CURVY May/June 2017 Summer by Curvy Magazine

ISSUE 03 May/June 2017

INSIDE:

Swim Guide

Behind the Seams:

Shatonia Amee

Sizzle

FESTIVAL SEASON

Up Your Summer!

Must Haves

POLYAMORY

Is More Than One Right for You?

Summer mer the

Sizzle issue

L ove You r C urves

SEXTING

Cheating or innocent flirting?

NEW YORK CITY BOOK NOW: (866) 445-5434

WWW.AMADEUSWORLDWIDE.COM BOOK NOW: (877)-296-8002

COVER STORIES 10

Your Lucky 7 Summer Beach Bag

Protecting Your Skin this Summer

Who Wants Sweat-proof Makeup?

Love Your Curves

120 Behind the Seams: Shatonia Amee 128 Swim Guide 212 Polyamory: Is More Than One Right for You? 222 Sexting: Cheating or Innocent Flirting?

A ll S u it e d U p P. 1 4 0 before we This season, we are taking hit the beach, y om your curv a few ideas fr ars. fashion rock st

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

BEAUTY

CURVY FEATURES

140 Amazing Body Butters for Your Skin

540 Festival Guide

200 Summer Hair Tips from Billy Lowe

600 Behind the Music: Marsha Ambrosius

BODY LOVE 240 Top 10 Un-Diet Tips

780 Penthouse Living 980 Back to Basics: Low Maintenance Flower Garden Care

280 The Link Between HPV and Throat Cancer

1000 Simple Summer Recipes

320 Keeping Kitty Happy

FASHION & STYLE

LIFE CLASS 380 Understanding How Your Mind Works: Are Your Thoughts Making You Fat? 420 A Gift You Can Give Yourself 440 7 Steps to Reclaim Your Life to Forgive Yourself and Others 480 Living Life Out Loud 500 Summer Travel Tips: How to Network on a Plane

WHAT’S INSIDE

1240 For the Fearless Fashionista: How to Mix Prints 1260 Heel Condoms: A Girl’s New Best Friend

BIRDS AND THE BEES 2160 10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex 2200 Bachelor of the Month

ON THE COVER: P. 190

2240 A Sexual Appetite is Good for Your Health

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

FROM THE EDITOR

t’s getting hot in here! Bring on the BBQ! Summer is not my favorite season, honestly. I have had this life long love and hate relationship with summer because with summer comes the mosquitoes, flies, humid nights, and sweaty fellow commuters.

But, what I love about summer is the memories you can make. I can not remember what I was doing during the winter of 2015 but I have countless memories from summer. I can remember the great water ballon war of summer 1989. It was a war because the kids in my neighborhood had the largest water balloon fight I have ever seen in my life. The kids used our entire neighborhood as if it was their own personal battlefield. I remember even my mother got in on the action by dumping an entire bucket of water on unsuspecting kids as they tried to use our front lawn’s bushes as a hiding spot. Miss ‘‘Gail’’ was crowned the coolest mom EVER that summer. I smile to myself as I reflect on all my summer memories that I can recall so vividly. From the beach, to the family reunions, laying by the pool, neighborhood block parties, the improptu BBQs, vacation weekends, OH, dear Summer, how I love you – just not with the mosquitoes! I’m happy to share summer with you in this sizzling issue. It is our first double issue so it’s jam-packed with all of your summer essentials, great recipes, sexy swimwear, your festival guide and much more! After this issue you may need a staycation! ;)

IT’S THE

KeKe Simot, Editor in Chief

Oversized Square glasses – Torrid.com P. 188

REVOLUTION fb.com/kekesimot

KeKe Simot

@kekesimot @kekesimot

BEACH BEAUTY

BEHIND THE SEAMS: | MAY/JUNE CURVY SHATONIA AMEE2017

PENTHOUSE LIVING

POOL SIDE

THE COLORS OF SUMMER

10 LOVE THINGS I IN

THIS ISSUE

Love Your Curves P. 23

‘‘7 Steps to Reclaim Your Life to Forgive Yourself and Others’’ P. 44

Get a sneak peek at some of the most fascinating insights coming up in the pages ahead. Who wants sweat-proof makeup? P. 18

Your Lucky Summer Beach Bag! P. 10

‘‘Heel Condoms’’ A Girl’s New Best Friend P. 126

Behind the Sound with Marsha Ambrosius. P. 48

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

EDITOR IN CHIEF

EDITOR, Posthumously

KeKe Simot

Jennifer Rocker

EDITORIAL EDITOR

FASHION DIRECTOR

STYLE EDITOR

BEAUTY EDITOR

A&E EDITOR

RELATIONSHIPS EDITOR

LATIN AMERICA EDITOR

MANAGING EDITOR

TRAVEL EDITOR

ART DIRECTOR

CHIEF PHOTOGRAPHER

EDITOR AT-LARGE

Mariana Silva-Buck

Shatonia Amee

Vivian Lampkins

Jazzlyn Kirkland

Vanessa Solano

Kristina Williams-Lee

Nicole Dean

Silvana Denker

Lizzie Miller Jasmine Diaz

Rolise Rachel Lisa Robertson

CONTRIBUTORS CONTRIBUTORS

Danielle Marcus, Antonia Hall, Jazmine Diaz, Ric Brenin Raychel Harvey-Jones, Kristen Rocker Wiles, Brie Stoll

PHOTOGRAPHERS: Adriana

Libini, Lia B, Silvana Denker, Brie Childers

PUBLISHING PUBLISHER The

CURVY Revolution

PUBLIC RELATIONS DIRECTOR

Michelle Mitchell LEGAL

Mason Law, PLLC INTL. SALES DIRECTOR

Srinivas Nunna

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Charles

MARKETING / PROMOTIONS DIRECTOR

Micheal Belgrave US. SALES DIRECTOR

Adam Simot

Pascalar

INSIDE BEAUTY

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

YOUR

SUMMER BEACH BAG BY CLAUDINE SANMIGUEL

s we prepare for this upcoming season, we are inclined to mark down all the fun and important events taking place – outdoor parties, events and relaxing days at the beach. With all of this preparation, we must remember those we cannot live without. They can make the difference between a fabulous time or just another hot and humid day. It is with this in mind that I bring you your lucky number seven! The seven must-have items that you need for your beach bag. So, without further ado, here is my list of seven beauty beach bag essentials:

1. SUNSCREEN/ SUNBLOCK This is probably the most important item you can ever have. It isn’t only for summer but should be used year round. Neutrogena has a couple of great formulas. Dry Touch Ultra sheer sunblock is made with Helioplex and fights against UVA & UVB rays. It works wonderfully under makeup as well. For those days of playing volleyball or relaxing in the pool, Neutrogena’s Ultimate Sport sunblock is fabulous and does not cause breakouts or clog pores.

3. MOISTURIZING FACE MIST When you are in the sun for a long period of time, your skin is what takes the hardest hit. It can become dry and dehydrated. The right face mist can rejuvenate and nourish the skin. The vitamin E face mist from The Body Shop is essential to replenishing the skin. It is wonderful for traveling as well.

4. NAIL POLISH Nothing is more important that making sure your nails are perfect for sandal season! Take a look at China Glaze’s gorgeous new collections – Island Escapes and Crackle effects polishes. Perfect to make your tootsie look beautiful in the sand.

5. FINISHING SPRAY For those hot summer nights when you want to go out on the town. It is imperative to have that perfect finishing spray that controls oil, takes away shine and keeps your makeup lasting. Skindinavia has a few different formulations to work with various skin types and leaves your face looking flawless.

2. LIP BALM WITH SPF

6. HAIR PRODUCTS

There is no way to spend a day in the sun without a moisturizing lip balm with SPF to protect your lips. Burt’s Bees has an amazing line of balms with to protect your lips from harmful rays. The best part is they are all 100% natural. The lip shimmer balm has a gorgeous hint of color and shimmer to wear day or night.

The summer brings a free spirit feeling in the air. This makes us want to let our hair down and look like we are ready for anything. Weather you want smooth or curly hair, you need the right product to make it look healthy and shiny. Uncle Funky’s Daughter Extra Butter is wonderful

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

at fortifying curls/waves and giving them that extra love they need after a long day in the sun. For straightening hair, Macadamia Oil’s healing Oil Spray is perfect at infusing moisture into the hair and giving it the perfect shine.

7. BODY LOTION Nothing is more visible than your skin. It goes through so much on a daily basis and in the summer, it is just as bad. A day at the beach can leave your body dry and be crying out for moisture. Lubriderm is one of the best lotions of all time and with their new look and various formulations, there is one for everyone. They also have a new cocoa and shea butter radiance formula that is designed to give you silky smooth skin in a non-greasy formula. So these are my lucky seven products that I cannot live without. Since I am in Miami, I have them year round. I hope you look into these products, as I am sure there is something you’ll see but may not have thought about. The brands listed are all available either through mass retail outlets or through their website. So as we approach a time of fun and play, don’t forget to get your beach bag prepared.

THE SEVEN MUST-HAVE ITEMS THAT YOU NEED FOR YOUR BEACH BAG THIS SUMMER! CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

PROTECTING YOUR SKIN FROM THE

SUMMER WOES BY LISA ROBERTSON

he summer season is here and we all love to be out and about. Although we want to have fun, many of us struggle with our skin during this time of the season. Rashes, eye irritation, dry skin, and many others conditions can interrupt us on our summer vacations. How do we get rid of these annoyances? Some causes can’t be avoided without avoiding our activities altogether, but we can learn how to deal with them in an effective manner.

skin problems but when used too much, it can cause discomfort and skin reactions. A typical use of chlorine to clean the pools is used in an amount of 4 parts-per-million, but when you are not the one regulating the pool’s cleaners, it can be a bit of a challenge.

Below you can read about protection, healing, and symptoms of our top 3 most common summer conditions.

SUNBURNS

HEAT RASHES What are they? Some of us are unclear on what heat rashes really are, from red bumps to raised skin, what makes a heat rash? Heat rashes are tiny red bumps that appear on the skin when sweat is blocked from escaping. The sweat glands get clogged and cause the skin irritation. The bumps generally turn red and can appear anywhere on the skin. The most common places are where skin touches skin. [Examples – armpits, underside of the elbow, groin, and behind the knee.] It is important when going into the heat, or being active in the heat, to wear loose clothing and wipe the excess sweat off the body regularly. Below are symptoms of a heat rash.

SYMPTOMS OF HEAT RASH • Excessive itching • Redness • Inflammation • Blistering • Prickly Sensations

CHLORINE ALLERGIES & IRRITATION Another troublesome problem during the summer months is chlorine. Typically, chlorine doesn’t give a lot of physical

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

If you swim regularly it can cause drying out of the skin, and other problems including dry eye, and rashes. Some preventative steps are taking care of your skin daily, including inspecting, moisturizing, and removing the chlorine after each exposure.

For those of you who are active in the summer, it is wise to protect yourself from sun exposure. Sunburns, while uncomfortable, are a common problem in the summer. Being sure that you are doing all you can to protect yourself from the sun’s UV rays is the best way to go.

PREVENTATIVE TIPS • Wear UV protection with SPF of 15 or higher • Wear UV protective sunglasses each time you are exposed to the sun • Wear hats with a brim of at least 4 inches • Avoid the excessive exposure between the hours of 10 am – 2 pm • Apply UV lotions at least 30 minutes before going in the sun Being sure to visit your doctor when suspecting a skin problem is best, but knowing how to prevent them in the first place is even better. For those of you who struggle with these problems each day, you know and understand that it can become so much more than necessary. Remember that the face in the glass is worth protecting. Use of UV protectors and cortisone lotion can reduce irritation, itching, and redness, but if the problem persists you should contact your physician.

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CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

3/14/2016 4:50:12 PM

AMAZING body butters FOR YOUR SKIN

BY CLAUDINE SANMIGUEL

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

No matter where you live in the world, hydration is key in protecting your skin.

e are gearing up for spring and looking forward to all the colors and trends for the upcoming season! I know there are states that are facing severe snowfalls and horrid winter temperatures. It is with this in mind that a thought occurred to me: how do you keep that supple, soft skin with crazy winter winds and icy snow all around you? I have always been a huge lotion and body butter fan and with that, I am so happy to share some of my all time faves for you to check out. I know in the winter, it can be so comforting to take a nice, hot bath to relax and warm up the body. The one thing to consider, however, is the drying effect this can have on your skin. It can be really harsh to subject your sensitive skin to high-temperature changes without the right products to give you that moisture afterward. So without further delay, I am going to share a few goodies that I love:

LAVANILA BODY BUTTER Known for being the ‘‘Healthy’’ body butter, it is so smooth and luxurious. It truly feels hydrating on the skin and leaves it nourished with an amazing fragrance. It is an all-natural, lightly scented butter that absorbs deeply for soft, amazing skin. It is everything you need in a butter and it’s good for you.

LAURA MERCIER BODY BUTTER With the launch of their body care collection, Laura Mercier took moisturizing to a whole new level with body soufflé’s, shower gels, scrubs and bubble bath. The scents are delightful and truly invigorating to the skin. Here is one of my faves:

NIVEA CREAM It may not necessarily be considered a body butter, but this is one of the best feeling creams I have always used. It is amazing on the skin and soaks in without leaving any oily feeling or residue. This is a Holy Grail product that is timeless.

ALMOND COCONUT MILK SOUFFLÉ BODY CRÈME Laura Mercier Almond Coconut Milk Soufflé Body Crème is an ultrawhipped scented soufflé crème that provides luxurious all-day moisture protection without being too heavy or greasy.

L’OCCITANE SHEA BUTTER ULTRA RICH BODY CREAM This is the ultimate in body butters! L’Occitane is famous for its unique formulation that protects as well as restores. It is a true miracle for skin and I love it. This body cream provides the ultimate moisturizing comfort to dry and dehydrated skin with a high concentration of Shea Butter (25%). The Shea Butter helps protect and nourish the skin and restore its hydrolipidic film without leaving a greasy residue behind without leaving a greasy film behind. This smooth, luxurious cream, enriched with vitamin E and honey, helps to hydrate and delicately perfumes the skin with a sweet, delicious fragrance. So needless to say, it is essential to finish this winter season with the right kind of moisture. No matter where you live in the world, hydration is key in protecting your skin. There are so many environmental factors that challenge us every day and it is essential to take the extra effort to keep our bodies feeling good. Hope you are all gearing up for a beautiful change of season to come. Stay gorgeous!

CJ’S BODY BUTTER This incredible formulation is nourishing as well as smooth on the skin. It gives the skin exactly the kind of moisture it needs in harsh environments. It also comes in the most amazing scents that are customized to your preference. It also has a variety of uses. Called “A Miracle in a Tube” by some, CJ’s Butter has been used on adults and children to help relieve:

• Eczema • Rashes • Dry/chapped skin • Rug burns (sore crawler knees) • Mechanics’ hands and cuticles • Hang nails • Rub a small amount on your hands and use as a leave-in conditioner for your curls

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

WHO t-WANTS

Swea Proof Makeup? BY VIVIAN LAMPKINS

1) SAY NO TO FULL COVERAGE POWDERS!

8) AVOID DARK COLORS!

Use Beautyblender blotterazzi by beautyblender $20.00 or blotting papers to combat excess oil w/out messing up your makeup.

Sweating and streaks are more noticeable when wearing dark bronzers, heavy blush and a dark smokey eye. Stila Magnificent Metals Glitter & liquid eye shadow $24.00 two thumbs up

2) COOL OFF BEFORE MAKE UP APPLICATION. Give your body about 10 min to cool off after a shower

9) DRINK!

3) KEEP A FACIAL MIST.

Keep your body hydrated with cool drinks steel water bottles will make this easy to achieve.

Fresh. Rose Floral Toner $ 40.00 great for all skin types keeps skin hydrated and make up fresh. For easy travel pour the toner in a travel spray bottle

4) DON’T FORGET TO PRIME! Kate Somerville Prime Protection Dual Action Primer SPF 15 $48.00 is every girls best friend! Super lightweight and easy to apply.

5) REPLACE FOUNDATION WITH A TINTED MOISTURIZER AND CONCEALER IN AREAS. To give an even finish look to the skin. Laura Mercier Tinted moisturizer. $44.00

6) MAKE THE SWITCH FROM POWDER COLOR PRODUCTS TO CREAM! A cream blush and or bronzer on the cheeks will give a natural look and it give a Beyonce glow to the cheeks! M.A.C Casual Color is perfect $23.00

7) GO WATER RESISTANT! Especially for the eyes VivianPhrank Cosmetix has a long wearing gel pencil eyeliner $18.00, glides on smoothly, dries quickly and smudge proof.

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

10) USE LESS MAKEUP! Less layers of make up in the summer time the better your overall beauty looks. BEAUTY BLENDERS BLOTTERAZZI – $20.00 WWW.SEPHORA.COM

STILA MAGNIFICENT METALS GLITTER & GLOW LIQUID EYE SHADOW – $24.00 WWW.SEPHORA.COM

FRESH ROSE FLORAL TONER – $40.00 WWW.FRESH.COM

VIVIANPHRANK COSMETIX GEL PENCIL EYELINER – $14.00 WWW.VIVIANPHRANK.COM KATE SOMERVILLE PRIME PROTECTION DUAL ACTION PRIMER SPF 15 – $48.00 WWW.SEPHORA.COM

CASUAL COLOR M.A.C. COSMETICS CREAM BLUSH – $23.00 WWW.MACCOSMETICS.COM CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

INTERVIEW WITH BILLY LOWE

r e m m Su ! s p i T r Hai BY CLAUDINE SANMIGUEL

hen first talking to Billy Lowe, I learn a little about his background, upbringing and the general process of events that took him into the beauty industry. It is from this conversation that I can derive why he became a professional stylist. With a creative and educational background, he has a gift for what he does. He is extremely knowledgeable and true to his craft. Lowe has a love of hair and beauty that is truly impressive. His infamous slogan, “Every day is a good hair day” gives you the idea of his positive energy and love of beauty. With our summer issue launching, I was inclined to get his opinion on the do’s and don’ts for the season. Here is my interview with celebrity stylist, speaker and beauty director, Billy Lowe.

WHAT HAIR CARE TIPS AND TRICKS CAN YOU GIVE FOR OUR READERS? The biggest hair tip that I have is that you trust your salon professional. It is common to self-prescribe and do it at home. You want to make sure to use products that are appropriate for your hair type. Your stylist knows your hair and skin type and can find the product and shade that’s right for you. You must always remember that what you see on the box has the correct lighting and photography to make it look that way.

WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BEAUTY TRICK YOU CAN GIVE FOR THE SUMMER? DAY TO EVENING LOOK:

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

“A classic ponytail will get you from a day at the park to an evening on park avenue.” It’s a two-minute trick. A lower ponytail at the nape of the neck is a little more elegant. Wrap some hair around the rubber band and secure it with a bobby pin for a sleek look. Leave hair around the face for facial framing because it gives a subtle, classy look.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE PERFECT SUMMER MAKEUP LOOK? For me, it is something that is very fresh and understated. A subtle eye with a subtle lip is all that is needed. Burt’s Bees colored lip balms are a favorite of mine that have a little bit of color and shimmer. For an evening look, lining the lips after applying gloss makes the lips look soft but bold. Exfoliate your skin every day to keep a fresh, beautiful and healthy glow for summer. Consult your beauty skin care professional for the appropriate regimen for your skin type.

WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE FOR THOSE WITH OILY, COMBINATION AND DRY SKIN TYPES DURING THE WARMER CLIMATES? OILY Keep oil blotting papers with you. They pull oil away from the skin. Do not pack on powder, as it clogs pores. Always use a translucent powder for touch ups. Colored powder mixes with oil and can look cakey. It is perfect for all skin tones and types. I like using cotton balls for application because they are hygienic and disposable. Keep a zip lock bag of cotton balls in your purse. When using brushes, make sure to clean them regularly.

COMBINATION Monitor when your skin is uncomfortable. Be aware of your location, environment, and climate. For example, living in Palm Springs, you’re in a dry environment and that can make skin dehydrated, as opposed to someone living in Miami where it is very humid and skin becomes oilier.

DRY The skin is a fine balance of oil and water. Do not overdo on moisturizer. The key is to exfoliate and balance moisture. Trust your skin care expert and make sure you are using products that are right for you. Drink lots of water and stay hydrated.

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE PRODUCTS FOR THE SUMMER? My favorite products for summer are Gloss and Toss Hair Serum by Billy Lowe because it’s perfect for all hair types. It eliminates frizz, tames fly-aways and makes curls look shiny and healthy. Hairspray is always a girl’s best friend for summertime and one of my favorite beauty products for the season. A summertime skin care favorite is the Erno Laszlo skincare line. Burt’s Bees lip balms are perfect for hydrating and protecting lips and they also give that hint of color.

WHAT WOULD BE THE NUMBER ONE ITEM IN YOUR BEACH BEAUTY BAG? My number one item for my beach bag would, of course, be sunscreen!!! You always want to protect the skin.

WHAT ARE YOU TOP 3 BEAUTY MUST HAVES FOR BEAUTY ON-THE-GO? Top 3 beauty on the go products are:

• Hairspray • Mascara • Lip Gloss It’s all a girl needs to look her best this season.

WHAT IS YOUR NUMBER ONE HAIR DON’T? Don’t do it yourself at home. There is so much to color formulation, so it is important to work with your salon professional. For more information on Billy Lowe, check out his website at www.billylowe.com

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

INSIDE BODY LOVE

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

un -DIET TIPS TOP 10

BY BRANDY EDWARDS

URVY was asked, ‘‘You hear all that stuff about how mindset plays a BIG part in losing weight, but once you get your mind in check, how do you get your plate to follow?’’

Well, surprisingly this is NOT a question we get too often. Reading between the lines what the question revealed was that you moved beyond the whole «diet» mindset and is embracing a ôlifestyle change. That’s truly the key! So I’ve put together these Top 10 Undiet Tips to give you and SO MANY women like you may sound advice which is likewise supported by most nutritionist and dietitians I have a lot of them as friends and they’re quick to put me in check.

1. MAKE HALF YOUR PLATE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES Vegetables and fruits are stocked full of fiber, antioxidants, and nutrients. However, still monitor your fruit intake; especially if you’re pre-diabetic or diabetic because sugar is sugar even in its natural form. Since I already know that this statement causes a lot of controversies, I will address this topic again in a future article.

2. ADD LEAN PROTEIN At each meal add some form of lean protein, such as chicken, lean pork and beef (top round steak is among the leanest of cuts), turkey tofu or beans and a few times a week you can even put seafood in the protein list AND on your plate.

3. INCLUDE WHOLE GRAINS Yes, I said it, eat bread! However, I have my conspiracy theories about wheat bread too, mainly due to the false claims a lot of these popular manufacturers put on the packaging. I despise the false claims a lot of these manufacturers are making claiming 100% whole grain this and 100% whole wheat that again, more on this topic in a future article.

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

4. DON’T FORGET THE DIARY

Vitamin D and calcium are ESSENTIAL to our health (and sadly lacking the most especially as we age). Therefore consider having a cup of fat-free or low-fat milk with your meals. Both provide the same amount of calcium and key nutrients as whole milk just with fewer calories and fat. Don’t do milk? Then try soymilk or add low-fat yogurt in your meals.

5. AVOID THE EXTRAS Adding extra mayo and double cheese to your meals does nothing more than adding extra fat and calories to your body. When possible resist the urge to add heavy gravies or sauces to your meal. No worries, it took me FOREVER to adopt this one. Try healthier substitutes for flavor and texture instead. Don’t be fooled by the false labels claiming ôno fatö this or reduced fat thatàwhen possible just don’t indulge.

6. SLOW DOWN Take time to (actually) enjoy, savor and chew your food. Practice being present and paying attention to the flavors, tastes, and textures of your food; alongside your thoughts and emotions. It takes about 20 minutes for the «I’m full» signal to alert your upper intestine and unfortunately for most people in our rushed and hurried society their already on their second or third serving by then.

7. USE SMALLER DISHES Yes, this is a mental trick that actually does work! Remember the old adage «your eyes are bigger than your stomach»? It’s true, they are! So invest in smaller dinner plates (like a 9-inch plate) or just eat off of saucers. Over the years, one thing I’ve noticed that has continued to increase alongside American’s waistlines are the size of our plates AND cups. I realized this while going through some old family heirlooms. The plates from my grandmother’s first set of «fancy» dishes looked about the same size of the play dishes in my daughter’s kitchen set.

ONCE YOU GET YOUR MIND IN CHECK, HOW DO YOU GET YOUR PLATE TO FOLLOW? 8. CONTROL YOUR FOOD DESTINY Eat at home as OFTEN as possible so that you KNOW what you are eating. If you do eat out, pay attention to portion size (restaurants servings are generally bigger than the average) and choose healthier options such as steamed, grilled or baked instead of fried, smothered or battered.

9. SUBSTITUTE YOUR SWEETS Ok, I know I said sugar is sugar, and it is, however, sweet urges are normal (and expected). So if you have to satisfy your sweet tooth, I’d rather you do it by eating strawberries (or any other fruit) instead of a Snickers bar (or any other candy for that matter). This way you get some necessary antioxidants, nutrients, and fiber versus unnecessary chemicals and carbohydrates.

10. INTRODUCE NEW FOOD REGULARLY I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying variety is the spice of life, therefore, spice up your meals by trying new spices and foods that you’ve never tried before. You just may find a new favorite! Between the internet AND television, you have access to an infinite amount of food ideas and recipesàso make it a point to try some. So there you have it, start implementing these Top Tips at each meal and you’re well on your way to changing your body from the inside out!

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

THE LINK BETWEEN

HPV & ORAL SEX BY RAYCHEL HARVEY-JONES

ORAL FITNESS EXPERTS SAT THAT THROAT CANCER IS BECOMING A NATIONAL HEALTH EPIDEMIC.

hat do maggots, tomato plants, and oral cancer all have in common? They have all been found inside someone’s mouth. As a dentist in practice for over 30 years, Dr. Gary Glassman (“Dr. G”) thought he had seen it all. “I have removed maggots from a child’s gums and a tomato plant that was growing from a seed in another patient. Oral fitness is as important as physical fitness, this week a young man died in California from a tooth infection that spread to his lungs,” says Dr. G. I will admit I am a little nervous when it comes to visiting the dentist, over the years I have been lucky enough to find very patient dentists who have gradually rid me of my fear. After interviewing Dr. G, I plan on making it a priority to regularly visit the dentist. There is a much bigger problem in the U.S. that’s slowly becoming an epidemic – throat cancer.

Dr. G, a leading global oral fitness expert, says, “The scary part about the growing concern of oral cancer among men is that we think of oral sex as a safer alternative to intercourse.” According to the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the HPV virus is the most sexually transmitted infection in the United States, and it’s showing up in men aged 4060 years old. Skeptical? Just ask actor Michael Douglas.

The HP V vaccine is a must before you are sexually active. However, if you haven’t had the vaccine there are measures you can take, ask your dentist. “ It’s not worth the risk.”

Dr. G is concerned about the growing numbers of mouth

and throat cancer caused by the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) that is transmitted during oral sex.

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

In an interview published in The Guardian newspaper in London, Douglas mentioned that his throat cancer could have been brought on by oral sex, a common way to become infected with HPV. (Douglas later admitted he actually had tongue cancer and “regrets blaming his wife’s vagina.”)

“We are seeing the HPVpositive throat cancer more in older men as they produce less saliva. Saliva acts as a natural coating that protects

the mouth from infections. Also, there are a plethora of medications used everyday by older guys that cause dry mouth; medications like Ibuprofen and Amoxicillin,” says Dr. G. There are about 200 different strains of HPV. Some cause common warts when they invade the skin. Others are the cause of sexually transmitted diseases. “HPV can cause cervical cancer, as well as cancer in the back of the throat, including the base of the tongue and tonsils, though these are not the same strains of the virus. Cancer often takes years, even decades, to develop after a person gets HPV. More than half of American men who are having sex will get HPV at some point in their lives,” adds Dr. G. According to the CDC, there is no approved test to check for HPV in the mouth or throat; this is why regular visits to your dentist are critical. A dentist can monitor any changes in your mouth. There are HPV tests that can be used to screen for cervical cancer.

DR. GARY GLA SSM

“Your mouth is crucial when it comes to your overall general health. Treat your dentist’s chair as an extension of your trips to the gym; it’s just as vital to your health and fitness,” adds Dr. G. The HPV vaccine is a must before you are sexually active. However, if you haven’t had the vaccine there are measures you can take, ask your dentist. “It’s not worth the risk,” concludes Glassman.

THE HPV VIRUS IS THE MOST SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTION IN THE UNITED STATES, AND IT’S SHOWING UP IN MEN AGED 40-60 YEARS OLD. CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

KEEPING

Kitty

BURMESE BALLS

HAPPY

BY VONDA HOWARD

here’s no better time to get those kitty muscles in shape! How can you do that?

Kegel Exercises!

WHAT ARE KEGEL EXERCISES? Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which support the uterus, bladder and bowel. You can do kegel exercises discreetly just about anytime, whether you’re driving in your car, sitting at your desk or relaxing on the couch. You can even do kegel exercises when you’re pregnant.

WHY KEGELS ARE IMPORTANT. Many factors can weaken your pelvic floor muscles, from pregnancy and childbirth to aging and being overweight. The pelvic floor muscles form a broad sling between your legs from the pubic bone in front to the base of your spine at the back. Well ladies – guess what little haven of sensation happens to be located right at the front of the base of our pubic bone? That’s right, Kittens! Officially known as the clitoral glans, the clitoris has only one known purpose... to give women sexual pleasure! The clitoris is made up entirely of soft erectile tissue called corpus spongiosum. This is exactly the same type of tissue that comprises the glans of the penis. But the really interesting news, girls, is that the glans of the clitoris has just as many nerve endings as does the glans of the penis, but concentrated in a much smaller area!

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INTENSITY BY JOPEN

Kegel exercises, along with counseling and sex therapy, may also be helpful for women who have persistent problems reaching orgasm.

HOW TO DO KEGELS It takes diligence to identify your pelvic floor muscles and learn how to contract and relax them. Here are some pointers from The Mayo Clinic: Find the right muscles. Insert a finger inside your vagina and try to squeeze the surrounding muscles. You should feel your vagina tighten and your pelvic floor move upward. Then, relax your muscles and feel your pelvic floor return to the starting position. You can also try to stop the flow of urine when you urinate. If you succeed, you’ve got the basic move. Don’t make a habit of starting and stopping your urine stream, though. Doing Kegel exercises with a full bladder or while emptying your bladder can actually weaken the muscles, as well as lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder – which increases the risk of a urinary tract infection.

PERFECT YOUR TECHNIQUE. Once you’ve identified your pelvic floor muscles, empty your bladder and sit or lie down. Contract your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for five seconds, and then relax for five seconds. Try it four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.

Maintain your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises. Repeat three times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day. You might make a practice of fitting in a set every time you do a routine task, such as checking email, commuting to work, preparing meals or watching TV. There are many toys and tools out there to not only help you with kegel exercises, they actually make them a hell of a lot of fun to do. Here are a few of my favorites:

BEN-WA BALLS AND EGG EXERCISERS Also know as Burmese bells, BenoĂt balls, Orgasm balls, Venus balls or Geisha balls. These are the most widely used way to do kegels. You insert them into the vagina and use your pelvic muscles to hold them in, and even move them around, in the advanced stages. Some come with chimes (which makes for musical walking), vibrators, and some are even pressure sensitive, like the Vr1 by JOPEN. Some have strings attached for easy retrieval while others are free and help really train you to keep them in place.

WEIGHT RESISTANCE EXERCISERS AND ELECTRO-STIMULATORS I know all that sounds kind of scary, but these types of exercisers are quickly becoming very popular. The weighted exercisers work just like a weight you would us for your arms. The wand is inserted and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up to you to hold it in. Using it often strengthens the pelvic muscles. The electro-stimulators are a VERY new concept in kegel exercisers. The newest, and most wanted one right now, is the Intensity by JOPEN. These exercisers have been quoted by users to bring about multiple and much stronger orgasms. The small electrodes cause the pelvic walls to contract on their own (kind of like the electrodes in the ab belts on TV).

There are many toys & tools out there to help you with your kegels. CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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INSIDE LIFE CLASS

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UNDERSTANDING HOW YOUR MIND WORKS

Are Your Thoughts Making You FAT ? BY ANDREA AMADOR

hat do you tell yourself when you look in the mirror? Think about the things that you hear your inner critic saying when you try to zip up a skirt that’s too tight. Are you relaxed and chilled about it as you reach for the next larger size, or does it instantly send you into freak out mode and ruin your entire day? When you’re hungry and you want pizza, do you just say, ‘’Awesome, pizza! I want that.’’? Or do you go through endless, guiltridden justifications about why you can’t eat it, how many calories it has, how shameful or fattening your choice and how much exercise you’ll have to do this week in order to ‘earn’ it? And if that’s your deal, how do you feel when you see your best friend pigging out in front of you on the pizza you’ve already decided you can’t have? Really think about it. What are you saying about your body? A while ago, when I was working at Avenue (a women’s retail plus size national clothing store), I met a customer who was looking for a bra. When I asked her what I could do to help her, she told me that she wanted to find a 40DDD bra with a very rigid underwire because she had the boobs of destruction. Actually, she didn’t say boobs. The word she used rhymes with wits. Yup! You guessed it! T... of destruction. And that’s just a small sampling of the many times I’ve been a witness to hearing what women really think about their bodies and how second nature it’s become to put themselves down in front of others. At Avenue, I had a

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colleague who every time she talked about her body, she would call herself names like, “Fat Ass or Tub ‘o Lard or Beached Whale.” It made me cringe. As a coach and friend, I argued with her endlessly about this. I tried to explain how and why she was doing herself so much harm, talking to herself so disrespectfully but she said that she did this to motivate herself to stop eating so much. She explained that she was angry with herself because she felt so out of control around food. Two years earlier she had undergone lap band surgery and had lost 80 pounds since that time. With her life in the chaos following her mother’s death, she had regained about 40 of those pounds and felt disgusted with herself. The more defeated and depressed she became, the angrier she got with herself. And her only way of numbing her feelings was to eat. Sadly, there was nothing that I could do to convince her to start to reclaim control of her body by changing her thoughts. She just didn’t get the connection. And pretty soon she stopped wanting to talk to me. My guess is it was because I was telling her some things she didn’t want to hear. She just refused to imagine how or why she could ever be entitled to treat herself kindly or lovingly before she lost the weight that she wanted. Can you relate? Does that sound like you? Are you being hard on yourself too? Are you also thinking that you can motivate your efforts to change by trash talking your body? As much as I wish I could, I can’t change how every woman talks to herself, but as long I have your attention, I want to tell you why you must think more carefully about what you say and pay closer attention to notice how you think about your body and your relationship to food. Are you with me? Ok. Here it is:

Did you know that if you’re thinking fearful thoughts and having negative responses to what you see in your mirror and the food that’s on your plate you could be making yourself fat?

YOU CAN’T BE THIN IF YOU’RE THINKING FAT. –-- DR. NANCY BONIOS, CREATOR OF THE BEYOND DIETING PROGRAM” Research shows that in the growing scientific field of mind/ body medicine, there is a powerful connection between your mind and your body. And among other things that affect your ability to lose weight. It’s true. Thinking and feeling fat can prevent you from becoming thin. Here’s a scientific experiment that proves why:

From that experiment, Dr. Rodin theorized that, since we always have nutrients in our bodies, the increased insulin, produced by the stress response of being “tempted by the food” created a chemical reaction in the body that resulted in an insulin conversion to fat in the volunteers. That means that by simply thinking negatively about eating, getting fat, or entertaining self- sabotaging thoughts about how fat you look or feel, it will actually send that message to your body to produce more chemicals which will trigger the insulin production response converting your body’s latent nutrients to fat! And that basically means that you can get fatter without putting a thing in your mouth!!! So what’s the deal? Are you doomed to be fat forever? No. In short, to counteract that chemical response to the increased insulin in your body, you need to change the way that you respond to food and your body. That’s what I’m offering to teach you. Your ability to master food all begins with learning how to control your thoughts.

Back in the 1980’s when Dr. Judith Rodin was a medical student she did research at Yale University. Her experiments suggested that people could gain weight by simply smelling, seeing or thinking about food. Here’s what she did: She just showed a piece of steak to volunteers who were fasting. Then the meat was cooked in front of them. No one ate the steak. As part of the experiment, the volunteers had their blood drawn and analyzed before, during and after the test. Despite the fact that no one ate anything, the results demonstrated a dramatic increase in their insulin levels.

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YOUR FAMILIES’ TRUTHS: THE FOUNDATION OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND BELIEFS The things you believe deep down in your heart comes from how you were raised and all the experiences you’ve had related to yourself and others from the time you were a baby. Science has proven that everything we see, hears, feel, taste and touch from the time we are 0-7 years old become hard-wired in our memory and we judge all of the life-based on what we learned during those years. Your ideas about trusting people, relationships, your body, money, religion, it all comes from what you were taught from the time you were a toddler. That’s how we create rules about the way the world works. Just like a sponge, you’ve been soaking up other people’s ideas and making them your own. But it’s many of these recycled memories that are just so much crap, that we can’t ever imagine them not being true. And because they feel true to you, you’ve made every decision for your life based on those truths.

Visual/eyes - You’ll see a picture of yourself making the eggs in your mind’s eye – Ever get an image of a food that you can’t seem to get out of your head? Auditory/ears – You’ll hear yourself say in your mind’s ear or in your imagination, “I’m hungry. I could really go for some scrambled eggs now. You may also be reminded of a time when you heard the sounds of eggs being prepared; the beating of the eggs, the scratch of the fork on the surface of the dish or pan, etc.

Just like a sponge, you’ve been soaking up other people’s ideas and making them your own. But it’s many of these recycled memorites that are just so much crap, that we can’t ever imagine them not being true.

In other words, our thoughts lead to our actions or inactions. So if your mother had bad experiences with men or struggled with her own negative feelings about her body, there’s a good chance that you’ve picked up a lot of her fears and insecurities because you’re probably walking around with her voice in your head telling you how ‘things really are.’ And it’s these silly, horrible negative thoughts that you try to dismiss as being nothing, that has got you so stuck, unable to get past them.

HOW’S THIS THOUGHT THING IT WORKS? Let’s say you want to have scrambled eggs for breakfast. Before you can eat them, you have to first think about them. You have to think about the process of making them. Because we take information about the world into our

bodies through our five senses, there are different ways that your thoughts can get triggered. Here are the five different senses and how they relate to your decision to make scrambled eggs.

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KINESTHETIC/TOUCH When you pick up your frying pan in your hand, it instantly reminds you of the last time you made a great plate of scrambled eggs.

OLFACTORY/NOSE You remember a time you smelled scrambled eggs cooking and it makes you want to make them again.

GUSTATORY/TASTE You might get hit with a sense memory of a time you tasted scrambled eggs and enjoyed them. This is when you may say that you have a ‘taste’ for something.

These are just a few examples, but they usually don’t occur alone. You get cravings for foods and decide to do things because you are hit with a multitude of these memories that keep on repeating themselves over and over in your mind until you do something about it. This is an example of emotional hunger when your thoughts are making you think that you’re hungry. Pretty soon before you know it, you’ve made up your mind, and you’re running to the kitchen to pick up a frying

pan and begin the process of scrambling up those eggs. It all happens in a millisecond, but basically, you act on the thoughts that are connected with the most intense emotions. Since I happen to love softly scrambled eggs, and I’ve been thinking of all the wonderful memories that I have around eating them as I write this, there’s a really good chance that when I get hungry tomorrow morning, I’ll decide to have scrambled eggs. But if I knew that I couldn’t eat them, then I would want them right now, at 4:02 in the morning. Now as I check in with my body, it tells me that I’m way more tired than hungry so eating the eggs is the furthest thing from my mind. But when I’m hungry, I may feel differently. Since you may not be a fan of scrambled eggs, this description doesn’t fire up your senses because your emotions don’t get excited by the thought of eating the eggs. But now think about the food you love and substitute that everywhere you see scrambled eggs written. You’ll probably notice yourself salivating, in anticipation of wanting to eat the food that you enjoy. Now for most people eggs is a pretty neutral thing. But let’s up the ante, and say that you can’t shake a painful memory of a time when somebody hurt you, and every time you’re reminded of that incident, you fall to pieces. Maybe you were bitten by a dog when you were a kid, and now every time you hear, see or even think of a dog you start to freak out. Your body may even break out in hives and you’ll experience a full-scale allergic reaction. All these memory markers that involve your senses are called Anchors. No matter what, whenever your emotions are on board, you’ll follow the pattern of what your mind has created. First, you do something in your mind and then you follow with action. The same goes for your thoughts leading to inaction. If you say to yourself that you want to go out walking every day, but you keep on visualizing yourself sitting on the sofa, and feeling so attached to how relaxed and comfortable that makes you feel, the picture in your mind of being happy and safe sitting on the sofa will win out because it’s charged with emotion. You’ll never want to get up off the sofa.

mind, affects your body and vice versa. Let’s say that you love cookies and someone offers you a whole plateful of all your favorites. Just the mere thought of thinking about eating them will cause your mouth to instantly fill with saliva. This is an example of your mind and thoughts affecting your body.

HOW YOUR THOUGHTS COULD BE SABOTAGING YOUR PROGRESS Have you ever tried on a pair of pants that are too tight and immediately you feel horrible about yourself? Isn’t that the quickest route to a binge? This is your body affecting your mind. Scientific research has proven that there is a complex system of communication that goes on consistently between your mind and body. This goes on behind the scenes without you having any conscious awareness of it. Scientists have isolated neurotransmitters (chemical messengers of thought) and discovered that they are in every cell of our bodies. That means that your body and mind are always standing at attention, waiting patiently for you to issue commands. The things you tell yourself will determine how you feel and what you do. So now that you know more about how your internal thinking engine runs, what kind of higher quality fuel will you provide for yourself. No. I’m not talking about cutting calories and eating healthier. I’m talking about the real fat that needs to be cut from your life. Those negative thoughts and memories that are triggering your urge to eat everything in sight and making you feel like you should be punished or made miserable. That’s why you may have been speaking to yourself in the way you have. Now to get you started on the right foot to reclaiming your power over food and your body, you have to become more mindful of what you’re thinking. So the very next time you catch your brain tossing you a whopper of a thought that doesn’t feel good, just stand back a moment and say, “Is this really true?”

The brain works on the basis of making pictures, so you’ll do what you see. Simply put anything that affects your

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A GIFT YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF BY KAY JAMES

hat have you done for you lately? Seriously, think about it. See if you can make a list of ten things that you have done for you, and you alone, in the past 30 days. Now, cross off anything requiring the assistance of a certified professional, such as a personal trainer, stylist, therapist, esthetician, masseuse, or chef. Put a line through anything else that happened in a retail setting. If you are like most modern women—overworked, overachieving, and overscheduled—your list is probably empty. Put yourself back on your to do list today, make YOU a priority and give yourself the gift of time. Despite how it may seem, you are in charge of your schedule. Carve out time to do nothing—an hour a day, a week, or once a month. Don’t just say you are going to do nothing, actually put the word, NOTHING, into your schedule. During that allotted time, be out of touch. No email, no phone calls, no texts. Be off the grid. Then, spend that time doing something that is both enjoyable, relaxing, and is an activity that isn’t already in your schedule. This is not an extra hour to get in yet another gym class or organizing session. More than likely, the activity you choose to do in this gifted time will be something that you view as unproductive. Dismiss that thought. Gifts often serve no other purpose than to give the recipient pleasure and that does not diminish their importance. Not sure what to do? I have two of my favorites below. Try the following and then develop your earned gift time activities. Listen to one of your favorite albums in its entirety. In the iPod era, music has slowly become a soundtrack to our lives instead of being the main event. We listen to music to help

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us get things done or to drown out noise and sometimes we don’t even hear it. Unplug the headphones, turn up the volume and enjoy. Listen to the words, feel the beat, get enveloped in the experience that this recording artist has worked so hard to bring to you. Sing or dance around, as you feel so inclined. Choose an album that brings back precious memories or one that puts in the perfect mood. Don’t do anything else except listen until the music stops. Bliss out with a lengthy savasana. Savasana, or corpse pose, is yoga posture that releases stress and tension. Lie on the floor with your feet and arms slightly akimbo and your palms facing up. With your eyes closed, control your breath so that you are taking steady elongated inhales and exhales. Scan your body for any muscle tension and try to release it. Clear your mind of any thoughts, positive or negative, and simple relax into the posture. To exit the posture slowly wiggle your fingers and toes and proceed into full body stretch.

PUT YOURSELF BACK ON YOUR TO DO LIST TODAY, MAKE YOU A PRIORITY, AND GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF TIME.

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7 STEPS TO

RECLAIM YOUR LIFE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF & OTHERS BY ANDREA AMADOR

“Until you learn to heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed into the future.” – IYANLA VANZANT

re you holding onto a grudge?

Are you refusing to forgive someone who has done you wrong? In his book, “Let it Go: Forgive So You Can Be Forgiven,” author and minister, Bishop T.D. Jakes says, “Unforgiveness unchecked becomes a cancer in our soul. “We think that unforgiveness protects us, but in reality, it really doesn’t. It poisons us, rather than protects us. If you think about it, forgiveness has everything to do with you and nothing to do with the other person.” The worst part of it is that instead of just cutting you off from that person, it blocks you from taking the risk of loving and trusting again. Your fear leads you into a state of isolation. You become a prisoner of your past, giving up your power to the one who has robbed you; not just of the moment that they violated you, but of your future as well.” According to Jakes, unforgiveness is like a cancer of your soul, spreading and moving to every area of your life, poisoning everything it touches. Think of the ways it affects your mood, your energy, your attitude, your relationships, your family, how you treat other people, your ability to trust, your willingness to give and receive love. It all gets affected. Unforgiveness eats up your personality, your creativity, your faith, your peace of mind, your health and in a worst case scenario your will to live. You may hold resentment toward someone in your past and

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

whenever you’re reminded of that person, you will have a tendency to overreact. For example, if you’re angry with your ex-husband, and your current husband does something to remind you of your ex, you fly off the handle and start reacting to your husband as though he were your ex. Guilty until proven innocent. Pretty soon you’re building walls around yourself to keep the wrong people out.

FORGIVING DOESN’T MEAN FORGETTING By forgiving others who have hurt you it doesn’t mean that you forget about what they did. You can’t forget about it. It was a powerful lesson that made you who you are. Forgiveness means that you willingly let go of the emotional ties that keep you feeling hurt and victimized each time you think of the person or remember the incident. You take back your power. They say that holding onto old resentments is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die. So why do we do it? We refuse to forgive and hold onto the past because we are afraid that forgiveness means that we condone the horrible things that people have done to harm us. Having been shaken to the core, we also really want to know that those who have betrayed us are suffering for what they have done. I held onto my story as a victim for a lot of years. As a woman who has survived a great deal of sexual and

emotional abuse, and a lot of tough times, I’ve learned that holding onto the anger and the hatred that you feel towards those who have hurt you, will only make YOU miserable. For decades, I lived under a dark cloud of sadness, feeling so deeply ashamed of my body. I kept telling myself that this was my lot in life and there was nothing that I could do about it. I figured my future had been stolen from me by my past and I didn’t see any possibilities up ahead for a brighter future. Everything about me screamed victim. My body language, my blaming, my tendency toward being a martyr. I procrastinated and put off and made so many excuses for not wanting to live in the present because I was stuck in the past. Enraged at being violated, I resorted to stuffing my feelings, trying to suffocate my rage. Because I believed that good girls didn’t get angry and express their emotions or were bold enough to ask for what they needed, I used food to tranquilize my pain. Now I realize that the forgiveness that I withheld and the anger and resentment I was holding onto wasn’t hurting anyone but me. Loss and sadness is a natural part of life and most people are in the process of healing from some kind of hurt, whether physical or emotional. It’s our nature to

To paraphrase the beloved 70’s singer, Barry White, “Too much of anything is not good for you.” Anything that you do as a means of trying to escape the way that you feel is like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. But what do you do when you’re hurting and you just want to make the pain go away?

MY RECIPE FOR FORGIVENESS In the process of writing my book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In” I went through a lot of grieving of my losses. After years of trying to cover up my hurts using food and blaming my fat thighs and curvy body for my misery, I realized that the problem was not what I was eating. It was what was eating me!

EVERYTHING ABOUT ME SCREAMED VICTIM. I PROCRASTINATED AND PUT OFF AND MADE SO MANY EXCUSES FOR NOT WANTING TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT BECAUSE I WAS STUCK IN THE PAST.

try to avoid feeling pain. We tend to seek out ways to selfmedicate that are most familiar. My drug of choice was food. What’s yours? Some of the things we do to distract us and escape our reality are: Zoning out in front of the TV, eating a gallon of ice cream, working ‘round the clock, drinking the whole bottle of wine, popping pills, taking drugs, shopping, gambling, masturbating, one night stands, pornography, spending hours surfing the web, smoking, playing video games. Just a sampling of how we try to hide from our emotions.

One day while standing naked in front of my mirror, I heard the old familiar angry voices in my head, saying that I was fat, ugly and stupid. In that moment, I finally realized that voice wasn’t mine. It was someone who had hurt me in the past. My dad was someone who I loved deeply despite his inability to love me. I realized that in my unending quest for his approval, I had become as critical of myself as he was of me. In an effort to hold onto some small part of him, I had somehow become my own worst enemy.

As I began the process of healing, I realized that the reason my eating was out of control was because I was hurting so much. So much sadness. When I looked deeper into and explored that hurt, I confronted a lot of anger. As I took steps to deal with those angry emotions, that’s when my desperate hunger began to quiet down. Here is the 7 step RECLAIM system that I use myself and teach others. It’s helped me to lighten my load, so that I could let go, forgive and take steps to rebuild my life:

1. Take 100% responsibility for your life – Accept that your life turned out the way it did for a reason. You may not like the horrible things that have been done to you, or CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

the circumstances you’ve faced, but they have made you who you are. Be honest with yourself right now. Be willing to open your eyes and see what’s in front of you. Start where you are. Then if you don’t like what you see, gather the courage to do something about it. Stop blaming others and realize that the power to change your life lies in your ability to make choices.

2. Embrace your emotions – Carve out some time in your day to listen. Meditate, pray or sit in silence as often as you can. That’s the best way to drown out the busyness of your life and tune into what’s really going on inside of you. Ask yourself how you feel about things. Are you really okay with what you say you are or are you just settling? Pay attention to your emotions. Face the truth of what you are feeling. Listen to the wisdom of your inner guidance, your intuition, God or your higher self.

3. Cope with your stress – Whenever you recognize that you’re off balance, angry, feeling overwhelmed, confused, sad, anxious, fearful or any other emotion that makes you feel out of control and upset, cope with your stress. Do yoga, meditate, get a massage, go for an acupuncture treatment, take a hot bath. These are all great ways to live more peacefully with fewer pills and less pain. As a Certified Energy Coach, I like to teach my clients an energy psychology stress relief method called Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT. By tapping on certain comfort spots on your body while focusing or verbalizing what’s bothering you, you get a double whammy stress bustin’ benefit. It’s like getting a massage during a therapy session. In all the years I’ve spent in therapy working on my many issues, I wish I knew about it then. There’s nothing quite like EFT for working on forgiveness or anger. In a matter of minutes, you can melt away years of tears and find joy and peace where there was once only pain.

4. Love your body –It’s your body. Own it. Dress the body you have, stop waiting for the one you want. Go out and get clothes that make you feel and look good. Whatever size and shape you are, it’s important to love and accept your body in order to feel comfortable enough to live with yourself. Stop doing all things that are not honoring of your highest good. Remind yourself often that you’re absolutely perfect as you are. Then send love and positive energy to your body and think empowering thoughts. Reconnect with parts of your body that you may have long ago disowned for being imperfect. Touch and caress those parts of you that are still overweight and not exactly the

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way you want them to be. Get some massage oil and rub it all over, setting an intention to connect with yourself at a deeper level. Consider for a moment. What parts of your body have been lacking love? The next time you overeat ask yourself the following questions: What’s happening? How am I feeling? How have I overcommitted myself? You’ll quickly switch from blaming mode to being more compassionate.

5. Act to Attract – Clean house, inside and out. Do what

AS AUTHOR, JACK CANFIELD SAYS, “WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WONDERFUL TO FOCUS ON OR LOOK FORWARD TO, YOU BECOME A HAPPIER PERSON AND YOUR LIFE BECOMES RICHER. AND ISN’T THAT YOU REALLY WANT?

you can and leave the rest to God, the universe or whatever other name you give your higher power. Go through your house and heart and make a list of everything that gets under your skin. Anything you can actually do something about to change your situation, do it. Don’t carry the world on your shoulders. Delegate responsibility to others. Dump or donate whatever doesn’t fit in your life anymore. When you clear your space of clutter, emotional, physical, spiritual and mental, you’ll feel lighter, more relaxed and free. This includes letting go of all past hurts, resentments and disappointments. Forgive yourself and others. To regain your self-respect, negotiate new rules. Set boundaries. Be willing to face rejection. Recognize that you deserve the very best. Know your deal breakers, and stand by yourself no matter what.

6. Set a powerful intention – Use the power of your mind to create and envision a better life for yourself. Spend time focusing on what you want your life to look like. In relationships, see yourself interacting with the important people in your life in healthy ways, enjoying their company and being happy. This can create a new point of attraction that changes the dynamic of your relationship. When you change the way you act, others will follow. Visualize your goals. This is the best way to create effortless change. As my dear friend and mentor, professional singer/songwriter, Jana Stanfield says, “Let the change begin within. “

7. Mastermind – You are the company you keep. If you want to create more happiness in your life, spend time with happy people. If you want to learn how to love yourself more, surround yourself with those who have the ability to show love. Whatever you want to achieve, you can get there faster, by spending time with others who are of like mind. These are the steps that have worked for me to recreate my life and help me to move past a lot of sludge in my life. Give them a try and see if they will work for you.

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LIVING LIFE OUT LOUD BY KAY JAMES

o fully give of ourselves without reservation despite the possible threat of rejection is, for some, one of our greatest fears. Yet, in the molecules of bravery, risk positions us for victory. To take a chance and still be found standing regardless of the outcome is to become one with our authentic selves along the way. We crave companionship but resist vulnerability. We love romance stories but hide bits and pieces of our own story. We hope to love others but struggle with loving all our scars, our past, our struggles, believed failures and the euphoria of achievement. We remain in a constant fight with ourselves not realizing that how we feel about our whole is being mirrored in the interactions and relationships we attract into our lives. Life and love are both so fragile and made to be unnecessarily complexed at times; our chances to experience both at their highest level put on hold waiting for us to realize our greatest desires are on the other side of freedom. What if today we intentionally committed to being present, transparent and vulnerable? We lowered our walls, opened the white picket fence and shared who we really are? Instead of speaking from the disguised platform of our insecurities or defenses we spoke from a place of confidence in even our failures: this is who I really am and be okay with it? What are we so afraid will happen that we stand behind the shield of feeding the world and those closest to us only a portion of who we are, or worse, we paint a picture that reflects who we think they want us to be? Why do we hide behind the comfort of our jobs, busy lives and facade, if what we truly want is on the other side of transparency?

It takes a bold step to not care what others think and an equally bold step to share openly who you are at the risk that you may be judged, misunderstood or lose the closeness of friends and family. Yet, this will be the most freeing gift you can give yourself. To know for sure that those around you support you at your worst and love the very fabric of your soul. A desire for ourselves to enjoy rich interactions, solid in truth and exploding freedom. For no other reason than life is simply too short and time too precious to cheat yourself of life at its highest form. Life, I believe is meant to be lived nose wide open, smiling from ear to ear, each moment out of breath from your every encounter.

WHAT IF TODAY WE INTENTIONALLY COMMITTED TO BEING PRESENT, TRANSPARENT AND VULNERABLE? WE LOWERED OUR WALLS, OPENED THE WHITE PICKET FENCE AND SHARED WHO WE REALLY ARE? CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

SUMMER TRAVEL TIPS:

HOW TO NETWORK ON A PLANE BY LINDA ARROZ

t’s not unusual to do business on a plane these days. If you’re new to the world of business travel or have been shy to strike up conversations with fellow passengers in the past, here’s a few suggestions to get you going.

BE PREPARED A little advance reconnaissance about your destination and the cities of any connecting flights can go a long way for an initial small talk. Learn about a great restaurant that just opened, a big company that’s opening a division in that locale, a museum exhibition, all of these things are ways to ask or suggest to your seat-mate: ‘‘Did you know...Have you seen...or I’d love your feedback.’’ Once the conversation is going, there will be organic opportunities to guide the topics to your advantage.

BODY LANGUAGE It’s important to read the body language of the person to gauge if they want to carry on a conversation beyond the initial pleasantries one would exchange with a seat-mate. If the person immediately puts on headphones or has a sleep mask at the ready, don’t make a move. If they launch a movie or order the featured film on the flight, then you’re not likely to get much going, unless you can start a chat after the film.

DEVICES AND READING MATERIALS The reading materials and devices the person sitting next to you are always a great clue.

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iPad vs. Kindle = Kindles are usually reading books, vs. the iPad could be looking at anything and the conversation can start about technology and how do you use your device. Often clues about the person’s profession or vocation come up organically during a discussion about technology. Kindle users aren’t usually so tech savvy, although initially, you could say they were early adaptors. If the person is reading the Wall Street Journal, you know the individual has an interest in the big picture of the economy. You might ask if you could read a section of the paper, most people will oblige. Conversation can begin about an article or news item.

BEVERAGE SERVICE When the beverage service comes down the aisle is always a good time to start up a conversation. If your seat-mate is sleeping, let the flight attendant address the person, that way, you won’t be the pest that disturbed their nap. If the person orders an alcoholic beverage, you might talk about your favorite scotch or the first time you had Vernors, try to create a small talk opener. Since you’re basically having lunch, it’s often easy to ask if you’re traveling for pleasure or business and guide the conversation from there. You’d be surprised what you can find out. Those who master the art of small talk to connect the dots are going to have better luck.

For example, if they’re visiting a city for the first time and you have some great recommendations for them, offer to email the name of a great restaurant, car service, etc. This is always a good excuse to exchange business cards, connect via Facebook or LinkedIn. Look for the common threads in the conversations. Places to eat, business associates in similar fields, a project you worked on that could have used their expertise and vice versa.

FIRST CLASS There’s an assumption that if you’re in First Class, you’re successful in some way. There’s an air of privilege there. I find that when the wine is flowing, the men, in particular, spread out, and will share anecdotes. I never interrupt anyone who is working unless it’s the beverage service, or they need to get by me to use the bathroom. These are both opportunities to strike up a conversation. Some of my ‘‘leads’’ are: ‘‘Looks like you’re on deadline,’’ or ‘‘What program are you working in, I’ve tried X, but it doesn’t meet my / my companies’ needs.’’ Men have the advantage of always being able to talk about sports or hobbies, and are usually more forthcoming about their work or business, and will usually always offer a business card. Over the years, I’ve dated two men I met on planes and forged a strategic alliance with another, and thirty years later, we are still collaborating on various projects. I find that women talk about clothes, family, hobbies, and business, not necessarily in that order. You never know when you’re going to meet someone who will make a difference in your life. They say luck is preparedness meets opportunity. Enjoy your flight, but should an opportunity come knocking, be sure to answer the door.

THEY SAY LUCK IS PREPAREDNESS MEETS OPPORTUNITY.

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FESTIVAL GUIDE

BY JAZZLYN KIRKLAND

CONCERT TOURS, MUSIC FESTIVALS, WHAT’S HOT ON THE MUSIC SCENE THIS SUMMER

There is such a need for music and so many people are craving that one-onone experience that you just can’t get watching YouTube, staring at your phone. 54

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pril showers, Bring May Flowers… We have all heard that statement a few hundred times in our life. But, I like to think of April and May as the official kick off to the summer music madness. The sun starts to shine a little bit brighter, the skies even get a bit bluer and that means it’s time to get that butt off of the couch and expose yourself to some music. Hip Hop, Rap, and Pop are making a killer come back this year with the likes of Future, Lady Gaga, and Ariana Grande headlining full on stadium tours. The EDM takeover is still going strong with huge festivals like Electric Daisy Carnival and Phoenix Lights. There is such a need for music and so many people are craving that one-on-one

experience that you just can’t get watching YouTube, staring at your phone. 2017 Is going to be the best year of providing many different genres of music being made available to everyone all over the country. Bringing people together from all walks of life, to share a unique environment full of music and memories. With so many festivals and tours this year I went through and dug out a few of my personal favorites.

ARIANA GRANDE – DANGEROUS WOMAN TOUR Grande definitely knows what it means to go all out for a music tour, making stops throughout all of North America not missing a beat. Ariana’s tour kicked off in February on the west coast in Arizona and will end mid-April in Florida. Bringing her beautiful voice, bold fashion and

banging dance moves, she’s making sure her audience goes side to side.

ESSENCE MUSIC FESTIVAL – JUNE 29TH – JULY 2ND, 2017 – NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA Essence Music Festival presented by Coca-Cola will be taking over New Orleans during the 4th of July holiday weekend. Solonge, Diana Ross, Mary J. Blige, Chance The Rapper and John Legend are a few of the headliners gracing the multiple stages of the festival. Come and get your learn on while you’re here at the “Empowerment” stage featuring know public speakers and influential celebrities.

ED SHEERAN - WORLD TOUR 2017 Mr. Sheeran is going to be one busy man for all of 2017. Ed’s tour is starting overseas in March hitting countries CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

like Switzerland, Germany and The United Kingdom then turns right around and headlines a multi-city tour in the United States from June to August. Most tour dates for Ed Sheeran are completely sold out so make sure to grab your seats early.

After Lady Gaga’s superstar performance during the Superbowl Halftime show, it only seemed fitting for the Mega mogul to set out on tour this summer. Gaga’s tour starts with her Coachella performance in April and she continues her tour until December.

PHOENIX LIGHTS FESTIVAL – APRIL 8TH – APRIL 9TH, 2017 – PHOENIX ARIZONA

ELECTRIC DAISY CARNIVAL – JUNE 16TH – JUNE 18TH – LAS VEGAS, NEVADA

My favorite music festival of all of 2016 is making a triumphant return to the desert in 2017. Phoenix Lights Music Festival is put on by Relentless Beats, Relentless Beats is a known event production company and music supplier hailing out of Arizona. After riding high off of their wildly successful New Year’s Eve production “Decadence” RB brought the heat to their Spring Festival. Headlining acts include; Tiesto, 21 Savage, Zed’s Dead, Zhu, Cashmere Cat and Crizzly just to name a few. Tickets are still available.

Every year for the past 8 years this music festival has become a staple of my summertime shenanigans. Insomniac presents “Electric Daisy Carnival” is one of the biggest Electronic Dance Music festivals in the United States. This year the festival opted to move the date up from its normal 2nd to last week in June spot to make soon for an additional week for their Mid West Music Festival Electric Forest. Tickets are currently on sale. The lineup features some of today’s biggest names in EDM and is a sure-fire way to set your summer off on the right path.

VAN’S WARPED TOUR – SUMMER 2017

FUTURE TOUR – FUTURE, MIGOS, TORY LANEZ AND KODAK BLACK

Man, where can I start with the Van’s Warped Tour? This historical festival has been a yearly summer treat since the early 1990’s. My very first concert ever was Van’s Warped Tour in Jacksonville, Florida as a little pre-teen… Anyway, let me get off of memory lane. Warped Tour starts in June and runs well into the end of August. The 2017 tour lineup drops on March 22nd but historically speaking you could look for bands like Sum 41, Mayday Parade, Whitechapel, Falling In Reverse, and The Summer Set. But who knows what this 2017 lineup will look like. Skrillex (Sonny) did just reunite with From First to Last, we will soon find out.

MOVEMENT DETROIT – MAY 27TH – MAY 29TH, 2017 – DETROIT, MICHIGAN Michigan’s premier Electronic Dance Music Festival is back for more in 2017. This Memorial Day Weekend festival has been bringing the beats to Detroit since 2006 and plans on keeping the party rocking for years to come. Movement is known for bringing diversity to their lineup and they nail it again this year. Carl Cox, Richie Hawtin, Juicy J, Jaime Jones, Thundercat, Dj Deep, Golf Clap, Shiba San, Cassy, Dusky, Danny Brown… I could literally keep typing but if you want to check out the full like up head over to movement.us.

LADY GAGA – JOANNE WORLD TOUR Mother monster is back! She is here in 2017 to show us a softer more delicate side to her outrageous persona following the success of her multi-genre album “Joanne”.

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If you say one name in music right now that will ring bells all across the U.S. The name would have to be Future. His slick lyrics paired with his charming good looks have the crowds screaming for his attention (I just saw him do a surprise performance here in Vegas). Whatever the “It” factor is, Mr. Future has that plus a bag of potato chips. And as if that wasn’t enough of a reason to buy tickets, Future brings out the original Bad and Boujee boys “ Migos” to help add even more turn up to this tour.

IMAGINE MUSIC FESTIVAL - SEPTEMBER 22ND – SEPTEMBER 24TH – ATLANTA MOTOR SPEEDWAY – ATLANTA, GEORGIA Imagine Music Festival is located down south in Atlanta, Georgia closing out the summer during the end of September. This dance music festival has a vibe all of its own bringing out musicians, bands, acts as well as your favorite DJ’s and producers to keep you entertained all weekend long. The location of the festival moving to the Atlanta Speedway has helped increased its popularity over the past 2 years. This year’s theme is “An Aquatic Fairytale”. Make sure you have your dancing shoes ready and your mermaid gear in tow for this can’t miss festival of 2017 And that’s all she wrote! I hope to run into some of you at some of these shows.

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1. PRINCESS VERA WANG SALLY LACE CROSS-BODY BAG 2. NYX MATTE LIPSTICK, PURE RED 3. MAC RUSSIAN RED 4. ROUGE PUR COUTURE BY YVES SAINT LAURENT 5. YOU “RED” MY MIND 6. FASHION TO FIGURE HYPED ON STRIPES SHEER TOP 7. FOREVER 21 HIGH-LOW GEO COMBO DRESS 8. ‘‘MARIA’’ CHIFFON SLEEVE PEPLUM ROMPER - CORAL 9. ASOS CURVE MIXED PRINT BOMBER 10. ASOS CURVE EXCLUSIVE SHIRT IN STRIPE

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Festival Season MUST HAVES BY JAZZLYN KIRKLAND

CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

BY JOSH LOGAN

BEHIND THE SOUND

he clattering of red sole high heels connecting to concrete is muffled by sounds from car horns, sirens and small chit chat of ticket holders anticipating the night. Patrons are rushing into the already nearly over capacitated building that has been historic to some of Detroit’s music legacy for almost 100 years. Lines of people rocking their Sunday’s best on this cool Friday night. ‘‘This my girl,’’ one shouts. ‘‘Man, she knows she’s just too sexy!’’ a group of men high five in agreement, finely trimmed, passing by leaving clouds of Issey Miyake & Dolce & Gabbana fragrances. Grown and sexy at its best had to have been the theme of this intimate night that brought all types of fans and music lovers together for this charitable «Urban Sound Experience» concert. This is Detroit at it’s finest. Walking towards the back of the Max M. Fisher Music Center, security checks and identifies before allowing access to the building only then to shove a crew of 6 into an elevator, and from there, quickly into a dressing room. The room sat closely across from another one whose oak door read, ‘‘Marsha Ambrosius’’. Shortly after unpacking camera equipment and stage lights, the group is interrupted

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during their tweets and Facebook updates by the beautiful British songstress voice asking, ‘‘Where is Joshyy?’’ The same previously acquainted security guards then escort the group to her dressing room, which was decorated with scented candles, fresh fruit, and bottled Fiji water. Simple with elegance and not over the top, just like the guest the room hosted for that evening. Perfect enough so CURVY Magazine can attempt to decode and get deep into the mind of the multi-platinum and Grammy nominated artist, debuting our new television segment TV-CURVY. Walking in, we witness Marsha doing what she’s does best, connecting with her fans she calls Martians, by playing them in a few rounds of the addictive word game, Ruzzle, on her iPhone. (She beat me before by over 1000 points!) Greetings and hugs were exchanged before we began covering topics such as working with pop icon Michael Jackson during his last days, from first loves to breakups, and even sex tapes! The 35-year-old, wearing a pair of white suit pants that complimented her curves, a black blazer that sat over her shoulders and was centered by beautiful gold jewelry, and her hair that was styled in a French twist in the front and freely flowing hair behind, opened up and gave CURVY one exclusive interview!

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CURVY: THANK YOU, MARSHA, FOR CHATTING WITH US. WE ARE GOING TO BEGIN WITH A TOPIC THAT EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW: THE BEGINNING AND ENDING OF THE HIT DUO FLOETRY. Wow, that was 7 years ago. [Counts her fingers] Actually, 2007 was the last time I spoke with Natalie [Stewart], but in December of 2006 in England, was our last show together. The end of Floetry was 2 young women who came into the business very early who were always separate artists. Nat was the Floacist and I was the songstress but we found something creatively that happened to work together. So, when I was over in the UK, I had already signed a publishing deal and was already established as a songwriter and a producer. I was thrown off of kinda being an artist and wanted to just chill. I’m very in the cut, and behind the scenes. I had a song called ‘‘Fantasize’’ and thought it would sound really cool with a poet on it, and that was the birth of Floetry in 1998 when I had that brilliant idea to throw a poet on my music. Then, the chemistry and the fusion between the two worked! Three albums in, when you become different people and the industry does to you what it does to you, you see this isn’t for everyone. You can tell the difference between the people it’s for and who it’s not. You grow with someone and move someone so much that you become two different people. So three albums in, clearly we’re both ready to do our own thing. So, she went to do her own thing and I went on to do mine.

SO, COULD WE EVER SEE A FLOETRY REUNION?

on every cartoon you could ever imagine. I’ve watched cartoons since forever, and it wasn’t just about sitting there watching them, the theme songs were amazing! It was about the music and the scores that transpired into a film. One of the earliest ones I can remember watching was ‘‘ET’’ where I really remember seeing something that young for the first time and how much that affected my life. As a kid, the majestic element of that made me believe in fantasy and imagination. So, that opened me up on that frame and it really was about the music part that stuck with me. I’m still a kid at heart.

OK, SO, YOU’RE MAKING YOUR WAY FROM THE SMALL SCREEN TO THE BIGGER SCREEN. WE JUST HEARD THAT YOU JUST DID A MOVIE DEAL WITH R&B ARTIST ANTHONY HAMILTON. LET’S DISCUSS THAT MORE. Yeah. It’s my first movie and I was absolutely excited when I found out that I got the part. I and Anthony Hamilton, who’ve I shared many stages with, have grown up on the same circuit. He’s such a southern gentlemen. Our voices in the film…it’s a moment let’s just say that. I’m excited for everyone to see it.

WE HEARD THAT IT WAS JUST A CAMEO. CAN WE SEE MARSHA ON THE BIG SCREEN IN AN ACTUAL ROLE? On it: Maybe, who knows? Behind the scenes: Possibly have written that movie, yeah. I’m working towards that before I sit here and act like I can act! I love writing films. I love writing film scores and stuff like that.

Reunions are for like grandparents (share a laugh). Artist doesn’t reunite, that’s something you do on a TV show. We weren’t built that way. This wasn’t something that was put together by Simon Cowell, (I actually heard that rumor the other day). It wasn’t something that was forced together, it was something that happens organically. And when life happens, that’s all there is. I’m comfortable where I’m at and I’ve always wished her well...and um…I’m doing me.

TOP THREE FILMS?

SO WE WON’T SEE ONE?

Playing basketball. My father was a coach and my brother played. I didn’t know what life would be without it until I tore ligaments and ruined my life.

You might. I never said that. But, I will say that I’m comfortable right here.

GOING OFF YOUR SIMON COWELL COMMENT, LETS TALK TV. WE SEE THAT YOU LOVE ‘‘FAMILY GUY’’ AND OTHER CARTOONS. CAN WE GET MORE INTO THAT? Oh my goodness. It’s dim from early Disney; I’ve just been

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Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Poltergeist, and the third one is really difficult. I would say ET, but then it’s Jaws. All very music-based. John Williams in Jaws is impeccable…absolutely impeccable!

SO, BEFORE SINGING, WHAT WAS MARSHA DOING?

YOUR FATHER AND BASKETBALL ALSO HAS A CONNECTION TO YOU MUSICALLY BECAUSE– My manager is the son of the infamous Julius ‘‘Dr. Jay’’ Erving. It’s crazy because my father coached a summer league with Dr. Jay in the 80’s and this was prior to me ever knowing that I would take a free trip to Philadelphia

I DIDNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T KNOW WHAT LIFE WOULD BE WITHOUT IT UNTIL I TORE LIGAMENTS AND RUINED MY LIFE. CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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COMPARISONS ARE JUST A WAY OF PEOPLE IDENTIFYING HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT YOU. 66

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and meet his son, who then would become my manager for the past 13 years.

TALKING ABOUT BASKETBALL, LET’S GET INTO EXERCISE. EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT. WHEN IT GOES UP AND DOWN, HOW DO YOU MAINTAIN YOUR ’’CURVINESS’’? DO YOU STILL PLAY THE MICHAEL JACKSON EXPERIENCE ON THE NINTENDO WII? Oh yeah, I still throw out! It’s the Wii, it’s Zumba. I love my insanity…thank you. Shawn T…I hate his voice now because he just resonates in my brain saying, ‘‘use your core’’ so now everything I do, I use my core!

SO HOW DO YOU GET TO ENJOY YOUR DOWN TIME? My down time is sleeping on the flights to the next designation. So, if I’m mean to the flight attendants, I don’t mean it! I use to dread travel but now I look forward to it because I know I’m going to sleep! I’m praying for a vacation this year. I usually take my family to Disney World once a year. My brother just had a baby and I’m waiting for her to get just a little bit older so she can enjoy it. Not really, it’s so we can actually enjoy her running around with little Minnie Mouse ears on–

COULD WE SEE A FUTURE TRACK WITH EITHER OF THESE LADIES? Jill and I actually did a track together. If you have the bonus deluxe version of her album [Who is Jill Scott Vol.1] you can hear me in the background singing on ‘‘A Long Walk (Remix)’’.

SO YOU DIDN’T HAVE AN ACTUAL ’’PART’’ IN IT? That’s just it! With people nowadays, it’s so prominent on who is featuring who. I think who taught me this so well was when I went to see Stephanie Mills perform. Anita Baker did her backgrounds during the show. There was no pride, no ego. She was like, ‘‘I don’t want a part or I’m not featured’’. It wasn’t Anita Baker on backgrounds on the signs. Anita was like ‘‘I know all your songs, and I love and adore you.’’ People are so fixated on who’s featured on whose track to get the spotlight. I never worked like that. Like, if I told everyone that that’s me featuring Michael Jackson on ‘‘Butterflies’’, I don’t have to say that part. My bank account doesn’t have to say it. There are little things that people would brag about. I just do the work and that’s it. And that’s why my name is linked to so many hits, like Justin Timberlake’s ‘‘Cry Me A River’’, which won a Grammy. And that was me just getting to Philadelphia like, ‘‘Hey, Timberland, yeah, I’ll do backgrounds and arraignments, sure!’’, and then he won a Grammy the first time around. I should brag a little more but I’ll just do the work.

I’M PRAYING FOR A VACATION THIS YEAR. I USUALLY TAKE MY FAMILY TO DISNEY WORLD ONCE A YEAR.

–––AND JORDANS! BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW YOU LOVE YOUR SNEAKERS. YOUR INSTAGRAM IS CRAZY. HOW MANY SNEAKERS DO YOU OWN?

It really is. I had to reinstall my closets with more racks to make room for more shoes because they are just everywhere! It’s almost like I need to buy another house just for the shoes. Like my shoes can reside up the street. Shoe collecting started from the beginning of me playing basketball.

LETS GET INTO THE MUSIC NOW. YOU’VE BEEN IN THE GAME WELL OVER A DECADE BUT HAVE BEEN COMPARED TO THE NEXT ADELE OR THE BRITISH JILL SCOTT. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH COMPARISONS? Comparisons are just a way of people identifying how they feel about you. Both of those are extreme compliments.

YES! SO, DO YOU THINK THERE’S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BRITISH R&B AND AMERICAN R&B? Most defiantly! With British R&B, it’s unfiltered, yet trying to find a home for it. The audience is very, very small. It’s just a size difference. America is huge and has a huge following for the genre. In the UK, you have to downscale and downsize and only get to play to so many people. Which is really why I ventured out to this impulse move to Philadelphia where I didn’t know anyone, but I was like they make all the music that I want to make so I think I’m going to stay. CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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GOING BACK TO MICHAEL JACKSON, ONE OF THE TOP ARTISTS IN MUSIC HISTORY, HOW’D YOU GO ABOUT WORKING WITH THE KING OF POP ON ’’BUTTERFLIES’’? Well, Butterflies, which I wrote in 1997, was about a boy I had a crush on who worked at McDonald’s and scrubbed the floors. He was so fine to the point I would stand at the bus stop, not waiting for a bus because my house was right up the street, and I could walk there. I would just stand at the bus stop looking into the window like, “umm, umm, umm,” waiting for him to look back. Terrible! But it sparked that early love, that feeling, that teddy bear love. That ‘‘awe, I wanna be your valentine’’ love. That innocent love. That song stands from that moment and getting to Philadelphia, it was a part of the demo that was submitted to create the Floetry album. That album had ‘‘Say Yes’’, which was written for Ron Isley, and he didn’t take it. I had a cold when I recorded it and it was just me and Andre in the studio. It was one out of a couple songs that Nat [Stewart] wasn’t even in the studio for. Like, didn’t write it, wasn’t even there and her voice isn’t even on the song. It was one of those moments where I was like, ‘‘Thank you, Babyface, thank you, Ron Isley, for not taking this song!’’, because it marked what became Floetry’s biggest song. And with Butterflies, it was the same thing. When Michael heard that, he was like ‘‘I wanna work with those girls’’. John McClain, who was Michael business manager at the time, was the one who signed us to Dreamworks. He told us that Michael was just finishing his «Invisible» album and he wants to work with you. Who believes that? Like, I just landed in Philly. It was recorded in August, heard from him in September and I was in the studio with him by March the following year. It was like ‘‘Merry Christmas’’ to everyone for a long time, we’re good!

SO, WORKING WITH MICHAEL ON THAT TRACK AND ’’I WANT YOU TO STAY’’ FROM YOUR FIRST ALBUM ’’LATE NIGHTS AND EARLY MORNINGS,’’ DO YOU THINK THESE WOULD HAVE BEEN THE END OF YOUR SAGA YOU WOULD HAVE HAD WITH THIS MAN? We marked beginnings of so many collaborations that would have to happen. Just knowing that I can rest easy. He trusted me and that collaboration was just…I’m just thankful you can press play and hear it for yourself. I could just be bragging like ‘‘Yo, there was this one time when I was in the studio with Michael...’’, but you can buy it and

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actually hear it. So you know if Butterflies was our first song, what would have been our 10th?

SPEAKING COLLABORATIONS, I SPOKE WITH MISSY ELLIOTT AND HOPES OF A POSSIBLE COLLABORATION AND SHE TOTALLY DOWN FOR IT! We always seem to miss each other. It’s scheduling. Every time we bump into each other we’re like, «I’m serious, when are we going to get in the studio?» and she’ll be doing one thing and I’ll be doing another. But when it happens, it’s going to really happen! I don’t do collabs just to say I collabed. I never have.

RIGHT BECAUSE YOU DON’T DO MANY COLLABORATIONS. What’s so crazy, for my solo stuff, not really. For everything else, I’ve written so much that I have a million and five rap hooks and have sung on other people stuff. I don’t think that I wrote the hook for Melanie Fiona on Wale’s album even though I had ‘‘Diary’’ on that too, so, it’s just little collabs that I’ll do like that. We are in the generation where no one is reading the credits anymore. But like I’ve said, if I maintain this whole thing where I just stand behind the work, I’ll be good, my family will be good and I can get them to Disney world every year. We’ll be fine.

STILL TALKING COLLABORATIONS, YOU WERE FEATURED ON KANYE WEST’S LAST ALBUM ON THE SONG ’’THE ONE’’, WHERE YOU SORT OF RAPPED, WHICH IS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT FROM YOUR ORIGINAL ’’SONGSTRESS’’ SONGS. I don’t think it was different, not even close. That was everything I would say in a show. If everyone heard ‘‘I Hope She Cheats On You’’, it’s everything I would say. But when I worked with Kanye and other people, I embody who they are and who I am. I think that’s where people get their whole features misconstrued like, ‘‘I want my moment, I want the spotlight on me!’’ and it doesn’t become cohesive. I think with me, when I work with someone, I channel them like, ‘‘what would you say?» and that’s what Kanye would’ve said. So, when I wrote the hook «the storm is on the horizon, standing here alone. I got a pistol on my hip and it’s gonna be some sh*t, if you want it, bring it on.’’ With Kanye, how I felt about writing that type of hook wasn’t literally meaning I was talking about a gun. I was talking about everything that anybody could ever attack him for. When you’re under the limelight like that,

IT WAS LIKE, ‘‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’’ TO EVERYONE FOR A LONG TIME, WE’RE GOOD! CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE. AND I’M LIKE, ‘‘I’M THE ONE, I’M THAT ONE!’’ 74

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you’re open to so much scrutiny and I’m like, ‘‘you know what, world, if you want to treat me like this, then bring it’’. Cause I’m a soldier, and I’ll be here for you to curse me out or love me because that’s what the media does. That’s what people do. It’s what fans do. They love you or hate you ‘cause you say or do something that someone doesn’t agree with. You can’t please everyone. And I’m like, ‘‘I’m the one, I’m that one!’’

BIGGEST CELEBRITY YOU EVER MET?

YOUR SONG THAT’S RECENTLY GETTING MAINSTREAM ATTENTION WITH YOUR BRITISH BROTHER DALEY CALLED ’’ALONE TOGETHER’’, TELL ME HOW DID THAT COME ABOUT?

Ok, John Williams. Yea, we can get our Harry Potter and Star Wars on! Also Danny Osmond. Yea, them two.

It was just a collaboration that, once again, management reached out to management. Daley was in New York and we just met up. My good friend and producer Kani, who did ‘‘Lose Myself’’ and ‘‘Hope She Cheats’’ also produced this song. We went into the studio and he started the music and I wrote the song. Daley had a couple of notes and I was like «ok some of these could fit in this verse, let me put this together,» and I demoed the song and he sang his part and I was like ‘‘Yea, this came out very great’’. At the time, it was just him. I made him record the song. It wasn’t until a month or so later when they decided to make the song a duet and I was like, ‘‘sure!’’

Michael.

BIGGEST CELEBRITY YOU EVER WANT TO WORK WITH? Michael.

YOU’VE WORKED WITH HIM.

IN YOUR VIDEO FOR ’’FAR AWAY’’, YOU TOOK A STAND ON GAY RIGHTS. WHY IS THAT AN ISSUE THAT TOUCHES YOU SO MUCH THAT YOU FELT YOU SHOULD BROADCAST IT AS WELL AS TOUCHING IT AGAIN IN YOUR VIDEO FOR ’’F*CK AND GET IT OVER WITH’’?

I NEVER CONSIDERED MYSELF A BIG, ALMIGHTY ACTIVIST, BUT I DO KNOW THAT I HAVE A VOICE.

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN PEOPLE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT IT WAS A MALE ON THIS TRACK UNTIL THE DALEY WAS NAMED OR THEY CHECKED OUT THE VIDEO.

That’s what it was supposed to do. What I did in the studio was made sure he was prepared vocally to do it. I forced and said, ‘‘I’m going to bring this out of you’’ and the work is evidence.

GOING INTO YOU ’’PUSHING PEOPLE TO THEIR LIMIT”, WHO AND WHAT INSPIRES MARSHA AMBROSIUS? Just life. Just the opportunity to live again. I wake up every morning and say, ‘‘Thank you, Jesus, what am I going to do now?’’

Um, it’s something that people have a hard time accepting or dealing with, and I know it becomes a big thing to be a part of. I never considered myself a big, almighty activist, but I do know that I have a voice. I do know a core part of my fan base is. I have to talk to a lot of people, particularly with the ‘‘Far Away’’ video. That’s a situation that many have gone through. Why would I not show that? Why would I want to shy away from something that hasn’t been seen but is done every day?

RIGHT, BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN THAT THE MEANING TO THAT SONG WAS ABOUT HOW YOU LOST A CLOSE FRIEND TO YOU THAT WAS GAY. Well, that’s the beauty of art. You can interpret it into whatever. For me personally, I was going through a bad breakup at that time, but who wants to see that video again? I wanted to show something different. Even with Late Nights and Early Mornings, yea we want a sex video, we want a safe sex video and no one has ever addressed that part. I make a lot of music that people have a lot of sex too and tell me that, ‘‘Awe, my baby name is Marshalisha!’’

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MARSHALISHA? GOD BLESS THEM. Love it. And I’m not paying child support for it. {Shares laugh}. So, I’m not saying that wasn’t the moment where you’re supposed to have safe sex, I want you to make babies to my music. I want people that come to my show, single, looking for new love as I sing «With You», I want that moment to be safe. I make a habit of making moments happen.

WHAT MAKES YOU DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHER R&B ARTIST? Different? The difference is: I’m just me. I do make a habit of telling people that you can really do what you want, not what people tell you to do and not what people expect, but do what you want. And I think when you find that moment, people can tell the difference.

GOING OFF THAT, DO YOU THINK THAT IMAGE IS WHAT SELLS RECORDS? Everything sells records. Songs sell records. Something interesting you might find in someone may have nothing to do with what they look like. I might find out that someone may like the same cartoons as me and I’m like ‘‘Yo, you into Thundercats? I love you!’’ Nothing to do with what with they look like.

YOU MENTIONED IN A RECENT INTERVIEW THAT YOU CHOOSE TO RELEASE MIXTAPES TO YOUR FANS BECAUSE YOU FEEL AS THOUGH THE LISTENERS AREN’T GETTING THE MUSIC FAST ENOUGH. You don’t. You wait just as long as the artist has to. For all, you know my album could have been recorded a year ago, but since you’re on a long list of people who has release dates, set-ups, radio, press…everything has to be lined up. Sometimes you don’t care. Especially my fans who are like, ‘‘oh I don’t need a billboard to know, just tell me when your albums out and I’ll go get it.’’ I think the industry is slowly but surely shifting towards authenticity again. Like, that part is lost now, you just got to have a system, but fortunately, there are fans that would travel across the world just to see me and just want an album out or just want to hear something. I have so much music, why wouldn’t I put something out? Why wouldn’t I just play a slow jam by Marvin Gaye and sing over it and just say, ‘‘Listen to that?’’

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RIGHT, BECAUSE YOUR SEX-TAPES ARE FANTASTIC! I have so many more sex tapes that can’t be released.

SO YOU WERE LOOKING FOR NEW TALENT VIA TWITTER A WHILE AGO. CAN YOU GIVE THE READERS MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS? Yes. It’s on my BlazeTrack account. I’ve had a lot of entries thus far from artist, writers, and producers. BlazeTrack serves as a forum for artist, producers, and writers to get critiqued by reputable people. I consider myself a retile singer/songwriter/producer. But there’s more than just me, there’s plenty of artist and producers that you could get feedback from. But I was looking for the next back writers, the next best artist. It’s really difficult for people to get seen, I get a million and five YouTube links sent to me every day, I can’t look at them all. So BlazeTrack controls where if you’re serious, you sign up and you have to pay. Your work is protected that way, and I’m protected. That way, if I get a link and tell someone I just listened to their song, and then you sue me because you said I was inspired by your YouTube link, I’m covered. That can happen at any given moment. I don’t have the time for that! I don’t. So this somewhat controlled where you’ve paid for me to hear your submission. One, you know I’ve heard it, two, I’ve given you the feedback on how to change so we’ve already made a mutually agreed exchange. The interview then gets cut short because Marsha was due on stage in minutes. We got one last question out of our girl before we cut.

SORRY, CAN YOU GIVE US A SNEAK PEEK AT WHAT YOUR NEW ALBUM, ’’LOVER’S AND FRIENDS’’ WILL BE ABOUT? Yes, ‘‘Lovers and Friends.’’ You’ll get it soon!

THE DIFFERENCE IS: I’M JUST ME...I THINK WHEN YOU FIND THAT MOMENT, PEOPLE CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

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Penthouse life

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ABOUT THIS HOUSE MLS NUMBER: 2466681

LIST PRICE: 17.85 MILLION

CITY/STATE: The Sterling Mason New York, NY

FEATURES: Penthouse C 4,986 Sq. Ft Bedrooms: 4 Baths: 6 Grand Foyer French Doors

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LOVE this house?

LISTING AGENTS:

Bruce Ehrmann, J. Roger Erickson and Christopher Morales | DOUGLAS ELLIMAN

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Located in landmarked northwest historic district of TriBeCa, The Sterling Mason was designed by award-winning architect Morris Adjmi, whose design included the transformation of a 1905-built masonry loft warehouse and new construction “twin” into 32 luxury residences. CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

F lower Garden Care BACK TO BASICS: LOW MAINTENANCE

BY MELINDA MYERS

row a beautiful flower garden with minimal care by investing a bit of time at the start of the season to reduce ongoing care.

Always match flowers to the growing conditions and the care you are willing to provide. Low maintenance plants need minimal or no deadheading and staking. This means you’ll be growing good-looking plants with little effort on your part. And if the plants are suited to the growing conditions and resistant to common pests you’ll be doing less work managing insect and disease problems. Further reduce your workload by selecting self cleaning or free flowering annuals and perennials and those bred for long bloom and compact growth. Youíll enjoy more colorful flowers with less pruning and grooming.

it promotes slow steady growth that won’t interfere with flowering, is less susceptible to pests and is more drought tolerant. Properly space the plants, making sure they have sufficient room to reach their full size. Overcrowding means you will be thinning or dividing plants more often or battling disease problems instead of enjoying the full beauty the plants provide. Consider removing flowers on annuals at planting. This allows plants to focus energy on establishing roots instead of flowers. Can’t bear to do this? Then remove the flowers on every other plant or every other row. Then a week or two later remove the flowers on the remaining plants. You will soon be rewarded with full compact plants that will produce more flowers throughout the season.

MELINDA MYERS HAS MORE THAN 30 YEARS OF HORTICULTURE EXPERIENCE.

Ageratum, angelonia, calibrochoa and many of the newer petunia cultivars are just a few of the annuals that do not need regular deadheading for continual bloom. Include perennials like willow amsonia, bugbane, Solomon seal, turtlehead and sedum autumn joy for lower maintenance and big results.

Pinch back long and leggy transplants. Use a hard pinch to remove the tip and several inches of stem. Use your pruners or fingers to remove stems just above a set of leaves. The remaining plant will still look good while you wait for new leaves and stems to grow and produce new blooms.

Prepare the soil and provide proper fertilization before planting. Work several inches of compost or other organic matter into the top 8 to 12 inches of soil to improve drainage and water holding ability. Incorporate a low nitrogen organic fertilizer like Milorganite (milorganite.com) at the

Encourage branching on single stemmed plants with a soft pinch. Remove just the uppermost portion of the stem where the leaves and tip are starting to develop. Soon you will have a well branched plant and more blossoms.

same time. The slow release formulation provides needed nutrients throughout most if not all of the season. Plus,

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Improve plant posture and reduce the need for staking with early season pruning. Keep mums and asters compact by pinching them back to six inches throughout June to

encourage compact growth. Eliminate floppy growth and the need for staking on late bloomers like Boltonia, Autumn Joy sedum, Russian sage and Heliopsis Revive catmint and perennial salvia that flop open in the center with pruning. Cut flopping plants back halfway once or twice a season as needed. And don’t forget to mulch. Covering the soil surface with an inch or two of shredded leaves, evergreen needles/pine straw or other organic material will conserve moisture, suppress weeds and improve the soil as they decompose. Always water new plantings often enough to keep the top few inches of soil moist. Once established water thoroughly and only as needed. This encourages drought tolerant roots, so you’ll need to do less watering in the future. With proper planning, plant selection and soil preparation you can keep your ongoing care to a minimum. That means more time to relax and enjoy your beautiful garden. Gardening expert Melinda Myers has more than 30 years of horticulture experience and has written over 20 gardening books, including Small Space Gardening and the Midwest Gardener’s Handbook. She hosts The Great Courses How to Grow Anything: Food Gardening For Everyone DVD set and the nationally syndicated Melinda’s Garden Moment TV & radio segments. Myers is a columnist and contributing editor for Birds & Blooms magazine and spokesperson for Milorganite. Myers’ website is www.melindamyers.com.

ALWAYS WATER NEW PLANTINGS OFTEN ENOUGH TO KEEP THE TOP FEW INCHES OF SOIL MOIST.

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Simple SUMMER 100

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Chef RORY SCHEPISI

Chef KENNETH TEMPLE

RECIPES

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101

BY LISA ROBERTSON

HEALTH BENEFITS

of OLIVE OIL

Authors Mary Platis and Laura Bashar have published the book entitled “Cooking Techniques and Recipes With Olive Oil” to show many avid cooks how to use the healthier oils like olive oil in their recipes. Olive oil has many health benefits including but not limited to those listed below.

HEALTH BENEFITS OF OLIVE OIL: According to the Mayo Clinic • Olive oil can improve your blood sugar levels there by improving your diabetes • Olive oil can lower your total cholesterol level • Olive oil can help normalize blood clotting

“OUR GOAL IN WRITING THIS BOOK IS TOO TEACH PEOPLE NEW WAYS TO COOK WITH OLIVE OIL AND MASTER FUNDAMENTAL SKILLS.” Olive oils have been used in many culture for centuries as a healthy alternative to saturated fat intakes as noted in many other oils. Olive oils are loaded with polyunsaturated fats that improve many functions of the body. The book Cooking Techniques and Recipes with Olive Oil covers many new ways to use olive oil in your everyday cooking. Mary Platis has been featured in many publications such as The Olive Oil Times, Greek-American Magazine, and Meatless Mondays. She is an avid food writer and Culinary teacher. Her Co-author Laura Bashar has a popular blog entitled Family Spice and has been published in publications such as Yahoo Shine, Huffington Post, and PBS Parents. Take a look at the book and judge it for yourself. Helpful tips, and techniques to provide a healthier meal choice for you and your family. The book is currently selling for $26.95

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BY CHEF RORY SCHEPISI

SUMMER COOKING TIPS When it comes to natural preserving, herbs are great because there are so many ways to make fresh herbs last a long time in your refrigerator and freezer. Using fresh herbs compared to dried herbs is a much better way to go the flavor is 100 times better with fresh herbs, but many people say well «I’m not going to use all the herbs up, so I’ll just by dried herbs.» Stop right there. Below are a few simple techniques to always use fresh herbs. Fresh herbs freeze great and will last several months without losing any of their intensity. You can freeze them a few different ways all great and all simple.

1. Chop your herbs and place in a freezer ziplock bag removing all the air. Place in freezer. Now, these herbs will form more of a block, but when you are ready to use them you can just hit the bag against a hard surface and they will break up easy. You can also separate your chopped herbs into smaller portion sized baggies and freeze them that way.

2. Freezing the stems individually. Place herbs on a cookie sheet not touching each other and place in freezer. Once frozen take individual stems and put them in a ziplock. Once they are frozen they will not stick together, so you can put them in one bag.

ready to eat you can defrost them or have a great frozen treat. Remove the peel, place a skewer in them, and freeze and they make great healthy alternatives to ice pops.

KEEPING VEGGIES FRESH When it comes to keeping fresh veggies in your fridge for a number of days, the key is the moisture level of the vegetables.

1. Never put a medley of cut up different vegetables together in one container.

2. You can store sliced peppers like bell peppers for a least 5 days without problem

3. Sliced celery will stay good up to 10 days if stored in water

4. Diced or sliced onions will only last about 3 days before they start to get mushy

5. Peeled potatoes will not turn brown if stored in water 6. When it comes to lettuce, if you tear it with your hands instead of chopping it with a knife it will last a couple days longer.

3. If you want to make your fresh herbs last long in your refrigerator, you will have to wrap the bottom of the stems with wet paper towels and place in a ziplock bag removing all the air before sealing. This will keep them fresh for 10 to 14 days. Fruits are another great item to preserve in the freezer. Most fruits freeze great, just make sure that the fruit is ripe when your freeze it, otherwise you will end up with a bland fruit at eating time. So, buy your fruit in bulk when it is in season, freeze it and then you will have great tasting fruit year round. Berries are great to freeze and you can use them to decorate drinks; substitute ice cubes by using frozen berries, or you can even freeze the berries with a little water in ice cube trays to make fun, tasty ice cubes. Bananas are great too and will last a very long time if you freeze them with the peel on (don’t get scared when the peel turns black, the fruit inside will still stay fresh). Once CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

103

BY CHEF RORY SCHEPISI

BACKYARD GRILLED WHOLE RED SNAPPER CARIBBEAN CREOLE OIL

with a

PREPARING YOUR GRILL

COOL CHEF TRICK:

Prepare your grill by letting get to hottest temp it will go. You want your grill to be hot to help prevent your whole fish from sticking. Using old rags or a lot of paper towels lightly saturate them with vegetable oil or cheaper oil and wipe down grill grates while hot. use tongs to hold towels so you don’t burn yourself. Your grill grates will start to smoke a bit if you are doing this correctly. Your grill is now ready to cook on.

If you have some chopped herbs or even dried herbs, as soon as you turn your fish over sprinkle herbs onto the grill, not the fish, to give a light herb infused smokiness.

PREPARING YOUR FISH Take your cleaned fish and dry with paper towel. Using a sharp knife make three slits about 2 inches apart almost down to the backbone on both sides of fish. Using oil you made earlier, brush the fish with the infused oil. Just use the oil, do not disturb the onions, garlic, and peppers thatáwill be sitting at the bottom ofátheáoil. Brush the oil in the inside cavity of the fish as well. You can now place your herb sprigs in the inside cavity for extra flavor if you like. Season your fish with sea salt inside and out.

2 cleaned whole Snapper fish 1 cup olive oil 2 garlic gloves chopped 2 shallots, small dice 1 onion, small dice 1/4 red bell pepper, Julienne (very thinly sliced) 1/4 green bell pepper, Julienne (very thinly sliced) 1/2 Jalapeno Pepper, Julienne (very thinly sliced) *to give sauce extra spice Sea salt and fresh ground pepper to taste Fennel, thyme or rosemary sprigs (optional) Creole oil

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GRILLING YOUR FISH Place your whole fish on the grill with the tail toward the area of your grill with the lowest heat. We do this because the head area of your fish will take longer to grill. Let fish cook about 8 minutes then turn you fish over and cookáforáanother 8 to 10 minutes. Checking your fish at about 7 minutes to see how cooked it is. You will know your fish is done when the meat is opaque in color. Nice bright white. Remove from grill. Stir up your Creole oil and spoon onto fish starting at neck down to the tail. Serve with rice or fried plantains and this dish will bring you to the heart of the Caribbean.

1. In a small pot heat oil, add garlic, shallot, and onion. 2. Let lightly simmer until you can smell the garlic, shallots, and onions. 3. This should take no more than 5 minutes. 4. Add peppers. Remove oil from heat. 5. Season with salt and pepper, stirring oil a few times. 6. Let Creole oil come to room temp and set aside for later. **(This method of preparing and Grilling can be used for almost any whole fish)

BY MELANIE BRYANT

TOMATO SALAD

with CUCUMBERS and FETA

It never fails. With the warm weather, impromptu entertaining is about as likely as the rising mercury. It’s the impromptu get-togethers, the «Hey, why don’t you come over for cocktails?’ that make summer so memorable. There isn’t another season where living in the moment and just enjoying yourself is more appropriate; summer is meant to be spontaneous and simple. However, if you’re inviting a few friends over on the spur of the moment, or, if your being invited, you need something to serve or bring along. The great thing about summer food is that it really is simple and with the bounty of fresh fruits and vegetables readily available, preparing

4-5 large ripe tomatoes 1-2 handfuls colorful cherry tomatoes 1 seedless cucumber, peeled and coarsely chopped 6 ounces sheepís milk feta cheese 1/4 cup finely chopped Italian parsley, stems removed olive oil Champagne vinegar salt and pepper

something fresh and satisfying takes less time than heatproofing your hair and makeup. The other added bonus of summer dining is that we tend to prefer lighter dishes which lend themselves to less time in the kitchen. So, the next time you decide to have a few friends over for an impromptu get together and some well-deserved conversation, pick up a few simple ingredients and serve this fresh tomato, feta and cucumber salad along with a loaf of crusty French bread and a bowl of fresh strawberries.

1. Slice tomatoes into thick slices and cut the cherry tomatoes in half. Arrange tomatoes on a large platter and sprinkle with salt. Allow the tomatoes to sit at room temperature for 30 minutes. 2. Mix together chopped cucumbers and Italian parsley. Lightly dress with a few sprinkles of Champagne vinegar and a good drizzle of olive oil. 3. Spoon cucumber mixture on top of tomatoes. 4. Crumble feta cheese and place it on top of the cucumbers. 5. Generously top with fresh ground pepper. 6. Serve with thick slices of crusty bread and additional olive oil

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105

BY MELANIE BRYANT

UPDATING A SUMMER CLASSIC: BLT Is there a more quintessential sandwich of summer than the classic BLT? If so, then I am unaware of it. A classic BLT sandwich isnÆt only perfect for the bounty of summer tomatoes and lettuces, but it’s the perfect blank canvas to add some extraordinary touches, bringing the classic BLT up to epically memorable status. Next time you’re lost over what to serve for dinner, grab a package of bacon and along with the usual lettuce and tomato, pick up a few ingredients that can transform your sandwich into something special. 1. Play around with your bacon. These days, there are more kinds and varieties of bacon than ever before. Sure, thereÆs the regular bacon, but try out a few of the turkey bacons, or venture into your supermarket’s niche area and pick up a specialty bacon from a local smokehouse. 2. Build your sandwich with a different slice. Wheat bread and white bread both have their places in the sandwich hall of fame, but try something different. Grab a loaf of sourdough, or pick up a package of ciabattaùheck, why not try pita or lavash for a really unusual twist on a classic.

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3. Jack up your mayo. Instead of the same old spread, make the mayo extra specialùand extra flavorful by adding finely shredded basil or green onion, a pinch of garlic powder or even a few dashes of hot sauce. 4. Give your sandwich some extra oomph and deliciousness by adding a thick slice of aged cheddar cheese, or a fried egg, over easy so you have plenty of yolk to soak into your bread. 5. Mix up your greens. Instead of plain lettuce, grab a handful of mixed greens, baby spinach, or even a few fresh basil leaves or a handful of sprouts. 6. Think beyond the red. Grab a yellow or orange or even a green heirloom tomato to add another layer of color to your sandwich. By incorporating a few of these tricks into your next BLT, youÆll give a favorite summer sandwich a new kick and your tastebuds a new sensation. ItÆll make your sandwich anything but ordinary.

BY MELANIE BRYANT

GREEK SALAD SKEWERS This is the time of year when our schedules seem to magically become filled with all sorts of celebratory events from wedding showers to graduation parties. Often, these get-togethers are potluck affairs, which can send fear and trepidation through even the most prepared cooks. What to bring, how much to spend and how much time a dish requires can all be mitigating factors in deciding what to prepare for a crowd. Not to mention, you want to bring the sort of dish that not only attracts the masses, but that gets you rave reviews and requests for your recipe. 2 hot house cucumbers, washed; peel as if making a pinwheel so that some of the peel remains intact for contrast 1 basket of cherry tomatoes, rinsed and dried 1 jar of pitted Kalamata olives, drained 1 block feta cheese, cut into small squares, slightly smaller than the cucumber slices 1 package small wooden skewers

My recipe for Greek salad skewers can be put together fairly quickly. Mix up the dressing once you arrive at your destination, and put the dish together by arranging the skewers on a platter lined with lettuce or arugula and then drizzle them with the dressing. This dish will wow at any party, or whip it up for a girlĂs night get-together or a lazy afternoon at the pool or the beach.

1. Thread skewers with a slice of cucumber on the bottom, then a piece of feta cheese, then a tomato and ending with a pitted Kalamata olive. Continue until all skewers are assembled. 2. In a blender, mix 2 teaspoons of Dijon mustard together with one peeled garlic toe until blended. With blender running, slowly add 3/4 cup of olive oil until dressing emulsifies. 3. With blender still running, slowly add 1/3 cup of red wine vinegar and two tablespoons of lemon juice. 4. Add 2 teaspoons fresh chopped oregano; blend. 5. Pour into a jar and add 1/4 cup finely chopped parsley, 1 teaspoon salt and 1 teaspoon of black pepper; shake well. 6. Drizzle over skewers just before serving.

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107

BY MELANIE BRYANT

CHERRY CRUMBLE Have you ever wondered what the difference was between a cobbler, a crisp and a crumble? It often seems that these terms are used to refer to any baked fruit dessert with a topping, but there are very distinct differences between the three. A cobbler is cooked fruit topped with biscuits or batter and baked, while a crisp is cooked fruit that is topped with a mixture of oats, flour butter and nuts before baking. Finally, a crumble is a topping of butter, sugar, flour and spices that is piled onto fresh fruit before baking. Of the three, my favorite is the crumble. Crumbles are best served warm with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream, and while they arenÆt popular in the

2 pounds fresh cherries, pitted

summertime, my favorite crumble is made with fresh cherries, which are only available from mid-May until the end of June. I’m not sure if making a crumble in the summertime violates any culinary rule in the way that wearing white after Labor Day used to rock the fashion world, and even if it were a violation, I happily be a rule breaker. Cherry crumble is simply one of the best desserts and definitely should have a place on the list of Top Ten Desserts. Don’t believe me? Give this simple (well, after you pit the cherries) recipe a try you’ll be a convert.

1/2 cup sugar

1. Mix together cherries, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, lemon zest, 2 tablespoons of flour and vanilla extract.

1 teaspoon cinnamon

2. Spread fruit mixture into a rimmed baking dish.

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1 teaspoon lemon zest 2 tablespoons flour 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 1/2 cup flour

3. In a food processor, combine flour, brown sugar, butter and salt until mixture is crumbly. 4. Pour crumb mixture onto fruit mixture and spread evenly; gently press crumbs down onto the fruit.

3/4 cup brown sugar

5. Bake at 350 o until fruit is bubbly and topping is golden brown.

1 stick cold butter

6. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream.

1 teaspoon of salt

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BY MELANIE BRYANT

FLOURLESS CHOCOLATE CAKE

with RASPBERRIES

I should probably be rolling out the apple recipes and making my way into the traditional desserts that scream SUMMER, but I can’t help that I’m a woman who sometimes only hears the voice of chocolate calling. While SUMMER desserts rock in there own way, there are plenty of good, gooey, and warm chocolate desserts that can keep my heart singing all season long, but one of my favorite all time desserts is this recipe for a flourless chocolate cake. It’s easy, sophisticated, and is fabulous with fresh raspberries, a dollop of whipped cream and well, if you insist, a few shavings of really good dark chocolate.

3 squares bittersweet chocolate (3 ounces) 2 squares unsweetened chocolate (2 ounces) 1 stick butter 1 cup of granulated sugar 3 extra large eggs, at room temperature 1/2 cup Dutch process cocoa powder 1 tablespoon Madagascar vanilla extract 1 teaspoon salt

It’s the perfect dessert for a fall dinner party because you can make it ahead of time and forget about it until later, and ladies, if you have any leftovers, stash them in the fridge-when this cake is chilled, it’s just like eating fudge.

1. Preheat oven to 350∫. 2. Line the bottom of an 8 inch Springformô pan with waxed paper; butter the waxed paper and the sides of the pan. 3. Place the chocolate and butter in a glass bowl and microwave on high heat, in 1 minute intervals until the butter and chocolate are melted. 4. Stir in the sugar. 5. Add the eggs, one at a time, thoroughly mixing each one until fully incorporated. 6. Add the cocoa powder and salt. 7. Stir in the vanilla. 8. Pour into the prepared pan. 9. Bake until firm to the touchóabout 15-20 minutes. 10. Cool; remove sides of pan. 11. Wrap and refrigerate over night. 12. Serve slightly cold with fresh raspberries and whipping cream.

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109

BY CHEF KENNETH TEMPLE

NEW ORLEANS CRAB CAKES 2 sticks unsalted butter ¼ cup white onions, small diced ¼ cups celery, small diced ¼ cup green bell pepper, small diced 2 tablespoons green onions, sliced 1 garlic cloves, minced 1 lbs. claw crab meat, cleaned pinch dry thyme 2 cups panko 1 eggs, lightly beaten ½ teaspoon cayenne

with CREOLE MUSTARD SAUCE

SERVES: 12 APPETIZERS COOKING TIME: 1 HOUR PREHEAT OVEN TO 400 DEGREES Sauté onions, celery, bell pepper, garlic and thyme in butter until onions are cooked. Add crab meat, green onions, cayenne and worcestershire. Simmer for 2 minutes toss gently. Remove from heat and gently mix in cheese, bread crumbs, egg, savory seasoning. Spray mini cup cake pan with cooking spray and scoop crab mixture in and bake 350 degrees until golden brown about 10 minutes.

To taste: kosher salt and black pepper

Garnish with creole mustard sauce and micro greens.

dash worcestershire sauce

CREOLE MUSTARD SAUCE MAKES 2 CUPS

¼ cup romano, grated 2 oz. micro greens

CREOLE MUSTARD SAUCE

4 oz. creole mustard, weighed out 1 cup heavy cream ½ teaspoon kosher salt ¼ teaspoon white pepper

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In a bowl whisk all ingredients together. Sit aside.

and CORN EGGROLL

BY CHEF KENNETH TEMPLE

CRAB

4 tablespoon butter 1 small onion, chopped small 1 celery, chopped small 2 stalk corn, shucked and cut 1 garlic clove, minced 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon black pepper ½ teaspoon cayenne ¼ teaspoon white pepper ½ teaspoon dry thyme 2 green onions, sliced thin ½ cup mayo 1 lb. crab claw meat

SERVES: 4 TOTAL TIME: 25 MINUTES HEAT OIL TO 375 DEGREES Heat a butter in a skillet over medium heat, once hot add onion, celery and corn cook for 3 minutes. Add garlic, salt, black pepper, cayenne, white pepper and dry thyme; stir and cook for 1 minute. Remove from heat and add green onions. Pour into a bowl and let cool for a few minutes. Once cooled folded in mayo and crab meat until well incorporated. Take out won tons, add 1 egg and some water beat egg lightly, add 1 heaping tablespoon of crab and corn mix and fold in the insides then roll up and sit to the side. Repeat process until all egg rolls are rolled. Heat a pot of oil to 375 degrees and fry egg rolls 3-5 at a time depending on size of pot. Cook for 2 minutes, egg rolls should be golden brown.

1 lb. won ton wrappers 1 egg Small Bowl of Water ½ gallon oil

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ummer is in full swing with BBQs and backyard parties on our calendars. When it’s your turn to play hostess, we have some simple and low maintenance ways for you to have a standout gathering while still sticking to a budget. An outdoor pizza party with grilled pies topped with seasonal vegetables, exceptional cheese and accompanied by my Summer Sangria, is a great way to impress your guests with an unexpected outdoor family style meal. I’m a grilling gal and I can say that many of my friends and family are surprised that anything you can cook inside, you can cook on your grill for more flavor and originality. A grill makes the perfect pizza oven, and it is a much healthier alternative since you leave out the oils that normal oven pizzas use. The best part about having a pizza party is letting your guests create their own style of pizza. Set up a toppings station with a variety of cheeses, veges, meats and different sauce options. Not only will it be a fun project that sparks conversation, but your finicky eaters can design their own pie. The hardest part of this dish is making the dough, but you can always make the dough the night before or even the week before and freeze it for future parties. Here is a quick and easy chef’s tip: if you don’t have time to make your dough go to a local pizzeria and ask if you can buy their fresh dough balls. Most places will sell you dough for a very cheap price. Here are two of my favorite grilled pizzas: Smoked Gouda Pizza with BBQ Chicken and Grilled Ham, and Asparagus and Alfredo Pizza. Also, make sure to make the sangria first so you can sip on it while you’re grilling. Ready? Let’s grill it, girls!

AN OUTDOOR PIZZA PARTY IS A GREAT WAY TO IMPRESS YOUR GUESTS THIS SUMMER! CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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BY CHEF RORY SCHEPISI

with

GRILLED SMOKED GOUDA PIZZA BBQ CHICKEN, GRILLED RED ONIONS ARTICHOKE HEARTS

and

4 10 oz. dough balls ¼ cup olive oil 2 chicken breasts 1 large red onion (thinly sliced in full circles) 1 can artichoke hearts 1 cup BBQ sauce ½ cup marinara or tomato sauce (any sauce will work) 1 cup shredded smoked Gouda ½ cup shredded mozzarella Salt and pepper to taste Rough chopped cilantro for garnish

SERVES: 4 Heat the grill to about 350 F. Oil and season chicken breasts and cook for approximately seven minutes on each side or until the chicken breast is cooked all the way through. While your chicken is cooking, roll out your dough to an oval shape about a ½ inch thick. Oil both sides and season the dough with salt and pepper. Place your dough on the grill and cook for about four minutes on each side. You might think your dough is burning because the dough will start to have grill marks, but don’t worry. The charring is what gives this pizza an awesome flavor. While your dough is cooking, place your onion rings on the grill for just a few minutes, then set to the side. Once the dough is grilled on both sides, you are ready to add your toppings. You can either remove the pizza from the grill, or just add the toppings to your pizza on the grill. In a bowl mix BBQ and marinara sauces together. Before removing chicken, baste one time with your BBQ and marina sauce mixture. Take your BBQ mixture and top your crust with as much or as little as you like. Slice chicken breast into thin strips and place half of the chicken on the sauced dough. Add artichoke hearts and sprinkle with smoked Gouda and mozzarella cheeses then top with the remainder of chicken and grilled red onions. Place pizza on grill and close lid for five minutes or until cheese is melted. Top the pizza with chopped cilantro and serve.

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BY CHEF RORY SCHEPISI

GRILLED HAM, SUGARED ASPARAGUS ALFREDO PIZZA

and

4 10 oz. dough balls ¼ cup olive oil 1 ½ cup Alfredo sauce 12 slices of ham of choice 1 bundle asparagus 1 cup heavy cream ½ cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese 1 cup shredded mozzarella 1 teaspoon sea salt 1 tablespoon sugar Cajun seasoning to taste

SERVES: 4 Heat the grill to about 350 F. Roll out your dough to an oval shape about a ½ inch thick. Oil both sides and season the dough with salt and pepper. Place your dough on the grill and cook for about four minutes on each side. Cut bottoms of the asparagus off and roll in olive oil then season with sea salt and sugar. Place on grill and cook until asparagus starts to caramelize. Set aside. In a small sauce pan, add you heavy cream and let it come to a light simmer. Add your Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and simmer for five minutes or until sauce thickens. Add Cajun seasoning to taste. Once the dough is grilled on both sides, you’re ready to add your toppings. You can either remove the pizza from the grill or just add the toppings to your pizza on the grill. Place slices of ham on grill for a minute until it starts to crisp slightly. Top your dough with Alfredo sauce, grilled asparagus, grilled ham and a light layer of shredded mozzarella. Place pizza on grill and close lid for five minutes or until cheese is melted.

PIZZA DOUGH Proof yeast in the warm water. In a separate bowl, place flour, salt, sugar and oil. Make a well in the center that resembles the opening of a volcano and place the yeast and water in it. Mix thoroughly until the consistency is of an elastic ball. Leave the ball of dough in bowl and loosely cover with plastic wrap and let rise for 1 ½ hours. Split the dough into four pieces. Roll out one of the dough balls on a floured surface. Rub with olive oil and season with salt and pepper before placing on grill.

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BY CHEF RORY SCHEPISI

SUMMER SANGRIA This drink can be made the night before or the day of your get together 1 star fruit sliced thin into star shapes (if available) 1 C white grapes 2 small peaches sliced 1 small golden delicious apple 1 lime sliced in thin rounds 5 parts white wine (Pinot Grigio works great) 1 part Hennessy Cognac 2 parts Peach Schnapps 1 part triple sec In a pitcher, mix together all the liquid ingredients and stir. Add all of your fruit and let sit overnight or serve right away. Serve in big ice tea glasses over ice. Make sure you put some of the fruit into each glass.

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INSIDE FASHION & STYLE

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BEHIND THE SEAMS: SHATONIA AMEE BY KEKE SIMOT

llow me to properly introduce CURVY’s fashion director, Shatonia Amee to you. Shatonia is a celebrity wardrobe stylist who styles curves for the industry’s most coveted celebrities and events hailing from New York City. Shatonia Amee has quickly made a name for herself as one of the most sought after Celebrity Wardrobe Stylists. She has taken a meteoric rise within the Fashion industry by working behind the scenes with some of the industries top designers including Hermes, Saint Laurent, Valentino, Dior, Prada, Vera Wang, Michael Kors, Chanel, Oscar De La rentas, Donna Karen, and much more.

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Shatonia Amee has also worked with Supermodel Heidi Klum, Karlie Kloss, Jessica White, Joan Smalls, Coco Rocha, Selita Ebanks and Chanel Iman, just to name a few. Along with Shatonia’s list of beautiful supermodels and iconic designers, she has also dressed a number of celebrities for red carpets, TV appearances, award shows, and editorials. Before coming fashion director at CURVY, Shatonia was the Fashion Editor for Today’s Black Woman Magazine and Hype Hair Magazine for seven years and has contributed her expert styling and advice to various media outlets.

WHO IS YOUR STYLE INSPIRATION?

“

My style inspiration is Jelena Karleusa. She’s a Serbian pop star and her style is amazing. I feel she’s the epitome of my alter ego. My style inspirations, as far as designers, are vintage Valentino & Chanel and late 80’s Chanel.

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HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WORKING ON FASHION EVENTS THAT DO NOT INCLUDE CURVY WOMAN?

“

I feel that showcasing women without curves is unrealistic. Women have curves whether she’s plus size or a size 2-4. Curves are sexy and feminine. To showcasejust one body type that doesn’t represent the larger percentage of women is disappointing to see, and it doesn’t paint a pretty picture of what we view as beauty.

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FOR THE

FEARLESS FASHIONISTA HOW TO MIX PRINTS BY MARCIA JOHNSON

othing screams fashionista like going beyond basic matching outfits and accessories. Putting together interesting combinations not only showcases your style and creativity but gives you new outfit options, as well. Breathe new life into your wardrobe (or shop for new additions) by mixing prints. Most people think, Mixed prints? Oh no. I don’t want to look crazy. But I have compiled a few guidelines for us curvy fashionistas that dare to go there.

1. If you just want to dabble in print mixing without doing too much, follow these easy mixing tips for newbies: 2. Mix printed accessories instead of pieces of clothing. 3. Mix prints of the same color. 4. Use a solid jacket, pant, or shirt to break up the patterns 5. Mix the same print in a different scale 6. If you are a print mixing pro and you’re ready to jump in head first, take your style to another level with these mixes. 7. Mix different prints with different scales. For example, a large stripe with small florals or big polka dots and pinstripes. 8. Mix contrasting colors. Neutrals and neon can work well, when done right. 9. Pair graphic prints with animal prints for a wild look. 10. Pull your mixed and matched look together with solid accessories.

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WHETHER YOU ARE WEARING A COUPLE OF MISMATCHED BRACELETS OR ROCKING NEON GRAPHIC PRINTS, THE THING THAT’S ALWAYS NEEDED TO PULL OFF A MIX-AND-MATCHED IS CONFIDENCE.

One Love COLLECTION WWW.YOUTHEARYKHMER.COM

@YOUTHEARYKHMER

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HEEL CONDOMS A girlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s NEW best friend! BY KENOSHA CHASTANG

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ntroducing the best thing to happen to a women’s shoe closet since…well, ever! The Shoe Condom and panty collection! I ran across this little wonder on theheelcondoms. com and became so excited that I almost got misty eyed! Basically, theses little gems can transform any pair of heels, whether you are looking to bling them out, put on spikes, ribbons or add a little color! Just slip them on and your heels are protected from scuffs and looking fabulous! Heel condoms have been making a huge splash with Fashionistas worldwide since they came on the scene in October of 2010 appearing in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, InStyle, Glamour, and Cosmogirl! The old days of limited choices are now a thing of the past! Now, you can expand your shoe closet without breaking the bank! Heel Condoms and panty’s are available on their website and start out at about $20 and up.to help

GET THE

LOOK!

JUST LIKE MOM COLLECTION CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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INSIDE:

SWIM GUIDE

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POOL SIDE

PHOTOGRAPHER: KARYNE BOND MUAH: ISABELLA FORGET / STÃ&#x2030;PHANIE BARETTE

BIKINI TOP: BILLABONG / NECKLACE: BCBG

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SUIT: CALVIN KLEIN / SHOE: LE CHÃ&#x201A;TEAU / PAREO: PINK STITCH

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SUIT: MICHAEL KORS / BRACELET: URANIUM / RING: BCBG

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BIKINI TOP & BOTTOM: H&M / NECKLACE: FAB

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SUIT: LENNY NIEMEYER /BRACELET: URANIUM

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All Suited Up BY SHATONIA AMEE

SWIMSUITS FOR ALL GABIFRESH X WISH BIKINI $100

SWIMSUITS FOR ALL GABIFRESH X APHRODITE SWIMSUIT $98

SWIMSUITS FOR ALL ASHLEY GRAHAM X GUAPA BIKINI $88

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his season before we hit the beach, we are taking a few ideas from your curvy fashion rock stars. The ultra-curvy plus supermodel Ashley Graham and the Curvaceous model Gabi Gregg

R E C TA N G L E

APPLE

PEAR

INVERTED TRIANGLE

HOURGLASS

SWIMSUITS FOR ALL WINE CROSSOVER SWIMSUIT $79

SWIMWISUTS FOR ALL WINE CROSSOVER SWIMDRESS $82

SWIMWISUTS FOR ALL WINE V-NECK SWIMSUIT $76

AKA Gabi Fresh has partnered up with the revolutionary swimsuit brand Swimsuits For All to create their own collections. Out of the tons of fun, figured flattering, and colorful options here are our top 6 favorite styles that will work best for your body type. CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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IS YOUR BRA YOUR FRIEND OR YOUR ENEMY? BY SHATONIA AMEE

bra can be your best friend, or your worst enemy. If you’re one of the 80% of women who are wearing the wrong bra size we’d say it’s your enemy. Are you sick of straps pinching, bands bunching, and undesirable back fat? Then I have found the answers to your prayers. The bra experts at Brayola have come up with 6 full coverage bras that will help conquer your bra’s biggest problems by using a smart algorithm and crowdsourced data that provides you with the best bras for your body no matter what your cup size is. Additionally, their team of experts came up with these issues and the best fixes. The Founder of Brayola Orit Hashay has definitely made life just a little bit easier for us ladies who have to depend on help from our trusty girlfriend a.k.a our bra. Although Brayola doesn’t sell bras, they definitely point you in the right direction. I am a witness I tried the system out for myself and found the perfect brands that I wasn’t even aware of.

1. PROBLEM: BULGING BAND SOLUTION : Wacoal Ultimate Side Smoother Contour Bra

2. PROBLEM: GAPING SHIRT BUTTONS SOLUTION : Chantelle C Magnifique Minimizer Bra 3. PROBLEM: UNCOMFORTABLE UNDERWIRE SOLUTION : Bali Comfort Revolution Wirefree Bra 4. PROBLEM: TOO MUCH MIDDLE BOOB SOLUTION : Just My SIze Undercover Slimming Wirefree bra with Slenderu Panels

5. PROBLEM: PINCHING STRAPS SOLUTION : Glamorise Wonderwire Front Close Bra 6. PROBLEM: SAGGING CUPS SOLUTION : Goddess Keira Banded Satin Bra

IF YOU’RE ONE OF THE 80% OF WOMEN WHO ARE WEARING THE WRONG BRA SIZE WE’D SAY IT’S YOUR ENEMY. ARE YOU SICK OF STRAPS PINCHING, BANDS BUNCHING, AND UNDESIRABLE BACK FAT? Then I have found the answers to your prayers. 142

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BROOKLYN BLACK BRA $69 PANTY $30 BRAMOUR.COM

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Romance SUMMER

BY SHATONIA AMEE PHOTOGRAPHER: JEFF LICATA MUAH: DONNA FUMOSA

eat things up this Summer in your boudoir. Nothing spices up a relationship between you and your body like a beautiful lingerie set that hugs your curves while making you feel sexy and confident in your skin. The amazing designers of Bramour have created an affordable luxury lingerie line that exudes sophistication and class. Take some time out to pamper you with a Spa day, and then come home and slip into something soft and silky. Enjoy a summer romance with yourself and then if you feel up to it invite that special someone. CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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BROOKLYN BLUE BRA $69 PANTY $30 BRAMOUR.COM

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CHELSEA NUDE BRA $65 PANTY $60 BRAMOUR.COM

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MADISON BLACK BRA $60 PANTY $30 BRAMOUR.COM CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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CHELSEA NUDE BRA$65 PANTY $30 BRAMOUR.COM CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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Romance SUMMER

DE FLUER DE LIS BRACELET $400 CINERNY.COM

BY SHATONIA AMEE

GILDED CHANDERLIER EARRING $150 CINERNY.COM

CHINESE LAUNDRY ALYSSA $79.95 ZAPPOS.COM THE GILDED CHANDERLIER NECKLACE $600 CINERNY.COM

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CHARLES BY CHARLES DAVID MAXX $99 ZAPPOS.COM

THE GILDED OMEGA NECKLACE $300 CINERNY.COM

THE GIGI EARRING GILDED LINK BRACELET

$180 CINERNY.COM

$500 CINERNY.COM

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COLORS Summer the

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PHOTOGRAPHER: ADRIANA LIBINI

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Haute Headwear BY SHATONIA AMEE

CORE STRAW FLOPPY HAT $38.00 TOPSHOP.COM

CORE STRAW TAN FLOPPY HAT $38.00 TOPSHOP.COM

LAUREN RALPH LAUREN BRIGHT NATURAL SUN HAT $48 ZAPPOS.COM

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ou canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t step into the most anticipated season without wearing the biggest summer must have. Headwear is the go to accessory this season to complete any ensemble. For those cool summer

LEOPARD PRINT TURBAN $26.00 TOPSHOP.COM

ECHO DESIGN METALLIC FLOPPY HAT $48 ZAPPOS.COM

SAN DIEGO HAT COMPANY UBX2722 PINCHED CROWN FLOPPY SUN HAT $46 ZAPPOS.COM

nights a turban is a definite go to, for beach days or just a day of shopping, a huge floppy hat or fedora will make a big impression on onlookers. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t step out this season under dressed.

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Swim Shore to

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ELECTRIC CURRENT HIGH NECK HIPSTER WATER

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VICTORIA ONE PIECE

ALF_7900 - EDITADA.JPG

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HAVANA FLOUNCE VINTAGE

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ALF_7900 - EDITADA.JPG WANDERER WATER

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BY THE SEA TUNIC CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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Swim Shore to

BY SHATONIA AMEE

VINCE CAMUTO CATYNA VINCECAMUTO.COM VINCE CAMUTO-BINKS VINCECAMUTO.COM

VINCE CAMUTO TYSA TOTE VINCECAMUTO.COM

veryone loves a beach day until it comes down to planning a beach day youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re stuck with trying to figure out a game plan of how to budget out your time. It sucks to lose a whole beautiful summer day just doing one activity. Most of the time you go to the beach in your swim clothes, and then either need to run home or back to the hotel to change into clothes

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VINCE CAMUTO LETA VINCECAMUTO.COM

VINCE CAMUTO IVANTA VINCECAMUTO.COM

VINCE CAMUTO SARINA PEEP TOE MULE VINCECAMUTO.COM

that can transition from dinner to a night out with the girls. Well the fun creative designer over at Becca ETC Rebecca Virtue www.BeccaETCswim.com have created some super chic pieces that I think can solve your beach day woes. I have picked my favorite that will take you from swim to shore by just adding a cute heel, some funny ripped jeans, and a few accessories. Check out these cool ideas. All swim wear by Becca ETC By Rebecca Virtue. CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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#FLASHBACK SWIMWEAR PHOTOGRAPHER: UWE HOF MUAH: RAMONA GELLER SWIMWEAR: SUGARSHAPE

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SHADY BUSINESS BY SHATONIA AMEE

GOING YACHTING

1. Balenciaga BA0094 $395 Zappos.com 2. Barns Eye Liner Frame sunglasses $1,250 Farfetch.com

GOING YACHTING

3. Chloe Carlina $376 Zappos.com

BEACH BUNNY

4. Oversized Square glasses $11.98 Torrid.com 5. 70s frame sunglasses $14.90 Torrid.com 6. Gucci Eyewear GG arm cat eye sunglasses $479 Farfetch.com

7. Gucci Eyewear GG arm cat eye sunglasses $479 Farfetch.com SITTING POOLSIDE

10. Gucci Eyewear GG arm cat eye sunglasses $479 Farfetch.com 10. Michael Kors Ula MK2050 55mm $159 Zappos.com

10. MONIQUE Rimless Cateye Sunglasses $45.00 Topshop.com 11. Gucci Eyewear GG arm cat eye sunglasses $479 Farfetch.com

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ide from those blinding sunny rays in style. Whether youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a frugal fashionista or an only the best for this princess type of girl. We have hand-picked the perfect designer,

Beach Bunny

Sitting Poolside

and affordable frames for your many summer adventures. Whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a beach day with the girls, or working on your tan poolside, or even a day on the yacht weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got you covered.

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BEACH BEAUTY PHOTOGRAPHER - MATT SAYLES @MSAYLES MUAH: ALEXANDRA JOHNSON

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ONE PIECE - AMERICAN EAGLE AERIE

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BIKINIS - ATHLETA

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Decadent Fantasy PHOTOGRAPHER: ADRIANA LÃ&#x152;BINI

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SUMMER ON THE PIER PHOTOGRAPHER: LÈON VALJÈ H&M: FANIA MILLION FASHION: HAPPY SIZE

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Carrie Rice PRESENTS

CAR R IE â&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COU T URE S P RING AF FAIR RE L E ASE EXTRAVAG ANZA th

Thursday, May 11 7 : 3 0 P M - 1 1 :3 0 P M T I CK ET S $100

3 COU RSE M EA L W IT H OP EN B A R SONGTRES S O F T HE N I GHT : Q U EEN D I V A ( S O N J A ELI S E FR EEM A N ) FA S H IO N S HO W | B RA N D REL AUNCH | CE LE B RA TO RY 1 1 Y RS I N B US I NESS

ROM A VIE W C A T E R I N G

160- 05 C R O S S B A Y B LV D . , HO W AR D B E A C H , N Y 1 1 4 1 4 F O R T I C KE T S C A L L: 6 7 8 - 6 7 1 - 6 5 6 4 | EM A IL : IN FO@CA R R IES COU TU R E.CO M

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INSIDE BIRDS AND THE BEES

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POLYAMORY IS MORE THAN ONE RIGHT FOR YOU? BY NICOLE DEAN

‘‘I WAS JEALOUS FOR A LONG TIME...WE BOTH WERE.’’

ave you ever fallen so madly in love with someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them? Have you ever found another person in your life that you love almost just as much as the love of your life? Have you ever found yourself equally attracted to more than one person? Have you ever said to yourself, “Ugh, life would be so much easier if I could just have both of them?” Or, have you always found yourself easily making deep connections with multiple people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then maybe a polyamorous lifestyle is right for you!

WHAT IS POLYAMORY? By definition, polyamory literally translates to “many loves.” “Poly” is Greek for many/multiple and “amour” is Latin for love. Put them together and you’ve got polyamory, polyamorous, or “poly” for short. Polyamory is a lifestyle; just as living as a minimalist, for example, is a lifestyle. Living as a polyamorous person, you are allowing yourself to love and be committed to multiple people. Whether that means you have multiple boyfriends/girlfriends, a boyfriend and a girlfriend, a husband and a girlfriend, a wife and boyfriend, multiple girlfriends, multiple boyfriends, and even adding more partners to the list, you would be in a polyamorous relationship. Most people’s reaction to poly is, “Well, that’s just plain cheating! You can’t have both people. You must choose one, that’s how it works!” Legally, yes, you can only be married to one person (in the US), but what’s stopping you from having another person in your life besides your spouse? As long as you are in full, open communication with your partner(s), you are all on

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the same page with everything, and no one is getting hurt, polyamory is perfectly ok in my book!

WHAT POLYAMORY IS NOT The most frequently asked question that I get when I tell people that I am polyamorous is, “So, does that mean you just have sex with other people?” Typically, my response is, “No. You’re thinking of swinging.” Polyamory is often confused with swinging, polygamy and/or open relationships. Swinging is a lifestyle where either single or married people have sex with other single or married people, generally at swinger clubs. Swinging can also simply mean, a couple has sex with another couple but they switch partners. The point is that swinging is strictly about sex. Polyamorous relationships are about more than just sex. They’re about finding deep, emotional connections with other people. I know plenty of polyamorous people that don’t even have sex with their other partners and only conserve sex for their primary spouse/partner. Every poly relationship is different. Polygamy is the practice of being married to multiple spouses at once. Think of TLC’s reality television show, Sister Wives, where the husband is married to four different wives at once. Where this may seem to resemble polyamory, Polygamy is actually illegal in all 50 states of the United States – but it is legal in some countries. Polyamory and open relationships are quite similar, so I can see why people get them confused. In fact, being in an open relationship is almost exactly like being polyamorous, but there is a slight difference. Typically, if you and your partner are in an open relationship, it is ok to go out and fool around with and see other people. You can develop

strong feelings for those other people you are seeing, but you won’t typically “make things official” with them. That’s the big difference between an open relationship and a polyamorous relationship: Poly relationships are official relationships with multiple people. Think of an open relationship as the “dating” of poly. You’re just testing out the waters, you don’t know if it’s going to be a good fit for you, but it’s still something you want to try. Poly is amazing if it’s right for you!

THE PUZZLE PIECE THEORY The biggest part about polyamory is LOVE! The thing about love is that, just like our bodies, it comes in all shapes and sizes. You can love your parents and siblings just as much as your spouse, but it’s not the same kind of love, right? You don’t treat both loves the same? That’s the general concept of polyamory. You can have multiple loves in your life that all mean different things to you. My husband has come up with what we like to call The Puzzle Piece Theory. “The human soul is like a giant, incomplete puzzle. Every person that we come in contact with helps us discover who we are, thus helping us complete our puzzle. The people we love are the much

‘‘The human soul is like a giant, incomplete puzzle. Every person that we come in contact with helps us discover who we are, thus helping us complete our puzzle.’’

larger pieces to the puzzle.” This is a perfect depiction of what polyamory is about. Finding the missing puzzle pieces of your heart until your heart feels full and complete.

HOW DO YOU HANDLE THE JEALOUSY? I’m going to be 1000% honest: I was DEFINITELY jealous for a long, long time. Both my husband and I were. It took a lot of self-discovery to get to where we are now. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret…jealousy doesn’t control you – YOU control jealousy! I hardly ever get jealous anymore. Whenever I did become jealous, I sat back and thought about what I was feeling and why I was feeling that way. “What makes me so jealous of her? What makes her so special? What makes her better than me? What does she have that I don’t?” – the whole nine yards. The jealousy gets real, guys, I’m not going to lie to you… but I promise you that you can overcome it. I believe that there are multiple forms of jealousy. For me, personally, my jealousy was all about comparison. At first, I really was thinking that there were things wrong with me that were right with the other person. What I realized, over time, is that my husband wasn’t choosing her because she’s prettier than me, funnier than me, or skinnier than me. My husband loves me for exactly who I am, flaws and all – even if he doesn’t see my flaws! He chose that person because of the connection he had with them. Once you realize that your partner isn’t choosing someone else because they’re better than you, but simply because they enjoy the specific connection they have with them, you tend to get over your jealousy. What really helped the two of us overcome our jealousies was we told each other everything. I mean every-singlething, no matter how uncomfortable it was for us. When I CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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went out on a date, I came home, and the first thing I did was give my husband a big hug and kiss and told him that I loved him. The next thing that I did was tell him every detail about my date, whether silly or serious. He would practice the same method when he went on his dates. With such open communication, we were able to step out of our comfort zones and that made us not only grow individually but even closer together. Please keep in mind that how we handled our jealousy in our relationship may not work for you and your partner(s). This is just what worked for us. My husband has a saying, “Our similarities attract us to one another, our love binds us together, but our differences help us to grow stronger together.”

WHAT’S OUR STORY? My husband and I have a very interesting, but beautiful story. We met at a local drive-in movie theater one random summer evening, due to a mutual friend, when I was 11 and he was 12. We exchanged AIM screen names (because AOL Chat was “the cool thing” back then), went back to our families’ car and later became online friends. He had moved around a lot growing up and I stayed in my hometown. We talked online constantly but never met again in person. Flash-forward to my senior year in high school: we realized we lived twenty minutes away from each other and we decided to meet again. Not long after that, we started dating, and then soon after became official. Like any and all relationships, we were madly in love, but we were still not perfect. We were together for three years before my husband proposed. Everyone thought we were way too young to get married, but we were never really ones to care about what other people thought about us. One year into our engagement, we were still very much

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in love, but due to my being off at college and him staying home to work, things didn’t exactly go smoothly all the time. Also around that time, it seemed as though all of what we thought were great, solid relationships around us were starting to shrivel away. We saw so many of our loved ones go from madly in love to just not being able to deal with their love anymore. What scared us was, we could see similarities between each failed relationship that we watched crumble, in our own relationship. Instead of seeing that as a reason to break up, ourselves, we decided to work on our problems. We were still young and in love and we couldn’t justify just ending our relationship because we hit a few bumps in the road. We, instead, decided to look towards all of the great, happy, and love-filled relationships around us to see what was making them so happy. What we actually noticed was that the more non-traditional relationships were the more successful ones. After many discussions, we decided we’d give non-monogamy a try, so we started by being in an open relationship. After that went successfully for a little while, we decided to make the official decision to become polyamorous! Flash-forward to this year: my husband and I have been together, in total, for nine years: open/poly for six and non-monogamously married for three. I can honestly tell you that the past nine years of our life together have been wonderful and we have grown SO much because we decided to make the big step and try polyamory.

‘‘I THINK I WANT TO TRY POLY!’’ Awesome! I’m so happy to hear that! The BEST and number one piece of advice that I can give you is to be 110% open and honest with your partner(s). This is a journey that is going to be tough, but beautiful. You will learn a lot about yourself. Polyamory is definitely not meant for everyone but, if you are meant to be in this lifestyle and you feel in your heart that it is right for you, please know that you have a place in this world where you can practice this lifestyle. If you and your partner think the idea of polyamory is potentially a good one, test out the waters with an open relationship first and see how things go. If you and your partner both feel like you can mentally, emotionally and physically handle each other officially seeing another person, give polyamory a try. Go on group dates! Make this experience a fun one! It doesn’t have to feel scary!

If you are single and want to try being polyamorous, find someone who is ok with being in an open relationship, first. Try dating multiple people at once and once you find a couple of people you feel serious about, talk to both of them about the idea. If they don’t think it’s a good idea but you still want to try it, that’s ok, but you have a decision to make. If they are both up for the idea, awesome! You’re on the road to a polyamorous relationship!

ANY QUESTIONS? There are SO many things that I can talk to you guys about polyamory. This is just barely scratching the surface. If you want to continue the discussion or you want to ask me questions about polyamory, send me an email at ndean@curvyrevolution.com with the subject line: POLY LIFE.

‘‘OUR SIMILARITIES ATTRACT US TO ONE ANOTHER, OUR LOVE BINDS US TOGETHER, BUT OUR DIFFERENCES HELP US GROW STRONGER TOGETHER.’’

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HEALTH BENEFITS SURPRISING

Sex

e all know that everyone (well most everyone) enjoys having sex, and preferably on a regular basis. What some of us may not be aware of is the fact that there are certain benefits that go along with having as much sex as possible, which are actually beneficial to your health. Now, I know a lot of men will probably get very happy about this information and print out a copy to give to their mates. Go ahead, fellas; let her know how much she needs it and that you’re just trying to look out for her health. And ladies, if you really do have a headache, the act of sex can, in reality, relieve that pain and reduce some of the stress from your body. Give it a try. What have you got to lose but maybe a pound or two from burning off a few calories? According to some Doctors, the health benefits of sex extend well beyond the bedroom. It turns out that sex is good for you in ways you may never have even imagined. Besides the physical pleasure you receive

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BY VAL DAVIS

from it, here are 10 added bonuses to consider. For both women and men, alike.

1. SEX RELIEVES STRESS A big health benefit of sex is lower blood pressure and overall stress reduction, according to researchers from Scotland who reported their findings in the journal Biological Psychology. They studied 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity. Then the researchers subjected them to stressful situations – such as speaking in public and doing

Good sexual health may mean better physical health.

Another study published in the same journal found that frequent intercourse was associated with lower diastolic blood pressure in cohabiting participants. Yet, other research found a link between partners hugs and lower blood pressure in women.

2. SEX BOOSTS IMMUNITY Good sexual health may mean better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and

IT TURNS OUT SEX IS GOOD FOR YOU IN WAYS YOU MAY NEVER HAVE IMAGINED. verbal arithmetic – and noted their blood pressure response to stress. Those who had intercourse had better responses to stress than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained.

other infections. Scientists at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., took samples of saliva, which contain IgA, from 112 college students who reported the frequency of sex they had.

the frequency of sex was not associated with stroke in the 914 men they followed for 20 years. And the heart health benefits of sex don’t end there. The researchers also found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month.

5. SEX BOOSTS SELF-ESTEEM Those in the ‘‘frequent’’ group – once or twice a week – had higher levels of IgA than those in the other three groups – who reported being abstinent, having sex less than once a week, or having it very often – three or more times weekly.

3. SEX BURNS CALORIES Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 halfhour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Doubling up, you could drop that pound in 21 hour-long sessions. ‘‘Sex is a great mode of exercise,’’ says Patti Britton, Ph.D., a Los Angeles sexologist and president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists. ‘‘It takes work, from both a physical and psychological perspective, to do it well,’’ she says.

4. SEX IMPROVES CARDIOVASCULAR HEALTH While some older folks may worry that the efforts expended during sex could cause a stroke, that’s not so, according to researchers from England. In a study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, scientists found

Boosting self-esteem was one of 237 reasons people have sex, collected by University of Texas researchers and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. That finding makes sense to Gina Ogden, Ph.D., a sex therapist and marriage and family therapist in Cambridge, Mass., although she finds that those who already have self-esteem say they sometimes have sex to feel even better. «One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves,» she tells WebMD. ‘‘Great sex begins with self-esteem, and it raises it. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it.’’

6. SEX IMPROVES INTIMACY Having sex and orgasms increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, which helps us bond and build trust. Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh and the University of North Carolina evaluated 59 premenopausal women before and after warm contact with their husbands and partners ending with hugs. They found that the more contact, the higher the oxytocin levels. «Oxytocin allows us to feel the urge to nurture and to bond,» Britton says. Higher oxytocin has also been linked with a feeling of generosity.

BOOSTING SELFESTEEM WAS ONE OF 237 REASONS PEOPLE HAVE SEX. So, if you’re feeling suddenly more generous toward your partner than usual, credit the love hormone.

7. SEX REDUCES PAIN As the hormone oxytocin surges, endorphins increase, and pain declines. So, if your headache, arthritis pain, or PMS symptoms seem to improve after sex, you can thank those higher oxytocin levels. In a study published in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine, 48 volunteers who inhaled oxytocin vapor and then had their fingers pricked lowered their pain threshold by more than half.

8. SEX REDUCES PROSTATE CANCER RISK Frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life, Australian researchers reported

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in the British Journal of Urology International. When they followed men diagnosed with prostate cancer and those without, they found no association of prostate cancer with the number of sexual partners as the men reached their 30s, 40s, and 50s, but they found men who had five or more ejaculations weekly while in their 20s reduced their risk of getting prostate cancer later by a third. Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, found that frequent ejaculations, 21 or more a month, were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men, as well, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four to seven monthly.

9. SEX STRENGTHENS PELVIC FLOOR MUSCLES For women, doing a few pelvic floor muscle exercises, known as Kegels, during sex offers a couple of benefits. You will enjoy more pleasure, and you’ll also strengthen the area and help to minimize the risk of incontinence later in life. To do a basic Kegel exercise, tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor as if you’re trying to stop the flow of urine. Count to three, then release.

10. SEX HELPS YOU SLEEP BETTER The oxytocin released during orgasm also promotes sleep, according to research. Also, getting enough sleep has been linked with a host of other good things, such as maintaining a healthy weight and blood pressure. Something to think about: especially if you’ve been wondering why your guy can be active one minute and snoring the next. Forget about the Tylenol PM ladies and let’s have a really good night’s sleep. *wink*

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BACHELOR of the month BY KEKE SIMOT

MEET THIS MONTH’S BACHELOR: A DIVORCED FATHER OF THREE, DR. CRAIG BROWN LOCATION

Houston, Texas AGE

SIGN

Taurus

ENTREPRENEUR THREE DOCTORATES TRUE PASSION FOR LEARNING TEACHES IN HIS SPARE TIME EXTREMELY HANDSOME!

STATUS

Divorced

CHILDREN

2 sons: 19 and 20 1 daughter: 14 WHEN ASKED WHY SUCH A GREAT GUY LIKE HIMSELF IS SINGLE, HE SIMPLY SAID, ‘‘I JUST HAVEN’T HAD THE TIME’’.

r. Craig Brown can be called an overachiever of sorts. He is an accomplished Entrepreneur, Author, Mentor, and Technology Leader with over 28 years of overall experience ranging from technical developer to technology leader within data, innovation and emerging tech related technologies. Dr. Brown has a true passion for learning, earning six university degrees, including a Doctorate in Management Information Systems, a Doctorate in Computer Information Systems and a Doctorate in Computer Engineering. Dr. Brown also holds more than 25 technology technical certifications. He is also an avid business traveler. In his spare time, he teaches technology to middle and high school students. If he isn’t teaching, he loves to read and write. When asked why such a great guy like himself is single, he simply said, «I just haven’t had the time». That’s the understatement of the year! You can connect with Craig directly on twitter at @drdatascientist or LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/craigbrownphd. CURVY | MAY/JUNE 2017

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SEXTING: Cheating

Flirting?

or just innocent

BY VAL DAVIS

ust what is Sexting? According to Wikipedia, sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. The term was first popularized around 2005 and is a portmanteau of sex and texting, where the latter is meant in the wide sense of sending a text, possibly with images. Now that we’ve cleared up exactly what sexting is, let’s move on to the question at hand; when it comes to a monogamous relationship, can it be considered a form of cheating, or is it simply an act of flirting? It all may depend on your definition of cheating. Some consider the act of cheating to be a physical term. Meaning if there was never any type of physical interaction, then it would be an innocent act of flirting. On the other hand, many have debated that cheating is an emotional act. Meaning, if you share your most intimate feelings with someone, other than your spouse or mate,

then you are cheating. Is there such a thing as emotional cheating? Is sending intimate feelings or pictures of yourself to someone over the phone a violation of the trust that is shared between two individuals?

ARE THOSE PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE SEXTING IS CHEATING BEING OVERLY SENSITIVE? Once the person hits that send button, whatever was said or depicted is now open to anyone else who has a phone or internet connections, if the phone is shared, lost or stolen. It has no end and can never be erased no matter how many times the delete key is pressed. And you may not only be

hurting your relationship but also your reputation, as well. Images float around in Cyberspace for years upon years and may resurface at the most inopportune times. Many stars and celebrities have found this out the hard way. Are those people who believe sexting is cheating being overly sensitive? It depends on the person you ask. I posed the question to several people. Most of the men answered yes and most of the women answered no. So this brings us to the gender issue. Do more men feel that it is okay and that it is not cheating when a person is sexting? Are most women just overly sensitive? I can’t say. It would take a much more extensive research process in order to determine the validity of these statements. When in doubt, whether your sexting practices are cheating or a simple act of flirting, ask yourself the question, “Would I tell or show my spouse/ mate the content of this message?” If your answer is no, then maybe you should rethink the decision to hit that send button.

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Sexual Appetite MEANS GOOD HEALTH! BY ANDREA AMADOR

‘‘N

ot tonight, honey. I have a headache.” How many times have you used that very phrase, or some other variation on that theme, as a sneaky way of getting out of being intimate or having sex? Not tonight, honey! I’ll bet dollars to donuts we’ve all said that and can relate to not being in the mood, feeling pressured, and not being up to it. But what happens when, “Not tonight, honey” becomes your mantra? Energetically speaking, having a lack of desire for sex means that something is out of balance and your energy is not in alignment. In her book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensable Guide to Pleasure and Seduction, author and Ph.D., Barbara Keesling, says, “It is important that you start viewing your sexual appetite similarly to your physical appetite. Your sexual hunger is as natural as your physical hunger. Your sexual hunger is an innate part of whom you are as a human being.” Do you apologize for being hungry or having an appetite and wanting to eat to survive? Most likely not, because you recognize that you have to eat to live, and as we already know, food is a huge source of pleasure, but many times we feel inhibited by our sexual appetite.

who makes the same claim is considered a slut or a freak – especially if she’s married. Dr. Keesling says, “Can you die from not having Bad Girl sex? Not exactly, but every time you have sex and you know it isn’t as hot, as horny, as bad as you know it could be, I believe a little piece of you fades away. Your sexual hunger, vitality, and fulfillment are crucial contributors to your existing as a fully alive, fully functioning, and fully realized woman. So, I ask you again: What’s stopping you? What’s getting in your way? Why aren’t you comfortable being just a little bit more…bad?”

HOW MANY GUYS DO YOU KNOW WHO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING HORNY? PROBABLY NOT A SINGLE ONE...

How many guys do you know who apologize for being horny? Probably not a single one. In fact, a guy who says that he needs sex more often is often considered a ‘‘stud’’ by his buddies and admired and respected, yet, a woman

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COULD BEING MORE BAD ACTUALLY BE GOOD?

According to relationship expert, Marcia Martin, most women in the United States have grown up a little prudish, a little conservative, fearing their sexuality, judging women who like sex as bad girls. We cover ourselves up. We don’t talk about it. We pretend it doesn’t happen. In places like Europe, the Netherlands, and South America, girls are brought up to know that sex is a good thing and being sexy is part of being a woman. In these countries, the women recognize and revel in the knowledge that they’re sexy. They love to flirt, tease, laugh and play with men. They don’t try to hide the fact that they’re sexy or that they want something. If the idea of having more sex and being more sexual gets you just about as hot and bothered as a trip to the dentist, then I’ll encourage you to put on your detective hat and find out what makes you feel that way. Think about what

pops up for you when you think of enjoying more sex and being what Keesling calls a bad girl. What are you thinking about? Is it a junkie strung out on drugs desperate for her next fix, a trashy streetwalker, a woman on the prowl engaging in dangerous one night stands, a gal with no self control unable to say NO, having lots of indiscriminate sex, the image of the other woman who can’t get off unless she’s with some other woman’s man, or maybe you’re thinking that enjoying more sex means that you would have to seek validation outside of yourself and give away pieces of your self-esteem to your partner. Not so. If these are the images that you have when you think about having more sex and making it badder and juicier and hotter and better for you, either alone or with a partner, then it’s no wonder that the good girl in you has kept you at arm’s distance in fear, prohibiting you from getting to know your bad girl self. The street walker, junkie, sex addict and the husband stealing man-eater are most definitely not role models for women seeking to find greater self-acceptance and wanting to find a place on the path to lovin’ the skin they’re in. They are examples of women who act out emotional pain through having sex. These are examples of women who need professional help. In the same way as saying, ‘‘No’’ to others means saying, ‘‘Yes’’ to yourself, you have to love your body and feel good about yourself and your body in order to start moving towards feeling safe around being ‘‘bad.”

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IT TAKES A VILLAGE CURVY CREDITS

PAGE 4 PHOTOGRAPHER: KATERINA POLYAKOVA MUAH&STYLE: INNA PLANETNAYA T-SHIRT: RIVER ISLAND PANTS: LEBONDI PAGES 8 PHOTOGRAPHER: PHELSTON JONES PAGES 9 PHOTOGRAPHER: LIA BOOTHMAN MUAH: ALMA WHITE PAGES 23 LOVE YOUR CURVE9 PHOTOGRAPHER: ANNE DESIGNT MUAH: SHIRALEE LORRAINE PAGES 121 PHOTOGRAPHER: JOE NUNEZ MUAH: TAMMI MARKS MCDONALD PAGES 123 PHOTOGRAPHER: JOHN RICARD PAGE 144 STYLIST: BRIAN LABRECQUE PAGES 190 PHOTOGRAPHER: MATT SAYLES MUAH: ALEXANDRA JOHNSON BIKINIS: ATHLETA ONE PIECE: AMERICAN EAGLE AERIE BRACELET: VINTAGE PAGES 198 PHOTOGRAPHER: ADRIANA LÃ&#x152;BINI BEAUTY: PRISCILLA SATIM STYLING: RENATA POSKUS MODEL: EMANULLA ANDRADE CLOTHING: RIVI VESTIDOS PAGE 119, 211 PHOTOGRAPHER: KATERINA POLYAKOVA MUAH&STYLE: INNA PLANETNAYA

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ISSUE 03 May/June 2017

INSIDE:

Simple

Swim Guide

SUMMER RECIPES The Link Between HPV and Throat Cancer

Amazing Body Butters for Your Skin Summer Hair Tips from Billy Lowe

Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

Summer mer the

Sizzle issue

Keep Kitty Happy

Gardening

Low Maintenance Garden Care Tips & Tricks