New Drop-In Center For Saint Martha’s Hall

of protection, safety planning, referrals to community agencies like housing assistance, shelters and legal services, and information and support for family and friends. There are also programs for children including a learning center, daily living skills, emotional regulation skills, parenting support and community resources.”

Operating out of a refurbished farmhouse, the drop-in center is set up like a cozy living room where women can sit down with a cup of coffee, meet with experienced advocates and discuss next steps, whether it be a hot meal, legal services, filling out job applications or talking with a caring listener. The dropin center also provides resources for friends and family of abuse victims.

“We’ve tried to set it up like you’d go to your neighbor’s house and have tea and a cookie and chat for a while. That eventually leads to whatever needs there may be and we see what we can do for them,” said advocate Diana Camren. “When you’re in an abusive relationship you feel so isolated, so it’s very important to us that people can come in and sit with someone face to face.”

The drop-in center is open Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. No appointment is necessary and all services are free of charge.

1,000 Women a Year

In addition to the drop-in center, Saint Martha’s Hall participates in outreach programs, speaking with community organizations about its mission. That’s how Rehmer, a board member of nine years, learned of the program.

“My daughter was at Nerinx Hall, and the Mothers’ Club had the previous executive director of Saint Martha’s come talk about the mission,” said Rehmer. “I went up to her afterwards and said, ‘You really need to get this message to the girls. They need to understand this stuff if they’re in a relationship.’ I said I was interested in helping and two years later, they asked if I would consider being on the board.”

Advocates from Saint Martha’s are available to present educational programs on services offered and topics related to the organization’s work. Brochures and pamphlets are also available.

“We want people to know who we are and what we do,” said Rehmer. “You don’t want to need it, but boy, you sure want to know it’s there if you do.”

Making resources available to women is only part of the outreach. Saint Martha’s also aims to educate young men to help them recognize abusive tendencies and avoid patterns of abuse.

“We need to change male behavior.

That’s why this problem exists,” said Bob Springer, a board member and former board president. “I have a son and I want him to know what a healthy relationship is. It’s just as important to me as what my daughters are going through. We’re trying to improve the situation and to let men and boys know that we’re not going to turn it around without their help.”

Springer, of Kirkwood, said Saint Martha’s Hall is aiming to expand its outreach through programs and social media. The new drop-in center is the organization’s first-ever expansion, but it’s certainly not the final one.

“Once we get this up and going, we can expand it to other places in St. Louis, and maybe even beyond,” said Rehmer. “We’ve got a new 10-year plan to serve 1,000 women a year in some way, and over the next 10 years we plan to educate one million people on domestic violence.”

Signs of Abuse

A frog won’t leap into a pot of boiling water, but a frog will sit in a gently warming pot of water until it’s hot enough to cook — this well-known paradigm illustrates how so many women fail to recognize they are in an abusive relationship.

Victim advocate Diana Camren, who has worked with Saint Martha’s Hall for 26 years, said that while physical abuse is easy to recognize, often there are less obvious red flags for other forms of abuse.

Many abusers, she said, are controlling to the point of not allowing their partners to make decisions for