7 Fears Guys Face Before Getting Married
Before getting married, all guys will have to face their fears. They can vary from man to man, and it doesn’t help that they don’t open up and talk about them. They are usually what are stopping him from proposing, or even getting married. If you could identify them and calm them, then perhaps it would free him in taking the next step forward in the relationship. (Check out http://www.how-to-get-men.com/how-to-land-a-man.php for more ways to calm his fears). So here are some fears men face before getting married.
Will she crowd me? Men don’t like being crowded. In relationships they need to maintain their individuality and be given time and freedom, more so than women do. One of his fears is that his wife will crowd him and not give him room to breathe after they’re married. What’s worse is that during the planning stages of the wedding where a lot of his attention is required, he can reflect this as how married life is going to look and how much of his attention will be needed. Let him take a break from the planning every now and then and don’t crowd him. Remember that planning weddings for guys isn’t as exciting
as women find it. Giving him the space he needs will show him that you know his need for space and that you are capable of taking care of his needs for the rest of his life.
Is there someone better out there? Many people grow up believing in the concept of a soul mate, finding the perfect match. One of his fears may be that he hasn’t found her yet, and that he could be making the mistake of missing out on her, or meeting her after marriage. People need to realize that soul mates aren’t necessarily found, as they are built. Relationships take time, commitment, and work to make beautiful. They aren’t just stumbled upon, so he can stop looking outwards to find her, but look inwards to building one with you.
Will the relationship change? He’s seen it in other couples that have gotten married. He’s seen how it looks when the honeymoon phase is over. Some couples end up hating and fighting each other. One of his fears is that your relationship will change after getting married. Remembering the bad can be a lot easier to remember than the good. Remind him that there are couples that make it, and have exciting and fulfilling lives. All relationships take commitment, learning, and dedication. Let him know that his marriage is not in the hands of fate
alone, but in his hands and will grow as much as he desires and puts in the effort.
His life is no longer up to him After committing to marriage his responsibilities and commitment will no longer be solely for himself, they will become for his wife. If children come later down the road, he will have even less time and energy for himself. His fear is that more and more of his life is disappearing from his hands as he takes these steps forward. Let him know that as much as he gives time and energy to his wife and children, they will be the ones giving it back to him. In the form of; joy, love, purpose, and fulfillment in life. He won’t just be pouring out without receiving anything in return; he will be receiving from the very ones he gives to, which is what love is all about.
What about his freedom? His buddies have probably teased him about how life for him is over, how he won’t have freedom or time to himself. This can create a fear that he will have no freedom after getting married, that his decisions will be left up to his wife.
There is a cost in getting married, and there are sacrifices that come along with marriage. However, what was left out of that train of thought is that there are rewards that come with it also. Where he sacrifices his bachelor lifestyle, there is much to look up to in a married lifestyle. Remind him of the happily married guys he knows.
After marriage, things all go downhill from there Marriage is one of the last anticipated landmarks people look to in life. So the fear that all things go downhill and get less exciting from there is related to getting married. This is a fear he could be having and why he hesitates to commit. It’s unfair that this myth is blamed on marriage. The myth should really be blamed on people who let their lives get so boring. The only way all things go downhill from there, is if people let it happen. People need adventurous goals in their lives to live fulfilling and exciting lives and this is the only thing that will stop a boring life. A wife can help that come about.
She will change Because he’s committed to the marriage, she will change, she will let things slide and perhaps the way she treats him will change as well.
Let him know that if she hasn’t already changed or let things slide after knowing him for such a long time, she isn’t going to change after marriage. They’re just his fears playing in his mind.
We know that men can be stubborn when it comes to opening up about their feelings. Learning what he fears in getting married will help us understand how he thinks. Learning how to respond to his fears can help calm them. Through proper communication you may be able to help him take the next steps forward in a relationship.
This article is from www.how-to-get-men.com, a website that helps people understand men and the many problems that come up in relationships such as; why he acts distant, how to find love, and more successful dating/relationship advice. Check out http://www.how-to-get-men.com/how-to-land-a-man.php to learn more on men and getting married.