March 17, 2020 — Geist by Current Publishing

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

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City of Lawrence to approach council regarding new fire station

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Richardt project begins / P3

Council approves town center plan / P5

Football coach selected / P10

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March 17, 2020

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Vietnam War commemoration set – The U.S. Army Financial Management Command, in conjunction with the U.S. Army Reserve’s 310th Expeditionary Sustainment Command, is conducting a Vietnam War Veterans Day Commemoration at 11 a.m. March 27 at the 310th ESC headquarters, 9851 E. 59th St. and will feature stories from Vietnam War veterans, a military brass quintet, a missing man ceremony and special recognition for all Vietnam War veterans in attendance. Vietnam War veterans and the spouses of deceased Vietnam War veterans wishing to attend the commemoration can register for the free event by clicking on the event’s page under the home tab of usafmcom.army. mil. MVCSC kindergarten registration set – Mt. Vernon Community School Corporation will hold its kindergarten registration from noon to 7 p.m. April 6 at Fortville Elementary, from noon to 7 p.m. April 7 at McCordsville Elementary and from noon to 7 p.m. April 9 at Mt. Comfrt Elementary. For more, visit mvcsc.k12.in.us. Aktion Club looking for members – The Aktion Club of Lawrence began earlier this year and is currently seeking new members. The Aktion Club is the only service club for adults with disabilities in the Lawrence area, and is part of Kiwanis International’s family of Service Leadership Programs. For those interested in joining or learning more, email Dave Humes at davehumes@comcast.net.

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Arts for Lawrence brick campaign – Residents can support local arts by purchasing a brick for $100. The brick will be placed in Arts for Lawrence’s new Cultural Campus. Those who purchase the brick will receive three lines of text for commemoration and a miniature replica keepsake brick. To purchase a brick, call Arts for Lawrence at 317-875-1900. Lawrence Kiwanis Club meetings – Lawrence Kiwanis meets from 7 to 8 a.m. on the first and third Tuesdays of the month at the Fort Benjamin Harrison YMCA, 5736 Lee Rd. The group’s focus is the Lawrence community and children. The club works with the elementary, middle and high school students and participate in most community events. The public is invited to attend a meeting.

March 17, 2020

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Have a news tip? Want to submit a calendar event? Have a photograph to share? Contact Managing Editor Anna Skinner at anna@ youarecurrent. com, or call 317.489.4444 ext. 804. You may also submit information on our website, geistcurrent.com. Remember our news deadline is typically eight days prior to publication.

Want to advertise? Current in Geist reaches select households in 46040, 46055, 46236 and 46256 by U.S. Postal Service every Tuesday. For more on reaching this audience, call Lindsey Ells at 317.414.9175 or email her at lindsey@ youarecurrent.com.

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On the cover

Battalion Chief Brian Funk directs a ladder truck into the bay at Station 38. (Photo by Anna Skinner)

The views of the columnists in Current in Geist are their own and do not necessarily reflect the positions of this newspaper.

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Richardt stormwater project begins By Anna Skinner anna@youarecurrent.com

to Shadeland Way. There will be a new storm sewer on Atwell Drive from 48th to the dead end, and new storm sewers A stormwater project is under way on in Hartman and Sadlier Drives from just Richardt Avenue in Lawrence. The projnorth of 46th Street to tie into the hyect bid was brid ditches on 47th Street. CONSTRUCTION awarded to A hybrid ditch is a roadside Eagle Valley ditch with a large, perforated Construction. underdrain. Hybrid ditch inlets The project’s cost is just above are raised so that stormwater $2 million. It includes installing a soaks into the ground to get to large-diameter storm sewer pipe the pipe. between 47th and 48th streets on “Then we have the 47th Salsbery Richardt Avenue. A storm sewer Street water main project pipe also will be installed east on 48th under way, which is water main work Street to Mitchner Avenue, where it will between Richardt and Franklin on 47th connect to an existing storm sewer. Street, and it impacts all those side “Basically, it’s streets that tie an improvement,” into 47th Street Utility Supt. Scott between there,” Salsbery said. Salsbery said. “There’s a great, “That will be long history of done toward the drainage issues end of this year.” in that area. You The water get a good rain main project will and those areas not cause any have tremenclosures. dous back-up “We are also problems. Water starting the builds up, and it Brickhaven water takes a while for main project and it to drain out.” have a pre-conThe contractor struction meetis identifying ing coming up to existing utilities get that project and removing trees. Phase 1 should be kicked off,” Salsbery said. “All in all, here complete this fall. in about the last year, we have probably Other Phase 1 items include installing launched well over $5 million in water a new storm sewer on Payton Street main improvements.” from 47th south to a dead end. City officials say improvements are “There will be some intermittent lane necessary due to the high frequency of restrictions and that kind of stuff, maywater main breaks and failures as well be some full closures,” Salsbery said. as water quality issues. “The contractor will be responsible to “There’s discolored water complaints, put out advanced notice to the property rusty water, basically, and those mains owners and put required detour signage. are really old in that area,” Salsbery There will be no full-time closures.” said. “Not only are they old, they are Phase 2 includes stormwater improve- heavily built up with iron that has accuments on 48th and 47th streets west of mulated over the years.” Richardt Avenue. The older water mains are smaller in Lawrence is busy with other condiameter. The new, larger water mains struction projects as well, including increase hydraulic performance and will hybrid ditch installations along 48th provide more water for firefighters if and 47th streets on the north and south needed. sides of the street from Richardt west For more, visit cityoflawrence.org.

“There’s a great, long history of drainage issues in that area. You get a good rain and those areas have tremendous back-up problems. Water builds up, and it takes a while for it to drain out.”

FISHERS Project: Ind. 37 ImCONSTRUCTION provement Project Location: Construction began at 126th Street in August and will be followed by 146th, 131st and 135th streets, ending with 141st Street Expected completion: 2022 Detour: Ind. 37 will remain open during all phases of construction, with two northbound and two southbound lanes open during each phase. There will be closures on side roads with alternate routes always accessible, which will be announced at the time of the closure. Project: Utility relocation for future 96th Street expansion Location: 96th Street between Lantern and Cumberland roads Expected completion: 96th Street expansion to begin this year, utility work expected for the next several months Project: Downtown infrastructure improvement Location: The intersection of Morgan Drive and Lantern Road closed Feb. 10. Access to Fishers Elementary will be available from 106th Street. Lantern Road is currently closed to through traffic, beginning south of 116th Street to Fishers Pointe Boulevard. Expected completion: Closure is expected to last approximately two weeks. The entire project is expected to be complete in the fall. Detour: Lantern Road access open from the north for local traffic and Fishers Elementary School but will be closed between 116th Street and Fishers Pointe Boulevard. Use Fishers Pointe Boulevard for detour. WESTFIELD Project: Westfield Boulevard connector Location: The extension will connect the roundabout at Ind. 32 and Shamrock Boulevard with David Brown Drive. Construction has moved to the south side of Park Street. Expected completion: End of 2020 CARMEL Project: Extension of Lowes Way Location: From Keystone Parkway to Range Line Road Expected completion: July Project: Water line installation Location: West side of Westfield Boulevard between 99th Street and Norriston Drive. Traffic may be reduced to one lane at various times but no road closure is expected. Expected completion: April

March 17, 2020

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DISPATCHES Lawrence Exchange Club – For those looking to get involved in the Lawrence and Geist community and hoping to give back, join the Lawrence Exchange Club. The club meets from 11:45 a.m. to 1 p.m. the second and fourth Monday of the month at the VFW, 10550 Pendleton Pike. The group’s national focus is prevention of child abuse, recognizing servicemen and woman and community service. Send us your stories – Current Publishing is now accepting photos or story ideas to

run in the community section. Photos from kid events, athletic games and more are all welcome. Story ideas on new businesses, features, school news and more are accepted. All photos must include the names of anyone photographed. Please send them to anna@youarecurrent.com. Kiwanis of Geist meetings – Those looking to make a difference for the kids in the Geist area are encouraged to attend a Kiwanis at Geist meeting. The meetings are at 7:45 a.m. the first Thursday of the month

at the Indianapolis Yacht Club, 12900 Fall Creek Rd., McCordsville. Hamilton County Democratic Women to meet – The Hamilton County Democratic Women group meets the third Saturday of each month at the Delaware Township Government Building, 9090 E. 131st St. The next meeting is scheduled for 9:30 a.m. March 21. Attendees should bring two canned good items. Tiernon recognized – Anne-Marie Tiernon, a local news anchor, recently was recog-

nized by the Sertoma Club of Broad Ripple. She received the Service to Mankind Award for her service to several charities in central Indiana. Conner receives award – Ben Conner, a Fishers resident and CEO of Indianapolis-based employee benefits firm Conner Insurance, received the 2020 Summit Award at ASCEND, the annual meeting of the Association for Insurance Leadership held in Dallas, Texas, Jan. 9-12.

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March 17, 2020

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Town council approves town center master plan By Anna Skinner anna@youarecurrent.com

we need to continue to talk with developers and have meetings with developers and learn more about what they like and The McCordsville Town Council adopted don’t like about the plan,” Crum said. “The the town center master plan at its Feb. plan shows what we want in terms of 11 meeting, 4-1, with the vision, but we understand what is GOVERNMENT councilor Greg Brewer built is not going to look exactly like that casting the sole nay plan. The plan gives us the template for vote. what we hope it looks like, and that’s OK Director of Planning and Buildas long as it is in tune with the ing Ryan Crum said the master overall vision of mixed use, like plan is a visioning document for shopping experiences for a live/ the future town center. work/play-type of area.” “It lays out the plan and vision, Crum said there is no timeline declares the area and says this to implement the plan. Throughout is what we would like to see de2020, the town will continue zonveloped here,” Crum said. “It’s our ing implementation. Crum guiding principle document to get “There are not going to be shovdevelopment to occur there that is els in the ground this year and keeping with our vision.” probably not next year,” Crum said. “This The town center is planned on apis a long-term plan and project. It’s not proximately 150 acres southeast of West something that’s going to happen quickly Broadway and Mt. Comfort Road. overnight. We’ve seen in other places, it Because the council approved the plan, has happened really fast, but with Mcthe town’s next steps are to implement it Cordsville’s town center, people are going with actions such as zoning. to need to be more patient. “We need to work on zoning that will “It’s going to come along, but it’s going match the town center master plan, and to come along at a slower pace than what

A rendering of what the town center might look like. (Submitted rendering)

some of the bigger cities are able to do.” The latest version of the plan is available on the town’s website at mccordsville.org. A drainage study of the area is under way. “You have to know where the water is at and where it’s going to go post-de-

velopment,” Crum said. “It becomes really important with a project of this scale. Detention and drainage need to be phased as well, and that’s a big part of implementation.” The drainage study is expected to be complete by spring.

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Parrish to get national spotlight By Mark Ambrogi mark@youarecurrent.com Hamilton Southeastern High School senior Sydney Parrish’s quest for a repeat Class 4A state title endBASKETBALL ed in disappointment with a loss to rival Fishers in the sectional championship. Yet, she will still represent Hamilton Southeastern a few more times, including in the nation’s most prestigious all-star game. Parrish, who will play for the University of Oregon next season, is the only player from Indiana selected to the McDonald’s All-American boys or girls teams this season. The game is April 1 in Houston. “It was a big goal of mine. When the day came, I didn’t know what to expect,” Parrish said. “I’m just really honored to play with the top 24 (high school senior) players in the country. It will be a really good experience before heading to college.” Parrish, who is ranked 10th in the class of 2020 by ESPN, also was chosen to play in the Jordan Brand Classic game March 27 in Chicago. Parrish recently discovered she has a slight fracture in her left wrist on her non-shooting hand, but said it should be fine with rest and she will be able to play in both games. Parrish averaged nearly 25 points and eight rebounds per game for the Royals (22-3) this season. As a junior, Parrish averaged 21 points in helping the Royals finish 27-1, beating Lawrence North in the state title game. “Sydney can do so many things and I think her ability was more on display this year than any other year,” Royals coach Chris Huppenthal said. “There was a lot of emphasis on committing two or three bodies on her. Her numbers on scoring still went up and that’s a credit to how good she is.” Huppenthal said Parrish is very supportive of her teammates. “She is the total package when it comes to her character and athletic ability, just a kid you want to have around on your team,” Huppenthal said. Parrish is one of the frontrunners for Indiana’s Miss Basketball, awarded to the top senior. Parrish was named the Gato-

Hamilton Southeastern senior Sydney Parrish is an All-American. (Photo by Kirk Greeb)

rade Indiana Girls Basketball Player of the Year for 2019, but Northwestern senior Madison Layden was recently named the 2020 winner by Gatorade. Lawrence North edged Northwestern in the Class 4A state final Feb. 29. “If you ask me, I’m going to be scratching my head at the end of the day if Sydney doesn’t win it,” Huppenthal said. “If you look at the schedule we play and what she had to do every night is remarkable.” Parrish is pleased with the progress she has made. “Some people just tagged me as a shooter,” she said. “But I think I got to the post a lot and worked on my post game and bringing the ball up as a point guard and showing my skills that way.” Parrish said her main goal for her freshman year at Oregon is to see where she fits in with the Ducks. “My long-term goal is definitely to win a national championship. Everyone wonders why I decided to go so far and not play in the Big Ten since I’m around all these Big Ten schools,” she said. “To win a national championship, I felt I had the best opportunity there. I’m eager to get out there and see what happens for us.”

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Nonprofit network established By Renee Larr news@currentinfishers.com A group of local nonprofit leaders recently created the Fishers Nonprofit Coalition to provide a network of COALITION nonprofit organizations supporting families and youth. The coalition was founded to identify needs within the community, cultivate community between nonprofits and curate data to support the demand in Fishers. The organization was co-founded by Dr. Jody Britten, founder of the Early Learning Alliance Network, and Alison Gatz, executive director of the Youth Mentoring Initiative. “We realized it would be great if we had a more systematic way to have a conversation amongst local nonprofits,” Gatz said. “We’re starting to grow as a city and have more residents to serve. We wanted to have a collaborative, intentional spirit about how we deliver our services to the community.” One way the group plans to accomplish its mission is to share information across local nonprofits.

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Southeastern Program of Recreational Team Sports, or S.P.O.R.T.S., recently changed its name to NONPROFIT Mudscock Youth Athletics. The nonprofit athletics organization rebranded to clarify its mission and partnerships within the community. “We are great partners with the City of Fishers and the area schools,” Executive Director Scott Spillman said. “So, lots of people thought we were an extension of one of the two. We did a lot of research with a marketing firm, and we landed on a new name, Mudsock Youth Athletics.” The name is derived from the late 1870s Battle of the Mudsock brawl in Fishers and the annual football game between Hamilton Southeastern High School and Fishers High School. The rebranding also applies to the annual flagship kickball event. The new name is KICK Corporate Challenge. “We thought this would be a great time to change the name of the event and its

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Hamilton Southeastern High School senior Tiffany Campion was selected as one of the national winners for the Club Z! In-Home Tutoring Annual Achievement Award. She received $500. From left, HSE High School counselor Greg Davidson, Tiffany Campion and Club Z! area director Hina Shaikh. The deadline for the next nomination period is April 17. For more, visit clubzaward.com. (Submitted photo)

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Hamilton County Democratic Women to meet – The Hamilton County Democratic Women group meets the third Saturday of each month at the Delaware Township Government Building, 9090 E. 131st St. The next meeting is scheduled for 9:30 a.m. March 21. Attendees should bring two canned good items. Tiernon recognized – Anne-Marie Tiernon, a local news anchor, recently was recognized by the Sertoma Club of Broad Ripple. She received the Service to Mankind Award for her service to several charities in central Indiana. Conner receives award – Ben Conner, a Fishers resident and CEO of Indianapolis-based employee benefits firm Conner Insurance, received the 2020 Summit Award at ASCEND, the annual meeting of the Association for Insurance Leadership held in Dallas, Texas, Jan. 9-12. The award recognizes those who have achieved notable success as a NextGeneration Benefits Firm that delivers improved and cost-effective employee benefits to its employer clients.

March 17, 2020

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Westfield GOP Club to conduct debate By Anna Skinner anna@youarecurrent.com

have 60 seconds per question.” The Westfield GOP Club will draft the questions. The Westfield GOP Club will conduct “We have one more meeting planned to a debate between the large pool of 5th fine-tune the details, but we don’t believe District Congressional we will open (questions) up to the public 5TH DISTRICT candidates simply because of lack of time,” vying for the Willis said. “There’s some quesRepublican nomination in the May tions we want to make sure get primary. U.S. Republican incumanswered.” bent Susan Brooks is retiring at The debate is free and open to the end of her term. the public. A VIP event at Grand The debate is set for 6 to 8 p.m. Junction Brewing Co., 1189 E. 181st March 25 at the Westfield High St., will follow the debate. AttendWillis School auditorium, 18250 N. Union ees can meet the candidates. TickSt. ets are $25. The debate will be moderated by Kyle “It’s a chance for residents and voters Hupfer, chairman of the Indiana State GOP. to interact directly with the candidates,” “It’s really going to Willis said. “It’s importbe more of a forum beant voters understand cause there’s just so the options they have many candidates that and make educated are running, it would decisions on their be almost impossible vote because we can’t to put on an effective afford to get this one debate,” said Scott wrong.” Willis, president of the The Westfield GOP Westfield GOP Club. Club is partnering with So far, 12 of the 15 the Hamilton County Republican candidates Young Republicans to have confirmed they conduct the debate will attend. They are Kent Abernathy, with all the GOP clubs in Hamilton County. Micah Beckwith, Chuck Dietzen, Beth HenIt is the Westfield GOP Club’s first large derson, Matthew Hook, Carl Brizzi, Russell event since selecting a new board of Stwalley, Kelly Mitchell, Danny Niedendirectors. berger, Victoria Spartz, Matt Hullinger and Although Democratic candidates will Andrew Bales. Republican candidates who not participate in the debate, Democrats have not confirmed are Allen Davidson, vying for the 5th District seat are JenniMark Small and Victor Wakley. fer Christie, Christina Hale, Andy Jacobs, “We will bring each candidate up, one at Ralph Spelbring and Dee Thornton. a time, and give them a chance to answer For more, visit the Westfield GOP Club six to eight questions,” Willis said. “They on Facebook.

“We have one more meeting planned to fine-tune the details, but we don’t believe we will open (questions) up to the public simply because of lack of time.”

DISPATCHES SWCD offers native plants and ran barrels – The Hamilton County Soil & Water Conservation District will sell native plant kits with 50 native plant plugs for $125. The SWCD also is selling rain barrels, available for pre-order for $75. Plant orders are due April 20 and rain barrel pre-orders are due May 21. For more, visit hamiltonswcd.org. SWCD to conduct workshop – The Hamilton County Soil and Water Conservation District

will conduct a sustainability workshop focusing on invasive species from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. April 18 at the Hamilton County 4-H Fairgrounds Annex in Noblesville. Attendees will learn about the threat of invasive species, practical management basics with demonstrations, and how to identify, eradicate and replace invasive species on their property with native varieties. The workshop is $12 per person and will run from. Register at hamiltonswcd.org. Space is limited.

March 17, 2020

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Funk lands dream job at Fishers By Mark Ambrogi mark@youarecurrent.com

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and build off that tradition.” Funk said it has been good to start working at the school this school year and get a Curt Funk had his eye on the Fishers High head start in knowing the players. School football coaching position for quite “The kids have been working hard in the a while. weight room,” Funk said. “The previous FOOTBALL “I said to myself coaching staff’s assistants have if the job ever been good about helping the proopened up, I would apply for it gram move along without a head and do everything I can to be the coach. The strength coach, Josh next coach at Fishers because I Jones, does a tremendous job with think this would be a great place the kids in the weight room. The to coach, teach and raise a family,” staff is not fully set yet, but I feel Funk said. like we have a lot of pieces in place Funk Funk got his wish. He was hired now.” as coach in February and began Fishers finished 7-3 last season. working at Fishers as a physical education In addition to football, Funk was Missisteacher Feb. 24. sinewa’s wrestling coach the past four seaFunk had been the football coach at Missons. He last act at Mississinewa wrestling sissinewa for 10 seasons, leading the Indicoach was coaching in IHSAA State Wresans to a 77-36 record and Class 4A sectional tling Finals Feb. 22. His son, Kyler, a senior, championships in 2017 and 2019. He replaces finished in seventh place in the 195-pound Rick Wimmer, who resigned in December class. 2019 after 14 seasons. Wimmer, 63, was the Prior to Mississinewa, Funk was a teachonly coach Fishers had since opening in er and assistant coach at Mooresville, Mun2006. His 2010 team won the Class 5A state cie South and Bluffton High School. title. Funk, a Bluffton native, is a 2003 gradu“I know there is a strong tradition that ate of Purdue University. He and his wife, coach Wimmer worked hard to establish,” Janette, also have a younger son, Camden, a Funk said. “I want to continue that tradition sixth-grader.

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Cherish, a nonprofit child advocacy center for Hamilton County, was the recipient of the Security 101 Gift of Security, which is $10,000 worth of integrated security services from Security 101. From left, John Wilcox of Security 101, Elisa Wilcos of Security 101, Wendy Gamble of Cherish, Courtney Bachus of Cherish, Kourtney Rhodes of Cherish and Robin Hildebrand of Cherish. (Submitted photo)

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March 17, 2020

COMMUNITY

Current in Geist geistcurrent.com

A rendering of the new Station 38. (Submitted rendering)

Coming Soon?

Paramedic Janna Dayton, left, and EMT Jake Sayer staff an ambulance at Station 38. (Photo by Anna Skinner)

City of Lawrence to approach council regarding new fire station By Anna Skinner anna@youarecurrent.com Lawrence Fire Dept. Station 38, 4450 McCoy St., was built COVER STORY 34 years ago when the LFD was a volunteer organization. Now that LFD is a paid department, city officials are in the process of seeking approval to build a new station suitable for 24-hour staffing. “It was built in ’86, and one of the issues we had with that station was it was never built to be a 24-hour station,” LFD Chief Dino Batalis said. “Back in the day, this was a volunteer fire dept, and then in the late ’80s went to a combination department, which was paid and also volunteer. In the early ’90s, we went fully paid, so when you’re totally volunteer, it wasn’t set up for people to sleep 24 hours.” Station 38 has undergone at least five remodels with a kitchen, men’s and women’s bunk rooms and women’s bathrooms. “We put money in in 2016 for the females

because they weren’t even able to shower there,” Batalis said. “It has made the conditions to be livable, but it’s definitely due to be replaced. Any structure, given that age, needs something done to it.” In May, city officials plan to request the Lawrence Common Council approve bonds to build the station. Mayor Steve Collier is unsure what it will cost. Bids will be accepted in July. “It’ll go fairly quickly, quicker than the police station went,” Collier said. “Once council approves the bond, then it’s a matter of just following the law and that’s, generally speaking, about a 60-day process.” Once a bid is accepted, Batalis estimates construction to take 10 months to a year. The station on McCoy Street will be demolished, which is expected to speed up construction of the new station on the same property. The new building will be one story. The current station has a basement. “It will be more state-of-the-art,” Batalis said. “Everything (at the existing station) has been kind of piecemeal. That station

used to have communications in there and administration offices.” The firefighters and the equipment housed at Station 38 will be divided among the city’s other three stations – Station 37, Station 39 and Station 40. A ladder truck, a tactical truck, a battalion chief and an ambulance are housed at Station 38. Batalis doesn’t expect emergency response times will change with the reshuffling of resources. “Right now, from what we understand, the response area is not going to change a whole lot,” he said.

It is uncertain which equipment will be temporarily housed at which stations, but Batalis said he expects the ambulance will be centrally located. “It’s not just because that’s where we want the apparatus,” he said. “When we do the final drawing of this, it’ll be what will best serve the citizens of our city for response times? What else is involved? Like if they’re doing major street construction anywhere nearby, that will determine where we put the equipment.” Batalis said. “We want the best response times.”

CONDUCTING RESEARCH A Lawrence Fire Dept. committee visited other new fire stations, such as Plainfield Fire Dept.’s Station 123, Indianapolis Fire Dept. Station 7 and Wayne Township Fire Dept. Station 82 to see what works and what doesn’t. Also, new equipment recently was purchased for Station 38. It is being temporarily stored in Bloomington until the new

station is built. “We purchased a gear washer, a fill station for our SCBA tanks, and that is being stored for free from the place we purchased from in Bloomington,” said Batalis, noting the logistics challenge moving large equipment as well as the trucks to a temporary station.

VIEWS

March 17, 2020

Current in Geist geistcurrent.com

ESSAY

LETTER

Survey says ...

Braun response distresses

Commentary by Terry Anker If on the publisher list for a local newspaper, expect to receive scores of unsolicited press releases, important news announcements and, unfortunately, hostile perspective. Most is harmless enough, including urgings to sell books, print interviews and encourage consultancy for a limitless array of previously unknown “national experts.” Usually advanced by a PR firm, the author/ speaker/expert may not be proficient in the field touted but has mastered the art of mass manipulation. Sadly, about half of these “urgent” messages that newspapers are encouraged to print are intentionally polarizing opinion. The headlines scream, “All of my ethnic group believes X – and all of the other ethnic groups believe Y.” Well, maybe. “The virus will kill us all.” “The virus is an attack by China.” “The virus is as fake as the moon landing.” If so many folks didn’t buy into the extreme rhetoric, it would all be entertaining enough. The most enjoyable of them assert some survey superiority. They measure habits, choices and peccadillos garnering, with broad speculation, our natures. Via Haley, who it seems knows the intended recipient well absent of any former communication, at rnpublicrelationsgroup reports that Indiana is the 29th-heaviest drinking state in America. That puts us at the 42nd percentile – a solid fail to Haley. About half of us drink. A third binge-drink, consuming per-capita the 18th percentile and are catching up at 88th of new drinkers and 66th in craft breweries. Who knows if any of it is true. However, we are reminded to use caution. Indiana is not the biggest drinking state, or the least. It is not the most likely for arrest, nor does it have the highest death rate. Still, is it worth it? There is much life to live, and prisons — or, for that matter — cemeteries, are not on this paper’s delivery route.

Terry Anker is an associate editor of Current Publishing, LLC. You may email him at terry@youarecurrent.com.

Alarmed by outdated clock Commentary by Danielle Wilson I’m mad as heck and I’m not going to take it anymore! Kidding. It’s more like, I’m mildly frustrated and I’m going to HUMOR write about it. Last week while adjusting my clocks for the stupid “spring forward,” I renewed a vow to get rid of the time monstrosity that rests on my bedside table. Once the latest and greatest technology of the ’90s, my “alarm clock” is now sorely outdated. Although it includes AM/FM, three wake-up settings and, the pièce de résistance, an honest-to-God CD player, I can no longer justify its presence. The main problem is that the button to move time forward is broken, so whenever I want to reset the alarm for later, I have to go backward a full 23 hours. And that hurts my fingers, so I just give up and use my phone. Which begs the question: “Why don’t you always use your phone (idiot)?” Honestly, there are two reasons. The first

is practical: I love the warm ambient glow that lets me know how long I haven’t been sleeping and keeps me from running into the TV on my way to the bathroom. True, my phone could function similarly, but I’d have to navigate the unlocking process without my glasses amid a nocturnal fog, which would somewhat defeat the purpose. The second, and perhaps more significant, reason is that this clock was a wedding gift that has literally been with me half of my life. One husband, two apartments, three houses, four babies ... we’ve experienced a lot of living together. I can’t simply throw her away. But maybe it’s time. Peace out.

Last week while adjusting my clocks for the stupid “spring forward,” I renewed a vow to get rid of the time monstrosity that rests on my bedside table.

Danielle Wilson is a contributing columnist. You may email her at info@youarecurrent.com.

Editor, I grew up in Indianapolis, graduated from Shortridge High School in 1967 and moved back here last year to care for my amazing 98-year-old mother. I wrote to Sen. (Mike) Braun recently asking him to be an impartial juror and commit to ensuring a fair impeachment trial. His response appalled me: “... Career politicians, distressed by President Trump’s election in 2016, have sought from the day after the election to undermine his ability to effect change. Instead of working on issues that the American people care about, ... the Democrats have instead decided to continue harassing the Trump Administration with flimsy and unsubstantiated claims. I was elected by the people of Indiana to support President Trump in his efforts to change business as usual in Washington, D.C. That is what I intend to continue to do as your United States Senator.” No, senator, you were elected to support and defend our Constitution. The evidence against President Trump is far from flimsy or unsubstantiated. The accusations against him demand a trial with documents and witnesses. Your fellow Hoosiers expect nothing less. Nancy Kohn, Indianapolis

POLICIES Letters to the editor: Current Publishing will consider verifiable letters of up to 150 words. Letters must be thoroughly vetted prior to submission. Current retains the right to reject or return any letter it deems to carry unsubstantiated content. Current also retains the right to edit letters, but not their intent. Send letters to info@youarecurrent.com. Writers must include a hometown and a daytime phone number for verification. Guest columns: The policy for guest columns is the same as the aforementioned, but the allowable length is 240 words. Guest columns should address the whole of Current’s readership, not simply specialinterest groups, and may not in any way contain a commercial message.

March 17, 2020

VIEWS

Current in Geist geistcurrent.com

More shticky TV reruns

Dick Wolfsie is an author, columnist and speaker. Contact him at wolfsie@aol.com.

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Here is Part 2 of looking back at some of my favorite funny segments during my last 40 years in TV. Bruised ego HUMOR Dick the Bruiser loved the camera. When I asked him to be on my show, he said he was up for anything. However, he was never up before 11 a.m. My interview segments in those days started live at 5:30 a.m., so I told Bruiser I was going to knock on his door and that his wife should answer and tell me he was still sleeping. I’d tell her to wake him, but she would warn me that it could put me in serious jeopardy. In the next segment, Bruiser appears at the door, pretending I woke him. This was all set up, although he really did look ticked. He put me in a headlock, banged my noggin into the grill and then grabbed the back of my pants and launched me into his pool. That episode created quite a splash. It can be found on YouTube. Hounded to death I received a call from a man wanting to show how his dogs could track a fox scent. I asked if my beagle, Barney, could participate. Prior to the show, an artificial fox scent was spread along the ground leading to a tree. I also had taken a giant beef salami and rubbed it along the ground, but this path led to this meaty treat on a picnic table far from the hounds’ ultimate desti-

nation. Minutes later, the coon dogs were barking up the right tree, while Barney was enjoying a nice kosher meal. Sales force Comedian Soupy Sales and I hosted a few shows together in New York. Years later, he was booked at an Indy comedy club, so I scheduled him as a guest on my morning WISH-TV segment. I opened the on-site broadcast from his hotel lobby, where I introduced that the one-and-only Soupy Sales was rumored to be in the building. The elevator door opened, and out walked Soupy. “Hello,” I said. “Did you hear that Soupy Sales is staying here?” “I am Soupy Sales,” he said, faking his annoyance. I persisted … “No, really! Soupy Sales is staying at this very hotel.” “For the last time, I am Soupy Sales.” Next followed the rehearsed zinger. “Wow, you sure got older!” I said. On cue, a waiter walked by with a pie. Soupy grabbed the pie off the tray and deposited it right in my face. A photo of that moment is in my office, signed by the legendary comic: “To Dick Wolfsie: That was great shtick. Love, Soupy.”

Commentary by Dick Wolfsie

Chad

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March 17, 2020

BUSINESS LOCAL

Current in Geist geistcurrent.com

MASSAGE HEIGHTS CUTS RIBBON

Massage Heights founder Christina Goebel, center, holds the One Zone Chamber of Commerce ceremonial scissors as Massage Heights celebrated opening its newest location at 9705 Fishers District Dr., Suite 710 in Fishers. (Photo by Ben Stout)

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Tom Roush Mazda THE 2020 MAZDA CX-5 SPORT FWD LEASE FOR $239/MO FOR 36 MONTHS (317) 896-5561 WWW. TOM R OU SH M AZ DA .CO M US 31 N.WESTFIELD, IN Not all leases will qualify. Lease is 36 months, 10k miles, with $2,999 DAS + tax, title, 1st payment and $199 doc fee. Must take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 3/31/20. See Tom Roush Mazda for complete details.

New report finds incomes rising Indiana - After several decades of stagnation, real earnings for full-time U.S. workers are on the upswing. Data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) shows that between 2015 and 2018, inflation-adjusted earnings for full-time wage and salary workers increased by more than 3.0 percent. Similarly, newly released data from the Census Bureau shows that inflation-adjusted earnings across all full-time workers increased by 2.2 percent over the same time period. Indiana wages increased 2.4 percent between 2015 and 2018, compared to a national increase of 2.2 percent. Source: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics Five best fuel-efficient cars and SUVs - The bad news is, gas prices have been climbing. The good news is, the fuel efficiency of new cars has been climbing even more dramatically. So if you haven’t shopped for a car lately, you might be shocked at how many miles some really nice vehicles -- not those little tin cans on wheels -- now can squeeze from a gallon of gas or from a few hours plugged into a wall socket. The latest fuel-efficient cars don’t feel or drive like the underperforming, u nderwhelming gas-sippers of yore. Here are Bottom Line’s five best cars and SUVs that combine great overall

appeal, affordability and excellent-fortheir-class fuel economy: Best hatchback, 2018/2019 Hyundai Ioniq Hybrid; best sedan, 2018/2019 Honda Accord Hybrid; best SUV, 2019 Toyota RAV4 Hybrid; best big people-mover, 2018/2019 Chrysler Pacifica Plug-in Hybrid; and best pure electric, 2018/2019 Chevy Bolt EV. Source: Source: BottomLineInc.com The value of a dollar - In the U.S., apparently not every dollar is equal. The value of $1 varies depending on where you go. According to new data compiled by 24/7 Wall Street from the Bureau of Economic Analysis (BEA), a dollar goes the furthest in America’s “poorest states,” such as Mississippi and Alabama. According to 24/7 Wall Street’s research, only four states (Rhode Island, Florida, Oregon and Delaware) are actually worth $1. The states that were named the most expensive include New Jersey, California and New York, with each averaging about $0.87 to $0.88 on the dollar. Hawaii was by far the priciest state — with a $1 bill being worth only a measly $0.84. The warm-weather state was also dubbed the most expensive state. Indiana ranked 11th with a value of $1.11 on the dollar. Source: Foxbusiness.com

March 17, 2020

HEALTH

Current in Geist geistcurrent.com

Indiana reports new virus cases The Indiana State Dept. of Health reported 10 positive cases of the new coronavirus less than a week after it was COVID-19 first confirmed in the state earlier this month. As of press time, at least 10 Indiana residents have tested presumptive positive for COVID-19, a disease stemming from the new coronavirus. The six residents are from Adams, Boone, Hendricks, Howard, Johnson, Marion and Noble counties. So far, the ISDH reports that every case has had a connection to a previous case. The Indiana State Dept. of Health has created a dashboard providing live statistics tracking the disease in the state, including the total number of positive cases and the number of people tested so far. The dashboard can be found at in.gov/isdh/28470. htm. The dashboard will be updated daily as more cases are expected. Indiana Gov. Eric Holcomb and the ISDH announced the first positive case of a new coronavirus in Indiana on March 6, and Holcomb issued a public health emergency declaration in conjunction with the announcement. The first Hoosier diagnosed with COVID-19 is a Marion County resident who previously traveled to Boston, according to the ISDH. Massachusetts had reported seven positive cases of the new coronavirus at the time of the announcement. “With the help of our federal, state and local partners, Indiana is responding to this case as we have planned and prepared for weeks,” Holcomb stated. The ISDH is working closely with county health departments, hospitals and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

to ensure all close contacts of patients are identified and monitored — including immediate family, coworkers and anyone who may have had close interactions — and that all infection-control protocols are followed. Patients that test positive for the new virus will remain in isolation for 14 days — the time at which symptoms of the disease have been reported to wane — and will not be released until specimens taken two consecutive days at the end of that period test negative for COVID-19, according to the ISDH. “The state health department has been preparing for weeks to ensure that we have the resources and systems in place to limit or prevent the spread of COVID-19 in Indiana,” Indiana State Health Commissioner Kris Box stated. “Given the global spread of this illness, the question was never if Indiana would have a case, but when it would arrive.” While health officials try to mitigate the community spread of the disease, testing remains limited to the state level. Counties do not yet have testing kits of their own. As of press time, the state has tested 40 Indiana residents. The risk posed by the disease, which as of press time has afflicted 120,000 people and caused 4,000 deaths worldwide, has led many companies and schools to take preventative measures to stop the spread. Indiana and Purdue universities have suspended in-person classes for the first two weeks after their spring breaks, switching to online courses. Several companies, including Eli Lilly, have asked employees to work from home in all but specific circumstances. Large public gatherings across the U.S. have been postponed or canceled. ISDH will provide updates as new information becomes available. For more, visit on.in.gov/COVID19.

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March 17, 2020

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FHS to stage Addams Family musical By Sadie Hunter sadie@youarecurrent.com For Fishers High School theater students, this year’s theme of family will be portrayed in upcoming performances of “The Addams Family.” MUSICAL Recognizable from the TV show and movies, the production is different because it’s a musical. Hitting Broadway in 2010, the show features more than a dozen musical numbers by a cast and crew of approximately 120 students who have been rehearsing since January. The show follows the familiar characters of Gomez and Morticia Addams, their children Pugsley and Wednesday, Uncle Fester, Cousin Itt, Lurch and Grandmama Addams. With a strong focus on Wednesday, the plot follows her, a new boyfriend and his introduction to the Addams Family. Three performances are scheduled for 7 p.m. March 27 and 28 and 2 p.m. March 29 at the FHS auditorium. “The audience can expect loads of laughs,” said Anna Nickell, theater director at FHS. “The family characters are the same as those made popular by the TV show and movies, with a few additions.” With Nickell at the helm, a team of nine adults will help produce the show. Senior Jacob Schilling and junior Margaret DeLong play the lead roles of father and daughter Gomez and Wednesday, respectively. Schilling he said he identifies with Gomez’s personality. “This role is very expressive and very blown up because Gomez is not a shy person,” Schilling said. “He’s really outgoing, and in a way, he’s really cocky. I really enjoy it because I’m not afraid to be really confident. I’ve enjoyed sinking myself into this role because there are a lot of fun songs and so many good opportunities comedically.” DeLong said she couldn’t be more different from Wednesday Addams. “I’ve always loved ‘The Addams Family’ TV show and the character of Wednesday, but I’m very much the opposite of Wednesday in real life,” DeLong said. “I am very bubbly and springy, and she’s very dark. I’ve been really drawn to the role because it’s so different,

“Saturday Night Fever” Beef & Boards Dinner Theatre, Indianapolis: Through March 29. For more, visit beefandboards.com or call 317-872-9664. “A Few Good Men” Civic Theatre, The Tarkington, the Center for the Performing Arts, Carmel: Through March 28. For more, visit civictheatre. org. “Murder on the Orient Express” Indiana Repertory Theatre, Indianapolis: Through March 29. For more, visit irtlive.com. Kurt Elling Quintet: “A Century of Heroes” Palladium, Center for the Performing Arts, Carmel: 8 p.m. March 21. For more, visit thecenterpresents.org. “A Raisin in the Sun” Main Street Productions, Westfield Playhouse, Westfield: March 20 to April 5. For more, visit westfieldplayhouse.org. Carmel Symphony Orchestra Clay Township Presents Side-by-Side with Carmel High School: 4 p.m. March 22. For more, visit carmelsymphony.org.

Margaret DeLong rehearses as Wednesday Addams. (Photos by Sadie Hunter

Jacob Schilling rehearses as Gomez Addams.

and it’s a challenge because I’m used to playing roles that are more like me. I love that she’s kind of growing up and going through this crisis because I think we all do that in high school, so I relate to her in that way.” Of her musical numbers, DeLong said her favorite is “Pulled.” “It’s quintessential, but for any Broadway girl that knows it, they’re obsessed with that song,” DeLong said. “When I first heard it, I thought I could sing it pretty well, and it fits my voice, but also it is Wednesday’s big moment of self-expression. Outside of that, she doesn’t really show a lot of emotion. She’s very stoic.” Tickets are $12 for adults and $10 for students and seniors. They can be purchased at bit.ly/2Wcfvtg.

“Don Giovanni” Indianapolis Opera, The Toby Theater at Newfields, Indianapolis: March 20 to 22. For more, visit indyopera.org. “Melvin’s Room” The Belfry Theatre, Noblesville: March 20 to April 5. For more, visit thebelfrytheatre.com. Luminaries: “Songs of Suffrage: Votes for Women!” Palladium, Center for the Performing Arts, Carmel: 2 p.m. March 24. For more, visit thecenterpresents.org. “The Paper Dreams of Harry Chin” Indiana Repertory Theatre, Indianapolis: March 25 to April 19. For more, visit irtlive.com.

March 17, 2020

NIGHT & DAY

Current in Geist geistcurrent.com

Jazz singer Elling pays tribute to heroes By Mark Ambrogi mark@youarecurrent.com

tribute to legends like Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Louis Armstrong, Billy Eckstine and Jon Hendricks. Kurt Elling has been passionate about Elling, however, said he’s not treating jazz his entire life, so naturally he has his the show as a term paper on jazz. share of favorites. “It’s a way for us to have a good CONCERT Elling will pay time and a way for me to share my tribute to those favorite singers and their names singers when the Kurt Elling Quinwith some people that might not tet performs “Century of Heroes” have heard of them before or may at 8 p.m. March 21 at the Palladium quickly be forgetting them,” said at the Center for Performing Arts Elling, who is based in New York. in Carmel. Elling said he put the quintet toElling “It’s not the main touring gether for this series of shows. agenda, but it’s a special occasion kind “I try to incorporate things that have of thing,” Elling said. “I’m always putting been part of my bag before, but I try not to another project out, and this was one that over-do it,” Elling said. “People that have was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing heard me in the past like to hear some difwe were able to put together with dear ferent ideas where I’m taking it. The people friends in a live setting. That means we’ve that haven’t can start from here and dive been able to come out with a slightly difin afterwards. ferent show that we normally do.” “At the end of the night if people still Elling, a Chicago-born baritone who has have a request, that’s why we record. They won eight Jazz Journalists Association can go home and put on the stereo.” awards for Male Singer of the Year, pays

Adult Easter egg hunt set By Anna Skinner anna@youarecurrent.com Adults can compete in a nostalgic activity with the April 11 return of the Adult Easter Egg Hunt at BlackWINERY hawk Winery, 28153 Ditch Rd., Sheridan. “The kids have their Easter eggs, so why shouldn’t adults have theirs?” Blackhawk Winery owner Deb Miller said. This will be the fifth year for the event. The winery will be open from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. “Anyone can come out when the grounds are open, listen to music, meet the Easter bunny, drink some wine and check out the food trucks over the course of the whole day,” Miller said. The Easter egg hunt requires a ticket and will be capped at 150 people. Times are 11 a.m., 1 p.m., 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. Eggs are reset each time. The hunt is outdoors and takes place rain or shine. “You can go search and take a glass of wine with you, and everybody who participates in the Easter egg hunt gets a plastic or metal wine tumbler with a

BY AARON SORKIN

Adults can meet the Easter bunny and participate in an adult Easter egg hunt April 11 at Blackhawk Winery. (Submitted photo)

lid,” Miller said. “The ticket also includes a glass of wine and then the Easter egg hunt.” Prizes are awarded based on egg colors. Tickets are $35 and increase to $40 April 1. If tickets are left the day of the event, they are $45 if purchased at the door. For more or to purchase tickets, visit blackhawkwinery.com.

3/13 - 3/28

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March 17, 2020

NIGHT & DAY

Current in Geist geistcurrent.com

March 20, 21 & 22 The Toby Theater at Newfields

Lil Dumplings

TICKETS ON SALE NOW IndyOpera.org or call 317-283-3531

Falafel from Lil Dumplings is a vegetarian option everyone can enjoy. (Photo by Anna Skinner)

45th Anniversary Season

Two amazing operas together for the first time!

April 24, 25 & 26 The Toby Theater

MOTIVATE INSPIRE ACHIEVE

Commentary by Anna Skinner Address: 9713 District North Dr., Suite 1210, Fishers  What to get: Falafel Price: $9 Anna’s take: My favorite thing about the Fishers Test Kitchen is it is home to three restaurants. So, chances are that everyone in your party will find something they enjoy. At Lil Dumplings, menu options are focused on global street food. I ordered falafel, which is vegetarian-friendly because it’s made with either ground chickpeas, fava beans or both. The falafel was firm with a slightly crunchy exterior, layered with cabbage, cucumbers,

heirloom tomatoes, red onion and kimchi yogurt on pita bread, topped with microgreens. It was a great portion for the price, and the taste was exceptional. Normally a meat-eater, I was thrilled with finding a vegetarian dish I enjoyed. Suggested pairings: Sun King Brewing also is in the Fishers Test Kitchen. Pair a falafel with Sun King’s mojito for a refreshing option.

Behind bars: The Crystal Unicorn

Join us for An Evening of Inspiration with Minda Dentler

Diamond Sponsor

April 29, 2020

When: Wednesday, April 29, 2020 | Network while enjoying heavy hors d’oeuvres and a cash bar–4:30 p.m. | Keynote speaker & program–6 p.m. Where: Indianapolis Marriott North, 3645 River Crossing Pkwy. Tickets: $50-individual ticket | $1,000-corporate table Keynote Speaker: Minda Dentler, athlete, speaker and polio survivor. As the first female wheelchair athlete to complete the Ironman World Championship after being paralyzed from the hips down by polio, Minda will share her amazing journey to accomplishing what she was told would be impossible.

Get it at Jan’s Village Pizza, Westfield Ingredients: • 1 scoop rainbow sherbet • 4 oz. riesling • Whipped cream • Maraschino Cherry Directions: Add ice cream to glass and pour wine, then top with whipped cream and a maraschino cherry.

DISPATCH CSO presents Side by Side concert — The Carmel Symphony Orchestra will carry on a tradition of presenting family friendly programming with a Side by Side concert at 4 p.m. March 22 in the Palladium at the Center for the Performing Arts, presented by Clay Township. Side by Side was started by CSO Music Director Janna Hymes in 2017 to allow aspiring musicians to play alongside their professional counterparts. Under the direction of Hymes, the concert will feature the Carmel High School Symphony Orchestra and Cooper Olsen, winner of the 2019 CSO Young Artist Competition. Olsen is an eighth-grade student from Bloomington. The program includes Bernstein’s “Candide Overture,” Saint-Saens’ “Violin Concerto No. 3 in B minor,” Op. 61, Mvt. III,” Mendelssohn’s “Sinfonia No. 2 in D major” and Tchaikovsky’s “Symphony No. 4, Mvt. IV.” Tickets for are available at CarmelSymphony.org or thecenterpresents.org.

March 17, 2020

LIFESTYLE

Current in Geist geistcurrent.com

An impressive Buddhist stupa in the mountains Commentary by Don Knebel One of the most impressive Buddhist structures in the United States is in the picturesque foothills of the Rocky TRAVEL Mountains, about 45 miles northwest of Fort Collins, Colo. In 1959, a 21-year-old Buddhist named Chögyam Trungpa fled Tibet and eventually ended up in the United States, where he became famous for his Shambhala Vision, in which people of any religion can seek enlightenment. In 1974, he founded Naropa University in Boulder, Colo., the first accredited Buddhist university in the United States. He gained a large number of devotees, including beat poet Allen Ginsburg. Before he died in 1987, Chögyam Trungpa founded a number of meditation centers, including one on 552 acres near Red Feather Lakes, Colo., now known as the Shambhala Mountain Center. Upon Chögyam Trungpa’s death at age 48, his followers decided to honor his memory with a stupa, a mound-like structure originally designed to hold relics of the Buddha. The result was a 108-foot-tall stupa that has become the centerpiece of the Shambhala Mountain Center. The Great Stupa of Dharmakaya Which Liberates Upon Seeing was consecrated in 2001 after 14 years of con-

was cremated. Upper sections, closed to the public, contain other representations of the Buddha and remains of important Buddhist teachers. The Shambhala Mountain Center, which includes about 35,000 square feet of space for lodging, eating and meditation, is a popular location for spiritual retreats. Don Knebel is a local resident who works for Barnes & Thornburg LLP. For the full column visit donknebel. com. You may contact him at editorial@youarecurrent.com.

The Great Stupa of Dharmakaya, near Red Feather Lakes, Colo. (Photo by Don Knebel)

struction, at a cost of $2.7 million. The overall shape of the three-level stupa, formed from concrete reportedly designed to last 1,000 years, suggests a crowned Buddha, meditating while sitting on a throne. Un-

like most stupas, the lower section, which includes a 20-foot-tall statue of a seated Buddha, is open to the public. At the heart of the golden statue is the entire skull and part of the spine of Chögyam Trungpa, who

Arr! There are snakes on a pirate ship Commentary by Curtis Honeycutt I think we can solve many of life’s problems by playing out theoretical battles between the opposing groups. For instance, when someone deGRAMMAR GUY cides to make his March Madness picks based on theoretical mascot matchups, he usually ends up with the Michigan State Spartans as the tournament champions. This isn’t a bad pick; the Spartans are a perennial Final Four team. How about werewolves against vampires? Does “Battlestar Galactica” beat bears? Hufflepuff or Gryffindor? DC versus Marvel? There are so many good matchups to entertain. In this case, we need to think about snakes versus pirates. Why in the world do we need to play out this battle? First of all, I know my friend Byron is going to read this and he hates snakes, but his favorite baseball team is the Pittsburgh Pirates. Secondly, we can clear up a big grammar gaffe by

thinking about pirates and snakes. It’s time to talk about “there is” and “there are.” Increasingly, I’ve heard people throwing around “there is” or “there’s” when they ought to say, “there are.” Does this matter? Of course! After all, singular subjects need singular verbs; likewise, plural subjects get plural verbs. This is called subject-verb agreement. However, with a subject like “there,” how do we know if the subject is singular or plural? Let’s use an example: There is/are many ways to get to this afternoon’s drum circle. But, wait a second: “There” can’t possibly be the subject, can it? No, it’s not. In fact, the subject is “ways,” although it’s not clear when we’re beginning the sentence. Think of it this way: There are = pirates. Pirates say, “Arrrrr!” There is = snake. A snake says, “Hssss!” One snake is singular. Multiple pirates are plural. Let’s substitute “there” with “snake” and then “pirates” into our sentence: Snake is many ways to get to this afternoon’s drum circle. Pirates are many ways to get to this afternoon’s drum

circle. Although they both sound ridiculous, “pirates” sounds better. Here’s another way to figure out which verb to take - turn it into a question. Is/are there many ways to get to this afternoon’s drum circle? In this case, you would rightly say, “Are there many ways to get to this afternoon’s drum circle?” A snake (which goes hssss!) is singular. Pirates (who go arrrr!) are plural. There is = singular. There are = plural. In a battle between one snake and a crew of pirates, I’d put my doubloons on the pirates; one snake couldn’t possibly take a whole pirate posse down. Pirates beat snakes. There’s plenty of room for argument here.

Curtis Honeycutt is a national award-winning, syndicated humor writer. Connect with him on Twitter (@curtishoneycutt) or at curtishoneycutt.com.

CITY OF FISHERS ADVISORY PLAN COMMISSION & CITY COUNCIL NOTICE OF PUBLIC HEARING RZ-19-13 ANX-19-10 NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that a public hearing will be held by the City of Fishers Advisory Plan Commission at 6:00PM, Wednesday, April 1st and a subsequent public hearing will be held for voluntary annexation by the City of Fishers City Council at 7:00 PM, Monday, April 20th in the Fishers City Hall building, One Municipal Drive, Fishers, Indiana. REQUEST: At that hearing, the public will be invited to offer comments on the following request (“Proposal”): Faegre Drinker on behalf of Platinum Properties requests a public hearing and favorable recommendation to rezone the subject properties from R-2 and ER to Planned Unit Development Residential (PUD-R); creating the Grantham PUD. Petitioner is proposing a 314-lot subdivision on 153.6 acres. Petitioner will be seeking approval of a voluntary annexation at the April 20th, 2020 City Council Meeting. The Subject property is at the northwest corner of 113th street and Southeastern Parkway, east of the Whelchel Springs. LOCATION: The Proposal is located at the corner of 113th Street and Southeastern Parkway and effects the following properties: • 16065 Southeastern Parkway/ 13-12-32-00-00-023.004 • 16000 E 113th Street/ 13-16-05-00-00-001.001 • 0 E 113th Street/ 13-16-05-00-00-004.001 • 16601 Southeastern Parkway/ 13-12-32-00-00-022.003 • 0 Southeastern Parkway/ 13-12-32-00-00-022.000 The case file about this project is available for public review in the office of the Department of Planning and Zoning, located on the 2nd floor at Fishers City Hall. The meeting agenda with room location details and case related information will be posted on the City’s website forty-eight (48) hours in advance of the meeting specified above. Written objections filed with the secretary of the Advisory Plan Commission before the hearing will be considered. If you would like your written comments to be provided to the Fishers Advisory Plan Commission, you must submit them one (1) week prior to the hearing date noted above. Oral comments will be heard during the public hearing. Department of Planning and Zoning City of Fishers 1 Municipal Drive, Fishers, IN 46038 (317) 595-3120 www.fishers.in.us

March 17, 2020

LIFESTYLE

Current in Geist geistcurrent.com

Across 1. Switch words 6. Similar 10. Ratio phrase 14. Song syllables 15. Whip up 16. Resembling a noisy Lucas Oil Stadium crowd 17. Wax-and-dye technique 18. Pinnacle 19. White River angler’s aid 20. Old WTHR late-night transmissions 23. Courtney’s Kitchen cooking vessel 26. Napleton auto import 27. Some cookies 28. Unkempt 31. “It’s c-c-cold!” 33. Hamilton County Sheriff’s forensic ID 34. Floor installer 35. Like this answer 38. Most aged occupant at St. Vincent Hospital 42. Apple’s digital storage service 43. Current setting 45. Nile viper 48. Ulna’s place 49. The whole shebang

50. Blueprint 1 2 data 14 52. Dirt + water 54. Slangy 17 refusal 55. Least lengthy route 23 24 60. Aviation prefix 28 61. Near-prime seating at The 34 Palladium 38 62. Anthem rival 66. Eye part 67. Go ___ detail 45 46 68. IMPD 50 stunner 69. Meadows 55 70. Office-inappropriate, in 60 web lingo 66 71. Mar. 17 honoree found in the 69 puzzle’s circles Down 1. Wagering option, initially 2. Gun rights org. 3. Cheerios grain 4. Dart about 5. Counterfeit

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6. Fine fiddle 7. Butler frat letter 8. Fishers furniture store chain 9. On deck

With Honorary Co-Chairs

Mayor John Ditslear from the City of Noblesville Mayor Jim Brainard from the City of Carmel Mayor Jim Brainard from the City of Carmel Mayor Mayor Andy Andy Cook Cook from from the the City City of of Westfield Westfield Mayor Scott Fadness from the City of Fishers Mayor Scott Fadness from the City of Fishers Janus provides individuals with disabilities the opportunity to participate and contribute within the community. TTo reserve your place at the breakfast, please contact Patty Steffen

at 317-773-8781, ext. 100 or psteffen@janus-inc.org

JANUS Life Skills for People with Disabilities

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10. Sicker 11. Went bad 12. Stimulant 13. Texas city 21. Blue hue 22. Twisting force 23. LA winter hrs. 24. Fishers N-S Road 25. I-90 charge 29. Spa offering 30. Like some concrete slabs 31. State Rep. Barrett 32. Decompose 35. Itty-bitty bit 36. PC’s brain 37. Religious faction 39. 35mm camera option 40. Element #10 41. Ciao! 44. Immediately 45. Lambaste 46. Round figure in a Noblesville HS geometry class 47. Bradley University site 49. Wyo. neighbor 51. Crucifix 52. Weekdays, for short 53. Violin stroke 56. “___ go bragh!” 57. Mama’s boys 58. Skin pics 59. Pacers foe 63. 1/6 of an oz. 64. Teachers’ org. 65. Part of IMA Answers on Page 23

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HONORARY CO-CHAIRS: Mayor Chris Jensen from the City of Noblesville