19 Nov Trapped in Words

19 November 2023

TRAPPED IN WORDS

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4: 29, Recommend reading full text, 4:29 - 32)

On 1st January 2021, news broke out that a 16-year-old young lady in her 12th grade at Lunga Day Secondary School in Mwinlunga had committed suicide after her mother confronted her about stealing three new pants which belonged to her mother in the Northwestern part of Zambia. It was reported that after many investigations, the three pants were found in her mother’s bag.

According to the story, the writer narrated that the words used on this young lady were very hurtful, prompting her to commit suicide. It was possible that she had been going through mental abuse, which is another form of gender-based violence that is not given much attention as a form of abuse undergone by most of the youth, women and to some extent by men. The hurtful words could have been part of her daily life which made her feel trapped in them, and at this point, she could not take it anymore. It is easier to notice physical abuse than mental abuse, which many go unnoticed.

In today’s text, the writer warns against using corrupt words as they destroy but instead use words which build. Many people have failed to reach their God-given potential because of the words used against them. In anger, many people uttered words which they later regretted, but it was too late. Words are not easily reversed, but they leave a huge impact on the lives of those hearing them, be they negative or positive. Commonly, those with hurtful speech feel the way they speak is ok, in the pretence that they are being frank or honest even when they are just being rude. Instead, they think the receiver of the words should have been stronger to contain the words.

We should be mindful of our words when talking to our spouse, children, family, friends, church members and neighbours. In most instances, insults and hurtful words are used, especially in anger triggering a negative response from the victim. This is because people have different ways of understanding the words or expressions used, which may be interpreted differently and prompt someone to commit suicide or never progress in life. The words, unlike strokes, are placed in the hearts and minds when they are received, such that they are meditated upon each time.

Let us be kind-hearted to one another regardless of who they are, forgiving one another and building Godly relationships with everyone—remembering that each word carries life or death, success or failure depending on how one responds to it. Our aim is intentionally to build the lives of those around us rather than destroy them. Teach ourselves to be alert to mental abuse through the words used in our speech, words which may have killed many physically and in the way they respond in all sectors of life.

prayer

Our loving God, help us to tame our tongues so that we may be able to speak life and not death to others. Amen!

for further thought

What kind of words will you choose to use on others?

Chali Mfuta

The United Church of Zambia