8 Beliefs that Hurt Relationships
Starting a new relationship comes along with new and exciting hopes and feelings. However just like anything in life, starting out on the wrong foot can make anything more difficult or even impossible. Having the wrong beliefs about relationships can be something that haunts people, hurting their relationship now or even throughout their lives. (Check out http://www.how-to-getmen.com/how-can-i-find-love.php for more great relationship advice). To recognize them, here are some of the wrong beliefs that can damage your relationship.
Love is found, not built Among the top ideas that hurt relationships and people is the misconception of a soul-mate. People believe that soul-mates are found, that they just hit it off, and then go on to live happily ever after. They believe that the feelings and relationship will just happen naturally and nothing will ever have to be worked through. The truth about relationships is that fighting, the feelings, and love are all things that need to be built in any relationship. They are never just found. Learning, effort, apologizing, and changing are all things that
need to be practiced in order to build a soul mate. Only through them, will people ever see the meaning, love, and connection that they desire in a relationship. Sadly, people break up in relationships without going through the effort of building one because they see their hardship as a sign that they aren’t soul mates.
Fighting is bad, shouldn’t be worked on Fighting is normal in any relationship. The truth about fighting is that it is neither bad nor good. It’s how you handle fights that matters. If fighting is handled correctly, it can actually help the relationship. This is because when we are fighting we are being brutally honest and dealing with the issue instead of ignoring it. Because a beautiful and meaningful relationship is built and not found, fighting the right way is a necessary step in building unity as a couple.
Feelings are everything People put too much emphasis on the feelings they get for someone in a relationship. People will often end a relationship because their feelings for their partner have faded. The truth about feelings for someone is no matter how attractive they are, the feelings will always
fade. If they are really attractive, the feelings may last longer, but they will eventually fade. Putting all of your desire to build a relationship and belief in the relationship on your feelings is a losing gamble. Rather, the hope of a relationship should be in the notion that a relationship is in your hands, and will become as beautiful and fulfilling as people put effort into it.
Being attracted to others People in relationships will often develop crushes and feelings for others outside of it. This can blindside them as they don’t know how to respond or what to do with these feelings. This is normal and doesn’t mean they are with the wrong person. It means they are human, and still capable of falling in love. Consider that if they were with that person, they would be attracted to the person they are currently in a relationship with. People need to understand that there are 2 kinds of love. The first kind is the infatuation and feelings you get over someone new. The other is the kind that is committed and meaningful. A love where regardless of feelings, loyalty and commitment is a priority.
After feelings fade and they will, people are left with what they built in the relationship and the commitment and connection they share with each other. Be careful not to trade what’s short lived, for something that lasts.
Love happens right away or not at all People dating will often weigh a potential partner base on how they feel for them at that time. They sometimes give too little time for love to grow. The truth about love at first sight is that many lasting couples develop feelings for each other over a period of time. Ask your married friends if you don’t believe me. Along with not giving love time to develop, is the notion that love in a relationship doesn’t grow. That once the feelings are gone, it all goes downhill from there. People try and make the feelings of love in a relationship grow, but they need to make the meaning of their relationship develop first. Where couples can sit back and reflect on; the meaning of their relationship, knowing everything about each other, the memories they’ve shared, and the life they spent together, these are things that make relationships meaningful. Only after these have been developed will the feelings come back.
Your partner is there to satisfy your life
The thinking that your partner is there to satisfy your life is a very “take” mentality. If both people in a relationship have this, a relationship won’t work. This is because both people are taking until there is nothing left. What’s needed for a relationship is a give mentality. If both people are giving to each other, not only are their individual needs being met, but their relationship becomes meaningful and beautiful. Connections should come naturally People can have the misunderstanding that connections should come naturally. The truth is that connections and chemistry need to be worked on. This can be seen in arranged marriages which have lower divorce rates than normal marriages. People have lost the value of good old hard work and persistence. People can give up too easily when it comes to building a relationship with someone.
Relationship counselling is a bad thing, & only for couples who need it
People believe that marriage counselling is only for couples with problems. The truth about marriage counselling is that it helps prevent problems. By teaching them how to communicate and understand problems in relationships, professionals who have seen these problems over and over again are able to offer expert advice for any relationship. Think of it like a dentist check-up. You don’t wait for cavities to develop before going to the dentist; you go to the dentist to prevent cavities. Counselling from someone wiser and with more experience is something any relationship could benefit from.
We can walk into relationship with the wrong beliefs about them and as a result have plenty of difficulty building and maintaining a relationship, or we can go into relationships with the right knowledge that empowers us to develop them into lasting and beautiful ones. Just like a solid house, relationships need to begin with the right foundation. It this situation, it is having the right beliefs about relationships.
This article is from www.how-to-get-men.com, a website that helps people understand men and the many problems that come up in
relationships such as; why he acts distant, how to find love, and more successful dating/relationship advice. Check out http://www.how-to-get-men.com/how-can-i-find-love.php to learn more on men and getting along with them.