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Princeton introduces ‘0-hundred level’ courses for those of us who no longer wish to be academically challenged
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Spencer Bauman
Associate Satire Editor
For the 2022-23 school year, the Office of the Registrar has proposed new “0-hundred level” courses for those of us who no longer want the academic rigor of a “top-tier university.”
In the new “0-hundred level” courses, students will not be allowed to take notes, but will be expected to have their com-
LAZARENA LAZAROVA / THE DAILY PRINCETONIAN Seats in McCosh 50, one of the largest lecture halls at the University. puters open to a random attention-drawing website, such as Cool Math Games or an online shopping site.
“These courses are geared toward people who open a Google Doc entitled ‘Untitled Document’ and don’t write a single note down for the 80-minute class lecture,” said one administrator from the Office of the Registrar.
When news of the change reached the undergraduate population, many expressed their support.
“When I applied to an academically challenging institution, I didn’t realize that I’d have to actually be academically challenged. I think I’ve had enough academic challenges for now,” Fay Ling ’25 said. “Plus, these new courses will finally allow me to fill my schedule with classes that will teach me stuff I can actually use in real-life, unlike econ and practical ethics.”
These courses will all have precept sections, but your grade will be lowered if you attend past the first week. The lectures will only consist of back-row seating.
Spencer Bauman is a firstyear intending to concentrate in Applications of Google Docs with a certificate in multiplication and long division. He is an associate editor for the satire section.
New campus initiative to replace campus sidewalks with icy mudslides
Emma Mortiary and David Cabrera
Staff and Contributing Writer
Taking inspiration from the Lewis Library walkways, Princeton construction crews have been advised to replace all campus concrete sidewalks with slip-andslide-style pathways. This project follows the recently adopted Princeton construction maxim: “If it ain’t broke, fix it.”
After observing students enjoying the 45 degree downhill on Washington Road following the snowstorm last week, overseers have decided to move forward with this new comprehensive construction initiative.
“The mix of partially melted snow, looselypacked earth, and moist mud will create the perfect recipe for an exhilarating tumble to class,” said one construction manager in an interview with The Daily PrintsAnything.
Toplin Ober ’23 anxiously anticipated the completion of this new project.
Ben Sliding ’22, who drives an electric scooter, initiated a petition against the action, claiming that the project will make it harder for him to cut off pedestrians with his $400 machine.
University President Christopher L. Eisgruber ’83 has identified this project in his annual letter to the community as “imperative and central to the spirit of the Princeton community going forward.”
When asked about the issue of accessibility, University project managers confessed that “we didn’t really think about that.”
Construction of this project is anticipated to finish sometime in late 2025.
Emma Moriarty is a senior concentrating in the School of Public and International Affairs and a staff writer in the satire section. David Cabrera is a first-year contributing writer for the satire section who intends to concentrate in economics.
A student gets a little muddy en route to Fine Hall.
Cartoon
Dirty Snow
By Paige Min, Staff Cartoonist
