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317.489.4444 Managing Editor – Kevin Kane kevin@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 ext. 204 Associate Editor – Terry Anker terry@currentincarmel.com Art Director – Zachary Ross zach@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 Associate Artist – Andrea Nickas andrea@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 Cartoonist – Tim Campbell tim@currentincarmel.com

OUR VIEWS

It is our position that Lockheed Martin should not have received approval from the U.S. to sell F-16 fighter jets to Iraq. The F-16 Fighting Falcon has been the United States Air Force’s workhorse in the skies since 1978 – and the key to our superiority in the air. Recently, the federal government approved the sale of the second of two batches of 18 F-16’s to Iraq, making for a total of 36 units. While we recognize the progress Iraq has made in providing security for its people, we feel that as a government Iraq is far too unstable to be receiving weapons and aircraft of the caliber we are allowing them. In recent years, we’ve faced enemies trained by the U.S. firing rocket propelled grenades at our troops that were at times also provided by the U.S. A rocket propelled grenade is powerful and deadly, but pales in comparison to the destructive power of a $20 million aircraft that travels up to 1,500 mph capable of delivering 17,000 pound payloads. This sale was a bad idea and we hope to never be facing these planes as enemy weaponry one day.

Year-round school

It is our position that the balanced school calendar Indianapolis Public Schools has instituted is innovative, and should be adopted by school systems in Hamilton County. The theory behind the balanced calendar is that more frequent breaks refresh both students and teachers, and prevents the tedium of re-teaching after longer breaks. Yes, school would have to begin even earlier in August, and would not dismiss for the summer until mid-June. However, the trade-off is a two-week fall break (instead of two days), a week for Thanksgiving break (instead of two days), the usual two-week winter holiday break, and two weeks off for spring break. Families inclined to travel or vacation during their children’s school holidays will find they have many more options with a balanced calendar. Also, enrichment classes can be offered during the longer breaks, providing stimulation for children who want the opportunity for hands-on experiences. The agrarian calendar is a dinosaur and should be retired. Warren Township Schools has successfully used the balanced calendar for several years, and next year Lawrence and Washington Township Schools will go to the new schedule. Hamilton County schools need to embrace this exciting concept and switch to a balanced calendar.

The views in these editorials are of reader participants. They do not represent those of Current Publishing ownership and management.

Advertising Senior Sales Executive – Dennis O’Malia dennis@youarecurrent.com / 370.0749

Business Office Bookkeeper – Heather Cole heather@youarecurrent.com / 489.4444 Publisher – Brian Kelly brian@youarecurrent.com / 414.7879 General Manager – Steve Greenberg steve@youarecurrent.com / 847.5022 The views of the columnists in Current In Carmel are their own and do not necessarily reflect the positions of this newspaper.

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strange laws V E C TO R BU T TO N S . CO M V E C TO R BU T TO N S . CO M

CONSTITUTION CLOSEUP

Photo Illustration

Our nation has all sorts of arcane, nonsensical laws on the books. Each week, we’ll share one with you. In South Berwick, Maine, it is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts.. Source: dumblaws.com

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Every week, we will print a portion of the U.S. Constitution, followed by a portion of the Indiana Constitution. We encourage you to benchmark government policies against these bedrock documents. Today: the U.S. Constitution. Article. I. Section. 5. Clause 3: Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal. Clause 4: Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without

Current in Carmel

the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be

sitting. Section. 6. Clause 1: The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. (See Note 6) They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, beprivileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

December 20, 2011 | 3

FROM THE BACKSHOP Some different ‘twists’ on old favorites

cozy winter,

AND LEAVE THE CHORES TO US!

In the spirit of the season, we have taken the liberty of, well, rewriting a couple of our favorite holiday tunes, which we’ve been hearing on the radio since, approximately, Flag Day. It wouldn’t be us if we didn’t do this, right? You decide the key, and then please sign along. Ready? We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a stress-free Christmas We wish you an independent Christmas and a Happy New Year. No new taxes in ’12 for you and your kin, How about a third party for a Happy New Year? Oh, bring us some fiscal reform, Oh, bring us the end of unions, Don’t bring us Obama health care, but we’ll take your best beer. We want non-profits fully funded, We want social programs limited, We want order from this chaos, so we all can cheer. (Truly, to you and yours from the Current Publishing family …) We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Rousing, we believe you’ll agree. Now, gather together once more, again select your key, and really belt out our “tribute” to Hamilton County’s greatest commitment to improved traffic flow. Ready? Go!

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We hope your holidays are everything you wish them to be. Everyone, be safe out there and keep your spirits bright! ••• As a result of postal holidays, the next two editions will be delivered Dec. 24 (Dec. 27 issue) and Dec. 31 (Jan. 3 issue). We’ll be back to Tuesday delivery on Jan. 10.

INDEPENDENT & ASSISTED LIVING • MEMORY CARE

What’s correct with e-mail? COMMENTARY By Terry Anker Haste makes waste. Measure twice and cut once. Both expressions, common enough to be cliché, remind us of the perils of under-thinking and over-acting. But, where is the balance? In the modern age of instant communication and comments that can’t be taken back, many of us have been the victim of our own hasty “Reply to all,” and some off-handed remark intended only for one is distributed to the entire office. The passing irritation becomes a point of contention. The snide quip exchanged between friends becomes a careless and unnecessary misunderstanding lacking both the context of the relationship the sender had with the intended recipient and their shared perspective. Yet in a world where busy folks can expect to receive dozens (if not hundreds) of telephone calls, faxes, e-mails and texts each day, how can we manage volume without failing in accuracy and intention? Some would advise that we should restrict our communication to only the professional and antiseptic. Does this approach

4 | December 20, 2011

allow for the most effective and authentic style of building deep and lasting relationships? Restraining comment might best avoid an unintentional HIPAA transgression, but does it preclude us from connecting in the greatest human and intimate of ways? If we restrict our communication to remarks sanitized and “fully vetted by legal,” have we, in insulating ourselves from risk, insulated ourselves from others? In this past year, our e-mail service counts my sent messages well into five figures. Of those, at least one ended up in the hands of the unintended. Perhaps many others could have been more thoughtfully expressed. But is it better to communicate honestly, even if not entirely empathetically? Is the risk of a misplaced word too great to ignore? Or is the real waste not in the haste of the reply, but in not replying at all?

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Terry Anker is an associate editor of Current Publishing, LLC. You may e-mail him at terry@ currentincarmel.com.

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READERS’ VIEWs

Twelve days of

Payne needs to answer some questions Editor, Regarding your article “Pulled Apart” from the Dec. 13 issue, I have some questions I would like to see answered. As a taxpayer, I would like to know why DCS and other governmental organizations would push to create and utilize an organization such as The Cherish Center that requires $30,000 in public money to operate on a yearly basis when there is an organization such as Chaucie’s Place that is better funded privately at a 2.5:1 rate and, as stated by Hamilton County Prosecutor Lee Buckingham, produces results that are no different in quality. Additionallly, Department of Child Services Director Jim Payne said the two organizations “were unwilling to think children were more important.” Could not the same be said about Mr. Payne and DCS? It appears he would rather hold DCS back from participating in mediating the very issues his organization is responsible for with Chaucie’s Place. I would be interested to

hear what Mr. Payne’s motivations are for refusing to help the Westfield Police Department in their cases for children in need in conjunction with Chaucie’s Place. I would be interested in hearing how that is “thinking that the children in those cases are more important.” In the interest of fairness and disclosure, I do have family members that volunteer at Chaucie’s Place, but I am not directly connected with the organization. I do have knowledge of the organization, but am not privy to the political background of the disagreement that led to this split. Regardless, I have difficulty understanding, as a taxpayer connected to either organization, how it makes sense on the surface for DCS to make the decision they made and continue to support going forward when there is a similar and of equal quality solution already present and available with better funding. Please, Mr. Payne, clarify how this makes sense. Mark Clark, 46032

Christmas

Weight limits had to be changed Editor, In the Dec. 6 edition of Current in Carmel, a Mr. Charles Lane was voicing concerns about the removal of the 5,000 pound weight limit signs along 106th Street, east of Keystone. It’s not often government can garner kudos for anticipating a problem before a resident. However, in this case, the City Council passed, unanimously, my ordinance D-2063-11 on Nov. 21. The ordinance places a 10,001 pound vehicle weight limit on that section of 106th Street.

The old limit of 5,000 pounds was obsolete, as an Escalade weighs more than 5,000 pounds. But, except for local deliveries, the limit is now 10,001. To put this in perspective, a fully loaded gravel truck weighs 80,000 pounds and, speeding along next to a school crossing, creates a situation that had to be changed. In my last conversation with the street commissioner, the signs were on order. Luci Snyder City Council – District 5

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DISPATCHES » Songbook competition launches search – The Michael Feinstein Great American Songbook Initiative sponsors the only high school vocal academy and competition in the U.S. dedicated solely to the music from Broadway, Hollywood musicals and the Tin Pan Alley era of the early to mid-20th century. The Great American Songbook Vocal Academy and Competition is now accepting student applications. The competition is June 12 through 16. Students from across the country will participate in a competitive audition process for the chance to attend two-day regional music academies and competitions. The first place winner wins $3,000 and the chance to sing in New York City with fivetime Grammy Award nominee Michael Feinstein. Interested students can apply at www.feinsteininitiative.org. » Officers installed – The Hamilton County Federated Republican Women’s Club officers were installed earlier this month by outgoing president Connie Pearson. The newly elected officers are: Karen Williams Pryor, president; Kim Wood, first vice president; Kathy Richardson, second vice president; Susan Beckwith, secretary and Janet Jaros, treasurer. Pryor, as president, will represent the club locally, statewide and nationally. » Students raising money – Orchard Park Elementary is celebrating its 25th anniversary, and to celebrate, students are working to raise $25,000 to install an all-weather outdoor walking track on the school grounds. Through a service learning and letter writing campaign, students have already raised nearly $14,000 but are asking community members for help in raising the last $9,000. If interested in contributing, contact Jennifer Penix at 258-5665 or Jennifer@Punkaboo.com. » Kiwanis Club delivers shoes – This year’s annual contribution of gym shoes by the Carmel Golden K Kiwanis Club took place earlier this month. The club provided 121 pairs to needy Carmel elementary students. This brings the cumulative total for the Gym Shoe Project, which began in 1995, to 2,549 pairs. » Mail letters to Santa – Santa and Mrs. Claus will be at the Santa house at Range Line Road and Main Street from 2:30 to 5:30 p.m. this Saturday. Additionally, the Santa Mailbox will be by the ArtSplash Gallery at 111 W. Main St. through Friday. Each letter will be personally answered and mailed back to each child.

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Brokering a Christmas compromise COMMENTARY By Danielle Wilson When my husband and I were first married, holidays were a struggle. We both come from large families with very specific traditions. I grew up with Scotch pines, Christmas Eve skits, and English fruitcake. Doo remembers Fraser firs, reading The Night Before Christmas, and chocolate pots-de-crèmes. Initially, the only “thing” we had in common was the big, multi-colored lights that burned tiny hands with their safety-hazard heat. It was a start, and we survived our first few Decembers without counseling. But when we began having kids, tensions grew. With whom would we actually spend Christmas? Whose traditions would we follow? At the heart of the matter, whose family was better? Thirteen years later, we still are having to tweak our Wilson-Morris melding of holiday cheer (though I contend that live theater is far better than a book reading! Bite me, Wilsons!). Take – for instance – tinsel. I clearly remember my parents bickering over the damn stuff, my mom clumping it on the branches just to be done with the whole tree-trimming mess, and my dad following around behind her barking, “You can’t just throw it on, Patty! You have to lay it carefully, strand by strand!” As a result of their annual battle, I have a hard time looking at Christmas trees without tinsel; they look naked. It seems wrong. Doo unfortunately did not experience the

magic of tinsel, and when I suggested it for our first tree together, he scoffed at the idea. So we compromised. Every other year would be a tinsel year. 2011? Tinsel! And yet Doo behaved like a child when I broke it out last week and instructed my little elves on its proper application. (No clumping, one strand per branch. Don’t screw it up!) I was bombarded with snide comments like, “Well, the tree looked good a minute ago,” and “We’ll be finding this crap in July!” Really? Are we not passed this yuletide pettiness? No, we are not. But that’s the thing about marriage. It really doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. Compromise will always play a leading role regardless of how well you communicate. And holidays especially will be trying as deeply ingrained expectations vie for top billing. My best advice? Choose the ones that are most important to you, retire lame ones (like pots-de-crèmes), and begin new traditions unique to your family. After all, you must ensure your own kids get saddled with cultish customs that no partner will ever understand, thereby laying the groundwork for perpetual holiday disharmony. Peace out!

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Danielle Wilson is a Carmel resident and contributing columnist. You may e-mail her at danielle@ currentincarmel.com.

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Ethan Sickels and Andrew Jones give new meaning to ‘small business owners.’ By Kevin Kane kevin@youarecurrent.com Child-run businesses are not uncommon, as few communities are without neighborhood lemonade stands or the occasional low-budget carwash. Clay Middle School sixth graders Ethan Sickels and Andrew Jones have run businesses just like these, but this 12-year-old duo often takes its entrepreneurial endeavors to the next level. Even in running the standard kid businesses, these two are ahead of the curve. The carwash they operated this past summer, for example, offered punch cards and significant discounts to returning customers, which they said resulted in a lucrative two weeks during their summer break. Now, however, they’re spending up to an hour a day – after school and sports – on their next venture: publishing. But it’s what the two are publishing that makes their story even more unique. Jones and Sickels own and operate EAstocks.com, a site on which they post their personal stock tips and other financial articles. Though they write for adults, too, many of the articles are geared specifically toward other kids in hopes that they, too, will develop an interest in investments. Their own interests in the stock market were piqued only a matter of weeks ago, when after learning about stocks in school, their class conducted a life simula-

tion in which students could invest or spend their pretend dollars any way they wished. Naturally, Sickels and Jones put theirs into stocks. “We’ve always had an interest in making money,” Sickels said. Since then, they’ve continued researching companies on their own and are now attempting to turn this knowledge and passion into a profit. Using their site is free, but it only contains a portion of the articles they produce. The rest are published every six weeks in 15-page magazine printed on cardstock and bound by staples. The boys charge $2 per issue or $12 for a yearlong subscription. Their second issue was scheduled to be delivered yesterday – some by hand and others by mail. But not every page is filled with editorial content. Their first issue included a full-page ad from Butler Hyundai, and asked how they landed such an account, Jones simply said “Connections.” They later elaborated, sharing that Sickels has a pretty significant “in” with the company: his father, Scott Sickels, who is its general manager. “Ethan came to me and proposed (the ad),” Scott Sickels said. “And for a dollar a page, I thought it was a pretty good deal.” In addition to selling more ads for both

their publications and the Web site, the two also are working to increase their circulation. But because their own busy schedules put time in short supply, they’ve recently added employees to give them a hand. Recently hired were Sickels’ younger sister, Reilly, and neighbor Grace Hackett, who also is a classmate of the two. They weren’t just handed jobs, though; Sickels said both were required to first apply for their respective positions before being brought in for individual interviews. “Heck yeah!” Sickels said when asked if he really made his younger sister interview to work with his company. However, the new employees are more like co-owners. Yes, they are paid, but Sickels said the amount depends on the business’ recent numbers. “When we have a bad month, so do their checks,” he said. That’s why these new employees are eager to sell new subscriptions, even going door to door in the Sickels’ neighborhood. Aside from that, Scott Sickels said Jones and his son do the rest, including generating and researching topics for their articles. He provided some initial capital for the two and still plays chauffer when needed, but the boys said they intend to pay back these startup costs and become financially self-sufficient in the very near future. As for long-term plans, they said they are working to increase their readership and make their online and print products look more professional. When it comes to very distant, postcollege plans, the two both said they foresee themselves as small-business owners, ideally in the same line of work they’re in now.

other endeavors Aside from their Web site and recently launched magazine, Ethan Sickels and Andrew Jones also are working on a number of books, including a fiction series and a how-to book on starting a small business.

Contact them: www.eastocks.com ewsickels@eastocks.com andrewmjones@eastocks.com www.youarecurrent.com

From left, Ethan Sickels and Andrew Jones

Current in Carmel

December 20, 2011 | 9

Celebrating a life of achievement COMMENTARY By Jeff Worrell I expect five to 10, maybe 15 years from now, I will fondly remember the day I witnessed the Carmel Chamber of Commerce make history. Remembering way back when, on the 15th day of December in 2011, the special luncheon where, for the first time ever, the Carmel Chamber recognized a very special individual for a lifetime of achievement. I hope I can recollect the feelings I felt, as a room full of grateful business professionals paused to recognize one of their own for the exceptional business life he has lived. The first ever Award for Lifetime Achievement was presented to Harold Kaiser because, some 41 years prior, he was a key initiator with a vision to start the Carmel Chamber of Commerce. Not only is he the first recipient, but forever more, future awardees will carry home a symbol of their own achievement bearing his name, as it shall now be known as the Harold Kaiser Award for Lifetime Achievement. Harold first tried to start a Chamber in 1960 but with a population of only 1,442, Harold and his business friends decided there were not enough merchants to support a Chamber. So they waited another 10 years until the census exploded to 6,568 citizens and tried again. This time, the Carmel Clay Chamber of Commerce was born and has

been a fundamental partner in the success of Carmel’s development ever since. Harold grew up in the Cicero/Arcadia area, married his wife of 70 years and moved to Carmel. He served in the Army during World War II and after the war worked as a postal carrier in Carmel. “There were less than 1000 people,” Harold recalls, “and hardly any new houses being built. You could cross the street without looking, because there wasn’t any traffic.” Harold left the postal service and opened an insurance and real estate office in 1958 at 30 S. Range Line Rd. In 1970, Kaiser Real Estate moved to 30 E. Main St. Harold was a volunteer for St.Vincent Carmel Hospital when it opened, and continued that commitment most of his life, retiring just last year. He has also been instrumental in starting the Hamilton County Realtors Association as well as receiving numerous awards from that industry. The new Chamber award is for lifetime achievement. I trust future recipients awarded a “Kaiser” will appreciate and be grateful for the man behind the name. Jeff Worrell is a local businessman. He recognizes volunteers on “Connecting with Carmel” on cable channel 16. Contact him at jworrell@ advantagemedical.com

Daniels gives oaths

Photo by Kevin Kane

Governor Mitch Daniels came to Carmel last week for an inauguration ceremony at the Monon Community Center during which he swore in Carmel elected officials, such as Mayor Jim Brainard, who will begin new terms in 2012.

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CarmelFest transitions to new leadership

The right frame of mind for the season COMMENTARY By Jason Peek Ah, yes, the holidays are here again and the marketers and corporations are in full swing to get you to spend your money on the most extravagant Thanksgiving and Christmas items you don’t need and probably can’t afford. Notice I actually mentioned Thanksgiving, instead of just bouncing on to Christmas like everyone else did. I don’t even think I saw a Thanksgiving commercial, and that’s not really a complaint. I always loved this time of year growing up, but as I get older and the world goes to blue blazes I find myself not so concerned with how many gifts I can buy everyone, with reminding them of what the holidays are really about. They aren’t about filling the coffers of stores and credit companies, but to be thankful for all you as a person have that is not so materialistic. I don’t remember all the gifts I got as much as I do getting together with my family for a great meal. I loved sledding and building snowmen while enjoying the lights and decorations and memories.

To me it’s more about family and what Jesus has done in my life, not Xbox 360 and my new iPhone. It’s to appreciate your country, no matter how jacked-up it is, your family and your personal growth in life. Let’s teach our kids something that lasts and matters in life, not how money buys happiness (until you get bored with your gifts). Memories and teachings last, not materialistic items. I look forward to telling God and my family how much I appreciate them and love them … but I also love my cold Blue Moon seasonal ale and a good cigar on my porch while my family is warm inside my home. Jason Peek is the owner of the Main Street Barber Shop. Want to tell him what you think? Stop in for a haircut or e-mail him at hogjawz@ sbcglobal.net.

Council rejects 911 center contract By Kevin Kane kevin@youarecurrent.com The city and Hamilton County will have to wait to finalize a deal for the handling of 911 dispatch services. In a special meeting, the City Council last week rejected a proposed five-year agreement between the two parties in which Carmel would pay the county more than $1.1 million annually to handle its 911 dispatching. The city’s communications center, the staff of which currently provides this service to Carmel residents, would become the county’s backup center, used in a similar fashion but controlled and staffed by the county. Mayor Jim Brainard said Carmel could save more than $1.5 million annually through such a deal and that state law makes the change necessary. “The state law has changed,” Brainard said. “We can have no more than two public service access points by 2014.” Brainard said the reasons for pursuing such a deal more than a year before this deadline are to ensure that Carmel’s communications center can continue to be used as it is now and to give the center’s current employees a chance to be hired by the county. Once agreed upon by both parties, the agreement would take effect 90 days later or on April 1, whichever last occurs.

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The council, however, voted against the agreement last week citing concerns over wording in the contract. Some specific concerns included ownership of equipment in the communications center, the city granting the county a lien against its future county option income tax revenue and the county’s ability to, at any time, begin using a different backup center with only 90 days’ notice. “My concern is that, at any time, they can terminate and then the building is not a secondary center anymore. I have a problem with that,” Councilwoman Luci Snyder said. “It seems like the negotiations with the county end up being heavily one-sided.” Both the council and mayor have stressed a need for a quick resolution for the center’s current employees. A few are expected to remain employed by the city, but the rest would be required to interview with the county for comparable positions paying a substantially smaller salary. Sixteen people currently work in the city’s communications center. Brainard said the city likely will retain “three or four” of them, but councilors expressed concern over the uncertainty faced by the employees who would not be in that group and the need for a quick resolution. “I’m concerned about this,” Councilman John Accetturo said. “It’s the lives of our public safety folks as well as our residents.”

already is working on CarmelFest By Kevin Kane 2012, but he said “the energy will kevin@youarecurrent.com really pick up” after the first of the Jeff Worrell wants to leave Caryear. melFest in a better state than it was Now with most of his team of in when he found it, though he volunteers in place, Worrell said he said that won’t be easy. will work to build the event that Worrell is in his 20th year on Frey is leaving behind. the CarmelFest committee and his Worrell may put his fingerprints first as chairman of the annual, Worrell on CarmelFest by moving the two-day July event. He takes over fireworks launch location to imfor former chairman Gary Frey, prove visibility, expanding the event north in who helped grow nearly every aspect of the the future, adding more performance stages event, from attendance to vendors, during his tenure. But after just four years of heading the and increasing variety in the entertainment lineup. While some of those changes may be event, Frey stepped away from his position, down the road, Worrell said he’s working – deciding a fresh perspective was needed. with Frey lending advice – to create a memo“For anyone to be in the same position for too long is not good,” Frey said. “We just have rable CarmelFest for 2012 – Carmel’s 175th anniversary. a lot of people in the community, like Jeff “Gary’s left it in great shape. He just had Worrell, who are ready to step up and be leadsome really great ideas and I think took Carers. I just thought it was time to step aside.” melFest to the next level,” Worrell said. “I’ve But the job of chairman is more than just a just been hanging around for 20 years. My title. Frey characterized the work involved as “exhausting,” adding that organizing the event goal for this whole time has been that someone steps up and makes sure that we have a takes nine months each year, working anygreat event going forward.” where from 15 to 30 hours per week. Worrell

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Upcoming Carmel meetings No Rotary meeting – Rotary Club of Carmel will not meet this week or next week. For more information, visit www.carmelrotary.com. Kiwanis meeting – Carmel Golden K Kiwanis will meet this Thursday, 10 a.m. at the American Legion Hall, 852 W. Main St. Speaker: Dr. Kent Millard, retired pastor of St. Luke’s United Methodist Church. Contact: Don Moehn, 873-1956.

Ellen Rosenthal, Pat Rooney, Ted Logan, Brady Krueger

Terry and Carolyn Anker Photos by Karl Ahlrichs

Christmas with the Ankers

Current Publishing Associate Editor Terry Anker and his wife, Carolyn, hosted their annual Christmas party at their Carmel home Dec. 10.

Mark Lubbers, Teresa Lubbers, Amy MacDowell and Indiana Supreme Court Chief Justice Randall Shepard

Plan Commission – The Carmel Plan Commission will hold its monthly meeting tonight at 6 p.m. in the council chambers of City Hall. CRC meeting – The Carmel Redevelopment Commission will hold its monthly meeting Wednesday night, 6:30 p.m. in the council chambers of City Hall.

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of it, not just a part of it,” WesterBy Kevin Kane meier said. “Special passes really cankevin@youarecurrent.com nibalize your profits.” The Monon Community Center is Westermeier added that his staff recovering more than 100 percent of predicted a temporary drop in revits costs for 2011, according to a reenue immediately after the change cent report provided by Carmel Clay went into effect, but he said revenue Parks and Recreation. never took a significant hit. CCPR recently released a series of Costs at the facility also have been financial reports for November 2011 Westermeier reduced through policy changes, showing that increases in revenue at such as creating a centralized purchasing system the MCC are outpacing increases in costs, and within the entire parks department. MCC also through 11 months, the center has a cost recovmoved from paper records to electronic time ery rate of 114 percent. clocks for its employees, which Westermeier said According to the report, the MCC fund helped increase efficiency and reduce costs. had a cash balance of $543,381 as of Dec. 31, Though a hot summer also played an impor2010. At the end of November, the balance had tant part, Westermeier said the encouraging grown by more than $520,000 to $1,064,333. numbers are largely the product of MCC’s trials The fund had a year-to-date total revenue of and errors and maturation as a business. more than $4.2 million. Its operating expenses “You learn what your staffing should be, what through November totaled more than $3.7 milhours of the day that you need people worklion, leaving a net of $519,852 for 2011. ing…” he said. “As you mature you start learn“It’s not one large thing that we’ve been doing,” said Mark Westermeier, director of Carmel ing those kinds of things.” Though the MCC is expected to have a cost Clay Parks and Recreation. “Actually, we’re doing the same thing this year that we did the year recovery rate below 100 percent for this month, Westermeier said he expects the center to end before. It just takes a long time for things to the year “at about $500,000 above cost” and a kick into gear.” final cost recovery rate of about 110 percent. A key reason for MCC’s increased revenue is As for achieving a cost recovery rate of 100 its restructured membership passes, Westermeier percent or better in subsequent years, Westersaid. Originally, users of the center were able to meier said it is a reasonable goal that he thinks purchase passes allowing them to pay a lower can be attained. Though much of the center’s price and gain access only to a few features annual success is determined by weather durwithin the entire facility. An outside consultant ing the summer months, Westermeier said new advised against this system, and since reducing features will continue to be added – like a dual its offerings of a la carte passes, the MCC’s revwave rider scheduled to be completed in the enue has increased drastically. spring – which should help attract guests even “The problem is that our building was built when weather is less than ideal. with the idea in mind that people would use all

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Generic greetings to you! “Seasons Greetings.” It irks me. I mean, I love GRAMMAR getting greetings in every season, but that isn’t the By Brandie Bohney intention of the sentiment in this case, now is it? I recently read a blog post by a Christian Specific Christmas greetings tend to have fewer blogger who was fed up with Christians who problems, unless you count spelling. And crazily insist that, “Happy Holidays,” and, “Season’s enough, I see the merry part of “Merry ChristGreetings,” are inadequate expressions of the mas” spelled incorrectly more often than the holiday season. And while her post was insightChristmas part. It seems ful and funny, that’s not Specific Christmas greetings that some people would why I’m bringing it up. I’m bringing it up be- tend to have fewer problems, really like to celebrate Mary Christmas. Sheesh. cause while I enjoyed the unless you count spelling. I will say, though, that post, I was distracted by one holiday greeting my own awareness that where it seems hard to go wrong is Hanukkah. people who use these generic greetings (which Now, I’m not Jewish, but I do know that there I am in no way opposed to, by the way) are sometimes blissfully unaware of the grammatical are several acceptable spellings of Chanukah. The reason that you can spell Hanukah several havoc they are wreaking upon the world. ways is in the origin of the word: it’s a Hebrew Take “Happy Holidays,” for example. At least word. It doesn’t have a precise English translaa half dozen times since Halloween, I have seen tion, so several spellings are considered acthis lovely multi-holiday-encompassing greeting ceptable. So Chanukkah, which begins today, written with an apostrophe: Happy Holiday’s. is one specific holiday you can feel a little less Igh. Holidays is plural in the greeting, not possessive. Therefore, no apostrophe is necessary. Please, concerned about screwing up. Well, at least in screwing up the spelling, anyhow. please, please don’t apostrophize your holidays Happy Holidays, everyone! – unless, of course, your holidays own something. The bigger offender, though, is in “Season’s Greetings.” This time, the apostrophe is necessary Brandie Bohney is a grammar (as they are the greetings of the season), but sadly, enthusiast and former English it is often left out. And it’s a very common omisteacher. If you have a grammarsion. I’ve even gotten commercially printed Christrelated question, please email her at bbthegrammarguru@gmail.com. mas cards adorned with a glaringly apostrophe-less

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The Roost The Scoop: Do you have a taste for breakfast food, even when it’s not breakfast time? Then you will definitely want to check out the Roost. A traditional-style diner with a modern flair, the Roost serves up breakfast all day, seven days a week. However, it’s not just about breakfast. The Roost also serves lunch and dinner. All recipes are made from scratch, and have that home-cooking flavor. The Roost features carryout items. Type of food: Chicken and burgers Price of entrees: $6.99 to $10.99 Specialties: Breakfast Reservations: Not accepted Smoking: Not permitted Dress: Casual

Sean Stoffle, owner and manager of Wise Guys Pizza Where do you like to dine? Muldoon’s of Carmel What do you like to eat there? They have really great salads and sandwiches. What do you like about Muldoon’s? My wife and I like to go on Sundays (in good weather). That’s when they have outdoor music. Muldoon’s is at 111 W. Main St., Suite 100 in Carmel. For more information: 571-1116 and www. muldoons.net.

Hours: 6:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Saturday and 7:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sunday. Phone: 842-3735 Website: www.sahms.com Address: 7371 E. 116th St., Fishers

The Ninth Night Ingredients: 2 oz. SKYY Infusions Citrus, 1 oz. Triple Sec, 1 oz. white cranberry juice, Lemon-lime soda, Lime juice Preperations: Combine SKYY Infusions Citrus, Triple Sec, and cranberry juice in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into tall rocks glass with fresh ice. Top with soda and lots of fresh lime juice. Garnish with blue ribbon around the glass. -www.marieclair.com

PB and Tomato Hummus Side Dish Last week (part two) I gave you the tip to use a disposable grill so you could cook tailgate food, even though you had to fly to a bowl game. Then I explained that cotton work gloves (wetted in an ice bucket) were good for turning meats on the grill. Now it’s time to talk about seating and side dishes. If you think about it, hotels have folding chairs that they set up for meetings and banquets all the time. Just look into one of the side rooms or an employee

hallway and you’ll see a stack of them. Tip FourThese can be borrowed (with or without hotel permission) and used with your rental vehicle as a complete tailgate setting. Tip Five-Use your vehicle hood or trunk for a serving table. Your last job will be to go to a party store and buy colorful disposable table cloths and napkins in school colors. Now you are set for a memorable bowl game tailgating experience.

Ingredients: • Small 16 oz. container natural peanut butter • 1 Tbsp. chopped parsley • 4 oz. diced sun dried tomatoes • 16 oz. portion of plain hummus from the deli • Pita chips (or baked tortilla chips) Directions: 1. Purchase hummus from a grocery deli and have them place it in a container larger than 16 oz. so that you can use the con-

tainer to mix the ingredients. 2. Mix in approximately 1/2 cup of the peanut butter and sun dried tomatoes. 3. Sprinkle parsley over all. 4. Serve with the chips.

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Joe Drozda is a Carmel resident and an author about sports and food. You may contact him at drozda@ tailgatershandbook.com or visit www.tailgatershandbook.com.

Current in Carmel

December 20, 2011 | 15

DISPATCHES » Travelers beware: strange foreign laws – 1. Over-the-counter medicines in the U.S. are sometimes illegal in Japan, and that includes some Vicks and Sudafed products and anything else containing pseudoephedrine. If authorities at customs catch you with such products, they may detain you. 2. Singapore puts a great deal of effort into keeping its public toilets (along with many other things) pristine. And visitors are expected to help keep them gleaming. Failure to flush may result in fines. 3. Traveling by scooter in many major cities of the Philippines has its challenges: You can get ticketed for driving in sandals or bare feet. -www.travelkit.msnbc.com » Artichokes hate wine – Artichokes can ruin a wine pairing. They have a compound called cynarin in them that basically makes wine taste awful. If you’re dead set on eating artichokes and drinking wine with them, the best option is a lightbodied, unoaked white wine like a Grüner Veltliner from Austria. But you’d be best off with beer: A nice brown ale ought to work just fine. -Food & Wine » Houseplant tips – 1. As houseplants are growing more slowly in December light, cut down on watering by half until active growth resumes. Hold off on fertilizing as well. 2. Group houseplants near each other to form a support group to cope with the low humidity of most winter homes. 3. When watering your houseplants, avoid using cold water because it may shock the plants; use tepid water. -www.almanac.com » Cruise reports released – CruiseComplete has released its Cruise Index and Cruise Trends reports for December 2011. The index was 148, a 1.4 percent increase from November, and up 2.5 percent from December 2010. The index is calculated based on the average daily per-passenger (double occupancy) cost for the lowestpriced oceanview cabin category on a seven-night cruise on the six largest North American cruise lines. The Cruise Trends report showed that Carnival, Cunard and Viking were the most popular lines in their respective categories of premium, luxury and river cruises.

16 | December 20, 2011

Top 10 reasons to run the Carmel Marathon COMMENTARY By Kim Jackson After a successful inaugural event, the Carmel Marathon Championship Weekend will return next year on April 21. Need a bit of motivation to sign up? Here are the top 10 reasons why you should consider registering for the Carmel Marathon Championship Weekend today: 10. The Carmel Marathon Fitness Expo at the Monon Community Center, free and open to the public, will feature a wide variety of sports, fitness and nutrition exhibitors. All registered participants will receive a free day pass to enjoy the Monon Community Center’s state-of-theart fitness center, indoor track and aquatics, skate park and water park. 9. Choose your own distance, from one to 26.2 miles. The Carmel Marathon Championship Weekend provides something for everyone – a full marathon, half-marathon, 8K and 1-mile family fitness walk. 8. Get a head start on your New Year’s resolution for better health habits in 2012. Register before Jan. 1 to receive the early bird rate and save $20. 7. Go sightseeing. All races will start and finish at the Palladium, with the courses passing through many of the city’s scenic neighborhoods, including the Carmel Arts and Design District, Old Town Carmel and Carmel Clay Parks. 6. Carmel-based Runners Forum is the official retailer and presenting sponsor for the halfmarathon. As part of the partnership, ASICS

will provide official Carmel Marathon Championship Weekend technical apparel to marathon, half-marathon and 8K registrants. 5. Join a St. Jude Heroes team and support St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, one of the world’s premier centers for the research and treatment of cancer and other catastrophic childhood diseases. 4. The fast, flat courses for both the marathon and half-marathon have been officially certified with USA Track and Field, and the marathon is a certified Boston qualifier event. 3. Stay close to home. The Carmel Marathon Championship Weekend is the only event in Hamilton County to offer a full marathon distance course. 2. The post-race celebration in the Center Green, adjacent to the Palladium, will include live music, award presentations, massages and vendors. 1. Train for your health. Research proves that exercise has a role in the treatment and prevention of more than 40 chronic diseases including diabetes, heart disease, obesity and hypertension. Just 30 minutes of daily physical activity, five days a week, will have positive benefits on health. Visit www.CarmelMarathon.com to learn more and register today. Kim Jackson is the director of media relations for the Carmel Road Racing Group. Reach her at media@carmelmarathon.com

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Happy Holidays!

Chris Isaak Holiday Show at the Palladium 12/9/11 COMMENTARY By Bryan Ferry His band hit the stage dressed in matching grey suits with classic thin black ties. They opened with “Beautiful Homes” as Chris Isaak runs out festively adorned with sequenced flower accents down the legs, arms and across the shoulders of a stunning red suit. He said he wore it because when he saw a ticket stub, it said it was a Holiday show. Immediately, it was obvious by his movements, equipment and sound that Chris was heavily influenced by the Rockabilly greats like Presley and Orbison. His band, dubbed “Silvertone” (the name of Chris’s first guitar) features Roly Salley on the bass guitar, Scotty Plunk on keys, Hershel Yatovitz on lead guitar, and Kenney Dale Johnson on the drums and the entire band contributed some backing vocals. For me, it truly is amazing to hear a drummer who can play so well and sing solid backup vocals. The set was very clean and linear, with an old time radio show atmosphere complete with three risers outlined in adjustable LED lighting that would change colors depending on the mood at the moment. There were also four-oversized light cans like you would see on a 1950s era movie set above the keys, drums and percussion risers. After scorching though classic Isaak tunes, “Somebody’s Crying”, “San Francisco Days” and “Wicked Games” that were intermixed with some fantastic remakes of Holiday classics like “Blue Christmas”, “Rudolph”, “Hey Santa” and “All I Want” the set was transformed into a replica of the Memphis Sun Studio. The same studio where Chris’ most influential artists got their start, and where he recorded his latest album. The second set included songs like “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash, “Dixie Fried” by Carl Perkins, “Great Balls of Fire” by Jerry Lee Lewis and Elvis Presley’s

THANKS FOR ANOTHER GREAT YEAR!

“Fools Rush in”. He even threw in a classic Elvis hip thrust, that made the girls swoon. Chris really engaged the crowd from jokes about Hershel and the “creepy dancing electric Santa” on stage to a more heartfelt moment when he described a song he wrote called “Washington Square” which he sang as a tribute to soldiers still fighting for our country on foreign lands. As with every show that I have seen at the Palladium, Chris also emphasized what an amazing venue it was, with perfect sound and a classic look. Having more than 25 years in the music industry, the passion and fervor Chris has for the influences in his life, hasn’t waned one bit. He easily conveys a happy message along with a solid performance, breathing life into songs, sung originally by “his heroes” that he listened to on 45s in the living room of his parent’s home growing up in Stockton, Calif.

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Bryan Ferry is no stranger to music. Having the privilege to play in several bands from college to today has evolved not only his appreciation for music varieties but encouraged his passion for the arts. There isn’t a style he won’t listen to, at least once. Bryan lives in Carmel with his wife, Rachel and two children. Bryan’s love for music is contagious and his son is currently mastering the cello while his daughter is usually singing any chance she can get.

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Views | Community | Cover Story | Education | Diversions | Panache | Toys | In Spirit | Anti-Aging | Dough | Inside & Out | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds OPEN SATURDAYS Today – Continue a family tradition and take a hayride to the field to choose and cut your own Christmas tree during Stonycreek Farm’s Country Christmas, 11366 Ind. 38 East, Noblesville. You will also find a wide selection of freshly cut trees, fresh wreaths and garland at the greenhouse. Sip hot cider and browse through the gift shop featuring custom-made wreaths and other unique items. For more information, call 7733344 or visit www.stonycreekfarm.net.

Now to Jan. 7, 2012 – Grab your golden ticket as Civic Theatre presents Roald Dahl’s “Willy Wonka” at The Tarkington, 3 Center Green, Carmel. Performances are 7 p.m. Wednesday through Friday, 2 and 7 p.m. Saturday and 2 p.m. Sunday with no shows on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Join Charlie Bucket and his quirky cohorts on a tantalizing tour of the mysterious candy-maker’s fantastical factory. For more information, call 8433800 or visit www.civictheatre.org.

Now to Dec. 31 – Tempt your taste buds as you stroll through a wonderland of gingerbread creations in all shapes and sizes at Gingerbread Village at Conner Prairie, 13400 Allisonville Rd., Fishers. Guests can visit the Science Lab for some gingerbread-themed experiments. Gingerbread village will be open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday and 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday. For more information, call 776-6006 or visit www.connerprairie.org.

Dec. 31 – Start your New Year’s resolution to get in shape with “Race to the New Year” at Cool Creek Park, 2000-1 151st St., Westfield. The Hamilton County Parks and Recreation Department is partnering with Washington Township Parks and Recreation and Westfield Parks and Recreation for this 5th Annual 5K walk and run. Awards will be given in seven age groups. Registration begins at 8:15 a.m. with the race starting at 9:30 a.m. For more information, call 574-9450.

LIVE MUSIC Mickey’s Irish Pub, 13644 N. Meridian St. For more information call 573-9746. Friday – Toy Factory Saturday – None Mo’s Irish Pub, 13193 Levinson Lane in the Hamilton Town Center, Noblesville. For more

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FILING – TAKING THE FIRST STEP Divorce is often cited as the second most stressful event in an individual’s life, only behind the loss of a close family member. If you have to go through a divorce, however, being educated on how the dissolution process works can help you through this difficult time. When you know what to expect during your divorce, you can begin to take control of your future. At HOLLINGSWORTH & ZIVITZ, P.C., we pride ourselves in providing our clients the knowledge and tools to cope with the process of a divorce. We would like to provide you with the same opportunity by introducing you to part one of an eleven part series entitled “Divorce – What to Expect.” Over the next year, we will discuss various aspects of the divorce process, including the following topics: What Happens Immediately After Filing, Child Custody and Parenting Time, Child Support, Property Division, Maintenance/Alimony, Options to Resolve Your Case Prior to Trial, Going to Court, Modification of Custody, Modification of Child Support, and How Much Will My Case Cost. We begin our series with “Filing.” Filing a Verified Petition for Dissolution is the first step in the legal process of getting a divorce. The filing fee – the cost paid to the county to open a divorce case – is approximately $150.00 depending upon the county. The Petition includes the name of the parties, when they were married, if there were children born of the marriage, and other basic information. In the Petition, the reason for the dissolution is often cited as the

18 | December 20, 2011

Current in Carmel

marriage has been “irretrievably broken and should be dissolved.” The Petition typically does not contain a listing of complaints or specific allegations concerning the non-filing spouse. The filing party must have resided in Indiana for six months and the county where the Petition is to be filed for three months prior to the filing of the dissolution proceeding. Upon filing, the case is assigned a “cause number” and all future proceedings will take place in the same court, with limited exceptions. After the Petition has been filed, the next step is to “serve” the non-filing spouse, which means providing formal notification that the Petition has been filed. This can be completed via Sheriff, certified mail, or a voluntary acknowledgment by the non-filing spouse. Once service has been completed, it is customary to establish the “ground rules” which will govern certain aspects of the parties’ conduct during the pendency of the divorce, such as custody of children, parenting time, possession of the marital residence and payment of marital expenses. These issues are referred to as “provisional Issues” and will be the subject of our next column. At HOLLINGSWORTH & ZIVITZ, P.C., our team has the experience, the understanding, and the compassion to assist with your family law needs. If you have questions or concerns regarding divorce, custody, support, or any other family law concerns contact our firm at 317.569.2200 or hzlegal.com Stay tuned for the next installment of “Divorce-What to Expect” by HOLLINGSWORTH & ZIVITZ, P.C.

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Christmas recipes Smoky Potato Rounds

Brie Cherry Pastry Cups INGREDIENTS: • 1 sheet frozen puff pastry, thawed • 1/2 cup cherry preserves • 4 ounces Brie cheese, cut into 1/2inch cubes • 1/4 cup chopped pecans or walnuts • 2 tablespoons minced chives DIRECTIONS: Unfold puff pastry; cut into 36 squares. Gently press squares onto the bottoms of 36 greased miniature muffin cups. Bake at 375° for 10 minutes. Using the end of a wooden spoon handle, make a 1/2-in.-deep indentation in the center of each. Bake 6-8 minutes longer or until golden brown. With spoon handle, press squares down again. Spoon a rounded 1/2 teaspoonful of preserves into each cup. Top with cheese; sprinkle with nuts and chives. Bake for 3-5 minutes or until cheese is melted. Yield: 3 dozen.

INGREDIENTS: • 2 large baking potatoes • 1/3 cup barbecue sauce • 1/2 cup shredded cheese • 6 bacon strips • 1/2 cup sour cream • 3 green onions, thinly sliced DIRECTIONS: Scrub and pierce potatoes. Bake at 375° for 45 minutes or until almost tender. When cool enough to handle, cut each potato widthwise into 1/2-in. slices. Place on a greased baking sheet. Brush with barbecue sauce; sprinkle with cheese and bacon. Bake for 8-10 minutes or until potatoes are tender and cheese is melted. Top with sour cream and onions. Yield: 1-1/2 dozen.

Mozzarella Tomato Tartlets INGREDIENTS: • 1 garlic clove, minced • 1 tablespoon olive oil • 1-1/2 cups seeded chopped tomatoes • 3/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese • 1/2 teaspoon dried basil • 24 frozen miniature phyllo tart shells • 6 pitted ripe olives • Grated Parmesan cheese DIRECTIONS: In a small skillet, saute garlic in oil for 1 minute. Add the tomatoes; cook until liquid has evaporated. Remove from the heat; stir in the mozzarella cheese, basil and pepper. Spoon 1 teaspoonful into each tart shell. Top each with an olive piece; sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Place on an ungreased baking sheet. Bake at 450° for 5-8 minutes or until bubbly. Yield: 2 dozen.

Roasted Red Pepper Triangles INGREDIENTS: • 2 tubes (8 ounces each) refrigerated crescent rolls • 1-1/2 cups finely diced fully cooked ham • 1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Swiss cheese • 1 package (3 ounces) sliced pepperoni, chopped • 8 slices provolone cheese • 1 jar (12 ounces) roasted sweet red peppers, well drained and cut into strips • 4 eggs • 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese • 3 teaspoons Italian salad dressing mix DIRECTIONS: Unroll one tube of crescent dough into a long rectangle; press onto the bottom and 3/4 in. up the sides of a greased 13-in. x 9-in. baking dish. Seal seams and perforations. Top with half of the ham;

layer with Swiss cheese, pepperoni, provolone cheese and remaining ham. Top with red peppers. In a small bowl, whisk the eggs, Parmesan cheese and salad dressing mix; set aside 1/4 cup. Pour remaining egg mixture over peppers. On a lightly floured surface, roll out remaining crescent dough into a 13-in. x 9-in. rectangle; seal seams and perforations. Place over filling; pinch edges to seal. Cover and bake at 350° for 30 minutes. Uncover; brush with reserved egg mixture. Bake 20-25 minutes longer or until crust is golden brown. Cool on a wire rack for 5 minutes. Cut into triangles. Serve warm. Yield: 2 dozen.

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December 20, 2011 | 19

Your sofa as a little black dress DECORATING By Vicky Earley My little black dress concept of decorating is perfect for those who like many styles and avoid style commitment due to fear. A solid foundation to a room is the perfect setting for building an interior fashion statement when the sofa is the dress and the pillows are the jewelry! Finding the perfect little black sofa is essential. Patterned textiles need not apply for this job! Solid color with a fine texture is your best choice. Too nubby of a texture sets a casual mood while too shiny of a fabric makes the sofa a “dressy dress.” In an interior setting, that little black dress could be an oyster-colored sofa, it could be a brown sectional, or it could even be a pair of black settees. The key is a focus on solid color and an awareness of texture. Don’t confuse this with “neutral.” The secret to this chameleon sofa is NOT that it is beige – the perceived safe haven of decorating that teeters on blah. The sofa can and should have pleasing lines, a quality fabric and fit the room well … just like a real little black dress! For the casual, afternoon-at-home sort of look, select clean, simple “accessories.” Remember, accessories are actually pillows and throws in little black dress decorating! Texture with cording or an unfussy geometric such as hounds tooth or a buffalo check will do the trick. Leave the heavy fringe and trim for

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a dressier look. Casual does not have to mean plain and boring. Add some spice with a throw in an accent color and don’t forget about the floor pillows! For a classic look, the Chanel store is not a necessity for little black dress decorating. The classic look can look like a million dollars on a miser’s budget if the accessories are carefully selected. Consider adding solid silk pillows and one pillow embellished with pearls. Your accent color is in the silk and is repeated judiciously in the room … a little goes a long way in classic decorating. “Black-tie” your decorating with glitz! Bold silk pillows paired with a rhinestone studded pillow will take the sofa that wore plaid earlier in the day into a “dressed for an evening at the Ritz” sort of look! Faux-fur throws are great for black-tie decorating. There is a reason that the little black dress is a fashion icon. It lives a varied life along with you. Before you succumb to the temptation to put a large paisley fabric on a sofa, remember that just like a floral sundress, a large pattern sofa is destined to be what it is, with little opportunity for change.

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DISPATCHES » Protect Facebook privacy – Facebook is now rolling out its new profile layout, Timeline, to all users worldwide. Timeline is basically an online scrapbook that displays your Facebook activity in reverse chronological order going back to when you first joined the social network. You can hide the embarrassing bits of your Facebook life before your new profile goes live, but you’ll only have seven days to make any changes to your Timeline before it becomes your default profile. For instructions, visit www.pcworld.com. -www.pcworld.com » Chrome overtakes IE – If you use Google Chrome, you’re part of a wave that has ditched Internet Explorer or Firefox and helped vault Google’s browser to the top Web browser spot worldwide. But wait, there is a caveat to this: Chrome 15 beat IE 8, specifically, this one week at the end of November, with 23.6 percent of the worldwide market, compared to IE 8’s at 23.5 percent. With all the versions of IE floating around, IE is still No. 1 in the world, but Chrome is right behind it. -www.msnbc.com » Cheap smartphones no longer dumb? – If you bought a sub-$100 smartphone a couple years ago, you probably ended up with something scuzzy. The situation’s a lot better now, with last year’s high-end handsets becoming today’s free and cheap smartphones. But do your homework and make sure the phone you’re looking at has been well-received–even reviews dating back a year–and make sure it’s running relatively recent software and decent hardware. With Android, you’ll want a phone that runs Android 2.3 or higher, and with Windows Phone, you’ll want a phone running “Mango,” also known as Windows Phone 7.5. All iPhones run iOS 5, so you’re fine there. -www.time.com

Should I repair or replace my computer? TECHNOLOGY By Ken Colburn With Windows computers being so cheap these days, how do I know when it’s better to repair or replace my computer when I have a problem? - Glenda It’s really important that you completely understand the pros and cons of both repairing and replacing your computer before you make a decision. If repairing a television or refrigerator costs nearly as much as replacing it, it’s a pretty easy decision to make. Computers, however, are not like appliances, because they have programs and data that need to be included in your evaluation. What you must evaluate is if the actual cost (and the associated pain) to replace your computer is preferable to the cost of repairing it. This greatly depends upon your ability and/or desire to do all the work to get your new computer to look like your old computer. Make sure you aren’t making your decision based on these common misconceptions: Misconception #1: The advertised price of a computer is the total price! Very few people can actually make use of a computer advertised at $300 because it’s usually a pretty basic, lowend computer designed to get you into the store so they can up-sell you. Misconception #2: Microsoft Office comes with Windows, doesn’t it? This has been fed over the years by sneaky computer manufac-

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turers that will pre-load a trial or limited-use ad-displaying version to trick buyers that aren’t paying attention. In early versions of Windows, you could copy programs from one computer to another and they would generally work, but today you must install each program you wish to have on your new computer. Misconception #3: I have all my important files backed up! This one comes from 20+ years of working with folks that get a new computer; everything I care about is in the My Documents folder right? WRONG! Depending upon the programs that you have installed, your critical financial files, for instance, could reside within the programs folders far away from the My Documents folder. Misconception #4: Copying my old files to the new computer is all I need to do, right? Even if you have done a good job of backing up all the data for each user, your new machine doesn’t know anything about your old computer or the various profiles you created on it. If you had three profiles on your old computer, you need to recreate what is essentially three computers on your new computer if you want it all to work the same way.

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December 20, 2011 | 21

The holiday above every holiday: Part four SPIRITUALITY By Bob Walters “Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name … Jesus … Jesus Christ is Lord …” – Philippians 2:9-11 Let’s take a final look at the convolutions and ironies attendant to the general topic of “names” as they relate specifically to Jesus, Christmas, the Christ, the holidays and secular convention. After that, those of us who so choose can go ahead and have a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, Happy Holidays and if we want, a partridge in a pear tree. Our fearful, hyper-protective, offense-averse modern society annually ties itself in knots trying to celebrate Christmas without actually calling it Christmas. As believers in Christ, we can relax. Christ is in our hearts and also at the right hand of the Father, always. Jesus is not confined to a date on the calendar. His name alone supersedes any holiday, and anyway the “why” of Jesus is more important than the “when.” As for the “Christmas” name debate, I prefer not to be tied in knots, fighting battles that cannot be won and for which, really, there is no prize for winning. It seems a better strategy to dwell in the faithful assuredness of forgiveness that has already been won in Christ Jesus. I cannot argue my faith into someone else’s soul; and it follows that the same goes for trying to argue “Christ” into commerce or convention.

What I can do is to pray – frequently, fervently and faithfully in the name of Jesus – that somehow my witness, my life, my example, my love, my works, my Merry Christmas, my whatever might somehow add up to a valid case for the peace of Christ being accepted in someone else’s soul; that in their hearts the Holy Spirit will work the miracles of grace, hope and the blessed peace of Christmas. Satan, representing everything that is not Christ, wants to destroy that peace. The world’s – Satan’s – attack on Christ is nothing new, and the only way we can “fix” that is not to allow the world’s attack on us to rob the joy of our peace in the Lord. Christmas is about gifts because Jesus Christ is about gifts – of His faithfulness, life, grace, eternity, freedom, inheritance, kingdom … and oh yeah, forgiveness. These are gifts open and available to absolutely everybody. When we say Merry Christmas we’re offering all those gifts on behalf of Jesus. That’s the power of His name. And, I’ll keep calling it Christmas, because that’s what it is named in my heart. Bob Walters (www.believerbob. blogspot.com, email rlwcom@aol. com) will look at non-believers through Lent, urging believers not to give up on them.

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DISPATCHES » New medical director named – Indiana University Health announced last week that Don Selzer will assume the position of medical director of IU Health Bariatric & Medical Weight Loss. Effective Jan. 1, Selzer Selzer will oversee the bariatric program and direct the medical care policies and procedures associated with the care of bariatric patients. Selzer has been a surgeon in the program since its inception in 2004. » ADHD drugs don’t up risks – Drugs used to treat ADHD in adults do not increase the risk of heart attacks, strokes or sudden death, U.S. researchers said last week. The team looked to see whether the patients taking ADHD drugs had higher rates of heart attack, sudden cardiac death and stroke than those who did not take these drugs. Among users, they also looked to see whether the risk of having heart trouble was higher. “We didn’t see any evidence that these medications increased the risk of any of these events,” one researcher said. -Reuters

Just live with it

HEALTH By Dr. Roger Spahr How many times have you or someone you know been faced with that four-word phrase? Whether spoken by yourself, a relative, a friend or even your well intentioned health care provider, it is a phrase that gnaws at the very fabric of my professional life. Just what does it mean? Do we decide, in the face of poor health with pain, discomfort, disability, and disease, to give up on attempts to assist with improvement of our condition? Recently, a well-known sports figure in Indianapolis decided that he would seek additional expertise in healing to prolong his career and reduce the risk of long term permanent pain. By all accounts, it appears as if it was a worthwhile decision. Over the past three decades of working in the field of medicine I have found that the worst thing one can do is give up on finding solutions. A young man came to me with a ten-year history of severe tennis elbow in both arms. After a decade of well-trained doctors and therapists, he was worse than ever before. He was unable to hold a quart of milk. He had severe Vitamin D deficiency. After one week of proper therapy, 80 percent of his pain was gone, and it was 100 percent resolved in one month. He exclaimed, “I am

also no longer allergic to my girlfriend’s cat!” Yes, Vitamin D affects the immune system too. Several years ago the family of a 15-year-old with weight loss, nausea and chronic vomiting spanning 18 months sought care. Despite invasive procedures, medications, and even psychiatric evaluations by caring providers, her Mexico trip got missed. Additionally, a stool analysis by an inadequately equipped local lab facility missed her parasite. New techniques including DNA analysis picked up her problem and she was normal in a week. Not all things are so dramatic. However, it has been our experience that there are typically several ways to modify an illness, whether it’s low libido, irritable bowel, chronic pain, allergy and immune compromises, neurotransmitter struggles, chronic fatigue or even fibromyalgia. The key is the evaluation of root causes using advanced physiology and bio-chemistry techniques called bio-medicine. Not seeking other solutions means you may have just missed out on living a better life.

December 21, 2011 · HotBox Pizza The holidays are the perfect time for a pizza party at your office or time out from cooking during this busy season! December 21st is Team MammAGraphics Race for the Cure Day at Hotbox Pizza on Rangeline Road in Carmel! Present our flyer, mention the team or Race for the Cure and Hotbox Pizza will donate 20% of your bill to the Susan G. Komen Foundation! To download the flyer, visit the URL below and print the flyer or show it to your server on any web-enabled phone.

http://tinyurl.com/AGCarmel-Hotbox Team MammAGraphics hopes to raise $15,000.00 for The Central Indiana Komen Foundation, 75% of which stays in our community, 25% going to much needed research.

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Dr. Roger Spahr is a board certified physician in family medicine who practices Functional Medicine with Ailanto Group. To reach Roger, write him at webmaster@ailanto.com. AlphaGraphics Carmel | 317.844.6629 | us605.alphagraphics.com

» Snack fact or fiction? – Is it fact or fiction that the best snack bars contain at least 4 grams of fiber? Answer: Fact. The best product has more than 4 grams of fiber and no more than 200 calories, if it’s a snack. Keep an eye on sugar too—aim for 10 grams or less. -www.health.com » Indiana among ‘Filthy 15’ – Indiana is among the 15 worst states, “The Filthy 15,” when it comes to power plant air pollution, according to a new report from the Environmental Integrity Project. In fact, based on overall rankings for the toxic pollutants reviewed in the EIP report, Indiana was ranked as the thirdworst state, primarily for its amounts of toxic pollutants chromium and nickel. » Bone drug boosts cancer survival? – Doctors were mostly hoping to prevent complications and relapses when they gave young women a medicine to keep their bones strong during breast cancer treatment. Seven years later, they found it improved survival, as much as many chemotherapies do. The study found a 37 percent lower risk of death among women who received the bone drug, Zometa. In absolute terms, it meant that 4 to 5 more women out of every 100 were alive seven years later. -www.miamiherald.com

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December 20, 2011 | 23

DISPATCHES » Big jump for Verizon? – Verizon is planning to launch a streaming service that doesn’t require an existing cable connection, catering to the needs of about 85 million households. If Verizon manages to draw enough subscribers to its streaming service, this will help it brand and market its wireless services, possibly in a quad-play bundle that will also include its FiOS TV service. Verizon would take a hit on its margins in the initial few years, but Forbes estimates the stock could hit $43.50, which is about percent above market price. -www.forbes.com » New products too quickly? – In a new survey, nearly half of consumers (48 percent) “feel high-tech manufacturers bring new products to market faster than people need them.” In a new study from Underwriters Laboratories, 89 percent of manufacturers say they are “at or ahead of the curve” when it comes to innovation. But two-thirds of those surveyed also “feel manufacturers do not conduct thorough testing before launching new products.” Consumers aren’t antiinnovation. They’re against unnecessary and poorly thought-out innovation. -www.moneyland.time.com

24 | December 20, 2011

» Companies want you to give up – Most businesses can make things right – if you reach the right person. But the majority of companies don’t empower low-level customer service reps to make decisions, says customer service consultant Colin Shaw, CEO of Beyond Philosophy. What’s more, some companies count on you walking away, going so far as to build in inconveniences like long wait times. No wonder that even though a third of consumers say they’re treated rudely at least once a month, few report the problem, according to a recent study in the Journal of Service Research. -money.cnn.com » Black Friday lies – U.S. retail sales were worse than expected last month despite what we were told was a “record” Black Friday. While November’s retail sales did increase by 0.2 percent, that was the lowest increase in the past five months. Black Friday and Cyber Monday are the recipients of great PR work. The myth is that they are the biggest shopping days of the season, proof that reporters have never worked retail. The busiest in-person shopping day of the season is always the weekend before the Christmas. Always. The busiest online shopping days come when you can order something and still get it delivered before the holiday. -www.cbsnews.com

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Another year, another wish COMMENTARY By David Cain I had a birthday last week. It was 11 a.m. before anyone had wished me a happy birthday in person. It started, however, at midnight with a “happy birthday” text. By the morning of my birthday, I had more texts and a bunch of posts to my Facebook wall. I came downstairs and was greeted by handmade cards from my kids. Still no phone calls or in-person birthday wishes. At 11 a.m. someone in the office mentioned it. It’s a testament to how communications have changed. What 15 years ago would have been phone calls all day long from friends and family is now texts, e-mails, and the more popular Facebook posts. It’s easy to be reminded of someone’s birthday and to drop an electronic note via Facebook, text or e-mail. When I checked out my Facebook wall and saw my mother, nearly twice my age, had posted a birthday wish, I immediately checked my phone to see I had no missed calls. What happened mom, forget my number? My wife didn’t even bother to post on my wall,

she posted on her own Facebook wall, “Happy birthday to my husband” and had about 20 people “like” her post. Way to steal my birthday cheer by moving the party to her wall. I called it the depersonalization of birthdays, but I’m reconsidering that characterization. The convenience of an electronic message has actually expanded my birthday’s reach. My Facebook wall included messages from people that I haven’t seen in years. I only got one card in the mail and, at the end of the day, only one phone call from my dad. The rest of my greetings were in electronic forms. Maybe communication hasn’t fundamentally changed, what has changed is how we communicate. Maybe it’s not less personal but just more practical. Maybe it’s a sign of the growing importance of social networks and how those networks play a part in our lives.

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David Cain works at MediaSauce, a digital media and online marketing company in Carmel. David welcomes your questions or comments at David.Cain@MediaSauce.com.

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Emerging markets stocks for 2012 Potash Corporation (POT) - The world’s population is expected to grow by 44 percent through 2100, which means an additional 3 billion mouths to feed. That math works in favor of Potash Corporation, the world’s largest supplier of the potassium compounds commonly called potash. Potash is produced in only 12 countries globally, and a new potash mine costs about $4 billion to build. But despite the company’s dominance, its stock trades at 10 times its expected earnings for 2012, well under its 10-year average of 34. Many investors doubt that PotashCorp can get bigger or more profitable than it already is. But the long-term trajectory for potash consumption is undisputedly upward. To prosper, emerging markets need to increase the productivity of their land; farmland in parts of the developing world yields just half as much as U.S. cropland. China and India, already the world’s biggest fertilizer consumers, each ac-

count for 7 percent of PotashCorp’s revenue -- shares that analysts expect will grow. Cnooc (CEO) - In recent years, China’s ravenous appetite for resources has powered the global economy. Now there’s much speculation about whether that hunger has begun to wane; but even if it has, many analysts say, that’s unlikely to hurt the prospects of China National Offshore Oil Corp., China’s largest producer of crude oil and natural gas. Cnooc is majority owned by the Chinese government and enjoys a sweet deal with foreign oil companies exploring off China’s shores. Cnooc shares in the profits when they find oil but bears no financial risk when they fail. And Cnooc’s low cost structure means it generates a lot of cash (and profit), even when oil prices are depressed. Still, the stock trades at just nine times 2012’s expected earnings, making it a bargain in the eyes of many pros. -www.smartmoney.com

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December 20, 2011 | 25

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a swanky cupcake Busy at the office? Running kids all over town? Don’t want to cook? Don’t know how? Just treating yourself? Let Carmel-based A Swanky Cupcake play Martha Stewart for you. Aside from creating hip and swanky everyday cupcakes, the company also offers Naughty Little Swanks – fun, adult cupcakes – and the infamous Baby Swanks, perfectly sized “cuppie” cakes for children’s birthday parties and baby showers. In the kitchen is 30 years of baking experience – 45 if the Easy Bake Oven years count -

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Insurance concerns for snow birds INSURANCE Q&A By Jamie Ianigro Question from Bryan H. from Noblesville: My parents go to Florida after the holidays and they’re house pretty much sits empty until spring. Is their house OK from an insurance standpoint? Response from Jamie Ianigro: A couple of factors come into play when we talk about unoccupied homes and insurance. Notice that I didn’t say vacant homes. Unoccupied homes are different because people are obviously still living there and should be home shortly. Insurance carriers will not insure an unoccupied home and a vacant home at the same price or coverage levels. A vacant dwelling requires a special policy and is much more costly than a common homeowners’ policy. Your independent insurance agent can help you find a vacant home policy or elaborate further if you think your home might be vacant. Each insurance carrier is different, but you

can start to lose coverage if your home is unoccupied for a certain period of time. The big two that usually drop off would be coverage for vandalism and coverage for losses caused by a plumbing failure like freezing pipes. These claims can both be costly, so it is very important to know and understand your policy provisions if you’re a snow bird. Coming back from a winter vacation to a ruined house can be made a lot worse by finding out your insurance carrier is denying all or major parts of your claim. The important takeaway here is to make sure you understand your insurance policy before you fly south for the winter. Your independent insurance agent will be glad to go over it with you and clear up any confusion you may have. Jmie Ianigro is with Shepherd Insurance & Finanacial Services. Have an insurance question you need answered? Send it to asktheadvisor@ shepherdins.com.

Chamber names Renaissance business of the year editorial@youarecurrent.com Renaissance Indianapolis North Hotel was honored with the Applause award at the Carmel Chamber’s December luncheon as the 2011 business of the year. The Applause award is presented to a business based on its success in growth and stability, commitment to quality, creative and unique solutions to challenges, entrepreneurial spirit and overall contribution to the community. Other awards were also presented, including ones for Lifetime Achievement and Most Valuable Volunteer. The Renaissance has exceeded budget expectations, achieving 114 percent of their market share, and given back to the community through annual donations to more than 16 nonprofit organizations. The Chamber’s newest award, the Harold Kaiser Award for Lifetime Achievement, was presented for the first time to recognize an individual who has made a lifetime commitment to business in the Carmel community. This year, the Chamber honored Harold Kaiser, the

26 | December 20, 2011

award’s namesake and one of the founders of the Carmel Chamber, for his devotion and enthusiasm for business, volunteer work, the city and the Chamber. The Chamber’s Most Valuable Volunteer award, established to celebrate and recognize outstanding volunteer contributions by an individual who also works full time, was presented to Beth Smietana, communications manager at the Carmel Clay Public Library. The Look award for renovation was presented to PFM Automotive Group for their newly opened PFM Car & Truck Care Center at 116th Street and Guilford Road. The Look award for new construction was presented to Pedcor Companies for their Carmel City Center project. For their support of environmental education and funding of environmental projects, Carmel Green Teen Micro-Grant Program was presented the Carmel Green award. The innovative youthdirected program awards small grants and provides technical guidance to young people for their youth-led environmental projects in Carmel.

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Refreshed for the holidays COMMENTARY By David Decker Homes tend to look their absolute best during the holiday season. Decorations celebrating a spectrum of religious, cultural and family traditions not only add sparkle and pizzazz, they intensify the unique personality of both the home and the people living in it. This is the season of ultimate “homeyness.” Home improvement professionals also consider this time of year as the season of the fresh look … when many homeowners gauge just how comfortable they are in their homes. The typical work we are busy with just ahead of the holidays is a lot of updating – counters, flooring, little things that help “spiff” homes for entertaining. Let’s face it … it’s not the best timing to have a major kitchen overhaul project finishing up as you approach holiday preparations. Weather, to a degree – no pun intended – also governs our work load. December in Indiana can be a festival of surprising weather. If holiday deadlines are important – such as, “We have a houseful of people arriving two days before Christmas” – and harsh weather has delayed work or deliveries … it’s a risky time to be washing dishes in the bathtub. Still though, this is the season of the fresh

- Bob Walters “big” look when homeowners start thinking seriously about major projects they’d like to accomplish with their homes in the coming New Year. Holiday experiences often inform a homeowner’s desires and decisions for major home improvements and redesign. There are plenty of custom home improvement projects that can be pulled off in the winter months, but there are also plenty of projects that are more survivable in, say, mild spring rain rather than frigid winter snow and ice. This is a wonderful week to enjoy the home you’re in, and the ideal season to think, investigate, explore, visit and plan those happy home projects for the New Year. David Decker is president of the Affordable Companies which includes Affordable Kitchens and Bathrooms and most recently “Affordable Custom Flooring” based in Carmel (317-5959540, www.the-affordablecompanies. com). Email home improvement questions to him at david.decker@ the-affordablecompanies.com.

An attitude of gratitude COMMENTARY By Randy Sorrell Gratitude prevailed at several recent holiday parities. They were actually Christmas parties but corporate speak prompted politically correct language on the invitations. Once there, human speak prevailed and I was relieved at the level of gratitude. Of course, ‘tis the season when spasms of thankfulness fill our hearts, but these were not spasms of thankfulness people. They are people we have the great joy of knowing and doing business with whose hearts are often gushing with a sense of deep gratitude. Why is that? Gratitude, Cicero noted a few thousand years ago, is often referred to as “the parent of all virtues”. It’s an emotion that many people feel frequently and is a central theme to most religions as we offer thanks. Motivation guru Zig Zigler is famous for saying that we need to “have an attitude of gratitude”…to which my youngest daughter Sydney and I added “a space for grace and room to bloom”. Get it? Back to the party! What startled me was that despite the most difficult economic times since the great depression, a HUGE sense of gratitude filled the celebrations. Ever notice how fun it is to be around grateful people? Their genuine warmth energizes others. Need examples of insanely grateful people? Try Steve and Brian at Current, Lisa at the Carmel Chamber, Krista Davis with Safe Families, Michael Kile at alpahgraphics, Todd at

www.youarecurrent.com

Fat Atom and Heidi Platusic at n2publishing. Would you like to be more grateful? It’s really pretty simple and the benefits are true. Studies show that grateful people are easier to get along with, have a generous portfolio of friends, are happier more and depressed less, are healthier, likely to be voted most successful by their high school class and get shiny new cars under their Christmas tree. Here’s how to start. Not a fan of journaling, I would call this a gratitude list. Daily, take a few minutes and pencil the things you are thankful for. Start shallow and determine to stretch yourself. Most at the Christmas parties were simply happy to still be in business. Many felt thankful for health, although a few could have complained. Family, faith and fortune were other common denominators. WARNING...expect your list to grow and life to improve. Emerson said it best: For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food and love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. Have a blessed Christmas and a grateful life!

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS from the staff at Current Publishing

Top (from left): Kevin Kane (Carmel managing editor), Dennis O’Malia (senior advertising sales executive), Zachary Ross (art director), Steve Greenberg (vice president/general manager).

Randy Sorrell is president of SURROUNDINGS by NatureWorks+, a Carmel home improvement firm. He may be reached at 317-679-2565, randy@choosesurroundings.com or www.choosesurroundings.com.

Current in Carmel

Middle (from left): Brian Kelly (president/publisher), Andrea Nickas (graphic artist). Front (from left): Heather Cole (office manager), Lara Acton (advertising traffic manager), Lindsay Eckert (Westfield managing editor), Hollie Gossett (advertising sales executive). Not pictured: Jordan Fischer (Fishers managing editor); Robert Herrington (Noblesville managing editor).

December 20, 2011 | 27

A year of laughter…

LAUGHS By Dick Wolfsie This is the time of year when I acknowledge all the people who made my job as a humorist a little bit easier. Every column I write – there has never been an exception – is based on truth, something that really happened to me or someone I know, or a story in the news. So here’s a big thank you to… The company that spammed me with 20 e-mail ads a day for a month trying to get me to buy something called a Wonderbra. The ad claimed it would make all the men in my life stare at me. For once, I decided to call a bluff, so I bought one and wore it while playing racquetball. Darn, if they weren’t right. Christina, my social media instructor, who patiently took hours and hours to teach me the basics about Facebook and Twitter. After she left, I sent her a private message requesting she keep it between us just how dense I had been about the simplest of procedures. I trust she will keep that promise, but I don’t know about the other 400 of my “friends” to whom I accidentally sent the same message. The people who manufacture those costly high-tech earbuds. I thought I was the only one who couldn’t get those little suckers to stay in my ears. Then I read there’s a common disorder called Cartilage Deficiency Syndrome. For every 20 ears (approximately 10 people), four of

28 | December 20, 2011

those ears are having a heck of a time holding their own. My wife does not have this problem. She is cartilaginously well-endowed and, I am proud to say, it is all natural. The inventors of a “sandwich in a can,” known as a Canwich. Inside the container is an oblong bun wrapped in cellophane. Next to it is a squeezable packet of jelly and one of peanut butter. Dispensing ketchup and mustard this way has always been a hassle, so they tried it again with the world’s two slowest-moving foods. What should they can next? How ’bout the whole concept? My long lost relative, Ed Rappaport from Florida, who discovered that he and I had the same great-great-grandparents. Ed has tracked down all the Wolfsie descendants back to 1840 in Russia. According to the document he sent me, I have 1,600 relatives somewhere in the U.S. who don’t even know I exist. With the Superbowl taking place in Indy in February, I think I’ll keep it that way. Finally, a tip of the hat – and the scales – to Dan Gorske for eating his 25,000th Big Mac, a world record. Dan claims that he has never been sick a day in his life, except to his stomach. Dan also hopes to consume his 50,000th Big Mac by the time he’s 90. “I think I can accomplish this as long as I stay healthy,” he told the local newspaper. I repeated that in my column because it’s funnier than anything I could have written.

Halftime show fumbled again LAUGHS By Mike Redmond Because of my vast experience in the funfilled world of “pop” music – going back to a time when music was distributed on “records” and played on “hi-fis” and was, unlike so much of what is being manufactured today, “listenable” – I was asked the other day for my thoughts on the selection of Madonna as the halftime entertainment for the upcoming Super Duper Bowl. “I have none,” I said. This, of course, was a lie. I actually have several. But the conversation was with a young person, and I try not to use that kind of language around kids. At first blush, and second and third blush as well, it looks as though the National Fumble League is continuing its effort to choose Super Bowl halftime acts that are uninteresting, irrelevant or ridiculous. In fact, the 2012 game may go down in history as the one where NFL hit the trifecta. (Note: There are exceptions, of course. Bruce Springsteen and the Rolling Stones weren’t bad, but I’d have a hard time coming up with a list of acts so wonderful that it was worth putting off the customary halftime trips to the bathroom and refrigerator.) Frankly, I never saw the appeal of Madonna to begin with. Sherman, set the Wayback Machine for the early 1980s, where a certain

Current in Carmel

wiseacre newspaper reporter – also known as me – is bloviating to his co-workers that Madonna is just a weak-voiced pop confection doomed to a mercifully short career, whereas Cyndi Lauper has a real voice and real ability destined to rise to the heights and stay there. Oh, well. You can’t be correct all the time. And then, as if to prove the point, the newspaper went ahead and made me the pop music critic. Anyway, I’ve never been all that impressed with Madonna and I doubt her halftime performance will change that. I do not, however, harbor the outright animosity for her that I have seen on a few local chat boards. I had to chuckle at the people who insisted that the Colts or Jim Irsay had something to do with the selection, or that the NFL should have chosen John Mellencamp instead, because he’s local. That ain’t how it works, folks. This is an NFL show all the way, and it is about ratings. It speaks to the whole Super Bowl mishegoss in which, by many measures, the game is of little importance. What do people talk about next day? I’d say for every conversation about football, there are at least five about the commercials. And four complaining about the halftime show. Mike Redmond is an author, journalist, humorist and speaker. Write him at mike@ mikeredmondonline.com or P.O. Box 44385, Indianapolis, IN 46244.

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Views | Community | Cover Story | Education | Diversions | Panache | Toys | In Spirit | Anti-Aging | Dough | Inside & Out | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds Across 1. Butler building flora 4. AAA Hoosier Motor Club handout 7. IndyCar tire pressure meas. 10. Pacers former leag. 13. Prairie View Golf Club prop 14. James Whitcomb Riley’s words of praise 15. “___ the ramparts...” 16. Use the Monon Center track 17. Carmel HS pitcher’s stat. 18. Brenner Luggage leather suitcase material 20. Young newt 21. Gift of the Magi 23. Olympic Games chant 24. Patachou or Uptown, e.g. 25. Financial gravy train (2 wds.) 29. Lead-in to pool or pit 32. Many millennia at the Indiana Geological Survey 33. Geist angler’s haul 37. Like sushi at Kona Grill 38. Practice for the Indiana Golden Gloves 39. In need of company 40. In the past 41. Brown truck co. 42. Mel Simon’s former California home: ___ Air 43. Prefix for hazard 44. Type of hat or old disk 46. First name in jeans at Macy’s 47. Before, to bards 48. Victory Field conical dwelling 49. Pigeon’s home 50. Defunct WTHR show: “___ Factor” 51. Eiteljorg Museum Store artifact 54. Pull one’s leg 57. Indianapolis Zoo beast 58. Circle measurements 62. “Yecch!” 63. Indiana fish hawks 66. Bob-Tom go-between 67. Hirosaki Restaurant ornamental fish 68. Had a burrito at Queso Blanco 69. “A Bridge ___ Far” 70. Ray Skillman’s multipurpose truck, briefly 71. Psychic power 72. Harrison Paving goo 73. Attila, for one 74. Feathery wrap at Broad Ripple Vintage Down 1. The Current news bit 2. Part of VIP 3. “Junior” or “Senior” at Fishers HS 4. Cool Creek Coffee shop order 5. Commotion 6. First United Methodist Church seat 7. Speedway Pest Control option 8. Alternative to a convertible at Tom Wood Ford 9. Intense anger 10. Rugs By Design calculation 11. Like a Gold’s Gym bodybuilder 12. Hoosier Park Casino buy-in 19. Morty’s Comedy Joint business 22. Hi-___ monitor 24. Shade of blue at Kinko’s 26. Overly sentimental 27. City Council pro votes 28. Dangerous bacteria 29. Ceramics or macrame 30. Two under par at Crooked Stick 31. Hawk’s dive 34. Little laugh 35. Santa ___, Calif. 36. Abnormally active 38. Indy’s upcoming Bowl 39. Flood embankment 42. Congregation ___-El Zedeck 45. Kind of moss

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NOW HRING

Part-time building maintenance position is available at a church in Carmel. Must have flexible schedule and building maintenance experience required. If interested, submit resume to prospectivecarmelemployer@gmail.com.

Maintenance Technicians

Pet & House Sitting Service

Now HIring

NNLS 267466

Hunt Pacific Management seeks Full Time employees; will pay $16 up to $18 with benefits. Must be HVAC Certified; experienced with plumbing, electrical, and carpentry Interested candidates should apply in person-no calls please Sand Creek Woods Apartments in Fishers Or Woodland Springs Apartments in Carmel EOE

FOR SALE Associates Needed at MCL!

We are looking for hospitality-driven, dependable associates to work part-time as a catering/banquet delivery representative/ driver. Candidates must have a valid driver’s license and able to work independently Our staff enjoy the following benefits: • Flexible schedules • Weekly pay check • Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays off • 401k with company match (after 1 year of employment) & more Apply directly to our Carmel location: Merchant’s Square, 1390 Keystone Way Dr. E, Carmel Indiana, 317-844-9217.

HELP WANTED

The Leader in senior Home Care services is Looking For

men and women who want to make a difference in the lives of seniors. Join our team of non-medical caregivers today! We are anxious to meet you and discuss how you can assist us serving North Indy and Hamilton County.

Call Today! 317-252-4472

Current in Carmel

Top Dollar for Junk and Running Vehicles CALL 317-869-9498

Full- time receptionist wanted for Pediatric office. Please call 872-0400 between the hours of 8am – 5pm

AIR QUALITY TESTING SPECIALISTS NEEDED

$15.00+/HR Due to booming business we have 17 positions available! No.Exp.needed Company training, must have great communication skills and own vehicle. Call for immiediate interview Mon-Fri. 9am-5pm 317-564-4958

FOR SALE:

Cedrus Sauna (FSI 3000): seats 2-3 people. Always been indoors. Barely used. JVC AM/FM CD Stereo system, halogen accent lights for mood or reading. Wireless remote control. 61’”42”x75”. Immediate FREE delivery Indianapolis area $995 317.439.6502

FURNITURE

Executive conference table. Nearly new. Mahogany with 8 matching leather swivel chairs. Too large for our new space. Value approx. $9,300. Will sell for $3,000 OBO. Call 847.5022.

HAVE SOMETHING TO SELL? CALL DENNIS O’MALIA 489.4444 ext. 202 December 20, 2011 | 31

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