Mindful As Sh*T

MINDFUL AS SH*T

BY ANTHONY GONZALEZ, LCSW

Just breathe. Gently in, gently out. Notice the natural pace of the body rising and falling. Feels good, doesn’t it? Good. Must mean we’ve been mindful. And yet, you might be critiquing whether you did it right or long enough. Or maybe you’re still worried about whether you looked or sounded silly.

Well, that turned unmindful really quick. Or did it?

I’m grateful that our society and culture is embracing mindfulness, as well as talking about it and incorporating it more into our shared conversations. And, like most things new, they can be easily misunderstood or corrupted without deeper reflection and understanding.

Mindfulness is not simply sitting and breathing, yet it is that, too. Mindfulness can be just about anything, and almost nothing, because it is less an act and more a state of being. Mindfulness is, at its roots, focus with intention. Mindfulness is purposeful attention to your presence in a moment. It is far more a state of awareness than an action. To be “mindful” simply implores us to attend to the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and interactions in any given experience. It is dialectically effortless and intricate, both innate and needing to be cultivated through practice.

Working to develop a consistent practice of mindfulness does not require you to create a space with incense and candles burning or finding the best-guided meditations. Yet again, it can be that, too. There are wonderful and effective apps and YouTube channels that are incredible guides for meditative practice.

Still, I feel that is only one narrow lane of the bounty of mindful living. There’s a great deal of science and research that supports the benefits of both mindfulness and meditation, and more needs to be done. The best outcomes are being seen in the benefits on perceived stress levels and the ability to regulate emotion, as well as the increase in the strength of the pre-fontal cortex (that part of our brain responsible for decision making and impulse control.)

Below are some foundational ways that you can work to incorporate mindfulness into every aspect of your life:

Mindful living is a practice of non-judgment. Judging others, our experiences, and the self is in essence saying that the moment should be different than what it is. Mindfulness is the acceptance of moments just as they are.

We can be our most brutal critics, and the judgments placed on ourselves and others limit our ability to embrace an experience for what it is, rather than what we expect it should be. This can be applied to every aspect of our lives. Judgment limits our ability to fully participate in a situation and often creates emotional distance or internal criticism. Mindfulness helps us observe and describe moments in our lives with a wiser mind, rather than intense emotion or just the sterile facts.

Mindful living is a practice of validation. Validation is a mindset of seeking truth, even if it is only a tiny kernel. Fundamentally, there are very few absolute truths. Therefore, the practice of mindfulness encourages the exploration of the genuineness of our own and others’ experiences, thoughts, and emotions. When we seek to understand, it keeps us more connected to the present with acceptance and curiosity, and it distances us from the impulse for judgment or rejection. It can be the nurturing of emotions of all types, not only the comfortable or pleasant ones.

Nikki Naumann

We can learn to be mindful of our emotions, sitting with

“Mindful living is a practice of validation.”

anger or sadness and not rejecting an emotion because we label it as “negative.” Mindful relationships develop out of the goal of being fully present and attentive to the interactions we’re having with focus on, interest in, and understanding of their truth, even when we may disagree.

Mindful living is a practice of awareness. The most difficult challenges we face in our continued growth are conscious awareness. Sometimes reality feels overwhelming or our worry and fear nudge us to check out and avoid. Our minds can then drift. Reality always seems to shift, as things reveal themselves as impermanent. Mindful awareness can help to gently acknowledge when we wander and become conscious of it, intentionally refocusing on the present.

Next time you’re having a conversation, taking a walk, or working on a spreadsheet, practice this type of awareness. It may help you maintain a sense of gratitude for the interactions we have with the world. This practice also helps us become more aware of our emotional experiences. When we connect with this awareness, we can lean toward acceptance and understanding rather than judgment and detachment.

My perspective is not full truth, either. And, I hope you can find your own definition of mindful living. Take a walk and feel each time your foot touches the ground. Eat a piece of chocolate so slowly that you notice layers of flavors. Notice a new characteristic about someone you see every day. Smell

the laundry when you’re folding clean clothes. Any situation in life can be a practice in mindfulness.

Just allow your mind, your body, and your emotions to come together, and it will feel Mindful As Sh*t!

Anthony is the Clinical Director at The Delray Center in Delray Beach, FL, which is one of the most clinically and medically advanced mental health treatment centers in the United States. Anthony is a proud alumnus of the University of Kansas School of Social Welfare. Anthony has advanced therapeutic training in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Prolonged Exposure Therapy.