Cut it out: I am NOT my hair

Having 4C texture hair, a descriptor used to determine the tightness of a curl pattern, as a Black woman doesn’t get you welcomed into the natural hair community with open arms.

Ever since I was younger, my mom and dad were set on relaxing my hair. My mom spent her life taking the same route, so the thought of living in natural hair was far beyond what she knew or accepted. Plus, her busy work schedule couldn’t coexist with maintaining natural hair for three daughters. It would’ve been another shift but without pay. Similar to most black fathers, my dad was just going with the flow. After all, he couldn’t really vouch for this area of my life.

A little Bre’Anna always ached for the long, flowy hair she saw on TV. Having no representation in the media didn’t help either. Every Black girl or woman had bouncy, loose curls or long flat ironed hair. I want- ed the kind of hair that Disney characters, Nickelodeon stars and other child stars all had.

I learned at a young age how important hair was to Black women. If my hair was ugly, I was ugly. If my hair was beautiful, I was beautiful. So even though I hated to see the box of creamy crack (a.k.a. relaxer), all I could think about was how straight and long my hair would be afterward.

My mom wasn’t a fan of natural hair mainly because she wasn’t raised to embrace it. Unless it was my older sister who has looser curls, of course.

In the Black community, those loose curls are considered “good hair.” So, when my sister stepped into her journey of naturalness, she was embraced every step of the way.

I, on the other hand, would propose the idea and be shot down immediately. My “beebees” weren’t cute or appealing. I had “nappy” hair which was a negative connotation I carried for years in relation to my naturalness.