Evolution Health & Fitness

I came across this question recently and it really challenged me: “what if you could only complain about 3 things per day?”. The question requires you to put yourself in some parallel universe where each day you are gifted 3 complaints, criticisms or judgements and then once they are used up, you are struck dumb for the rest of the day. How long would it take you to? Breakfast? Lunch? It certainly made me think. Revisiting a typical day I have to concede that I typically use up my 3 ‘strikes’ quite early and also waste them on some insignificant little things like the driving habits of pretty much everyone else on the road, what’s in the news and typically (because I’m British aren’t I?)… the weather. This bothers me. You see I am an optimist; an encourager, and I hope a compassionate person, well known by my friends and family (and clients) as having a sunny, bright disposition. And yet, despite this, run a ‘complaints audit’ on what’s coming out of my mouth on a typical day and it seems that I can be pretty grouchy and liberal with my complaints and criticisms. We all know someone who can pee on every bonfire; find some fault even with something that is essentially good: “ it was a good film although I didn’t like x actor”. These people are usual in a permanent state of discontent, usually comparing everything and everyone with others and finding them wanting in some way. I say ‘these people’ but maybe the truth is that often that’s my behaviour too. One of my sisters sees something of this in herself, a need, almost a drive to give balance by giving multiple points of view. She doesn’t see it as coming from a place of negativity and certainly I don’t see her as someone always wanting to find criticism. But it’s tricky …. I challenge you to take a listen to yourself, not just to see how quickly you use your 3 ‘strikes’, but also to see if you can recognise the negative ‘counter’ added in to something that is essentially good: “it was a really good meal… not the best I’ve ever had, but good non the less”. We see this at work in Social Media all the time. I can’t count the number of Facebook groups I’ve left because of the constant air of criticism. One that springs to mind is a group for people who like using Chalk Paint for projects in their homes. Some householder would innocently post a picture of their newly painted front door with a comment about how happy and proud they are of it. Like a shot the replies come in , “yuck that colour is dreadful” or “are you going to leave your windows like that?”. Opinions, opinions that NO ONE asked for! Thankfully they’ll usually be some kind souls who celebrate with the householder (even if it IS hideous). So tomorrow as you wake, I challenge you to set yourself 3 Strikes and see how long you last before you’re out! I’ve love to know. Drop me a note and let me know would you?

Sarah is an Associate Therapist at So Healthy Chiropractors in Matlock, dealing with emotional health and behavioural change. She is based at Ogston Reservoir as well as seeing people in their own homes. Find her at www.sarahkallend.com or on Facebook @theheartspeaker