25 february by CXpress

25 February 2015

Published every Wednesday by CXpress 2006 (Pty) Ltd - PO Box 1449, Plettenberg Bay 6600 - 6 Park Lane, Plettenberg Bay - Tel: 044 533 1004 - Fax: 044 533 0852 Email: editor@cxpress.co.za / advertising@cxpress.co.za Web page: www.cxpress.co.za Printed by Group Editors

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Photo: Earthchild Media

Stars spotted!

Family friend the killer? p3

Formosa wins e-prize!

Stuart Palmer of Tshisa Talent Agency, at right, welcomed the members of Freshlyground to Plett on February 21 when they rocked up in town to entertain guests at a private wedding checking out the local unicorns and rainbows are, standing from left, Shaggy Scheepers, Julio Sigauque, Josh Hawks, and Simon Attwell; seated are Peter Cohen, Kylarose Smith, and Zolani Mahola

MTB fans, take note... p12

10 000 FREE COPIES OF CXPRESS DISTRIBUTED ALONG THE GARDEN ROUTE EVERY WEDNESDAY

CXPRESS

News & Views

25 February 2015

Driving Miss Crazy

A fun day with ‘Madam Marbles’ JEEVES shares his adventures as Garden Route chauffeur extraordinaire...

Our 10 000 free copies are distributed every Wednesday to a multitude of outlets along the Garden Route, with emphasis on Knysna and Plett and drop-offs at *Sedgefield Tourism *Caltex StarMart in Wilderness *Lynn Schroeder, Build It and other select outlets in George *Storms River Village and Bridge in Tsitsikamma - phone 044 533 1004 (o/h) with distribution queries.

If you’ve missed out on a hard copy, read the electronic version online at www.cxpress.co.za

ELVIDERE Bubbles, I now call her - because when I arrived to collect her on Friday for her weekly shopping and hair-do jaunt, her Jacuzzi-pool looked like a bubble bath with half a metre-high foam floating on the surface... She always decants her pool chlorine into white tubs that she keeps in a fridge in the garage, along with other strange non-refrigerator type items like bottled herbs, curry ingredients - biryani mix, cumin, turmeric, coriander, garam masala - and medicines like antibiotics, washing powder, etc. “You see, they last much longer and keep their freshness,” she had once told me. Observing my quizzical stare at the foam, she advised the gardener had mixed up the washing powder tub with that of the pool chlorine! “We’ll have to stop at one of those plant-hire places and get a pump to drain the pool.” In the meantime, I suggested tongue-in-cheek, she could take advantage of the situation and dump any dirty washing into the pool. “What a good idea!” she said and, turning to the housekeeper: “Gladys, would you take down the curtains we were talking about, and the cushion covers in the lounge, and chuck them all in the pool?” A confused Gladys looked at her as if she was gaga. --On the way into town she asked whether I was doing anything on Sunday. She had invited a few friends around for a braai, as the weather forecast for the day was fantastic - sunny, no wind, 24 degrees - and she needed a

little help with the fire and cooking, and would I mind? From Jeeves the Driver, to Jamie the Oliver! “In addition to the usual stuff on the list, I’ve added what I’d like you to get for the braai, in particular, large prawns - those big Tiger ones, I think sized 16 or 20 per box.” Other items included charcoal and fire-lighters, various things for a mixed-salad, Portuguese rolls, lemons, and a medium to hot periperi sauce. “Oh, and also a loaf of rye bread for a smoked salmon starter,” she added. (‘Hope she’s got capers, lemon, black pepper and onion to top it off,’ I thought.) Later, back at her house and in parting conversation, I asked her whether she’d considered braaiing out - like at a picnic spot in the Knysna forest with tables and benches and fireplaces, or on the edge of the lagoon where Crabs Creek once stood. “Even Buffels, with its braai

spot on the grass lawns next to the sea, or at Goukamma?” “What a good idea! But isn’t it too much of a palaver?” she quizzed. “Not really. We pack chairs, tables, umbrellas - ask everyone to bring along their own plus extra cooler boxes, if you need, for the food and drink.” --Come Sunday 11 o’clock, I collected ‘Bubbles’; Gladys, the housekeeper, misunderstood this term and called her instead ‘Madam Marbles, at which I cracked up. We were to go earlier, it was decided, to the spot at Buffelsbaai in order to reserve a place before the masses arrived. The rest of our party would rock up later, around noon. The ground is so hard there, you must take a mallet or something to pitch a spike for the umbrella. We assembled camp: two folding tables, three umbrellas and a few chairs, table cloths, picnicbasket utensils, etc. The others started to arrive. Out with the snacks and dips, smoked salmon sandwiches, which she’d made with sliced cucumber and sour cream, on

BRAAIING AT BEAUTIFUL BUFFELS: The Tigers sizzling on the coals - if you’re going to munch on prawns you have to stuff yourself, no point in just nibbling at them - what a perfect day!

a bed of lettuce and onion rings - delicious. The weather was perfect, a gentle easterly sea breeze knocking the edge off the midday heat. They all sat around chatting and laughing, enjoying the surroundings and view of the coastline over the sea towards Brenton while I was busy with the fire and periperi marinated prawns. The ocean was a hive of activity - swimmers, surfers, and stand-up paddle-boarders. Around us, the lawn was a tapestry of coloured umbrellas, mini tents and gazebos, engulfing large and small groups of people, families, kids of all ages... and us! The prawns turned out great, de-veined and shelled and braaied on high heat, accompanied with a Greektype salad and Portuguese rolls, which I’d heated over the coals. We were eight, and the four boxes of prawns were devoured in ease, finger-licking style. I’ve come to the conclusion that if you’re going to munch on prawns then you have to stuff yourself, no point in just nibbling at them. For dessert, refreshing iced urcpurgm (melon) melted away the bite of the hot sauce. Interestingly, the Afrikaans name stems from the kitchen of Lady Smith - the Portuguese wife of Harri Smith - because she loved melon every morning for breakfast, and so the staff nicknamed it “Spanish bacon”! Everyone congratulated ‘Bubbles’ on the venue, agreeing that it was “the most fun day” they’d had so far this year, “to be repeated soon!” Peaceful, relaxing, out in the fresh air with friends, next to the ocean. “Why do you call her ‘Bubbles?’,” someone asked. I was about to explain but glanced at her first; she was staring at me with one eye firmly closed... ‘Till next time, keep left and fasten those seat belts. - Lggxgu

Entertainment Diary Rngvv"Igg|gt"Tcig" Hgdtwct{"49"("4: This event is all about partying for a purpose, giving locals a chance to let their hair down after season and hit the dance floor old-school style, all proceeds benefiting Plett NSRI. Visit www.geezerrage. co.za for info, or rock up on Friday at Earth Café, The Table or The Beach House for registration (3-6pm) and pre-drinks, and to collect your Geezer Goodie Bags and event access armbands.

Mp{upc"Egnvke"Hguvkxcn" Hgdtwct{"4: The first ever Knysna Celtic Festival, sponsored by Investec, kicks off in Main Road from 9:30-10:30am with 10 pipe bands and a massed band with 100+ pipers, drummers and highland dancers from all over SA. The fun then continues at Loerie Park from 11am to 3pm where the festivities will include a pipe, drumming and dancing competitions, and Knysna Highland Games powered by

CrossFit. There will also be kids’ entertainment, a Celtic Village and food court. Entry is R30 and kids pay R15. And from 5-9pm (R80pp), you can enjoy the amazing Blacksmith from Cape Town and Knysna & Districts Pipe Band. Mama Persello’s and Whitewashed Café will sell food, with plenty to drink at the Mitchell’s Celtic Pub. Buy tickets from all Sotheby’s branches in Knysna, Sedgefield and Plett, or Bosun’s Bar in George Rex Dr.

News & Views

25 February 2015

CXPRESS

Family reels at thought that ‘close friend’ Madala may have murdered little Zama The family of the 11-year-old Fraaisig Primary pupil wants life behind bars for his killer - YOLANDÉ STANDER reports

AMA Mhani from Khayalethu in Knysna was murdered just over a week ago, allegedly by a close family friend. His body was found in dense bushes off a footpath near Hunter’s Home last Monday after he disappeared three days earlier. He was found fully clothed, with a shoelace around his neck. A close family friend, 51-year-old Witness Kopi, was arrested in connection with the child’s death after showing police where Zama’s body was hidden. Zama’s aunt, Nomabhango Mhani, said after a poignant memorial service at St James Anglican Church in Hornlee last week that they were shocked after finding out that Kopi, who she said was known in the community as ‘Madala’ (old man), was allegedly linked to the boy’s murder. “We are still in shock; we cannot believe that he would do something like this. We knew him very well, we saw him as family,” the boy’s aunt said. She said Kopi was a gardener in the Hunter’s Home area and lived with Zama’s parents, Nombulelo Mhani and Wellington Msengane, in Khayalethu. “We never suspected anything, he would even bring Zama and my children toys from time to time when he visited us.”

She added that she hoped justice would prevail and that if Kopi was found guilty, he would be sentenced to life behind bars. In the meantime Zama’s classmates are receiving counselling from Western Cape Education Department counsellors who will be assisting them to come to terms with the tragedy. Several friends shared their sadness in letters to Zama. In one note a fellow Grade 5 pupil said that he was “very sad” that his friend was no longer with him. “I pretend that you are still my classmate, although I know you are in the hands of the Lord,” one letter read. Another classmate wrote that he was “sorry for what happened” to his friend. “You were a special boy sent from heaven, now heaven took you away from us,” it read. Department spokesman Jessica Shelver said they condemned the “tragic and senseless loss of such a young life”. “Our heartfelt condolences go to his family, friends and school community,” she said." Kopi has appeared in the Knysna Magistrate’s Court after his arrest. He waivered his right to formal bail application on Thursday and the matter was postponed until April 13 for further investigation by the George Family violence, Child protection and Sexual offences (FCS) unit. Ictfgp"Tqwvg"Ogfkc

LAST GOODBYE: Knysna Community Police Forum chair Cheryl Britz addresses a packed church, with pupils from Fraaisig Primary School, family, community members, councillors, and emergency services representatives paying their final respects to murdered school boy Zama Mhani at his memorial service last week Photo: Yolandé Stander

CXPRESS

News & Views

25 February 2015

Mayor Buso’s drunk driving case highlights blood backlogs

FTER being found guilty of driving under the influence of alcohol last week, Koukamma mayor Samuel Buso could face a hefty sentence come Friday, and could possibly be dismissed. Police spokesman Warrant Officer Gerda Swart said Buso was arrested in Humansdorp in September 2012 in connection with the offence. After several court appearances he was found guilty last Monday and sentencing was scheduled for February 27. Koukamma DA councillor

Francois Strydom said according to municipal law, if a person was sentenced to more than 12 months imprisonment, he or she could face immediate dismissal. “We are waiting until Friday to plan the way forward, but I will definitely call for a motion for his dismissal,” Strydom said. The case against Buso has also raised questions about delays in forensic test results. The case was delayed for more than two years, due to blood test results not being

available. “Often these cases are taken off the court roll because of the delays. I therefore took the matter up in Parliament recently,” National Council of Provinces (NCOP) representative for the Eastern Cape, Elza van Lingen, said. After Van Lingen handed in a parliamentary question about the issue last year, it came to light that between January and July alone last year, 1,140 cases of drunken driving were pending in the Eastern Cape as a result of the delays in fo-

rensic results. All these cases were provisionally withdrawn. The Ministry of Police’s response was that there was a delay with the analysis of the blood samples at the Western Cape Health Department’s Cape Town laboratory. This delay, the department said, was due to backlogs that accumulated over a few years. A sub-committee has been established to address the issues and make attempts to prioritise and fast-track the analysis of blood samples. Ictfgp"Tqwvg"Ogfkc

Knysna Tourism chair filled - for now

Sedgefield resident Kathy White was elected as Knysna Tourism Board interim chairperson on February 19, after previous chair Jo Melville resigned on February 16. ‘A longstanding member of the board, Kathy was unanimously elected and appointed as interim chair,’ said Knysna Tourism CEO Greg Vogt, here pictured alongside White. In terms of resolution passed by the board, vacancies that have arisen will be filled at a special general meeting of the board, called for March 2. Members nominated at the last AGM will be approached and, if willing to stand, the board will elect and appoint the members from these nominations in the prescribed manner. - Photo: Fran Kirsten

News & Views

25 February 2015

CXPRESS

Formosa now at the forefront of e-learning in South Africa

ESTERN Cape Special Needs director Berenice Daniels declared 2013 the year of promoting and rolling out of the revised Inclusive Education policies in our country. The ELSEN Unit and Resource Centre at Formosa Primary in Plett, through a locally-produced documentary and its efforts in sharing resources with other schools, was a forerunner in this regard. This year is marked by the Department of Basic Education as the year of e-learning policies being rolled out, and Formosa ELSEN has once again been selected to pioneer this pilot project. During March 2014, a team of education officials specialising in e-learning - headed up by the Special Needs and e-learning directorate in Cape Town, and steered by Eden and Central Karoo District e-learning chief Sammy Bowers - came to visit Formosa ELSEN. Their objective was to observe how the unit has for the

past few years been teaching with the use of modern technology like PCs, iPads and Galaxy Tablets as educational aids, thanks to iSchoolAfrica as well as Computers for Africa. During the same month, [QW magazine visited the school, and reported on the autistic boy who started speaking for the very first time in his life after being stimulated through modern technology at Formosa ELSEN. This attention can be accredited to the fact that the Formosa ELSEN Unit and Resource Centre team recognises that we live in a technological era, and started changing its way of teaching to keep up with international and modern-day trends. The Western Cape Education Department’s Centre for e-Innovation is now planning to start implementing its elearning pilot project in a few Cape Town schools and elsewhere in the province, to serve as pilot schools from as early as April 1.

Three cheers to a tremendous teacher!

Formosa ELSEN educator Leigh Dunn is pictured here with Erna Schnautz of iSchoolAfrica after winning the iPad programme as Southern Cape representative at the SA National e-learning and iPad Summit in Sandton this month. Says Leigh: ‘It was an international conference with delegates from as far as Nigeria, and out of more than 400 delegates I was honoured to win the top prize of an iPad educational programme that up to now has only been available in the USA. We had to write about the importance of e-learning in schools to qualify for the prize, and I was extremely happy to share this good news with the kids and staff at my school.’ It’s not the first time you top the field to wave Eden’s educational flag high, Leigh - Plettenberg Bay is proud of your continued edu-endeavours.

Firstly, the school principals will receive training, after which the pilot schools will be selected. These schools will receive training and resources like laptops, iPads and interactive whiteboards. Interactive media will then become the means for education specialists to have direct contact with their classrooms. Meanwhile, the Chief Directorate of the WCED Centre for e-Innovation is facilitating various basic ICT training courses for educators all over the province. iSchoolAfrica has been involved in this initiative since January 2013, when the Formosa ELSEN Unit and Resource Centre became the country’s very first iSchoolAfrica laboratory. Formosa’s nationally awarded educator, Leigh Dunn, was selected to represent the entire Southern Cape in the SA National e-learning and iPad Summit, held at The Forum Conference Centre in Sandton earlier this month. Only a selected number of educational stakeholders countrywide were invited and sponsored to attend the summit, which specifically focused on topics including: How to Create Learning Centres through Digital Technology; Differentiation Strategies within the Classroom setting though iPads; Extending the Physical with the Digital in Education; and The Utilisation of Apps in Education. This first-hand information will now be shared with education officials and stakeholders in the various provinces, so providing assistance to schools wishing to get on board with these life-important changes in education. Other recent e-learning projects that Formosa ELSEN has been involved in include communicating (an e-pen pal project) with the children of Rotherglen School in Canada, and Ter Bank Special Needs School in Belgium. Once again Formosa is at the forefront of educational

change, and we wish them all the best in their endeavour. On her recent visit to the centre, Education minister Debra Schäfer congratulated the school for its achievements in Special Needs education and passion for educational change. Visit www.elsensa.co.za for info on the Formosa ELSEN Unit and Resource Centre.

CXPRESS

News & Views

25 February 2015

One year on and they’re still polishing Plett Matt Covarr

T’S been a year since a group of energetic locals set out one Tuesday evening to give the streets of Plett the spruce-up it so desperately needed. Spurred on by the never-sitstill drive of Alison Bryant, the Clean Plett Campaign has become a formidable force, collecting litter, weeding verges and creating awareness in portraying the right image to visitors. Through a dedicated team, who offer one to two hours of their Tuesday evenings per week, the campaign has gone on to employ two committed helpers, who work on a full time basis and are funded by donations from the public. While there has been much debate as to why Bitou Municipality is not providing the necessary litter control, the campaign is in constant communication with council, and work with them as much as possible. One has to remember, we are an international tourist town and first impressions, combined with high expectations from visitors, make the need for this campaign so vital. Looking back over the past 12 months, the efforts of this group of volunteers has made a notable difference to the town’s outer image. A steady stream of praise and donations from the Plett public continue to flow in, but the challenges remain. The most notable problem remain public areas, many marketed and promoted by our town as key tourist attractions. These locations are continuously strewn with litter, human waste, broken bottles and bakkieloads of builders’ rubble, with the issue of vagrants creating further problems. The Piesang River, Signal Hill, the Timber Shed and

Old Rectory, Solon Street, The Harker Graves, the Van Plettenberg Beacon and the viewing deck in Hopwood Street are often in an appaling state, and are continually revisited to be cleaned up on Tuesday evenings. Sadly, this entire area forms the very nucleus of Plett’s early history. Looking at the road map for the year ahead, there’s ample to keep focussed on, with the primary goal of entering Plett into the Town of the Year contest, hosted annually by KykNET. Apart from general litter control, gardens are be-

ing planted and maintained on road verges by some of Plett’s garden services, businesses are making efforts to keep areas in front of their shops neat and tidy and, generally, awareness is far greater than it was 12 months ago. So let’s all do our bit and make a difference. It’s simple, if we keep the areas around us litter-free, the largest part of the problem is solved. Ideally, join the team outside The Grand at the bottom of Main Street at 5:15pm every Tuesday, armed with gloves, rubbish bags and a broom, and help put Plett’s image back where it should be.

TRASHING OUR HISTORY HUB: Members of the Clean Plett team, above, with Alison Bryant third from left, often return to the historic Hopwood Street and surrounds to remove vagrants’ bedding and bags of rubbish from The Timber Shed, or builders’ rubble dumped on Signal Hill, below

Business

25 February 2015

ADVERTORIAL

Confused about new South African immigration regulations? Read on to find out about expert help right on our doorstep

IZA Stroebel, founder of Migration Network in 2012 and previously founder of Immigration Southern Cape - the first private immigration company established in the Garden Route during 2003 - says she has been inundated with queries, some with great concern, since the new immigration regulations were promulgated in mid-2014. The Department of Home Affairs no longer provides immigration services, but has appointed VFS Global to accommodate immigration applications on its behalf. However, the latter may not advise/consult as was previously done by immigration officials at the Home Affairs offices. Foreigners are referred to the new online service. As

with many other countries with similar immigration rules, the online system is not user-friendly. Although some of the requirements have become more stringent, South Africa (and more specifically, the Garden Route), is still a very popular second-home destination for many foreign nationals. With 20 years of experience in immigration and citizenship matters both inside and outside of government departments, Liza is able to offer sound advice on South African immigration matters. Her office is situated in George and she can be contacted for consultations at liza@migrationnetwork. co.za or on 071 6777 000. Liza will be the guest speaker at a seminar to be

held on Wednesday March 4 at Redbourne Country Lodge in Plett. For more information, call Helen on 044 533 1589 or on 083 309 9759.

CITIZENSHIP SAVVY: Liza Stroebel will give a talk on March 4 at Redbourne Country Lodge in Plett

Art at Andrews & Co to benefit local causes Words & photo: Timothy Twidle

An exhibition of the paintings of Eithné Wulfsohn, who lived in Plettenberg Bay for many years until the end of her life in 2013, was displayed to acclaim at the offices of Andrews & Co Accountants and Auditors, located in Plett’s Main Street. The function on the evening of February 19 was attended by some 40 people. At left is Eithné’s son, Ben Wulfsohn, next to Jeremy Andrews, who initiated and is kindly hosting the exhibition at his business premises. Members of the public can view Eithné’s art from 11:30am to 1pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. A quarter of the proceeds of the exhibition will be donated to Plett Hospice and Plett Animal Welfare Society.

CXPRESS

Investor Focus

Malcolm Stewart – Investment manager at Michaelides Parker Wealth Knysna & Plett

Economics 2015 - hold on to your equities

HEN looking at the global picture, it is clear that the sudden and sharp drop in the oil price has materially affected international economics. In the USA, the effect of the anticipated rising interest rates has been reduced by the extra liquidity resulting from lower oil. In Euroland, the advent of “quantitative easing” together with the oil factor and the weaker Euro should really kick-start their economy. In the Eastern emerging markets, we see additional liquidity being created, which should result in better economic growth in that part of the world. So we have a very divergent global picture. The USA’s economic cycle certainly appears to have turned and a period of sustained growth should emerge. In Europe, the jury is still out on any type of recovery, while China will still show signs of a continued but gradual slowdown. Interest rates in the long bond market are still at alltime lows of ±0.3%, presenting an alarming picture. Equities, however, remain very interesting, with US companies benefiting from

sustained earnings growth, and Euroland shares hitting a sweet spot of excess liquidity and increased earnings potential. The biggest fear in Euroland is deflation, which plagued Japan for a decade and is still a threat in that country.

‘We can expect inflation to drop sharply to an unbelievable level of 3.5% by May’ Vjg"Uqwvj"Chtkecp"rkevwtg There are various economic effects coming to bear on our economy. Firstly, the dropping oil price is crucial, but just as important is the falling maize price, which is down by 40%. This impacts on most food prices as maize forms the base of many food industries, e.g. the poultry, pork and meat trades, to name but a few. Because of these two influences, we can expect inflation to drop sharply to an unbelievable level of 3.5% by May! This will, however, be a short-term drop and should rise to almost 6% by year

end. Lower inflation will allow the Reserve Bank to delay raising interest rates for at least another 10 months. The weaker Rand should stimulate exports, while the vastly reduced oil import bill will have a substantial impact on the trade deficit. We have government employee wage negotiations pending, which could be painful, but will ultimately put more money into the hands of the workers. Thus we have a cocktail of low interest rates, reduced petrol bills, increased wages, and possibly a slight rise in employment. This mix will be really good for our retailers, while exporters are sure to benefit from the weak Rand. The biggest negative needs only one word: ESKOM… The conclusion that can be drawn from the above picture is to hold on to your equities, be wary of long bonds, and treat your property investments with care. Ocneqno"jcu"dggp"kp"vjg" kpxguvogpv"kpfwuvt{"hqt"qxgt" 62"{gctu0"Jg"jcu"ytkvvgp" vjku"eqnwop"kp"EZRTGUU" hqt"vjg"ncuv"38"{gctu"cpf"ku" c"urgekcnkuv"kp"ocpcikpi" tgvktgf"ygcnvj0

CXPRESS

Interval

25 February 2015

My wife said she wanted to see ‘50 Shades of Grey’, so I took a photo of her hair…

In the courtroom...

farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company’s hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy. “Didn’t you say to the police at the scene of the accident: ‘I’m fine’?” asked the solicitor. Paddy responded: “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I’d just loaded my fav’rit cow, Bessie, into da… ” “I didn’t ask for any details,” the solicitor interrupted. “Just answer the question.

Did you not say, at the scene of the accident: ‘I’m fine!’?” Paddy said: “Well, I’d just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin’ down da road… ” The solicitor interrupted again and said: “Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.” By this time, the judge was fairly interested in Paddy’s

Getting into heaven

N exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him: “How do you expect to get into heaven?” The boy thought it over

answer and said to the solicitor: “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie.” Paddy thanked the judge and proceeded: “Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav’rit cow, into da trailer and was drivin’ her down da road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. “I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn’t want to move.

“However, I could hear old Bessie moanin’ and groanin’. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. “Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin’ and groanin’ too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. “Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said: ‘How are you feelin?’ “Now wot da heck would YOU say?”

I just got some milk out of the fridge

for a while and finally said: “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St Peter says: ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!’”

Ouch, my hernia!

surgeon was checking on a patient who had a hernia operation three days before. The doctor asked the man why he had not gotten out of bed. “I hurt,” the man said. “You don’t know how it feels.” “I know exactly how it

feels,” the surgeon replied. “I had the same procedure last month, and I was back at work two days later. There’s no difference between our operations.” “Oh yes there is,” said the patient. “You had a different surgeon.”

The dumbest kid in the world

young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer: “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a R50 note in one hand and two R5 coins in the other, then calls the boy over and asks: “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the R5 coins and leaves. “What did I tell you?” says

the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream shop. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the R5 coins instead of the R50 note?” The boy licks his cone and replies: “Because the day I take the R50 note, the game is over!”

And I swear I heard the wine say: “WTF?”

Social Scene Photo: Steve Neufeld

25 February 2015

Photo: Mandy McNicol

A FIRST - PLEASE NOT LAST! - FOR GUY & MART: International musical genius Guy Buttery, left, performed at Ouland Royale on Saturday February 14 as the midway mark on his national tour ‘The Gathering Fiction’. He was joined by local jazz pianist, Martin Wolfaardt - the first time these two have taken to the stage together, resulting in an absolute treat for their fans. ‘The synergy and interplay between these two master musicians took the audience on an unforgettable and unique musical journey. They received a standing ovation, and we look forward to seeing more Guy-and-Mart collaborations. It was a privilege to witness their debut performance as a duo,’ said event organiser Candice Ludick.

LOCAL LASS GAINS BIG CITY KNOWHOW: George reader Tashia Olivier sent this pic and wrote: ‘I am a talent scout and vocal coach based in George. One of my talents, Plettenberg Bay Secondary School student Jaydene Smit, recently gained experience on the sets of SABC2’s ‘7de Laan’ and ‘Binnelanders ‘. She enjoyed this opportunity very much and is an excellent example of the fact that hard work and talent can make your dreams come true. We are very proud of this Plett girl for representing the Garden Route so beautifully in the big city.’ Call Tashia on 083 598 3885 for info.

CXPRESS

People, places & events

DIÉ LIEFDE KOM LANGPAD: Lehandre Alouise en Henrico Marlin Chipps van Kareedouw het besluit om na sewe jaar langs die opsitkers uiteindelik die knoop deur te haak, en dit op Valenteinsdag by die mooie Tsitsikamma Cottages. Sê die stralende bruid: ‘Ons het op laerskool ontmoet, mekaar in 2008 gevind, en was vir twee jaar lank verloof.’ Wel, nou’s daai liefde amptelik - geluk! Bekende Plettenbergbaaise paartjie Robin en Debbie en hul dogters Shanelle, regs, en Nicqelle (nie op foto) was bruilofsgaste.

A BLOODY FAB AFFAIR: Plett friends Liesje Hirschberg and Mark Jackson, at right in the pic, decided to join their formidable party forces for a fabulous 40th Pulp Fiction theme party. So they transformed The Table into a diner reminiscent of the cult 90s flick, its pavement teeming with snazzy sports cars, and ensured everyone was armed with syringes filled with dark red secretrecipe stuff... With the feisty 40-year-olds are, from left, Jarret, Tina and Bridget.

GREAT VALUE WINES

CXPRESS

25 February 2015

Classifieds

On the Soapbox

25 February 2015

Letters to the Editor

Email: editor@cxpress.co.za - Fax: 044 533 0852 - PO Box 1449, Plett 6600

Show me the shaded pedestrian lane for REALLY good news The below comment was received in response to a news snippet in the latest ShowMe Plett update: ‘Some super news to start our newsletter today! To regulate large traffic volumes in and out of Plettenberg Bay, especially over the holiday seasons, the South African National Roads Agency (Sanral) will be constructing a traffic circle at the N2/Beacon Road intersection...’

IN NEED OF A CIRCLE: The exit/entrance to Plett opposite Plett Primary School should be much safer to negotiate once the proposed traffic circle has been constructed

The planned new traffic circle is good news for motorists. More urgent has been the need to cater for pedestrians using the N2 from the existing circle. They are confined to the space between the crash barrier and the storm drain, as no pathway is provided for them. If possible, a new paved pedestrian pathway should also provide shade. The new circle should also cater for the safety of cyclists who share the N2 corridor. Lqjp"Uvgiocpp."Rngvv

High school in Plett: Open letter from a Plett Grade 8 parent to Grade 7 parents You are at that particularly stressful stage in life where you have to make that crucial high school decision... Essentially the question is, do you want to keep and raise your child at home, and in beautiful Plett with all it has to offer? If so, please seriously consider Wittedrift High School for the following reasons: • Close to home • A happy school • Various sports offered • Many extra-curricular activities • Small classes (less than 20 learners on average per subject class) • Subject choices allowing entry

into any tertiary institution in South Africa • Outstanding matric results for many years (98.6% pass rate over 20 years, 83.3% university exemption) • Continue to live the wonderful Plett lifestyle (surfing, paddling, cycling, running, fishing, sailing, etc. etc. etc...). Over and above all this, you as a family can save about R500,000 in school fees, hostel fees, transport and travelling costs over the five senior school years, which you can then put towards tertiary education - which is where the

Dear Clicks management...

Thought you might be amused by this image that’s gone viral. Is this what they call an analgesic? Neem die pille en alles sal rectum?! Thabang Legoabe must be a Farmassistant...’ - Clicks Club Cardcarrying Member, Knysna

CXPRESS

main return on education expenditure lies. You will be bombarded with lots of options offering all sorts of seemingly important facts. But all we ask of you is to please at least visit the school, meet with the headmaster and make an informed decision based on fact, not fiction. Wittedrift offers your child all that is needed for good matric results to qualify for any degree offered in this country, as well as exposure to sports, culture, confidence and leadership programmes. Most importantly, you and your family will grow together through the teenage years, which are so important and so complex. These years go incredibly quickly so do endeavour to spend them with your children, in your home. PS: We now have our third son enrolled at Wittedrift. His two older brothers, both schooled at Wittedrift, are highly successful qualified professionals. Rjkn"("Jgcvjgt"Tc{oqpf." Rngvv

CXPRESS Facebook enquiry has desired effect In last week’s edition, we published a letter bemoaning the fact that dead seals remain on Robberg Beach for way too long, while the BI car park ablutions left much to be desired (turn to page 11 of the February 18 issue at www.cxpress. co.za - and although no response in this regard was received from Bitou Municipality, the note below proves the efficacy of airing a grievance of this nature on our Facebook page When my brother, Willie, returned to Robberg Beach early this morning, he saw a digger picking up the dead seals and removing them. This caused a huge smile that carried him all the way to the end of Robberg and back to the parking lot. And then... he looked towards the ablutions and what did he see? Yes, a lady cleaning them! The sand had all been swept up and the place sparkled. Unfortunately, he had to take a break from his daily walk as he has pulled a muscle in his calf, so now I can’t update you - unless I decide to do the walk myself. Thank you for your help. Lcpg{"Lcpg."xkc"Hcegdqqm *[qw‚tg" ygneqog." Lcpg{0" Ugg"yjcv"jcrrgpu"kh"tgcfgtu" cevwcnn{" rwv" rgp" vq" rcrgt" kpuvgcf" qh" lwuv" eqornckpkpi" ykvjqwv" vcmkpi" cevkqpA" Ygnn" fqpg" vq" {qw" /" cpf" kh" Yknnkg" jcf"vcmgp"c"rjqvq"qh"vjg"ncf{" engcpkpi" vjg" cdnwvkqpu." yg" yqwnf"jcxg"incfn{"rwdnkujgf" kv"kp"EZRTGUU0"Tgcfgtu"ctg" kpxkvgf" vq" ujctg" vjgkt" yqgu" qt" lq{u" qp" vjg" EZRTGUU" Hcegdqqm"rcig0"/"Gfu0+

Read CXPRESS online @ www.cxpress.co.za

CXPRESS

Sport & Adventure

25 February 2015

Calling all local MTB fans for a spectacle of global proportions

LIVE THROUGH THEM: You’ll feel as close to the action as possible without actually participating when spectating at the different hotspots during this weekend’s GR 300

ATCH world-class mountain bikers flaunting their talents right here in Knysna this weekend. This is an official invitation to readers to spectate and support some of the globe’s best bikers as they take on the challenge of the GR300 from February 27 to March 1. Join the crew in welcoming triple Cape Epic winner Stephan Sahm and Wolfgang Krenn (Germany), Catherine Williamson (UK) and top international rider cum local

hero Kevin Evans, teamed up with Max Knox, in action as they compete in the fifth edition of the GR300. See first-timers Ben Melt Swanepoel race for Team Squirt with team mate Charles Keey, Masters and multiple Epic stage leaders Shan Wilson and Adi Enthoven, plus Sasol ladies Yolandi de Villiers and Bianca Haw, as well as pioneering explorer Riaan Manser in action. Spectator points are as follows: Htkfc{"49vj Race start 7am Quay Four Thesen Island Harbour Town, 9am Harkerville (opposite Garden of Eden), 10:15 onwards Knoetzie Road (new records will be set). Ucvwtfc{"4:vj Race start 7am Quinta da Montana (Rheenendal), 7:15 Karatara Pass, 9:30 onwards Jubilee Creek, from 10:30 The Red Bridge. Uwpfc{"3uv Race start 7am Quay Four Thesen Island Harbour Town, Craft Attack winner of R10,000 for first individual rider at top of Phantom Pass, 10am top of Simola, 10:15 leaders expected at Quay Four, 1pm final prize-giving. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to experience these top-notch athletes first hand - email admin@gardenroute events.co.za for more info.

Car expos past and future

HE South Cape Old Car Club’s 19th George Old Car Show surpassed all expectations, Valentine’s Day weekend’s rain doing nothing to deter a bumper crowd from streaming through the PW Botha College gates from 7am on the Saturday until 1pm on the Sunday. The vast exhibition of vintage, classic and new vehicles - including bakkies, trucks, tractors and motorcycles covered several rugby fields off York Street, while the extensive model car exhibition filled numerous classrooms. Being Valentine’s Day, the show made much ado about red cars in particular. Classic cars in fiery red formed a ring of fire, and a whole room was dedicated to red model cars and fire trucks. Red, too, were the exquisite Honda Gold Wings of Sarel and Kevin van Niekerk from Mossel Bay, who displayed their motorcycles. The third House of Classic & Sports Cars auction was one of the highlights of the show. Altogether 37 prospective buyers registered to bid at the auction of 18 vehicles and two motorcycles. A 2008 Austin Healey Cooper Replica reached the highest fall of hammer bid at R160,000, followed by a 1969 Rolls Royce Silver Shadow at R147,000 and a 1927 1.5-ton Chevrolet Truck at R140,000. With that show a thing of the past, it is time to diarise the Garden Route Motor Club’s annual Knysna Motor Show, which will take place on Saturday May 9. The categories for vehicles on display will be similar to last year, covering classic sports cars, modern classic sport or super cars, vintage/ veteran collector cars and classic or racing motorcycles. E-mail GRMC chairman Peter Pretorius at peterp@ afrihost.co.za or call 082 321 4724 for registration information and visit www.grmc. co.za further details.

F R E S H