College Admission Mania Leads to Decision Day

Last weekend, I met my cousin at a girls’ club volleyball tournament to watch her daughter compete.

I envisioned a fun Saturday morning catching up with my cousin and cheering my niece on to victory.

When I arrived, I noticed my cousin appeared anxious and agitated—but, hey, club ball does that to parents.

During a break in the action, she suggested we visit the café, where we could carry on a conversation without the cacophonous commotion of whistles, hollers and hoots.

We sat down, and my cousin confessed she was consumed with worry, but not about the game. Then, she revealed the root of her angst: Her daughter had begun the college admissions process.

It’s been ages since my calendar operated on an academic school year, but I’ll never forget college admission mania.

May 1 is D-Day, or College Decision Day, for high school seniors.

Many students have a mere 10 days remaining to sign a letter of intent to enroll and submit a deposit to hold their spot in the freshman class of 2023.

Collegiate D-Day doesn’t compare to the enormity of storming the beaches of Normandy, but for seniors, it takes almost as much strategy and agility.

It’s been 10 years since my oldest graduated from San Clemente High School, but I remember the cruelty of classifying potential colleges into a trio of categories.

To this day, these three words send a shiver up my spine: safety, target, and reach.

My niece is a high school sophomore, but the college admissions bug is highly contagious, and she’s contracted an acute case.

During her spring break, she participated in a weeklong tour of colleges. And, like many in the group, she discovered her dream school.

Hearing the words “dream school” made my heart wrench and stomach lurch. As a senior, my older son set his sights on his dream school.

I still remember the day I went to the mailbox and found a small envelope, not a big envelope, bearing the college’s name.

SHELLEY MURPHY

Recalling that heartache with my cousin caused her to question why a college would accept one student and reject another when their applications appear alike.

I told her speculating why some students get into certain colleges and others don’t is pointless—it is a question without an answer.

Changing topics, my cousin asked, “She’s got good grades, she has extracurriculars, she’s involved in team sports, she volunteers her time—what else should I do?”

My reply, “Take a deep breath.”

While I have enormous empathy for students and parents in the trenches, I don’t have solutions. So, instead, I shared with her my sentiments.

Your daughter may not get into her dream school, but she will go to college.

It’s not where she goes, but what she does once she arrives. What she learns and how she applies it are far more important than where she learns.

From The Archives

This 1920s photo shows the Gazebo at Capistrano Beach Palisades, with the Dana Point headlands in the distance and cars on PCH below. This photo is available for viewing and purchase at danapointhistorical.org.

There will be disappointments—lots. I don’t know anyone who’s come through the college experience unscathed. She won’t receive a scholarship to play volleyball; save your club fees for school tuition.

Currently, her major is business, but that’s apt to change; look at the big picture a college presents.

Since my relaxing Saturday morning morphed into a trek down the old collegiate memory lane, I decided to text both my boys about my day.

I texted the one who did not get into his dream school and later realized it’s one of the best things that’s happened. And I texted the one who had his pick of universities and selected a state school. Today, my cousin feels like everything in the world hinges on where her daughter goes to school. Hopefully, in hindsight, she’ll realize whether her daughter is deferred, rejected or accepted, she’ll land where she is meant to land. DP For more than 20 years, Shelley Murphy and her husband have lived in San Clemente, where she raised her two sons. She’s a freelance writer and has been a contributor to Picket Fence Media since 2006.

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WEEK’S SOLUTION:

Each Sudoku puzzle consists of a 9x9 grid that has been subdivided into nine smaller grids of 3x3 squares. To solve the puzzle, each row, column and box must contain each of the numbers 1 to 9. Puzzles come in three grades: easy, medium and difficult. Level: Medium

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If you are interested in adopting Totoro, please visit petprojectfoundation.org to download an adoption application form, and you will be contacted about making an interaction appointment. DP

by Susan Parmelee