Retirement

Retirement Living Give us three minutes to change your life Jean Atkins with members at an Easter event

Recognising the loneliness that often follows the loss of a partner, one friendship group in Cheshire is helping people take the difficult first step towards socialising again

Deeside Oddfellows, a friendship group based in Saltney, is inviting visitors along to its events for just three minutes.

The unusual offer is based on the ‘Three Minute Carrot Method’, which gives you permission to stop or leave something after three minutes instead of feeling daunted by staying for an hour. The technique was suggested to the group by clinical psychologist and author Dr Jennifer Wild, who was asked for her advice on ways in which people can rebuild social confidence after losing a partner.

Denise Turner, branch secretary of Deeside Oddfellows, a not-for-profit that brings people together in the community for social activities, said: “Trying something

new can be nerve-wracking, especially if it’s the first time an individual has really put themselves in a social setting without having their partner by their side. We’d obviously love people to stay for the entirety of our events, but we also recognise that people need to move at their own pace. So, if you decide that three minutes is enough for you that day, that’s totally fine. If you want to stay longer, then that’s great also.”

Matter of minutes

Dr Wild, who has written a series of blogs for the Oddfellows, commented: “After your three minutes you can decide if you are going to turn around and go home, or if you are going to carry on. You’ll find that more often than not, you will carry on. But by giving yourself permission to leave, it relieves the pressure.” Denise added: “When Dr Wild explained this technique to us, we wanted to share her advice more widely, as it could be the thing that encourages someone to take that one small, positive step forwards.” Jean Atkins, from Chester, who “You can decide has been a group member for two years said: “Going along to meet a new group of people is easier said if you are than done. But once I got over the going to hurdle of first introductions any go home or carry on” concerns just melted away. The Oddfellows couldn’t have made me feel more welcome.” Deeside Oddfellows organises social events for its members across Dr Jennifer Wild, consultant clinical psychologist and associate professor at the University of Oxford the area, and holds regular coffee mornings at its hall on Saltney High Street every Thursday at 10.30am. “Ring or email us ahead of your first event, so we can explain exactly where we meet and can welcome you,” added Denise. Contact Denise on 01244 675757 or email denise.turner@oddfellows.co.uk. Further information about the Oddfellows can be found at oddfellows.co.uk/firststeps

Many have reconsidered their priorities

MOST WANT TO SEE THEIR MONEY SPENT

More than half of over-55s (58 per cent) would like to see the benefits of giving financial help to their family while still alive, a survey commissioned byAviva has found.

Asked whether they would rather leave an inheritance than help younger family members on to the property ladder, the response from the 45-plus age group was evenly split, with 26 per cent agreeing and 25 per cent disagreeing. But among the 75-plus age group, 32 per cent disagreed with this statement, while only 19 per cent agreed.

Matt McGill, managing director of Aviva Equity Release said: “This is perhaps a reflection of the turbulence everyone has been through since we last ran our survey in 2016. It’s been a time of reflection for many and this could have included a resolution to live more for the moment and help loved ones now.”