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departments

30 Double Identity

On the Cover: Photo by Lindsey Byrnes

Indie rock stars Tegan and Sara open up about musical maturity.

8 Letter from the Editor When the cannabis cause strikes close to home—hearts and minds can change. 10 News Nuggets Cannabis makes headlines here, there, everywhere—and we give you the scoop—PLUS our latest By the Numbers. 24 Strain, Edible & Concentrate Reviews Our ever-popular sampling of medical cannabis currently provided by your friendly neighborhood dispensary. 34 Destination Unknown These days, the green smell of freedom is everywhere in Prague. 36 Profiles in Courage Our latest feature provides insight into the life—and struggle—of a medical cannabis patient near you.

features 14 In the Balance The state Supreme Court will weigh the legality of dispensary bans. 16 Legislative Action Several MMJ-friendly members of Congress set out to help patients. 20 Solar Flair? We break down the spring grow forecast—it’s going to be amazing!

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38 Cool Stuff From Bubble Bowls to Sky Glass’ The Jimmy, if it’s a cutting-edge product or cool lifestyle gear, we’re all over it. 40 Recipes Embrace your inner Irish heritage and sample a St. Patrick’s Day menu that’s twice as green. 42 Entertainment Reviews The latest films, books, music and more that define our culture. 44 Let’s Do This Our wrap-up of some of NorCal’s coolest events.

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letter from the editor GET YOUR CLICK HERE

www.iReadCulture.com

Roberto C. Hernandez Editor-In-Chief

Vol 4 IssUE 9

Publisher

Jeremy Zachary

Editor-in-Chief

Roberto C. Hernandez

Arts & Entertainment Editor Evan Senn

Editorial Contributors

Dennis Argenzia, Omar Aziz, Sarah Bennett, Jacob Browne, David Burton, Michael Carlos, Grace Cayosa, Jasen T. Davis, Rev. Dr. Kymron de Cesare, Alex Distefano, David Downs, James P. Gray, Lillian Isley, David Jenison, Liquid Todd, Kevin Longrie, Dan MachIntosh,Meital Manzuri, Sandra Moriarty, Damian Nassiri, Keller O’Malley, Paul Rogers, Jeff Schwartz, Lanny Swerdlow, Arrissia Owen

Change of

Heart

I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying, “Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer.” Here’s a new one: Sometimes your worst enemies can end up your best friends. Or at least a staunch ally. That’s the case with Melvin McDonald, a Mormon Republican and former U.S. Attorney whose job during the ’80s was being one of Reagan’s War on Drugs foot soldiers. You know those raids, indictments and prosecutions that we hear about all the time? Chances are, the guys handing out these marching orders are people just like McDonald: federal prosecutors who have made it a point to go after people like us: those of us who provide or utilize a god-given plant to benefit our health and the quality of our lives. It seems that McDonald is no longer wearing the jackboots. He had a change of heart. Not surprisingly, it was because a close family member, McDonald’s son, suffered a catastrophic traffic accident . . . and it turned out that medical cannabis was the only thing that could help him recuperate. The accident, which caused brain damage to his son, happened in 1996. By 1997 the son had developed seizures, seizures that spanned the past 14 years. This condition made it difficult for McDonald’s son to eat because of nausea and complications from prescription meds. “Without marijuana he cannot eat and he cannot hold the food down,” he told The Huffington Post. “So I’ve come full circle from being on the crimefighting end, to seeing it within my own home, having my wife have to go and obtain marijuana illegally to . . . keep him alive.” How often have we heard these stories, these experiences; everyday Americans who never cross paths with medical cannabis—until it strikes close to home. The father diagnosed with cancer who later discovers that cannabis can keep him from wasting

Photographers

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away. The Crohn’s disease sufferer who realizes a plant can help keep his condition in check. The veteran stricken by neuropathic pain who learns that the dried flowers he enjoyed for kicks as a teenager can deliver analgesic relief. McDonald has made the same journey. He’s become a believer. Talk about a change of heart. “There are people out there that have legitimate, genuine medical needs,” he said. “Marijuana is the one plant out there that solves enormous problems for people with—not only seizures like my son—but also cancer and other ailments.” Wild stuff, eh? Never would I have guessed that such earnest words of advocacy would come from someone whose 9-to-5 was busting purported pot perps. Now, I’ve got some concluding remarks . . . but I think I’ll use McDonald’s words speak for themselves about why medical cannabis is so important and why all levels of governments (Hey, Congress—I’m talking to you!) need to address the politics of prohibition. “This is a critical need for sick people. It is like taking away diabetic drugs from diabetics because of some policy decision. We’ve got to set up priorities in this country so that people that need marijuana for these medical needs— legitimate needs—can get it.” Well said, Mel. c

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need” for access to cannabis, the Sentinel states. Currently, only one other dispensary is authorized to operate in the city. Attorney David E. Thompson has filed an application to open Surf City Collective, a 1,500-square-foot dispensary and 3,000-square-foot marijuana grow at a River Street commercial building on the outskirts of San Luis Obispo orders the Harvey West industrial area. return of collective’s meds For the dispensary to open at They say you can’t fight city hall . the River Street site, the Plan. . but you can certainly get your ning Commission would have to cannabis back from the police if approve an exemption to a rule a judge takes your side. San Luis passed by the City Council in Obispo Superior Court Judge 2010 that restricts dispensaries John Trice recently ordered to within 600 feet of residential sheriff’s officials to return medical zones. cannabis and other items after felony narcotics charges against a U.S. Magistrate Judge collective’s driver were dropped, allows Harborside assetaccording to CalCoastNews.com. forfeiture case to proceed Chance Everett Simmons, Federal prosecutors can proceed who was a driver for the Central with their efforts to shut down Coast-based Ethnobotanica Harborside, according to a U.S. Patients Collective, was arrested magistrate, KTVU.com reports. Jan. 5 in Oceano after sheriff’s Federal prosecutors have been deputies found cannabis in pushing asset forfeiture proceedhis vehicle. Charges were later ings against Harborside since last dropped, and Ethnobotanica year, arguing it defies the federal executive director Ryan Booker government’s criminalization of said Simmons was engaged cannabis. Oakland city officials in a lawful activity at the time argued that shutting down of his arrest. Trice’s order said, Harborside would cause the com“Good cause exists to return the munity great harm. property as the case has been Oakland City Attorney dismissed and the property has Barbara Parker said officials were no evidentiary value.” going to consider an appeal,

THE STATE

Santa Cruz considering new dispensary at River Street industrial area

which would require City Council approval, or other options. “We’re disappointed,” she told

several media outlets, “but we have strong convictions about the harm Oakland will suffer and is already beginning to suffer as a result of the forfeiture actions.”

THE NATION

Oregon’s SB 281 could add PTSD to list of qualifying conditions

Medical cannabis advocates met last month in Oregon to aid those who are suffering from PostTraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), according to a recent Cannabis Culture bulletin. The advocates are backing SB 281, which would add PTSD to the list of conditions allowed by the Oregon Medical Marijuana Act. Currently, veterans who suffer from PTSD cannot acquire medical cannabis through the program unless they have other

qualifying conditions. However, Oregon’s laws do allow patients to acquire the plant for pain caused by PTSD.

North Carolina medical cannabis bill introduced

State Rep. Kelly Alexander introduced a bill last month that could potentially lead to the legalization of medical cannabis in the state, according to News 14 Carolina. While North Carolina has had the opportunity to allow dispensaries to sell to patients via past legislation, Alexander’s Bill 84 is receiving more acceptance given that state residents are becoming more accepting of MMJ. The bill would allow patients to grow their own cannabis and let them possess up to 24 ounces. Alexander is a funeral director who has drawn on his personal experiences of “meeting the families of people who could have benefitted from medical cannabis.”

The Santa Cruz Planning Commission is still in the process of considering approval of a new dispensary—but is taking time to address any community concerns, the Santa Cruz Sentinel reports. The Planning Department recommended the project as a way to support a “public health 10 CULTURE • MARCH 2013

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“Compassion centers” might be in West Virginia’s future

West Virginia is looking to join the medical cannabis club. The Panhandle State is considering a bill that would allow patients with certain medical conditions to use cannabis with a doctor’s recommendation, according to the Coal Valley News. In the past, similar bills have failed. HB 2230, or The Compassionate Use Act For Medical Cannabis, would allow patients to possess up to six ounces and establish five “compassion centers” across the state. Patients would also be allowed to grow up to 12 plants in their homes. “A majority of West Virginia voters want to see the state take a more sensible and compassionate approach to medical marijuana,” Matt Simon, a legislative analyst for the Washington, D.C.-based Marijuana Policy Project told the News. “We sincerely hope the state’s representatives recognize that many of the voters who support medical marijuana are the same voters who elected them to office.”

THE WORLD Czech Republic lawmakers approve medical cannabis

After a decisive victory of an 83 percent approval vote in the upper Parliament of the Czech Republic, President Vaclav Klaus is expected to sign a bill that allows for the partial legalization of medical cannabis use, according to the Associated Press. The law is creating some controversy, as for the first year the law is in effect the country will only import cannabis. Though there are plans to give licenses to in-state farmers, critics are speculating that users will turn to a black market for their supply of MMJ. Those who wish to use medical cannabis must receive a prescription.

by the numbers expected regarding a dispensary ban case: 90 (Source: Associated Press).

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The number of dispensaries that have opened in Massachusetts over the years: 8 (Source: 90.9WBUR).

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The amount of food (in pounds) that MedMar Healing Center, a San Jose dispensary, collected for a local food bank recently: 1,834 (Source: PRWeb).

The number of dispensaries that Massachusetts’ new MMJ law would allow to open up: 35 (Source: 90.9WBUR).

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The number of U.S. prescription drug overdose deaths in 2010: 38,329 (Source: SFGate.com).

The amount of cannabis (in ounces) that North Carolina’s HB 84 would allow patients to possess: 24 (Source: General Assembly of North Carolina).

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The timeframe (in days) in which a ruling from the California Supreme Court is

The amount (in dollars) of the current fine for possession of less than two ounces: 500 (Source: Vermont State Legislature).

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The total retail value (in millions of dollars) of products containing hemp in the United States: 400 (Source: The New York Times)

The total value of hemp raw materials (in millions of dollars) imported into the United States last year: 11.5 (Source: The New York Times)

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4

The number of overdose deaths in 2010 caused by cannabis: 0 (Source: SFGate.com).

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The distance (in feet) that dispensaries must stay away from residential areas in Santa Cruz: 600 (Source: Santa Cruz Sentinel).

fine for possession of up to two ounces in Vermont, according to a proposed decriminalization bill, SB 48: 100 (Source: Vermont State Legislature).

The maximum size (in feet) of “total garden canopy” allowed for home grows, according to HB 84: 24 (Source: General Assembly of North Carolina). The maximum amount (in dollars) of the civil

Photo courtesy of Oakland Art Murmur

“Art on 25th: Winter Thursdays” One of the most creative areas in California, the Oakland Art scene opens up its doors and hearts twice a month for community art walks this time of year. Though Oakland’s First Friday art walk may be the more popular event, the “Art on 25th: Winter Thursdays” event is less of the crowded-fair vibe, and more of an intimate exploration of art, music and culture in Oakland’s vibrant art scene. The event is a street festival where more than a dozen creative spaces located on the block of 25th street between Telegraph and Broadway stay open one Thursday evening a month. Winter Thursdays take place in January, February and March. Galleries stay open later—until 8 p.m. on these nights—and include Vessel, Oakopolis, FM, Mercury20, Manna, PHOTO, SLATE and Roscoe Ceramics Gallery. Brand new exhibitions, sales, and installations litter the neighborhood businesses and galleries, while local wearable fashion art will debut at Zero Friends, Myrhhia Fine Knitwear and The Moon. Live acoustic music will seduce your ears at 25th Street Collective, 7-9 p.m., while Two Mile Wines stays open until 10 p.m. to quench that elusive thirst. Perfect for people who want a more relaxing alternative to Oakland’s First Friday Art Walk.

IF YOU GO

What: “Art on 25th: Winter Thursdays.” When/Where: March 28 along 25th Street, between Telegraph and Broadway. Info: Go to oaklandartmurmur. org.

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FLASH

Decisions, Decisions {By David Downs} The fate of medical cannabis access for hundreds of thousands of California patients suffering from cancer, AIDS and chronic pain hangs in the balance of the California Supreme Court. In a special public session at the University of San Francisco, the California Supreme Court last month began hearing oral arguments in case of City of Riverside vs. Inland Empire Patients Health and Wellness Center. While a verdict isn’t expected until at least early April, the case is expected to decide if California cities and counties can ban dispensaries, with huge ramifications for the state. “This is a watershed case,” says former Sonoma County Public

Defender and practicing cannabis attorney Joe Rogoway. The Supreme Court hearing is the latest in a 17 year-long struggle to clarify state MMJ law, attorneys say. In 1996, Californians used Proposition 215 to grant patients and caregivers immunity to certain state pot laws. In 2003, the legislature expanded those immunities to cover collectives of patients and caregivers, but those collectives must abide by guidelines set out by the California Attorney General in 2008. The entire process has been contentious, though. About half the state—especially Inland and Southern California—has resisted the rise of MMJ. Opponents have

Say What?

Can cities and counties ban dispensaries? The California Supreme Court is expected to decide soon . . .

worked to make medical pot laws vague and give law enforcement the broadest discretion possible. “Now, what happening is the courts are writing the law—legislating one case at a time. It’s a very inefficient way to write law,” says Santa Rosa attorney Scott Cantrell, who got a case against a Vallejo dispensary dismissed in December. “The grey area just makes more people go to court, it gives District Attorneys and police too much discretion to waste a bunch of time and money.”

IEPHWC launched in 2009 in the battleground of Riverside. The city quickly moved to shut them down. Local law bans all storefronts, Riverside told IEPHWC. The two sides went to court and a California Superior Court judge, as well as an Appeals Court sided with Riverside. But other Appeals Court decisions have rejected blanket bans on dispensaries. IEPHWC filed for an appeal to the California Supreme Court, which granted review and will conduct oral arguments in a rare, televised hearing at USF. According to briefs filed by IEPHWC, their position boils down to the argument that Riverside can’t ban dispensaries, because such a ban would contravene state law. Conversely, the City of Riverside’s position boils down to the argument that the Legislature has never specifically said cities can’t ban pot clubs, so cities can. MMJ patient Angel Raich from Albany said patients in cities with dispensary bans “suffer the most.” Eliminating clubs leads to negative patient outcomes including death, she said, not to mention decreased public safety. “Law enforcement closing down dispensaries [is] forcing patients to buy it from drug dealers that are getting it from cartels,” she says. c “I have strong concerns about the recent actions by the federal government that threaten the safe access of medicinal marijuana to alleviate the suffering of patients in California.” —U.S. Rep. Nancy Pelosi

Big Deal

The ramifications of this state Supreme Court case will be profound, most agree. If the court upholds Riverside’s ban, it means the 170 or so city dispensary bans in California are lawful. Hundreds of thousands of current patients will continue to be denied medical access via local dispensaries, and more dispensary operators will be jailed. Dispensary law won’t change in the 50 or so cities that permit clubs, but perhaps dozens of California cities and counties—San Jose for example—have temporary moratoriums on dispensaries. A verdict either way will push them to either enact bans or reconsider them.

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BUZZ

Our

Saving

Grace? MMJ-Friendly members of Congress are pushing two bills to protect patients nationwide {By Jasen T. Davis} The greatest obstacle to any sort of legal reform when it comes to the issue of cannabis is that no matter how many laws states pass, to the federal government cannabis is still classified as a Schedule I drug right next to PCP, morphine and LSD. As long as this is so, the Drug Enforcement Agency can raid anyone they wish anywhere in America because federal law says they can. In what can best be described as a refreshing blast of sanity, politicians from both sides of the aisle are sponsoring H.R. 689, the States’ Medical Marijuana Protection Act, which would reclassify cannabis for medical use and allow states to regulate the issue without federal interference. This would be a giant leap ahead for advocates who have been trying to reform the law for decades. U.S. Representative Earl Blumenauer (D-Oregon) is the author of this historic piece of legislation. Why does he believe that the time is now for a bill like this? “We are in a situation now where the developments around the country have taken an already archaic federal framework and basically rendered it inoperable,” he says. Widespread support for medi-

cal cannabis across the country is at record levels, and the congressman agrees with a vast majority of the country that believes the federal government should back off of the issue. “Right now at least a quarter of Americans have access to medical marijuana throughout the states and Washington, D.C. ever since California legalized cannabis for medical use in 1996,” he says. “Our federal laws have become antiquated.” Sponsors of the bill comprise Republicans and Democrats from both sides of the aisle, including Rep. Mike Honda (D-San Jose) and Rep. Sam Farr (D-Carmel). Farr has authored another bill, H.R. 6134, the Truth in Trials Act, which would allow patients to use a medical defense for using cannabis in a federal court of law. Without this new law to protect them, patients are fair game for federal prosecutors and a system that hands out dozens of years for possessing cannabis, medical or otherwise. Blumenauer believes that both bills will help clear up the confusion in regards to medical cannabis and federal law. “The government is in a tough spot. Cannabis is still a Schedule I substance. Yes, many states have taken action to legalize medical

marijuana, but 31 have not,” he says. “Obama has to obey the law.” Farr’s proposed bill also includes provisions would allow doctors and scientists to research the medicinal properties of cannabis without federal government interference. “Right now because it is a Schedule I controlled substance it is extraordinarily difficult for people to get access to marijuana for research purposes,” Blumenauer says. With the new law in effect qualified, professional medical researchers could fully explore the issue without having to deliver the same government-mandated message. “We would make sure that state doctors and private businesses would have the same legal right to research marijuana for potential medicinal purposes,” he says. “Otherwise, the federal government will continue to prevent any independent study of the therapeutic aspects of medical marijuana.” “We currently have a situation where the federal government limits the research to just the addictive properties of marijuana,” Blumenauer says. “It has to be reclassified as a Schedule I drug because otherwise it will continue to be compared to addictive drugs that have no medicinal value.” c

TheVote’sIn! Rep. Earl Blumenauer is truly optimistic about the bill’s chance to become law, and he isn’t alone. “There are a dozen bipartisan members of Congress who are all working together on some aspect of this issue. They are looking into the industrial uses of hemp, and how we can regulate it and tax it like alcohol.” The elected official believes that change is finally possible on a federal level for the first time. “I anticipate that there is a real chance that we can reform our laws on a federal level within this decade . . . More than twothirds of Americans say the federal government shouldn’t interfere with medical marijuana. Voters across the country have spoken. Why would anyone who is conservative or liberal try to stand in the way of states’ rights over this?”

U.S. Rep. Earl Blumenauer

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BUZZ

Spring forward, indeed! California’s patients have already begun another banner year of outdoor cannabis cultivation this month, preparing seedlings of Girl Scout Cookies, as well as even more greenhouses, and in certain instances, fresh lawsuits to protect growers’ rights. The first day of Spring is March 20, and Rick Pfrommer— manager for Oakland dispensary Harborside Health Center—says it’s a very big time for outdoor cultivators across the state. Clones are moving swiftly out of dispensary doors, while back on the farm, seedlings germinated in January and February are catching up to clones inside indoor nurseries. Conversely, indoor growers may be winding down their operations before the summer heats sets in, says Kali Smith, a cultivation expert affiliated with the Inland Empire Patients Health and Wellness Center Collective. “Heat is our biggest enemy in the IE,” she says. 20 CULTURE • MARCH 2013

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Firsties This year, farmers will start sungrown crops earlier than ever, several experts say. Traditionally, growers planted outdoor cannabis after the last spring rains and harvested before the first fall showers. But growers are using a process called “light deprivation” to finish earlier and earlier each year. “Light dep” growers will germinate seeds indoors in January, vegetate under indoor lights for 18 hours a day and transfer the bushy plants to greenhouses to soak up the summer rays. Growers then black out the greenhouses with tarps, which kicks off flowering. Producers using light dep in greenhouses can finish their sungrown as early as July, Pfrommer says. But solar energy peaks in California on Aug. 10, says master cultivator, author and speaker Ed Rosenthal. So a second wave of greenhouse light dep finishes soon after, says Pfrommer. Both light dep harvests beat the traditional fall harvest, when a supply glut bottoms out annual prices. “Five years ago we saw a little bit of light dep stuff. Now, we’re seeing a significant amount of it,” Pfrommer says. Forecasting what strains will be hot—get ready for Cookies mania in 2013, watchers say. The hybrid strain Girl Scout Cookies took first place in the 2013 High Times Medical Cannabis Cup Los Angeles, and customers cannot get enough of the flavorful, complex mix of OG Kush, Cherry Pie and Durban Poison.

More Green—Houses Since sungrown is here to stay, greenhousesungrown cannabis has become “the wave of the future,” says Pfrommer. It can sparkle like indoor, which is critical in city markets that demand bling, but greenhouse-grown is also much cheaper as electricity bills rise. And not only do greenhouses facilitate light dep, greenhouses boost security and reduce odor. Many may love the sweet smell of skunk, but it’s become an excuse for cities and counties to ban pot grows. Pending and enacted restrictions or total bans on outdoor pot growing will lead to a year of lawsuits, watchers forecast. Last year, Lake County tried to tightly restrict pot cultivation in the middle of the growing season, and growers defeated the ordinance. But this February, a California court upheld similar restrictions in Tehama County. Butte County has enacted similar limits, and Sacramento now mandates outdoor cultivation be done in greenhouses. Elements in Concord, Redding and Lakeport all want to ban outdoor growing. Americans for Safe Access chief counsel Joe Elford says cultivation rights are spelled out in state law, but “the courts have not always enforced that right.” After dozens of major legal victories over 17 years, harassing medical growers is one of the few avenues left for MMJ foes, he says. “It’s another way to attack patients,” he says. “It’s going to mean the uprooting of crops, and people will be denied medications or will have to turn to the black market to get it.” “I do fear there will be other localities that will pass these bans and we don’t exactly know what the courts are going to do with them.” c

Successful Harvests “The GSC!!!,” says Smith. “I don’t see the popularity of ‘The Cookies’ waning any time soon.” Marijuana is one of the easiest plants in nature to breed, says Rosenthal. So expect “a whole plethora of cookies crosses in 2013,” says Pfrommer. New, CBD-rich strains grown in 2013 will increasingly find their way into lotions and balms as well, Pfrommer says. Smokers haven’t fallen in love with the non-euphoric molecule’s presence in flowers, but seniors love the anti-inflammatory in arthritis creams. California’s thriving industry will celebrate more strain diversity than ever this year, Pfrommer says. “More and more people are realizing there’s a wide world of cannabis choices out there,” he says. And whatever people grow, feminized and auto-flowering seeds have ushered in a new era of successful harvests, says Rosenthal.

“Absolutely Stellar” And none should dismiss the new, 3,000-pound gorilla in the room: two states have legalized cannabis for adults over 21, and the Colorado constitution has enshrined home-growing as a right. “What are the feds going to do?” says Elford. The only thing harder to predict than cannabis law may be the weather, he says. Everyone’s bracing for a let-down after the hot, sunny, dry 2012, which was the best year in many growers’ lifetimes, says Pfrommer. “It’s going to be hard to beat last year,” he says. “It was absolutely stellar.” According to the Old Farmer’s Almanac Annual Weather Summary issued in February, 2013 is shaping up to have generally normal temperatures and near-normal rainfall, depending on location.

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strain & edible reviews

Hemp Bar Hemp seed is the most nutritious seed on the planet, yet the U.S. government prohibits growing the food, fuel and fiber. Undeterred, the makers of Hemp Bar have forged ahead with a nutritious medicated hemp granola bar that’s completely organic and gluten free. Available at all fine California dispensaries, Hemp Bars use the highest quality ingredients, most of which come from Whole Foods Market. That means organic, gluten-free granola, puffed brown rice, oats, raisins, flax seeds, hemp heart, peanut butter, cinnamon and whole hemp seeds. Hemp Bars also contain 40 percent of a person’s daily saturated fat content, and about three sugar cubes-worth of sugar per bar, making them more like a granola-flavored candy bar than a bland energy stick. Lab-tested to ensure a 170-mg megadose of THC, just a bite of this bar can battle stress, anxiety and migraines, patients report.

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Chem Dawg Talk about a man’s best friend. Bay Area patients hoping to treat stress or depression might want to befriend Herbal Mission’s Chem Dawg this month. The sativa-dominant hybrid ranks among the most potent strains on the planet, and this Mission District dispensary has a killer cut of it. Chem Dawg came out of Colorado in the ’90s, and went east to become Sour Diesel and west to become OG Kush. Both OG Kush and Sour Diesel’s distinctly biting, astringent, “chemmy” notes come from parent Chem Dawg. Our huge nugs had that trademark, biting aroma of soil, must and fuel—it truly smelled like a chemical dog. Light green with dark leaves, this Chem Dawg ground spicy, and herbacious, then smoked sharp, medium-bodied and extremely flavorful, with earthy notes of rosemary and sage. A killer daytime medication, patients report getting energy and pain relief as well from this domesticated beast.

Greenleaf Platinum Cookies Never mind the Chinese calendar’s Year of the Snake, this is the Year of the Cookies. Girl Scout Cookies took 1st place in the High Times Medical Cannabis Cup Los Angeles last month, and patients new to the strain continue to quickly fall in love. It’s a complex mix of OG Kush, Cherry Pie and Durban Poison—Girl Scout Cookies is a multifaceted genetic mash-up from around the world. Our big, thick, chunky buds—available at Greenleaf Solutions in Vallejo—were well-cured, tightly manicured, lime green and covered in orange pistils as well as cloudy, white trichomes. Peeling apart Greenleaf Platinum Cookies smells is difficult: you got the sharp pinelemon punch of the OG Kush, the berry, spice and earth of Cherry Pie and the thin, grassy sweetness of the Durban. Together, Greenleaf Platinum Cookies can smell like a minty, well-baked cookie with a thick, rich smoke that patients report using to treat insomnia, pain, nausea and anxiety.

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Jack Black More like “Black Dynamite!” A Congolese like this took 3rd place in the 2013 High Times Medical Cannabis Cup Los Angeles, and we’re happy to see such exotic African genetics make themselves known across California. In San Jose, HHCC is now carrying this combination of platinum Jack Herer and Black Congolese—a phenomenal, mostly sativa hybrid. Jack Herer is an award-winning mix of Haze, Northern Lights and Shiva Skunk that smells and tastes like candy-sweet pine. The Black Congolese genes in here makes platinum Jack even bigger in size, darkens it a deep purple and gives it oily, spicy and peppery notes. Ground up, the Jack Herer smell dominates, but smoked, the Congolese takes over with a smooth yet spicy, biting and potent draw. Patients suffering from alcohol withdrawal and other addictions have found relief from nausea, depression and dysphoria with this powerhouse.

The Venice Cookie Company Strawberry Cannabis Lemonade/Cannabis Lemonade Give it up for the 3rd place winner in the edibles category of the 2013 High Times Medical Cannabis Cup Los Angeles this past February. The Venice Cookie Company has done the unimaginable and managed to infuse 16 fluid ounces of sweet lemonade drink with 72 milligrams of THC per bottle. Drinking a whole bottle (shake well first) would be like eating a half-eighth of sativa—very, very powerful medicine. Makers recommend drinking half the bottle and waiting at least an hour to judge effects. Made with cane sugar, lemon juice concentrate—and, in the case of the strawberry version, strawberry flavor concentrate—this drink tastes like old-school strawberry hard candy from grandma’s house—the red ones with the little green, plastic twisty top. The lemonade-only version tastes like sweet carnival lemonade. A ghost of the taste of cannabis lingers, but it’s in there. Edibles made with sativabased medicine such as this can be to treat some forms of ADD and depression, as well as anorexia and PMS.

L.A. Confidential Medical cannabis patients suffering from insomnia, pain and nausea are lining up for this blockbuster out of Los Angeles. Traditional L.A. Confidential is said to be a near-pure indica, mixing two types of Afghani strains for a very sedative, relaxing effect. Silicon Valley Arc in San Jose reports that its cut mixes OG Kush and Bubba Kush. Either way, indica dominates this sample, from the tiny nug size to its maximal density and trichome coverage. These grinder-lockers smell complex and spicy-sweet with notes of tobacco and chocolate. Ground up, notes of mint and hash emerge, and L.A. Confidential smokes smooth yet thick with a complex, piney, rich taste and immediate effects. This two-time Cannabis Cup winner packs a serious punch, making it the go-to strain for patients looking for sleep, anxiety relief and appetite stimulation. If you wake up to an empty fridge after an extended session, don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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concentrate reviews Jack Herer Honeycomb Wax San Jose’s All American Cannabis Club has been at the forefront of the concentrate trend. Its Jack Herer Honeycomb Crumble Wax exemplifies A2C2’s high standards. This yellow, translucent crumble wax has zero visible contaminants and amazing consistency throughout the entire sample. It smells truly phenomenal: light, piney, citrus-y Jack Herer terpenes, with zero plant matter. The crumble wax easily chips and crumbles with a touch of the dabber, and it’s easy to create thicker dabs from the little crumbs that fall off. On a hot nail, this concentrate vaporized cleanly, and tasted truly pristine: a hyper-light mix of sweet candy and pine, with zero cell wall or chlorophyll notes. This extremely powerful sativa-dominant medicine is perfect for patients treating multiple sclerosis, inflammatory bowel disease and chronic neuropathic pain.

Lime Wax Don’t drop the lime, dab it! We really, really loved this Lime Wax from CGC Santa Cruz as it kept us from getting anxiety or racing pulse like with some too-strong concentrates. Dark green with a sweet, very light, awesome smell of citrus, this Lime Wax could be worked like Play-Doh. It’s soft to the poke like cold peanut butter, but it was easy to firm up as a dab and not too sticky. CGC Santa Cruz says it uses a closed-loop system of collective growers within Santa Cruz to ensure the highest cultivation standards. Lime Wax seems to prove this claim, with a light limey smoke and zero residual chlorophyll or cell wall taste. Patients use this strong hybrid medicine to treat glaucoma, spasticity in multiple sclerosis and other serious conditions.

Yerba Dabba Doo CBD-enriched for those seeking a more mellow experience, Yerba Dabba Doo is an indicadominant hybrid of Jamaican Kush and Girl Scout Cookies. This concentrate from Yerba Buena Collective in San Jose is dark green and shiny at its thickest, but gets translucent gold when pulled. At room temperature it has the consistency of thick, super-sticky taffy and smells of plant matter, as well as lemon candy. On the nail, we got strong notes of grassy dankness—though we could have enjoyed even more of the lovely flavor. Yerba Dabba Doo also smoked slightly harsher than the other samples this month, kicking off a round of coughing commensurate with the sample’s potency. Patients are using these types of concentrates in edibles or smoked to treat Alzheimer’s disease-related insomnia, opioid dependence and fibromyalgia. Legal Disclaimer

Publishers of this publication are not making any representations with respect to the safety or legality of the use of medical cannabis concentrates. The reviews listed here are for general entertainment purposes only, and are intended for use only when medical cannabis is not a violation of state law. Please consume responsibly. Concentrates are legal and covered under Prop. 215 and SB 420, and they are considered a form of medical cannabis (H&S 11018). Without a doctor’s recommendation for medical cannabis, the possession of concentrates in California can be a felony (PC 1170).

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a van o be in erica t t n a w m orth A I don’t more; g around N ays Tegan. s in ” , travell cDonald’s it inside of M is pir eating have that s n doing th t n ee ’t “I don more. I’ve b years—I wa ; e y 4 r n 1 o a r m o e e m yf achiev sionall profes up; I want to omething s k to loo want to do I e ls or e nt.” differe

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d ppierg Recogrits o P A ndin discussin Sou T&S started When

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Photos by Lindsey Byrnes

tronau per As nd p o h a ip Tegan k ative h altern is informed m indie roc o h r f T . n y s o d a li e a g w t a ant s writin move nted ; we w Sara’s and toward classicallyrecord ; and we wa g in s as d r soun ction b’s 10 guita rds (which, had always produ ” (Heartthro utes y r a g e e o t h b t in t y e b ke cordin min ists sted ord. d pian tent) and re ther intere d tell ort rec -in under 37 e e h ’r in s a u a r o n t a x r e nic ers a usic y clock to an hrob lectro the m back the lay u’re afraid tracks done arily e uments. Heartt y , o e y e im t iv ip k r t t r a a a c p l) h t d r e an g th gs t mis tota inst with ore em d shin rosp methin t all the thin t and or a p arner ake no -out, big an rs since rganic definitely m what f o o M s s r n s a a u e u a th ere re in and f abou nior W g abo ut-and our ye “We w n ever befo p, alterhopes um with se Heartthrob’s of. Sin fraid to sing is an o ord. In the f have been o a , p h lb d t a in e c a n t ” s ’ e d . h e s a t es Kur new you’r will love it t tha pop r od the twin ith dance bedde pening in t nic world,” xecutiv ucers (Greg eldalt poin of the e o w a le p . o s h r a h p g t t t o h o c r r in in e s ic t B M p od Sa ra us wa , ele s afte g the bulk Justin ual pr ollabo use m ro dance nd “It wa event zondo and onfidence busy c cluding ho uetta, elect native writin eartthrob. A d e c li t r E ’s in G Mike e duo dventure we sta at made H we wanted artists r/DJ David n Page and a en), th a ce ever usic th cided that n Johns se of sonic ll. m produ aven Morg ’d e de n ba m hat w rea: t e s d u r e just and se ed to snow ept encour o o w c h a u tk every ke a re contin rybody jus . “ They were to ma efore . . . in a poppiern b a e p k “Eve g e o ma mad ys Te id; st ted to us,” sa g afra e e wan aging , ‘Stop bein st make th W ju ke ct just, li rried— ake. Refle m so wo being ou want to y MARCH 2013 • CULTURE 31 record


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says Tegan. “I like the production and the instrumental storytelling that was happening in electronic music, but I still really missed [lyrical] storytelling, so when we got off the road and started to write Heartthrob I had been challenged by Sara and a few other people to try to write outside of where I usually write and not to write self-depreciating, self-loathing shoe-gazer music.”

A Sense of Nostalgia

Heartthrob’s abiding sense of nostalgia—it’s a record staring off into space in the middle of the party—comes not just from its tales of lost, incomplete or unrequited love, but also from sounds evocative of another era in both music and in the sisters’ young lives. They delved back even further into their parents’ love of Bruce Springsteen, Kate Bush and Tom Petty, adding their own ’90s influences. “Heartthrob is almost like two sides of a record,” explains Tegan of both the album’s sound and its title. “My songs are sort of romantic and nostalgic . . . And Sara’s side of the record is more about rejection and sadness and sort of heartbreak that she’s suffered, but also it’s like a very reflective tone—so she’s basically singing about being well past that. “The commonality there is that we’re both singing about people that we were interested in and we both have this awful tendency to idolize the people that we like, and so I kind of love the idea of heartthrob . . . because I love the idea that we are not the heartthrobs; we are the ones pining for our heartthrobs.”

An “Everyone Band”

So deep is Tegan and Sara’s immersion in the world of dance music that this association is now perhaps partially eclipsing their actual songwriting and performance talents in the same way that their being twins and

LGBT has in the past. “For a lot of years when people didn’t talk about us being gay— back in 1999 through maybe 2003 . . . I felt like being twins overshadowed our music,” say Tegan. “Then from 2003 to like 2010, it felt like being gay overshadowed our music. And now all that anyone talks about is our production style and all the pop and dance collaborations that we do.” “Everybody’s looking for an angle,” she mulls. “[But] in a strange way I have more in common with straight men than I do with anyone else, because I’m singing about girls!” In fact, Tegan hopes that Heartthrob will make Tegan and Sara an “everyone band.” “We’ve spent a lot of our career opening for huge acts, and I like being on a big stage; I like looking out at 10,000 faces singing along—and I have never seen that as something we could do [as headliners],” she explains. “But all of a sudden I was like ‘Why can’t we have that—and be credible?’” “So the challenge became let’s make a record that is absolutely heartfelt and real and credible and great, but let’s make it so that people hear it.” c

Tegan and Sara spoke very openly with CULTURE about medical cannabis and cannabis rights. The sisters acknowledged they smoked the plant when they were younger. “Sara and I have made no effort to hide the fact that when we were teenagers we smoked a lot of pot. We were ambitious teenagers—we wrote a lot of music; we did well in school; we volunteered on a youth teen-line; we had jobs; we took piano lessons. We were busy, but we also smoked a lot of pot.” And even though Tegan and Sara no longer use cannabis, it’s something they continually joke about with fans during live shows—as any simple YouTube search using “Tegan and Sara” and “marijuana” will reveal. “[I]t’s definitely an icebreaker [on stage] . . . We always joke that we’re kind of like Phish, but for our generation,” Tegan says. “We have a lot of diehard fans who follow us around, and I swear to God people smoke so much pot at our shows!” But when it comes to the medical use of cannabis, the artist-siblings regard it very seriously—Tegan even describes the plant’s illegal status as “kind of ridiculous.” “I know multiple people right now who are struggling through Stage 4 cancers, and the fact is that cannabis is just a massive support and help in those situations,” she says. MARCH 2013 • CULTURE 33


destination unknown

Story By David Jenison photos courtesy of Prague Information Service

Czech

Yourself These days, the smell of freedom cannabis—is everywhere in Prague

“My generation, faced as it grew with a choice between religious belief and existential despair, chose marijuana.” So wrote Prague’s most celebrated author Franz Kafka. Ninety years after his death, the revered scribe appears prophetic as the Czech Republic has one of the highest European cannabis usage rates and a capital city described as the Amsterdam of the East. Of course, the Czech green streak fits nicely into the country’s recent narrative. In 1968, a series of liberal reforms ushered in what history calls the Prague Spring. The Czech government initiated a return of personal liberties, including freedom of speech and press, sparking a Soviet invasion to stop them. Years later, John Lennon’s death inspired Prague locals to create a graffiti tribute wall at a time when Western music was still outlawed. It became a symbol of the political youth movement, and every time the secret police whitewashed the wall, new Beatles art would quickly take its place. Finally, when the Velvet Revolution helped crack the Iron Curtain in 1989, the so-called “imperial scourge” of the West—that would be marijuana—became the smell of freedom. These days, the smell of freedom is everywhere in Prague. Jiri X. Dolezal, a.k.a. the Czech Hunter S. Thompson, is famous for books like Marijuana and Stoned Country,

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and he started the annual Reflex Cannabis Cup competition to honor the most beautiful cannabis plants. Likewise, the three-day Cannafest fair just celebrated its third year with more than 130 exhibitors, including Dutch seed banks. Legislatively, the government made cannabis possession a misdemeanor, and people can grow their own plants, so most cannabis is locally grown from plants and seeds imported from the Netherlands. Prague has become a popular destination for green-friendly tourists, who can often find providers at popular expat bars. The only black mark is all the cabbies, street sellers and train station con artists peddling fake cannabis. Prague, of course, is about more than smokin‘ weed and smokin‘ ladies. The Czech capital, barely damaged during World War II, once served as the capital of historic Bohemia. According to Guinness World Records, the 9th-century Prague Castle exceeds seven football fields in size as the world’s largest ancient castle. Mozart debuted his Don Giovanni opera at the Estates Theatre, which appears in the Oscar-winning film Amadeus, and Frank

Gehry fans will enjoy the Dancing House buildings originally known as Fred and Ginger. There is also the glorious 14th-century Charles Bridge, the Eiffel-cloning Petrin Lookout Tower and the Milo Rambaldi-like Astronomical Clock. Those with a taste for the bizarre should explore the works of famed Prague sculptor David Cerny, whose urinating mechanical statues are considered high art. Speaking of Cerny, those are his faceless baby sculptures crawling across the 700-foot Zizkov Television Tower. The sci-fi structure, which geekishly graces the cover of the Star Wars novel Lost Tribe of the Sith: Savior, features a Michelin-starred chef dishing out enigmatic fare like “roasted rolled neck of lamb on wine.” Those who roll like Romney will enjoy the tower’s sole hotel room, a five-star affair at 216 feet up. Among its many luxuries, the room features a horsehair-stuffed bed that has Rafalca wishing she showed better in Olympic dressage. Lastly, do not forget to try the country’s other bud: Budweiser beer. Igniting the granddaddy of all copyright disputes, Anheuser-Busch named its beer after Budweis, the Czech town that produces European Budweiser. Labeled Budvar or Czechvar in other countries, the Czech version would win every Bud Bowl ever, and it’s a choice local remedy for cottonmouth. c

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profiles in courage Patient:

Howard Hollenbeck

AGE: 32

Condition/ Illness:

Type 1 diabetes, bipolar, depression, panic attacks

Using medical cannabis since: 2010

Photos by Kristopher Christensen

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Are you an MMJ patient from NorCal with a compelling story to tell? If so, we want to hear from you. Email your name, contact information and details about your experiences with medical cannabis to courage@ireadculture.com.

Why did you start using medical cannabis? To calm my nerves and balance my mood swings. Did you try other methods or treatments before cannabis? Yes, many meds with horrible side effects. I have found a nice balance now with a good doctor who recommends medical cannabis as a combined treatment. What’s the most important issue or problem facing medical cannabis patients? In my opinion, public [outlook] and employment issues. What do you say to folks who are skeptical about cannabis as medicine? To most I know that are of the opinion that it’s just a way to get [high], I try to inform them that the amount of people taking prescription meds and are addicted [is] 100 times greater than [for] medical cannabis, and as far as I have read cannabis is not addictive. I know that to be true for me. I don’t crave it and can go weeks without using it if need be. c

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cool stuff Bedol Water Clock The phrase “just add water” takes on another dimension with the Bedol Water Clock. No electricity, no batteries—no problem! Just add tap water (replace it every six months or so) and you’ll be keeping perfect time. Available in green, charcoal, pink and purple. Now that’s being water wise! ($29.99) www.bedolwhatsnext.com

Sky Glass Z-7 The Jimmy It’s all about the journey not the destination, right? Fortunately for us, Sky Glass has just the thing to help us on our journey from debilitating pain to blissful relief. With the Z-7 The Jimmy—part of the company’s golden-hued Classic Sky line—you benefit from 15 years of experience in perfecting hand-blown glass, beautiful lines and that glass-on-glass touch that means so much to patients. (MSRP $64) www.sky-tubes.com

Bubble Bowls Interested in making your own concentrates? Bubble Bowls and its Dri-Shake System says it’s easy to do. Just place your plant material in the bowl, add dry ice, cover with the form-fitting lid, use a salad bowl as a catch basin and shake-shake-shake your way to golden glands through the 160-micron fused-in screen. Bowled over? ($59.95) bubblebowlkits.com

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Sandy Moriarty is the author of Aunt’ Sandy’s Medical Marijuana Cookbook: Comfort Food for Body & Mind and a Professor of Culinary Arts at Oaksterdam University. She is also the co-founder of Oaksterdam’s Bakery.

Menu: Despite its deeply religious roots, Saint Patrick’s Day, over the years has become a celebration of Irish culture, a celebration open to anyone and everyone—not just those with roots in the Emerald Isle. Since green has special significance to our community as well, CULTURE has cooked up this Irish-inspired menu that will surely get your eyes smiling.

By Aunt Sandy

Irish Corned Beef Melon Salad Chocolate Chess Pie

Melon Salad 3 tablespoons Cannabis Infused Oil 1 cantaloupe melon, 2 tablespoons peeled and seeded balsamic vinegar 1 honeydew melon, 3 tablespoons honey peeled and seeded 2 cups baby Bibb 3 tablespoons lime lettuce leaves, torn juice 2 cups arugula Makes four servings.

Cut melons into chunks. In a small bowl combine Cannabis Infused Oil, lime juice, balsamic vinegar and honey. Pour over melon and toss. Place lettuce and arugula on salad plates. Spoon the fruit mixture onto lettuce and drizzle dressing over top.

Chocolate Chess Pie

Makes six servings. 3 lbs. corned beef brisket 6 large potatoes, peeled and quartered 1 lb. carrots, peeled, halved and cut into sticks 1 head cabbage, cut into wedges 2 onions, quartered 12-ounce can of beer 1 bay leaf 1/4 cup Cannabis Infused Oil 1 tablespoon Canna Butter 3 cups water Rye bread, sliced Place corned beef in a slow cooker. Arrange vegetables around beef and add beer, bay leaf, Cannabis Infused Oil and water to cover. Cover and cook on high setting for four hours. Discard bay leaf. To serve, arrange vegetables on a large serving platter and garnish with a tablespoon of Canna Butter, salt and pepper to taste. Slice corned beef and arrange on platter. Serve with rye bread. 40 CULTURE • MARCH 2013

Makes six servings. 1/2 cup Canna Butter 1 1/2 1-ounce squares unsweetened baking chocolate, chopped 1 cup brown sugar, packed 1/2 cup sugar 2 eggs, beaten 1 tablespoon milk 1 teaspoon all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 9-inch refrigerated pie crust Whipped cream Melt Canna Butter and chocolate in a small saucepan over low heat and set aside. Combine sugars, eggs, milk, flour and vanilla in a medium bowl. Gradually add chocolate mixture, beating constantly. Fit pie crust into 9-inch pie plate according to package directions. Pour pie filling into crust and bake at 325 degrees for 45 minutes. Let cool before serving. Garnish with whipped cream. Legal Disclaimer

Publishers of this publication are not making any representations with respect to the safety or legality of the use of medical marijuana. The recipes listed here are for general entertainment purposes only, and are intended for use only where medical marijuana is not a violation of state law. Edibles can vary in potency while a consumers’ weight, metabolism and eating habits may affect effectiveness and safety. Ingredient management is important when cooking with cannabis for proper dosage. Please consume responsibly and check with your doctor before consumption to make sure that it is safe to do so.

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For our complete recipes go to ireadculture.com.

Irish Corned Beef


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entertainment reviews Mala Devendra Banhart Nonesuch Records

Most hipsters know the inspiring thin, wiry, acoustic folk sounds of Devendra Banhart, from his 2002 debut album, Oh Me Oh My; yet, here we are almost ten years later, and he is putting that album to shame with his new work in Mala, scheduled to release on March 12. Banhart’s recent albums have been more full-bodied than the first, with noticeably higher quality production. This record continues on that larger-sounding trajectory but still keeps to his analogue, lo-fi roots by tracking the album entirely on a vintage Tascam recorder. The new pieces feature dreamy, textural synth beds for Banhart’s mellow, reverb-laced guitars, vocals, and sparse percussion. Mala’s new experimentation seems to share influences with the recent sounds of John Frusciante and Grizzly Bear. A blending of classic, warm and earthy analogue sounds with contemporary electro-folk details; Mala shows Banhart’s continued development without damaging what made his music attractive and interesting in the first place. A great addition to the already impressive body of work of Banhart, and creates great anticipation for his future endeavors. (Simon Weedn)

The Ganja Kitchen Revolution: The Bible of Cannabis Cuisine By Jessica Catalano Green Candy Press Buy this for the photos—they’re that good. The Ganja Kitchen Revolution turns a canna-cookbook into gorgeous eye candy with its rich colors, sublime sharpness and visible textures that leap right off the proverbial page. Don’t believe me—check out the photo of East African Spice Pea Soup on page 142. Hungry yet? Chock full of clear, concise recipes and mouthwatering pix, one nice section that is particularly helpful is the Strain Flavor Profiles and Alternative Strains section. It lists strains (such as HeadBand or NYC Diesel), gives their genetics, spells out the flavor profile (a must-know for canna-cooks, right?) and provides alternative strains. So, for instance, you’re looking for Strawberry Cough (a sativa-dominant strain with notes of sweet strawberry and hints of rose petals), but just can’t find any at your local access point. No problem—Strawberry Skunk, Strawberry Haze or Chem Crème should do the trick. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous—that’s all I gotta say about this book. Gotta run—gonna make some of that Pea Soup. (Matt Tapia)

Weeds: The Final Season Lionsgate One of the most awkward things to do is to come into a show late in the game, and reviewing the last season of Weeds without seeing the rest of it is no exception. I consistently had to background check the characters and info to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. But inexperience aside, I was pleasantly surprised to find that this was a genuinely funny, entertaining and heartfelt show. When the humor is there, it comes at a rapid fire pace that’s truly enjoyable. Some of the drama is incredibly awkward and the situations come across as a beyond preposterous (all the affairs and drama verge on soap opera levels), but leads like Mary Louise Parker and Hunter Parrish give strong enough performances that it can mostly be forgiven. The special features are fun diversions (especially the live session with Guru Doug) that are a good bonus for the fans. Newbies like me should go back to Season 1 for the full picture, but it’s not a bad rental for fans who have stuck with the show this long. (Joe Martone)

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Imagine Dragons in concert There was a time when Imagine Dragons was just another sensitive indie band from Las Vegas (read: Panic! At the Disco, The Killers, et. al.) with big dreams. “There is something deeply personal and yet incredibly exciting about sharing new songs with a live audience for the first time,” lead vocalist Dan Reynolds told Billboard last year. “We can’t wait to have that communal experience.” Well, if this “communal experience” can co-exist peacefully with Billboard success, then Imagine Dragons is well on its way to reaching those big dreams. Within months of releasing the band’s highly praised single “It’s Time,” the group went from MTV PUSH Artist of the Week to being nominated for an MTV Video Music Award for “Best Rock Video” to having the aforementioned track certified platinum. Considering the band’s phenomenal track record of success so far, it’s clear that 2013 will be just as fruitful for Imagine Dragons—it should be as the band’s North American tour is in danger of selling out. While you wait for this local show (which has Atlas Genius and Nico Vega providing support), check out the new video for “Demons.” Speaking of Las Vegas bands, say, whatever happened to The Killers . . . ?

IF YOU GO

What: Imagine Dragons in concert. When/Where: March 16 at The Warfield, 982 Market St., San Francisco. Info: Tickets $25-$27. Go to thewarfieldtheatre.com.

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let’s do this Our picks for the coolest things to do around town San Francisco International Ocean Film Festival, March 7-10

Fifty films about five oceans can only mean one thing . . . one great film festival! Marvel at the awesome sights and sounds of the world’s biggest and baddest bodies of water. The Bay Theater at Pier 39, San Francisco www.oceanfilmfest.org

Flogging Molly, March 9

Is there any better way to get ready to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day than with Flogging Molly? Not that I can think of. The Celticpunk legends are bringing the sounds of the Emerald Isle to life. The Fox, Oakland www.thefoxoakland.com

Blank Club 10 Year Anniversary Party, March 16

The 10 year celebration will kick off unlike any other because the PBR’s are on the house from 7-9! The drinks may not flow for free all night, but DJ Basura, DJ Fuchsia, Greta Clue and more will make sure to keep the tunes flowing freely. Blank Club, San Jose www.theblankclub.com

Body Art Expo, March 22-24

Over 300 of the world’s best tattoo artists and piercers will be showing and creating new works of art. Other attractions include a human suspension and a “hot ass contest.” Cow Palace, Daly City www.cowpalace.com

The Specials, March 23

Classic good rocking ska with a cause, that’s The Specials. It’ll turn this “Ghost Town” into a black-and-white 2 Tone show. The Warfield, San Francisco www.thewarfieldtheatre.com

San Jose Challenge 2013: The Ultimate Urban Scavenger Race, March 24

You’ll need more than speed to win this Amazing Race-style competition as you strategize and solve tricky clues to get to the end. All participants are invited to unwind at the afterparty. Gordon Biersch, San Jose www.challengenation.com

Playing with Fire: Artists of the California Studio Glass Movement, thru March 24

The fire has been stoked and red-hot creations were made. Check out the amazing glass works representing 22 of the finest artists to ever work with glass. Oakland Museum of California, Oakland www.museumca.org 44 CULTURE • MARCH 2013

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Chuck Shepherd

News of the

Weird LEAD STORY—ONE FOR THE ROAD

; Cliche Come to Life: The Kerry, Ireland, county council voted in January to let some people drive drunk. The councillors reasoned that in the county’s isolated regions, some seniors live alone and need the camaraderie of the pub, but fear a DUI arrest on the way home. The councillors thus empowered police to issue DUI permits to those targeted drivers. Besides, reasoned the councillors,

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the area is so sparsely populated that such drivers never encounter anyone else on the road at night. (The councillors’ beneficence might also have been influenced, reported BBC News, by the fact that “several” of the five voting “yea” own pubs.)

CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE

; Spare the Waterboard, Spoil the Child: William Province, 42, was arrested in Jefferson County, Mont., in December and charged

with waterboarding four boys, two of whom were his own sons, at his home in December. (Also in January, Kirill Bartashevitch, 52, was charged with making “terroristic” threats to his high-schoolage daughter after he allegedly pointed his new AK-47 at her because her report card showed 2 B’s instead of all A’s. He said he had recently purchased the gun because he feared that President Obama intended to ban them.) ; Emma Whittington, of Hutchinson, Kan., rushed her daughter to the ER in December when the girl, 7 months old, developed a golfball-sized lump on her neck. Two days later, at a hospital in Wichita, a doctor gently pulled a feather out of the lump and hypothesized that it had been in the midst of emerging from her throat. Doctors said the girl probably swallowed the feather accidentally, that it got stuck in throat tissue, and that her body was trying to eject it through the skin.

; As if 9/11 and the resultant air travel restrictions had never happened, travelers for some reason continue to keep Transportation Security Administration agents busy at passengers’ carry-on bag searches. From a TSA weekly summary of confiscations in January: 33 handguns, eight stun guns and a serrated wire garrote. Among highlights from 2012: a live 40mm grenade, a live blasting cap, “seal bombs” and six pounds of black power (with detonation cords and a timing fuse). ; A man with admittedly limited English skills went to a courthouse in Springfield, Mass., in December to address a traffic ticket, but somehow wound up on a jury trying Donald Campbell on two counts of assault. Officials said the man simply got in the wrong line and followed jurors into a room while the real sixth juror had mistakenly gone to another room. The jury, including the accidental juror, found Campbell guilty, but

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he was awarded a new trial when the mistake was discovered.

THE REDNECK CHRONICLES (TENNESSEE EDITION)

; (1) Timothy Crabtree, 45, of Rogersville, was arrested in October and charged with stabbing his son, Brandon, 21, in an argument over who would get the last beer in the house. (2) Tricia Moody, 26, was charged with DUI in Knoxville in January after a 10-minute police chase. The officer’s report noted that Moody was still holding a cup of beer and apparently had not spilled any during the chase. (3) Jerry Poe, 62, was charged in a road-rage incident in Clinton on Black Friday after firing his handgun at a driver in front of him “to scare her into moving” faster, he said. (Poe said he had started at midnight at one Wal-Mart, waited in line unsuccessfully for five hours for a sale-priced stereo, and was on his way to another Wal-Mart.

SOUNDS LIKE A JOKE

; Twin brothers Aric Hale and Sean Hale, 28, were both arrested

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on New Year’s Eve in Manchester, Conn., after fighting each other at a hotel and later at a residence. Police said a 27-year-old woman was openly dating the two men, and that Sean thought it was his turn and asked Aric for privacy. Aric begged to differ about whose turn it was.

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

; Voted in December as vice presidents of the U.N. Human Rights Council for 2013 were the nations of Mauritania and the Maldives, both of which permit the death penalty for renouncing Islam. In Mauritania, a person so charged has three days to repent for a lesser sentence. (An August 2012 dispatch in London’s The Guardian reported widespread acceptance of slavery conditions in Mauritania, affecting as many as 800,000 of the 3.5 million population. Said one abolitionist leader, “Today we have the slavery (that) American plantation owners dreamed of (in that the slaves) believe their condition is necessary to get to paradise.”)

; Non-medical employees of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center have been campaigning for union representation, suggesting that their current wages leave many workers dangerously close to poverty. Though raises have not materialized, UPMC (according to a November Pittsburgh City Paper report) has now shown sympathy for its employees’ sad plight. In a November UPMC newsletter, it announced that it was setting up “UPMC Cares” food banks. Employees (presumably the betterpaid ones) are urged to “donate nonperishable food items to stock employee food pantries that will established on both (UPMC campuse).” One astonished worker’s response: “I started to cry.” ; In December, the St. Louis PostDispatch revealed, through a public records check, that the appointed Collector of Revenue for St. Louis County has failed since 2008 to pay personal property taxes. Stacy Bailey and her husband owe taxes on three cars and in fact filed for bankruptcy in 2011. Bailey’s boss, Director of Revenue Eugene Leung,

told the Dispatch that he had checked Bailey’s real-estate tax status but not personal property taxes. Nonetheless, he said, “Knowing what I know now, she’s still the most qualified person for the job,” among the 155 applicants.

PERSPECTIVE

; First-World Problems: Before “cellulite” appeared in popular culture around 1972, almost no one believed the condition especially remarkable, wrote London’s The Guardian in December. Similarly, the new concern about “wobbly” arms—flesh dangling loosely when a woman’s arm is raised horizontally—seems entirely made-up. However, Marks & Spencer and other upscale British retailers now sell “arm corsets” to fashionably hold the skin tighter for sleeveless tops. Wrote the Guardian columnist, “I wish I didn’t know that my arms weren’t meant to wobble. I’d be happier.”

PEOPLE DIFFERENT FROM US

; Julie Griffiths, 43, of NewcastleUnder-Lyme, England, received

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her first Anti-Social Behavior Order in 1999 for too loudly berating her husband, Norman (who one neighbor told the Daily Telegraph is “the sweetest man you could ever meet”). After many complaints (from neighbors, never from Norman), Griffiths was fined the equivalent of about $700 in 2010 and vowed to be quieter. The complaints hardly slowed, and in July 2012, environmentalhealth officials installed monitoring equipment next door and caught Griffiths venting at Norman 47 times in three months. However, the Stoke-on-Trent Magistrates Court merely issued a new, five-year ASBO.

READERS’ CHOICE

; (1) Recently, a 67-year-old woman set out to drive to a train station in Brussels, Belgium, 38 miles from her home to pick up a friend, but her GPS was broken, and she wound up three countries away, in Zagreb, Croatia, before she sought help. Drivers older than her have been similarly lost, but not to the extent of crossing five borders and passing road

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signs in three languages while traveling 900 miles. (She said only that she was “distracted.”) (2) In January, a 68-year-old Florida man got out of a van to open a garage door so that his friend could back in, but he left the van door open, and the driver’s dog leaped excitedly into the vehicle and landed on the gas pedal. The man was fatally crushed against the garage door.

CRAZY KIDS

; An estimated 3.2 million kids aged 5 to 12 take mixed-martial arts classes, training to administer beatdowns modeled after the adults’ Ultimate Fighting Championships, according to a January report in ESPN magazine, which profiled the swaggering, Mohawked Derek “Crazy” Rayfield, 11, and the meek, doll-clutching fighting machine, Regina “The Black Widow” Awana, 7. Kids under age 12 fight each other without regard to gender, and blows above the collarbone are always prohibited (along with attacks on the groin, kidneys and back). “Crazy” was described

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delivering merciless forearm chest smashes to a foe before the referee intervened, and the Black Widow won her match in less than a minute via arm-bar submission. Parental involvement appears to be of two types: either fear of their child’s getting hurt or encouragement to be meaner.

THE CONTINUING CRISIS

; Breaking Bad (and Quickly!): Tyrone Harris, 26, reported for his first shift at Dunkin’ Donuts in Morristown, N.J., in January and received his name tag. Seven minutes later, according to police, he was on his way out the door with $2,100 from his supervisor’s desk. (Apparently, the supervisor had opened his drawer a little too far when reaching for the name tag, giving Harris a glimpse of the cash.) ; In a January submission to India’s Supreme Court, an association of the country’s caste councils begged for greater sympathy for men who commit “honor killings” of wayward females. The councils denied encouraging such killings,

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but emphasized that fathers or brothers who murder a daughter or sister are usually “law-abiding, educated and respectable people” who must protect their reputations after a female has had a “forbidden” relationship—especially a female who intends to marry within her sub-caste, which the councils believe leads to deformed babies. ; Aubrey Ireland, 21, a dean’s-list senior at the University of Cincinnati’s prestigious college of music, went to court in December to protect herself from two stalkers—her mother and father, who, she said, had been paranoiacally meddling in her life. David and Julie Ireland put tracking devices on Aubrey’s computer and telephone and showed up unannounced on campus (600 miles from their home), telling officials that Aubrey was promiscuous and mentally imbalanced. A Common Pleas Court judge ordered the parents to keep their distance. ; Dog trainer Mark Vette showed off his best work in Auckland, New Zealand, in December: dogs

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driving a Cooper Mini on a closed course. Using knobs fitted to the dogs’ reach, Vette taught mixedbreed rescue dogs “Monty” and “Porter” 10 discrete actions, including handling the starter, steering wheel, gearshift, and brake and gas pedals, and then put them behind the wheel on live television. Monty handled the straightaway flawlessly, but Porter, assigned to steer around a bend, ran off the road.

BRIGHT IDEAS

; Stress Relief for Students: (1) In November, students at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, ordered three therapy dogs and set up a room for “super stressed” final-exam studiers. The dogs typically are loaned to hospital patients and senior citizens. (2) In December, Cornell University staff installed a patch of grass inside the Olin Library (trucked in from the Adirondack mountains) because, said an employee, the sight of it has a “cognitive relaxing effect.” ; Jorge Sanchez, 35, was arrested in Burbank, Calif., in February after walking into a Costco

store, brazenly stuffing 24 quart cans of motor oil under his clothing (some affixed with bungee cords), and heading for the exit. A security guard noticed him, but Sanchez fled and actually outran the guard (though some of his cargo came loose). Still carrying 15 cans, he made it eight blocks before police overtook him. Sanchez said he services cars part-time and that motor oil prices were just too high.

THE ARISTOCRATS!

; Gregory Bruni, 21, was arrested in North Fort Myers, Fla., in January after allegedly breaking into a residence at about 7 p.m. (first scurrying across the roof and jumping on one resident who came to investigate). According to police, Bruni was naked, ran maniacally around screaming in gibberish, failed to be intimidated when the female resident fired three “warning shots” with a handgun, fell to the floor after the third shot and began masturbating, and defecated near the front door and in a hallway. Police soon arrived and Tasered him.

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