A poem dedicated to the man I didn’t match with on Tinder

By Aine Hunt Humor Columnist

When I find myself craving another’s affection I open this app and receive several rejections

But I never expected I would receive one from you

The guy I see in Newhouse, you know who

The one with the face and the smile and hair

He likes me, he’s seen me, I swear.

One time in food.com, he let me cut him in line

Well, not really, I sort of didn’t even see there was a line

Either way I took it as a Godgiven sign

Because what are the chances that both of us were there

Standing in line ordering bagels, it was a sexual love affair

Well, I have to admit the chances are pretty high

I know when his class gets out, I from page 5

Nedaw

cannot deny.

But now, as I sit in my bed alone

I swipe through this stupid app, clutching my phone

When suddenly his name and his face illuminate my room

And my heart and my lower half start to go boom

He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more

Even though in his last picture he’s standing next to another girl

Oh wait, that’s his sister, cut that last line

If only he knew what I would do if he were mine.

My hands are shaking as I pray to whatever God there may be

That someone above knows that this is the only man for me

I mean we’re perfect together, everyone knows that I’m funny and smart and he’s…nice to look at I’m gonna swipe right on the count of three

“If I have a patient that’s a ‘normal body weight’ that tells a doctor that they have an eating disorder, the common response is, ‘just eat a little bit less or more, but you look fine,’” Chaffee said.

At SU, students have experienced similar interactions with counselors at the Barnes Center at The Arch who work in Eating Disorder Support, with many saying that their demand for support is met with limited resources and hesitancy, given their weight or the frequency of episodes.

Shannon Feeney-Andre, SU’s executive director of communications, said in an email that the Barnes Center refers students to treatment resources in order to help them access greater care as part of its treatment program. Though Chaffee explained this is positive, when counseling centers like the Barnes Center are overwhelmed by patient load they won’t be able to serve all students in need, she said.

MJ Gray, a senior studying geography, policy studies and environmental sustainability policy, explained that though the resources she was given in eating disorder support were helpful, they only sought to treat her in a surface-level way, she said.

“I still wasn’t calling (my eating disorder) what it was, and neither did they. They were perfectly fine to not help me really,” Gray said. “They kind of just passed me off to the nutritionist.”

Another student, who is earning her master’s degree in advertising at SU and preferred to remain anonymous, called eating disorder support when she was a freshman. On the phone, the student answered intake questions and was told there was a long waitlist to get an appointment with the center. However, because she was in crisis, the student got an appointment.

“It took me a few years to realize that they took me in right away because they deemed I was in crisis,” the student said. “But I didn’t get a dietitian until the following semester, even though they said I was in crisis.”

The student committed to the recovery program and went to the school-provided therapist but, after a few sessions, the message she was receiving began to change. Instead of helping her from page 5 author experiences to stories in which she was a bystander, but still found a way to put them into poetry.

Dutton spoke about how being in a space so connected with the writing community has so much value. She added how she remembers attending talks like this and how valuable they were to her as a writer.

“I just think it’s a rich exchange and I think it’s an opportunity to share and to be together and to have some calming ground,” Dutton said. “It feels really precious to have the gift of someone’s time and their attention.”

One, two, three—

So we didn’t match on Tinder, but I still see him around That Newhouse guy that I was so close to taking to pound town I wish him the best, although it didn’t work out with an eating disorder, the student’s therapist told her she was just in a “phase” and after a few more months, the eating disorder support center graduated the student from the program.

Naturally, the student said, she relapsed. So, she went back to eating disorder support at the Barnes Center.

“I was so angry and resentful to be back there, I wasn’t engaged at all and I remember her saying to me ‘you know, your heart could stop,’” the student said. “I was like ‘yeah, you sure about that? Because you told me this was just a phase.’” program and a member of the committee that plans the reading series, said the series is important since there aren’t many opportunities on campus for students to hear from contemporary authors.

The counselor who worked with the student has since left the university and the student said she doesn’t believe all students who utilize eating disorder support have negative experiences. But the student said SU’s treatment model is lacking a multidisciplinary approach to eating disorders that accounts for the complex mental and physical relationship that an eating disorder inherently presents.

In her email, Feeney-Andre explained the Barnes Center employs a multidisciplinary approach designed to recognize and treat eating disorders and work on the specific needs of each student.

But in Gray’s treatment experience, she said she felt her mental and physical recovery were treated separately, only being recommended to a nutritionist instead of a therapist to help get to the root cause of her eating disorder and not being offered alternative forms of support.

That support can come from other places besides clinical providers, said Holly Lowery, chief operating officer of Ophelia’s Place. Located in Liverpool, Ophelia’s Place is another non-profit like Safe Space that incorporates a multidisciplinary approach by providing support services, connection to treatment, harm reduction resources and support groups to anybody impacted by eating disorders and body oppression. Lowery said patients are urged to have compassion for themselves across all of their programming.

Lowery explained that, for many people, eating disorders function as a protective shield. Recovery can feel vulnerable for someone who is stepping out of their armor for the first time, especially a young person, she said.

“We know restricting or binging and purging isn’t what we want for ourselves long term.

Harwell said that giving students a shared space where they get to read the book, ask questions of the author and hear the pieces read aloud is impactful.

“It’s rare to get to hear poetry aloud once you’ve studied it and it’s a whole different experience,” Harwell said.

And by best I mean I hope that the rest of his life can only be described as a sexual drought I’ve deleted that app, I want you guys to know Instead, I downloaded Hinge, where all the Whitman hotties go. ahunt04@syr.edu

No matter what, you are worth more than that,” Lowery said. “But it’s okay to still be in the messy middle of it.”

Since Mergler found comfort in alternative modes of therapy during her time in residential treatment, she prioritized them as she developed Safe Space, she said.

Both women emphasized that recovery is a personal journey, and different modes of therapy and treatment will resonate better with different people solely based on their unique qualities. They support an interdisciplinary approach instead of a one-size-fits-all one, and believe that fewer students at SU would be struggling if more of these resources were readily accessible.

But it’s not a conversation for SU to have during NEDAW and then put away until the following year, Gray said. Instead, she believes it should be a constant conversation, and awareness weeks like NEDAW shouldn’t just be performative measures.

“This is an issue that a lot of college students are dealing with, especially young women, and it’s really hard to ask for help,” Gray said. “Even if they just had a little more training, maybe I wouldn’t feel so alone.”

The anonymous student said it isn’t the responsibility of students in recovery to be the voice of eating disorders on campus.

“I don’t need to be a champion of my own cause. You’re a champion of your own cause just by existing,” the student said. “The school doesn’t need to have an event or make some bullsh*t post like, ‘it’s Eating Disorder Awareness Week’… If I was deemed to be in crisis, I shouldn’t have had to wait three months to see a dietitian.”

Mergler said that as daunting as recovery may seem, the first step begins with just three little words — “I need help.”

From there, she said it becomes one day, one hour, one minute at a time — the fight to reclaim worth and power — but a fight that does not happen in solitude. With a multidisciplined, clinical support team and personal alternative modes of therapy, recovery is real, possible and happening every single day, she said.

“Human connection fights eating disorders. So that is the first step toward recovery,” Mergler said. “You are enough. You shouldn’t ever have to face your fight alone.” sophieszyd@dailyorange.com dents often struggle with or don’t feel comfortable reading, but talks like these help.

Dutton’s talk gave students an opportunity to better understand her book, which can be seen as a difficult read for people who don’t feel comfortable reading poetry, Harwell said. She also said that the talk, combined with the discussions with professors and the analyses they do in the class, make the works more interesting and fulfilling to read.

Concerts This Weekend

Funk ‘n Waffles

Start your weekend with a performance from Nashville-based artist Sunny War at Funk ‘n Waffles. The country musician will be joined by folk rock group Honey For the Bees, a Syracuse based band with backgrounds in theater and queer advocacy.

WHEN: Friday, March 3 at 8 p.m. PRICE: $18.22

Redgate

Horse around at Redgate this Friday and see Phunk Musket, Nancy Dunkle and Sammy Curcuru take the stage. Phunk Musket is a five-person band that’s been making its way through the northeast. The band will be joined by SU students Nancy Dunkle and Sammy Cucuru and the set will start at 10 p.m. Direct message @ redgatecuse on Instagram for the address.

WHEN: Friday, March 3 at 10 p.m.

PRICE: $8 at the door

The Lost Horizon

Kick off your Saturday night by heading to The Lost Horizon to see performances from local rock bands Sympathy and Bad Bloom. The concert is being presented by After Dark and Mosh Retirement and will also feature Sound Discard and Charlie Wittman. Tickets can be purchased online.

WHEN: Thursday, September 15 at 7 p.m. PRICE: Starting at $24.51 as of today.

The Garden

This Saturday, stop by The Garden to see the New York based rock band, Seeing Double. Artists, Saint Luke and Teddy Holly will join the band. Seeing Double was created in Oneonta, NY and the five-person band is currently on tour. For the address, direct message @the. garden.syr on Instagram.

WHEN: Saturday, March 4 at 9:30 p.m., with doors opening at 9 p.m. Price: $7 at the door

St. Paul’s Syracuse

The Symphoria Orchestra will be beginning its March program with a performance on Sunday March 5. It will open with Carlos Simon’s “An Elegy: A Cry from the Grave,” before being joined by lutenist Michael Leopald and pianist Paul Di Folco. Tickets can be purshased through Symphoria’s website.

WHEN: Sunday, March 5 at 3 p.m.

PRICE: General admission starting at $33, and $5 for students with valid student ID where people care about each other and support each other,” Dutton said. “I would also say that it’s especially gratifying to read to people who you can tell are really listening.”

Sarah

Harwell, associate director of the creative writing

The series also works as a great way to help students better understand the works of these authors. Harwell added how poetry is a form of writing that many stu -

Even Dutton got something out of the event, and said she doesn’t take the opportunity to connect with the writing community and her audience for granted. “It was such a warm welcome and this is clearly a community

As students filed out, some eagerly stood in line waiting for Dutton to sign their copy of her book and briefly chat with her about her reading. She just captured so many beautiful moments of her life into poems and it kind of inspires me to want to capture small moments of my life,” Fitzpatrick said. “Whether that be in poetry, or in other ways like through photos or just notes or a journal.” ommokoka@syr.edu