Love Lost & Found PAUL & SHARON’S STORY
More Time to
LOVE & Be Loved
A FORUM FOR BOOMERS AND SENIORS IN THE OKANAGAN
SUMMER 2013 issue
contents
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4 Publisher’s Point of View • Laurel D’Andrea • Love is in the air!
6 Paul and Sharon’s story: Love Lost and Found • Sharon Malkinson • How one couple found love for a second time.
8 More time to love, and be loved • Jessica Samuels • Taking care of your heart means extra time for love.
21 Laughter, Trust and Wine = Great Marriage • George & Trudy Heiss
10 Love and the End of Life • Susan Steen • Love is important til the end of time.
• How one couple keep their love real.
12 Good Health is a Choice
22 Autocross a “Pure” Motorsport
• Dr.Wayne Terai • Loving your body is a choice.
13 An Attractive Smile • Dr. Duncan Chambers • We only get one first impression.
• Bruce Stevenson • A love for cars is a great hobby.
24 No Slowing Karen Down • Scott Klassen • Our angel is a lovely lady with a big heart.
14 Love means... advocating for the rights of our loved ones
26 This Charitable Event has Wings
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• Marla O’Brien • A love for planes bring them closer together.
• Kris Stewart • Love is finding the right answers for the ones you love.
28 Bringing Harmony to Community
18 You are Love • Rawle James
• Guy Bird • Men who love to share their talent.
• A poem that is all about love.
20 Which Generation has the Biggest Smile? • Mary Ann Murphy Ph.D. • Smiling is important at every age.
29 The Love Affair Between Artist and Audience • Randy Zahara • Watching
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a great performance can be like falling in love.
DEPARTMENTS 4 Publisher’s Point of View 6 Cover Story 8-14 Health Matters
ISSN# 1718-7435 Mail Publication Agreement # 41324527 PUBLISHER - Laurel D’Andrea EDITOR - Julianna Hayes COVER PHOTO - Wayne Duchart CONSULTANT - Wayne Duchart LAYOUT & GRAPHICS - Lori Johnson, Dragonfli Studio SALES & MARKETING - Laurel D’Andrea PRINTING - Mitchell Press WEBSITE - CSek Creative BOOKKEEPING - ATM Bookkeeping PHOTOGRAPHER - Wayne Duchart, Harry Brust.
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20-25 Community 24 Angels Among Us 28-29 Entertainment
Beyond 50 welcomes unsolicited articles or photos.These items can be sent to 1850 Ranchmont Crescent, Kelowna BC V1V 1T4 or emailed to submissions@ beyond50mag.com. All submissions are considered property of the magazine unless otherwise agreed.The opinions expressed in this magazine are the opinions of the authors and they do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Beyond 50. Beyond 50 magazine is published quarterly: September, December, March and June.This free publication is distributed throughout the Okanagan (Lake Country to Penticton). Reproduction in part or whole of this magazine is prohibited without the consent of the
www.WelcomeToKelowna.com • Your Portal to the Community
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publisher. Beyond 50 magazine is distributed to all businesses registered with Canada Post for the Central Okanagan, random homes receive a copy and there are various drop locations throughout the Central Okanagan. Beyond 50 may also be viewed electronically by visiting us at www.beyond50mag.com We would love to hear your comments. Please send them to Beyond 50 at 1850 Ranchmont Crescent, Kelowna, BC V1V 1T4, phone Laurel at 250-878-9194 or email us at laurel@beyond50mag.com BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2013 •
3
publisher’s point of view
Finding Love...
new Beginnings and Happy ever afters!
When was the last time you were in love? I am not necessarily talking about with an individual. People fall in love every day, but for various reasons. I just love my new car, I love the artwork we picked for the family room, I love my new therapist and so on. Beyond 50 is all about love for this issue. I wanted people to share their stories on what they love and why. It was my love for the 50+ crowd that made this magazine a reality. I always loved how much wisdom, knowledge and experience the 50+ group has to share,so why not provide a forum to do just that.
This magazine has been a labour of love for me, and I am happy that so many people have taken the time to (L to r) Devon, Laurel and Dallas. enjoy it. I also hope that people who do read it, also take the time to support the advertisers who allow me to make it happen. They, too, are in love with what they do, or just as passionate. We have articles that will either encourage what they provide to you, the consumer. Small to mediumbased businesses rely on repeat customers, word of mouth, little ads in magazines or newspapers, and social media to help grow their operations.We as business owners may“love” what we do, but we all have families we love and need us to support them. If you go into a place of business that advertises with us, tell them you saw their ad. They really do love to hear that. Sharon is the gorgeous bride on this issue, and yes she is 50. I know she doesn’t even look close to that. Sharon was fortunate enough to find love a second time around. The story of Sharon and Paul is real, not dramatic. They met, they opened up their hearts and they were willing to take a chance. The best part for me is they really make people see there is hope for new beginnings, and that everyday people can have a happy ever after. I think the message that hits home for me is if you are willing to open up your heart, it can and will happen. I guess I should try it! Love for sports, art, music, community and our jobs can be
you or provide affirmation that the love for what you enjoy is a good thing. As we get older,we also have to look at what love feels like when we lose it. I am referring to a loved one, a change in career, or friendships. There comes a time when we need to say goodbye because it’s a loved one’s time to leave this world; the person you used to be close to has moved or you now have different perspectives; or you’ve outgrown the job that you used to love. They will always have a special place in our hearts, but now that love occupies a different part.When you let go, it opens up the door to new adventures, new friends and, yes, a new career path. As I write these words, tears roll down my face. They are not tears of sadness, just tears about how exhilarating the future can be if people are just open enough to let it happen. As Devon and Dallas head into life as young adults, my wish for them is that they see what the power of love can do. That they experience love for that special someone, love for a career and love for things that make life worth living.
ABOUT THE COVER:
Finding Your Love and Happiness... 4 • SUMMER 2013 • BEYOND 50
If you’re serious about finding someone special, visit magnetix.ca to learn how!
250-864-2324 www.magnetix.ca
Sharon is the beautiful bride we are featuring in this issue. Sharon and Paul were married at the Lindon House on May 18th. The gorgeous bouquet Sharon is holding was created especially for her by FlowerScene. A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • www.Beyond50mag.com
PHOTO • WAYNE DUCHART
Submitted by Laurel D’Andrea
cover story
Paul and Sharon’s story: Love Lost & Found Submitted by Sharon Malkinson
looking fellow join the game. I was drawn by his sense of humour and a full head of hair. After several
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PHOTOS • CONTRIBUTED
As my 27-year marriage was coming to an end, I asked my daughter Sarah if she thought I would marry again, and she said,“Yes!”Less than three years later, her prophecy came true when I married a wonderful,loving person. During the last half of 2010, I lost three loves. My Mom to cancer, my marriage, and a Golden Retriever, but I did not lose the desire to share my love. My faith, family and friends helped me through these trying times. I even adopted another Retriever named Lucy from the SPCA. A short time after my separation, a good friend and coworker asked if I would like to play pickleball. I hadn’t heard of this game, but I thought it would be fun to learn and meet new people. I didn’t think I was going to be meeting that someone special, as I was somewhat “younger”than most people there,but I loved the game and the wonderful people who were playing it. Months later, as the game moved outdoors, I noticed a “younger” Paul and Sharon first set their eyes on each other at Pickleball.
A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • www.Beyond50mag.com
cover story months, Paul got up the courage to ask me out after pickleball,however, he did it at the intersection of Glenmore and High Road, when the traffic light turned red. I said yes to lunch at Brandt’s Creek, just as the light was turning green.No one could drive through until Paul ran back to his car! We both enjoyed our lunch and the conversation. As I did not perceive this to be an actual date, I asked Paul if he would like to marry again, along with many other tough questions. I liked what he had to say, as he did not seem discouraged about getting remarried after his long-term marriage came to an end several years before. I allowed him to pay for our meal, but reinforced this was a non-date. Paul took this as a sign that I was not interested, so he kept his distance. Three weeks later, we happened to bump into each other at the grocery store. By the way, I always avoided grocery shopping on Saturdays, but that day I needed to stop and pick up some food for a friend who was helping with renovations on my house.Paul had been listening to the radio and heard the Gospel Mission was in need of turkeys for Thanksgiving, so he headed out to the store at the exact same time. I asked where his shopping cart was, and he quickly left to retrieve one without saying much else. As I was about to pay for my groceries, Paul came up behind me with his shopping cart with five turkeys for the Gospel Mission. He said he was going to a movie later and asked if I would like to join him. That was the start of our dating relationship. Less than three years ago I took my son Paul (yes, my son and husband share the same name) for shoes for my Mom’s memorial, and he wore those same shoes for my wedding day. I also planned the dream wedding that I didn’t have the first time around, including wearing a white wedding gown and having my Dad walking me down the aisle. My Mom always said you never know what is around the corner! I truly believe the more you give; the more you receive. I have been www.WelcomeToKelowna.com • Your Portal to the Community
blessed abundantly, more than I could have imagined. Paul and I were married at the Lindon House by our pastor on May 18,2013.We both strongly believe in the commitment of marriage. The picture of the two of us was taken on a Princess cruise to Alaska last May.Originally my sister and I were going to take our Mom and Dad for their 50th wedding anniversary, but sadly my Mom passed away before then. So two years later my Dad arranged for us, four adult grandchildren and my Dad’s brother from England for a fun family cruise.
BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2013 •
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health matters
More time to love, and be loved
Submitted by Jessica Samuels
We never want to think about it happening to us. We certainly don’t want to think about it happening to someone we love. But we cannot ignore the facts: in Canada, a stroke occurs every 10 minutes;in B.C.,stroke is the primary cause of acquired long-term disability. These are uncomfortable thoughts for sure, but this June, for Stroke Month, the Heart and Stroke Foundation wants to tell you: There is life after stroke. Of course, the best love
story is one in which stroke does not happen at all; the good news is up to 80 per cent of premature heart disease and stroke is preventable. But what is equally important to know is having a stroke is not an ending, as so many people believe. With good rehabilitation and support, all stroke survivors recover to some extent and can go on to lead full, meaningful lives. At the Heart and Stroke Foundation, we want to give people more time to love, and be loved.That’s why we have worked hard to improve stroke care in this province. The BC Stroke Strategy, our review and recommendations for optimal stroke care, has found a home with the Stroke Services of BC - a new agency in the Provincial Health Services Authority. We have established a detailed
Provincial Stroke Action Plan. We continue to support and partner with organizations, such as the Stroke Recovery Association of BC, and we currently fund more than 24 researchers and research teams.Of course this is done with your support. The success and progress we make towards eliminating heart disease and stroke, and improving the quality of life for thousands of Canadians affected by these conditions are due to the overwhelming generosity of the friends of the Foundation. This June we invite you to make health, and love, last. Warning signs of a stroke Call 9-1-1 immediately if you observe sudden, and sometimes temporary, onset of: weakness or numbness; trouble speaking; vision problems; severe and unusual headache; dizziness or loss of balance. Stroke Risk Factors you can do something about:High blood pressure (hypertension); high blood cholesterol; atrial fibrillation; diabetes; being overweight; excessive alcohol consumption; physical inactivity; smoking and stress. For more information about the risk factors and signs of stroke go to: www.heartandstroke.ca JESSICA is the Okanagan/Kootenay Area Manager for the Heart and Stroke Foundation. She has a strong commitment to community and can be found volunteering with various organizations, and anchoring the 11pm news on Global Okanagan, or enjoying down time with her family.
• General Dentistry • Neuromuscular & Aesthetic Dentistry • Sleep Apnea Appliances • One Visit Cerec Crowns • Implants • Sedation Dentistry • Digital Smile Makeovers • Pure Power Mouthguards
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Dr. Robert Wageman
A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • www.Beyond50mag.com
“ ” Fill a tummy, fulfill a future. The World Health Organization states that nutrition is the foundation for health and development. Healthy children learn better, are stronger, more productive, and have a better chance of breaking cycles of poverty and realizing their full potential. In 2012 over 10,000 hungry children came to the Kelowna Food Bank for help. Their need is greater than our supply. Your commitment of $35 a month can help us eliminate child hunger in Kelowna.
www.nohungrychildren.com
www.WelcomeToKelowna.com • Your Portal to the Community
BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2013 •
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health matters
Love
at the End of Life
“Love is not what the mind thinks, it’s what the heart feels.” There are so many decisions to be made, so much talk of medication, treatments, options and clinical discussions at the end of life,that for those whose life is ending and for those saying goodbye, the details of dying can overshadow the expressions of love and a life still being lived.
Someone once said that explaining how to love at the end of life is like trying to teach someone to breathe. Breath comes in and goes out in regulated patterns - so does love. There is the opportunity,perhaps as never before,to express gratitude, ask for forgiveness, say thank-you, and release the past, as the present is all there is. So much of what we have held onto is miniscule, when compared to facing a life that’s nearing the end. Love can be expressed in a myriad of ways; a gentle touch, a caring word, a fresh-baked cookie, a smile, the words “I love you,”or just a silent presence. What is important, early on, is to have the meaningful conversations about death, dying and wishes of the individual about the funeral, legal discussions about wills, power of attorney, and other legal documents. While this discussion may seem cold and unfeeling, it comes from a place of love and caring, as wishes are fulfilled, time spent worrying can be re-directed towards the individual, not the decisions that have to be made. Stress is relieved because a
10 • SUMMER 2013 • BEYOND 50
conversation identified and answered the important questions - a true act of love. R i t a H ay wo r t h’s daughter once commented, upon the death of her mother,“I now have to lear n how to have a relationship with my mother who is no longer here.” And yes, you can. My dad and I would buy each other the worst, and silliest cards for any occasion and now 23 years after his death, I still scour the card shops for the card that would make him laugh out loud. Somehow that makes me feel still very connected. Love goes on in thought, in memory, in every good deed, and every story told. Embrace the life, treasure the moments, and know that until that last breathe, we love and are loved. SUSAN has spent over 25 years in the non-profit sector and presently holds the position of Executive Director for the Central Okanagan Hospice Association.
A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • www.Beyond50mag.com
PHOTOS • SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Submitted by Susan Steen
www.WelcomeToKelowna.com • Your Portal to the Community
BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2013 •
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health matters
Good Health is a Choice
I love my patients. I have learned so much from their collective knowledge over the last 18 years. It’s a little ironic, because the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a doctor as “a learned or authoritative teacher.” But who is really teaching who? A while ago, a patient told me that she and her husband were celebrating their 60th anniversary.I asked her,“What’s the secret?”She replied,“Love is a choice.” Her answer was confusing. I thought love was a feeling. You know, when the sky looks bluer, nothing can upset you, and the person you are in love with can do no wrong? I asked her to clarify this idea, and what she told me really made a lot of sense. She explained that a marriage is a union of two individuals. They are each living their own experience, based primarily on their values and past experiences. They can say or do things that are hurtful to the other person.The problem is we are egotistical and we assume the words or behaviors have to do with us and then we take it personally. More often than not, it has nothing to do with us at all! As my
PHOTO • SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Submitted by Dr.Wayne Terai
patient explains,“that person didn’t get out of bed in the morning with the thought and goal of intentionally hurting the other person.” Now, as a chiropractor, this “love is a choice” theme made a lot of sense to me. Being healthy is a choice. You can
choose to love your body - feed it a well-balanced diet, exercise it regularly, and give it enough rest.
has been there, the longer it takes to get better. I have heard all the excuses why a chronic health problem has not been addressed: time, money, or thought it would go away. Choose to love your body and take care of it, because guess what? If you wear out your body, where are you going to live? You are worth it!
You can also choose not to love it - feed it with junk food, deprive it of physical exercise, and not give it sufficient rest. One of the most important things you can do for your body, though, is to attend to problems when they arise. From my 18 years of experience as a doctor of Chiropractic, I can say with certainty that the longer the problem
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Call 250-860-4518 to book your complimentary consultation today! #229-1634 Harvey Ave., Kelowna • www.burtchchiropractic.com A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • www.Beyond50mag.com
health matters
An Attractive Smile
First Impressions Are Everything
A unique study developed by Kelton Research contrasted images of different types of smiles. In the study, respondents were shown images of people with varying tooth issues and asked to give their honest opinions about them. Results of the study indicated that people with a nice smile are perceived to have more desirable qualities than those with smile problems, including attributes such as being happy, surrounded by loved ones, and professionally successful.
According to the Kelton study, the smile is what people notice and recall when first meeting someone. Your smile can affect how others perceive you, including: • Making a Lasting impression: Nearly 1/3 of Americans say the first aspect of someone’s face they typically notice is their teeth, and 24% say that an attractive smile is what they remember the most after meeting someone. • Nice Smile = Success: When looking at images, those with a nice smile are perceived to be 45% more likely than those with an unattractive smile to get a job. They are also seen as 58% more likely to be successful, as well as 58% more likely to be wealthy. • Love at First Sight: When it comes to attracting a possible mate on a dating site, those with a nice smile are seen as 57% more likely to get a date based on their picture alone. • Unattractive Smile = Less Dates: Nearly two in five people would consider not going on a second date with someone who has an unattractive smile. • A Nice Smile Goes a Long Way: Nearly three in four would be more likely to trust someone with a nice smile than someone with a good job, outfit, or car. The “Biggest Turn-off” dating survey revealed attributes that people find most appealing and least appealing in a romantic partner. When asked what they noticed first about potential partners, 62% of respondents said a person’s smile. A survey by the mega-dating site Match.com collected data from more than 5,481 singles and more than 1,000 married couples, asking them a range of questions about their preferences and revealed the following: Men judge women most on: • Teeth (58 per cent) • Grammar (55 per cent) • Hair (51 per cent)
Women judge men most on: • Teeth (71 per cent) • Grammar (69 per cent) • Hair (53 per cent)
Whether you are single, dating, or happily married, having a nice smile is very important to how you are perceived by others. A beautiful smile sets the stage for a great first impression with everyone you meet. www.WelcomeToKelowna.com • Your Portal to the Community
At Dr. Duncan Chamber’s office each Smile Makeover is different and highly individual. For some, a simple tooth whitening procedure may be all that is needed. For others, Porcelain Veneers are required to create a white, straight, even smile. Replacing metal fillings with natural-looking porcelain fillings is another great option.There are numerous possibilities; Dr. Chambers will help you understand if one or several procedures are needed to achieve your smile goals. DR. DUNCAN CHAMBERS is a Board Certified Dental Specialist (Prosthodontist).He has over twenty years of experience and advanced training in Creating Beautiful Smiles, Teeth Whitening, Dental Implants, Porcelain Veneers and Cosmetic Dentures.
Come see Dr. Chambers, Board Certified Dental Specialist, and get the smile that you have always wanted. He has over twenty years of experience and advanced training in Creating Beautiful Smiles, Tooth Whitening, Dental Call now and get a Implants, Porcelain Veneers FREE INITIAL and Cosmetic Dentures. CONSULTATION! All in a new, state-of($150 value) the-art office. Not happy with your smile?
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Your Smile, Our Specialty.
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BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2013 •
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PHOTO • SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Submitted by Dr. Duncan Chambers, D.D.S.
health matters
Love means...
advocating for the rights of our loved ones.
As Baby Boomers (I am one too), we learned that nothing came easy, every nickel counted, and if we saved enough nickels, we could buy a comic book and an Orange Crush on Sunday. Our parents made sure we said “please” and “thank you,”and when we misbehaved in front of guests, that "look" was usually all it took to put us back in line. We’ve grown up, and have seen many changes in our society. Big changes have happened in the funding for education and health care. Having worked as an RN for 25 years in international hospitals, the Arctic, international waters, the deep south, even during an air crash disaster, I’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly - on both sides of the border. In the last decade that I have spent caring for seniors in the Okanagan Valley, I see things that make my heart ache. During the course of my work as a community nurse for my own home care agency, I visit seniors who live at home. I see many who struggle to dress, bathe, cook and shop for groceries. They are not managing well because they do not have assistance. Families are spread out now, so gone are the days where seniors could be cared for in the family home. Provincial and regional healthcare funding has simply not
PHOTOS • SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Submitted by Kris Stewart RN, BScN, MBA
kept abreast of the changing family structure. The focus for many decades has been on funding hospitals and nursing homes. Federally funded researchers, say
home care is a critical part of an integrated approach to health care. The same researchers say that when seniors receive care they need in their own homes, the cost to the health care system overall drops as hospitalization rates drop, and there are lower rates of placement into long-term care homes. At least 15-37 per cent of people waiting in the
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A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • www.Beyond50mag.com
health matters hospital for long-term care beds, could be safely and economically supported living at home (Health Council of Canada, 2012). When seniors are not able to receive the help they need at home,they start a downward spiral of health and fragility. Among OECD countries, Canada spends much less than other countries on home care services. Home care is a cornerstone of the health care system, and not something that happens off the side (Health Council of Canada, 2012). If a senior does not qualify for home care services from the health authority,home care companies,such as ours, can provide this essential support.
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So, love means doing two things... First, speak with your leaders in your local health authority, and speak to your provincial MP about your concerns about the inadequate funding for home care. Second, call a private home care agency for an assessment of your loved one for services, before further decline precipitates an early move to a facility. CITATION OF SOURCE: Health Council of Canada (2012). Seniors in need, caregivers in distress: What are the home care priorities for seniors in Canada? Toronto: Health Council of Canada.
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You are LOVE
Submitted by Rawle James
LOVE is energy The energy from which we are It is the space that binds electrons It is the air we breathe Love is just a word But it’s our connection that drives our will In concert with life Lifting to a vibration of higher consciousness Love is fear’s oxymoron For there is no fear, there is only our true spirit
Only you, Only love Love knows no duality It is not alone nor lonely, it is infinite, it is, it was Always will be as you are Infinite LOVE is harmony that lives within It is beyond thought or spoken words Its reach knows no limits Love guides the acceptance of self It is the alpha, the omega, It’s the sun, the moon, the stars It is the rivers that bleed life It is all things, one thing
You Love equals one as we are one It shines a light on fear It illuminates the abyss It cascades sight to heighten one’s experience Love is the now For it fuels wisdom and is knowledge’s verb It moves mountains to highlight your worthiness Love is an anchor It is complete without malice Has no judgment, void of expectations Love is your greatest treasure It is who you are Love is Spirit Love is God Love is the Universe Love simply is,
Love is You 18 • SUMMER 2013 • BEYOND 50
RAWLE JAMES: My education comes from 25 years in the business world and living an uninspired victim’s life for which I was just going through the motions.Today I design my life to fulfill my true spiritual purpose. I am many things, a father, son, brother, poet, writer, coach and mentor. And as much as I love all my roles, I am much more than those labels. I am everything that this universe is... I am, that I am. I now fully know and embrace my purpose for I no longer ask the questions, who am I or why are I here. I fully embrace my power of Choice. KIM LAKE received her BFA from Concordia University in 1993. She has been stubbornly persisting with the idea she’s an artist since well before she knew what that meant. Now she knows what it means. Kim wants to share her love of story and image with people of all ages, share her curiosity about life and to make sure that people have something nice to look at when they wake up in the morning. She works in photography, children’s book illustration, graphic art,painting,writing,editing,random teachings and does the odd sculpture. She asks you to really look at the beauty of the world.Your creativity is special. A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • www.Beyond50mag.com
BACKGROUND ARTWORK • KIM LAKE
entertainment
entertainment
www.WelcomeToKelowna.com • Your Portal to the Community
BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2013 •
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community
Which Generation has the PHOTOS • SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Biggest Smile? Submitted by Mary Ann Murphy, Ph.D.
A significant amount of research has been dedicated to discerning which generation comes closest to having the contentment of a Mona Lisa smile. Investigators from many countries have examined, and continue to explore concepts of happiness and success, with the former generally measured as an expectation versus achievement quotient. Generally, the findings of this research point to a U-shaped curve, with happiness lowest in the challenging child-rearing years, but ultimately rising in older age. The finding of the highest levels of happiness in the older years startles those with ageist attitudes. Various studies - those done in the U.S. by Forbes and Gallup among them - have found the generation born before 1945, during the Great Depression and WWII, to be the happiest. A new 2013 Canadian survey sponsored by Revera Care Homes, in affiliation with the International Federation on Ageing, confirms it, with researchers declaring “the older you get, the happier you are.” Specifically, 65 per cent of
the Canadian seniors surveyed were happy with their lives, and over half felt very optimistic about aging. Who came closest to the Mona Lisa smile? Those 75 and over, who were the most likely to say that age is just a number! According to the Revera Report, authored by gerontologist Dr. Amy D’Aprix, 42% of respondents over age 75 also claim that the best is yet to come. What positive things did they look forward to about aging? Being comfortable in their own skin (68%); being surrounded by friends or family (72%); and, having time to do things that are important to them (62%). Some researchers are even looking through their magnifying glass at centenarians, in an attempt to identify a personality gene for optimism. The Boomers (those one in three Canadians and Americans born roughly between 1946 and 1965) are painted as a generation with very high expectations - whose signature song is claimed to be “My Way” - in a recent
Harvard/MIT AgeLab study. However, their industriousness is countered by high work and family stress, problems of the sandwich generation, and very volatile economic environment. One indicator of Boomer stress is the announcement by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control that the suicide rate among middle-aged Americans rose a shocking 28 per cent in the past recession riddled decade. Further, the Boomers have lower self-rated health than their parents’ generation, according to a study by Dana King, M.D. at West Virginia University. The Boomers’ obesity rates, like those of their children, soar above those of their parents, while their physical activity rates are often shown to be far lower. Many new bank studies suggest that Boomers wish they had been better able to save more for retirement, as well as taken better care of their health. Perhaps the Millenial generation can take a lesson from their grandparents in subjectively redefining what constitutes the elusive state of happiness. The Millenials have been watching their overworked parents, and at least for now, vow to preserve their leisure time and balance work and family. With relationships, health and a basic good standard of income as a foundation, the added inspiration, optimism and laughter of their grandparents may bring the biggest smile of all! MARY ANN MURPHY, Ph. D., Associate Professor, Cross-appointment on Aging, School of Social Work and Department of Sociology, UBC.
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Laughter, Trust and Wine = Great Marriage
community
Submitted by George and Trudy Heiss
PHOTOS • CONTRIBUTED
George and Trudy Heiss started growing grapes in Lake Country in 1972. True pioneers in the B.C. Wine Industry, they opened Gray Monk Estate Winery in 1982. Today, they still operate the winery with the help of their three sons. They recently celebrated their 51st wedding anniversary. When asked what the secret is to a successful marriage, George and Trudy Heiss both believe there are many answers and are happy to share their top words of wisdom and favorite Don’t take yourself sayings. too seriously.
“Compromises’ are for relationships not wine.” Bend sometimes but don’t break! Be prepared to take risks.
- Sir Robert Scott Caywood
Be prepared to share a journey. “Wine. Because no great story ever started by sipping a coke.”
“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.” - Mae West “You are the wine of my life!”- Anonymous
- Anonymous
“I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to my food.” - WC Fields
Always let your partner know how much you love them. Say it often. Laugh a “Friends don’t lot and let friends wine treasure the alone.” - Anonymous moment. “Wine improves with age I like it the older I get.” - Anonymous
Be kind to each other.
t “Don’t worry abouyou s A n. io avoiding temptatit will avoid r de ol grow you.” - Winstonill Church
Trust each other. Do things together. www.WelcomeToKelowna.com • Your Portal to the Community
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community PHOTOS • CONTRIBUTED
Autocross a “Pure” Motorsport
Submitted by Bruce Stevenson
Autocross at Okanagan College in a TR6.
tion and active participation. It is often referred to as Solosport or slalom. An autocross is a timed competition where
drivers navigate, one at a time, through a temporary course marked by traffic cones, rather than racing on a track with multiple other cars - as in road racing or oval racing.
Autocross tends to place more emphasis on car handling and driver skill than on sheer horsepower. Events typically have many classes, which allow almost any vehicle, from economy sedans to purpose-built vehicles, to compete. Speeds are slower when compared to other forms of motorsports, but the activity level can be much higher than even Formula One, due to the large number of elements packed into each course. While speeds are no greater than those normally encountered in legal highway driving, the combination of
Slowing down to make the corner.
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ACHILLES TENDONITIS PLANTAR FASCIITIS
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PHOTO • SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Love is an interesting emotion. I really love my wife and kids. But I also love to drive my sports car on a twisty road. But that’s a risky thing to do on a street full of other cars. Well there is a safer way to love twisty driving. It’s called autocross. Autocross (in Canada it’s called autoslalom) is a form of motorsports that emphasizes safe, low-cost competi-
community concentration and car feedback creates an adrenaline pumping experience. It is like being in a movie chase scene, only you are holding onto the steering wheel instead of a box of popcorn. Autocross courses are typically 40 to 70 seconds in length. In addition to being a national-level motorsport in its own right, autocrossing is a good way to learn skills that will benefit any driver, especially in an emergency situation, as drivers learn vehicle control and sharpen their reactions. Autocross events are usually held in large paved areas like parking lots or airfields. The Okanagan British Car Club - www.obcc.ca - holds events in the west parking lot of Okanagan College on KLO road on Thursdays evenings. The sport typically attracts ordinary sports and sports-type cars used for daily transportation. Every time you plough a little or get a little sideways, just visualize your competition overtaking you by a car length or so. One of the reasons autocross is such a difficult sport, but also such a pure sport, from the driver’s standpoint, is that you can’t make up this time. If you blow a corner in a road race, you may have a few laps in which to make it up. But to win an autocross against good competition, you must drive nearly perfectly. The driver who makes the fewest mistakes usually wins! BRUCE spent 40 years working for BC Tel and Telus in Vancouver, Kamloops, Ottawa and Kelowna. He is an avid skier, scuba diver and motorsports enthusiast. Bruce has had five MGB British sports cars, two of which were raced, and now drives a slightly modified Mazda Miata. He is president of the Okanagan British Car Club and chair of the Okanagan Valley Miata Club Topless Sun Run committee.
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angels among us
No Slowing Karen Down
PHOTO • CONTRIBUTED
Submitted by Scott Klassen
Karen’s love for people keeps her active and happy!
If angels are those among us who bring light and life and laughter to all, then Karen Bardwell is no less than exactly that. Born the second oldest of six children in Lynn Lake, Manitoba, in 1957, Karen’s life has been a continual journey
of encountering and overcoming personal obstacles, while always living an “others-focused” life. Karen was born with a physical and developmental
24 • SUMMER 2013 • BEYOND 50
disability, but has never let that slow her down. While growing up, she was encouraged to be active and independent and began her lifestyle of helping others by looking after her younger siblings and cousins. Upon moving to Kelowna, Karen got involved as a candy striper at the hospital, did filing for the non-profit organization, Earth Care, and volunteered at SunPointe, before getting connected to Tier Support Services and her support worker, Tessa Tesluk. Tier Support Services (www.tier.ca), is a local agency funded by Community Living BC, that supports people with developmental disabilities in getting involved in the community and finding meaningful employment or volunteer opportunities. Karen became Tier’s first ever participant in its then new employment program. After getting to know her, Tessa found an opportunity for Karen at the May Bennett Wellness Centre working in the kitchen. She so quickly impressed the chef with what she was able to do one-handed, that shortly after beginning, her job coach was told she no longer needed her support. Karen worked in the kitchen for seven years, preparing meals and drinks for the residents, doing laundry, training new volunteers, and anything else required of her. In June of 2011, Karen had an accident at work, breaking her leg. Less than six months later, Karen was walking unassisted and ready to get back to work. Although she wasn’t able to continue her former job in the kitchen, there was a need for someone to be more involved visiting and playing cards with the residents. Karen promptly learned how to play crib and jumped into her new role where she continues to be today. When asked why she has been so intent on volunteering and why she’s been at May Bennett for the last nine years almost every day, Karen simply says, “I just love the people there. And it gives me something to do, so that I’m not just sitting around.” Angels, though sometimes disguised in small packages with big smiles, do indeed walk among us.
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BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2013 •
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community
This Charitable Event has Wings More than 400 United Way supporters used a lot of muscle during the fourth annual Valley First Plane Pull Challenge on May 10. Getting together in teams of 12, they pulled a 33,500pound Convair 580 for 20 feet along the Kelowna Flightcraft tarmac, as fast as possible - all entry fees and extra fundraising efforts going to support community programs through the United Way. With event set-up, scoring, and team monitoring, it also takes a small army of volunteers to pull off the Plane Pull! A very special duo of annual Plane Pull volunteers is Liam Allport and George Ross.
As in past years, Liam and George spent the entire day on the Kelowna Flightcraft tarmac helping cheer on the teams, and holding up the Mackay banner for official team photos. Their involvement is born from a lifelong passion for aviation. In the words of Liam’s mom, Megan Ross: “My dad has been taking Liam to the airport to watch planes since Liam was a wee lad, since he was one and a half years old. It’s a special time for them both and they definitely have a routine, starting with getting a snack. It used to be fries at the restaurant - so many that the people behind the
26 • SUMMER 2013 • BEYOND 50
PHOTO • CONTRIBUTED
Submitted by Marla O’Brien
counter recognized them and gave them a ‘frequent fry card,’ before Tim Horton’s came in, and now it’s bagels and doughnuts. And then they watch the planes land and take off. Sometimes they park along the runway fence and other times watching from the upstairs observation area. They have always shared a love of airplanes and all things mechanical, and they jumped at the chance to help out at the Plane Pull this year and last year. Being around the planes and so close to Flightcraft is exciting, but spending time together and being part of the Plane Pull is such a great experience for them.” Thank you, Liam and George!
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community LIST OF ADVERTISERS Advanced Home Care Solutions Inc .......................14 Advantage Laser & Body Clinic..................................19 AMJ Van Lines ...................................................................23 Aphrodite in Me Spa.....................................................25 Astral Media - 1150 am ad...........................................20 Burtch Chiropractic ........................................................12 Cactus Ridge......................................................................27 Canadian Blood Services..............................................15 Capri Centre Mall .............................................................10 Central Okanagan Hospice Association ................11 Chances Gaming Entertainment.................................9 Dr. Duncan Chambers....................................................13 Dr. Robert Wageman.........................................................8 Dr. Sean Swift.....................................................................25 Everden Rust......................................................................25 Good Samaritan Canada ..............................................23 Gray Monk Estate Winery.............................................21 K-9 Oral Hygiene..............................................................15 KCR - New Horizon Project..........................................24 Kelowna Actors Studio..................................................27 Kelowna Foodbank ...........................................................9 Kelowna Gospel Mission ..............................................19 Kelowna Laser Therapy Clinic.....................................22 Kelowna Memorial Park Cemetary .........................23 Kelowna Music School ..................................................28 KGH Foundation .................................................................7 Magnetix Dating Agency - Julie ..................................4 Mayer Rd/Graham Res ............................................16,17 Okanagan Volunteer Opportunities Fair...............26 Oyama Zipline...................................................................19 Paul Mulvihill - Sunlife Financial ..................................9 Premier Jewellwery & Loans.......................................15 Prospera Credit Union......................................................6 Rann Berry & The One Hit Wonders ........................32 RCA.........................................................................................29 Ron Cannan - MP.............................................................27 The Ultimate Tribute to the King ..............................31 UBC Foundation..................................................................5 United Way .........................................................................26 Welcome to Kelowna .......................................................2 World of Music..................................................................30
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BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2013 •
27
entertainment
The Love Affair
between Artist and Audience Submitted by Randy Zahara
PHOTOS • CONTRIBUTED
Attending a live performance can be a lot like going on a first date. First there is the apprehension - should I go? Do I know this performer well enough? Do I care enough to commit an evening of my time and some of my hard-earned money on them? Sometimes the decision is much easier because you’ve spent an evening with them before, or you are already a fan and have been looking forward to a chance to see them in a more intimate setting. Sometimes the decision is a little tougher, more like a blind date where you have to rely on third party referrals and have a lot of faith. Once you have made your decision, you buy your ticket and show up for the event, wondering what the evening will bring. At first, the artist and you, plus (l to r): Randy, Stephanie, Fernando and Sandy after one of Fernando’s concert.
It is never too late to start or “restart”
We offer lessons on most instruments, voice and Royal Conservatory theory. Flex lessons for adults are available during non-peak times.
several hundred others, start to get to know one another a little better. A joke is made early on to break the ice, a familiar song is played to establish the connection to the audience, a few insights into the artist’s life or creative process are revealed. Then an ovation is given for a brilliant supporting instrumental, or in appreciation of one of the artist’s biggest hits, and the artist responds by lifting the energy level up a notch, which in turn generates more energy from the audience.
Audience energy is a magical thing. It can convert an aging artist into a teenager; an average musician into a virtuoso performer; and it has the alchemic properties to completely change both the onstage and offstage chemistry in the blink of an eye.
Check us out www.kelownacommunitymusicschool.ca 250-860-1737 28 • SUMMER 2013 • BEYOND 50
As the performance progresses, the connection with the audience deepens with every song and story. And the more open and honest the artist is, the deeper that connection becomes. By
the end of the evening, if all the stars align, the love affair between the artist and the audience will be consummated with several encores and standing ovations, and on some occasions, with an artist meet and greet, and autograph signing session after the event. These are the performances responsible for those wonderfully nostalgic feelings you get when you hear that one song from the concert that takes you right back to where you were, who you were with or what you were doing when you last heard it. For me, there are too many great memories to list them all. But a few highlights do come to mind, like the time I found myself completely mesmerized by Fernando Varela, one of the world’s most talented young tenors, singing his version of Roy Orbison’s “Crying.” I remember the incredible power of one particular note that literally took my breath away. I looked around to see if anyone else was as amazed as I was and saw the most
A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • www.Beyond50mag.com
entertainment
(l to r): Stephanie, Andre Phillipe Gagnon, Randy and Sandra.
intense reaction that I’d ever witnessed at a live performance; some people were standing and clapping, some were weeping openly, some were actually laughing because they didn’t know how to respond, and some people just sat there looking dumbfounded. Love is an amazing thing. It gives us a reason to live, it makes us want to try harder, to be My writing partner better. It brings Jim Shaw, myself and us together and Fernando Varela just released our b re a k s d ow n first single called “Love is All We Need boundaries, and to Know”. Check out the link at: it is something http://cdbaby.com/cd/fernandovarela1 you can get so On a related note, Fernando Varela is much back from going to be on America’s Got Talent by just giving it coming up in the next few of weeks. away. And in the We are excited to watch and per forming arts see how he does. world, on those nights you are willing to open your heart and let a little love out, you’ll be amazed by what you can get back!
RANDY ZAHARA, a songwriter and manager of the Kelowna Community Theatre, has worked for the City of Kelowna since receiving his BBA from Simon Fraser University in 1983. www.WelcomeToKelowna.com • Your Portal to the Community
BEYOND 50 • SUMMER 2013 •
29
entertainment
Bringing Harmony
PHOTO • CONTRIBUTED
to Community Submitted by Guy Bird
If you have ever had the opportunity to be on a set of risers as part of a male chorus and sang a song in the four-part harmony that characterizes barbershop music, then you will know why men of all walks of life fall in love with this hobby and the joy of singing a cappella. April 7-13, 2013, was proclaimed Barbershop Harmony Week, by Mayor Walter Gray in Kelowna, as well as in many other cities around the world, to mark the 75th anniversary of the Barbershop Harmony Society. From its humble beginnings in the U.S., the society has grown into an international society of close to 30,000 members, with chapters across North America and as far afield as New Zealand, Australia, Sweden,
Chordial Invitation at a performance at the Ramada Hotel.
Germany and the United Kingdom. Chordial Invitation, the Kelowna Chapter, has been in existence since 1972 and continues to pursue the society’s goal of “building a better world through singing.” The chorus regularly
entertains at retirement communities in Kelowna and the surrounding area. That old love song, “Let Me Call You Sweetheart,” never fails to bring back loving memories.The Beatles hit,“Yesterday,” appeals to the 50s generation, while “Hello Mary Lou - Goodbye Heart,” is guaranteed to get everyone’s toes a-
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tapping. Variety - the children’s charity, the Children’s Wish Foundation, and the Salvation Army Christmas Kettle Campaign have all benefited from the musical and active support of Chordial Invitation. The chorus staged a production entitled, “Barbershop and Brass - a Time to Remember,” that traced the life and loves of a war bride from her days of military service in war torn England to the peace of the Okanagan Valley. The Chorus has also performed for audiences throughout the Okanagan, including on the Island Stage in Kelowna’s Waterfront Park; at West Side Daze in West Kelowna; at the Peachland Senior ’s Center; and at the new Parkinson Activity Center. Every Monday evening, starting at 6:30pm, the chorus rehearses at the Parkinson’s Activity Center. Men of all ages and musical skill levels are invited to join in the camaraderie and the sheer therapeutic benefits that singing will bring. Gentlemen, come give a cappella harmony a really good road test. You’ll be glad you did, and you can help us “Keep the Whole World Singing.” For information call one of the two Mike’s at 250-769-1246 or 250-868-3796. GUY BIRD, the Chorus Director, discovered barbershop harmony in Montreal back in the early 70s and was hooked. He worked and lived across Canada and overseas and always found a chapter that welcomed him with open arms. Producing a barbershop show in the National Arts Center for the Ottawa Chapter remains one of Bird’s many highlights.
A Forum for Boomers and Seniors • www.Beyond50mag.com