Black Girls Hearts preview by Carl Carter

Black Girls’ Hearts in a poem

The Perfect Man Warmth in your heart, happiness in your soul When you feel like a half, his love will make you whole You’re always smiling, you never seem mad And he’s there to comfort you whenever you’re sad The love you make is powerful and strong He makes you feel like a goddess all night long He caresses your body, while on the bed you lay He’ll enter your temple, and do as you say He spoils you rotten and you’re children too He loves them because they are a part of you You shiver every time he comes around Your heart skips a beat and it falls to the ground Although everything is real as it seems You wake up nights thinking it’s all a dream You stopped searching for your perfect man, Because when you open your eyes there he stands Shanta I. Duck

Cover designed by Alex Betancourt, All City Graphix, allcitygraphixny@aol.com Page layout by Ali Shute, sixtwofourdesigns.com Printed by Crown Media and Printing, Inc., crownmediacorp.com Edited by Evan McCollin, evan.mccollin@gmail.com ISBN# 978-1-4507-7114-6 Copyright © 2011 Shanta I. Duck Deanna Lester Clark Tira Joi Adams All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of Kani Publishing Inc. except where permitted by law. Published by Kani Publishing Inc. Saint Albans, New York KANIPUBLISHINGINC@yahoo.com www.kanipublishing.com Printed in the U.S.A.

Black Girls’ Hearts…

Dedicated to all girls and women, regardless of ethnic origin, who have been in anyway abused or have lost their spirit for whatever reason.

â&#x20AC;Ś in a poem iii

A WORD TO BOYS AND MEN REMEMBER! She is somebody’s daughter She is somebody’s sister She is also someone’s aunt She is somebody’s mother She also could be somebody’s grandmother RESPECT HER LOVE HER And know that she’s the world God has gifted her to man

Black Girls’ Hearts…

INTRODUCTION Black girls’ hearts beat with the burden of a dark and heavy stone of doubt and despair that lies within us which creates chaos and wreak havoc within our spiritual souls. It causes us to fall short of our own emotional expectations. We are taught that the heart is a vessel for love and is a place where love radiates. But, in some instances that light can grow dim and we sometimes can get lost in the despair and darkness which cast a shadow over our spirit. The hearts is our guiding light. This same heart beats with optimism and courage that allows us to face and fight our demons, create the determination to fight our way back to the light and have love for ourselves. It is only then that we feel the peacefulness of the soft breezes which blows from the four corners of our hearts which as God’s children we deserve. Black Girls’ Hearts in a Poem is a paradox of that light and dark which black girls so often experience. We allow ourselves to fall into the deepest depth of defeatism. The darkness can make us neglect and damage our children. Such as illustrated in the poems “A Mother’s Loss” and “Crying Out.” We can let this darkness allow others to abuse our temples and our minds. This darkness can cause us to hurt others because we ourselves hurt inside.This is representative in the poem “Another Individual’s Death Song.” But when we let the light shine through and we let God take our hand we will become beacons of love for all but especially for ourselves. We will take our children into our bosom and protect them from all who wish to do them harm, as seen in the poem “Determined.” In the poem “Little Black Girl” we see a young woman having the courage to take her life into her own hands and make things better for herself without relying on anyone but God and her own spirituality. For our spirituality and knowledge of ourselves will evaporate the darkness and allow us to see inside our hearts and see all the love that is waiting to set us free from that dark and heavy stone of doubt and despair. Let this be the path that leads us to be better black girls and ultimately better human beings.

… in a poem v

TABLE OF CONTENTS CRYING OUT................................................................................... 1 LITTLE BLACK GIRL........................................................................ 2 ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL’S DEATH SONG.................................... 3 A MOTHER’S LOSS.......................................................................... 4 BEAT DOWN LOVE.......................................................................... 5 BABY AJA........................................................................................... 6 DEAR MOMMY................................................................................ 7 A FADING MEMORY....................................................................... 8 ALPHABET PERSONALITY............................................................. 9 MY LIFE............................................................................................10 DEAR DIARY...................................................................................11 SAYS HE WILL NEVER LET ME GO..............................................12 DON’T BE JEALOUS OF MY ORGASM........................................13 16 AND PREGNANT.......................................................................14 WHAT’S A WOMAN’S PLACE?........................................................15 WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS...................................................................16 I FINALLY GOT IT...........................................................................17 I DIDN’T HAVE TIME......................................................................18 I DO...................................................................................................19 HERE I STAND.................................................................................20 MY FINAL STAND...........................................................................21 GREAT-GRANDPA..........................................................................22 CALLING FOR YOU........................................................................23 SATURDAY MORNING IN THE CITY.........................................24 WHY..................................................................................................25 PULL UP YOUR PANTS...................................................................26 A LOVE LIKE THIS...........................................................................27 THE KEY UNLOCKS ME................................................................28 CITY STREETS................................................................................29 JUST YOU..........................................................................................30 BEAUTIFUL HAIR...........................................................................31 MOTHER..........................................................................................32 CURSED...........................................................................................33 I’M CRYING.....................................................................................34 CALL ON GOD.................................................................................36 HIGHWAY PRAYER........................................................................37 THE GREAT STORM......................................................................38 LIFE....................................................................................................39 vi

Black Girls’ Hearts…

TABLE OF CONTENTS DEATH..............................................................................................40 CHAOS..............................................................................................41 ANGER..............................................................................................42 ONCE THE PAIN BEGINS...............................................................43 LET US HELP EACH OTHER.........................................................45 MY GOD AND I...............................................................................46 ODE TO A SISTER-IN-LAW............................................................47 NEVER WALK ALONE.....................................................................48 R.I.P. MOMMY.................................................................................49 ABANDOMENT...............................................................................50 IN SIMPLE WORDS..........................................................................51 I ALWAYS WILL.................................................................................52 MY SISTERS AND BROTHERS......................................................54 BLOCKING OUT MY SORROW...................................................55 YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE.............................................................56 HOME...............................................................................................57 JUDGMENTAL PEOPLE..................................................................58 I HATE YOU......................................................................................59 LUST..................................................................................................60 WHAT DID I DO WRONG..............................................................61 LIVING MY LIFE..............................................................................62 ODE TO AN AUNT..........................................................................63 HE & ME...........................................................................................64 CAN WE BE FRIENDS.....................................................................67 WOMAN BEATER...........................................................................68 SILENT KILLER................................................................................69 RAVEN..............................................................................................70 THAT’S WHAT DADDIES DO.........................................................71 THE PERFECT MAN.......................................................................73 A SISTER’S PAIN..............................................................................74 PEOPLE WATCHING.......................................................................76 DETERMINED.................................................................................78 MY MOTHER’S DEFINITION OF A RICH PERSON..................80 IT IS TIME.........................................................................................81 RUNAWAY LOVE.............................................................................82 SCORNED........................................................................................84 BLACK BEAUTY..............................................................................86 THE TWINS......................................................................................87

… in a poem vii

Another Individual’s Death Song Sitting in the doctor’s office staring at the clock Tapping her feet twirling her hair feeling as if her heart may stop. Sweat began to fall, her stomach became upset, Oh how there are so many things that she does regret. The doctor came in, as she sat there so afraid, Your test results came back young lady, you have full blown AIDS. Her body became weak, and tears began to fall She didn’t know what to do and didn’t know who to call. She began to sleep around so she could share her pain, Having unprotected sex was the name of her game. She became pregnant, and brought a baby into the world, Knowing she had the virus, she passed it to her baby girl. Her little body did not last she died at one year old Mommy did not shed a tear her heart had grown so cold. Using drugs and drinking, all night at the bar She’s given up on life, because she feels death is not too far. Men abusing her body she let them have their way, Because little did they know, in the end that they will pay. AIDS began to take over, her body could not stand She died with her legs open, and in between them was a man. Shanta I. Duck

… in a poem 3

I Finally Got It I really wasn’t use to men treating me this way Once it even crossed my mind that maybe he was gay I just couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong And why his hands were never where they didn’t belong Long ago a real man would have made a move I just didn’t get it, what was he trying to prove Actually, it was kind of nice being treated like a lady He listened to my every word and never thought me crazy I don’t remember what it was or when the fire started I only know that without him I would be broken hearted Having had enough I now tossed caution to the wind Like a hungry lioness I jumped all over him Looking deeply in my eyes he stopped me in my tracks He whispered, “Once we cross this line there is no turning back.” That night he took me to a place I’d had never been before Beyond what once had satisfied, he showed me so much more Since that day I’ve never had a thought of any other I finally got it. He will always be my lover Tira Joi Adams

… in a poem 17

… in a poem 73

About the Authors Tira Adams born 1982 in Brooklyn, New York is an aspiring actress, playwright, and producer. She studied Advertising and Marketing at Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. She may have inherited her wit and writing skills from her father, the platinum record producer, Patrick Adams, recipient of three ASCAP Songwriter of the Year Awards. She is a prolific reader who enjoys a wide range of literature from the great classics to contemporary works like the Harry Potter series. Her curiosity about the Universe drives her to keep an open mind about possibilities. As Hamlet said, “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy… Deanna Lester Clark was born in Newark, New Jersey on January 30, 1991.She moved to North Carolina where she attended and graduated from Middle Creek High School in 2009. She loves to read, write, and spend time with her family and to communicate her thoughts through her poetry.

Shanta I. Duck was born in New York City and moved to Lillington, N.C. with her parents at the age of 4. Shanta attended Overhill High School in North Carolina where she graduated before going on to Central Carolina Community College from which she would also graduate. Since elementary school Shanta has been fascinated with writing poetry and short stories. She especially loves to write children’s stories and is currently working on a children’s book about an adventurous fairy as well as an animated children’s movie. Her love for writing has inspired her to publish this collection of poems.

88 Black Girls’ Hearts…

Index of Poems Crying Out..........................................................1 Little Black Girl....................................................2 Another Individual’s Death Song...........................3 A Mother’s Loss....................................................4 Beat Down Love...................................................5 Baby Aja...............................................................6 Dear Mommy.......................................................7 A Fading Memory................................................8 Alphabet Personality.............................................9 My Life..............................................................10 Dear Diary.........................................................11 Says He Will Never Let Me Go...........................12 Don’t Be Jealous of My Orgasm..........................13 16 And Pregnant.................................................14 What’s A Woman’s Place?....................................15 When All Else Fails.............................................16 I Finally Got It...................................................17 I Didn’t Have Time.............................................18 I Do...................................................................19 Here I Stand.......................................................20 My Final Stand...................................................21 Great-Grandpa....................................................22 Calling For You...................................................23 Saturday Morning in the City.............................24 Why...................................................................25 Pull Up Your Pants..............................................26 A Love Like This................................................27 The Key Unlocks Me.........................................28 City Streets.........................................................29 Just You...............................................................30 Beautiful Hair.....................................................31 Mother...............................................................32 Cursed................................................................33 I’m Crying.........................................................34 Call On God......................................................36 Highway Prayer..................................................37 The Great Storm................................................38 Life.....................................................................39

Death.................................................................40 Chaos.................................................................41 Anger.................................................................42 Once The Pain Begins........................................43 Let Us Help Each Other.....................................45 My God And I....................................................46 Ode To A Sister-In-Law......................................47 Never Walk Alone...............................................48 R.I.P. Mommy....................................................49 Abandonment.....................................................50 In Simple Words.................................................51 I Always Will.......................................................52 My Sisters And Brothers.....................................54 Blocking Out My Sorrow...................................55 You Are Always There.........................................56 Home.................................................................57 Judgmental People..............................................58 I Hate You..........................................................59 Lust....................................................................60 What Did I Do Wrong?......................................61 Living My Life...................................................62 Ode To An Aunt.................................................63 He And Me........................................................64 Can We Be Friends?............................................67 Woman Beater....................................................68 Silent Killer........................................................69 Raven.................................................................70 That’s What Daddies Do.....................................71 The Perfect Man.................................................73 A Sister’s Pain.....................................................74 People Watching.................................................76 Determined........................................................78 My Mother’s Definition of a Rich Person...........80 It Is Time............................................................81 Runaway Love....................................................82 Scorned..............................................................84 Black Beauty......................................................86 The Twins...........................................................87

… in a poem 89

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90 Black Girls’ Hearts…

Black Girls’ Hearts in a poem