10 Tips on Getting him to open up
Getting a man to open up and express what they’re thinking or feeling can be frustrating. Men don’t normally express themselves as much as women do, which can be discouraging in a relationship where people are supposed to connect with each other. (Check out
http://waystoconnectwithhim.blogspot.ca/for more great relationship advice). When it comes to getting your man to open up, here are some tips from others who were more successful in doing it.
Begin by first opening up Men can be shy about expressing their feelings and deep thoughts, as being unexpressive is expected when he’s with his friends. To help ease him into the waters of expressing himself, try talking about what’s bothering you about an issue you want him to talk about. By opening up and being vulnerable first, it can help him to follow your example. Just be sure to keep your part of the conversation short, as you want to lead him into opening up, and not using the time for yourself.
Lay off the negative talk for a while People will be reluctant to open up around someone critical, judgemental, or negative. This is because of a fear that they will be judged if they open up to them. So to be sure that he isn’t experiencing this fear, stay away from negative comments and attitudes about others for a while until he feels safe to be vulnerable with you.
Be extra compassionate and concerned Most people will not just open up to anyone, particularly men. People are however more likely to open up around someone who is genuinely concerned about them and demonstrate this through compassion and a real concern over them. So to help you get him to open up to you, be extra compassionate and concerned for him.
Give him time Being concerned for him may take time for it to sink in that you are the kind of person who is safe to be around. So being persistent in compassion and empathy is important. Give him time to see this, and don’t press him too hard.
Let him know vulnerability is something that’s ok Men may believe that they have to uphold a strong and masculine image for you to be attracted to them. By letting him know that vulnerability isn’t something that invalidates his masculinity, it can set aside his fears of opening up to you. Vulnerability is actually an attractive quality in a relationship because it helps people in connecting with each other and you need to let him know this.
Reassure him you aren’t going to talk with your friends Women can sometimes have a reputation of being more open with their friends about issues that men would rather have stayed secret. Remember that men don’t have as much experience in expressing themselves and being vulnerable. As a result, some reassurance is needed in letting him know you aren’t going to talk among your friends about his issues.
Be a guy Being sensitive in how much guys will talk in a conversation is important when you’re waiting for him to open up to you. When women begin to speak, men can believe that they want to express
themselves and as a result, give the conversation over to them expressing themselves. You want to let him know that this discussion is about him opening up. If you go on talking too much, he won’t. Treat him exactly as you would if you were a man when it comes to how much you talk.
Mistaking his silence The way a man processes things, is that they will first collect their thoughts and form a plan in their minds before wanting to talk about it with anyone. As a result, they seem more silent that usual. This is important in getting along with men, because this silence can be viewed as him being closed off to you, when it’s really just how he processes things. Give him the time to process first, and then ask him to open up to you.
Don’t push too hard There are many reasons why men act closed off. The first is because they believe it’s what’s expected of them from other men. Another reason is that they aren’t as expressive and won’t be as experienced as women are. As a result, they may still be at a child’s level when it comes to being vulnerable and expressing their feelings. What’s important is not pushing too hard in making him open up. If this is
done, he could react the opposite way and become even more defensive. Let his friends do it for you Men can feel more comfortable opening up to a guy friend than with a woman sometimes. This is possibly because they know that guys don’t expect anything from them, or just because they are among men. Use this to your advantage and let him open up to his friends instead of you first. Give him time to spend with them, and when they do spend time together, give them space to themselves. This can give them a chance to talk among themselves. After he has talked with his buddies, maybe he’ll feel more comfortable talking about the issue with you.
One of the most frustrating things in a relationship is when men act closed off. Sometimes they have good reasons to be, other times they are just being stubborn. Hopefully through these tips on getting him to open up, you have learnt how to better your relationships with men. Along with, get him to open up about his feelings and thoughts and form a deeper connection with him.
This article is from www.how-to-get-men.com, a website that helps people understand men and the many problems that come up in relationships such as; why he acts distant, how to find love, and more successful dating/relationship advice.
Check out http://waystoconnectwithhim.blogspot.ca/ to learn more on men and marriage.