Christ It Up Magazine

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11| Making the Most of Life’s Lemons An exceprt from Author Lytia Brock’s new bool.

*Vessel's Note *Prayer for Salvation *Couples In Christ *Coffee with Sister Doris *Bookworm *Words of the Lord *What You Know About...

7| Is Prayer in Your Daily Routine?

10 steps to ensure you are praying daily.

14| Cover Story A look in the life and career of Rap Artist CaNino.

20| 10 Place to Visit this Summer A list of places to visit this summer, with or without a family.

22| Coffee with Sister Doris Sister Doris is back with her wisdom and humor.

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9| True Christian Woman Meet Nina Jackson 21| Say I Won’t The testimony of just doing it by Author Kimberly Fairley.

24| Black Men Have they given up on faith?

Note

As I write this note, I can honestly say that I feel like I’m enduring more now than I have in my life at. As I study the Word of God, it allows me to understand that everything I’m going through is for a reason.

My devotional stated it like this: Count all of our terrible experiences as joy. Not because someone else may be worse off, but the trial itself that we enduring has the potential to make us into a mature and complete person.

With all the things I have going on in my life: being a mother, full-time employee, part-time student, owner of this magazine; and that’s just the basics, I’m also dealing with all of my trials as well. But it led me to feel; what am I doing this magazine for?

No one cares about it except for me. And I had my little pity party. But then someone reminded me of why this magazine is in existence. This magazine is here to be a blessing to others and to minister to them.

Recently a woman came to me and expressed how this very magazine enabled her to begin to cope with her daughter losing her baby at 3 months pregnant. She said that the article she read, “Through my Greatest Pain, God Brought my Greatest Joy”, brought her to tears. That it was such a blessing to her.

Right at a point where I was like, “For what?”

And God let me know; for a time such as this.

Whatever God has for you to do, I encourage you to do it! You may just bless someone.

To God be the Glory!

Darnica Gordon Mz. CIU

Give your life to Christ

Vessel’s If you have read past issues of this magazine or if this is your first time, I am glad to introduce, The Sinner’s Prayer.

Romans 10:9-11 (NIV) 9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”

To give your life to Christ, recite this aloud: Dear God, I come to you today as a sinner asking for forgivness. I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth that you are Lord. I believe that you died on the cross and rose on the third day with all power in your hand. And today I accept you as my Lord and Savior.

In Jesus name, Amen!

1323 Superior Ave Pittsburgh, Pa 15212 412~478-8892 christitup@yahoo.com www.christitupmagazine.com 3|CIU Summer 2016

CONTRIBUTORS

Here are some contributors for the Summer 2016 Issue.

Syreeta Gordon is a mother, lifestyle blogger, author, freelance content writer, and social media strategist. Syreeta works alongside small businesses, helping them craft their message and build their reputation to broaden audience and create leads. Her passion is to empower women that feel stuck, to get out of their own way.

Check out her article on page 9.

Kimberly Fairley is the author of “Perfectly Imperfect”. And has contributed to CIU on varies occasions. We love her straight to the point attitude and look forward to her new book, “The Lost Art of Purity”. Kim is currently vacationing in Rome with her son. You can read her article on page 21.

Lytia Brock-Sledge Author of “Making the most of life’s lemons” has recently signed on as a permanate contribrutor of CIU. Be sure to check out an excerpt from her new book on page 11.

If you would like to contribute to Christ It Up Magazine, please send all submissions to: christitup@yahoo.com. Please allow one (1) week for a response.

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Couples in Christ BECAUSE GOD IS LOVE; LOVE SEES NO COLOR By: Kellie Hudson Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

I love this bible verse because it has no mention of color or race. It does not hold one race higher than the other. It is simply telling us how God views love and how we should love one another. Not how a white person should love another white person nor a black person should love another black person, but how we should love everyone no matter the color of their skin. “And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” 1 John 4:21.

My husband and I are an interracial married couple. I am white and he is black, and we have beautiful interracial children together. I am happy to say we live in a home that is undivided and unified. We live out of love and God’s will for our life. But it hasn’t always been an easy road. I had lost family member when my husband and I first started dating. Racism I had never experienced before started to pop up around me.

It was nothing I had ever experienced as a white American growing up in a middle class home. I remember the first time someone had said something rude to us in public I cried. My husband on the other hand seemed unbothered. I said to him, “Why don’t you seem bothered about what they said?”

He said, “I’m used to it, I’ve been dealing with it my whole life. After a while you just let it roll off you.” My heart broke; because minorities are being treated like this every day and it has to come to a point where they become numb to it. Why should anyone have to feel that way cause of skin color? We are all children of God. In His eyes we are all the same. God doesn’t speak about color because to Him it holds no value.

God is about love and love has no boundaries. I love that God uses me and my husband to show how race can be unified.

When people of all races come up to us and say, “Wow what a beautiful family and testimony you to have, with so many differences between you.” We live our life for each other through love and teach our children to do the same. The greatest story I can tell you is about my husband’s grandmother. The first time she said to me, “Do you love and know Jesus?” To her, she didn’t care what race I was, she just cared about my soul.

She continued to show this type of love through our entire relationship. We always say she was our biggest support. When my husband and I separated a few years ago, for a year, and she would call me every week to tell me that she loves me and our children. And also that Jesus loves me and would pray for me. This was an 80-90 year old woman who’s probably seen more racism then we will ever see. But she choose to always act out of love and compassion. She will always be one of the greatest women of God I will ever know. And it’s not because of how much work she did, or how much she talked about Jesus, but because she showed love to everyone just as God tells us to show and love people.

How we love people or value their life shouldn’t be judged by race, power, or authority. It should be done through empathy, compassion, and Jesus. I pray that America starts to value a black man who is selling CDs to feed his family just as much as they value a white police officer’s life who is out there trying to do the same. And I truly believe this can only be done through loving like Jesus and empathy. We don’t have to understand each other, we just have to love each other. And true love can only be taught through God.

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King Jr.

If you would like to share your testimony in Couples in Christ, please send submissions to christitup@yahoo.com

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Is Prayer in Your Daily Routine?

10 Ways to Keep Prayer Interesting By: Jamaila “Thoroughbred” Robinson

Prayer is definitely a major part of our relationship with Christ as well our daily routines. But sometimes we do get caught up in the mist of our day-to-day ups and downs, and sometimes, something as small as praying for our food can become forgotten. How can we make prayer more interesting and part of our daily routines?

Here are 10 creative and fun ways! #1 Praying in the shower- Every morning we take showers. So why not use this special designated time to also to speak to God. Mixing invigorating body washes with positive spiritual confessions can only lead to a bubbly positive start to your day! #2 Pray before putting anything into your body- Whether it be food, an instrument, or any type of item, why not pray first!

A lot of manmade items, including food, needs prayed over these days due to threat of infectious diseases and problems.

Practicing prayer this way, you will never skip a beat on praying, being safe or eating! #3 Praying before you drive your Car- Since way back when my grandma was driving, people have been doing this. Every time we used to get into my grandmother’s car she would pray for “traveling mercy”. We would all sit and take a moment to pray before pulling off and not once can I ever remember being in a bad accident, or anything close! My grandma definitely knew the power of prayer, and also made it really fun by involving the kids. A must do! Pray for traveling mercy!

#6 Designate a Prayer time for your family- Why not set a time of the day for you and your family to pray? Most people traditionally pray at night but, it is not written in stone that you have to! Pick your family prayer time and stick to it! #7 Make a Prayer Collage- If you are on the creative side and have magazines laying around at home why not make a prayer collage! Cut out items and words that will motivate you and inspire you to stay in the word of God. Use only positive images and scriptures that will remind you daily, and visually, of what you want in your life and paste them on a poster board. Waking up and seeing this collage should keep your spiritual goals first in mind. #8 Use Gospel Music- Music can get you in the right mode to do anything! So why not prayer? Pull out your gospel playlist and let it put you in the mode to pour out your heart to the highest. We all have that one track that takes us there. So play it, press repeat, and pray! #9 Download a Prayer App- Technology these days are so advanced that they have even created prayer apps! Designed to remind you to pray, and to pray for others, this new technology can be very helpful. Try searching your phone or computers’ play store or application store to download a prayer app today!

#10 Morning Prayer- People all over the world drop to their knees at night to thank God for another day. But who says we cannot thank Him for the day that we awake on? Being #4. Pray while exercising! - Walking or jogging is a very great grateful that the sun has risen, the birds are chirping, and the time to pray. Choosing a more scenic, peaceful environment world is still revolving, can turn this experience into something unbelievable! While reflects a positive walking pay attention to your surroundings and breathe- thank attitude that God and God for the trees, the earth, the sky and yourself. This way you the world surely will are working on yourself physically, mentally and spiritually! appreciate. #5 Start a prayer journal- Writing is always therapeutic! Go ahead and buy yourself a new shiny notebook or journal, some writing utensils, and then get to work! Every time you feel the need to pray you can write letters to God, He will get your message either way! Trust in Him.

*Remember to pray daily and make it fun!

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The Battle in Being the ‘True’ Christian Woman “The challenge in being feminine in a feminist culture”

unworthy and unmatched to today’s womanhood model.

Raising children in this stigma will leave you exhausted in teaching your kids the truth. If you are raising daughters, you will soon encounter battling for them to believe in what values would like them to live by. Don’t give up! In order to raise daughters and sons that are educated and confident in themselves. We will be challenged to raise our daughters the blessing in submission and breaking down what that truly means. You will get head to head on how an attractive feminine woman should present herself to this world. While raising sons, that don’t fall victim to the “strange or loose woman”. Giving them clear strategy that the same consequences that girls would endure. It will be the same burden laid upon them. If they will rise above the consequences. As we train them up to have true discernment in knowing they have encountered a woman worthy to be held at a high standard.

You may not agree with the biblical standard of womanhood. It may leave most “independent” women feeling stifled. Where you couldn’t imagine being led or put under the thumb of any man. It leaves you with the feeling of being entrapped. Along with the image in your mind of a woman in the 50’s wearing an apron cooking in the kitchen.

As we are turned off by this imagery, it is important that we understand these feelings are the reasons we ended up where we are at culturally. Battling the true ideal of womanhood as we are confused on what are true role is in our household.

All of us at some point have to submit to authority.

As an employee we submit to our managers. As a student we must submit to our teachers. As a married woman we must submit to our husbands. If there isn’t any submission. It will bread a playground for conflict. Conflict in any home isn’t any good as we strive to gain peace.

We must continue to fight these negative cultural ideals in our home. This is where it will start and end. If we don’t believe these untruth’s that are culture is feeding us.

The better off our children and families will be. As we stand up to take our feminine place as the co-leaders and influencers of our households.

This was an eye opener for me. As you begin to no fall victim to what the media is trying to feed us.

It’s time for us to mothers to step out of hiding and step our most authentic selves. It’s time to step out of the shadows.

Unveiled Mother will walk you through my journey and into a place of self-reflection on stepping into your most authentic self.

When has it become unattractive for a woman to be who she is supposed to be authentically? If we pay attention to the media and the music that we listen to this new ideal of womanhood has slowly crept in. It has changed the way we view what it actually means to be a woman. As, Beyoncé is presently ushering the feminist movement back on the forefront. As we believe, slaying your haters while you collect your paper is the right approach. It is engrained in our subconscious mind that the independent woman is far more superior than “Molly the Homemaker”. I believe our culture has stolen the way the uniqueness and purpose of the woman.

As a Christian Woman, I am finding it harder and harder to live and walk the intended way of womanhood our Father intended. As the society tries to break down the lifestyle and vulnerability of the strength in being a woman.

We must stand firm in our God given role that influences our households, community and roles in business with our feminine prowess. We are softer yet at times stronger than our male counter parts. More intuitive and sensitive to emotions. We have an inherent supernatural ability to pick up on what I like to call “vibes.” A natural discernment of outside forces that come into our personal circle. Where we can say, “For some reason, I just don’t like this person.” We may not know them from Adam. It is just in us. We have this wisdom and ability to connect to God far differently.

This feminist culture has affected the way we dress, act and carry out our decision making. This has been revealed in our fashion where we are made to believe that less clothing is more. Show a little more leg and a little more cleavage. The sexier and more enticing the more beautiful you become. As an African American woman, we are pressured into believing that are own hair isn’t sexy or pretty enough. Instead we

concede to spending hundreds of dollars on our hair. In order -Syreeta Gordon to meet the American beauty standard. Adding insult to injury, our personalities must match the boldness and extroverted nature of the “Love & Hip Hop” generation. Being the “Bad Chick” has become the new ideal of womanhood. It leads The book is available on Amazon and available for download those who don’t measure up to these comparisons feeling on Kindle.

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Book Worm Making The Most Of Life’s Lemons By: Lytia Brock-Sledge

Lytia is a Contributing writing of Chris It Up

and we are super excited about her debut book, “Makng The Most of Life’s Lemons”. I had the honor of reading (and loving) it and was granted permission to share an excerpt with you.

If you’re in the Pittsburgh Area, be sure to attend her booking signing on July 23rd.

(Check the ad on page 4 for full details.)

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YOU’RE ALIVE ... NOW LIVE Place your right hand on the left side of your chest. Close your eyes and concentrate. Do you feel that? That is your heart beat. Even though we are alive not many of us are living. God wants us to live a meaningful, fulfilled and abundantly life. His plan for our life was we would prosper and enjoy all of the provisions that He has made for us. When we look at the original plan of life it was carefree and full of beauty. The Garden of Eden was a beautiful paradise with all that was needed for a great life. Until sin crept into the world living was effortless and a breeze. After the fall of man we were faced with the guarantee of work and hard pains of childbirth. Talk about a change that comes from one sin. So as we fast forward thousands of years later where we are faced with work, pain during childbirth, bills and all of the other situations that life has to offer we can forget to live.

I have talked to many people who aspired at a young age to be a doctor, lawyer, singer, but because different circumstances in life they decided to go a different way.

I had a plan for my life when I was younger and my goals of what I wanted to be. I envisioned myself as a high powered attorney and a wife, mother, business owner and singer. Yes it sounds like a lot but it was what I wanted for myself. When I look at my past goal list and where I am today several of the things on my list have come to pass but there are other things that have not taken place. As I reminisce I don’t allow it to get me down I know that gods plan for my life is far greater than any dreams or goals I had for myself.

I find it very sad when people live beneath their privilege. Think of it this way does the prince of England walk with his head held down or act inferior to anyone? The answer I came up with is a resounding no, you shouldn’t either. You are royalty the Bible calls you a royal priesthood. A person of royalty does not bow down to anyone but rather receives respect from others.

Just going through the motions in life will leave you with feelings of depression and regret later on. How can you truly be happy when you always put your dreams, visions, ideas and wants on the back burner? God has a plan for your life but he also want to make sure you live your life to its fullest potential. As you read through the pages of this book I want you to be encouraged to evaluate your life and focus on making better decisions.

There is no right or wrong way to live. Life is such that you must find out what works best for you and go forth! For those of us who have been told what to do our whole lives from infancy to early adulthood. When you finally become and adult you are looking for instruction from you parents and family members on how you should navigate the rest of your days. These expectations that were put on you in your adolescent to early adulthood are sometimes hard to measure up to. It can be hard trying to be all that mommy or daddy wanted you to be. When you are younger your parents have their own set of goals and dreams that they want you to meet or accomplish. I often marvel at the parents who push their children

Book Worm in pageants, or in sports. While there is nothing wrong with wanting your child to be the best I often feel that some parents force their own dreams and visions on their children.

I promised myself I would never impose my dreams and goals on my children.

Maybe it’s not your parents who have put their dreams on you but a friend.

Friends also can have a way of imposing their views upon you.

The effects of peer pressure are real and do not disappear just because you grow up.

Do not allow your life to be dictated by what people feel like you should wear, do.

How people feel you should act, talk or speak. It is your life live it to the fullest. You only get one on earth.

What do you truly want to be? What dreams do you have for yourself? What goals did you set out to accomplish? It is

Unveiled Mother By: Syreeta Gordon

The Wait By: DeVon Franklin & Meagan Good I originally bought this book as a point of reference for a conference that I was having entitled, “Worth Far More Than Rubies”, which was designed to shed light on our worth as women. This was a great book and coincided with things that I was sharing and discussing with fellow women, both married and single. I would recommend this book for everyone, man and women, who are single, Dating, even engaged. Get read!!!

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m

What You Know About....

Heavenly Bath and Body Heavenly Bath & Body is a small company whose products I enjoy. They have great scents, creative combinations, and their prices are great! I spoke with the owner, Kellie Hudson, and here is a little bit of insight to why she got stated and where she plans to go.

The reason I started my bath and body business was because as a child I always wanted to start my own business and be my own boss. I bought some bath and body products from a small business and started to think I can probably starting these myself. I did some research on them and start making and selling them myself.

What I love most about my business is when I have people tell me how much they love the product and bring being able to provide some extra money while working at home and bring with my children at the same time. I truly believe it’s a God given gift to help my family get by each month.

My goals for my business are to online sale and eventually do a small store and/or vendors.

All in God’s timing.

Proverbs 31:16- 19 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

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A RADICAL TYPE DUDE There’s no way you can be in the same room as this man and not crack a smile, let alone die from laughter. He has a natural sense of humor that is liable to brighten up anyone’s day. So you wouldn’t fathom the extraordinary testimony he has. From being abandoned at an early age, to a record deal, to being a man of God. He has allowed God to take all of this pain and turn it into passion. Canino allowed us a look in his life. I enjoyed his story and I’m excited to share it with you.

After being left on a highway with his sister at the age of 6, he was then placed in foster care and was abused. He had to deal with a lot at such an early age. And right before he was to finally be adopted his father shows up.

Christ It Up: Tell us a little bit about your upbringing.

CaNino: I was dropped off on the highway at 6, along with my sister.

CIU: Are you currently working on any projects?

CN: Yes. But I’m working on it quietly and patiently. I can rush it, because every time I do, it never comes out right.

CIU: When did CIU: When do you expect it to be released?

CN: There is no release date for the album but I have CIU: So at what aged did you get saves? an EP out now called, Scarecrow Man. CN: I was 17 when I got saved. I was a drug baby. I got drug to CIU: What advice would you like to give? church. I wasn’t saved before that.

CN: CIU: What was going on before then?

CN: Womanizing; being a player. I had grew up around some things I didn’t think were manly, so in order to make sure I was being a man, I had a lot of women. I lost my virginity at 9!

CIU: I know you had a record deal with Tyscott Loud and we will touch on that in a second, but tell us about the first deal you had.

CN: CIU: So what are you up to now?

CN: CIU: Has relationships affected your work?

CN: CIU: Are you single now?

CN: CIU: What are you looking for in a woman?

CN:

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Words of the Lord By: Darnica Gordon

Summertime. A time of warm weather, pools, barbeques, and fun in the sun. But it also seems to be a time for turn up season. People who like to drink…alcohol, find any reason to drink and it seems summertime is the perfect event. See I never cared for drinking when I wasn’t saved. I’m not saying I didn’t drink, it just wasn’t a priority of mine. When I would go to the club I would order a Peach Schnapps with Orange Juice. And I would babysit that glass most of the night. At family gatherings there is always alcohol involved and I guess I make everyone uncomfortable by not drinking or make them feel uncomfortable for drinking because they always hit me with, “Well Jesus drank wine.” So I tell them, “Show me the scripture.” This is a tactic to get them to open their bibles and to create possible discussion.

Anyway, I’ve always had bad experiences when people would drink. It usually ended in arguments or fights.

Everyone behaving out of character.

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Ad

10

Places to Visit this Summer

Its summer time and many fun things to do. I have put together a list of places to visit if you are single, in a relationship, or have a family. Here are 10 great places that you are sure to have a great time at. love the idea of travel though I’ve only been to a handful of places. I’ve searched and here are 10 places to visit this summer.

1.

Lake Erie Lake Erie is only about a 2 hour drive from Pittsburgh, but it a great place to go to getaway. Now you can venture here as a couple or a family. The beach is always a great idea. Erie is also the home of Splash Lagoon, an indoor waterpark. You will probably use a tank of gas there and back and the beach is always free. Maybe pack a basket or visit the consestion stand.

Splash Lagoon usually has weekend getaway packages for families you can visit their site at www.splashlagoon.com.

2.

Miami, FL. Even though there are quite a few things to do in Miami with family I think making it a girls or guys’ trip is the way to go. If it’s your first time. Whether you’re on South Beach or wherever there are plenty of things to do obviously visit the beach there are plenty of restaurants and stores to go to remember that prices in Miami or higher than prices in Pittsburgh and that’s where you’re coming from.

3.

Las Vegas, Nevada I’ve never been but I heard Vegas is a great place to vacation there are many things to do even though it’s known for its can for its casinos there are way more things to do than that there zip-lining there are different shows you could go to many restaurants you can visit this is also a trip that I think it’s good for couples or make it a girls trip or a guys’ trip.

4.

New York City Of course very common, NYC is definitely a great place to visit. My first time visiting was last year for my 31st!! birthday.

I went with some girlfriends and my cousins. We had such a great time exploring the city. I also went this year for my birthday as well (I think it’s becoming a tradition). I plan on taking my kids soon so they get to experience it as well. It’s not a bad drive, it’s about a 6 hour drive from Pittsburgh, Pa, but the hotel prices can be steep.

I have always been obsessed with San Francisco ever since Full House. And then Mrs. Doubtfire didn’t make it any better. I love the houses, streets, and trolleys! So besides visiting these attractions here are a few other things to do. There is a lot of sailing tours, you can do a gourmet chocolate tour, oh, and don’t forget the Golden Gate Bridge.

7.

Washington, Distric of Columbia In 9th grade I was blessed enough to be able to travel to Washington, D.C. with my African American History class.

There is something about being in the same place the President resides is an amazing feeling. With Washington being one of the nation’s most popular tourist destinations, there is plenty to do.

8.

Honolulu, Hawaii I mean, come on. This is Hawaii we’re talking about here. Who doesn’t want to visit Hawaii? I have been plotting on taking a family trip here for a few years now. The cheapest package I found for a family of 5 was, $7671.06, through tavelocity.com.

And this is for a week-long trip. So depending on what flight you take, it’s possible that you could have a layover in San Francisco for about 5 hours and kill two birds with one stone.

9.

Grand Canyon, Arizona The Grand Canyon speaks for itself. It’s one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World. It is said to be 270 miles long, 18 miles wide, and one mile deep. You remember how on every family show how at some point of another they would mention something about a family trip to the Grand Canyon. Why not make your own memories.

10.

Orlando, Florida There are a variety of things to do in Orlando. There is Disney World, Universal Studios, Busch Gardens, Sea World, and the list goes on. So take your pick, pack up the family, and go.

5.

New Orleans, Louisiana Have you ever watched The Princess and the Frog? Don’t it make you just want to go down the bayou? Anyway, I’ve always had a yearning to visit this seemingly magnificent place. I love the way their homes are built and have always wanted to try the food. With all the things that go on: concerts, courtyard dining, tours, and festivals I’m sure it will be nothing but a good time!

6.

Share some of your favorite vacation spots with us on our Facebook page at: Christ It Up Magazine

San Fransico, California

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Say I Wont. Why Yall Scared to Be Different By: Kimberly Fairley Know the lyrics? It comes from the song “Say I won’t” by Lecrae, who happens to be one of my top 5 Christian rappers.

This song for me is one that defines one’s ability to defy all odds and norms, which is a life that I have sought to live.

Many times, I have felt like I had fallen into statistics that I never wanted to be defined by. No matter how many times I felt like I wanted to do and be better and no matter the dreams I had for success, I still somehow found myself an under educated, over worked, and underpaid single mother.

For most this is not a desirable place to be.

Here’s the reality of it all, no matter how bad, uncomfortable, or disgusted we feel with any given thing or status in our lives, those feelings are just simply not powerful enough to make or bring about any permanent change in our lives.

In my opinion there are three positions or stances towards change in life:

was by grace and an amazing landlord who knew my heart and intentions. I was only able to rectify this financial ignorance by seeking assistance, cutting out luxuries (like cable), and building a strict budget I was willing to live by.

As a result of these choices to be courageous and become a better steward, I am proud to share that this summer I will be blessed to embark on an amazing journey. My son and I will be spending the summer in Rome, Italy!! Many think I am rich, and quite the contrary. I am currently working 80 hours a week to ensure I maintain my bills and have money to enjoy ourselves.

After I paid off my home this year I was encouraged to “Just go. Just do it”. Naturally I had tons of excuses: “I don’t have the money”, “I’m a single mom”, “That’s not something black people do”. Any of those lies of the enemy sound familiar? I had to think for a moment after I tried to excuse my way out of this and I just said “WHY NOT?” Why can’t I go to Italy? I has 1.

CONTENT: You can say I really don’t care. I’m ok with always been my dream to visit, but I honestly never thought and will leave things the way they are.

I could. I never thought I’d have enough money for the plane 2.

COMPLAINER: You can desire change and talk about ticket alone and a hotel… Shoot I’m not rich. In spite of the what needs to be done without putting those steps into action. things I thought were against me, I used about half of my tax 3.

COURAGEOUS: You can acknowledge that change return (No I didn’t buy something ridiculous) to pay for the needs to happen and make all necessary steps to put those tickets which only cost me 1200 and I used resources to find a things into place. site called Airbnb, finding a place to stay for the two months I Now let me preface what I am about to say next. While I have will be away for only 800. That’s it! It cost all of 2,000 to make made up my mind on being courageous and making changes this trip happen. in my life, that doesn’t mean that I have ever really enjoyed It’s all about the things we value. Either you will keep putting doing so. I hate change. There is a lot of change around me. money into Nike’s, Jordan’s, or Bey’s pockets, or you will chose Many things that I cannot control. Most of the time, I just suck to live the good life while you’re here. Now I’m not saying at being able to adapt well and no matter where the change there is a problem with having nice things, but where are your is happening or how much I like the people involved, I will values? Are those “nice things” more important than financial most likely give some resistance. With that being said, I have stability that will allow you to have both nice things and enjoy still made and gone with the necessary changes that I knew the good life or will your life be based on a constant struggle needed to happen. of having the nice things, but never being able to enjoy more than shoes or things that will only stay with you for a moment So what have I done? Over the years since I had my son, and will be a thing of the past with the blink of an eye. (which was 9 years ago) I have published my first book, I choose the good life. I choose to have experiences that I can enrolled back into college to finish my bachelor’s degree, talk about forever. So say I won’t spend my entire summer purchased my first home (that I have paid off by the grace of enjoying the Italian life from June 12th, 2016 to August 18th, God), and many other changes that have allowed me to live 2016, embarking on my own Eat, Pray, and Love type of the “good life” so to speak. journey. I would love for you to experience this with me. No One of my biggest struggles was with my finances. It is it will not be the same as being there, but hey maybe it will unfortunate that many times we lack the necessary skills to spark a desire within your heart to be just as courageous! No maintain comfortable lives not because we simply don’t want can ever hold you back, but you. to, but because it is generational ignorance. One generation lacks skills and cannot teach the next, so we continue to pass Updates will be available at: Facebook & Twitter: on our lack of knowledge unwillingly. I had many years that brokenbeauty116, brokenbeauty116.com, or brokenbeauty116. my rent was late by months and my only means to catch up blogspot.com

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Coffee with Sister Doris Hello Sister Doris, Recently I got a really great promotion at work. Before that, my husband and I made around the same amount of money, so sharing the bills wasn't a problem.

This promotion allowed for me (us) to have extra cash, but every time the bills come around my husband acts like he has a problem paying his share. Does he expect me to pay all the bills just because I got a raise? I don't know how to approach him without him becoming defensive. Can you help me?

Signed, Promoted wife Promoted wife, I am so glad that you stopped by to see me today. We can sit on the porch to chat. I will grab iced tea from the fridge. So first let me say congratulations on the promotion. I know that you are so grateful and humbled that the Lord saw fit to bless your family with an increase in income.

Budgeting and financial problems are a huge issue in marriage and one of the leading causes for divorce. So I am glad that you are taking this seriously. Before I give you any tips I want to address your question: Does he expect me to pay all the bills just because I got a raise? The answer to this question may be a simple yes. In his mind, he may think that you have more money so now some of the pressure or burden that he was feeling can be lifted. In your mind, you are thinking wow we can pay the same amounts and I can have some of the burden lifted from me. I can now get more done.

So I would suggest that • REMEMBER THAT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE ONE Before you even sit down with your husband, acknowledge (within yourself) that your money is not your money. You and your husband are continually becoming one and growing in love. If you go into the conversation with the attitude that "he wants MY money," the conversation will end with an argument and no resolution. …. and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 • BE MONEY WISE FOR THE FAMILY Make a budget of all household bills – rent, car payments, transportation, light, gas, cable, internet, water, sewage, garbage, insurance, groceries, joint credit cards, daycare, tuition, etc.

This is so that you can both understand the total amount that it takes to run your family. Sometimes it seems that there is not enough money in the family because of extra expenses, such as video games, excessive amounts of shoes, clothes, expensive cellphones, entertainment, etc.

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Proverbs 4:7 • ESTABLISH A FINANCIAL VISION FOR YOUR FAMILY Let your husband know what you want to do with the family's increased income.

If you are planning to use the additional income to put in retirement, save for a vacation, save for a rainy day, or pay off debt, be clear with him. He may have the same vision. If your family has a goal to earn more money, the two of you can look into ways for both you and your husband to earn more money, for example going back to school, updating resumes, investments, etc. If your visions do not match, that is a bigger problem that needs to be discussed. You may need to sit and talk with a marriage counselor if you cannot come up with a resolution. … Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. Habakkuk 2:2 I hope that our chat helped.

Until next time, Sister Doris will be praying for you.

Have a question for Sister Doris? Send your submissions to christitup@yahoo.com

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23|CIU Summer 2016

The Black Man: Has he Given up on Faith?

By: Jamaila Thoroughbred Robinson

A lot of men these days appear to not be into religion as much as men in the older generations were. Are men now confused about religion? Or are they just easily giving up on faith? I ask this question because of a guy I knew who was very spiritual, but troubled. He prayed one day that if God would send him this one particular woman that he would change his life around for the good. God did indeed bless this man with this woman, but unfortunately he was soon incarcerated. While being incarcerated the woman sadly vacated the relationship and the man’s faith in God had disappeared. He had become angry at God and even came to believe that our Savior was not real because of this situation.

Do our men lose faith, hope, and belief when bad things go wrong? How can we keep that mustard seed of faith to stay within our men’s spiritual mentality when pain, depression, and disappointment happens?

Maybe It’s time to get more of our men back into church and start teaching them that even when things that they pray for goes wrong - that it doesn’t mean that God is not on their side! Men have very big egos and sometimes it looks hard for them to surrender to another. But surrendering is what we must get them to do! God says in James 1:6 “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” And our men seem to be definitely being tossed and blown by the wind! They do not know which way to go when being depressed and may use anger and resentment of the Lord to lash out violently. Let’s save our men by teaching them about mustard seed faith, and how Jesus said that it only takes a mustard seed amount of faith and confidence in the principles of the Kingdom of God to remove huge barriers, even mountains! Jesus also said if you have a mustard seed amount of faith in the Word of God, nothing would be impossible to you. It is our job as people of faith to instill these beliefs back into our black men. We cannot let them self-destruct and give up when their faith becomes weakened. It’s time to bring back faith for all.

37% 24|CIU Summer 2016

Of Black Men attend church frequently, according to the National Review.

now that you have decided to live your life that you must ask yourself these questions and put your plan in motion for your life.

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