The art of resolving worldly conflicts through Gnani’s vision

Editor :

Deepak Desai December 2008 Vol. : 4, Issue : 2 Conti. Issue No.: 38

DADAVANI The art of resolving worldly conflicts through Gnani’s vision

Publisher, Owner & Printed by : Deepak Desai on behalf of Mahavideh Foundation, 5, Mamtapark Soc., Usmanpura, Ahmedabad-380014 Gujarat, India.

EDITORIAL In the language of the Gnan of real religion of the Akram Vignan—direct path to Selfrealization, true vyavahar worldly interactions begin after attaining true nischaya—the state of the Self. Ideal worldly interaction is the main base of ultimate liberation.

Gnanis and Tirthankara Lords saw the world as flawless, finished their worldly interactions, became free from the bondage of karma and thereafter they attained liberation. Akram Vignani Dadashri Himself too attained vitaragata—the absolute state of detachment, through this very path and He is telling all who want liberation to proceed along this path.

In our daily worldly life interactions in the kashayas which are in the form of raag-dwesh – attachment-abhorrence arise; the root of insistence, opinion or faulty vision is there and because of this, experience of the bliss of the Self is obstructed.

We have to resolve the vyavahar worldly interaction through nischaya drashti—the vision of the Self instead of vyavahar drashti—relative, worldly vision. We have to resolve relative vyavahar worldly interaction, superfluously, dramatically, without hurting anybody, without creating interference with anybody, without creating clash with anybody by staying in the state of the Self. All that unfolds is temporary anyway and this inner vision is of the one who is permanent, the Self.

What does vyavahar worldly interaction mean? How should it be? What is ideal vyavahar worldly interaction? Very profound understanding of this worldly interaction is made available in Dadashri’s experiential speech which is incontrovertible. Let us begin making the highest inner effort towards accomplishing the goal of having ideal worldly interaction by repeatedly setting this knowledge and understanding. After attaining the Shuddhatma—the state of the pure Soul, we have to settle our worldly interactions, which are the discharging karma effects by remaining as the Self. Until these karma accounts are settled, how can one accomplish the goal of moksha—ultimate liberation?

To keep the vyavahar as vyavahar and nischaya as nischaya (to keep the relative as relative and the real as real) is verily the true purusharth highest inner effort and mahatmas (the Self-realized ones in Akram Vignan) have to start doing this purusharth. And thereafter in every life situation, every circumstance the awakened awareness of the Self will bring about complete resolution of conflicts.

In this Dadavani, many keys are provided which will be helpful to mahatmas to settle the worldly life interactions with equanimity and living the family life with harmony. These keys are like a lighthouse that brings the ship from stormy waters of worldly life to the safe harbor of liberation. ~Deepak Desai Subscription :Yearly Subscription India: 100 Rupees USA: 15 Dollars UK: 10 Pounds 15 Years Subscription India: 800 Rupees USA: 150 Dollars UK: 100 Pounds Printer/Press : Mahavideh Foundation, Basement, Parshvanath Chambers, Usmanpura, Ahmedabad-380014

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The art of resolving worldly conflicts through Gnani’s vision (Please note that ‘S’ for Self, or ‘Y’ for You, refers to the awakened one in Akram Vignan, or the eternal

Self. The ‘s’ for self refers to the worldly self. For a detailed glossary please see: www.dadashri.org/ glossary.html)

What is worldly interaction?

Questioner: What is vyavahar worldly interaction?

Dadashri: All that is relative is called vyavahar. The vyavahar is carried out by and between all that is temporary. All these relatives are temporary adjustments - all that is vyavahar and real is the permanent - the eternal. The eternal does not demand any interaction or doership. One has to carry out the vyavahar, do, that which is temporary. If one understands this much only about vyavahar, then he can attain liberation.

Vyavahar is dependent on other factors This vyavahar is par-aashrit dependent on other factors and evidences. ‘You’ do not have even the slightest of control over it. People believe they are swa-aashrit have control over is par-aashrit that which is not under their control. One person will believe this, then another one will, and thus you will believe it too. Then you will never think about it again.

Once the disease takes hold, how can anyone get rid of it? Thus the worldly disease kept on increasing until it became chronic. When you could not get rid of this disease before it became chronic, then how are you going to get rid of it now that it has become chronic?

It will go away if one attains the knowledge of this science of Akram Vignan.

Completion of worldly interaction is the final solution The Lord has said, “There is vyavahar and there is nischaya.” There is the relative world and there is the Self. Vyavahar is in the 2

process of being divided completely, without any leftover (remainders), otherwise how can there be an end to it? We should always keep vyavahar in vyavahar and nischaya in nischaya (keep the relative as relative and the real as real). Is whatever that is destined in vyavahar not bound to come? Vyavahar will bring to you in ‘cash’ whatever vyavahar you have brought with you from your past life.

What does vyavahar say? Why is it that the other person gave you only eight when he owed you eighteen? It is because the vyavahar was only of eight and therefore by giving only eight, that vyavahar is ‘zeroed out’ completely; the karmic debt of past life is paid off. If the Gnani Purush has given you Gnan, then you will not charge any more new karma. Otherwise karmas will be charged for the next life.

Vyavahar means that which ends the karmic accounts of both the involved parties.

It is that which ends the gross karmas i.e. karmas perceived through the five senses and karmas that one can experience. For the one who has not attained the knowledge of the Self, the vyavahar leaves but it simultaneously charges new karmas for the next life. For the one who is Self realized, there is only discharge of the vyavahar. There is no new charging of karma. The discharge may be of any kind but that which discharges is exactly in accordance with the vyavahar with that person.

Gratitude – ingratitude, all is vyavahar Some will respond with ingratitude no matter how obliging or benevolent you are to them. You will lose your mind if you start to look for justice there. Even the authorities and December 2008

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the attorneys will go crazy. It is vyavahar when a person practices benevolence and it is also vyavahar when a person is being malevolent. If you bring in an arbitrator to carry out justice, he will start making all kinds of demands on you – bring me some tea and snacks!

Why do you look for justice where there is vyavahar (ongoing worldly interaction)? If you do not accept this, then vyavahar itself will compel you into accepting it. So why not understand once and for all, that it is nothing but vyavahar.

vyavahar worldly duties or nischaya the Self and its realm?

Dadashri: Duties of the worldly life come first but that does not mean You should get attached to worldly duties.

Questioner: So should one become niraagi averse to attachment in the worldly life?

Dadashri: Having raag attachment is a single mistake and becoming niraagi without attachment is double the mistake. One cannot remain niraagi.

Ideal exactness as the Self only with ideal worldly interaction

Questioner: Niraagi in what way?

Please explain further.

One has to understand vyavahar worldly interaction. One is already the Self (after the Gnan Vidhi), there is no need to know anything. If vyavahar is exact then nischaya is exact. If vyavahar became ideal then nischaya is ideal. If there is interference in vyavahar, there will be interference in nischaya. Nischaya is the photograph of vyavahar.

Dadashri: It is when one becomes nispruha abhorrent towards worldly life, here.

By nispruha with worldly life we mean that when a mother tells her son, ‘Why do you not listen to me?’ the son says, ‘I have become Atma’; that is not acceptable. There should be vinaya humility and vivek discrimination in life interactions. No one should have complaints about our worldly interactions.

However people continue to give importance to ‘nischaya – the Self’, this will weaken the importance towards vyavahar interaction with others, so one has to serve that first. What did we focus on with keen attention? Worry about getting free from that which you are bound with. This ‘nischaya’ has left us free only, nischaya is the state of our own Self, we do not need to wallow in the pleasure that we have attained the Self, we need to give our importance and attentive pleasure there (vyavahar). Know what you are bound with. Does the Self need any flattery?

To be hasty in anything is a single mistake and not to have haste is double the mistake.

What comes first? ‘Vyavahar or Nischaya’ Questioner: What comes first, December 2008

Which hole do you want to fall in?

Questioner: Neither.

Dadashri: Therefore, understand this matter. Is the train going to wait for you if you do not hurry? And if you hurry too much, you may cause an accident. Therefore, if one hurries, it is considered a single mistake and if one does not hurry, it is double the mistake.

Vyavahar means there is nothing left over How can we call it vyavahar, if instead of ‘dividing nine by nine’, you ‘divide by twelve’?

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What is worldly justice? It is to divide nine by twelve. That is why people get entangled within. The worldly justice says, ‘He said this to me, and so I should respond in this way.’ But if you speak just once, the other person will speak twice as much. If you say something twice and the other person will say it ten times. Vyavahar will continue because they are both spinning tops (charged pudgal, prakruti). Vyavahar comes to an end when both the tops stop talking. Vyavahar means there is nothing left over, no carry forward for another life; no remainders after division, no pending karmic account.

What kind of justice in vyavahar?

Vyavahar is the very thing that creates entanglements and problems everywhere. There is no connection between vyavahar and justice. People look for justice, however justice is not something one should seek or call for.

If a mother-in-law mistreats her daughter-inlaw, that is vyavahar and it is also vyavahar if she treats her with respect and care. This body pudgal would not exist if there was no vyavahar. There will be no end to entanglements if one looks for justice in vyavahar worldly interactions.

Eleven disciples had vyavahar with Lord Mahavir. If one of the disciples felt slighted, that disciple would not be able to sleep all night. What can the Lord do about that? Why should one be seeking justice in that? If you accept vyavahar as vyavahar then you will understand justice. Why did your neighbor say negative things to you? He did so because such was your vyavahar with him. The words that come out of your mouth are dependent upon your vyavahar with the other person.

But you want to go to moksha, so you should do pratikraman.

Pratikraman will not take you to 4

moksha but it is a link with God in the other person to avoid creating vengeance. Vengeance will be created if you are slack in doing pratikraman. Do pratikraman the moment you realize your mistake. Doing so will never create vengeance, even if the other person wants to, because you send a direct message to the God within him. There is no solution or remedy for this worldly interaction. Do pratikraman only if you want moksha. In the absence of knowledge of the Self, if you want to continue to maintain the worldly interactions as the worldly interactions they are, then if the other person curses you, you are to see it as being correct. But if you want moksha, then you have to do pratikraman also, otherwise the other person will bind enmity.

The flawless world Dadashri: People are not able to see their own mistakes, are they?

Questioner: No, they cannot.

Dadashri: Why is that? They are intelligent, so why not?

Questioner: They see everyone else’s mistakes.

Dadashri: That, too–they do not see the true mistakes. They measure other people through their intellect and then they pick out their mistakes. ‘We’ do not see mistakes in anyone in this world.

Questioner: Dada, the whole world is nirdosh flawless and that is true from the ‘real’ perspective, but by the ‘relative’ view, everything is bound to have dosh mistakes, is it not?

Dadashri: Yes, but now we no longer intend to live in the relative, the non-Self, do we? We want to live only in the real Self.

Relative means the worldly life. Do you like to December 2008

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live in the real or in the relative?

relationships will come to an end or break.

Questioner: We like only the real, Dada.

But we have to live in both, do we not? As the Self nischaya, we understand that everyone is flawless, without mistakes, but often we have to see people from the worldly life view, do we not?

Questioner: They are like that. I have experienced that.

Dadashri: No, vyavahar interaction in the worldly life does not tell you that you have to look for mistakes in others. ‘We,’ too, live in the worldly life, do we not? And yet I can constantly see the world as flawless.

There is no one with a mistake in this world. If others appear at fault, it is our own mistake. And yet all these courts, lawyers, government, everybody considers them guilty, do they not?

Questioner: How should we look at it? Are they not guilty as far as the worldly life is concerned?

Dadashri: There is no one at fault in the worldly life.

No one is at fault from the perspective of shuddha vyavahar pure worldly interaction.

Everyone is a Shuddhatma—the pure Soul— from the perspective of nischaya the Self and from this viewpoint; they cannot have any mistakes, can they?

If anyone had made a mistake, Lord Mahavir would have seen that, but the Lord did not see anyone at fault. Even when large bedbugs were biting him, the Lord did not see them at fault.

The worldly life is a drama Worldly relations by nature are prone to chyuta fall and end, and You are achyuta not subject to fall from your real status and come to an end. There is no telling when worldly December 2008

Dadashri: You too have experienced that? The nature of your relationship with your mother too is prone to end?

Questioner: Yes. Dadashri: All relationships are chyuta prone to end by their very nature but you have to keep this to yourself. As far as your worldly interactions are concerned, you will even have to tell your mother, ‘Mom, I do not like being away from you.’

Even your mother will say, ‘Son, I do not like it without you,’ and the one within (You) know that it is a relation that will end or is prone to end. This entire worldly life is like a drama. From within You know that, ‘I am pure Soul—Shuddhatma, and this drama of the worldly life has to be played out in the name of ‘Chandulal.’ There is no raag-dwesh – attachment-abhorrence in this drama. In a drama, people quarrel and fight but there is no raag-dwesh in it. This drama that is currently taking place has already been previously rehearsed in the past life. That is why ‘we’ say everything is vyavasthit; otherwise, would a person not have changed everything around?

In this world, instead of playing his part like he is in a drama, if a man has an important position at his job, at his work he will be obstinate aadayee but at home he will behave in front of his wife. When you visit him at home he will say, ‘Come on in and sit down,’ but when he is at work, he will not even look at you. ‘Hey, you! What is it about the chair you sit on at work that bothers you?’ Does it make you arrogant? He will go around thinking, ‘I am this… I am that.’ Hey, man! What is so mighty about you? At home, your wife bullies you!

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Should you not understand something at least? There is a mutual relationship with everyone that you interact with. What is the world? It is mutual existence. Regardless of whom you are interacting with, whether it is a collector or a servant, you should maintain a helping and obliging nature; there should be an intent mutuality.

Worldly interactions of ‘Chandulal’ are temporary Questioner: Whenever I am interacting and conducting myself in the worldly life, I have no understanding of whether ‘I am Shuddhatma’ or ‘I am Chandulal.’

Dadashri: It is necessary for you to understand this; you are ‘Chandulal’ and ‘You’ are also the pure Soul, Shuddhatma. By the relative viewpoint, you are ‘Chandulal’ and by the real viewpoint ‘You’ are ‘Shuddhatma.’

All that is relative is vinashi temporary and prone to destruction. In the temporary realm, you are Chandulal. All temporary interaction is Chandulal’s and the avinashi indestructible and eternal interaction is Yours – the Self’s.

Now, after attaining this Gnan, Your jagruti awareness lies in the eternal.

If there is a lack of understanding, then sometimes one can make mistakes like this; not everyone makes such mistakes.

You are not just Chandulal. When you are working for someone, you are an employee there. Therefore, you have to fulfill all your duties as an employee. No one is an employee forever.

Questioner: There are so many atikraman transgressions towards other living beings through thoughts, speech and acts going on that I barely finish one task and another one is ready and waiting. When trying to do pratikraman for one, the force of the other is 6

so strong that I have to keep the pratikraman for the previous one pending.

Dadashri: They will unfold in huge numbers. When you deal with those large numbers with equanimity, then gradually the force will weaken. This is all pudgal. Pudgal means that which was filled puran is now coming out (galan is the discharge, the effect).

Settle this with equanimity, with a calm and composed mind, free of any hindrance or conflicts (do sambhave nikaal).

So by a certain apeksha expectation you are Chandulal, by another expectation you are a boss, by another you are her father-inlaw. But would you not know by what apeksha you are a father-in-law? Would you not know your limitations? If someone insists that you are her father-in-law forever, then you will say, ‘No sir, no one can be a fatherin-law forever!’

‘You’ are a Shuddhatma—the pure Soul, and ‘Chandulal’ is a vadgan something that has possessed You. The reason you get pulled in only the direction of ‘Chandulal’ is because it has been adhyas the practice of countless past lives. If the doctor gives you instructions not to use your right hand, you will inadvertently end up using it. But ‘this’ awareness of the Self is such that you will know right away that a mistake has occurred. The Self verily is jagruti awareness. The Self is the Gnan, but the ajagruti unawareness of the past old habit of ‘I am Chandulal’ unfolds and therefore, you end up taking a little beating in it.

Questioner: Sometimes, ‘This is my son,’ ‘This is my daughter,’ happens and then, ‘I am the pure Soul and all this is not mine, not mine,’ also happens.

Dadashri: There is multiplication going on within of, ‘He is my son,’ and so you have December 2008

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to divide it with, ‘Not mine, not mine.’ Within, there are all kinds of multipliers and dividers.

There is not just one or two. This is all maya illusionary attachment. Maya will show you all kinds of things. You will have to recognize and know all that. You will have to recognize the multiplier, ‘This is my enemy,’ and the divider, ‘This is my well-wisher.’

Uneasiness is not our state Questioner: There is a community of the ‘right-doers and wrong-doers’ within me.

This is an everyday thing.

Dadashri: Whatever bhaav inner intent arises within, if it affects you internally (asar) leading to ego-based reaction (Amado chaddhe), then leave it alone and retract.

When this happens, you will immediately know that you are on the wrong path. In such a situation just say, ‘I am Shuddhatma,’ and ‘run’ away from there. The moment the slightest vyakudata uneasiness arises amidst nirakudata the state of bliss, this should make You ‘say,’ ‘This is not My place,’ and take off from there.

Questioner: This is where I go wrong.

I do not run away when akudata-vyakudata – easiness-uneasiness arises. I just remain there in it.

Dadashri: This is not the time to sit.

You may sit later. If you sit now without the proper shakti (enough energy arising within), you will get hurt. Ours, the Self’s, territory is of nirakudata eternal bliss! Karma will be bound wherever there is the slightest akudatavyakudata (vacillation between easiness and uneasiness). Karma is not bound with a state of bliss. You are not going to gain from the worldly life by becoming uneasy. Whatever happens is vyavasthit, so remain in bliss. As long as there is shuddha upayog pure December 2008

awareness, there will be bliss.

Bondage is verily due to opinions In my youth, buddhi the intellect was like this: It would quickly form opinions about the other person. It would form a very quick opinion about others. Therefore, I can understand what must be going on within you.

Actually, it is not worth forming an opinion about anyone in this world. To form an opinion about someone is our bondage and the absence of any opinion is moksha— liberation. What is the relationship between you and anyone else? The other person has to deal with his karma and you have to deal with yours. There is absolutely no need to form any opinion about anyone.

Questioner: Our opinions are formed in the worldly life. For example, Rameshbhai takes some money from Nagindas. He then tells Nagindas, ‘I had told Chandubhai to give you the money. Has he given you 5000 rupees like I told him to?’ Now, I, Chandubhai do not know anything about this and I come to know of it when Nagindas asks me for the money. I tell Nagindas that I was not even aware of this. Consequently I end up forming an opinion that Rameshbhai is a liar.

Dadashri: Lord Mahavir goes as far to say that if someone took a hundred rupees from your pocket yesterday and you come to know about this through some evidence, then when he comes back the next day, it is wrong to have suspicion about him as soon as you see him.

Questioner: And the opinion that he is a liar, is that a mistake?

Dadashri: It is a mistake to harbor suspicion towards anybody. The Lord says that he was a thief yesterday due to 7

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udayakarma unfolding of his karma, whereas he may not be a thief today. This is all according to udayakarma fruition of one’s karma.

Questioner: So how then should I behave? If I do not harbor an opinion about him, then he will get accustomed to it and feel it is okay to continue the cheating because I am not going to say anything.

Dadashri: No, you have to proceed with caution but without maintaining an opinion.

If you keep money in your pocket, and you know that this man had taken your money, you still should not form the opinion that he is a thief. In this situation, put your money someplace else.

Our fault – Our vibration Questioner: This is not like that. Here Rameshbhai who owes the money to Nagindas tells him, ‘I have told Chandubhai and he has sent you the money.’ That is when I feel, ‘I have never had this discussion with Rameshbhai. He has not called me, and he is lying in this manner!’ How should I act when this happens to me?

Dadashri: Yes, a person will tell lies, but why did he say such things? Why did he tell you a lie and not anyone else? Therefore, you must be guilty; you must have made a mistake sometime in the past life. The fruition of our karma is verily the mistake.

Questioner: But how should I behave here?

Dadashri: This world exists on raagdwesh – attachment-abhorrence. The main cause of all this is raag-dwesh. Why do raagdwesh occur? They occur because one interferes (dakhal) with others. Even if he steals from your home, if you believe that he is a thief then your raag-dwesh will arise. This 8

is because you believe that he is a thief, and that is worldly knowledge. Real alaukik knowledge is not like that. Real knowledge says just one thing and that is, ‘It is fruition of your own karma.’ He took the money due to the fruition of his karma, and the fruition of your karma came together with his. In all that, why are you binding the opinion that he is a thief?

If there is a rabid dog running loose, ‘we’ tell you to be careful and you should immediately close your doors. But if you go around saying this dog has rabies, then you are considered to have formed an opinion.

Questioner: You know, Dada, instead of closing the door because the dog may get into the house, I am likely to react so angrily that I will bang the door and hurt the dog!

Dadashri: This is all laukik worldly knowledge. Lord Mahavir’s alaukik real knowledge says, ‘Do not blame anyone. Do not form opinions about anyone. Do not have any kind of bhaav inner intent towards anyone.

The world is flawless.’ When You know and experience this, You will be liberated. You will attain liberation when you have drashti the vision and ‘see,’ ‘Every living being in this world is nirdosh flawless, and I alone am the one with mistakes doshit. I am bound by my own mistakes.’

One sees faults in others through flawed vision Lord Mahavir has seen the world as nirdosh flawless. I too do not see anyone as doshit with mistakes. Whether one puts a garland around my neck or curses me, no one is doshit. “The world is flawless.” It is because of mayavi drashti illusionary vision that one sees faults in others. The mistake lies only in this viewpoint.

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Who is at fault where one suffers his own karma

The world is in the form of worldly interactions

When a philanthropist makes a donation, people will say, ‘He is so generous and nice; he is giving donations!’ Whereas the Lord says, ‘Why do you feel so happy in this? He is enjoying the fruition of his karma.

Even the recipient of that donation is enjoying the fruition of his own karma. Why are you needlessly getting in the middle? A thief steals; he too is suffering the fruition of his karma.

The entire world is suffering vedey its own karma only.’

This world is not in the form of justice; it is in the form of worldly interactions. The Lord has said not to seek justice otherwise buddhi the intellect will become deluded and spoilt. Look at the vyavahar worldly interactions but do not look for justice in it.

This means you should not be looking for justice in vyavahar. Whatever the vyavahar, it is what it is. You have to understand this much.

From the moment ‘we’ have seen you and known you, ‘our’ opinion about you will never change. Then whatever you do; it is all dependent upon the fruition of your own karma.

The worldly life will remain as long as one cannot see his own mistakes and sees mistakes in others. As long as this vision continues, so will the worldly life. When one does not see a single mistake in others and sees all his own mistakes, then know that his time has come for moksha. That is it! This is the only difference in the vision!

That you see mistakes in others is really the mistake of your vision. This is because all living beings are under the authority and realm of some other entity; they do not have any independent authority. They are all dependant on their own karma. They are constantly suffering their own karma. In all that, no one is at fault. The one who understands this will go to moksha. But if one begins to justify things with his intellect, he will remain entrenched here. If he tries to weigh things according to worldly justice, he will remain entrenched in the worldly life.

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Once this fan was running at full speed and ‘we’ asked someone to reduce the speed, not being aware that the speed regulator was not working. When they informed ‘us’ that the fan could not run any slower, ‘we’ immediately understood that the fan’s vyavahar was as it is so why bother looking to change it?

Whatever vyavahar there is with children at home, accept it as it is. Why go looking for justice there? If a woman’s husband gives her a hard time, should she divorce him? Worldly interactions are this way, why do you look for justice in that?

People become trapped when they look for justice. Vyavahar will keep unfolding and you will get exactly what you have brought with you from your past life. Justice will tell you, ‘He should be like this or like that.’

Who is the justice for? Justice (natural justice, not worldly justice) is for those who understand and accept, ‘I am the one at fault, the mistake is mine’, and it is there to help them break that mistake. For the one who believes, ‘I never make mistakes’ there is vyavahar to make them understand. Justice is common law. Those who want liberation will have to proceed by looking at justice, 9

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what is right and what is wrong. Those who care nothing about attaining liberation and want to remain in the worldly life, have nothing to do with this common law. Justice is the thermometer (gauge). All one has to do is to check to see what is just and what is unjust. If you remain within the natural laws of justice, you will attain a higher birth and if you violate it, you will go lower.

Gnani’s amicable worldly interaction Questioner: Dada when one experiences turmoil and agitation within, is that because of contempt?

Dadashri: It happens because you did not deal with that particular vyavahar in an amicable manner in the past. ‘We’ may be rebuking someone in this vyavahar but there is no selfish motive on ‘our’ part, so ‘our’ vyavahar is amicable and pleasant and the result is wonderful. But if someone rebukes with selfish motives or for reasons of partiality, then the result is bitter. ‘Our’ vyavahar is very attractive and pleasant. ‘We’ get credit for everything without doing anything. Things start to change for the better wherever ‘we’ go; this is the sign of ‘our’ amicable vyavahar from the past life. But now all that remains is to erase whatever vyavahar, good or bad, that unfolds for you. Where is the need to start a new vyavahar now? Now all you have to do is remain the knower and the seer and be in eternal bliss.

Now, if someone comes to ‘us’ and complains about his son, ‘we’ would tell him, ‘Whatever is taking place is verily justice.’ Such justice is the exact thermometer (gauge).

Actually whatever is happening is real justice; whatever happens, is precisely what ‘we’ call vyavasthit. So why look for justice or injustice there?

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Minding one’s own affairs This world is a huge trap and not even an ounce of it belongs to you. The house in which you live is yours only if you pay rent for it. If a sparrow has built a little nest in your house, do you think she thinks of you as her landlord? No, she thinks it as her own house because she too lives in that house. A lizard on your wall too thinks the house belongs to her. Every living being has a claim of ownership of this world.

The Lord said, “Everyone should mind their own affairs. I will take care of my own.”

There was a group of milkmen who lived and worked together but they cooked their own meals. They had set up a camp in an open ground. Each one of them had their own special cooking clay pot in which they cooked khichadee (rice and lentil). They put their cooking pot over a fire between three stones and left their khichadee to cook slowly before they went to town to sell their goods, leaving one person in charge. When they returned in the evening, one of the milkmen could not remember where he put his cooking pot; he could not find it. He could not remember which tree he had set his cooking pot under. He thought for a while and decided that if he picked up the wrong one, others would think he was strange so he pondered a little. He then picked up a large stone and called out, ‘I am going to break open my cooking pot; please take care of your own pots.’ All the other men reached out for their own pots and he found his!

We need to take care of our own ‘cooking pots’ as we proceed in this worldly life. This worldly life is like people traveling on a boat, each one will go his own way when the shore comes. And yet you say, ‘I can’t live without her!’ How will you make progress December 2008

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if you take this approach to life? All relationships are unfolding of karmic accounts of past life; how long can you go on living like this? Why this interference (why create new accounts)? There is nothing to give and nothing to take. All you need is a little food for your sustenance, so why take the weight of the world on your shoulders? And when you fall sick, no one will come to ask after you. You will have to take care of yourself. Did you not know from the start that all these relationships are temporary? We can do everything for them if they were real, but these are all temporary and relative relationships and there is no telling when they will fracture. If relationships were real, then if a father dies, the son too would die with him. Do you think anyone in the city of Mumbai dies this way? No, no one does.

So should you not realize from the beginning that all these relationships are relative?

Furthermore, you should not be rigid in these relationships; you could afford to do so in a real relationship. But what is the point of hanging on to relationships that may break anytime? So know from the start that all this is relative, and concentrate on your own accounts.

Worldly interactions are only discharge In your worldly interactions, you should conduct yourself as though you are an actor in a play. Internally you should remain detached from the situation. Do everything that you have to do, but without any emotional involvement.

A mother who hugs her child dearly may do so to the point of smothering and naturally the child becomes irritated. It is the ignorant that display such possessive behavior. Whereas the Gnani Purush remains detached from all worldly interactions and so everyone remains happy with him.

From the Gnani’s perspective, it is a December 2008

worldly matter when a girl gets married and it is also a worldly matter when she becomes a widow. It is not real. Both the situations are relative and no one has the ability to change them. People agonize over the death of their young son-in-law. They become so distraught that they have to seek medical help. All such emotions and reactions are due to attachment and abhorrence. It is all because people have not understood worldly life as worldly life and nothing else; they have not understood that the worldly life is temporary.

You may have to scold your child and at times you may even have to say something to your wife. But you should do so in a makebelieve way, as if you are an actor in a play, without any emotional involvement from within.

All this is superfluous just as one performs a role in a drama, however one believes, ‘I am doing all the actions,’ and that is the wrong belief. This is superfluous. This is not worth holding in the mind. This is not worth taking a photograph in chit. This is superfluous. That is why we are saying that we have given ‘this’ Gnan to you, You stay in ‘home departmentthe Self’, that is your room and remain superfluous in the ‘foreign-the non-Self’ department. All this vyavahar is of the foreign department. The vyavahar that you see, the vyavahar considered by all, is foreign – of the non-Self. And it is relative, all the relative is vyavahar only, the real is only nischaya— the Self, it is a fact, it is real.

When the worldly duties are performed with awareness then it is said that one has progressed. You may say in vyavahar that ‘he is my son’, however such is not the result in operation within, there is no such result within. Atma—the Self cannot be anybody’s son; can the Self become a son or a father?

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awareness. You can converse in worldly interactions, but it should be like acting in a drama and you should have inner awareness that no one is a father of anybody and no one is a son of anybody. He is verily the Soul, I too am the Soul-Self. You should have such awareness. You should keep seeing Shuddhatma—pure Soul in everybody. What else you need to do in this? You cannot bring other worldly interactions in between. Other worldly interactions are to carry out worldly duties. If you want to attain moksha— liberation, then no one is your son or daughter.

If you want to stay in sansar worldly life then son and daughter are yours only.

different collections in the museum. You cannot take anything with you when you leave. This world is a museum that you have entered.

There is a problem only if you touch things or try to take things out of it. Then one will say, ‘Sir, the problem is only when I carry it out physically, is it not?’ No, the law says, you cannot carry it out even in your mind and not with your speech either. Do not take anything out. Yet, you are free to enjoy it all. Is there anything wrong with this law?

The rules in a museum

Dadashri: Museums are always like that. But when the law is such that you cannot take anything with you, then what? Do you have a custom of taking things away with you in your town?

What causes one to have mamata? It is caused by the tendency to be worldly (sansari swabhav). This tendency to be worldly is binding. This binding, the feeling of ‘my-ness’ is mamata. For that matter has the intellect done anything less? The world has been made wonderful through the intellect and I am telling you not to get trapped; not to become attached to it. You may eat, drink and enjoy but do not get trapped and yet people get attached. Do not get attached. Enjoy it and go to sleep!

What is this world? It is the largest museum! It is a museum just like the one we have in Baroda. What are the rules when you enter a museum with your ticket? The conditions are ‘Go in, take your time and observe; and enjoy as much and for as long as you want to. Eat and drink as much as you want to, if and when you want. You can enjoy doing all that in the museum. But you cannot take anything with you when you leave. If you do, you will be guilty and incur a liability.’

Then why would you want to mess with anything once you enter in? Just enjoy the 12

Questioner: But this ‘museum’ is such that it gives rise to all kinds of lalacha covetousness.

Questioner: No. Dadashri: Then why do you fret and worry in this way? Simply ‘see’ and ‘know’ (joovo ane jaano)! When the Alphanso mango arrives, enjoy it at leisure. Enjoy them.

There is no problem. Turn on the fan, turn on the air conditioner, sit peacefully and enjoy your mangos. But you cannot take them with you and you must not worry about anything.

So the whole world is a museum where you can eat, drink and enjoy. People do not know how to enjoy. They eat as if there is a dagger hanging over their head (under stress). Darn your eating! The heck with it all! If you are afraid of the dagger, before you sit down to eat, tell the dagger, ‘fall whenever you want to. I am sitting here to eat.’ Such is the state of everyone; they sit to dine with the weight of a dagger hanging overhead. And you can see it on their faces. Do you not see their castoroil-ingested faces?

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Questioner: Yes. Dadashri: So eat and drink whatever you like. Enjoy your comforts. Women are not the problem, either. Do not get married if possible, but if you do, keep it as a worldly relation; understand that it is a temporary state.

Do not get married thinking and believing she is yours forever. People marry as if the relationship is going to last forever. Do they not?

Questioner: Yes, they do!

Dadashri: Now, You (mahatma, the one who has taken Gnan) get married and so do others. Others say ‘my wife, my wife, my wife…’ whereas You understand that You are settling the account of that file (of the wife) with equanimity, because You have taken the Gnan. But are you able to take anything with you even though you have claimed it as yours by saying, ‘mine…mine?’ Has anyone been able to do so?

Questioner: No, no one has so far.

Dadashri: So if there is no allowance and agreement of taking anything with you, then why this unnecessary hassle? So do not take anything from this ‘museum of the world’ even if you like it a lot. If you do, you will have to suffer the consequences. But instead people put things in their pockets and they try to sneak out from the other side. Then they have to face the consequences of their actions when they are caught in their next life. So do not take anything; enjoy everything but do not make it ‘mine’. Can you say ‘this is mine’ to anything in the museum?

Traffic laws prevent accidents When you cross a busy road, you are very cautious in order to prevent an accident.

Exercise similar caution in your daily life December 2008

interactions with others. Your resolve should not be to hurt anyone regardless of how hateful or wicked the person may be. Despite your caution the other person may still clash with you and you will be hurt. In all clashes both parties suffer. If you hurt anyone you will inevitably suffer pain at that moment. I am giving you the example of the reason behind traffic regulations. If you cause an accident, because collisions can be fatal, you might end up being killed. So do not clash with anyone.

In the same way, do not create conflict in any worldly life interactions, because there are always risks involved. Besides, conflict only occurs occasionally, it is not as if it happens two hundred times a month, is it? How often does it happen in a month for you?

Questioner: Perhaps two to four times.

Dadashri: These need to be resolved.

Why do we want to spoil events by clashes?

This simply does not suit us. People abide traffic laws, which are strict regulations; they don’t drive according to their own interpretations do they? They are therefore saved from accidents. Likewise in daily life you must follow the laws that prevent clashes.

Clashes occur because you follow your own laws and interpretations. There is never any difficulty with the way the traffic runs because all obey the laws. If you apply the same rule with understanding, you will never run into difficulties again. The problems arise because of your own limited interpretations of the laws of life. There is a fundamental error in understanding the laws of life. The one who explains these laws must be one who has a thorough experience of these laws.

Look at how well you observe traffic rules. It is because you have made a firm decision to abide by them. Why is your ego not telling you to disregard these laws?

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Questioner: He may give a traffic ticket payable by fine.

Dadashri: It is because you understand with your intellect that you might injure yourself or even be killed. This is what you can experience with your senses. The intellect however, fails to make you realize the possibility of a fatal outcome from engaging in conflict with someone, because it is beyond your sense perception in this life. This is very subtle matter and the damage it causes is also subtle.

How can you be called a man, if you do not know how to adjust? Those who adjust to their circumstances will not have any conflicts at home. I used to adjust to Hiraba. If you want to enjoy the benefit of your wife’s company, you must adjust. Otherwise, you will create enmity. Each living being is independent and is looking for happiness. He is not here to give happiness to others. In his quest for worldly happiness if he encounters sorrow instead of happiness, he will create enmity; regardless of who gets in his way, be it his wife, his children or his family.

Questioner: If he has come in search of happiness and instead he finds unhappiness, does he create enmity?

Dadashri: Yes. Whether it is for a brother or a father, he will generate enmity from within. This is how the world is. In the path of liberation, (swadharma, atmadharma, Spirituality of the Soul), one cannot create enmity with anyone.

Learn the art of taking adjustment with difficult people Questioner: One-sided adjustments are not possible in this world. Is that right?

Dadashri: The very definition of ideal 14

worldly life is adjustment. Even the neighbors will notice and say, ‘There is conflict in every household except this one!’ Your energies have to be cultivated especially with those who you do not get along with. These energies are already present with people you get along with.

Inability to adjust is a weakness. Why is it possible for me to get along with everyone?

The more you adjust, the more your energies will increase and your weaknesses will diminish.

Right understanding prevails only when all the wrong understandings are demolished.

Everyone gets along with easy-going and goodnatured people but when you learn to get along with difficult, stubborn and harsh personalities, you have truly accomplished something. No matter how brazen and shameful a person is, if you know how to adjust without losing your mind, it is well worth it. Losing your temper is useless. Nothing in this world will ‘fit’ you.

However, if you ‘fit’ into it, the world will be good. If you attempt to make it ‘fit’ you, it will be ‘crooked.’ Adjust everywhere. As long as you ‘fit’ into it, there will be no problems.

Questioner: Many times, we have to adjust with two people at the same time and concerning the same matter. How can we deal with that all at once?

Dadashri: You can deal with both. Even if you had to adjust to seven people, you could still do it. If one asks, ‘What have you done for me?’ Your reply should be, ‘Yes, I will do what you want me to.’ To another person you simply repeat the same thing. Nothing will happen outside vyavasthit—scientific circumstantial evidences. Do not need to create conflict. Adjustment is the key. With ‘yes’ there is liberation. Is anything going to happen outside vyavasthit if you say, “Yes” to seven such people? If you say, “No” to anyone, there will be problems.

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If the husband and wife both make a firm commitment to adjust, they will find a solution. If one is insistent, the other has to adjust by giving in. One man’s hand was hurting, but he was not telling anybody. He took an adjustment by massaging with it with his other hand. If you adjust this way then you can get a solution.

If you do not adjust you can become insane. Repeated harassment of others is the reason for this insanity. If you provoke a dog once, twice or even thrice, he will still heed you, but if you keep annoying him, he will bite you. Even the dog starts to think of you as a bad person. This is worth understanding. Do not provoke anyone. Adjust everywhere.

The one, who has learnt the art of adjustment, has found the path of eternal bliss.

Adjustment made is Gnan. This will be one’s triumph. You will have to suffer whatever suffering comes your way, but the person who has learnt to adjust will not have any problems.

He will settle his previous accounts. If you encounter a robber and you “disadjust”, he will beat you up. Instead you should simply adjust and get your work done by saying, ‘Friend what do you want? I am on a pilgrimage and do not have a lot of money.’ In so doing, you have adjusted to him.

All these are relative relationships The relation with a mother is a relative relation; it is not a real relation. One has blood relation with a mother and the other one is a neighbor relation, however both are relative relations. Relative means that his relation with you will depend upon how you relate to him.

I asked a man, ‘you did not learn how to take care of the relationship with your wife?’ Then he says to me, ‘I thought that my relation with her is a real one.’ I said, ‘how December 2008

can you have a real relationship with the wife?

You do not have a real relation with even this body, then how can you have real relations with those who are related to this body?’ So all this relations are relative relations. What is the meaning of relation that is relative? It means that if you have a need for a wife, then even if she keeps tearing away at the relationship, you will have to keep mending it throughout the night. If you tear and she also tears then what will happen in the morning?

Questioner: Divorce.

Dadashri: So if she keeps tearing away then you should keep mending over the whole night. Otherwise the relation will not remain in the morning. What is the meaning of relative?

It means to ‘mend’. If one tears then the other has to keep mending it. So both will have to take care. Then he asks, ‘how should I mend it?’ I said, “see, if she is thinking a lot about you the whole night that ‘you are very bad, you are very bad’, then you should say the whole night that ‘she is good, she is very good. I am the one who is at the fault, however she is very good’.” So relations will be fixed in the morning. If she starts tearing away again in the morning, then you should mend it. If she says ‘you are bad’ and if you say ‘she is bad’ then it will break. So if you want to reconcile with her then if she keeps tearing away then you will have to keep mending it. What do you need to improve?

The relationship that is real. To attain that, you should be ready to let a hundred life times pass, because it is the worthwhile goal.

However, this is a relative relationship, this relationship has unfolded to finish the account of previous life, once this account is settled, then everything will fall off and she will not meet you again. Where is the need to take the trouble to improve her?

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Improve your self only Questioner: Is it not possible to improve my wife if, in all situation, I accept that it is all my own mistake?

Dadashri: You have to improve yourself if you want to improve others. No one can be improved. Those who try to do so are all egotistic. If you improve yourself, the other person will improve without fail. I have even seen men who have set out to improve others and yet their own wife or mother had no respect for them. What kind of men are these?

First improve yourself. It is wrong egoism to say or believe that you can improve others.

When you yourself have no worth, what are you going to do for others? It is necessary for you to become wise first.

Questioner: Prakruti (a person’s inherent characteristics, tendencies, personality etc.) cannot be improved but shouldn’t worldly interactions improve?

Dadashri: People do not understand the nature of worldly interaction. It is enough if people had known this even for half an hour.

What is right worldly interaction? Superficial.

Right worldly interaction does not mean insisting on the truth. People believe that insistence on the truth is right worldly interaction. This is all relative and temporary. This type of behavior is of no importance when it comes to salvation and real freedom. Stop fretting and get your work done. Worldly interaction means returning what was given. If someone says, you do not have any sense, then we should realize that it is pay back time of what we gave to him in the past life. If you understand this principle, then you have understood right worldly interaction. Right now nobody has right worldly interaction. The one who has understood right worldly interaction is free.

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‘I will improve her this way, and that way,’ is egoism. This solution of yours is detrimental. This is not the solution. This is one kind of egoism. What ‘we’ are saying is that first you improve. You verily are the spoilt one, she is already improved.

It is because you label everything as good or bad that you are harassed so. Make both the good and the bad equal. If you call this good, the other becomes bad and it will bother you. But if you mix the two together, you will not be affected. Adjust everywhere, is a principle that I have discovered. Adjust with the one who is telling the truth and also with the one who is not. If someone tells me, ‘You have no sense,’ I would tell him, ‘I never had any to begin with. Why have you come looking for it now? You discovered this just now but I have always known this.’ If you say this, there will be no conflict. He will not come to you again looking for sense. If you do not do this, when will you ever reach your home, liberation?

The science of adjustment Questioner: What is the intention behind this adjustment and to what extent do we have to adjust?

Dadashri: The intention is peace and the goal is peace. This is the key to avoid unhappiness. It is Dada’s science of adjustment. This adjustment is remarkable.

You know what happens whenever you misadjust. This maladjustment is foolish.

Adjustment is justice. Any kind of obstinacy (adherence to one’s viewpoint) is not justice.

I never force my viewpoint regarding any matter. I will use whatever water I have to, in order to cook the beans. Ultimately I may even use the water from the gutter to cook the beans.

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Even if you know very little in this world, it is not a major problem. You may have very little knowledge about your field of work. Even that is all right, but it is essential that you know how to adjust. You have to learn this otherwise you will suffer. Take advantage of this message and make the most of it.

Worldly life changes through ideal interaction You should make your interaction filled with harmony at home. In your home your wife will feel that she will not be able to find another husband like this anywhere, and the husband will feel that he will never get a wife like her. When this happens your life together has been worth living.

Your interactions should be ideal.

Kashayas will arise if you become smallminded in your interactions. This life is like a tiny boat. Enjoy as much of it as you can while you are in it but realize that with this boat, you have to get to the other shore. If you think it is right then do according to this, or else do whatever you like. I am not forcing you. I explain to you that if you follow this way then your life will be very pleasant and God will reside at your home and you will have prosperity.

Initially one has to learn these vyavahar worldly interactions. People are taking beatings because they lack this understanding of these worldly interactions.

The Lord says this much; do not create obstacles for anybody in worldly interactions.

If someone asks you to ‘wait’ and if you do not respond then what will happen?

You have to understand all these other talks. If you understand each and every electrical point in a power line then you will December 2008

not have any trouble. Otherwise instead of the light, the fan will turn on and instead of the fan the light will turn on.

The understanding that the Gnani gives you will liberate you. What can you possibly achieve without the understanding? The religion of the Vitarag Lords will liberate you from all miseries. No one has talked about this vyavahar worldly interactions. Without having such understanding worldly interactions can never improve. You will attain liberation if vyavahar improves, otherwise how will you attain liberation? One needs to be free from tension, stress and worries.

Spiritual development through conflicts This, the worldly life, is all a temporary adjustment. Just as children play with toys, the whole world too is playing with ‘toys’. One does not do anything for the benefit of the Self; one continues to live in dukha pain of dependency and continues to clash and stumble. Infinite energies of the Self are fractured because of gharshan inner conflict and sangharshan reactive clash.

If ever the energy of the Self is used up, it is because of conflict. If you react to conflicts at all, that is the end of it. You should maintain equanimity when another person gets into conflict with you. Reaction to a conflict as takaraman clash must not occur. You should never get into conflict with anyone at all, even if it comes at the cost of you losing your physical self.

The whole world is immersed in conflict and reaction to conflict. On the day of Diwali, the festival of lights, everyone decides they do not want any conflict for that day. Everyone wears good clothes and gets wonderful food to eat; everything is good that day. Wherever you go, people welcome you in their homes; 21

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such is the love they show. Love will be present if there is no sangharshan. There is no need to look at right or wrong. Worldly intellect will definitely be useful in worldly interactions, and it is already adjusted to be that way; it is the extra and excessive buddhi that causes sangharshan reaction to conflicts.

Solutions through common sense What does one need for worldly interactions in order to become shuddha pure?

Complete common sense is needed. Patience and depth of understanding is needed.

Common sense in worldly interactions is needed. Common sense means ‘everywhere applicable.’ If there is common sense along with Self-realization, everything will become beautiful.

Questioner: How does common sense arise?

Dadashri: Common sense will arise when one does not get into conflicts with anyone, even if the other person is seeking to clash and cause conflicts. And he lives his life in this way. And he should not clash with anyone; otherwise, common sense will go away. There should be no friction from his side.

Bring about settlement Questioner: Fear of husband, fear of future does not allow me to take adjustment.

At that time I do not remember that, ‘who am I to improve him?’ and I end up speaking with a provocative tone.

Dadashri: If you apply the Agna of ‘vyavasthit—scientific circumstantial evidence’, if ‘vyavasthit’ fits you then you will not have any problem. Then nothing will remain worth asking. When your husband comes home, set the lunch plate on the table and tell him, ‘let’s 22

have a lunch!’ His prakruti—the non-Self complex, will not change. That prakruti which you selected and got married to; that prakruti you have to ‘see’ until the end. Didn’t you know from the day one that this prakruti is like this only? You should have got separated from it, that very same day. Why did you get tainted with his prakruti? You do not gain anything from quarreling in this worldly life, you loose only. Quarreling means clashing!

That is why God has called this kashaya: the sins of anger-pride-deceit-greed.

Why is the religion of a householder the best?

Questioner: Why is the gruhasthi dharma religion of a householder (a family man) considered the best? Which bhakti devotion is true, is it when one is doing bhakti while involved in family life or while doing it as a tyagi an ascetic?

Dadashri: The bhakti devotion of a tyagi renouncer is good if he has not hurt anyone in the family in the process of renunciation and they are living happy life.

But if someone stands to get hurt in becoming a tyagi then it is better to do bhakti staying in family life. You should provide sustenance for everybody, should you not? Your wife and children will keep hope for your support, will they not? They will look for shelter. So you have to give them support. You cannot leave them unsheltered. When everybody in the family willingly tells you that, ‘no, no. If you take renunciation then we do not have any problem. We are not hurt,’ then there is no problem. Otherwise doing bhakti staying in the house is a true bhakti. Then it is the best thing. Nothing is better than that. But when it is said that you have done a true devotion or have followed a religion? It is when your family members do not get hurt December 2008

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by you. You may get hurt through them but they should not get hurt by you, that is true devotion.

Why is gruhastha dharma a religion of the married man or woman with a family considered the best? This is a religion where critical testing is done. Tyagis the renouncers, do not have test-trials or tribulations at all. No income-tax, no sales-tax, no rent, no money, nothing at all. And we have to maintain samata equanimity staying amidst everybody, that is why it is considered the best. This will bring the problems which test these human beings.

One should become tested. If you ask a tyagi a renouncer, ‘get married for a month and see.’ He will not stay even for a month after getting married. He will go back. This is because his wife will ask him, ‘bring lentils today, bring some sugar today.’ He will not understand where to get these things so he will run away. If he has financial trouble, he will not like that too, he will run away immediately. Therefore religion of a family life is the best.

Relations are verily temporary One man introduced me to his fatherin-law one day. After six months I met his father-in-law, so I asked him, ‘are you the father-in-law of that person?’ He says, ‘why would I be his father-in-law?’ Then I started thinking that I made a mistake, I made a mistake in understanding. Then I said, ‘why?’ Then he says, ‘my daughter took a divorce, now why would I be his father-in-law?’

Now why does divorce happen in that which essentially requires temporary adjustments? This is because people do not live their life as one family. If we were on a pilgrimage and we encounter a very difficult person, do we not take the necessary steps to December 2008

avoid conflict and altercation with him? What do you think?

Questioner: That is right.

Dadashri: Similarly you have to take care for fifty to sixty years.

This world is hollow-without substance.

Yet if you do not say anything in relative interaction at a funeral, then he may feel hurt.

No one has jumped on a funeral pyre after going to pay respects to the departed loved one. All family members will come back, everybody is so wise and yet deceit filled (dahya damra). His mother will also come back crying.

Questioner: Besides she will beat the chest in mourning on his name that he did not leave anything behind for her. And if he left two lakh rupees then she will not speak anything.

Dadashri: Yes, she will do like that.

This is just that he did not leave (money or property) anything that is why she cries, that ‘he is dead and ruined my life’ she will speak thus inside too. He did not leave anything and ruined my life too. Now he did not leave because that woman’s merit karma punyai was deficient that is why he could not leave.

However he had to suffer the abuse so he suffered the abuse too. She would curse him.

Besides when people come and ask her that did not your husband leave anything for you?

Then again she will say ‘no, no he has arranged everything for me. In a way I have everything for sustenance.’ Now she will speak in front of everybody like this and she will speak in her mind like the reverse. So what is the fact behind this?

What is the nature of worldly life?

This world is truly like that; it will let 23

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you down in the hour of your need. A daughterin-law will massage her mother-in-law’s feet everyday, but when the daughter-in-law has a stomachache, the mother-in-law will tell her to take some ajwain seeds! Everyone will give such suggestions but will the mother-in-law take on the pain of the daughter-in-law? Tell me, for that matter does your husband or children take on your pain? This world is such that it works the bullock until it becomes crippled and then they will take it to a slaughterhouse.

As long as the father earns money, they have affection for him and when he stops working, they will tell him to sit on one side. They will even tell him he has no sense. This is what the world is like! The entire worldly life is one big betrayal. If there were any good in it, would this Dada not say, ‘This much of it is real and worthwhile’? However, in reality it is nothing but a betrayal. Nothing in this worldly life can ever be truly yours. Everyone is a living ‘top’ (spinning toy); they will never let you be in peace. Oh, even if you want to come to this satsang and do darshan, they will not let you.

So the fact that they do let you come is very good.

one has to win the family. Therefore should not we take caution? Mind one’s own affair.

What will you have moha attachment for? Fake gold?! You can afford to have attachment if it were real but truly all worldly relationships are like the relationship between a seller and a buyer. Customers will pay only if the goods are of good quality. If you were to fight just one hour with your husband, your relationship will break down, how can you have attachment for such relationships?

Dadashri: You have never fulfilled vyavahar dharma at all. Vyavahar always should be ideal. The person, who loses, misses nischaya the state of the Self, then his vyavahar is not considered vyavahar. One should keep nischaya in nischaya and vyavahar in vyavahar (keep the real as real and the relative as relative) and that is called ideal vyavahar. I remain in ideal vyavahar the whole day. If you go and ask around then everybody will say, about Hiraba and Dadashri, ‘they never had quarrel at all. They never had shouted. They have never been angry at anybody.’ If everybody says like this in neighborhood then is it not considered ideal vyavahar?

This sansar worldly life is perpetuated because of only the family members and not anybody else. One does not know how to take benefit from home. This is just the association of five-six people. Really speaking one does not have to win the whole world, 24

So what is this in reality? All these family members are ours from the relative view point. And they are not ours from the real view point. This body is also a relative view point.

The determination of ideal worldly interaction So Gnan is the real thing. This is the exact Gnan. This is shukladhyan pure meditation as the Self. In that ‘see’ it as it is.

And this is not a mother-in-law or a daughterin-law, this is not mami (mother’s brother’s wife), and this is not kaki (father’s brother’s wife), there is no problem to have worldly interaction with them, but it is a mistake if you interact with them as if they are real. People live as if all these relatives are for real, do they not?

Questioner: But we have to fulfill our vyavahar dharma relative worldly duties, don’t we?

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Questioner: Yes, it is.

Dadashri: And what if we go around and ask about you? Will they say that you have not raised your voice ever?

Questioner: No. Dadashri: So then you ruined vyavahar too and nischaya too. You have to conduct only this much vyavahar that you became a father so do not run errands for the son, otherwise your son will feel bad.

And if you are a son then for the son, he has to carry out this much vyavahar that he has to run errands for his father otherwise it will look bad for him. One should not miss such discrimination in vyavahar worldly interaction.

Be wise and understand this much The world is not useless, but we need to know how to extract use from it. All beings are divine and each person has his or her own duty to fulfill. So do not harbor any dislike for anyone.

Everybody have children, but they are from the worldly relative view. Would anyone’s child be real for him? Why are you not speaking? If your relationship with your son were real then you should take care of him all the way. There is no problem even if you get into clashes, but is he your son in real? So your son is permanent, he is yours only, isn’t he?

Questioner: It does not happen like that at all.

Dadashri: However there is no telling when he may revolt. So all this will discharge according to each one’s unfolding karma effect.

One will say that we have so much December 2008

harmony in our life that we will never be separated. I told, ‘write down an agreement, get signature from both the parties and bring it to me.’ As long as money comes and goes easily it is all right. What will happen if there is a shortage of money? This person will say, ‘you ruined it.’ Then that other person will say, ‘was I doing it for me? I was doing for everybody.’ ‘But you ruined all this, you do not have sense.’ Proceed with caution to maintain the unity and harmony in the family and when he grows up, you should get separated. Because there is law, boundary, limitation to maintain harmony. Otherwise after quarreling you have to become separated.

Then you will not see each other’s face. Instead when the popcorn starts popping, take the plate of the burner. If not all these corn seeds (human beings) will keep exploding, ruining relationships.

Proceed with caution in worldly life One cannot attain liberation without having purity in worldly interactions. Interactions with worldly relations must be pure, ideal.

People in Satyug had habit of staying with unity. This is because there was no problem at all in Satyug. People would follow according to the dictates of the grandfather. But in this current time, would any living being remain straightforward? Rather it is better that everyone live separately. This is because everyone has ego and it will not stay without clashing. You will enjoy when you have clash, will you not? When you get into clash, you get into lots of arguments. When you have intense arguments, you get angry and then you get into clash. So it is better to have everything in normality. You should get your work of liberation accomplished. Why am I teaching this?

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Questioner: To get the work done of the Self (liberation).

Dadashri: You should do everything for your children. But, some parents do not stop, even when their children tell them that they have done enough. Understand that it is a signal for you to stop when the children themselves tell you so.

A day will come when your son may want to start a business and you should help him. It would not be wise for you to get too involved in his business. He may even get a job, in which case he may not need your help.

Then you should keep aside whatever money you had planned to give him. If he runs into any difficulties, you should give him some money. But, if you keep interfering with his life, it may aggravate him and force him to tell you to stay out of his business. Some fathers take this to mean that his son is not mature and that he does not know what he says. I tell the fathers they should consider themselves blessed for becoming free from this responsibility. He says himself not to interfere.

Even neighbors would say that father keeps interfering in son’s life. And if father does not help to find him a job then the same neighbor will say, ‘father keeps laying in bed for no reason.’ Will they say like that or not? So you should keep aside whatever you have, but you should not become merciless for him. If he says, ‘I need to have ten thousand rupees,’ ‘then you should give him twenty-five hundred.’

Otherwise after taking ten thousand rupees he will not come back to you. And after taking the ten thousand rupees he will waste three thousand rupees. So if he is demanding a lot then you should give him only twenty-five hundred. So you should live life systematically.

It is worth understanding this vyavahar worldly interaction.

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Even in this vyavahar is in vyavahar and kevel absolute is in absolute. Everybody distributed their own shares then there is no fight at all. These quarrels are because of the lack of the appropriate allocated distribution.

People have grabbed onto what does not belong to them. Alas the poor fellows grab and hold on, due to lack of understanding, and the entire worldly suffering is because of that. And furthermore, he has the weight of what he has held onto, and takes more beating because of it. Hey you! This load is not on your head! It all goes on this horse for sure.

Yet, he moves about holding it on the head.

Such is this world.

This vyavahar is superficial and nischaya the Self is real. Now should one dissolve-neglect that which presents as transient and temporary ooplak? One does not dissolvediscard the surplus amount, no? But in this people have dissolved the surplus amount. They behave this way wherein they have taken this surplus vyavahar the worldly interaction to be real-true. So one definitely needs to understand this.

Adjustment with awkward people!

Questioner: What should we do when we feel that the other person’s understanding is wrong?

Dadashri: All these truths are only for the sake of worldly interactions. Everything is false if you want to go to moksha. You will have to do pratikraman for everything. To think, ‘I am an acharya, (preceptor)’ will also require pratikraman. I have to do pratikraman for thinking of myself as an acharya; pratikraman is necessary because in reality, I am a Soul.

So all this is false, everything is false, December 2008

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are you able to understand this point? It is because a person does not understand this that he says, ‘I am telling the truth!’ If it were the truth then nobody would be able to refute it. When I say something here, does anybody stand up to say anything against it? Is there any controversy? Doesn’t everyone here just keep listening to whatever I say?

Questioner: Yes, they just keep on listening.

Dadashri: Only because there is no dispute right? That is the truth. That speech is the truth and it is Goddess Saraswati herself!

Speech that causes disputes and arguments is wrong, absolutely wrong. If a person insults some speaker and tells him, ‘Just stop talking.

You have no sense,’ then he is wrong and so is the person who had to listen to him and everyone else present in the audience. The whole assembly is wrong.

Questioner: What should we do if our karmas unfold in a way that even when we are speaking the truth, people think we are wrong?

Dadashri: It is never the truth. No man is able to tell the truth. He only tells a lie. Truth is something people will definitely accept. Otherwise it is the truth only according to their own belief and understanding. People will not accept truth that belongs to someone else.

So, whose truth has God called the real truth? It is the speech of the Vitarag Lords.

What is the speech of a Vitarag? It is one which the speaker and his opponent will both accept. That is considered true speech. All other speech is with attachment and abhorrence; all other speech is wrong and false.

It is worthy of imprisonment. There cannot be December 2008

truth in speech associated with attachment or abhorrence. Do you think that there can be any truth in it? Whatever I say here, your Soul will accept. Here there is no dispute. Has there ever been a dispute here? On occasion, a person may have been a little uncertain.

Nobody has ever argued with Dada’s words, because it is purely the talk of the Soul. Can speech with attachment and abhorrence ever be true?

Questioner: No, it can’t be, but can it not be called a form of worldly truth?

Dadashri: Worldly truth means that from the spiritual perspective it is untruth.

Worldly truth means that if it is acceptable to others then it is the truth and if it is not, then it is the untruth. Worldly truth is not really the absolute truth.

Questioner: What if the truth we believe is not acceptable to others?

Dadashri: If it does not fit, then it is false.

Even I say that! If a person does not understand my talks, then I do not consider him or her to be at fault. I say that the fault is mine. I will take it as a mistake on my part, that it is my fault that the other person does not understand me. I would look at it as my own fault. I should know how to explain things.

Therefore, it is never the other person’s fault. It is a dangerous mistake to see faults in others. I never see faults in anyone.

Since they ask so I have to give an answer. And then ‘we’ have to do pratikraman. Truth is defined as that which does not hurt the other person and this is the case if it is said with pratikraman. Now 27

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Subtle discovery of the subtle aspects of worldly interactions

What is shuddha vyavahar—pure worldly interaction? It is when neighbors and everybody say that ‘Chandubhai – one’s relative self’ is a very good man. If you ask the family members, an elderly mother, ‘how is Chandubhai?’ Then even she will say, ‘His nature is very good.’

‘We’ (referring to the Gnani Purush and the fully enlightened Lord within) had done very subtle explorations and research of this sansar worldly life. We are doing all these talks after discovering the final thing. We are giving you the understanding about how to carry out vyavahar worldly interaction and how to attain moksha—ultimate liberation too.

Our aim is to reduce your obstructions.

Kramic, the traditional religious path, means that first you have to purify your worldly interactions and then you become the pure Self. In the Akram path you become the pure Self first and then you make your interactions pure. In pure interaction, there may be interaction of every kind, but there is no attachment in it. Pure interaction begins one or two life times prior to one’s final liberation.

Mine is an ideal worldly interaction. If you ask around, ask Hiraba Dadashri’s wife, she will tell you, ‘He is verily a God’. Despite all this, at one time a person saw a fault of mine in my worldly interaction. He told me, ‘you should have done it this way, this is your fault.’ I replied, ‘brother, you just found out today, but I have known from the very childhood that this—Ambalal is filled with errors.’ Then he countered, ‘no, you were not like this in your childhood, you have become like this now.’ So therefore, all this is seen through individual angles and understandings.

Hence, I always expose myself readily that I have had these deficiencies from the very beginning. This prevents collision and saves the time of the other person. And his suffering is prevented.

Nischaya, The state of the Self, is unaffected by interaction. Where any interaction does not touch, that is nischaya. Fulfill your worldly interactions to the point where it does not affect nischaya, regardless of what that interaction may be.

Awakened awareness in daily life

truth satya that is not associated with pratikraman is not truth at all. This worldly truth is untruth with respect to the Self, the real view point.

There is a difference between a clear, right interaction and pure interaction. That which keeps an interaction good is called manavdharma (religion of humanity) and pure interaction takes you to moksha. When you do not quarrel at home or outside, it is considered good interaction. What is an ideal interaction? It is one, which spreads the aura of the worldly self.

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Questioner: Now how can we attain jagruti awakened awareness in daily life?

Dadashri: If you remain clear in vyavahar worldly interaction then you can attain jagruti. If people point finger at you in your vyavahar then you cannot attain jagruti in your vyavahar. If you are a businessman and you open your business one day at 3:00 o’clock, another day at 5:00 o’clock then you cannot get jagruti and your vyavahar is considered being spoilt. There should not be a finger pointer in your vyavahar. Do people point the finger behind you?

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Questioner: No. Dadashri: Therefore in that vyavahar worldly duties, you become vyavaharik practical. If no one points finger at you, then your awareness will increase.

Questioner: Even as a gnatadrashta—knower-seer, I should maintain vyavahar worldly interaction, shouldn’t we?

Dadashri: Vyavahar will happen. It will go on by itself. In the state of gnata-drashta— knower-seer, vyavahar verily will continue.

When one becomes knower-seer means, the real, the Self remains the Self, becomes real (nischaya became nischaya) and relative worldly duties will continue in relative (vyavahar became vyavahar). However concentration will be there all together. This is because Atma—the Self does not have to keep the attention to function in worldly interaction, it is the function of chit (subtle component of vision and knowledge in the inner functioning instrument called antahkaran).

Questioner: But Dada, why is it that sometimes despite having jagruti awakened awareness , when I have to take care of worldly duties then I keep making mistakes in it.

Dadashri: But it should become regular in vyavahar too, shouldn’t it?

Questioner: But why does it break like that?

Dadashri: If you set the jagruti awakened awareness then it will stay for sure.

‘You’ should tell ‘Chandubhai’ that, ‘brother, you should not ruin vyavahar worldly duties, it should be clean. There must not be a complaint against you in the worldly interactions.’

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The ultimate ‘light’ is where not even a single being is hurt in the slightest degree. Even your opponent will be pacified. If you have any opponents, they will say ‘We both have differences of opinion, but at the same time I have a lot of respect towards him’. They will speak in this manner; there is opposition for sure. In the same token, there is opposition everywhere. There will always be opposition.

There is an opposition to the Gnani (356 degrees) as well as the fully enlightened Tirthankara (360 degrees). In the same manner, there is opposition everywhere. Not everyone can see the same viewpoint. Not everyone can come to the same thinking level. This is because for the thinking levels of man there are fourteen lakh yonis (place of conception – birth place). Tell me, how many people can adjust with us? Only certain yoni – levels of thinking – can adjust with us, all cannot adjust with us.

Principle of Akram Science This Akram Vignan does not interfere with your worldly interactive life. All other forms of spiritual knowledge have relative contempt for worldly life. This Science does not offend worldly life interactions in the least bit. It remains within the confines of its ‘reality’ and does not offend anything at all.

That which does not offend vyavahar is verily the siddhantic principle thing. What is siddhant incontrovertible principle? It is that which never goes against the principle. There is not any corner in it which will give any contradiction. That is why this is a real science, a complete science. This science does not scorn the worldly life interactions to the slightest extent! ~ Jai Sat Chit Anand 29

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A grand 101st Anniversary celebrations of the absolutely revered Dadashri in Ahmedabad (Gujarat, India) The magnificent ceremony for the 101st Anniversary celebrations of Gnani Purush Dadashri took place from October 30th to November 13th 2008. Dadanagar specially constructed for this celebration was very divine like a celestial world. Approximately 5000 Mahatmas had given their services very heartily and devotedly. On October 30th Pujya Deepakbhai had commenced the grand celebration by kindling an auspicious lamp at 5:30 pm and opened it for general public.

Pujya Deepakbhai had given a special message that ‘we have to see everyone in real view as Shuddhatma – pure Soul and in relative we have to keep positive vision. By staying in five Agnas we have to wash away our own faults by doing pratikraman.’ Following this about four hundred and fifty students from different schools had performed a beautiful welcome-song and folkdances representing seven continents of the world expressing the strong deep inner intent of Dadashri for the salvation of the world. Pujya Deepakbhai had expressed his hearty feelings that people from Ahmedabad, Gujarat as well as all around the world should take a full benefit of this Akram Science, and for the most part it was successful. At the end arati - lamp waving ceremony was done for Lord Simandhar Swami and absolutely revered Gnani Purush Dadashri by every spiritual aspirant and mahatma carrying lamp in their hands and entire environment had turned divine.

Satsang hall was constructed over an area of 1.25 lakh square feet on university ground, Ahmedabad. From October 31st to November 7th Pujya Deepakbhai’s satsang programs were scheduled on different topics everyday morning and evening. Mahatmas from Gujarat and various parts of India had attended spiritual retreat from 8th to 12th November. About twenty-five to thirty thousand mahatmas had attended this spiritual retreat. About five hundred mahatmas from all around the world had come to partake in this celebration. More than 9000 spiritual aspirants attained Atmagnan in Gnan Vidhi on November 9th 2008. Entire satsang hall was completely full with the presence of mahatmas.

Every night different cultural programs were scheduled and in this program famous artists and singers from various cities; and children from different schools had taken part. Varieties of dances, devotional songs, a beautiful play in Hindi was presented on the basis of Dadashri’s four golden aphorisms, a group of people had performed a play based on Dadashri’s life events, an ancient folk-dance-drama in the form of Bhavai was performed based on Dada’s nine axioms, garbas (dancing in circle), another play based on the theme of a circus were performed, all these programs were admired by spectators.

By using modern technology a theme park was specially constructed in 2.5 lakh square feet, which included various exhibits on the basis of Dadashri’s Gnan, both spiritual and worldly interaction knowledge. Various exhibits like ‘who is the doer?’, ‘Dharma no Marma – Real meaning of religion’, ‘Bhaav Vignan – Science of inner intent’, ‘Whatever happened is justice’, ‘Is Self-realization possible for those involved in worldly life?’ were presented in a simple language and an easy to understand manner through multimedia shows. There was a special exhibition 30

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giving understanding about the saint purush, satpurush and the Gnani Purush in photo gallery and exhibition of Dadashri as an ‘observatory of the world’ was beautifully demonstrated. Heart touching documentary films on biography of Gnani Purush Dadashri and Pujya Niruma were shown in Gujarati and Hindi in specially designed dome theaters. Thousands of spectators had visited this theme park.

Children park was constructed in 1.30 lakh square feet area where children had the opportunity to learn the message of Dadashri’s Gnan, moral and cultural values through various exhibits like store of happiness (puppet show), magical glasses (animation film), Dadashri’s scientific vision (multimedia show), humor house, total experience, hurdle course, various games, amphitheatre, and had become the center of attraction. Many spectators after watching special exhibition made for parents and teachers on 360 degrees parenting had given response that they had attained a new understanding and new vision through this exhibition. Lots of children had visited with their parents and had taken benefit of this children park.

Slowly and slowly people in entire Ahmedabad had attained information about this beautiful program. As a result many people had come to attain the wonderful understanding of Gnan and they had expressed their inner intent that ‘may every person attain this Gnan’. On November 13th this grand birthday celebration was completed with the song of the Anthem of Dada which is the deep inner intent and appeal to Dada Bhagwan the eternal Self within all for jagat kalyan salvation of the world, in the presence of thousands of mahatmas and along with this the same prayer was humming constantly in the heart of every mahatma that, ‘may the whole world attain this wonderful Akram Vignan.’ ~Jai Sat Chit Anand

Watch Pujya Niruma on T.V. Channels India :

Doordarshan (National), Thu-Fri 7:30 to 8 AM (In Hindi) Doordarshan Marathi (Sahyadri), Mon-Tue-Thu 7:30 to 8 AM (In Marathi) Doordarshan DD-1, Everyday 3:30 PM to 4 PM (In Gujarat, In Gujarati) Watch same prog. at same time, outside Gujarat on DD-Gujarati All over the World (except India) on 'Sony TV' Mon-Fri 7 to 7:30 AM (In Hindi) USA : 'TV Asia' Everyday 7 to 7:30 AM EST (In Gujarati) USA-UK : 'Aastha International' Every Thu-Fri-Sat 1 to 1-30 PM UK-Europe : 'MA TV' Everyday 7:30 to 8 AM

Watch Pujya Deepakbhai Desai on T.V. Channels India :

STAR Plus, Everyday 6:30 to 7 AM 'Vignan, Shashwat Sukh Ka' Zee Gujarati, Everyday 7 to 7:30 AM (In Gujarati) DD-Gujarati Everyday, 9 to 9:30 PM - 'Gnan Prakash' (In Gujarati)

USA : UK :

'SAHARA ONE' Mon to Fri 9 to 9-30 AM EST (In Gujarati)

December 2008

'MA TV', Everyday 5 to 5:30 PM 31

DADAVANI

Spiritual Discourses and Gnanvidhi in the presence of Atmagni Pujya Deepakbhai Trimandir Adalaj 29 December (Mon) - 8-30 pm to 10-30 pm - Bhakti (Adalaj Trimandir Pranpratistha Day) 31 December (Wed) - 10-00 pm to 12-00 am - Bhakti (on the occasion New Year’s Eve) 2 January (Fri) - 8-30 pm to 10-30 pm - Bhakti (on Param Pujya Dadashri’s Punyatithi) Cochin (Kerala) 11 January (Sun) 5 pm to 8-30 pm Gnanvidhi Venue: Shree Cochin Gujarati High School, Gujarati Road, Mattancherry, Cochin.

Contact: 9447169694 Rajkot 5-6-7 February (Thu-Fri-Sat) 7-30 pm to 10-00 pm Spiritual Discourses 8 February (Sun) 5-30 pm to 9-00 pm Gnanvidhi Venue: Race Course Ground, Opp. Bahumali Bhavan, Rajkot. Contact: 9924343910 Morbi 10-11 February (Tue-Wed) 7 pm to 9-30 pm Spiritual Discourses 12 February (Thu) 6 pm to 9-30 pm Gnanvidhi Venue: Marketing Yard, Opp. New Housing Board, Sanada Road, Morbi. Contact:9426932436 Bhuj 14 & 16 February (Sat-Mon) 5-30 pm to 8-00 pm Spiritual Discourses 15 February (Sun) 5-30 pm to 9-00 pm Gnanvidhi Venue: Jubili ground, Bhuj. Contact : 9924343764 Mumbai 18-19-20 Feb. (Wed-Thu-Fri) 6-30 pm to 9-00 pm Spiritual Discourses 21 February (Sat) 5-30 pm to 9-00 pm Gnanvidhi Venue: Yogi Sabhagruh, Nr. Swaminarayan Mandir, Dadar (CR). Contact : 9323528901-03

DADAVANI FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTION RATE CHANGE The reason for revision in subscription rate for foreign countries is due to significantly increased postal rate by Indian Postal services. New rates becomes effective immediately.

In countries other than USA and UK rates will be in local currency which will be equivalent to Rupee subscription rate mentioned. Below are the revised rates for Membership:

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Contact : Mahavideh Foundation, Trimandir, Simandhar City, Ahmedabad-Kalol Highway, P.O.:Adalaj, Dist.:Gandhinagar-382421, Gujarat, India. Tel. : (079) 39830100, email: dadavani@dadabhagwan.org Vadodara : 0265-2414142, Mumbai : 9323528901-03 USA: 785-271-0869, UK: 07956 476 253 Websites : (1) www.dadabhagwan.org (2) www.dadashri.org 32

December 2008