9 May 2018 by CXpress

9 May 2018

Published every Wednesday by CXpress 2006 (Pty) Ltd - PO Box 1449, Plettenberg Bay 6600 - 6 Park Lane, Plettenberg Bay - Tel: 044 533 1004 - Fax: 044 533 0852 Email: editor@cxpress.co.za / advertising@cxpress.co.za Web page: www.cxpress.co.za Printed by Group Editors

Photo: Corinne Fernley

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Bitou dog bylaws revisited p4

Stop the rot and rebuild! p7

Fordyce is addicted... p9

Calm amidst the chaos...

Plett resident Corinne Fernley shot this serene image of an African oystercatcher with edible bootie in its beak while last week’s spring tide breakers raged metres away. Find out more about this particular bird on page 7, and turn to page 3 to catch up on the politics that continues to mar productive local governance in the ‘Beautiful Bay’.

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NEWS & VIEWS

9 May 2018

May is International Better Hearing Month

Here’s how you could - and should - continue celebrating trauma to the blood vessels Maintaining balance the sounds of your life and leading to hearing loss. Even a mild hearing loss triples Audiologist MICHELLE ASH provides five excellent reasons to take your hearing health seriously ACK in 1927, the month of May was designated Better Hearing and Speech Month to raise awareness about causes and treatments of hearing loss and speech impediments. Then, in May 1986, US president Ronald Reagan issued a formal proclamation designating May as the official month to “heighten public awareness” about these afflictions. Ronald Reagan was one of many famous people with hearing loss. Another was Helen Keller, who said that of all her sensory deprivations, she most missed her ability to hear. She noted that while blindness kept her separate from things, hearing loss separated her from people and human connections. So read on for some important pointers on hearing health, which you may well want to act upon before the month is out. Cognitive decline A recent study from the University of Colorado investigated the link between hearing loss and cognitive decline, specifically dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Researchers found that in individuals with hearing loss, the brain’s ability to process sound is significantly compromised. This declined ability then results in a reduced ability to understand speech. Even with mild hearing loss, the brain’s hearing areas atrophy, or become weaker. What happens next is that the stronger areas of the brain, already necessary for higher-level thinking, step in to compensate for the weaker areas. When these stronger areas are otherwise occupied, they are unavailable to do their primary job.

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HE Bitou 10 Foundation (B10F) does very important work in local schools by improving teaching standards and creating extra learning opportunities for learners and teachers alike. They deserve your support for two events this coming week: Mother’s Day Lunch at Bosky Dell on Sunday May 13 A buffet lunch will be served at Bosky Dell Rose Garden - a feast of food, music, and flowers to celebrate love, family, and friendship for Mother’s Day, starting at12:30pm. Tickets at R180 pp (R50 per child under 12) are available from the Info Kiosk at The Market Square and at Village Book Shop. See the advert on page 7 for further details. Special Needs Education Talk at St Peters Anglican Church

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on Monday May 14 The B10F invites you to meet occupational therapist Deborah Robinson and social worker Gudbjörg Ingimundardóttir. They will talk about their research at a special needs school in Iceland, which strives to make the children feel happy and contented in their ‘special’ school. They will also talk about the importance of using the environment as a method of positive intervention. This event will interest parents, teachers, and professionals who work with kids with special needs. Diarise this date at St Peter’s Anglican Church from 3pm to 4:30pm on May 14. Tickets at R50 are available at the door. • Email info@bitou10foundation.co.za or call 044 533 6466 for more information.

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the risk of an accidental fall among the elderly. The hearing system is necessary to deliver cues required to walk safely. Whether falls result from too much brain capacity being used for hearing, thus not leaving enough energy for balance and walking safely, or whether hearing loss and a compromised vestibular system interferes with spatial awareness, the result is the same: a potentially-dangerous fall. Make a hearing test part of your annual medical check-up, or visit Advanced Hearing for a free screening - call 044 533 3326 (Plett/Knysna) or 044 343 1278 (Sedgefield) and visit advancedhearing.co.za to find out more.

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Hearing loss must be taken seriously, especially when it comes to dementia, because the brain begins to reorganise itself for the earliest stages of hearing loss. Getting ahead of the decline through early intervention with hearing aids could prevent long-term cognitive issues down the road. Emotional health Many individuals with untreated hearing loss experience feelings of embarrassment and frustration. A person who can’t hear well might stop socialising with friends or participating in activities that they used to enjoy. This social isolation often leads to feelings of loneliness and depression. Irritability and anger are common feelings, too, resulting from the inability to hear what others are saying. Fatigue is also common; it can be exhausting trying to keep up with conversation if you can’t hear well. The bottom line is that the numerous emotional and psychological issues associated with untreated hearing loss can lead to compromised emotional health. Heart conditions The hearing system and the cardiovascular system are inexorably linked. As such, hearing loss has been linked to an increased risk of conditions such as heart disease. The ear can actually be regarded as a window to the heart. A healthy cardiovascular system means that there is adequate blood flow to the vessels of the inner ears; conversely, a poorly functioning cardiovascular system reduces blood flow to the inner ear, causing

Personal safety It is difficult enough to hear approaching cars, the beeps of a truck in reverse, or shouts of pedestrians and cyclists amid the sounds of urban life. Hearing loss increases your risk of injury should you not audially perceive warning signals around you. Unfortunately, at home the high pitch of many altering sounds, including your phone, makes them inaudible to those with hearing loss. In addition, someone with untreated hearing loss might inadvertently compose the safety of someone else if they are unable to hear a cry for help.

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NEWS & VIEWS

9 May 2018

CXPRESS

Bitou woes deepen as DA’s declaratory order ‘withdrawn’ On the eve of Bitou’s political drama heading to the Western Cape High Court, the ANC in Bitou announced that the application for a declaratory order, to declare illegal an earlier special council meeting during which a successful vote of no confidence was brought against two DA councillors, had been withdrawn - YOLANDÉ STANDER reports HE alleged withdrawal of the order was just one shot in a salvo of political issues in the coastal holiday town over the past month. Bitou has been plagued by several challenges in the political arena including criminal complaints laid with the Hawks against, among others, mayor Peter Lobese. The DA laid these complaints over alleged illegal “syphoning of money” from municipal accounts after Lobese, of the Active United Front (AUF), voted against his coalition with the DA, which now seems to have come to an end. Lobese sided with the ANC on several decisions including voting against extending former acting municipal manager Johnny Douglas’s contract and to stop disciplinary proceedings against municipal manager Thabo Ndlovu after he was suspended following findings in a forensic investigation into maladministration. According to the DA, the forensic investigation indicated “serious illegal actions, wasteful and fruitless expenditure, corruption and

fraud” allegedly by Ndlovu, senior heads of departments, and officials in the mayor’s office. Another shot was fired when Lobese voted with the ANC again in a vote of no confidence in speaker Annelise Olivier and deputy mayor Jessica Kamkam during a special council meeting. They were replaced with ANC councillors Euan Wildeman and Sandiso Gcabayi. The DA claimed that the special council meeting was illegally convened on several procedural grounds and that subsequent decisions, including the vote of no confidence, were therefore null and void. They subsequently applied for a declaratory order to declare the meeting illegal and the matter was set to be heard in the Western Cape High Court on Wednesday. ANC chief whip in Bitou Phaki Mbali however announced in a statement late on Monday night that the DA withdrew “its frivolous application to declare the meeting of April 24 illegal”. He added that the DA

would pay the legal costs on this application. “The ANC viewed this application as a waste of court time. The application was a politically-driven application which stood no chance of success in law as the DA was using the court as a desperate move to bring selfcreated political instability and as cover-up to their loss of political power in Bitou,” Mbali said. He added that the party believed the matter was now a matter of the past and that political certainty would allow the ANC government to focus on service delivery, champion good governance, and bring about stability in the administration. “The ANC is concerned that the DA is leaving behind a weak administration due to interference in administration. The ANC has in a week in government discovered that the DA government has failed to deliver service to the people. “The DA has recorded underspending on capital budget during the third quarter; the municipality has not reached its 40% target.

News Briefs

WITHOUT A TRACE: On May 6 it was announced that the search for missing Norwegian student Marie Ostbo, 21, had been suspended after a massive search operation that kicked into action after her April 18 disappearance from the beach in Sedgefield [turn to page 4 of the April 25 edition at www.cxpress.co.za for the original report.]

• Knysna police is investigating a case of culpable homicide following the death of two pedestrians on the N2 near Brackenhill on April 30 at about 1:30pm. “It is alleged that a 37-yearold man and his four-yearold daughter were crossing the road when they were hit by a vehicle travelling towards Bitou,” says Knysna police spokesman sergeant Chris Spies. “The girl sustained multiple injuries and died on the scene, while her father sustained serious injuries. He

was transported to Knysna Provincial Hospital by ambulance, where he died later that afternoon. A 24-yearold suspect was arrested in connection with this incident and released later. Additional charges of reckless and negligent driving, and driving a vehicle while under the influence of liquor, were added to this case.” The deceased were identified as Claude and Shureecka Plaatjies. The investigation continues and anyone with information should call 044 302 6678.

[See the report on page 4.] “The municipality under DA government lost R8million of a municipal infrastructure grant back to the National Treasury due to the lack of spending. This raises

questions about the seriousness of the DA interest in the delivery of service.” Mbali further said the ANC and AUF had since held urgent meetings with senior officials to turn

around the situation to improve delivery, and would monitor progress. No comment was received from the DA in Bitou before going to print. Garden Route Media

CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

9 May 2018

DA provides feedback at public meeting in Plett

Read CXPRESS online @ www.cxpress.co.za

Timothy Twidle

ITOU Ward 2 councillor Dave Swart held a municipal feedback meeting on behalf of the Democratic Alliance (DA) at Piesang Valley Community Hall on the evening of May 3. Swart gave an overview of the financial position of Bitou Municipality as at March 31 - three quarters of the way through the current financial year. At that date, Bitou Municipality recorded assets of R264-million and liabilities of R134-million. At present, the municipality has an overdraft of R884,000, as the Public Safety Division has not processed funds collected from traffic services, vehicle registrations and driversâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; licences. The municipality has debtors of R151.6-million, principally as a result of households not paying for services; 201 accounts have

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been handed over to attorneys for collection. On the subject of capital expenditure, Swart let it be known that only R44.6million, some 34.6% of the authorised amount, had been expended to date and that a further R84.7-million needed to be spent in what remains of the financial year. Bitouâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Engineering department had given an assurance that the outstanding amount of R84.7-million would be spent prior to the end of the financial year. Regarding service delivery, it was stated that refuse removal was at present taking an inordinately long time to complete day upon day, with many of the refuse collection vehicles out of order. To assist with resolution of the aforementioned problems and other matters, Swart reported that an â&#x20AC;&#x153;assessment teamâ&#x20AC;? of persons

well versed and knowledgeable in the effective administration of municipal governance was to have spent time at Bitou Municipality, but this had been voted down by ANC and Active United Front (AUF) councillors. On the subject of CemAir, Swart said everyone was aware that flights to and from Plett had resumed, following the abrupt termination by Bitou Municipality of permission for the carrier to use the airport facilities on March 14, but that no formal agreement had yet been drawn up and signed for CemAir to continue operating for a specified and agreed period in future. Swart declared that the DA had no issue with going into opposition and would continue to maintain a thorough, vigorous and careful oversight of all matters pertaining to the municipal governance of Bitou.

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LETT Animal Welfare Service (PAWS) is concerned to note that many people are still ignoring the new regulations for dogs on our beaches. Dr Mark Brown and the Natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Valley Trust (NVT) #SharetheShores initiative put a lot of work into devising solutions for the problems being encountered on various beaches, i.e. dogs disturbing bird breeding areas and also being a nuisance on popular bathing beaches. NVT found a win-win solution for everyone when they proposed zoning of Plettâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s many beaches. This new zoning allows for dog-free beaches to protect wildlife as well as the Blue-flag status of some beaches; dogs on leashes on others, and green zones for owners who love letting their dogs run free. After wide consultation, NVTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s proposals were approved by Bitou Municipality and very soon signs appeared at beach entrances from Natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Valley to the end of Robberg Beach. It is, however, very disappointing to note that some people are still walking dogs

leash-free on the sensitive Lookout Beach where NVT has been trying to protect the breeding grounds of White-fronted plovers, African black oystercatchers, and other species. While NVT is aware that changes like these take time and may be inconvenient to some beachgoers, this is still the best strategy to accommodate everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s needs, while respecting the natural environment we all enjoy. Said Mark: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Although there are still people walking dogs illegally on Lookout, there has been a marked decrease of dogs in this new red zone. We are grateful to those who are complying with the new regulations.â&#x20AC;? NVT volunteers have observed good behaviour in the green zones, with owners and dogs enjoying themselves in a legal and responsible manner. Analysis of the breeding success rate of the vulnerable White-fronted plover has shown an increase at both Lookout (from 12.7% to 14.3%) and Natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Valley (from 15.2% to 30.5%), from the previous season.

The improvement on Lookout Beach may not be dramatic, but any increase in breeding success for this species is a good one. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are not saying that dogs and people are the only threats to shore-nesting birds, but that they are the factors affecting breeding of these birds over which we have some control,â&#x20AC;? explained Mark. NVT intends to continue its work to ensure that the next breeding season shows even greater improvement. They will only be able to achieve this through the cooperation of all beachgoers, who are encouraged to #SharetheShores responsibly. PAWS chair Di Butlin voiced the support of her board, â&#x20AC;&#x153;as these regulations are designed to accommodate everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s needsâ&#x20AC;?. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If our dog owners do not comply, we may have to face stricter regulations. We appeal to everyone to respect our bylaws so that we can all continue to enjoy our wonderful beaches.â&#x20AC;? Visit www.cxpress.co.za for detailed regulations for dogs on Plettâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beaches.

ROOM FOR ALL: Dogs playing on Sanctuary Beach, at left, and a vulnerable White-fronted plover chick enjoying the protection of Lookoutâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Red zone, prohibiting dog entirely, at right

NEWS & VIEWS

9 May 2018

CXPRESS

Qolweni residents call for return of their cultural village Words & photos: Khaya Mbesi

project initiated as a community development drive more than a decade ago to uplift the people of Qolweni has allegedly been hijacked, and those who founded it have been side-lined. Once the centre of community activity, Qolweni Cultural Village has since collapsed and is used for criminal activities. Residents, who blame members of a local family in this regard, refused to be identified for fear of retribution. “They took a good cultural village and made it into a family business - a cow with milk to feed only one family. Please don’t print my name, as I can be killed. They have made themselves the bosses of this area. They are untouchables: you touch them you die,” said one resident. Andile Mtima, who was involved in setting up the centre from the start, has now succumbed to alcohol abuse. He muses: “I wanted to feed the whole communi-

ty on this project, of which I was the chairperson. Zweli Mdatyulwa was the treasurer at the time.” He adds: “On weekends, tourists used to be served traditional African beer. I would separate the tourists the way we do in our culture, taking youngsters to the youth side and the older tourists to the parents’ side. “I used to dish everything as per our tradition, and everybody loved it. It was a direct experience of

INDIGNANT: Andile Mtima believes he was used as a pawn in the community project

COLLAPSED: Qolweni cultural village has been vandalised over the past few years

FOREIGN INTEREST: German tourists visiting Qolweni asked local kids to dance for a photo session

our culture and everybody would leave the village with a happy heart, because this is what they wanted to experience in our country.” This tourism centre has since collapsed, the structures having been either vandalised or burnt. But according to Mtima, Bitou Municipality wants to revive it. “We don’t want a foreign project, we want an African cultural village. We used to have gumboot and traditional dancers, and this is what we want Bitou to ensure.” While CXPRESS was on site, about 20 German nationals arrived to visit the area, driven by Liyabona Vetshe of Ocean Blue Adventures. The tourists asked local kids on the street to dance for a photo session. They were taken to Siyakula pre-school for this purpose. One of the family members blamed for the collapse of the cultural village, Zweli Mdatyulwa, denies these allegations: “Those blaming me are dividing the community of Qolweni. We all want the park to be revived. I have the pictures of the traditional village, I will show you when I see you.” He requested a meeting on another day, since he spoke to CXPRESS from Queenstown. Neighbouring resident Thenjiwe Duna praises the project for what it did for her child when still operational. “When it was active, the project saved my child from drugs and alcohol, as he was a dancer at the village. His school clothes were bought by its committee back then. It was a good project, but has since collapsed and is being used as a crime centre. I wish it will be revived because my child was motivated by it.” Fellow resident Nomvuyo Labi alleges that a woman was once raped at the centre: “It is a dangerous place now. We will be very happy if it operates again as it will attract tourists and make our area popular.” Municipality spokesperson Manfred van Rooyen says the plan is for Bitou’s LED section to be part of the project. “They will do sessions with the community going forward. We want to relocate the families staying on site so that development can take place.”

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CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

9 May 2018

Schools enter Waste Nothing Knysna competition with gusto! HE schools competition recently launched by the BioWise programme Waste Nothing Knysna is now in full swing, 15 schools having entered with marked enthusiasm. Says BioWise executive director Sue Swain: “We are very happy with the interest shown. The entrance fee was 10% of each school’s pupil count in bottle bricks, and if you consider that it takes a huge bag of nonrecyclables, soft plastics and more to fill one bottle, we’ve already reduced our waste considerably.” Swain explains that all participating schools have to build a structure from the bottles as part of the competition. “An upcycling project, it is important that these bottle bricks are being used for something useful and we want the schools to apply this principle. “This first year of the competition will see schools focusing on ways to reduce

THE RACE IS ON: Teachers Lorraine Alfreds, left, Gert Swarts and Marietjie Terblanche set the pace with some of their students, working hard to make the required amount of bottle bricks that may win them a whopping R30K cash prize - Sedgefield Primêr was the first school with the required quantity of bottle bricks to enter the competition

their waste and being waterwise. They are being taught to measure how much water can be harvested from school roof areas, and will also make rain water gauges from 2-litre plastic bottles.” The competition is being run in partnership with the National Lottery Commission, Edge of Africa, SANParks and the Knysna Municipality. “In my interaction with the kids, I am constantly

amazed by the initiative and enthusiasm they show. It is a pleasure to work with them and we sincerely thank these schools for making the effort to enter our competition.” The prize-giving is scheduled for September and will see both the winning high school and winning primary school receive a R30,000 cash prize. Email Sue on sue@biowise.org.za and visit WasteNothingKnysna on Facebook for more info.

Bitou 10 Foundation empowers with educational skills and resources OR the past 14 months, Early Childhood Development (ECD) managers in Bitou have been capacitated through workshops focussing on curriculum planning, financial management, fundraising, human resources, office administration, computer training, and First Aid instruction. Says B10F communications officer Veronique Fortune: “At the programme’s conclusion, 11 ECD sites received resources worth R30,000 to further assist them with top-quality educational aids.” All ECD managers expressed their profound gratitude to the Foundation, one of whom penned their collective sentiments thus: “We are so grateful for what you have done for us. You were very helpful - visiting us, giving us ideas and ad-

THEY NOW KNOW THE WAY: Showing off their certificates are, at back from left, Buyiswa Mabele (Home of Angels), Louise Harker (Lumen Christi ECD Centre), Victoria N Bomsi (Masibulele), Nomathamsanqa Mabi (Khanya Day Care), Nomthandazo Petse (Kwezi Lokusa) and Nocawa Zuzani (Sizanani), with Ursula Adams (Bay Eagles) and Yoliswa Meat (Singatha Educare) in front

vising us. “We can now see where we are going. Please do not give up on us.” No chance of that happening while

B10F is around, ladies! Veronique thanks the ApexHi Charitable Trust for making the successful programme a reality.

NEWS & VIEWS

9 May 2018

CXPRESS

Sure, we need to create more jobs… …but first we must stop the rot and rebuild an economy, advises STUART MURRAY HE mantra that ‘we need to create more jobs’ reverberates like a rallying cry around every corner of South Africa’s political debate, and beyond. But the sentiment is a tad back-to-front. First of all we have to recreate an economy that - and this is critical - must be in line with the country’s population growth. The Chinese long ago recognised this and brought in their onefamily, one-child policy, and then embarked on an industrial modernisation programme which led to its position today as the world’s second economy. A totalitarian government can (sometimes) get away with such harsh and inhuman measures, but such a policy for a democratic South Africa is unthinkable. Part of our employment dilemma is that there are actually a significant number of vacant jobs. The World Bank recently computed that South Africa was in desperate need of candidates to fill 40,000 artisan and technical positions. The reality is that we are short of the trained people who actually make things work. This government’s decision to do away with the

apprenticeship system has come back to haunt it - and is equalled in consequences only by its closure of teachers’ training colleges. The irony is that government itself, however, has been world-beating in its internal efforts to create jobs. Government departments national, provincial, and municipal are overflowing with employees. The total number of government workers is now well over 2-million, of which around 1.7-million are employed by provinces. The same goes for state institutions; Eskom alone is, according to a World Bank report, overstaffed by 66%. Pay levels are high, particularly those of top officials. Total salary outgoings for the provinces is around R150-billion. Tshwane’s municipal manager is the top earner at R3.076-million a year, followed by Joburg and Cape Town at R2.69-million (at last available count). Jobs for the boys is no way to run a country... Says Economist Dr Azar Jammine: “Employment creation by the means of public sector agencies is not a permanent solution. In the long term, such a policy is bound to result in huge fiscal strains.”

Corruption, as we know to our cost, is rife and is estimated to have filtered off R700-billion over the past 20 years. Wasteful spending is another issue. One example is the R3.75-billion spent on 70 Afro4000 trains, which did not comply with South African rail specs. So how can we turn this mess around - or more pertinently, how can president Ramaphosa and his loyalists pull the rabbit out of the hat? Let’s look at the working force numbers, and how unemployment is measured. The official statistical calculation computes the number of people actively looking for a job as a percentage of the labour force. South Africa’s unemployment rate averaged 25.52% from the years 2000 to 2017. It reached an all-time high (31.20%) in the first quarter of 2003 and a record low in the fourth quarter of 2008. But what tends to confuse the issue is that South Africa has a large and vibrant informal economy - which is basically a variety of economic activities, businesses, jobs, and employers not regulated by government. It is difficult to compute, but is reckoned to be any-

where between 7% and 13% of the labour market. In many other African countries, it’s much higher. This informal economy is too often underestimated. The International Labour Organisation (ILO) states that in South Africa the informal economy contributes as much as 30% to GDP. Alas, governments in general are wary of their own informal economies - particularly the high involvement of women (goodness knows why). The answer is probably that they can’t really influence its operations and participants. Prof Terence Jackson of Middlesex University, who has made a study of the sector’s rapid development, has another explanation for this opposition: in general, the participants don’t pay tax! By the looks of things, our informal economy should be encouraged. At present it helps itself if not in the ways of our politicians… • Stuart Murray (stuartmurray758@gmail.com) is a former senior assistant editor of Financial Mail and co-founder, editor, and CEO of Finance Week. He is retired and lives (and enjoys a wee pint) in Plettenberg Bay.

Spring tide calm and storm captured metres apart Last week’s spring tide inspired Plett resident Corinne Fernley, who is also responsible for our eye-catching cover shot, to take the photo at left of waves thundering at Lookout Beach throughout the morning of May 1. Says Corinne: “What a magnificent majestic ocean! I photographed the African black oystercatcher, below, in the calm shallows, just metres from the massive swells. I then contacted Nature’s Valley Trust, who managed to identify the bird from its numbered tag. It was originally ringed as a chick in February 2008, and then again as a breeding adult on Lookout Beach last December.” Corrine adds that she’s a big CXPRESS fan, since our beautiful area provides so many fascinating stories and images, and says she looks forward to each edition. Visit www.naturesvalleytrust. co.za to find out more about this small but dynamic community-driven NPO which operates in the four main arenas of conservation, education, community, and research.

La Luna

CXPRESS

INTERVAL

9 May 2018

Do something nice

LOCAL LAUGH OF THE WEEK Submit your joke to editor@cxpress.co.za

Mind the ducks… HREE golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven. Upon arrival, they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen. St Peter tells them they are all welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there is only one rule: “Don’t hit the ducks during your first three months here.” The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them asks: “The ducks?” “Yes,” St Peter replies, “there are thousands of ducks walking around the course, and if one gets hit, he quacks, then the one next to him quacks and soon they’re all quacking to beat the band. “It breaks the tranquillity, and if you hit one of the ducks, you’ll be punished. Otherwise everything is yours to enjoy.” Upon entering the course, the men note that there are indeed large numbers of ducks everywhere. Within 15 minutes, one of the guys hits a duck. The duck quacks, the one next to it quacks and soon there’s a deafening roar of duck quacks. St Peter walks up with an extremely homely woman in tow and asks: “Who hit the duck?” The guilty guy admits: “I did.” St Peter immediately pulls out a pair of handcuffs and cuffs the man’s right hand to the home-

ly woman’s left hand. “I told you not to hit the ducks,” he says. “Now you’ll be handcuffed together for eternity.” The other two men are very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally does. The quacks are as deafening as before, and within minutes St Peter walks up with an even uglier woman. He cuffs the man’s right hand to the homely woman’s left hand. “I told you not to hit the ducks,” he says. “Now you’ll be handcuffed together for eternity.” The third man remains extremely careful. Some days he doesn’t play for fear of even nudging a duck. After three months, he still hadn’t hit a duck. St Peter walks up to the man at the end of the three months, and has with him a knock-out, gorgeous woman - the most beautiful woman the man has ever seen. St Peter smiles at the man and then, without a word, handcuffs him to the beautiful woman and walks off. The man, knowing that he will be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, lets out a contented sigh and says out loud: “I wonder what I did to deserve this? The woman responds: “Don’t know about you, but I just hit a duck.” Submitted by Chas Fraser, Plett

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like I want a sexy body, but I need koeksisters.

NABLE to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, Jon who lived far away called his brother and told him: “Do something nice for Uncle Charlie and send me the bill.” A month later, Jon received a bill for R1,000, which he paid. The next month, he received another bill for

R1,000, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense. But when the R1,000 bills kept arriving every month, Jon finally called his brother to find out what was going on. “Well,” said his brother, “you said to do something nice for Uncle Charlie. So I rented him a tuxedo.”

When you’re watching a really sad movie and you’re trying not to cry...

Free advice to share N a recent flight to Johannesburg, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent education seminars I regularly conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to the city after having spent two weeks visiting her six

children, 18 grandchildren, and 10 great grandchildren in Cape Town. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back and said: “If there’s anything you want to know, just ask me.”

SOCIAL SCENE

9 May 2018

OPEN FOR BARGAINS: The opening of the Hospice Plett Charity Shop on April 28 was a resounding success with throngs of shoppers snapping up armful of reasonably-priced, high-quality goods. Volunteers who run the shop for Hospice Plett as well as its board of trustees were overwhelmed with the response from local residents, both in donating great goods to sell and in virtually clearing out the entire stock on opening day! At right, Hospice Plett chairman Hilary Matthews and Helen Ward, right, of Helen Melon Properties - one of Hospice Plett’s largest local donors - share a glass of bubbly to toast the venture’s bright future. Above, Formosa Parish’s new assistant priest Heather Steenkamp enjoys the lovely couch she acquired on opening day. The inset shows the beautiful signage of the Hospice Plett Charity Shop in Crescent Street, just below the Checkers parking lot and across the road from The Fish Shop.

CXPRESS

People, places & events

GETTING FIT IN THE GREAT OUTDOORS: Knysna mayor Eleanore Bouw-Spies officially launched the town’s first open-air gymnasium in George Rex Drive, next to Cathy Park, on Thursday May 3. She said the municipality was delighted when hearing they had been selected as a beneficiary by the National Department of Sport and Recreation. “What a wonderful contribution as an outdoor activity! We thank the Department for the great initiative. This gym does not only allow our residents to get healthy outdoors, but the facility can be enjoyed by old and young, abled and disabled. Exercise time can now double up as family time.” Bouw-Spies said although they would do some maintenance, it is up to residents to make sure the equipment is used responsibly. “Please look after the equipment. Make sure you clean it after you’ve used it, and please be safe. Use the equipment in the correct way, and don’t overdo it.” She concluded by saying it is important that the gym can be used free of charge. “I have news for those of you that used finances as an excuse for not working out - it is no longer valid! I am looking forward to seeing all our residents using these facilities. Remember, no matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch. The important thing is to just get going.” At left above, the mayor and Ward 9 councillor Mark Willemse officially open the facility.

PARTIAL TO BIRD SHOTS: “What started out as an ‘open’ evening with a bird slant turned into a very good bird evening with an open slant!” says Derek Rushton of the Plett PhotoFUNatics. He thanks Mike and Carol Bridgeford of BirdLife SA’s local chapter for an informative chat on photographing birds in flight. Congratulations to William Dalgleish (Seniors) and Aquila Stadtherr (Juniors) for being chosen as ‘Best of the Best’ last month. Willy says he took this moor-hen pic last May. “There was an altercation in the reeds at the Rondevlei bird hide early one Saturday morning. I focussed my attention in that direction, when three moor-hens broke cover and started chasing one another across the front of the hide. I was fortunate to be able to capture two of them as they passed the hide, giving me the shot I have wanted for years.” Email derek_ rushton@hotmail.com to find out more.

PARKRUN FUN: Plett added to its list of attractions with the launch of the Harkerville parkrun on May 5. Situated immediately adjacent to the popular Harkerville Saturday Market, Plett’s parkrun joins 139 others held every Saturday throughout SA. Comrades legend Bruce Fordyce - pictured above with Harkerville parkrun director Heather Kennedy - was present at the launch and addressed the 339 participants before they set off. Said Fordyce: “In South Africa, parkrun began six and a half years ago at Delta Park in Joburg with 26 people. Today there are more than 528,000 registered parkrunners and 50,000 South Africans go along to a parkrun every Saturday morning. You have to register for parkrun for your time to be recorded, and you will receive an email later in the day informing you of your time that morning. But be careful: parkrun is very addictive! You get a red shirt after you have completed 50 parkruns, a black shirt when you have done 100 parkruns and then there’s another shirt…” at which point Fordyce turned around and showed the back of his green shirt, inscribed with the number ‘250’. Yes, 250 parkruns, and an aggregate total of 1,250km! The distance of a parkrun is 5km, wherever the venue, and participants can either run, jog or walk the course. Go to www.parkrun.co.za to register and click on www.parkrun.co.za/harkerville to volunteer. First home after the inaugural Harkerville parkrun was Sivuyile Qole of Plett who completed the 5km course in 17:19, and runner up by a single second was Gavin Smith of Loughborough University in the UK, presently on holiday in Plett with his family. Pictured above from left are Nicky Tau, René Leonard, Lesley Jacobs and Quanita Tau, all of Plettenberg Bay. - Timothy Twidle

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Paws

Plett Animal Welfare Service

9 May 2018

CLASSIFIEDS

ON THE SOAPBOX

9 May 2018

Letters to the Editor

Email: editor@cxpress.co.za - Fax: 044 533 0852 - PO Box 1449, Plett 6600

Please, don’t expect us to coexist with these She comments that the ‘not-so-closest’ neighbours use of GPS collars is inFunny, the appeal of studying the interaction between baboons and people “on the fringes of suburbia” [turn to page 5 of the May 2 edition at www.cxpress.co.za]; we do not, and cannot be expected to “coexist”. Good fences make good neighbours - and what fences they need to be! One may seriously question the statement that Afro-Montane forest is ideal habitat, as baboons occur throughout southern Africa wherever there are safe roosting sites. Baboons are emphatically not our closest evolutionary partner - chimps at 99% genetic correspondence are. One of the attractions

of a semi-rural lifestyle is surely to be able to grow one’s own fruit, vegetables and poultry without being ripped off by these dangerous and destructive animals. I have even heard it said that one should grow one crop for oneself and one for the baboons - a concept which, if baboons could agree to it, would qualify them for university entrance, never mind a share of the crop. We live in a world gone mad. PS: Your jokes page is as good as ever! ‘Conservationist Farmer’, Knysna (Point taken, sir - and no better an opportunity to admit that through some

ill-timed tech niggle, comments and amendments by Dr Chloé Guerbois of Nelson Mandela University reached us after the page with Bob Hopkin’s baboon story went to print. Indeed, ‘not so distant’ would have been more factual a description, since bonobos and chimps are our closest evolutionary partners. Dr Guerbois confirms your suspicions on AfroMontane forest, saying that Chacma baboons’ best habitats might be savannahs and woodlands. Cape baboons - Papio ursinus ursinus - feed and rest on a wide variety of territories, but forested areas remain their main refuge habitats.

vasive rather than “inhumane”, adding that it could be very costly. “It also poses ethical concerns, as no serious study has been conducted yet on the impact of the collars on their fitness. “It further creates a gap between the public and the animal, the public thinking the animal belongs to the researchers, which might have adverse effects on the social dimensions of human-baboon conflicts.” Dr Guerbois concludes that collaring cannot be seen as a panacea, and that new methods need to be developed to encourage collaborations and cooperation in conservation. Here’s hoping we’ve now set the primate record straight... - Eds.)

Each store in Plettenberg Bay should designate how much easier and less a buddy for the differently-abled stressful would it not have You’ve just got to love Plett’s new Checkers with its wide aisles and nonslip floors! But here’s another suggestion: this store and every store in Plett should have a DAB or Differently-abled Buddy available during trading hours. Some weeks ago I saw a mother with a trolley and her son (aged about 18) in his wheelchair. She was trying to push the one and then the other to get around. Anyone in that position should really be able to call on a buddy for the differently-abled in-store, to help pushing the trol-

ley, taking groceries off the shelves, packing it all into the car and so forth. When pointing this out to the store manager, he was keen to call his PRO straight away and suggest this. He reckoned it was a brilliant idea and would certainly be a first for Checkers stores all over South Africa. Ideally, every store should have a staff member appointed for a week to take up this challenge. In this way, they can also acquaint themselves with the differently-abled. And the customer must know that when they get to the store, they can

stop at the Customer Service Counter and ask for a DAB. How amazing would that be? I saw an elderly woman parked in the disabled parking lot near Pick and Pay a while ago. Her husband, a big man, was holding onto the back door handle of the car while she was trying to stop his wheelchair from rolling backwards and off-loading the groceries at the same time. She then tried to manoeuvre him into the car she was only a little thing, too. I helped but again, it is not good enough. If there were a DAB on hand,

been? And this happens daily in our midst. Rita Hardaker, Plett (Rita, née Van Rensburg, is on a roll with her differently-abled campaign, aimed to make Plett the most welcoming town for folk with disabilities of any kind. With seemingly boundless energy she has been in contact with a plethora of hospitality establishment, eateries, etc. to address this issue, while fine-tuning the mechanics of a schools drawing competition with great prizes up for grabs. To find out more or to get involved, email ritav@ global.co. za. - Eds.)

Plett in a dire state, its future in the hands of the incompetent When is this municipal merry-go-round going to stop? When are the councillors going to realise that they are elected by the people for the benefit of the people and not to be part of national politics? This town is in a dire state. The voice of the ratepayers means nothing. The voice of the employers of labour counts for even less. The opinions of people who hope to see a progressive future for Plettenberg Bay have as much hope as John the Baptist in the wilderness. Surely it is time for politics to be set aside for the

benefit of its community, and not by the continual increase in trying to cover its total incompetence. Why are they hell-bent on closing down Plett Tourism - the one organisation that has been effective for every buck, so that a few councillors can have paid holidays, or to appoint totally ignorant friends to run one of the most important functions in this town? If they cannot run the municipality effectively, how are they going to run tourism? The ratepayers don’t want it. The people who contribute to Plett

Tourism don’t want it, and the people who are employed in the bureau won’t want it, as they watch businesses die under an inefficient municipality. Are they going to run a tourism department by levying a tax on hotels, restaurants, and B&Bs to cover their joyrides and other excesses? If a levy is going to be raised, let the payers have a voice on where it’s going to be spent. We have now reached the bottom; we have a mayor who votes for whichever party is going to be of most benefit to him and his cronies; the return of

a municipal manager who was fired for good reasons, and the loss of one with a decent track record. We have a bunch of councillors who cannot see beyond their own needs, and who tried to stop the most vital link (CemAir) that we have had in remaking Plett a desirable destination, and not an island. The time has come for this municipality to get its act together before the people it is supposed to serve start marching in the streets as they did a few months ago. ‘Deeply Perplexed Ratepayer’, Plett

CXPRESS

Please help us treat 40 local mothers to breakfast this Sunday Mother’s Day is just around the corner but for some children, Mother’s Day is not about handing over presents, flowers or handmade cards; it’s about finding a safe and stable home with foster parents, or the safety of a teen runaway shelter. Forward is a unique nonprofit organisation that works in conjunction with other local NGOs to provide food bundles for individuals and families in Plett’s Pine Trees community, most members of whom live below the poverty line. Donations made by various individuals and caring businesses allow us to serve the hungry among us, and without this important support we would not be able to operate. Every week our wonderful team of volunteers work hard to secure food donations received and distributed to feed the community. This past year we’ve seen a marked increase in the number of individuals and families who are in desperate need of basic items. Many have come to rely on our feeding scheme to supplement their family’s meagre food inventory, or as their primary resource for food products. We hope your readers will

consider making a donation to the Pine Trees Community Outreach Project for Families and Children in Need as we approach this Mother’s Day. You will be helping the mothers of our community who live with the harsh reality of food insecurity every day. If you would prefer that a member of our team picks up your donation in person, just let us know and we’ll be more than happy to do that. Other items always needed include big grocery bags. We would like to treat 40 mothers to a breakfast on Mother’s Day this Sunday, and our wish list for this event include snacks like chips, peanuts, sweets and biscuits; cake, muffins, and scones; coffee, tea, milk, sugar and juice, as well as a small present for each lady. If you can help with financial contributions, details are as follows: FNB Plett (branch code 250655), account holder Pine Trees Outreach Project, acc no 6272 9044 553, swift code FIR NAJJ. Thanks in advance for opening your hearts and wallets. Shaun Terblanche, Plett (Contact Shaun at pinetreespro ject@gmail.com or on 073 513 5119 for more details. - Eds.)

CXPRESS

SPORT & ADVENTURE

9 May 2018

Top Tsitsikamma Ultra trail runners slash hours off previous course records ATURDAY May 5 saw 31 brave athletes lining up at the start of the third edition of the MTO Tsitsikamma Ultra Trail Run. This race, which may well claim to be one of the most scenic of its kind on the continent,

follows the Tsitsikamma Hiking Trail for 60km from Storms River to Nature’s Valley. First finisher was Capetonian Roelof Mostert (6hrs 49mins), who broke the course record by a whopping 58 minutes. This gen-

erous and humble trail runner promptly handed over his cash prize of R2,500 to race director James Stewart, to donate straight towards to the #SoundstheCall cause. [Turn to page 5 of the December 20 edition at www.cxpress.co.za to find out more about Roelof’s reasons for campaigning in support of this NPO that backs Plett’s volunteer firefighters.] Ladies winner local Janet Woodhead attained quite a similar feat when she managed to shave almost an hour off her winning time in last year’s race, to defend her title from 2016 winner Lizani Grant from Port Elizabeth.

VICTORY IS OURS: Ladies and men’s winners of the MTO Tsitsikamma Ultra Trail Run 2018 Janet Woodhead and Roelof Mostert

SUN SHINES ON ORIOLE: Crags local Oriole Bolus makes the most of the fresh air and space on his way to a third place overall

Lesson learnt at Oudtshoorn sports day: it’s not all about winning FLEET OF FOOT, TOO: Former national mountain-bike champ Kevin Evans enjoys the fresh mountain streams that characterise the MTO Tsitsikamma Ultra route Photos: Glenn Murray

LOUIS AUTO BODY REPAIRS

NGOMSO Lethu is a youth and child development organisation based in Plett, members of which were invited to attend a sports day in Oudtshoorn on April 28. Says convenor Kenneth Momo: “None of our teams managed to win, but it was very interesting to witness how well the kids enjoyed themselves, meeting new people and making friends. “The other main lesson learnt by the kids was that often in life we face challenges sometimes you win and sometimes lose. But the big question is what you do when you lose. Do you just give up and do nothing? We teach them to be resilient and tenacious.” He kindly thanks BUCO Plettenberg Bay for paying for the transport that took the Wittedrift and Green Valley youngsters to Oudtshoorn. “The kids really enjoyed the trip - we didn’t even know that for some of them it was a first-ever excursion to Oudtshoorn. If anyone would like to help us with sports equipment like rugby and netball balls or rugby jerseys, we would really appreciate it,” he said. Email ingomsolethu4@gmail.com or call Kenneth Momo 083 856 7974 or Dennis Blou on 076 407 3329 for further information.

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