DIG MAG Fall 2022

Editor’s Note

Dig Your Style: Fashionista Fall Trends

Where to Next: The Ripped Bodice

Photo Story: Center for the History of Video Games and Critical Play

Check it Out:

Using Passion to Empower Others

Report Card: Long Beach Lattes

Passion & Imposter Syndrome

BY LAILA FREEMAN

CSULB students, like Anthony Lewis and Davon DeBerry-Martin, are exuding ambition and doing their best to navigate the imposter syndrome that accompanies them in their endeavors for passion.

The Renaissance Clown of Long Beach

BY REYN OU

Learn about Long Beach’s own one-clown animation studio.

WHO ARE WE? - MEET THE TEAM

DIG MAG is the insider’s guide to Long Beach for the CSULB community, inspiring readers to immerse themselves in the Long Beach lifestyle through in-the-know stories about the latest in food, arts, entertainment and culture; indepth features about people and trends on the campus and in the city; poetry, fiction and literary journalism written by students; and beautiful photography and design. Published by the Department of Journalism and Public Relations at CSULB, it is produced entirely by students.

Editor-In-Chief

Vittina Ibanez

Senior Editor

Kelsey Brown

Features Editors

Sofie Parker

Olivia Peay

Art Director

Natalie Barr

Graphic Designers

Phillip Nguyen

Kim Vo

Photo Editor

Emily Chen

Consultant

Gabby Gobaton

Online Editor

Laila Freeman

Assistant Online Editors

Emily Cain

Vanessa Page

Multimedia Editor

Reyn Ou

Video Editor

Justin Castillo

Podcast Editor

Rachel Livinal

Social Media Editor

Hanna Pierini

Assistant Social Media Editors

Sabrina Gobaton

Becky Tran

Faculty Advisors

Robin Jones

Jennifer Newton

DEAR READER,

These past couple of years have felt like both the longest Booksmart acid Barbie fever dream and fecal Hurricane Katrina, and if you feel otherwise, I properly both commend and envy you.

While many were fighting reallife nightmares, I was fortunate enough to fiddle while Rome burned. My “problem” at the time being that I was a film major cog in a society that (validly) deemed the entertainment industry: NONESSENTIAL and shot down every bright, shiny hope I had for my future. But film major, still, I am because I deemed it my passion.

Growing up, passion, for me, always translated to nonessential. Things like art and music and writing were disposable, but as much as my tiny angel shoulder conscience understood that, I think that idea that connotation sucks because where would we be without the things we love?

I probably wouldn’t be pursuing the future I am or writing this and working for DIG.

I’ve downplayed it, but this role at this magazine, this school year and this issue are major for me.

I first applied to DIG as a multimedia assistant my sophomore year on a whim because I was halfway through film school and felt like I had nothing to show for it. Every project I had felt empty, and I lacked the space where I could feel excited by my ideas or actually make

them happen. DIG gave me that space.

Two years later, it’s still giving me that space: to write and seek out and learn about the things I love. This magazine was, and persists to be, my favorite passion project because it made me remember why I had such bright, shiny hopes in the first place, and it’s these types of things I want to dedicate this issue to.

This issue is about passion projects: the things in our lives we might not need but do for nothing but our own joy and peace of mind and heart; things that make you feel like you aren’t wasting away.

This issue also marks the beginning of the end for my (and much of this staff’s) college career, and I’m so grateful that a part of it gets to be documented in these beautiful pages that this, even more beautiful, band of minds came together to create.

So enjoy, my dear reader, and welcome back. I hope you fall in love with this issue as much as I have, and I hope it helps you find something new or reignites a love you may have put away.

Yours sincerely,

Vittina Ibanez

STORY BY VITTINA IBANEZ

5 CSULB FASHIONMONGERS SHARE THEIR FALL PICKS

For some, the clothes we put on our backs are solely for protection or modesty. But for those who uphold fashion as a passion, clothing is so much more: a means to make a living, an extension of their identity, and even a mode for fulfilling their life purpose. Here are five pieces and styles to try for the fall season straight from some of Cal State Long Beach’s most fashionable students.

BOOTCUT PANTS HATS LAYERING

“I love to ‘dress up’ and wear more tailored, dress clothes than I do relaxed comfortable garments, which reminds me of the fall time… I am also a frequent wearer of long, bootcut-style jeans or pants. I love any pant that is long and drapes over the shoe. This elongates my body and also looks more relaxed, which is how one should dress in the fall.”

TEXTURE PLAY

LEATHER, KNIT, FUR, CARGO

“The use of leather and military clothing is definitely resurfacing, so I tend to source my fabrics that are oil-waxed, pre-owned, and at times, archived.”

“I love layering during the fall. I feel like it adds a lot more depth and interest to an outfit. Even though we live in Southern California where the weather doesn’t get too cold, I find that there are a lot more pieces to play around with… I also love cropped textured vests layered over button-ups and knit shrugs over matching cropped tank tops.”

RED + NEUTRALS

“My favorite fall color is definitely red. It is usually mixed with neutral tones but definitely spices up any outfit.”

“I love hats. I think hats can serve many purposes in the fall, and they can elevate any outfit paired with them. Any hat is good I think, though the sillier the better. All items I have listed serve a vital purpose in staying warm, yet can be overlooked when discussing fall fashion.”

“I’m currently loving long cargo skirts. They’re a piece that can easily be styled for any season.”

“I love the neutral tones that fall also brings out in outfits. Blacks, browns, tans, grays, whites are all so generic, but timeless.”

“I LOVE HATS. I THINK HATS CAN SERVE MANY PURPOSES IN THE FALL, AND THEY CAN ELEVATE ANY OUTFIT PAIRED WITH THEM.”

— GianoPaolo Trone, Fashion Merchandising ’25

— Ysabel Hilado, Fashion Design ‘22

— Ysabel Hilado, Fashion Design ‘22

— Gavin Pangilinan, Fashion Merchandising ‘25

— Vivian Calloway, Linguistics ‘24

— Nazly Menjivar, Fashion Design ‘25

— GianoPaolo Trone, Fashion Merchandising ’25

GIANOPAOLO TRONE

JEANS - TOMMY HILFIGER, VINTAGE

BAG - BALENCIAGA

SUNGLASSES - BALENCIAGA

LEATHER VEST - VINTAGE

TAILORED VEST - ESCADA

JEWELRY - CARTIER, TIFFANY, VINTAGE

YSABEL HILADO

ASYMMETRICAL TANK - THRIFTED

CARGO SKIRT - DIY

BOOTS - DR. MARTEN SINCLAIR PLATFORMS BAG - THRIFTED

NAZLY MENJIVAR

TOP - SELF-MADE, NASTYKILLA (HER BRAND) PANTS - FLEA MARKET, GOLDBERGH

THE RIPPED BODICE: The First Sanctuary for Lovers of Romance

STORY BY Bella Arnold

PHOTOS BY Abel Reyes

Bea Koch and Leah Koch are sisters with a shared passion for romance novels. After raising the money through a Kickstarter campaign for the first romance-only bookstore in the United States, they hit the ground running.

“What if we only sold romance

novels?”

The Ripped Bodice is the first romance bookstore in the United States and the only one of its kind on the West Coast. Both Leah and Bea Koch grew up loving romance novels, so they wanted to open a romance-only bookstore as an ode to the types of books that they love.

“This is what I love to read, so here we are,” Leah said.

She described the first brainstorm she had with her sister back in August 2015, when all they knew was that they wanted to go into business together. At that point, they had no concrete plans for what that business would be.

As she recounted that seven-year-old conversation, she wore a floral shirt with a matching mask. Students from Otis College of Art and Design visited the shop during that time of day, and she wanted to look stylish.

The store’s bright pink exterior can be found on the corner of Main Street and Venice Boulevard in Culver City. The store combines a feeling of comfort and a sense of fantasy. Shelves are dedicated to Jane Austen, walls are titled “LGBTQ+” and “young-adult romances,” and nooks are filled by novels with the classic “Fabio” styled covers. The Ripped Bodice comes equipped with a plethora of options for every type of romance reader.

“That’s very much on purpose,” Leah said. “The store is meant to be Instagrammed.”

Bea was the first of the pair to fall in love with romance through the Jane Austen, Regency women and “bodice ripper” pipeline. The term “bodice ripper” refers to a subgenre of romance novels set in historical settings, usually the Regency era in the 19th century. “Bodice ripper” book covers tend to feature a man and woman, staring into each other's eyes in semi-historically accurate clothing that’s been somewhat undone. The books are usually sexually explicit and sometimes violent, hence the ripping of the bodice.

According to Leah, when she was 12 years old, she inherited her love for romance stories from her sister.

“I was really drawn to how much these stories focused on emotions and people’s inner lives,” Leah said.

Despite the fact that romance is the most popular genre, the stigma that these stories are shallow and unserious still prevails. Leah and Bea’s desire to be the first romance-only bookstore was born out of their adoration for the genre, but also a need to destroy the stigma around romance novels.

“There is no physical space where romance enthusiasts can come together to buy the books we love,” said Leah and Bea in their 2016 Kickstarter campaign. “We want to

change that.” So they did.

The sisters took a nontraditional route. Instead of pursuing funding by way of a bank loan, they started a Kickstarter campaign, which is designed to fundraise money over a short period of time.

After raising $91,187 from 599 backers during their 30-day campaign, the Koch sisters opened The Ripped Bodice on March 4, 2016, in Culver City.

The store’s name comes from the title of Bea’s graduate thesis from New York University, “Mending the Ripped Bodice.” She also published a book called “Mad & Bad: Real Heroines of the Regency” in 2020. Bea’s book highlights the invisible heroines of the

Regency era who didn’t fit in the stereotypical mold of the perfect, wealthy, white and Christian romantic leading lady.

As a queer and woman-owned business, some things that have been important to Leah and Bea are social justice issues, being vocal about human rights, and lifting up authors from various marginalized communities.

“We don’t really believe in keeping politics out of business; we own the business,” Leah said. “We are women and we’re also Jewish and I’m queer. If there’s bad shit going on, we will talk about that and that extends to our business practices.”

To Leah, the belief that the business and identity of the business owners should stay separate is outdated.

“We’re going for the opposite of corporate anything,” Leah said. “Anything in here is pretty much made by hand and chosen on purpose. Everything is very deliberate.”

Leah hopes that when customers leave the store, they’ve not only found something they’re excited to read, but they also feel excited about romance as a genre.

Whether customers are longtime romance enthusiasts, new to the genre or somewhere in between, The Ripped Bodice booksellers are there to help them find their perfect next read.

“We wanted to go into business together, we wanted to do something we were excited about,” Leah said. “We sort of came up with this idea and assumed someone was already doing it but it turned out that they were not.”

“There is no physical space where romance enthusiasts can come together to buy the books we love. We want to change that.”

VIDEO GAME Time Machines to Take You Back

Over the past two years, vintage video games have made their way into the spotlight. Prices for games from the 1970s, ‘80s, and ‘90s skyrocketed online.

But Cal State Long Beach students don’t have to spend a penny to explore these newly popular games. At the Center for the History of Video Games and Critical Play on campus, students can get an handson look at some of the video games that have shaped our world and examine their

STORY & PHOTOS BY ABEL REYES

cultural effect with the help of the center’s directors, history professors Jeff Lawler and Sean Smith.

Those who find themselves intrigued can even take classes about the subject in the history department History 306, Past as Present: Games as Historical Narrative, Public Memory and Cultural Representations; and History 307, Cultural History of Video Games and Gaming Technology.

SIMON SAYS

While not strictly a video game, Simon was advertised as a memory-based computer game for the entire family. Simon debuted in 1978 in New York City’s Studio 54 and was an instant hit, becoming a pop culture phenomenon of the 1970s and 1980s.

MATTEL FOOTBALL

With the debut of Auto Race in 1976, Mattel developed the first portable game and introduced both its own brand of Mattel Electronics games, as well as handheld games. This was Mattel’s second game to be distributed through retailers, and it debuted in June 1977. After less than 100,000 copies were sold, retailers concluded that the games would not be popular, and the majority of production for Football was halted.

MATTEL BASEBALL

Right next to Mattel’s Football handheld, baseball came to portable systems. This electronic ball game, that can be played by one or two individuals, allowed people to compete against one other.

VIDEO PINBALL 04

Beginning in 1977, Atari launched a series of single-player dedicated home video game machines under the Video Pinball brand. The initial model of the Video Pinball series had three game types: pinball, basketball and breakout.

ATARI RECORDER

Atari was founded in 1972 to create arcade games, and around 1975, it entered the consumer market, first with dedicated home versions of Pong and other arcade successes as computer technology matured with low costs. Atari’s specialized program recorder was introduced in 1979, and the 410 was released with the Atari 400 and 800 devices.

PLAY METER

MAGAZINE

MANUAL 06

Manuals existed to guide the casual consumer through more technical challenges, but with its images of the “typical” family person, manuals and advertisements can subtly show how games were clearly marketed to white men and middle-class Americans.

07

Play Meter was an American publication devoted to the coin-operated arcade industry. It is the first example of video game journalism, introducing concepts such as individual video game reviews and the 10-point video game review scale.

BOARDGAMES 08

In the past decade, the popularity of board games has skyrocketed. The Guardian dubbed it “A Golden Age for Board Games” in 2012, claiming that board games had grown at a pace of up to 40% year over year. They’re also gradually becoming one of the most popular project categories on Kickstarter.

TELESTAR 09

Throughout the 1970s, the Telstar brand

FRACTION FEVER

In an attempt to make video game consoles a more educational experience and less of a leisure one, games like Fraction Fever involved finding a fraction equivalent to the one presented on screen by moving laterally on a platform.

COMPUTING

Atari released a series of 8-bit home computers released from 1979 to 1992. They were the first computers to have custom coprocessor chips. This architecture allowed for more powerful graphics and sound than other computers, and they were often used for gaming. In 1984, Atari estimated that there were four million owners of its home computers.

GTA5

Modern video games like Grand Theft Auto 5 can also offer a historical perspective. With its depiction of Los Angeles, the game offers a means to examine how the city and its people are portrayed in popular culture.

BUILDING EMPOWERMENT THROUGH BUSINESS

STORY & PHOTOS BY KELSEY BROWN

Owning a business is an admirable feat, but cultivating a space for people to feel safe is on another level. People are in search of services that uplift them and leave them feeling more whole than when they arrived. These three local businesses encourage empowerment through different mediums and modes and guarantee that the client is at the center of their business.

TOP RIGHT: Students dance at Alyssa Marquez’s burlesque studio “Empowerment in Heels” in Los Angeles.

BOTTOM RIGHT: Zahalea Anderson, founder of RA life Defense, teaches self defense classes at the Bluff in Long Beach.

LEFT: Sanja Oropeza, founder of Kevala Wellness and Ayurveda, created her business in hopes of cultivating a safe space for holistic healing.

weekly

MIDDLE: Every Sunday, the class is filled with dancers from different backgrounds and experience levels.

take turns dancing and encouraging one another, making it feel like a comfortable space to express yourself.

EMPOWERMENT IN HEELS

Alyssa Marquez, a classically trained dancer based in Los Angeles, founded Empowerment in Heels, a burlesque company, in 2018 in response to the Trump administration. Marquez says she remembers feeling scared to work, and she wanted to create a safe space for those in the industry or just interested in burlesque.

“I want to just create a space where you don’t have to have any technique,” Marquez said. “You could just move your body.”

Marquez offers an all-levels burlesque class for $20 every Sunday at 4 p.m. at Hollywood Dance Center. The dancers all get together for dinner afterward at a restaurant across the street.

Empowerment in Heels also has a monthly residency of burlesque shows at

the Three Clubs in Hollywood. Many of the performers have danced in an Empowerment in Heels class.

“A lot of my students come to me after a breakup, trying to find themselves; maybe they’re new to L.A. and trying to find new friend groups, new hobbies, a community to be a part of,” Marquez said. “There’s a lot of catharsis that happens with dance. Oftentimes, there have been tears in class, and it comes out of nowhere.”

Social media: @empowermentinheels

Website: empowermentinheels.com

Location: 817 N. Highland Ave., Los Angeles

Price for classes: $20

BOTTOM RIGHT: Dancers

TOP LEFT: Alyssa Marquez, founder of Empowerment in Heels, leads a

all-levels burlesque class.

“I want to just create a space where you don’t have to have any technique, you could just move your body.”

EMPOWERMENT THROUGH SELF-DEFENSE

RA Life Defense offers a variety of classes for all people to learn how to protect their mind, body and spirit.

Professor Zahalea Anderson says her classes, which are taught at Bluff Park in Long Beach, extend from a self defense system called Sanuces Ryu Ju-Jitsu, a form of martial arts that comes from struggle. Anderson, who is a seventh-degree black belt, learned the practice from her father.

Prior to teaching at the Bluff, Anderson taught for 25 years at her original dojo, which was one of the oldest Black businesses in Long Beach. During the period of civil unrest following the death of George Floyd, her business was burned down. Anderson says the dojo was a casualty of war. She isn’t discouraged, however, as she notes self-defense classes can be taught anywhere and are needed everywhere.

Anderson offers classes in-person and online, for individuals, groups, couples, and even children. Anderson is open to teaching anyone practically anything related to self-defense and sits down with potential

students before her classes to ensure she can help them meet their goals.

“I have something for everybody,” Anderson said. “Anything you want, because if you want to learn how to protect your mind, body and spirit, you’re going to need this here.”

Anderson explained that her classes are more than just a fitness class. She helps students decipher what is worth engaging in, and what’s not.

Unfortunately, Anderson says there is always someone trying to fight or cause harm. Because of that, Anderson says it’s important to know how to defend yourself and to know when to let “petty bullshit” slide.

“I’ve grown into this person that I am now,” Anderson said. “I wasn’t born like this. I had to build courage. I had to build strength. I had to get to know myself.”

Social media: @ra_life_defense

Location: Bluff Park, Long Beach

Price for classes: First class donation-based Pop up mat fee: $25

EMPOWERMENT THROUGH HOLISTIC HEALTH

On Redondo Avenue sits a little pale yellow building that’s home to Kevala Wellness and Ayurveda.

Sanja Oropeza opened up Kevala in 2016 because she wanted to provide a safe space of holistic healing for clients and practitioners. Oropeza, who ran a business in Orange from 2007 to 2016, said she’s encountered many spaces that claim to be safe when that wasn’t actually the case.

“It’s really important to me to create a container where people can feel safe again,” Oropeza said. “Even if they’re just exploring what holistic health can do for them. It’s a space to do it.”

At Kevala, clients can receive a variety of holistic healing practices like therapeutic massages, chakra connections, sound healing, Reiki healing, guided breathwork, detoxing and cleansing consultations.

Because Oropeza has worked with and received healing from the practitioners she

works with, she is able to ensure Kevala is a safe space.

“Everybody that works with me, I have personally received healing with,” Oropeza said. “Those are the people I want to bring in.”

Clients filter through Oropeza, who helps determine the best fit for them. Oropeza says she cultivates empowerment by reminding people that they have the power to manifest whatever they want. Through holistic healing, people can strive to be the best versions of themselves.

“The world needs more love,” Oropeza said. “The world needs more compassion. The world needs more people who truly care and embrace each other.”

Social media:

@kevalawellnessandayurveda

Website: kevalawellness.com

Location: 387 Redondo Ave., Long Beach

A Saturday at Kevala Wellness includes Tarot reading, Reiki healing, and vegan tacos.

Professor Zahalea Anderson leads her RA Life Defense class at Bluff Park.

“There is no passion to be found playing small—in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

- Nelson Mandela

HOMESPUN NOSTALGIA: HOW CROCHET IS MAKING A COMEBACK

STORY BY EUNICE BARRON

An old artform makes a modern comeback with a new generation with the help of social media and creators with small businesses.

A handiwork as old as time is currently making a comeback.

Plenty of people picked up crochet as a hobby while they were stuck at home and bored during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Since then, the craft has flooded social media platforms such as TikTok and music festivals like Coachella.

Those new to the hobby might be surprised to learn that crocheting has been around since the 16th century.

According to research from the Crochet Guild of America, crocheting “probably developed most directly from Chinese needlework, a very ancient form of embroidery known in Turkey, India, Persia and North Africa, which reached Europe in the 1770s and was referred to as “tambouring,” from the French “tambour” or “drum.”

Crocheting first started as a man’s job, with the focus on creating handmade items such as fishing nets and knotted bags. As time passed, people started using crochet to make decorations, clothing, and other items.

Crafters continued to crochet to create useful objects and just for

fun throughout the years before it became the trend we are accustomed to today.

Jacquelyn Morrell, a professor of family and consumer sciences at CSULB, noted that the hobby first caught fire 50 years ago.

“The crochet trend in general started back in the ‘70s,” she said. “That’s when it hit the height of its popularity. Most trends do revive themselves, and it is interesting to see it come back in such full force now.”

People get hooked on needlecrafts like crochet because they can create items that are wearable, she said.

“The beauty of learning how to crochet is that you can make things that you can wear outside the home,” she said.

You see many of these fashion statements at popular music festivals, further heightening crochet’s popularity, she said.

“We’re getting back to these festivals, back to these activities where people can show off their unique designs and things that they spent hours making,” Morrell said.

“IT’S REALLY HELPED WITH MY ANXIETY AND IS HELPING ME DEAL WITH ANY STRESS,” URFANO SAID.

“The beauty of learning how to crochet is that you can make things that you can wear outside the home,” -Jacquelyn Morrell.

Long Beach residents Kassandra “Kassey” Urfano, owner of HookedbyKass, and Sammie Kau, owner of KAUwaii Crochets, began to explore crocheting during the pandemic and have not stopped since.

Urfano, a current liberal studies major at Cal State Long Beach, found crocheting to be a haven when she was struggling with her mental health during the pandemic.

“It’s really helped with my anxiety and is helping me deal with any stress,” Urfano said.

The same goes for Kau, who says crocheting helps her release any tension or difficult feelings that she may have.

“I found that crocheting alleviates anxiety and turns any stress energy that you may have in your body into something productive,” Kau said.

Kau, a CSULB alumni who graduated in 2017 with a degree in kinesiology, learned to crochet in middle school through classes at a

“MY ADVICE WOULD BE TO MASTER THE BASICS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE PLANNING TO DO THIS LONG TERM OR PLANNING TO SELL. EVEN STITCHES MAKE EVERYTHING, SO PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT,” KAU SAID.

church. It wasn’t until the pandemic that she expanded her creativity and founded an Etsy store.

Urfano also turned her hobby into a small businesses. Like Kau, she currently uses Instagram to promote and sell her creations. She also plans to expand her online business into a brick-and-mortar shop where she’ll sell her chunky plushies, tote bags and patterns.

Kau plans to continue to make her plushies and wants to incorporate winter wear items, like beanies and scarves, into her store later in the year. She also hopes to be able to sell her items at craft fairs.

Her advice for anyone wanting to start their own crochet business? Practice, practice, practice.

“My advice would be to master the basics, especially if you’re planning to do this long-term or planning to sell. Even stitches make everything, so practice makes perfect,” Kau said.

PASSION AND IMPOSTER SYNDROME

STORY BY LAILA FREEMAN PHOTOS BY VITTINA IBANEZ & OLIVIA PEAY

THE FILM ENTHUSIAST

Film and Electronic Arts major Anthony Lewis strengthened his devotion to cinematography after acquiring an internship for a Netflix series. He was selected to be a production assistant for “The Witcher Starring King Vader: The Story of Cain.” Working for the Netflix Dreams program meant commuting to Santa Clarita from Los Angeles, but Lewis thought it was worth it.

“I feel like film is my passion because I’ve always wanted to create videos and I’ve always wanted to do special effects,” Lewis said. “I want to do something instead of just drawing, and I want to bring these characters to actual life. So I thought, ‘Why not try film?’ That’s where it took me.”

He even has a Spider-Man web series titled “Spider Man Light of Day,” on his YouTube channel, Sky Guy. His series consists of three episodes following the main character, Damian Lewis, who is loosely based on himself. Damian Lewis protects Los Angeles as Spiderman due to its high crime rate because all the major superheroes are in New York City.

Now the young filmmaker is working on a script for his own sci-fi film.

Like some creatives, Lewis has fallen victim to imposter syndrome.

“I was filming and I was like, ‘Dang, am I really cut out to be this type of person?’” Lewis said. “I have my moments, but then I just get out of it, and I’ll be like, yeah, I deserve to do this.”

To expel imposter syndrome, Lewis looks back at all of his accomplishments. He plans to continue uploading to his YouTube channel to further develop his film portfolio.

Lewis encourages other aspiring filmmakers to start small, not doubt their creativity, and gradually produce more films. Despite the hurt that comes with constructive criticism, Lewis urges young creatives to continue improving their production and storytelling skills.

“There’s always hope that somebody will see your stuff, so I just reassure myself saying that I’m also young, I’m 20,” he said. “I have my whole life ahead of me, so what I’m doing now is kind of small, but I can get there. It just takes time, I just need to be patient.”

Pursuing a passion brings a sense of purpose — but it can also cause people to experience self-doubt and anxiety. These two CSULB students are working to navigate the imposter syndrome that accompanies them as they follow their passion.

THE VOCAL PRODIGY

Davon DeBerry-Martin, 24, has been singing since he was in middle school and is now a music major in the Bob Cole Conservatory of Music program. Last semester you could often find him singing covers for his friends in Hillside’s B’s common room, ranging from artists such as Billy Paul to PARTYNEXTDOOR.

“I get a sense of fulfillment every time I sing, or I’m doing musical things,” DeBerryMartin said. “It makes me feel whole.”

The singer’s alias is Twelveround$, and he dabbles in the genres of R&B, hip-hop and alternative. He branched out further by joining the intermediate jazz group, Corner Pocket, a group for singers who have no previous jazz involvement. DeBerry-Martin recommends this experience to people of any musical level.

His impressive covers and live performances are posted on both his Instagram account and YouTube channel under “twelve12rounds.” He is also featured on the song “Forlorn” by iraya, a Filipino artist from the Bay Area, like DeBerry-Martin. The tune is available on any streaming platform.

The vocalist looks at imposter syndrome in music as sporadic and unpredictable, showing its face at any stage in someone’s musical process or at any given time. It can affect artists differently based on their own doubts and struggles.

“I get a sense of fulfillment every time I sing, or I’m doing musical things,” DeBerry-Martin said. “It makes me feel whole.”

“Personally, it’s when I’m writing music and trying to take my lyrics serious,” Twelveround$ said.

“I have to learn how to work as a professional and just taking myself serious,” he sayid “So I guess that's where the imposter syndrome comes in.”

For other aspiring artists experiencing imposter syndrome, DeBerry-Martin advises consistently working on your craft and staying true to yourself. In his own musical journey, the artist plans on continuing to improve his professional edge and hopefully release some of his unpublished tracks.

“You just learn how to handle it, but sometimes you might look yourself in the mirror and be like, ‘Who is this guy?’” he said. “I don’t know if you can get over it, but you can just push through it.”

“You just learn how to handle it, but sometimes you might look yourself in the mirror and be like, ‘Who is this guy?’” DeBerry-Martin said. “I don’t know if you can get over it, but you can just push through it.”

CL OWN

THE RENAISSANCE OF LONG BEACH

STORY BY REYN OU PHOTOS BY EMILY CHEN

One of the first sounds anyone is bound to hear upon encountering Eden Byrne is the almost too-comical honk of their clown horn or the unbridled giddy laughter resounding from their often delicately painted face. With a head full of fluorescent dyed hair (currently, it’s a bright blend of purple and green) and silver chains dangling from their neck, they’re a Long Beach spectacle that’s hard to miss.

One might expect to see a person of such jest at your local seasonal sideshow or carnival, but Byrne can be found fine-tuning illustrations in their sketchbook. Or teaching ballet. Or practicing voice acting in their car. But mostly, they are striding through the buildings of Cal State Long Beach’s fine arts department.

A self-proclaimed “king of shame,” Byrne was never too shy to explore the fun and the fanciful.

As eccentric as they are, Byrne didn’t always have an affinity for clowns. In fact, for most of their life, Byrne was mortally terrified of them.

“The thing that made them so scary to me was the fact that in horror, they’re used a lot as something that’s supposedly so whimsical and so fun that’s turned dark and menacing,” Byrne said

It was when the 20-year-old illustration major watched a short film by one of their favorite animators that their coulrophobia faded.

“It starred these clowns that were on a flying pirate ship, and they were fighting vampires to go rescue their younger sister,” Byrne said. “That stuck in my brain. I was like, ‘That’s so cool.’ It’s such a weird concept.”

Presented with the narrative versatility of The Fool, Byrne’s “deep dive into clowns” began. Armed with the iPad their father gifted to them and the years-long experience accumulated from drawing anime as a kid, Byrne got to work. They emerged with designs for a trio of clown siblings and other characters, many of which are showcased on their Instagram page.

Byrne had always had an affinity for designing new characters. A quick pass through a song that they’ve heard or a phrase as inane as “cyberpunk cowboy” can have them frantically scribbling into a sketchbook for later development.

“Character design is just so much fun,” Byrne said. “Honestly, I find so much enjoyment in expressing people’s personalities and who they are and what they like, based solely on what they look like.”

Byrne would even go so far as acting out conversations between their characters to make sense of their personalities and relationships. But it wasn’t until a fateful session of the tabletop role-playing game Dungeons and Dragons that Byrne discovered a new avenue for bringing their beloved creations to life.

“My character Riley had a particular, very emotionally charged moment. And I really went into it. And I was actually crying on my side of the Discord call,” Byrne said.

The performance was so pathologically moving that the Dungeons and Dragons group had to call the game off momentarily to take a break, an outcome that Byrne never knew they had the power to summon.

In addition to illustration and character design, Byrne had now encountered the realm of voice acting. Though anyone who’s ever met Byrne could rave about the dynamic range of their voice, Byrne had never considered the option of being a voice actor.

However, a couple of people in the business definitely had a passing comment from Byrne

“For me, acting is less about pretending, and more of just genuine honesty framed in a different way.”

to their mother got them connected to Lori Alan, the voice of Pearl from the Spongebob Squarepants series. Byrne recalled the instantaneous decision their manager Tina Morasco had made to assign Alan as Byrne’s voice coach.

“The second [Morasco] got on the phone with me, it was really funny. She was just like, ‘Oh yeah, you have a good voice for animation.’ I just said one word to her. It was literally 11 p.m.,” Byrne said.

From that point forward, Byrne began honing their craft with the coveted voice actor. From the confines of their often rambunctious home Byrne is the proud owner of three dogs and two cats who are talented vocal artists themselves the practicing Pagliacci started to develop an impressive demo reel. From impersonations of Pikachu to Cockney accents, Byrne developed an arsenal of go-to voices for future auditions.

Though Byrne is still in the process of financially securing proper sound equipment for themselves, as in-person sound booths are a thing of the industry’s past, acting had always been a strong skill of Byrne’s.

“For me, acting is less about pretending, and more of just genuine honesty framed in a different way,” they said. “Because when I do acting, I’m not acting. I’m legitimately feeling these emotions. I’m literally digging deep in myself and doing their character.”

The isolation of an actor’s voice in animated media makes the genuineness of their performance that much more necessary.

But it’s common practice in Hollywood to cast A-listers whose names would attract audiences but whose voices would put them to sleep. All the while, voice actors whose talent frequently goes undetected are left underappreciated, underpaid and overworked.

“These are the people that kind of bring these characters to life. And sometimes one of the things that brings down a show so exponentially is bad voice acting,” Byrne said “Because no matter how beautifully animated it is, if the characters just sound like they don’t want to be there, you get taken out of it.”

Still, Byrne goes on. As an individual so full of life that it manifests into the endless birth of whimsical artistic creations, it seems that Byrne will never stop giving it their all in designing and voicing new characters.

“The impact that has on a character and on a performance is just so powerful,” Byrne said. “Even with just something like [Dungeons and Dragons] with my friends, just seeing the reactions on their faces as I’m giving their performance or hearing the reaction… It’s just so much fun, you know?”

“Character design is just so much fun. Honestly, I find so much enjoyment in expressing people’s personalities and who they are and what they like, based solely on what they look like.”

FOR THE LOVE OF LATTES!

STORY & PHOTOS BY OLIVIA PEAY

There are plenty of locations in Long Beach serving up coffee with Instagram-worthy aesthetics and rich flavors. Whether you prefer the buzz of caffeine or the zen of decaf, here are three places in Long Beach that will make you fall in love with coffee all over again.

AB+

RAD COFFEE AROMA DI ROMA

Punk rock meets skate culture in one of the newest additions to Long Beach. An abundance of rock-and-roll flyers, colored plants, and video games fill its interior, while neon hand-shaped chairs promise that you will always be in, well… good hands. With its third location in Southern California, the independent coffee chain welcomes visitors with its signature skeletonhead logo and offers a variety of drinks inspired by Halloween. From floral to fruity creations topped with cookies and colored whipped creams, their innovative beverages will bring out your inner artist.

Address: 3502 Atlantic Ave., Long Beach, CA 90807

Hours:

Every day, 6AM - 12AM

This Italian-inspired café has provided locals with resonantly rich coffee for years. Customers can immerse themselves inside the café’s graffiti-covered walls, which depict street art and the faces of well-known soccer players. Aroma di Roma has the largest selection of sweet-to-savory flavored lattes in Long Beach, including blackberry, turmeric ginger, charcoal, beetroot, butterfly pea powder, and spiced vanilla chai. The bustling atmosphere of the café is the only downside to those looking for a quiet corner. However, their Downtown Long Beach location offers more solitude.

Address: 4708 E. 2nd St., Long Beach, CA 90803

Hours:

Sun. 6AM - 9PM

Mon.-Thu. 5:30AM - 9PM

Fri. 5:30AM - 10PM

Sat. 6AM - 10PM

Address: 444 W. Ocean Blvd., Unit 110, Long Beach, CA 90802

Hours: Mon.-Fri. 7AM - 3PM

BLACK DOG COFFEE ROASTERS

A 1960s mint-green Volkswagen van greets visitors in front of a storage unit in the heart of Signal Hill, the home of Black Dog Coffee Roasters. The industrial-style space invites coffee lovers to take in the aroma of the sustainably sourced beans that they roast in-house. Black Dog provides customers with a fresh taste for an affordable price, with no extra charge for a milk substitute. Enjoy one of their house special flavors, like peanut butter honey, coconut espresso, agave oat, lavender honey, or passionfruit matcha. Unfortunately, they do not carry decaf for those who dislike caffeine jitters, but if you are in need of a morning pick-me-up, Black Dog Coffee Roasters is the place to go.

Address: 1390 E. Burnett St, Unit G, Signal Hill, CA 90755

Hours:

Sun. 8AM - 1PM Mon.-Fri. 7AM - 4PM Sat. 8AM - 2PM