Hum r!

What do you do when all the laundry machines are full?

Quiz: Which ongoing campus construction project are you?

1. Take someone else’s clothes out and put them on the floor

2. Mix your laundry with someone else’s laundry; I don’t have time to take it out

3. Wait for someone to come get their laundry and apologize for the inconvenience

4. I don’t do laundry, my clothes don’t get that gross, just two-week-old sweat

5. Climb into the machine and wait for someone to open the door so you can hiss at them

By Liana Slomka, Spencer Bauman, Frida Ruiz & Caroline Rasmussen Head Humor editors & Humor Contributors

If you could compensate for the wage gap by paying your female coworker the difference out of your paycheck, would you?

1. She should pay me for the privilege of getting to work with me

2. I’m unemployed, so, frankly, I don’t know how to answer this question

3. I already did

4. I would pay half if she’s nice.

5. I am a woman

Do you think you’ve seen a ghost on campus?

1. I think there’s one on my hall, but I’ve been leaving notes for it and it’s not responding, so either I made it up or it just hates me

2. Yes, they are my only friend

3. No, just my reflection in the SPIA fountain

4. Yes, but I can lift more

5. I am the ghost on campus

You have to get to the airport tomorrow. What’s your plan?

1. Take the train

2. Take an Uber

3. Send an email to hoagiemail with blind faith that someone else also has a flight at the same time

4. Scooter

5. Guilt your friend with a car into driving you by promising them coffee and hoping they’ll forget by the time you get back

How do you carry your stuff to the shower?

1. Shower caddy

2. In my backpack

3. Placing them all on my arms Tetris-style

4. I don’t need stuff — I just rinse with water and brown paper towels

5. I only shower outside; the rain is my shower

Answers

1. If you answered mostly “1,” you’re Hobson College: You are the future. People will be glad for you to be a part of campus. You will facilitate many meaningful connections.

2. If you answered mostly “2,” you’re the Engineering Complex: You are always drowning in p-sets and your first year was purely pre-reqs. At least you know the hard work is worth it and you’re guaranteed a job.

3. If you answered mostly “3,” you’re the Art Museum: You are the center of attention. You’re the first one up every morning, and you make sure everyone knows it. You have so much beauty to offer the world, if they can only wait a few years for it to emerge.

4. If you answered mostly “4,” you’re the Dillon Gym renovation: You have commitment to renovating your physique, despite the inconvenience. You’re super into squash, but, like, in a cool way. You embody the principles of Princeton Builds Wellness.

5. If you answered mostly “5,” you’re the Geo-Exchange Projects: People may find you hard to keep track of, but you’re just doing your best to know what’s going on in every corner of this campus. Despite your haters, you can sleep well knowing you’re doing your best to live a sustainable lifestyle.