Senior Dating—Ghosting

Awidow of less than a year, mid70s, emailed me. She asked not to be identified by her true name, so I will call her Beth.

Beth wrote, “I met a man on the dating site Zoosk. We corresponded back and forth a few times, with me being very cautious and with him acting flirty, saying things like, ‘If you like cruising, my bags are packed.’

“He gave me his phone number, and I called one time using *69 to hide my number. We talked for 90 minutes, laughing often, with him sharing much about his family.

“This went on for a few weeks before we agreed to meet for a date. He said he lived an hour and a half north of me and was willing to travel to visit me. He said his sister lived in my town and it would be no problem to come my way.

“He texted that he had made dinner reservations and called me ‘Sunshine’ in his texts. I was happy to hear that. We met in a nice restaurant a month ago. He was waiting at the table and greeted me with a kiss. We had an enjoyable

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three-hour talk. I felt comfortable. He paid. I offered to share, but he refused.

ing indicated that this man was not interested. Everything he said and did seemed honest.

“I even checked the obituary notices; my only explanation for his behavior was that he had died.

BY TOM BLAKE

“He held my hand while walking me to my car and said he wished I was not leaving town since we had just met. He kissed me again as I sat in my car before I drove away.

“He texted that he had gotten home safely, and stated it was great meeting me and he looked forward to seeing me again soon. I texted back, stating that I also had enjoyed the evening.

“When I didn’t hear anything for several days, I sent another text, saying I would really enjoy another date with him. There was no response.

“I presume I will never hear from him again. Since I am somewhat clueless about today’s senior dating game, I wonder what happened and if this is called ghosting? I am baffled; noth-

“I have spent many hours crying and feeling rejected; it’s getting better, but I have not forgotten. I will not contact him again.

“If he was in an accident, he could still have contacted me. If he is in a coma, he will either come out of it and possibly call or never come out.

“Why did he ghost me? I think because he is a nice-looking man, still playing the field. Closure will come to me sooner or later.

“If there is truly an interest as it appeared, he will be back in touch again with an explanation. Nothing short of death or a coma will suffice.

“I am a little down, having lost my husband and now my sister. My heart can’t take more grief. I want some comfort, not rejection.”

I responded to Beth: “I’m pleased

Dahlia

Sudoku

BY MYLES MELLOR

Courtesy of the Dana Point Historical Society

Pictured is Young’s Beach Camp, located on Salt Creek, just north of the present Salt Creek Park. A dirt road went down to the beach, and this building was about halfway down. Jim and Steve Young lived in the building and collected $1 from visitors to pay for their keeping the beach clean. This photo is available for viewing and purchase at danapointhistorical.org.

Every week, the Dana Point Times will showcase a historical photo from around the city. If you have a photo you would like to submit for consideration, send the photo, your name for credit as well as the date and location of the photo to sraymundo@picketfencemedia.com come in three grades: easy, medium and difficult. you checked the obituaries to be sure nothing tragic happened to this man. And, yes, your story appears to fall within the definition of ghosting. To you, it seemed like the early stages of a budding romance and then, poof, he was gone.

Each Sudoku puzzle consists of a 9x9 grid that has been subdivided into nine smaller grids of 3x3 squares. To solve the puzzle, each row, column and box must contain each of the numbers 1 to 9.

“I understand, Beth, why you feel so empty. You are still grieving the loss of your husband and your sister. Your feelings are raw. And now, another loss. Senior dating is difficult, and being ghosted adds to that difficulty.

“Hang in there, chin up; someone more ideal for you will come along. Instead of ghosting you, he will hug you.”

Tom Blake is a retired Dana Point business owner and resident who has authored books on middle-aged dating. See his website at findingloveafter50.com.

To comment: tompblake@gmail.com. DP or Picket Fence Media. If you would like to respond to this column, please email us at editorial@sanclementetimes.com.

This loveable little ball of fur is Dahlia, a 1-year-old spayed Lionhead dwarf mix. Though she can sometimes be a tad shy at first meeting, Dahlia warms up quickly. She has a curious nature and likes to explore her surroundings. Dahlia is treat-motivated, litterbox-trained, and a sucker for head scratches. If you meet Dahlia, you’re sure to fall in love.

If you are interested in adopting Dahlia, please visit petprojectfoundation.org/adoptions/ to download an adoption application form. Completed forms can be emailed to animalservices@scdpanimalshelter.org, and you will be contacted about making an interaction appointment.

Sudoku- medium- by Myles Mellor 6 3 2 25 8 7 5 3 7 5 59 4 8 4 2 59 7 731 5