ON THE COVER 30_MEET MRS GOUWS… the woman behind our principal. 38_MRS. ROSSOUW. In perfect Engligh… 42_DIE STEENKAMPS. Regte onderwysers. 46_MR SAYER. An intriguing history. 50_MRS VAN STADEN. Unexpected tomboy. 54_MRS STRAUSS and her alter ego. 58_MS WICKENS: PV‟s beloved rock. FEATURES 14_ABOUT UBUNTU. Success and a learning curve. FASHION 16_WHAT YOU WANT in terms of clothes. Look no further. 18_GET IN LINE. Unique pieces to highlight your pre-spring wardrobe. ENTERTAINMENT 09_THE ULTIMATE REVIEW. Things to do, and people to watch out for. REGULARS 05_MASTHEAD. Who did what… 06_LETTER FROM THE EDITOR. Praise song. 07_DEPUTY‟S LETTER.
ON THE COVER Mrs Gouws photographed by Kim Swarts. Makeup by Sarah Howard-Browne. Read the full story on page 30.
DANIËL GELDENHUYS Editor In Chief Creative Director Fashion Director CHANTÉ CHARLES Deputy Editor Features Director features editors LANA DE BEER NATASHA BICKNELL entertainment editor ZANDILE NDAYI ALFREDA SIMAKANI photographers CORNEL STEYN KIM SWARTS head proofreader M G STEENKAMP
Parel Vallei High School
95 Parel Vallei road, Somerset – West 7130
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
POWERING FORWARD This issue, like all our others, is a celebratory one. It seems that Parel Vallei is almost always celebrating something – that‟s why it was such a shock to be plunged into a state of mourning at the end of the second term when we lost the infectious bundle of joy that was Courtney Moore. I don‟t want to leave any unnecessary comment on the subject, but I will say that I feel honoured to have had the chance to work with her this year on the learner council. I‟m glad she was the kind of person that, after her passing, it was not difficult to think of nice things to say about her. We will not only remember the good times, we will remember everything about her, because it was all good. While acceptance of her passing will come in a different form to everyone, I think it is important for everyone to find a way to keep her alive in their hearts. I have decided to dedicate all my creative ventures for the rest of this year to Courtney. That way, whenever I do something I love, I‟ll think of her and smile. This message of this issue, honouring our educators, is one that lies extremely close to my heart. The teachers featured in this issue and the ones who aren‟t, are the people who shape communities by influencing and raising upright citizens like you, me and Courtney. The work they do on a daily basis must never be underestimated or taken for granted. So remember to appreciate all the great things in life. Take all the joy and sorrow of the past and put it into creating a bolder, brighter future. If you think the sky is the limit, you‟re not dreaming big enough. xoxoD^^
DEPUTY‟S LETTER
A NEW ADVENTURE B
y the time you read this, I and the rest of the matriculants will be
about to dive head first into our exams. The rest of you are fortunate enough to not have to partake in it. I must admit something though: I am really looking forward to it. Now you may sit at your computer and wonder exactly how I lost such a vast amount of brain cells to come to this conclusion… The beginning of these exams also signifies the end of a seemingly endless time in my life. I will confess, I was afraid at the start of this year. I realized that none of us would ever have it quite this easy again. There will be no teacher to run to for extra lessons and no safety in knowing that your group of friends will be waiting for you. When you start to think about it like that, much of the excitement of a new beginning is lost. If this has happened to you, allow me to remind you of the lighter aspects of this topic. Next year you will be introduced into a completely new environment. This is daunting, but it also means something else: freedom. No one will know who you are and this means that you will be able to be whoever you have always wanted to be. Concerning friendship: no one ever said that you have to lose him or her. You simply have to work harder to keep them. For those of you who are not in your final year, I have to ask you one thing. As frightening as it may seem, make every second count. One always considers oneself safe. The truth is, time waits for no man (as my father always says about me forever running late). You may feel as though what you have now leaves you satisfied. I am glad that you have reached that point, but is that really true? In my experience, things are not always as they seem. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I value friendship to the extreme. I was satisfied and I did not need any more. When I became a part of the musical, that all changed and for the better. Now I have a full heart and an even fuller contact list. Life is too precious to allow any moment of it to go to waste. Sometimes incidents occur that you never thought was possible. There is no way to prepare for them. If we were able to predict them, then there would be no fun in living (not that it is not tempting). If there is anything that you thought that you could never do because you were never good, smart or strong enough, then think again. No one in the world is more deserving of the great things in life then you are. If any one else tells you differently, then they were most likely in your position and made the wrong choice. You are always far closer to success than you ever are to failure if you simply keep on trying. That is my little caffeine inspired wisdom for this issue. Fear is the enemy to dreams. Rather live your life with no regrets, than with no (legal) risks. Ciao for now. Chanté
TALK BACK We want to hear your thoughts, idea and opinions. Write to us at ultimatepv@iafrica.com
Endless local stage opportunities, a child star, and B is back.
THEATRE If there was ever a time to explore your inner performer, that time would be now. The amateur theatre community in Somerset West is experiencing a huge boom – and anyone is welcome. The winner of the grade 8 Most Likely To Be Famous PV Award, Liam Walsh, is living up to the hype by becoming nothing short of a local celebrity. This year he‟s already starred in Romeo and Juliet and played the title role in Jack and the Beanstalk. He will also be taking the stage in September as the lead in The Emperor’s Groove, a spoof on the original Disney classic, The Emperor’s New Groove. It‟s not that hard to get involved. The two theatre hot spots are the Laurensford Wine Estate where director Darrel Skijkers is cranking out the productions. By the time you‟re reading this, you‟ll have missed the auditions for The Moulin Rouge, which will premiere in February of 2012. Then there is the upcoming production After Ever After, an original script starring much loved characters like Puss In Boots but Pilar Pringles and CJ Opperman. Looking for something a little less family orientated? Head over to the playhouse for Driving Ms Daisy. Kelly‟s Amateur Drama School is open to anyone from grade one to grade twelve. So far they have delivered two high quality productions in ‟07, ‟09 and are now gearing up for the previously mentioned The Emperor’s Groove which promises to entertain all ages. There is no shortage of acting opportunities in our area right now but that‟s not the only way you can get involved. These productions are always looking for technical fanatics, costume designers, makeup artists, writers, and stage hands. So if the above gives you a little flutter in your heart, don‟t ignore it. The iron is red hot, strike now! Like “Carnivals of the Heart” on facebook.
Ever wanted to be a star? Now is the time… says Daniёl Geldenhuys.
Above: Liam Walsh in Jack and the Beanstalk (2011) Below: The cast and crew of The Little Mermaid (2010); a scene from Robin Hood (2009).
MUSIC BEYONCÉ 4 Review by Alfreda Simakani R144.86 @ Kalahari.net You were probably wondering why Beyonce Knowles‟s latest CD is called „4‟… The reason she chose the number was because it is a special date in her life and the lives of her loved ones. Her wedding anniversary, family friends‟ birthdays are all on the 4th. Fans have stated that her latest release has shown signs of maturity in her music. She has shed her Sasha Fierce alter ego (which is now so two years ago) and once again, began to take bold experimental steps. Not everyone liked the first single on the album: “Run The World (Girls)” but after listening to it again and watching the music video, it‟s hard to get it out of your head. The sound of the album is different to that of her earlier work. She has begun to draw on a larger range of sources for inspiration and taken more chances. And anyone who knows will tell you, that is the mark of a great artist. ABOVE: Beyoncé in Italian VOGUE. RIGHT: her album: 4.
CELEBRITY
THE OTHER FANNING By Daniёl Geldenhuys
Elle Fanning seems to be following in the footsteps of her older sister Dakota, but is no longer living in her shadow. Having played the younger version of her sister‟s character in a film and mini series, Elle has moved on to starring in noted films such as Babel, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and television shows CSI and House. Right now, she can be classified as one of a rare breed of child stars who don‟t get millions of views on YouTube but do produce high quality work. The fashion world has fallen in love with her, too. She has starred in a fashion editorial for US VOGUE and the photo on the left is of her new ad campaign with Marc by Marc Jacobs. Still, there is a good chance you haven‟t experienced her work. You will now: she stars in Steven Spielberg and and J. J. Abrams‟s Super 8, a „mystery/scifi/thriller/action/adventure‟ now showing at NuMetro cinemas. With that and two other film scheduled to release this year, one a horror and the other a comedy, it is clear she‟s going in a different direction than her sister went… and she‟s clearly versatile. She‟s one to watch… and you‟ll probably enjoy doing so.
ABOUT UBUNTU… After entering a teen film festival and walking away with two trophies, making PV the most successful school of the festival, ZANDILE NDAYI says she learned something valuable…
Zandile Ndayi (RIGHT) with the cast and crew of Metamorphosis. Photograph by Daniёl Geldenhuys
“Umntu ngumuntu ngabantu” says the African saying but what does this really mean? Ubuntu is that love and care for others or does it have a more significant meaning? It is what builds strong and prosperous relationships and gives life a deeper more meaningful purpose .Umntu ngumntu ngabantu, you are person among other people. Life today has consumed us in it and some of us have lost or forgotten the importance of this saying... The Ubuntu film festival gives the youth the platform to show case their views on Ubuntu and revive the spirit of Ubuntu in the form of acting within groups, script writing, making of music videos and other activities. A group of PV students took part in the film festival this year for the second time. I was also given an opportunity to be part of this initiative. Our team consisted of me, Megan Harvett, Lauren James, Chanté Charles, Megan Higgo, Brett Rayner, Ulrich Fritz, Ushaan Potgieter… to name a few. The team chose the film Metamorphosis which was a concept based on ideas that were brainstormed by the cast. Chanté Charles, who wrote the script, and Lauren James, our director, said they based their ideas on the well-known film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Metamorphosis is a change, or in this case, a change of heart - a change in the way we treat people. It shows how people should accept one another regardless of race, gender, cultural background or disability. The film follows the lives of different characters, each with their own issues, and shows how a game show teaches them the values of life. A lot of time was spent on this project with the technical difficulties, learning scripts and all the hard work that comes with making a movie, but in the end it was all worth it. Although we had a lot to deal with, we worked together to achieve the common goal of success. I can still remember that when we struggled to find a place to film, Ushaan and Megan offered their homes to us. Parel Vallei helped a great deal in the creation of our dream: if they had not given us equipment such as lights and mics, I don‟t know if we would have been able produce the final product. With the use of green screens and fancy equipment that I never realised were in the movie process, we succeeded in capturing the hearts of all. On the 3rd of June 2011 The Metamorphosis team was invited to Oude Libertas to the 2nd annual Ubuntu Teen Film Festival award ceremony. We were invited to show others and to be shown by fellow competitors how they executed the same idea in a variety of ways. Parel Vallei received an award for understanding of the Ubuntu concept, and an award for the amazing script. We were the only school to walk away with two awards, the pride factor was very strong that night. The film is a good example of the talent here at the school. It opens the minds of those in the dark and creates an image of hope and better change to the near future. I really enjoyed this experience. It was amazing and, at the same time, overwhelming. I got the opportunity to learn about people, the things that influence us, different cultures, and how they influence me. I thank my team and all who were involved.
WHAT YOU
WANT
(THEY‟VE GOT IT) BY DANIЁL GELDENHUYS
D
ante de Koker and Kelly Atmore are not designers. Not yet. For now, they‟re doing something that will benefit the Somerset West fashion condition far more: sourcing. Whether calling them Sourcerers is incredibly lame or inexplicably cool remains undecided. Basically, they find clothes (where will remain their secret) that they like, give them a few tweaks, and sell them to you at a price that could be considered free. One. Night. Wonder. offers consumers something that most stores don‟t: clothes that people actually want. “We saw a gap in the market for the stuff that you see on blogs,” says Danté. “You go onto a fashion blog and you like, „Oh my gosh, that‟s so cool‟ but you‟ll never find it anywhere.” There is of course the option of hitting the thrift stores, but it‟s a lot of trouble and far too often you won‟t find what you‟re looking for. “So we‟ll source those really, really cool items of clothing for the people.” There can be no denying that their clothing is just that: very, very cool. Throw on a One. Night. Wonder. outfit and a touch of attitude and you‟ll stand out in the crowd, no problem.
The brand rides the fashion renaissance wave with gusto. It‟s a lot of that „grandma‟s clothes‟ that have gone from being ugly to being blatantly fashionable. Danté and Kelly are ready to supply you with a “consistent flow” of the good stuff. Inspiration comes from (in the digital world) a long list of blogs and (in the real world) a certain kind of Cape Town crowd. The brand is not restricted to seasons: Danté and Kelly will source elements from seasonal trends that they like and think will fit into their style which is, according to Danté, “very constant.” The partnership seems to be an exceptionally even one: they both source, they both style, they both do PR. The two are best friends, so they know how to function together. The brand is slowly evolving: Kelly has begun to create things from scratch, and they‟ll be creating some great printed tees soon. For now, they‟re your go-to pair for anything that‟s refreshingly different and (because it‟s sourced) wonderfully unique. one-night-wonder.tumblr.com
Opposite: lacedetail jacket, R40, leather belt, R15, high wasted shorts, price on request, all One. Night. Wonder. This page: sleeveless tee, R30, snakeskin belt, R15; high waisted trousers, R60, all One. Night. Wonder. All stockings and shoes worn throughout, modelsâ€&#x; own.
This page: Sleeveless tee, R40; belt, R15; high wasted trousers, R60, all One. Night. Wonder; ring, modelâ€&#x;s own. Opposite: knit, R50, leather belt, R15, high waisted shorts, R40, all One. Night. Wonder.
This page: button up blouse, R40, double-collared shirt (also worn opposite), R40, high waisted denim shorts, R30, all One. Night. Wonder.
This page: Sheer blouse, R30, bra, modelâ€&#x;s own, snakeskin belt, R15, high waisted trousers, R60; all One. Night. Wonder. Opposite: top, R30, knit waistcoat, R30, distressed denim shorts, price on request; all One. Night. Wonder; ring and bra, modelâ€&#x;s own.
Opposite: striped top, R30, belt, R15, high waisted denim shorts, R40, all One. Night. Wonder. This page: maxi stripe jacket, R70, One. Night. Wonder.
From left: circular sunglasses, stylist‟s own; bra, model‟s own; floral knit, R40, high waisted denim shorts, R40, tight knit, R40, high waisted trousers, R70, all One. Night. Wonder. PRODUCTION Daniёl Geldenhuys. MODELS (from left) Peach Cronje and Emilie Badenhorst. HAIR AND MAKEUP Leigh-Anne Maré. RETOUCHING Cornel Steyn onenightwonder@ yahoo.com 079 501 5567
Meet MRS GOUWS
The woman behind our principal chats about a primary school, Charl Cilliers, her expanding family, and being married to Mr Gouws.
words DANIĐ L GELDENHUYS photographs KIM SWARTS makeup SARAH HOWARD-BROWNE
A
s I was walking in circles around Ledbury, trying
to find a door, I realized that, for the first time in my life, I was nervous about an interview. The idea of putting Mrs Gouws on the cover came to me in an epiphany from an intense session of singular brainstorming. I knew the woman who married Mr Gouws had to be something special and the thought intimidated me. Lucky for my nerves, I was greeted by a gracious lady with a welcoming smile – and snacks. She apologizes for the state of her crockery (I find it to be clean, pristine), says she‟s not good with photos (this is one of the easiest covers we‟ve ever shot, see for yourself), and warns me about her bad English. (She made one mistake, which I think I told her was in fact correct.) It‟s not that she‟s a pessimist – she‟s a perfectionist. She likes things organized and sorted. Oh, and she‟s a workaholic. The reason we‟re not all a little bit more familiar with Mrs Gouws is Ledbury. When she and Mr Gouws came from the Eastern Cape to our neck of the woods they lived in Betty‟s Bay and drove through to PV – and De Hoop, where she teaches – every day. “I spent every afternoon at the school. I had to sit and wait until five o‟clock, seven o‟clock, nine o‟clock, sometimes twelve o‟clock.” Clearly those arrangements were unpractical, so they made Ledbury, the little house on the school grounds, their week-day home. Apparently, living on school grounds is more of a convenience than a stress. If Mr Gouws has an afternoon meeting, he can run home first instead of having to wait in his office. Mrs Gouws remembers the only time there was ever a disturbance was a few years back during a certain matric year‟s fourty days when a teacher, coming back from a function with some students, discovered the havoc the matrics had created and came knocking on the Gouwses window around midnight. Otherwise, Ledbury has been quiet and safe. The way she likes it.
Her passion is music. She comes from a family of choir members, but she prefers playing the piano, organ, or (nowadays) the keyboard. She studied to become a Kindergarten teacher, but as soon as she started looking for a job she found out that music teachers were in high demand, so she taught more music than anything else. Today she lives in the middle of the most teenage-populated area of town, but she teaches primary school and has no desires to change that. She says her greatest joy in being a music teacher is to see a child‟s progress over the years. She starts with them in grade two and sees them through to grade seven, helping them every step of the way. “We really work hard with the kids in the junior school. I enjoy the little ones, I think they‟re cute. I don‟t think the teenagers are so cute.” She is kidding… kind of. But she really does seem to love little children: her daughter is dating a man with a six-year-old boy, who she bonded with easily. In fact, she had to watch herself to make sure she didn‟t spoil the child rotten. It‟s their mental state that fascinates her. “I love having this kid in the house, to chat to him, to see how he thinks and reasons, etc.” I ask her about the stars of the musical that went to De Hoop… She didn‟t teach Charl music, but she remembers him. What does she remember about him from those days? “He was the headmaster‟s son.” She holds her hand out at chair height to indicate his height back then. “I remember he was very good with a keyboard… very talented.” She also remembers teaching Siphokazi Kalo when she was in grade three and how all the other girls tried to copy her exactly in the way they used their mouths when they sang.
Mrs Gouws has always been a Gouws, that‟s how she met her husband. They were studying together and had to sit in alphabetical order. Soon enough, Mr Gouws was sitting next to her all the time, especially in music classes where she knew all the answers. I build up the question I‟ve been waiting patiently to ask: What‟s it like being married to Mr Gouws? “I thank the Lord every day for a loving, caring and supportive husband like mine. He understands me and puts up with me! When he is relaxed, he is great fun. He loves telling jokes and stories. He is a family man and wonderful father to our children. We can all turn to him with our problems.” What an answer! They‟ve been married for thirty three years and have two children: one a doctor and the other studying to become a high school teacher. It seems apparent that being married to Mr Gouws means being married to his job which, naturally, takes a lot out of him. It‟s a good thing that she‟s a teacher because she understands completely. Both of them “take their jobs too seriously.” The only difference is that Mrs Gouws is as meticulous in her personal life as at work, while Mr Gouws is far more relaxed at home. He‟ll be the one to say, “Leave the dishes for tomorrow,” and she‟ll be the one who would rather just get them done now. Their personalities even each other out nicely. “It definitely works that people aren‟t always the same.” When they‟re in Betty‟s Bay, things are very different – like a mini holiday. It‟s the exact opposite of living on the school grounds, there you don‟t think of school. “When he‟s here, he‟s focused on school. On the breakaway to Betty‟s Bay, he breaks.” And so does she. Mrs Gouws is a very grounded and content person. She is happy with enjoying the day-to-day routine of life. She reads no fiction and watches realistic movies. She doesn‟t seem to want or need any kind of drama to make her life exciting. It‟s the little things that provide the excitement. Her son is getting married soon, and she‟s excited to take on the role of grandmother. Mr Gouws says he‟ll be the kind or grandpa who will keep the kids busy with mountain and fishing adventures. She, on the other hand, will read them a story and sing them a song, maybe turn the family into a little real-life musical. The main item on her bucket list is travelling with her husband – something she‟s never done before. She‟d love to explore South Africa: the Kruger National Park, the Drakensberg, Victoria Falls… It‟s refreshing in this day and age to meet someone who is so content and gracious. It seems like Mrs Gouws‟s outlook on life is the key to being happy and content, and that‟s a lesson to be taught to learners of all ages.
“I enjoy the little ones, I think they’re cute. I don’t think the teenagers are so cute.”
celebrating
They’re our parents away from home. They inspire us, motivate us, and help us succeed. This month ULTIMATE’s features writers picked their favourite teachers (a challenging task) and wrote about why they’re so incredible. Then they interviewed them to find out those interesting things you never knew about them.
our educators
The entire ULTIMATE editorial team wishes to thank not only the teachers featured in this issue, but every member of staff that contributes to making Parel Vallei the excellent school that it is. Keep up the excellent work! Photographed by KIM SWARTS
MRS ROSSOUW BY CHANTÉ CHARLES
S
tarting out my high school career, I knew
that there was one subject that I would value above all: English. As an aspiring author and poet, I wanted a teacher that matched my enthusiasm for the subject. Luckily I had an older sister that told me all about her fantastic teacher. Immense relief flooded me. Now imagine my surprise when I arrived in grade 8, to find that everyone thought to have common sense, feared her. When I saw her for the first time, all I truly noticed was her hair color. Undaunted, I faced this discovery head on… only to find that the fear was wholly unnecessary Through the years of being under her teaching hand, I have been diagnosed with a very serious and blatantly obvious syndrome: Rossouwism, a philosophy based on having an absolute love of all that is English and Shakespeare (especially this). I cannot quite pinpoint when I became as devoted to her as I have. Perhaps it is over the love of books or that she truly grasps the nature of the great literary works. Over time, a dynamic formed between us. All of my friends know that she is my favorite. They also know not to expect sympathy from me when they are reprimanded. (If Mrs. Rossouw has dealt it, then they must have deserved it.) The funniest of incidents in class pass so quickly that one has to be on constant alert. There is never a shortage of profound wisdom. On such pearl is, “Stay away from any man skulking in the shadows with the glint in his eye and a knife in his hand.” There are also the unexpected striking poses (which you have to see to believe).
For me perhaps the funniest would be the frequent and frightening threats that Mrs. Rossouw can deliver with the greatest of ease. By now, it would be no surprise for her to whip out a chainsaw from underneath her table. (I have covertly checked and alas, I found no weapon.) More than that, she inspires me to do better. Normally one feels pressure to do one‟s best, but the adrenaline kept the need to exceed alive. It also can have a negative effect. I remember one time during an oral, and as I looked at her, she looked at her watch. Immediately I froze. Was my speech too long? Was it boring? When I consulted a friend about the incident, they promptly smacked me upside the head. These are some of the things that I will miss the most about Mrs. Rossouw and that I cherish. The quirky threats delivered in a quiet tone (which is incredibly effective), the passion that she carries for her work and above all, the friend that I made through a shared love for English.
By now, it would be no surprise for her to whip out a chainsaw from underneath her table.
T
he following interview contains only the information
that you are dying to know. An opportunity such as this could not be wasted. The first question was one that many of my friends are curious of. The first thing that one notices about ma‟am is that her hair is a shocking white. It matches her perfectly but one has to wonder, why not opt to dye it? “The only time that I attempted to dye my hair ended with a breakout of eczema all over my head. I am allergic.” That would explain it. Another image one entertains of her is that Mrs. Rossouw would never suffer from any addictions. (Now wait a second, I did not mean it like that.) Mrs. Rossouw does not drink alcohol, because she cannot. It normally ends with great feelings of nausea. Of course, this was only found out after drinking. (I am starting to notice a pattern of learning from terrible experiences.) Of course, if that were it, there would be no fun. She became enslaved to one addiction. “Both my parents were smokers as I grew up. Around my second year of university, I had a boyfriend who absolutely despised it. When we broke up, I started to spite him. After three months I tried to quit, but could not.” How long does it then take to break an addiction such as this? “It took the next 20 years.” This also means that when Mrs. Rossouw gives you a talking to about smoking, you cannot say that she does not understand. One expects Mrs. Rossouw to have resisted the forces of evil, moonlighting as a masked heroin. In reality, it is not far off. This story took place in the time of apartheid. “During that time, my helper had to take time off work due to a tragic loss. In her place, I temporarily appointed her daughter, who spoke not a word of English. I suspected that she did not possess a pass but had no way of knowing. As life goes, the police came knocking and I was summoned to court. I was advised to write a letter to the court. In it, I explained the situation and that I had no legal means of finding out the truth. As a person of light complexion, one could not venture into the townships. The day of court appearance came and mine was the first name to be called out. I was beyond terrified. The clerk then informed me that my case had been withdrawn.” …My teacher wrote her way out of jail-time. I am speechless.
“The only time that I attempted to dye my hair ended with a breakout of eczema all over my head. I am allergic.” I suppose after hearing this story, you would never have expected that she has three tattoos. My first guess was that they were her favorite Shakespeare works. Perhaps they were three tomes. “They are three small dots. I had to be lined up for radiotherapy.” (I need to do some work on my investigative guessing). What does the survivor have to say about her cancer ordeal? “I was extremely lucky. It was a tiny incident.” Mrs. Rossouw does seem the type to be able to mentally will cancer cells away. I definitely think that there is some evidence here of extraordinary powers. Perhaps one of the funniest, simplest questions that I found to ask was this: why English? “I love it and it is the thing that I do best.” Now that I was on the train of this subject, I continued. With such an impressive general knowledge of books, could she remember the first book that she had ever read? “Big Book of Baby Forest Animals.” Once again, I was speechless. This interview had proven a few things to me. The first is that Mrs. Rossouw will never be afraid to go out on a limb for those who are in need. The second is that she is one of the strongest people I have ever had the honour to meet. The last point, is a child‟s‟ fantasy. My teacher is a super heroine. She may not have the heat ray vision, but she has a great death glare. She may not have x-ray vision but she can see under your desk. She cannot read your mind, but she knows what you are thinking. The most important fact is that while she does not have limbs of steel, she has a heart of gold.
MNR. & MEV. STEENKAMP DEUR DANIЁL GELDENHUYS
Meneer Steenkamp het baie hooi op sy vurk. Darem om „n goeie rede: hy is die hoof van Kultuur by Parel Vallei, die graad 8 -hoof, „n leederraadonderwyser, en dan gee hy nog klas ook! Ek dink dis omdat hy baie maklik ja sê as „n student na hom toe kom met „n idee wat die kultuur van Parel Vallei kan verryk. Ons kom nie agter hoeveel goeie goed in die skool aan meneer Steenkamp te danke is nie. Verskoon die Engels wat nou gaan kom… maar dis Meneer (soos ek met hom praat sou mens sweer sy eerste naam was regtig Meneer) se „take no prisoners‟werkstyl wat so goed werk. As hy iets moet kies, dan kies hy. En dan is dit so. Moenie stry nie. Jy mag dalk nie nou die sin daarin sien nie, maar jy sal gou genoeg. Wys.
D
ie Steenkamps is so half perfek, nè? Nee.
Dit kan nie wees nie – niemand is perfek nie. Juffrou /Mevrou Steenkamp is die rede dat ek nog Afrikaans Huistaal neem. As ek by „n sekere ander onderwyser kon wees, het ek Eerste Addisionele Taal toe geskuif. Veral in Matriek, wanneer alles mal gaan en dit lyk asof tyd minder en minder word en jou teksboek dikker en dikker, is dit die heel beste ding wanneer jy by „n juffrou se klas kan instap en haar hoor sê: “Never fear when the red-haired lady is near. Ek het alles onder beheer.” Ek kan nie mooi verduidelik wat presies so „n sterk band tussen Juffrou en my klas geskep het nie, maar ek weet sy is een van die mense in Parel Vallei wat ek die meeste gaan mis. Om in haar klas te wees, is soos om by die huis te wees: soms is dit lekker (lees!) soms is dit nie so lekker nie (taal!), maar dit is altyd bekend, veilig, vriendelik. Sy doen moeite. Baie moeite. Elke keer as sy vir ons „n werkvel gee wat sy opgestel het, kan „n mens dadelik sien daar is baie tyd en energie in gesit. Sy is passievol oor haar taal, maar nie op „n irriterende manier nie. Dit maak dat jy wil leer – dat jy hard wil werk. Sekere onderwysers sal nooit vir „n leerder volpunte vir „n projek gee nie, maar Juffrou is nie een van hulle nie. Dis nie te sê sy gee punte weg nie. As sy kan sien jy het net soveel moeite in jou werk gesit soos sy in hare, sal sy jou beloon. Dis „n baie goeie ding dat ek en meneer Steenkamp goed oor die weg kom. Ek het geen klasse by hom nie, maar soms kry ek die gevoel (tussen my verhoogproduksie, hierdie tydskrif, leerderraad en Kultuurweek) dat ek meer van hom te sien kry as sy studente. Daar is tye wanneer ek elke dag, elke pouse, in sy klas/kantoor is. “Wat het gebeur?” sal hy vra in „n diep stem met „n effense glimlag. “Niks!” sal ek altyd antwoord, en dan vir hom die slegte nuus gee.
Daar is twee goed oor Die Steenkamps (ek en Karen Rohwer het altyd gesê as mens „n realiteitsreeks oor hulle maak, dan moet dit so genoem word en die titel moet op dieselfde deuntjie as The Simpsons gesing word) waaroor ek mal is. Die eerste is dat mens heeltemal eerlik met hulle kan wees. As mens soms iets oor iets of iemand sê wat jy nie eintlik moet nie, sal hulle vir jou „n knipoog (Meneer) of „n laggie (Mevrou) gee wat jou laat verstaan hulle stem met jou saam. Nommer twee: nog nooit het ek onveilig, ongemaklik of gekul gevoel deur „n Steenkamp nie. Almal het hulle oomblikke met hul menere en mevroue, maar hierdie Meneer en hierdie Mevrou laat jou voel asof jy nie by die skool is nie. By hulle voel „n mens heeltemal tuis.
Juffrou Steenkamp is die rede dat ek nog Afrikaans Huistaal neem. Ons kom nie agter hoeveel goeie goed in die skool aan meneer Steenkamp te danke is nie.
D
ie Steenkamps is regte onderwysers. Toe ek
die onderhoud met hulle gedoen het, het ek beplan om te vra: as julle nie in die onderwys was nie, wat sou julle droomwerk gewees het? Ek het gou genoeg agtergekom dit sou „n baie dom vraag (ja, ek weet daar bestaan mos nie so iets nie) gewees het. Dit is wat hulle wil doen, dit is die droomwerk, en dit is hoe hulle daar uitgekom het… Hulle was saam op universiteit, in dieselfde klas. Mardie was die meisie wat reg voor gesit het en notas gemaak het. Willem was die ou wat agter in die klas geslaap het. Tog het hulle nooit by mekaar uitgekom nie… as facebook toe bestaan het, sou hulle „n hele paar „mutual friends‟ gehad het, maar Stellenbosch was (dalk „n bietjie te) groot genoeg vir die twee van hulle. “Ek het nooit op universiteit met Mardie te doen gekry nie,” sê Meneer. “Ek was kwaad gewees, want die girls wat ek gedate het, sou vir my sê hulle is die naweek na hulle vriendin toe in Namakwaland…” Toe gaan Willem army toe en Mardie Hopetown toe om skool te hou. „n Paar jaar later het hulle altwee (heel toevallig) begin skoolhou in Calvinia. Hulle klasse was langs mekaar. Klink bekend? Dit was dalk toe die noodlot, maar dat hulle vandag kan klasgee langs mekaar het nie net sommer gebeur nie. Meer daaroor later… Mardie was die teenoorgestelde van wat Willem verwag het toe sy „n kwartaal na hom by die skool in Calvinia begin het. Almal het die „ou tannie‟ Juffrou Genis geken… en nog so een verwag toe hulle hoor daar kom nog „n Genis. Willem en die skool se sekretaresse sluip toe een dag in die kluis in en kyk na die nuwe Genis se lêer: ongetroud… geen foto… dra dan seker vaal, bruin pakkies en praat gedurig oor haar katte. Min het hy die mooi jong vrou verwag wat voor in die klas gesit en notas gemaak het. Hulle was vriende. Tot Mardie hom “afgevry” het by sy meisie: “Sy was nie „n aangename karakter nie,” sê Juffrou vir my, “Ek weet nie hoe so „n aangename man met so „n onaangename meisie deurmekaar geraak het nie.” Die kinders het in 1989 vir Juffrou Genis/Mardie gewed dat sy aan die einde van die Junie-vakansie sou terug kom met „n verloofring. Sy sou eers in September verloof raak, so Mardie het geweet sy was veilig… maar toe was die ring sommer binne „n week klaar en sy moes die weddenskap betaal aan haar klas: sjokolade. Die oggend van 24 Maart 1990, “was „n vreeslike besigheid,” sê Juffrou so half ingedagte, “hulle [haar ma en tantes] het al die kos self gemaak en die kerksaal georganiseer…” Na die troue het die paartjie in die kar gespring en na die Suidkaap gery vir „n „honeymoon road trip.‟
Agt jaar later besluit hulle om „die lewe buite die onderwys‟ te probeer. Willem, Mardie en „n vier – jaar- oue Grethe het „n hotel gaan bestuur in Namakwaland, op Kamieskroon. Mardie was in die kombuis, besig met die kos. En Willem was, soos nou nog, “front of house”, besig om gaste te ontvang en probleme op te los. In September, die maand van die blomme, was die hotel stampvol. “Mense van oral” sê Juffrou, “Amerikaners, Engelse, Franse, Italianers, Japannese…” “As ek sien daar kom „n groep Japannese, dan hardloop ek kombuis toe… want as hulle inkom dan vra hulle vir „soup of the day‟” lag Meneer. Dit was twee jaar van „n Basil en Sybil van Fawlty Towers-soort leefstyl. Die verskil was natuurlik dat hulle „n kind gehad het. Daar was „n wonderlike nanny, maar dit was nie genoeg nie. Te ongedissiplineerd. Hulle het die roetine van die onderwys gemis en was reg om terug te keer. Dit was toe Weskaap toe – Strand toe – na Willem se ouers (wat toe ouetehuis toe is) se huis. Hy het gaan skoolgee in Kaapstad en sy het „n spysenieringsonderneming begin. Dit was nie maklik om by Parel Vallei in te kom nie… maar meneer Steenkamp het maar sy maniere. Toe hy in sy onderhoud met mnr. Gouws en die res van die beheerligaam aan die einde van die eerste kwartaal sit, sê hy vir hulle hy wil nie sy ander skool so skielik los nie. Dalk sal dit beter wees as hy eers by Parel Vallei in die derde kwartaal begin… intussen kan sy (hy gee vir hulle Mardie Steenkamp se CV aan) in sy pos waarneem by die skool. Later die aand bel mnr. Gouws: kan Juffrou Steenkamp volgende kwartaal begin? Meneer moes toe vir haar gaan wys waar die skool is. Juffrou het toe die 9E3‟s vir registerklas en graad 8 tot 12 vir Afrikaans Eerste Addisionele Taal. Mnr. du Preez se dogter, Genevieve, toe in Matriek onder Juffrou Steenkamp, het gesê sy het nog nooit in haar lewe soveel Afrikaans gedoen nie. Meneer het toe in die derde kwartaal begin, en Juffrou was vir die volgende paar jaar in en uit as „n plaasvervanger. In 2003 kry die Afrikaanse onderwyser in kamer 507 „n senuwee-ineenstorting, (ja, dit is vir onderwysers ook moeilik), bel vir juffrou Steenkamp die dag na haar verjaarsdag en vra vir haar of sy kan oorneem. Teen 2005 het Juffou „n permanente pos, in die klas langs haar man, en die res is geskiedenis. “Baie van die leerders is ontevrede as hulle nie in graad 8 al „n A kry nie,” sê Juffrou, “maar jy behoort eintlik eers in graad 12 „n A te kry, want dis „n groeiproses. Dis so wonderlik om te sien hoe die kinders daarby uitkom – daar is ongelooflike intelligente kinders en talentvolle kinders in ons skool.” “Ja,” sê Meneer, “dis waar.”
MR SAYER BY LANA DE BEER
W
hen you hear the name “Sayer”, you
think “slightly eccentric History teacher” yes? Well you‟re not wrong - he is the History teacher and he is eccentric if not slightly. He has, over the years, taught us extra skills necessary for survival. This includes; “galloping” down the corridor whilst “neighing”-not as easy as one might think; “diving” into the carpet and having to swim for our lives- we were shackled slaves, you see, so it was quite a trial. Many drowned; and the majority of his class has now mastered an American, British or Russian accent. If you have not realized this from what is written above, Mr. Sayer is an evtremely passionate teacher. When he teaches, he really gets into what he is saying. He asks questions and, even though he already knows the answers. will get opinions from everyone in the class on the subject, prompting us to really think about the work. The best part about having him as a history teacher is that he can often offer the class first hand accounts. For example, since he was alive during the apartheid era, he can tell us what the general feeling in the country was like at the time… and give us pristine impersonations of the country leaders. He doesn‟t just do some light research on a subject before teaching it to us. He really gives it some in depth thought and, like any good historian, consults a wide variety of sources. Well… it‟s either that, or he‟s just really good at ripping out a random book and reading something to us that relates to what is presented in our text book.
Of course, the most legendary moments with Mr Sayer occur on History outings. (The history students reading this are already smiling.) The most famous moment was when, in grade ten, he got onto the train and it just drove away, leaving us on the platform. I remember the panic on his face when, earlier this year when the matrics went on an outing to parliament, Jodi Coetzee walked up to a very important looking man in a suit and asked if he could take a picture of our class. I‟m not exactly sure what he said but I remember him whispering something like: “Jodi, do you realize you could be talking to a minister?!” Whatever happens, he always tries to keep things in good order. He likes things organized. A “dames en here, verskoon asseblief hierdie onderbreking” from the intercom is most unwelcome. As is someone speaking out of turn. All you have to do is cooperate. If you do that, you‟ll learn a lot. There‟s never a wrong answer, everything is a debate. Remember your introductions and conclusions and always, always, remember the key word to survival in History class: productivity.
the majority of his class has now mastered an American, British or Russian accent
T
here is so much more to him than meets the
eye. For instance, have you ever wondered why he does the devotions every week? Or why he‟s so strict about his students being late or using the bathroom? Let‟s start at the beginning… David Sayer was born in the Transvaal in 1947. His father had come to South Africa from Britain in the 1930s. In 1943 his parents met at a party and instantly connected. Due to his father‟s tight schedule - he was in the military in World War Two - they got married after two days!! It was definitely „love at first sight‟ since they stayed together. Sayer‟s father was in the mining business in a little town and one thing that Sayer remembers doing is building a canoe for himself out of galvanised iron. He went to an old-fashioned, British boarding school for boys and that was where he learnt the values of discipline. There was a girls school down the road but they were only allowed to mingle after church on a Sunday and that was only for ten minutes, so of course a scandal erupted. In his 11th year, boys started to sneak out to meet the girls. Sayer says he wasn‟t one of them, not very convincingly. The teachers realised that their pupils needed to mature towards the opposite sex so „visitation rights‟ were instated. Every Sunday afternoon for two hours, the boys were allowed to socialise with the girls on the field. Sayer remembers how they would rush down to the corner shop to purchase chocolates with their allowances. Hah, bribery. He was involved with the SCA and they would gather in a classroom on a Sunday night. This would influence his career in the future.
In his 11th year, boys started to sneak out to meet the girls. Sayer says he wasn’t one of them, not very convincingly.
He joined the army after high school and then went on to study a BA with History, English and Classical Life and Thought. It was Apartheid in those days and he would join fellow students and protest against the unfair exclusion of black students. He also took part in a march. He went on to become an English teacher in a little town where he met his wife Sandra in 1974. They then decided to move down to Cape Town. At this stage he felt he was being called to do the work of God so he studied to become a pastor. He preached the gospel first at a Baptist church in Somerset West then at a church in Cape Town. After a while he was feeling family pressure to provide, and there were some mixed issues and beliefs within his church, so he went back to teaching. He was able to get a post at Parel Vallei High School because of Mrs Rossouw who he already knew due to his wife‟s friendship with her sister. He carried on teaching English and developed his love for acting through helping with the school‟s production of Romeo and Juliet and Othello. The school‟s previous History teacher, Mr de Wit, left and when Mr Gouws offered the job to Sayer, he immediately grabbed the opportunity. He‟s been teaching History for the past 5-6 years. He has three sons. His eldest is Graham (32 years old) and he is an English teacher at Somerset College High school. The second is Brian who‟s heavily involved with computer software etc. His youngest son‟s name is Sean and he is an architect busy with his third year of work. He has a baby girl, making Mr Sayer is a grandfather. He is very proud of this fact. Note: Never ask a History teacher what his favourite period in History is. It‟s a cross between World War Two and the events leading up to it, Bolshevism, the English Constitution- how it became a democracy- and the new South Africa and whether Apartheid still would‟ve reigned if Jan Smuts was still in power. Goodness. He admires Mr Gouws immensely for everything that he does for the school and he also admires the Maths department since he cannot do a simple calculation. I took a chance and asked whether the rumour about Mrs Rossouw being arrested was true and it interested him immediately, so to Mrs Rossouw: expect a bribery in the form of a cup of tea in the near future!
MRS VAN STADEN BY NATASHA BICKNELL
W
hen I think of Mrs Van Staden, I think
of endless class discussions on subject matters that can have you sitting at the edge of your seat for up to an hour and a half. I think of delicious chocolate cake that is so moist it tastes like something from heaven. Job opportunities also come to mind, as well as blue eye shadow. If you are one of my fellow “geographers,” you should be nodding your head and chuckling by now. If not, let me fill you in... Mrs van Staden has a way of making her pupils feel right at home. She is the type of teacher who doesn‟t have to shout or throw chalk around to get attention, she has it from the get go. Her geographers in training respect her because she demands it, but in a nondemanding kind of way. She teaches her pupils to love our earth, its creatures, and the smell of old topography maps. A sense of humour and a massive load of patience are two things that make Mrs van Staden special. She also has a deep understanding of teenagers. Our class finds great delight in surprising her in unexpected ways. The best time to do this is when she is showing us slide shows and the big screen blocks her view of the rest of us while she sits at her computer. The guys have a favourite trick- moving all of their desks right to the front of the class, so when she lifts the screen she sees seven innocent faces peering up at her, bursting at the seams with laughter. There was also the time when somebody brought Vicks to school and Mrs van Staden lifted her screen to find half the class balling their eyes out. That was funny.
Mrs van Staden‟s classroom always smells like the ocean. I don‟t know how she does it, but I like it. She always looks perfect- I don‟t think she‟s ever had a bad hair day in her life. She teaches us lessons about life in an amazingly humble way. Our daily lessons often stretch way beyond igneous rocks and volcanic eruptions. She likes to hear our opinion on everything, whether it be about the latest political scandal or starting a veggie garden at school. Everybody‟s answer is “korrek,” as long as it is backed up with some reason, no matter how far fetched it might be. That‟s what I like about Mrs van Staden. She allows us to think out of the box. And she has an awesome accent. Mrs van Staden goes out of her way to make sure that we all understand what she teaches. If we happen to be struggling, she is never too busy to give us an extra lesson or three after school, or to photocopy a million and one pages of map work exercises. She expects the best from us (I have been told she wants a 90% from me at the end of the year. Cough.), and her gentle pushing is all the motivation we need to study our socks off. Once, during an exam, she walked around with a packet of mints. Exams aren‟t half as bad when you‟re sucking on something minty. Our class has grown a lot since grade 10. I only came in grade 11, but since then it has grown even more. This doesn‟t surprise me. We all know it has to do with the fact that geography is the best subject. That; and Mrs van Staden‟s amazing brandewynkoek...
Mrs van Staden’s classroom always smells like the ocean. I don’t know how she does it, but I like it.
W
hen I did my interview with Mrs van Staden, I
couldn‟t really think of any specific questions. So I just asked her for her story... It all started on a big farm between Caledon and Greyton. It‟s not surprising that Mrs van Staden lights up when she talks about it. It turns out she was actually born on the farm. Her mom was baking bread when she “realised something was wrong” and a kitchen helper ran to fetch her dad. That‟s when Mrs van Staden‟s great farm-life adventure began. Believe it or not, Mrs van Staden grew up as a tomboy. She describes her time on the farm as „glorious.‟ When she wasn‟t helping her dad with the harvesting (yes, Mrs van Staden can ride a tractor herself), she was playing rugby amongst the oak trees or exploring the farm with her two brothers. She also has an older sister, who was a bit more “girly” than her. Mrs van Staden smiles a reminiscent smile as she talks about the games she and her brothers used to play, like “spook spook” and how they used to climb the mountain and braai “vissies” and pick “waterblommetjies” to eat on their adventures. They also made river rafts and rode horses in their free time. Mrs van Staden‟s father was a very good farmer. They farmed wheat, veggies and peaches and they also kept cows for dairy. Mrs van Staden said she didn‟t study enough in primary school because she was always helping her dad on the farm. Her dad achieved a lot as a farmer. His workers were treated very well and they even joined the family for Christmas dinner some years. They were always given good housing on the farm and they loved her dad very much. He even made sure his children dressed well in front of them, because he said it showed them respect.
When she wasn’t helping her dad with the harvesting (yes, Mrs van Staden can ride a tractor herself).
Another thing Mrs van Staden loved to do was cook. Her mother was a great cook and she enjoyed helping her in the kitchen, especially during her high school years. Mrs van Staden‟s mother used to help the poorer families in the community with catering for weddings and functions, but her food was so good, the wealthier families soon heard about it and she started cooking for them too. Before school teaching, Mrs van Staden lectured for about ten years at Stellenbosch. She also catered part-time for many functions, including weddings- not only cooking, but decorating tables and making flower arrangements too. Mrs van Staden is happily married with two sons. She says her husband tells her she can‟t sit still. It‟s apparently true. When they lived in Paarl, she grew strawberries and took them to the market herself. She says she often prays that the sun will stand still so she can get everything done. It‟s been a big change for her to be living in the suburbs now and she says when they visit a farm, she has a hard time forcing herself to sit still and be a lady when she really just wants to run around outside like she did when she was growing up. Mrs van Staden is probably the most grateful, content person that I know. She says that she can‟t do anything without help from above. She is completely dependent on God and she says that her one wish would be that everyone in the world could be saved. She and her husband go to a local hospital quite often to minister and encourage the patients. She seemed to think that her life hasn‟t been much to write about, but I could probably have sat for a whole two hours listening to her stories about the farm and her encouraging wisdom.
MRS STRAUSS BY DANIЁL GELDENHUYS
I
remember it well: I was in grade ten and drama was
absolutely everything to me. Some time during the year the tragic news struck: my drama teacher, Mr Olivier, was leaving. The only thing scarier than trying to imagine a world where he was no longer my teacher, was trying to imagine the new drama teacher. What if he/she/it was bad? What if it was some lame substitute? What if my entire drama career went down the drain? It was all too horrid to think about. The new drama teacher had to be good, there was no two ways about it. I viewed having a bad drama teacher as one of those diseases or accidents where people would say „it won‟t happen to me.‟ It wouldn’t happen to me. And so the rumours began to fly around in a way that they only can in a drama class. He/she/it was in fact a she, and she studied at Stellenbosch. Good. At the very least, I knew that meant she‟d be good with stage work and would probably be able to get us in a good place for practicals and Fraserburg. The first day of term three, Ms van Zyl stood out – I think mostly because she was wearing a hypnotizing ensemble of primary colours… I only really remember the purple shoes. Finally we got to drama class and she introduced herself to us. I was happy with the fact that her surname was Van Zyl because I had good karma with Van Zyls: my godmother, my primary school (beloved) English/Afrikaans teacher/ and that really smart girl in my class who can act like no one else and who seems to be really nice, are all Van Zyl. So it‟s the surname and her purple courts… we were getting off to a good start. A little later during her introduction to the class, I found out I‟d seen her perform about a year before at the Woordfees. Thinking back on what I‟d seen then and what was currently in front of me, I got that much-awaited feeling of relief that Ms Van Zyl would be a good drama teacher. So there! It didn’t happen to me.
It‟s only two years later and I can‟t seem to remember a time without Mrs Strauss (she‟s been married for quite some time now and I‟ve finally managed to let Van Zyl go). She‟ll be your best friend and your worst enemy all in the same lesson. Her marking of practicals (that‟s all a drama student cares about) is strict but fair, and you get the feeling that she really, really cares about you as a student. We‟ve grown up with Mrs. Strauss, and she with us. Back when she started, she was a single gal who was trying to make a place for herself in Parel Vallei, and we thought we were very grown up. Now she‟s a married woman who plays an integral role in the school, and we think we‟re very grown up. We do, however, realize that we weren‟t so grown up in grade ten. Strauss, as we sometimes call her, is a memory maker. (I just googled the term to see if I could claim it as a Daniёl original, but it seems a scrapbooking company beat me to it.) She‟s the kind of person who, if you take a few minutes to sit down and reminisce about the past, you‟ll find the good memories were good and the bad memories were bad, but most of all, they are well worth remembering. Oh, and I was right about the whole Stellenbosch thing: she definitely knows her way around a stage. I‟ve seen it, not only with her direction of our practicals, but also with the direction of her 2011 drama production, Intiem, which I have the immense honour of starring in. I‟ve got to end this off now, I‟ve got lines to learn…
Ms van Zyl stood out – I think mostly because she was wearing a hypnotizing ensemble of primary colours.
Y
ou walk into a bar… (this isn‟t the beginning
of a lame joke, so bear with me) …well, it‟s more of a restaurant. The lights are low, but you can see what you‟re doing. You‟re surrounded by a lot of contemporary art, and the décor seems to make you feel warm and snuggly. The food arrives: it‟s excellent. You‟re still trying to figure out what that unexpected ingredient is when Hettie Etikettie takes the stage and (not so subtly) informs you that you have been using the wrong fork. Next scenario: you rush down to the local deli where there is a new organic cheese being presented for the first time. You‟re a little late, a little frazzled, but you manage to slip in on time. Inside the deli you take a deep breath, appreciating all the interesting smells of the wide diversity of farm and organic products. The presentation is about to start and Hettie Etikettie takes the stage, informing you that you look neglected and are incorrectly dressed for the occasion. Those are Mrs. Strauss‟s two dreams: theatre and a show, and a deli for food fanatics. The constant? Hettie Etikettie. Who is Hettie Etikettie? In my opinion, she‟s actually a modern outspoken superhero… and her story goes like this… Not so long ago in a relatively close land, Stellenbosch drama student Annelie van Zyl received a gift from her grandmother. A book called Etikette Vir Elke Geleenteid by Hettie Naude. The book was hilarious: giving detailed descriptions of how to use a spoon and how to avoid wild men. She began to read the best parts aloud to her friends… eventually putting on a special “Hettie” voice (as a drama student would) to make the material even more intriguing. Her friends loved her etiquette renditions and she thought she was just having some harmless fun… but what she didn‟t know was that the book was beginning to have a life of its own, creeping into her dreams and manipulating her thoughts. One day she was paging through the book and she cut her finger on one of the pages. She screamed, falling backwards onto the floor in terror. She shut her eyes, gritting her teeth for thirteen painful seconds as the change took place. When she opened her eyes, she was no longer Annelie van Zyl, she was Hettie Etikettie.
“I feel offended when someone comes over to eat and they don’t use the correct table manners.”
You can decide for yourself what you want to take as fact from the preceding two paragraphs, but the following is completely truthful: van Zyl used Hettie Etikettie as the main character in her end of year cabaret practical and many more times after that. You wouldn‟t think that the current modern, fun living personality that is Mrs Strauss and the strict, traditional and highly strung Hettie Etikettie have much in common, but it seems Strauss is more traditional than one would think. “I feel offended when someone comes over to eat and they don‟t use the correct table manners,” she says. And it doesn‟t stop at that. She doesn‟t like to see the way people are treating each other these days. She finds it sad that our modern world is getting a little too modern, too selfish. “People don‟t even know what etiquette is anymore. The kids laugh at etiquette because it‟s so ridiculous, funny and crazy.” What Hettie, and therefore Strauss, is doing, is presenting us with the idea of etiquette in a comical way… one that might hopefully creep into our minds and give us that hypothetical paper cut the same way it did her. Strauss agrees that etiquette is a way of showing respect, a vital component in creating (or resurrecting) a fully functioning society. Her traditional farm girl style upbringing makes her an expert on the matter. Hettie carries elements of Strauss‟s entire family, but most of all, herself. As our conversation draws to a close, I ask Strauss about the difference between her and Hettie. The most obvious difference is the age difference: Hettie is in her sixties and Strauss in her twenties. Strauss is far more liberal and accepting than Hettie… much less naive. Where Hettie has a clear goal of changing the world, Strauss seems to think she‟s wasting her time. During the cabaret practical we see Hettie twenty years down the line in her eighties, much more run down than usual but still doing her etiquette lectures. She starts with the ABC of etiquette and by the time she gets to F, she decides to F it all because no one is listening to her. And for a moment we believe that all hope is lost, because if even Hettie gives up, then there must be no hope left. The moment passes and Hettie continues her lecture, showing that even in the face of all adversity, she will not give up. And therefore I‟m willing to bet that, by definition, neither will her creator.
MS WICKENS BY CHANTÉ CHARLES
S
he is our very own doctor Phil except with
less camera drama (not that there is not any) and much more hair (a LOT more). Many of us believe that she must have struck a deal with a tissues company. One can only imagine the amounts of those she goes through a week. She is funny, intelligent and humble. She is… Miss Wickens! Now when I say the word psychologist, a pre-formed picture springs up in your mind. This picture would be of a rounded, prematurely balding man with thickly rimmed glasses perched on the end of his nose. That was what I thought. The first time I sat down in her office, that picture could not have been further from the truth. Instead, I was presented with a beautiful, impossibly young lady who had the charm and wit one almost never sees. My first reaction was to survey the room. When no cameras appeared (definitely not Phil), I sat back puzzled. This wore off as soon as she opened her mouth. After talking with her, I left feeling incredibly lighter. I thought, that was incredible. Then I thought, am I really that obvious? After a few sessions with her, and many reassurances from people who had seen her before, I realized that I was not obvious. Miss Wickens is simply that good. Not only that, but she brings out the best in everyone. Perhaps you would better understand this if I shared some of my experiences with you. Growing up is never easy. There are curveballs thrown your way that you never saw coming. In times such as those, you need someone to turn to. I, like the masses, ran to our esteemed school psychologist. Unknowingly, I had made one of the best decisions of my life. One of the aspects about her that I adore is that she can advise you on any given topic. First, there are the aptitude tests. That may have marked the beginning of the journey. From there, it branched out into all different directions.
I never before described myself as funny. (Too many jokes that received no laughter taught me that.) The first time Miss Wickens laughed at something I said, I nearly fell off my chair. The point is that she aims to not only help you with your problems, but to make you feel great about yourself. Her office may be one of the safest places in school to simply let go of all the pent up emotions within you. Sometimes it never occurred to me that I needed to sit down and let the tears pour out. When I arrive at her office after a long day, it roughly takes five minutes before I am bawling. I do not think that there has ever been a session with her that I have not enjoyed. I believe the most amazing thing about her is that she makes you feel special. It is as though despite her being on a completely different level of maturity, she validates you. What I learnt from her is something that I would never trade. I can also never fully describe this to you. Just like the way that I will never be able to describe Miss Wickens to you all. There is something indescribably charming about her. She made me feel safe, supported and important to the matters of the world. It never is cheesy or put upon. Miss Wickens and her comforting office are among the things that I will miss most about high school. (I have already taken steps and swapped numbers. One never knows when one needs backup… and she is the best backup). If you are uncertain about making an appointment with her, hesitate no further. (For every session she has booked after this article, I benefit as well. I probably should not have said that.)
Her office may be one of the safest places in school to simply let go of all the pent up emotions within you.
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR Ms Wickens is not an easy person to get access to. Chanté couldn‟t get an appointment with her before this issue had to be published. Coincidence? No. Ms Wickens is like a hot New York restaurant: always fully booked. In a way I guess it‟s not a bad thing. The school psychologist should retain that level of mystique. She always says she has a thousand-one hundred- and-however-many-students-PV-hasat-the-time children. And it‟s true. She really is like a mother. I for one have run to her in situations of desperate panic, trying to figure out a polite way to tell her to “make it all better!” She has managed to do so every time. I doubt there will be anyone who will disagree with me when I say she is the most important figure to the students in the school. We will be forever grateful for her guidance.
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