of people of color. by people of color.
Works/Words From: Jesus Hilario-Reyes Joseph Jordan-Johnson Ariana Zhang Joey Scher Sophia Guadalupe Padgett-Perez Flor Marmalejo Marissa De La Cerda Ugo Okere Curated by: Tammy Chen Wayne P. Tate Jr. edited by:
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imani diltz joseph jordan-johnson
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Thank you so much to everyone that has contributed, influenced, read, and learned. Being people of color have brought us together as we continue to move forward and make spaces for ourselves. -T if we wanted to. people of color could burn the world down. for what we have experienced. are experiencing. but we don’t. how stunningly beautiful that our sacred respect for the earth. for life. is deeper than our rage
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-Nayyirah Waheed
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IN THIS ZINE Content Warnings for: food, nudity, racism, racial trauma, mentions of drugs and sex, mentions of bugs, mental illness, mention of unreality, mentions of religion, family, discourse about American nationalism/ patriotism, mention of immigration, mention of slavery.
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to highlight the lives of people of color: this is a zine of people of color, curated and put together by people of color. this zine is an occupation of space, a declaration of the right to exist and make and thrive and survive. this zine is made to be all encompassing, inclusive, welcoming, accepting, loving. we live in a world where our characters are whitewashed, our opinions are overshadowed by the lingering grasp of the cisgender white man, our narratives are fabricated, and a voice and face of a person of color lingers between fear of the repercussions of our existence and pride and the desire to take up space. this is a zine of people of color, with the means to create and share and speak, to build community, to celebrate community, to declare space, memorialize our creativity, and educate and be educated. this is that space where that uncomfortability of being entrapped turns into a celebration, a cry of survivalists, into something beautiful.
of people of color. by people of color. -W
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this sole purpose of this space is not to necessarily educate people (of color and white) about the crossroads of identity (though this space is welcome to that). this sole purpose of this space is to open up an opportunity to share and to provide a platform for people of color (artists and non-artists alike) to share their thoughts, ideas, creations, works of art, experiences, etc.
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JOEY SCHER SCHER JOEY
she/her :~) hapa (chinese, filipina, russian, polish) :~) really funny I, Joey Scher, am a true academic who loves film, hip-hop, food, jokes, and dogs. Always stressed out, but still smiling! :^)
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Check me out at joeyscher.com !!!
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DEMYSTIFYING THE HAPA GIRL’S MANTRA THROUGH RARE FOUND FOOTAGE (2016) Video
I am (supposedly) a white passing, hapa girl. I have lost what some may perceive as phenotypically Asian over the years so I made this piece out of home and thrift store footage to create a video artifact that is supposed to decode a hapa girl’s motto. You (being the YouTube archaeologist) dig up/stumble upon “Demystifying The Hapa Girl’s Mantra Through Rare Found Footage” and get some long anticipated answers... ;~)
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR8tUPbT8_Q
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Untitled (RSVP)
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Fibers Installation (Yarn, arepas, salt, cheesecake, Twinkies) (2016)
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“Drawing from the two sides of my family, American and Venezuelan, I hand weaved a small unity blanket with the colors of the two flags to represent a shared meal between my two cultures and two families that would not typically happen. In the center of the blanket are American and Venezuelan foods that have been crystallized along with the center of the blanket where the two cultures blend to represent inaccessibility. The blanket is hung in such a way that emphasizes this inaccessibility, the tension that comes with the two cultures, and to visualize the weight of the center and blending. Each side is nailed to the wall to symbolize the harsh stagnant nature to be apart each culture posses, and the Venezuelan side’s strings are much longer to allude to my longing, and impossibility to be with them as much as my American Family.”
SOPHIAGUADALUPE GUADALUPE SOPHIA PADGETT PEREZ PEREZ PADGETT 19// she/her // Mestiza (Venezuelan, White) // Miami Mango Mami
“I am a mixed Venezuelan and White art student and I’m currently in the crossroads of what I think my dreams and goals are, so I think I’m really just trying to create work that reflects who I am and hopefully find common connections with others who relate to me. I am primarily interested in my two cultures blending in my life, Latin American Government and activism, and mental health.”
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cargocollective.com/sophiapadgettperez
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JOSEPH JORDAN 19 // he/they // stay at home mom (to myself)
ANONYMOUS LATINO an xtube visual analysis two angles:
the body of a boy covered in his own shirt left side facing the camera
staring into the one moving
caverns of & of the other is silent.
i imagine my face after pressed into the carpet mauved skin from nylon & mouth
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i don’t need to hear the door slam shoes shuffled in the foyer shag’s matted tongue to know when you reach the top of the stairs your warmth precedes you
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He is inside of me and i feel his hips as the twisting of a knob opening wide into rooms with gray names who is he without my body who will he be here to make the visual of a man
JOHNSON knighting black mostly quiet moans barely making it before realizing
bones or no name to the top i know
none barely there of & on no face of his
he is all ass unbared to the open bedroom less body more receptacle what is an orgasm without looking into my face seeing ruin boy toiled and fed where are you going? you were so wet before me please face the camera and tell them you enjoyed it
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Joseph is a fat black queer freelance visual artist and writer from Chicago. Their work has been featured in Crest, Nepantla, Blacklight and Jackalope. They’ve earned a Gold Key from Scholastic Art & Writing Awards and Second Place in the Glazner Creative Writing Competition sponsored by Santa Fe University of Art and Design. You can hang & listen to their pitfalls on Twitter @authenthicc.
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MARISSA DE DE LA LA MARISSA She/Her/Hers, Student, 18.
I am a cinephile with a sarcastic attitude and a deep abiding love for pugs. I am also a student at DePaul University double majoring in Journalism and Media and Cinema Studies. I aspire to be a print journalist who’s pieces span many topics, though I do intend on focusing on entertainment and cinema. Additionally, I aspire to be a screenwriter and create several films, short and feature, showing the world through the lens of someone other than a man’s. My instagram is @marndel.
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Mental Wounds of Love
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Growing up little girls are told that when a boy hits them or is mean to them it is because they like them or are doing it out of love. Even in high school that remains the norm. Well, is this true? Does he like her? Before you answer, I want you to consider this: my boyfriend, Jared, mentally abused and sexually harassed me and most likely would have done more had I not put a stop to it. I had been led to believe that he valued me as a human being and that he’d never hurt me. I had let him and my mother plant ideas in my head that I was pushing him away because I was afraid of abandonment and getting hurt due to the neglect I received from my father. So in an effort to prove that I was not a closed off product of daddy issues, I let him in. And I let him stay for a while.
CERDA CERDA Sometimes I believed that the years of neglect I received from my father made me incapable of loving anyone, but what they really did was make me incapable of deciphering love from control. I accepted any form of love I could get and in doing so, lost a sense of who I was and was forced to believe that I was somebody else’s. Jared chased me like a stockbroker chases money, greedy and clumsily. He was 4 years my senior, tall, with black pepper eyes. He was the smell of cigarettes that I grew to love so much, spiked cherry coke, and late summer days. He always listened to my ideas, rants, and dreams and made me feel like I was invincible, that is until I entered my senior year of high school and he grew wary of my male friendships and desire to pursue a career that he deemed unfit for someone who wanted to eventually be a mother.
I decided to ignore his temper because everything else was going well. He began to come around my family more. He’d drink with my brother, talk politics with my father, and watch novellas with my mother. This was something I treasured; after all, who doesn’t want to see their boyfriend get along with their family? Eventually, he began spending every weekend at
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There were dozens of disputes about my career path and my dedication to making a name for myself. Jared’s argument was always the same; “A woman should be the boat, sturdy and holding the family, while the man is the oar rowing them towards a different and safer current.” I would always argue and defend myself, but a couple months into dating, he began to develop a violent temper. He’d yell and curse and threaten to hurt someone, if not himself, when I disagreed.
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my house, sleeping on my couch, eating my food, and making me feel smothered. When I wasn’t home, he was there with a member of my family waiting for me.
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I remember one night I got home from seeing a movie and there he was, piss drunk and giggly with my brother. He was slurring and could not stand straight. We laid him down on the couch and he went to bed. Later that night, I heard footsteps outside of my door. I remember the floor creaking with every step that he took and the doorknob turning very slowly. That, on top of the noise of the ticking clock made my heart stand still. The door quietly opened and Jared walked over to my bed. He began to sniff my hair and kiss my cheeks. I asked if he was alright to which he responded, “Just fine, baby. I just think it’s time.” Jared and I had decided months before to wait to have sex. We mutually agreed that it needed to feel right but that night did not feel right at all. He was drunk and consent was not audible from either of us. I iterated that he was not in the right mindset nor was it the right time for us to have sex. He jumped on top of me, disregarding everything that I had said, and began kissing the nape of my neck. I squirmed under him and begged him to get off. He grabbed my arms with one hand and whispered “It’s me. I’m yours and you are mine” and began kissing me all over. I managed to get out from under him and he finally surrendered and walked out.
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I do not think I fell asleep after that and if I did, it was for a very short time. I walked out of my room the next morning, tired and afraid to face him. He had planted seeds in my head that I was afraid to open up to anyone. I began to think: was he right? Was I prude? Was I wrong for not having sex with him? What would his friends think of me? What would my friends think of me? He awoke and acted like nothing had happened. I was relieved yet afraid; would he do it again?
Days later he did and the routine continued for months, but I refused to leave because I felt that without him I was no one. We had grown so comfortable with seeing each other everyday that I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from him for more than 24 hours. I knew he had a hold on me. I didn’t know who I was outside of the relationship.
A week had passed and Jared was at my house, uninvited, yet again. This time I decided to partake in his drunken binge to blow off some steam. That night I was openly rude to him and he threw drinks in his face as my mother walked in. He ran down the block fuming with anger. My mother pulled me closer to her and began to yell at me for being disrespectful. I disclosed my feelings of discomfort to her once more but to no
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The last time it happened he kept saying that I refused to do it because I was afraid to love and let anyone in and when I said my fear had nothing to do with it, he pushed me into a wall and began yelling at me. He put me down for all that I was, for all my dreams, for having male friends, and trying to live my own life. I quickly ran out of his house and went home. I ran into my mother’s room, tears running down my face, and told her everything. I told her about my fear of Jared hurting me, of his control, of his power over me. I disclosed all of these feelings to her and her response shook me even more. She said, “Don’t accuse him of something that he would never do. He loves you and is only trying to get closer to you.” She also backed up her response with the same excuse that has haunted me my entire life – my father’s absence. My own mother had silenced my cries because she believed the man and reason that troubled her love life was also troubling mine. And most importantly, she was following the saying that I had heard my entire childhood – he hurt you because he likes you.
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avail. She slapped me across my face and accused me of lying. “Don’t you see? He likes you! He just wants to love you.” I ran to my room and entered a terrible crying spell. I felt trapped and like I was going to die in that relationship, but I knew I needed to do something. The next morning, I built up the courage to tell my other family members about Jared and they all took my side. I broke up with him and haven’t seen him since. I think he got the message right away and I am so thankful that he has not come back but for months I felt broken. I felt like a huge part of me had been ripped out. Though he was dangerous and really hurt me, I cared for his safety and well being. I couldn’t find it in me to hate him. We had spent months building our relationship. I became used to his company and conversation and having it cut off completely was a shock. What hurt me the most was the fact that my mother chose his side over my safety and sanity. Our relationship was nonexistent for weeks. When we spoke we argued and when we argued, I cried.
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But now, I am whole. I refuse to succumb to the loneliness and sadness that I felt. For so long, I felt silenced by my boyfriend and mother. But the strength in me that was hidden under fear and anxiety, have given me a reason to speak out.
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I consider myself lucky. I have a supportive family and though my mother made a mistake in not supporting me initially, has since apologized and transformed her way of viewing relationships and me. I have fallen in love with life and most importantly with myself. I am a light after succumbing to months of darkness, a writer with a story that needed to be told. I am my own person after months of being fooled into thinking I was somebody else’s. I am the oar and the boat, holding all the feats of my life and rowing myself into a different current.
So imagine your daughter, niece, sister, or friend being mentally abused or sexually assaulted by a boy. Imagine her being silenced by those that she confides in. Imagine her fear. Now tell me, does he like her? - Marissa De La Cerda
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My piece titled “Mental Wounds of Love” is a semi-autobiographical recount of the mental abuse in relationships. I say semiautobiographical because not all of it holds true to my relationships or personal experiences but holds true within our society. The story and the relationship between the mother and daughter specifically, are a testament to the way our society fails the survivors and victims of abuse, whether it be mental, physical, or sexual.
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JESúS HILARIO He/They // Afro-Latinx //Artist //19
Jesús Hilario-Reyes (born 1996, San Juan, Puerto Rico) is an Afro-Latinx artist currently pursuing his BFA at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. “We are not fighting for integration, nor are we fighting for separation. We are fighting for recognition as human beings.” ~Malcolm X
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My performance work is about the cultural significance/space that the black body occupies. It seeks to discuss the systematic and societal institutions that interact with my oppressed identities. Through protest and activism my performances narrate complex societal stigmas, that stem from post-colonial trauma. I like to view my performances as a series of academic protests, that happen within and outside of the gallery space.My 2D/sculpture work seeks to discuss the representation of the patriotic essence of being Latinx. I’m particularly interested in the ritualistic culture of being afro-latinx and how patriotism and colonial ideals converse with my identity through internalized actions and social interactions.
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REYES
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Performance 2016 Black of Concrete King of the Salty “Is being black being outspoken” This performance seeks to merge the narrative of roman crucifixion with policing and slaying of black bodies specifically in America. Thus questioning whether the black body is inherently ‘salty’ or guilty, in relation to being against the institution/societal norm (reasons for roman crucifixion).
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Then coming into the frame is the mention of the outspoken Back or the activist, and how they represent in unapologetic manners the black identity. Thus connoting a that the Outspoken Black is naturally against the institution/societal norms.
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ARIANA ZHANG ZHANG ARIANA She/her // Chinese Asian-American // 19
“I never learned the pledge of allegiance” is a poetic reflection of my mental and physical state throughout the creation of a 3D/fibers piece. The piece, entitled “Removal and Erasure,” features the text from a real flyer from 1882 promoting the Chinese Exclusion Act cut out of an 8’x5’ American flag. I crafted the piece with 20 consecutive hours of hand labor, using that time to reflect upon the history of abuse upon Asian bodies in America, the brutal labor of the immigrant experience, and the erasure of Asian stories from American history.
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Ariana is a writer, a visual artist, a performing artist, and a small, angry Asian American woman whose voice reaches volumes beyond the limitations that western society has imposed upon her body. She is currently studying as a performing artist and creator at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in Los Angeles, California, in hopes of increasing visibility of Asian bodies and stories in mainstream media. You can find her constantly making art, jokes, and things “a race issue” on Instagram (@arianatzhang) and Twitter (@ArianaZhang). Always open and excited to have conversations with strangers, please feel free to contact with any thoughts, questions, or just to have a nice chat - you can also find her on Facebook as Ariana Zhang.
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I never learned the pledge of allegiance America My country ‘tis of thee I was born into the land of the free And the home of the brave A place where they say I should succeed and exceed and indeed be able to Overcome anything that should choose to make the mistake of impeding my dreams For in America, anything is possible With hard work As long as you salute to the flag Put your hand on your heart and Always be loyal to your country They tell me this is the land of the free And I almost believed it because until recently I couldn’t see The bodies of all the Chinamen hanging from the tree Planted in American soil Fertilized with the rotten Forgotten Corpses of my country’s past There grows a knot in my stomach Every time I think about the home of the brave • pre-release
And for every body of a chink
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Dead at the hands of patriots Protecting their country
Protecting Protecting No – Objecting To the potential fall of a white supreme America – For every body of a chink Dead at the hands of patriots I make a cut into the American flag. Eighteen for the Chinese Massacre of 1871 Nineteen for the Chinese Theatre Tragedy Twenty-eight for the Rock Springs Massacre One hundred and fifty-three for each of the anti-Chinese riots that occurred between 1870 and 1880 And two hundred for each of the lynchings during that same time 31 for the Snake River Massacre And for good measure, one cut for each of the twenty thousand pounds of bones dug up from shallow graves along the transcontinental railroad For those who came before me I cut into the nylon American flag Which was made in China And I think about the worker who made this by hand Enslaved by my country’s excessive demand to Produce Produce As I kneel on the concrete
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Produce
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And press my blade through the synthetic fibers of the fabric And the unsympathetic fibers of my home country I finally make a mark I’ve finally made a mark My hands start to bleed I’ve lost a fingertip but my identity is more intact than ever My back is hunched My neck is crooked and I wonder if this is how my grandmother feels Crippled by the burden of fighting against erasure I cut for twenty hours And the holes in the flag read: “HIP! HURRAH! CHINESE EXCLUDED The Democratic Chinese Exclusion Bill Has been signed by OUR DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT Hip! Hurrah! The White Man is on Top. Let every DEMOCRAT and all other GOOD Citizens turn out and Ratify this DEMOCRATIC MEASURE At the
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HORTON HOUSE PLAZA
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To-Night
Speeches will be made by Leading Democratic Orators COME OUT AND RATIFY!
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NO MORE CHINESE!”
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UGO OKERE He/him // Student // 20
Ugo is currently studying political science at Loyola University. We are very grateful that he has given us the ok to include some his his writings. He is one of the most well-informed, considerate, and intelligent political minds I have yet to meet and is doing an immensely amazing job at bringing change and awareness not just to the Loyola student body but beyond. - T
In regards to changing Loyola's curriculum and further acknowledging histories and cultures of people other than European decent. "Hi everybody,
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Amazing news.
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I have just left a meeting with Dr. Slavsky, Chris Manning )President's Diversity Advisor), Jobeth D'Agostino, Dr. Bucholz (History Department Chair), Dr. Dosset, and the lovely SGLC's Jace Shue and Katie Philbrick as student reps from Academic Affairs about the diversification of the core curriculum.
These are our three goals 1. Add 2 more culturally diverse historical survey classes to the Tier 1 Historical Knowledge curriculum 2. Make a consistent and conscious effort to fill and provide more culturally diverse Tier 2 classes. 3. Expand the non-Christian class sections for Theology Tier 2, Buddhism and Judaism specifically. Because we had the history department in the room, we were discussing the #1 and #1. We have proposed this: Taking American Pluralism and Global History from Tier 2 and adding it to the Tier 1 core. the point of this is to no longer allow for the struggles of people of color to be overshadowed by the dichotomy of elective vs. core and whose history belongs where. Let me quell your concerns, I have been briefed on the topics that are covered in those classes. I have stressed that the students will not settle for classes that, while in title seem diverse, but in content are not.
Global History at a glance covers “Among the topics considered are the expansion and intensification of cross-cultural interaction, especially trade; the appearance, expansion, and decline of large empires together with associated phenomena such as imperialism, colonialism, and nationalism; the spread of information, knowledge, and technology and their role in the development of such institutions and ideas as science, capitalism, industrialism, and popular sovereignty; and the struggles for justice in all arenas of life including race and ethnicity, gender, and socio-economic status.�
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American pluralism at a glance covers the "development and structure of the United States as a pluralistic and multiracial society from 1609 to the present." And explores "slavery and racism in American society, immigration and ethnicity, and religious diversity and intolerance."
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Of course we must go deeper than simple course descriptions. That is why I will be setting up a meeting with representatives from organizations of color such as SDMA, STARS, LUCES, BCC, Q (summit members?) and others to discuss how they feel about this particular push to diversify the core as well as discuss the syllabi and their recommendations for them. In the meantime, Dr. Bucholz, the chair of History, and Chris Manning )who is actually really receptive and excited about this change) will motion at the next Chairs meeting about the movement of those classes to tier 1. The predictions of the faculty members are these changes can be made by earliest FALL of ‘17! On the topic of #2, we are considering adding a diversity requirement in Tier 2 options of Historical core. We have also thought to begin a campaign to get students knowledgeable of classes that are offered at the undergraduate level in the history department. To those of you wondering about the Theology department, don’t worry. They’re next.
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Again, I want to stress the fact that the administration and faculty department chairs are all on board with this and are excited to see students engaged with this. I am extremely thankful to Jace and Katie for taking their time out of their schedules to sit with me in theses meetings. Your opinions are invaluable. There is a lot more work to be done, but this is a win everyone. A YUGE win.
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I also want to thank you for your support, your suggestions, your comments and everything in between that helps me help you. If you want to sit in on any upcoming meetings, ask me any questions or anything of the sort, please stop and ask me. I would love to have the conversation with you. In Solidarity, Ugo�
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March 22, 2016
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FLOR MARMOLEJO MARMOLEJO FLOR They/them // Chicanx // 19 // Film Student My name is Flor Maria Marmolejo, Chicanx, I’m 19 and I study film and media studies. I find it very rewarding and easy to make art/collages that center around non-white aspects. For my collages I had to resort to using old magazines with tons of white people in them, but I was very inclined nonetheless to work around that and harmonize aspects that revolve around poc and incorporate them into something visually interesting to me.
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I love art and am overflowing with feelings always.
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CW: mention of racial violence, name of victims of hate crimes
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“Solidarity is not the same as support. To experience solidarity, we must have a community of interests, shared beliefs and goals around which to unite, to build Sisterhood. Support can be occasional. It can be given and just as easily withdrawn. Solidarity requires sustained, ongoing commitment.� - Bell Hooks
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Though we created this in attempts to bring a positive space, we cannot ignore the countless black lives that have been lost to violence. As I am writing this, the unjustified murders of Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, as well as the year anniversary of the passing of Sandra Bland while she was in police custody, are still fresh in our memories. There is unfortunately life-threatening racism especially prominent in the US. There is the terrifying reality that known racist and rapist Trump is running for president. Neonazis are literally stabbing people in broad daylight. 16 year old Gynnya McMillen, who never should have been incarcerated in the first place, just 14 hours later was found dead in a holding cell. As non-black POC, we have to understand that we will never experience what they have to on a daily basis. To allow actions of racists, transphobes, queerphobes, ableists, misogynists, etc. to go on is giving an ok for them to continue creating dangerous atmospheres. We can stand in solidarity and call out anti-blackness in our communities as we already have started, but never attempt to lessen their experience or speak over them. This is a thank you to our black siblings. A lot of what we are able to do, why we have rights, are able to make art, make music, stay alive is because of them. We had the idea of this zine as a space for POC writers, painters, performers, photographers, etc. to show their work. In times like this, what it can offer is a space for learning, healing, and camaraderie.
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” - Desmond Tutu Say her name. Say his name. Don’t ever forget the struggles black people have been through and are still going through. Love and rage for all survivors.
#BLACKLIVESMATTER
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-T
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