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Prepping for beach season while still eating every part of the pig LIVING
Daily World-Herald
nebraska edition
independent. in-depth. irresponsible
Friday, march 30, 2012
Omahans awaiting cranes’ flight marvel at crow By tyler keown Daily world-herald staff writer
courtesy photo, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
In eager anticipation of the storied Sandhill Crane migration in late March, Omaha residents gathered Wednesday morning at the intersection of 72nd and Dodge streets to delight in the movement of an Omaha treasure. Just as the morning traffic rush began, a crow was spotted soaring
from the top of a Crossroads Mall tower south toward Dodge, where it landed on the rim of a bus stop trash can. “It’s hard for me to make it out west to see the cranes given my 9-to-5 work schedule,” said Lance King, who works in midtown. “This is easily the next best thing. Maybe better. Just look at that thing.” King wasn’t the only one flooded with emotion watching this
inside
spectacle of aviation. Candace Shun, who was on her way to work when she paused to study the crow, was nearly moved to tears when the beast flapped its mangled left wing and let out several loud screeches. “I just get so excited for the crane migration and this is always the first sign, I think,” she said. For the others, this was the very first time they’d been in the See Crows: Page 2
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GARFIELD, DON’T DO THAT!
The heat is on
Garfield continues to behave in manner unbecoming of a normal cat. Don’t miss your favorite orange feline eat people food, sleep COMICS
the associated press
Chancellor Harvey Perlman practices his form moments before betting the state’s flagship university on a 3-under par
Swing and a miss
Who students at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln want to vote for in their student government elections
UNL removed from Big Ten after illadvised golf-course agreement Page 4A
A recent poll at the University of Nebraska’s flagship Lincoln campus asked students who they would vote for in their upcoming ASUN (student government) elections. Which party should claim college victory?
Genius bedbug to improve 4-year graduation rate
All students Democrats Republicans Independents Impact Party 5% 3 5 2 Party Party 3 6 2 3 Don’t Care 92 91 93 95
morgan spiehs/daily world-herald
Omaha resident Margaret Schmidt tries to beat the heat downtown on Thursday afternoon. Schmidt spent the day sitting outdoors while temperatures clocked in at 74 degrees, three above the March average.
UNL officials campaign to include bedbugs in enrollment total Bedbugs to aid goal of reaching 30,000 students at flagship university IAN SACKS DAILY WORLD-HERALD BUREAU
LINCOLN — When University of Nebraska-Lincoln Chancellor Harvey Perlman took the stage last September for his first State of the University Address since UNL joined the Big Ten, he cited a need to increase enrollment to 30,000 students by 2017. Now university officials are saying that goal could be reached as early as next year. “It’s all about the bedbugs,” said Amanda Hunt, director of the Office of Admissions at UNL. “You just have to include the bugs.” Pending approval from the Nebraska Board of Regents at its April 16 meeting, Hunt said her office is ready to admit more than 75 of the bloodsucking insects, cimex lectularius, and is in the process of drafting applications for hundreds more. Hunt cited the decision as a necessary
step with Nebraska high school graduation rates declining since 2009. “We’re like a shark growing in a pond that’s way too small,” she said. “You have to use the resources available to you, and in our case, that’s a diverse, motivated pool of dust-sized, unkillable pests.” University administrators have also come out in support of the initiative, which takes advantage of the 188 rooms confirmed to have housed bedbugs during sweeps made by pest control companies earlier this semester. At a press conference at the university Thursday, Perlman called the development “long overdue.” “I kept thinking ‘How are we going to meet these numbers? How are we going to achieve this goal and step up in the Big Ten?’” Perlman said in front of a crowd at the Nebraska Union. “With just 25 bugs left in each room and modest amounts of highly active breeding, we could be looking at achieving our enrollment numbers by the beginning of next fall. Obviously we’re very excited.” Nebraska Regent Bob Whitehouse of Omaha agreed, predicting that with
TOTAL ENROLLMENT NUMBERS FALL SEMESTER 2007-08 2012-13 Total-enrollment increases at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln have stagnated at about 2 percent per year for the last six academic years. University adminstration predicts that figure could more than double if a proposal to include bedbugs in total enrollment meets approval from the Nebraska Board of Regents on April 16.
60,000
50,000
40,000
30,000
20,000
0
2006-07 2007-08
2008-09
2009-10 2010-11 2011-12
2012-13 (predicted)
SOURCE: INSTITUTIONAL RESEARCH AND PLANNING
Single insect poised to increase university average, academic ranking maren westra daily world-herald BUREAU
LINCOLN— Ralph Watson, bedbug, is on the fast track to success. The first in his family to go to college, Watson is poised to not only survive at the University of Nebraska’s flagship campus, but thrive. Watson, a sophomore social sciences major, transferred to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln this spring after completing more than 40 credits at Iowa State University. He is minoring in Spanish and, unlike most students enrolled in multiple academic programs, Watson is set to graduate in just four short years. Watson’s arrival at UNL wasn’t intentional, but he said it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. “At ISU, getting to class was a struggle every single day,” he said. “But here, I always know I can catch a ride on a Husker Cat. They’ll take me anywhere I need to go.” Watson lived in what he described as a “shady” apartment in Ames, Iowa. On Jan. 5, a UNL student came to visit, and Watson accidentally fell asleep in
See Enrollment: Page 2
WARRENWATCH All you can eat, Buffett! Enjoys barbacoa tacos with medium and corn salsas, sources say Midlands
Chatelain: Still really sorry about that column, Martinez Seriously, they said I have to mean it. Let me buy you a beer sometime? Sports
See Genius: Page 2
COMING SUNDAY
Omaha weather
Startup rapping band 311 gaining popularity Omaha youths enjoy fresh beats, rhymes from underground hip-hop group GO
Today’s forecast High: Xallians Low: Humanity Full report: Page 6B
Index Advice..................3E Comics.................4E Marketplace..........4D Movies............4&5go Obituaries.............3B Opinion.............4&5B TV.........................6E 50 PAGES
75 CENTS
THE DAILY WORLD-HERALD is THE 2012 ITERATION OF THE DAILY HALFASSKAN. THE DAILY HALFASSKAN WAS FIRST PRINTED APRIL 1, 1975. THE EDITORIAL CONTENT OF THE DAILY HALFASSKAN IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND SHOULD BY NO MEANS BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY USE OF SIMILARITIES TO REAL PEOPLE OR EVENTS, SAVE FOR PUBLIC FIGURES AND EVENTS, ARE ACCIDENTAL AND PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
2A
main news
Friday, march 30, 2012
Breaking
BREAKING NEWS
Brad
Lampooning the latest news. By Chance Solem-Pfeifer
See Chance’s sports commentary on Page 2C For Chance’s latest musings, go to .com.com/SolemPfiefer
Important story of national concern The associated press
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Helloise DEAR HELLOISE: My house just gets so dirty this time of year and I wish I had time to keep it clean, but with work it never stays tidy. It seems like I’m always using dishes and clothes in my day-to-day life. Help! -Marge from Des Moines Marge, you are just the sweetest thing. With dishes the main thing is to wash t h e m , so they d o n ’ t pile up, fall and kill your child. Don’t let your yucky plates stack up Helloise too high or your child will be the one who pays the price with his life. DEAR HELLOISE: Sometimes I just get to be the silliest goose and iron all of my clothes for the fun of it. My wife says it wastes electricity. Any tips on how I can iron my entire wardrobe without wasting power? Love your stuff! -James “The Iron Man” from Arlington James, you’re just a quack and a half. I watched “Iron Man” last year and loved it. Except for the violence. That has no place in the cinema. I would recommend only ironing your clothes every few months. To save power use an open flame of some kind, like a blowtorch or something that’s friendly to the environment. But keep your hair away from the fire. I would hate to have you suffer the hellfire agony of third-degree burns on your scalp. Boo, no fun at all.
DEAR HELLOISE: My firstborn, Alex, heads off to elementary school for the first time today, and I’ve never packed a lunch before. I’ll admit I’m a little anxious about putting the wrong thing in his lunchbox. I thought about applesauce, but is it right to teach our children that pious solid foods can be served as unseemly sauces? Is that good for the American family? Love you! Jill in Austin Jill, you remind me of my grandma. What a tickle monster she was. Your thoughts about applesauce are dead on. It sends a dangerous message to Alex, as though you might chew up his food for him and spit it out like a lovely mother bird. He needs to grow up so the other kids don’t curb stomp him to death’s door. But if you do decide to serve applesauce, I would recommend a container of some kind and not pouring it directly in the lunchbox. Just a little Helloise hint. Love you more! DEAR HELLOISE: There’s an alley cat that frequents the space between my house and garage. I know I should be tolerant of all creatures, but I just don’t like the look of him. My daughter wants to pet him behind his little ears, but I worry the beast in him may soon spring forth. What do I do? “Scaredy” Kat in Dallas Meeeeoowwww! Kat, your instincts are correct. Feral cats can be a very tricky situation. While their little whiskers can be cute as a bug in a rug, they’ve been known to carry diseases like rabies and HIV. I would think twice about letting your daughter get her jollies making a mischievous feline friend. Contact the writer: chancesolempfeifer@dailyworldherald.com
daily world-herald
Kids are going nuts for this new “Hunger Games” movie. Can I play? I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Now I’m hungry.
called, “The Tebow Show.” I’ve always loved sports or, as they’re now called, “Tebow Games.”
“Hunger Games” has been taking flack from some critics who think the film is too violent. I heard Genghis Khan saw it and left the theater. And he took millions of lives.
Lindsay Lohan claims she’s finally over her legal troubles. Then she hung out with O.J. Simpson, and they both committed crimes.
Tim Tebow said he was “excited” to play for the New York Jets nearly 50 times at a press conference earlier this week. I wonder how excited Jets fans will be once they see him throw.
Who loves that E*Trade baby? I love that baby.
Tim Tebow is a God-fearing man. Surprised the Saints didn’t take a chance on him, given the religious connotations in their team name.
National employment figures for March are in. Can’t be worse than the Nebraska men’s basketball team.
Remember when Obama bowed to Japanese Emperor Akihito? What if he had Tebow-ed?!
Mitt Romney recently dined with his supporters at a rally in Ohio. But all Mitt Romney ate was a whole bunch of money. That wouldn’t even taste good.
Michelle Obama is scheduled to speak in Omaha. She thought about Grand Island, but it’s not even an island.
I turned on ESPN the other day or, as it’s now
Genius: Academic all-star enjoys research, literature Continued from Page 1 the lining of his backpack. A few days later, he found himself on campus in an Abel Hall dorm room. Although Watson remembers the name of the student who brought him to UNL, he did not want to disclose it for fear of hurting the student’s reputation. “Unfortunately, there’s a pretty negative stance on bedbugs at this university, so I don’t want to cause any trouble for him. All I can say is that he was very hospitable,” he said. Watson is taking 18 credit hours this semester. Although the class load is rigorous, he said it’s what he needs to graduate on time. The decision to earn a degree came after what Watson described as a dark time in his life. “I was out partying every night, wantonly biting and eating and destroying everything in my path,” he said. “But then I woke up one day
kyle bruggeman/daily world herald
Ralph Watson, bedbug, poses for a photo on Tim Sullivan Thursday afternoon in Sullivan’s dorm room. and thought, ‘Wow, this needs to change.’ A few weeks later,
I was an official ISU student.” Bedbug scholarships are
scarce, so Watson funds his education with a job in the UNL entomology program. He described his work as mostly research-based. According to Gary Hein, director of entomology, UNL scientists are attempting to develop a non-mammal food diet for bedbugs. Watson’s job is to test the samples for both taste and nutrition. “It’s a really promising enterprise, but so far we haven’t been able to come up with anything good enough to sustain (the bedbugs),” Hein said. “Until then, don’t be too mad if you get bitten. A bug’s gotta eat.” Watson hopes to use his degree in social sciences and his knowledge of Spanish to help Latino and Hispanic immigrants adjust to life in the United States. “I wanted to pursue a degree that would allow me to leave my mark on people,” he said. Contact the writer: marenwestra@dailyworldherald.
Enrollment: Infestation may help school reach ambitious goal Continued from Page 1 this plan, UNL could even reach enrollments larger than prestigious universities such as Harvard and Yale. “We’re looking the beginning of a new era for UNL,” Whitehouse said. “We have to be cautious at this point, but I truly believe we’re going to see a university more competitive with Big Ten peer institutions in almost every enrollment-related way.” Early proposals also included adding the bugs in UNL’s international student count, but were struck down due to a lack of space in the Selleck Quadrangle. To accommodate the bugs, officials have proposed a moderately priced “bedbug village,” a small array of houses occupying a 3-square-foot section of
Crows: Marvelous bird draws crowd Continued from Page 1 presence of a mystic city bird. “My grandfather used to tell stories of crows and their flights, but the way he described it, it sounded like a fairy tale, to be honest with you,” said Omaha resident Mark Martinez. “He was telling the truth, that old bastard. He was telling the truth.” The crow spent 45 minutes in front of the mall, during which time it fell asleep, bounced around the sidewalk, tried to eat a penny and defecated four times. “How can anyone be concerned with any of life’s problems after watching this?” said King, as he watched the crow throw up a halfeaten cricket. “It’s magnificent.” The watchers were very passive, warning others not to come near the bird in an attempt to keep the scene intact. “That’s not how nature works,” whispered Shun, repeatedly shushing the Dodge Street traffic. “We don’t make the crow move. Nature does, and we wait.” That waiting eventually paid off, when the crow took flight a second time, bringing cheers among the crowd. “This is love,” said Emily Waterorth, who has plans to visit the cranes this weekend after being inspired by the crow. Watching the crow disappear over Fuddruckers, people began to realize what they had seen and how special it was. “That crow wasn’t the only one who flew today,” King said. “My spirit defied gravity. God, I just can’t wait for the cranes.” Though the crow chowed down on all manner of garbage during its time in front of Crossroads Mall, Shun insisted that “trash bird” is a pejorative term. “You wouldn’t want to labeled by what you eat, would you?” she argued. “Crows love garbage, but it does not define them.”
Contact the writer: tylerkeown@dailyworldherald.com
the corner of the 14th and Avery surface parking lot on the university’s City Campus. Constructed primarily of cardboard, glitter-glue sticks and love, the estimated $20 project would, according to associate director of facilities Glenn Schumman, “still be nicer than Cather Hall,” and could be completed early 2014. In the meantime, UNL would begin the relocation of the parking spot’s one regular occupant. “Ultimately it may not be the best solution,” Schumann said. “But it’s elegant and doesn’t take up any extra parking or dorm space. Plus, each facade is going to have tiny windows drawn on with marker, or sometimes a cool lightning bolt. We’ve also set aside this one-foot block so they can park their tiny cars or whatever.” Hunt said she has seen the
plans for the new housing development and said it would be “super adorable,” providing an additional draw for sex-legged arthropods still on the fence about coming to big universities such as UNL. “Like 30,000 big,” she said with a wink. Options still under consideration include simply giving the bugs run of the unfinished Innovation Campus. Perlman concluded Thursday’s press conference by confirming anyone arguing against the new enrollment policy was “absolutely speciesist ... Definitely.” He then went on to field totally bigoted questions about bedbugs’ ability to pay tuition or display basic facsimiles of cognitive reasoning. “That’s not a view … we want associated with the university,”
Perlman said. “I would hope we can recognize this as a time to move beyond that sort of rhetoric.” Both the enrollment policy and housing project remain under review until the Regents’ meeting. If the proposals are voted down, Perlman said he is still unsure where the extra severalthousand students would come from or where the hell they’d live and park. Perlman also said he is unsure whether UNL could use similar tactics to achieve goals such as doubling the number of nationally recognized faculty, but promised to “definitely explore that possibility.” Cimex lectularius are currently recognized in every U.S. state. Contact the writer: iansacks@dailyworldherald.com
5 things with Eric Kamler Name: Eric Kamler Age: 20 Who: Junior agricultural economics major at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Association of Students of the University of Nebraska president. Here are five things Kamler couldn’t live without. 1. My Alpha Gamma Rho pledge paddle “Ever since I first found myself wrapped in the throes of my closely knit East Campus brotherhood, I wondered how I ever lived life without my pledge paddle, Moses. Conveniently slung over my backpack during the week — or just strapped to my bare back on the weekends — Moses never fails to prove its worth. When someone’s in my way on the sidewalk, disagreeing with me at an ASUN meeting, or just when Kaitlin (Mazour) and Kyle (Wroblewski) have forgotten their place, my paddle is there to keep y’all in line.” 2. My tractor “As anyone who has spent more than five seconds on my Facebook page would know, I like tractors. Most of all, I like my tractor from back home named Abraham. It’s a convenient way to get from class to Walmart every day, and it has this nifty compartment for me to store my shotguns. Ma and Pa weren’t too crazy about Abraham leaving the farm, but I convinced them Christ came to me in a dream. (He really did come to me in a dream and tell me to run for ASUN president, but that’s beside the point.)” 3. My American flag lapel pin “With all the anti-Americans running around campus these days, I like to always have an American flag proudly displayed on my suit jacket. People may look at me and say, ‘He’s a white, Christian male from small-town Nebraska, but is he really American?’ I think my American flag lapel pin clears up any discrepancies.” 4. The 2012 ASUN election results “It’s just a few figures printed carefully on a worn copy of my favorite Bible passage, but this year’s ASUN election results really keep me going sometimes. Maybe I’m bored in meatpacking class or weekly chapter, or maybe I’m just feeling down. Whatever the case, I never tire reading about the small percentage of the small percentage of voting UNL students that voted for me. I think my life has peaked with this victory.” 5. My fraternity brothers “After the rousing success of having the entirety of AGR in the audience to support me at the DailyER Nebraskan’s Mass Debate, I’ve decided to bring them with me to any and all occasions where I may need a little encouragement. Taking tests is much more enjoyable with my house yelling from the back of the lecture hall. Grocery shopping, doing laundry, even going to the bathroom. Everything’s better with a cheering section. ” Contact the writer: haileykonnath@dailyworldherald.com