2019 MF DECEMBER

Contributors

About the Cover

It’s my favorite time of year! Between the extended leave days, smell of Christmas trees and a good excuse to watch “A Christmas Story” on repeat, it’s also the month of a time-honored tradition in our community — and in my household: Army-Navy. Inside this issue, we dive into the behindthe-scenes preparation of the two military academies ahead of America’s game. I’ll admit I have a slight loyalty to the Navy team because of my husband’s service in the Marine Corps, but have no fear because AmeriForce Media is a house divided with our fearless leader being a proud West Point grad. December 14th will answer the question of who gets bragging rights for the year.

We are also in celebration mode as we learn the story of Alison Evans, an Air Force wife who just hit 1000 days sober. She opens up about the complicated road to self-realization that she had to make changes — and

guess what, the commitment paid off.

For all of the positivity this season brings, it is also one of the hardest times of year for many people. Whether deployed or missing someone who is, or struggling with loss, financial stress or any other possible life challenge, the most wonderful time of the year may not feel like it for some. It is our responsibility to check in on our friends, extend an invite to the new family in the neighborhood or perform a random act of kindness. Make the time. Set a reminder. Show up to the unit holiday party. Open your home. Get it done.

In whatever way you mark this month, and the concluding end to 2019, our entire team hopes you are surrounded by happiness. Thanks for spending the year with us!

Bianca M. Strzalkowski

Another sign of the holidays: Gunny Claus! The Marine Corps’ own version of Saint Nick delivers a unique spin on the famous Christmas character.

Photo by Lance Cpl. Manuel R. Benavides.

Ashton Reagin

Rebecca Alwine

Alison Paul Klakowicz

Tara Glenn

Tiffany Eve Lawrence

Jessica Evans

Crystal Kupper

Marines in San Diego, California, receive instruction from Amanda Mays, owner of Pineapple Yoga Retreat, LLC.

Photo by Alyson Lofgren.

by Crystal Kupper

by Rebecca Alwine

Military Families Magazine by AmeriForce Media, LLC, is published 12 times a year for active duty service members and their families. Copies are available through participating family service centers, relocation offices, transition offices, base lodges, libraries, daycare centers, MWR activities and other locations by request. Unit distribution requests can be made online at www.AmeriForceMedia.com/ mf/print-magazines/

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NO EXCUSES

Make your health the number one priority

By Maddie Dolan

It’s almost that time of year when people take stock of their lives and create resolutions for the coming year. Why wait? A military spouse created a tool to help aspiring fitness enthusiasts get healthy with exercises that adapt to a busy lifestyle.

Tabitha Fitness Wellness Warrior’s “5 Week Warrior Fit Guide” is designed to help people build strength, improve endurance and cut fat with three easy-to-do-anywhere workouts every week.

“I designed the program so that it will work for all fitness levels, regardless of whether you are a beginner just starting your fitness

journey, or if you are an advanced fitness fanatic,” Tabitha Martin, the woman behind Wellness Warrior, said. “The program is done with minimal equipment so you don’t have to have access to a gym with fancy equipment to complete the workouts.”

Martin, a spouse to a Navy lieutenant, knows firsthand the struggle of depression, weight gain and health issues, combined with a bustling daily routine. She had

been battling Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, was overweight and was depressed as a result of a large, personal loss. When Martin started looking for answers, she learned about fitness and nutrition and how she could use them to manage her PCOS and depression.

Now Martin is an Ironman 70.3 Cebu finisher with another endurance race on the horizon, and considers her health a number one priority. She has a diploma in personal training and a certificate in nutrition from the National Personal Training Institute. She is also a certified health coach working with holistic nutrition from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. All of this fuels her in-person boot camp on Guam in addition to her online demonstrations and the “5 Week Warrior Fit Guide.”

“When I created this program, I wanted it to be realistic and flexible,” Martin said. “Not everyone can commit to five to six days of one-hour workouts in the gym, and starting a program that requires that typically means setting yourself up to fail. Schedules change, life happens and a program that is flexible can accommodate that! Having three total-body workouts each week allows you the flexibility to move your workout days/times around to fit your schedule.”

The “5 Week Warrior Fit Guide” is also made to fit around the military lifestyle by allowing users to have continuity in their fitness journey despite permanent change of stations or deployments.

Photo by Samantha Rudolph Photography.

Time to Salute Your American Hero!

By Ashton Reagin

Military families move often enough that holiday décor can easily get lost, ruined or shoved in the wrong box. You may even find yourself with plenty of festive decorations but no room to use them at the current or next duty station. Being organized and knowing where everything is will save you time and money. If you take the time to properly stow all holiday décor after the season ends, it will be much easier and fun to decorate the following year.

Here’s four ways to organize your festive decorations so you can easily find them in 2020:

Purge. Before embarking on the quest to optimal organization, take inventory of all your current holiday decorations. Throw anything out that is broken and cannot be fixed. If it is broken and can be fixed, set a deadline to get it done within 10 days or toss it.

If you no longer wish to use certain pieces or themes, you should give them away to a friend or a local charity.

Storage. Proper storage is the key to success in any organization project. You will need an assortment of storage containers and tools based

upon the shape and size of the item.

Clear bins that are airtight are a great way to store your seasonal décor so you can see what is in the container. It is good practice to store like items in the same container. For example, you should have a different bin for each of these, such as ribbons, lights, shatter-proof ornaments, breakable ornaments, flat ornaments, tree picks, garland, figurines, tabletop décor and gift wrapping supplies.

To avoid the hassle of untangling lights next year, wrap the lights around your arm as you dismantle them then tie in place to keep the shape. Shatter-proof ornaments for any holiday occasion are one of the most favorable options because you can simply toss them in a storage tote and know they are safe. However, if you do have breakable ornaments, you should buy the storage tote that has dividers to keep them safe. Be sure to wrap each ornament in bubble wrap first before placing it in the bin.

A pegboard with hooks or wall space with flip-up tool hangers are both great ways to store wreaths and wooden door hangers in a small closet or attic space. To keep dust

and dirt off them, place a plastic garbage bag over them before hanging on the racks. When you are ready to move, simply buy a shallow cardboard box for each wreath in its size, pull the wreaths off the hooks, and place it into its box.

Location. For indoor holiday décor, you should find a dedicated spot inside the house to store all items. If you have no other option than to store in a garage or outside storage shed, ensure that you have taken the proper precautions to protect all pieces from changes in weather and pests.

Labels. Even if you have the clear storage bins, labeling what is in the box helps to keep everything streamlined. You can either use a label machine or get creative and customize cute tags from the local craft store.

Not only can organizing your holiday decorations save you time and money but when you use methods that are simple, effective, and enjoyable to look at, it makes the organization fun and sustainable.

Ashton Reagin is a Marine Corps spouse who created Organized Chaos™, a military lifestyle brand and digital planning app specifically designed to help military families streamline their chaotic, oftentimes stressful yet rewarding life. Learn more at https://operationorganizedchaos.com

Trans-Pacific business gives Marines, Sailors access to yoga

By Rebecca Alwine

From San Diego to Guam and back again, Amanda Mays built Pineapple Yoga Retreat, LLC after the stars aligned. With a focus on building community, the Navy wife found exactly what she needed to adjust to a new location and help others discover peace on the mat. Now she works with local commands to incorporate the benefits of yoga into physical training for activeduty service members.

From marketing to yoga

As a native New Yorker with a marketing background, Mays wanted to make a career change after moving to California to be with her sailor. She fell in love with yoga, got certified as a teacher and for several years balanced her new found field with marketing.

“Yoga was the first time I was ever able to turn down the volume on my mind,” Mays said. “I never

learned how to have a coping mechanism. Yoga is the place where I can be myself, my heart rate calms down, my thoughts relax. It helps me so much that I was desperate to share that with everyone else.”

When her spouse received orders to Guam, Mays was ready (before the move) to leave marketing behind and go full-time with yoga.

“I knew I had to quit before we moved and wanted to make the most of the time,” she said. “I worked fulltime as a studio assistant and taught yoga — it was the best decision I ever made. I never worked harder and was as happy for so little money in my life.”

Mays admits the first six months in Guam were pretty tough. “It’s a tough spot for spouse employment and I really missed the community I had in San Diego,” she said.

She wanted to recreate that

community in Guam, so she started teaching on the installation and in parks — none of which could be a long-term solution due to permits and licenses.

Finding and developing community

Mays hooked up with another military spouse, who was teaching at a local CrossFit Gym. That spouse was leaving Guam, so Mays moved into her spot on the yoga deck there.

“I taught five days a week, hired another teacher, started programs like a yoga brunch, and eventually led some yoga retreats for the community.”

The population in Guam is mostly military, and the studio enjoyed a diverse customer base that included medical personnel, spouses, parents, and even some service members.

“It was a community that had military people in it but it wasn’t a military community,” Mays said. And that was appealing for so many.

Being in a local CrossFit gym, she was in a position to include the local population.

“Guam can be very separate, but the gym was about fostering community,” Mays said. One of the ways Mays connected on the ground was by working with a local business owner.

“I met Amanda as she walked into my restaurant on Guam to place a take-out order,” Brian Artero of Crust Pizzeria remembered. “We started talking and her yoga passion came up, we became friends. Amanda wanted to do something fresh and I think it was her idea to do a yoga brunch at my pizzeria.”

He was immediately struck by Mays’ “magnetic and infectious

personality.” That’s what brought him to try yoga, a practice he has maintained since then.

“She made an impact on the island community quite quickly and interacted with so many people, and I am sure, improved the quality of their lives just by being a friend to them,” Artero said.

Building relationships across the Pacific

In addition to working with Artero for yoga brunch, Mays also connected with units to lead command PT, which is how she met Stephanie Strine, a Marine.

“We met in San Diego at a friend’s birthday party and bonded over the fact that we both taught at CorePower Yoga and stayed in contact after that,” Strine said.

They stayed in touch when Mays moved to Guam.

“I looked up to her creativity, honesty, and vulnerability from afar while she was in Guam and was (secretly) hoping she would return to San Diego so I could take her classes/ workshops and learn from her!”

Upon her move back to San Diego, Strine had Mays come teach yoga to her Marines on Marine Corps Air Station Miramar.

“She led the most accessible, multilevel class that I could have hoped for; my bosses and Marines alike raved about the class. She made us feel refreshed, light, and empowered; additionally, she shared with us that she was missing the community that she had in Guam which shows that Amanda not only created a network

while overseas but even more so, a lifelong community in her time living in Guam,” Strine said.

Benefits of yoga for military members

Yoga is known for its many benefits for all fitness levels, like improving body image and lowering cholesterol and blood pressure. It can also have a positive impact on overall fitness, according to Harvard Health Publications, in areas of muscle strength, flexibility and endurance. For a demographic, such as the military, whose career depends on PFT scores, yoga offers a unique activity with promising results.

In addition to private studios, like Pineapple Yoga Retreat, LLC, installations offer group fitness opportunities with yoga classes. Service members and military dependents can find current class times on the local installation website.

What’s next

Mays has set her sights on adapting

her business to the needs of California’s clientele.

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to recreate that [the community she had in Guam] here. The market is different in the wellness industry here in San Diego,” she said.

In the meantime, she’s been looking for a physical space for her business so she can establish a weekly schedule, recreate her yoga brunches, and start working on retreats.

“It’s hard to feel like you have a space where you can be around likeminded people, even somewhere as big as San Diego,” Mays explained.

Though she knows staying in one place isn’t a given in the military community, Mays hopes to be able to stay as long as possible once opening a location in San Diego. She wants to establish roots and continue to be a part of the community, even after she moves.

“Every time we leave, I want Pineapple Yoga to stay and contribute to the local community — even if I’m not physically there to do it.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: The first part of this interview appeared in the November 2019 issue of Military Families Magazine. It can be accessed online at https://militaryfamilies.com/military-veterans/mattistalks-leadership-career-progression.

Former SecDef looks ahead to life after service

By Bianca M. Strzalkowski

Retired Marine Gen. James Mattis recently penned a new book, “Call Sign Chaos,” detailing his youth, philosophies on leadership, and how he unexpectedly found himself called out of retirement to serve as the 26th secretary of defense. Among the notable accomplishments attached to his career, it is perhaps his relationship with the troops that will become the most prominent part of his legacy. The reverence for the longtime leader transcends service branch

and rank as he finds himself the subject of memes, military blogs, and even 2020 campaign bumper stickers.

“With no false modesty, I think I was a pretty average Marine. I was always in the right place at the right time. But I spent a fair amount of time trying to make very clear what my intent was and I just kind of liked the troops. It was an affection I had for them. It’s why I stuck around the military,” he said. “And I would always reward initiative,

even if once in a while it got them in trouble. Then I would make very clear the end state, ‘when it’s done, we’ll be positioned ready to cross the Tigris River.’

Then I’d take my hand off the steering wheel, I’d wander around and see how they’re doing. I didn’t believe in command and control, I wanted command and feedback.”

He often examines the successes and failures of leadership for its correlation to unit cohesion. Building up trust is not enough, he says, rather NCOs and officers need to be tough, but “always tough on their (Marines) side.”

“I sometimes wondered why a 40man platoon here was so smooth moving against the enemy, even when they were taking casualties, and here was a 160-man company — it was still capable, trained well, recruited the same — but why was a 40-man platoon so effective against an enemy when a larger unit was not as agile, not as smooth? I think the word is affection,” he said.

Four decades with the Marines

Mattis enlisted in the Marine Corps Reserve at age 18, then was commissioned a second lieutenant in 1971 after graduating from Central Washington University. He would serve as a Marine Corps officer until his departure in 2013. But retirement didn’t last long. A call about an interview with then President-elect Donald Trump for the defense secretary position thrust Mattis back into the public’s eye.

He was no stranger to what the role required as he served as senior military assistant to the deputy secretary of defense, executive secretary to the secretary of defense,

among other billets, according to the Department of Defense website.

What’s next?

Late last year, Mattis resigned his Pentagon position citing policy differences with the president. “Call Sign Chaos,” which is co-authored with Bing West, has kept him busy since.

“First, I wasn’t going to write a book and one of my mentors — I’ve had many over the years — said, ‘you know you’ve been lucky and you’ve learned a lot from your reading and you ought to pass on the way you adopted things to your style so others can see it,’” Mattis said.

The book targets those in the military and business with the following takeaways:

1. Trust is the coin of the realm in leaders: You have to be able to trust your subordinates and trust your seniors, and when you’ve told them what you want, train them, and then delegate as much authority for decisions and just take your hands off the steering wheel. You’re still responsible, but don’t try to make all the decisions.

2. Allies: I never fought once without allies, never once with all Americans, and so nations with allies thrive and nations without allies die. Treat them with respect.

As he prepares to start the second act of his retirement, Mattis plans to keep it simple in civilian life.

“I’m going to travel more around the American West, I’m going to do more rock climbing, and I’m going to read books that have nothing to do with fighting.”

Sign Chaos”

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“Call

Air Force wife hits 1000 days of sobriety

By Crystal Kupper

“Something else” has morphed into a reached goal that Evans — and her supportive community, including those stationed with her at Travis Air Force Base — is extraordinarily proud of: 1000 days of sobriety.

“whenever we could get someone to buy booze for us.”

“I was always the one to go a step above everyone else,” she says. “I always took it one step further.”

Evans wasn’t picky; beer, wine or liquor would do. As the years passed, drinking regularly just became part of her normal routine. Having kids changed her habits slightly, but the “mommy wine” culture made binging too easy to resume once each pregnancy finished.

“Alison?” Knock, knock. “Alison!”

Through her haze in the front seat, Air Force wife Alison Evans slurred the pieces together. She and her three young children were in her van, parked in their Sacramento garage while the engine ran. Her daycare provider, for some reason, was there calling her name. The garage door was blessedly open while the kids fussed from the backseat.

Then, it all came flooding back: her husband being gone again for a mission. The percolating illness, leaving Evans feeling like death. The isolation from her family across the country. The desperate attempt to get through her work and mothering duties by medicating with alcohol and Xanax. The drive to pick the

kids up from daycare and back.

And the parking in the garage just before passing out.

“That was my moment,” the 35-year-old personal trainer says. “I was just ready for something else.”

Slow slip

Evans grew up in Georgia and South Carolina, an average American teenager who loved to dance competitively. The first time she was offered alcohol, she declined and immediately felt uncomfortable. But one year later, around age 16, Evans transferred schools and “started going with the wrong crowd,” as she explains. That meant partying and drinking whenever she could, or

“I couldn’t wait until the weekend, because then I could really consume what I wanted to consume, which was upwards of two bottles,” she explains. “It became a way to relax and self-medicate.”

From the outside, Evans’ life looked enviable. She was married to an Air Force major and had three beautiful children, a master’s degree and a school counseling job. The 349th Air Mobility Wing even named her its “Key Spouse of the Year” in 2016.

“But as it got worse, I felt ashamed,” she admits. “Even if I went out, I could feel my face turning red because I felt like people knew my dirty little secret.”

And so the alcohol usage intensified, with Evans often getting through her days hungover or buzzed. At her husband’s suggestion, she started seeing a

therapist in early 2014, eventually uncovering the truth about Evans’ connection between anxiety and alcohol. The nugget of insight made her feel like she could better moderate her drinking, leading to a 100-day alcohol fast.

But once Evans had her third child, “it was all downhill from there,” she says. After two cross-country trips that morphed into benders — so much so that she could not perform her duties as a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding — the addict knew that her marriage, motherhood and livelihood were on the line.

“I know now it was just such compounded emotions,” Evans said. “I wanted to numb myself from it all.”

She tried Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, but its philosophy didn’t quite click. Then came January 24, 2017, and the close call in her garage. Thankfully, her daycare provider had followed Evans home on a hunch and saved the family from possible catastrophe.

Bouncing back

“You know how you have that boyfriend you keep breaking up with and getting back together again? Then you just hit that point where you know you’re done?” Evans asks. “I hit that hard. I had that moment of clarity.”

Her children safe with the daycare provider, Evans slept it off. The next day, as she was still recovering, her van wouldn’t start.

Evans took it as a sign and stumbled to a neighbor’s house to ask for help. She knew that there might be dangerous physical consequences if she tried to quit cold-turkey. And she was right; her blood-alcohol level was sky-high, leading to a trip to the hospital before admitting

herself to a detox center.

Her husband caught a red-eye back from Hawaii. After a few days of detoxing, first at the center and then at home, Evans felt ready to return to work.

She was free.

“It’s been smooth sailing since,” Evans beams.

Evans now holds a second master’s degree — this time in Exercise Science — and a growing personal training/recovery coaching clientele both locally and online. Her business is appropriately called Teetotally Fit , where she often incorporates themes from both fitness and abstaining. Clients trying to get either in shape, off booze or both come for her nojudgment, been-there-conqueredthat style.

On October 22, 2019, Evans shared the exciting news on Teetotally Fit’s

Instagram and Facebook pages: she had not touched a drop of alcohol for exactly 1000 days.

“I don’t need alcohol to ‘survive’ mothehrhood. I don’t need it to enhance or bond in my marriage,” she wrote. “I don’t need it to attend weddings, events, concerts, or to celebrate! I don’t need it when times get tough, and emotions run high because those moments are temporary…Who I am without wine or beer or liquor running through my veins is ENOUGH!”

Indeed. Instead of craving alcohol as she once did, Evans now feels unchained from its vicious grasp.

“When I look back at who I used to be, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would get to this point,” Evans says, her voice replete with awe. “[One thousand days] is more than just a number. It’s defining who I am now — someone who is completely new and who has grown into her true self.”

If you or a loved one need help with an alcohol addiction, please call the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services’ Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration 24/7 hotline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Co-parenting with your ex

By Tara Glenn

The “co” in co-parenting stands for cooperation.

The concepts of co-parenting and collaborative divorce can be hard to understand in a culture where in one breath we encourage women who are unhappy in their relationships to leave, then in the next breath we urge both parties to fight to the death over everything:

who gets the house, the car, the kids, the ability to make decisions, even over the dog.

When my ex-husband and I separated, we never had a conversation about what type of divorce to pursue. Once we knew that the end of the relationship was imminent, we quickly realized that it wasn’t in the best interest of

our family to allow a judge to make decisions for our children, as he/she didn’t even know us and this was the most vulnerable time of our lives.

In a perfect world, a custody agreement would forecast everything that could ever come up, but if we put the energy into trying to agree on every detail, that agreement would be the size of a military training manual with the added negotiations of hypothetical situations that may not ever matter.

Raising whole children in a “broken” family

At the time of our divorce, I never envisioned the co-parenting relationship we have today, nor did

Glenn and her ex-husband have learned cooperation and collaboration are the key to co-parenting. Submitted photo.

I ever expect for my ex-husband or his wife to feel like an extended part of our blended family. As I started working for an attorney specializing in collaborative divorce, and we started dating our new spouses, our co-parenting relationship started shifting drastically when collaboration had a positive impact on both households.

The Christmas after our divorce was the holiday that really defined our co-parenting relationship. We agreed that year that I would have them for the holiday itself, but we hadn’t thought to coordinate the issue of gifts ahead of time. We also agreed that we would do what was best for our children, always. So there I was sitting next to their

small pile of gifts that I worked so hard for, and I realized they would wake up without a gift from their dad. My greatest concern at that point was knowing my daughters would feel forgotten by their daddy when they only saw gifts from myself and my now-husband. I took the “it gifts” of the year and wrote “Love, Daddy” on the gift tags. I then shot off a text to my exhusband since they would insist on calling to thank him.

It was at that point I think my ex-husband realized how serious I was in continuing to be a parenting team for our children. I hope that as our children grow, they don’t realize until they’re much older what a divorce is because they felt so loved and cared for despite their own parents going through one.

We

don’t call parenting visitation

Despite the legal terminology, we don’t use the word visitation in our home to describe our kids’ visits with their dad. It is simply his turn to parent. We also deviate from our schedule as much as possible so that he can see them more often. Got a family vacation? No problem. If we have a trip up north planned, we

make arrangements to stop by. And, if we have a reason why we can’t give 100% to parent them, such as moving or health issues, the other parent is our first call.

As their primary caregiver, we are so blessed to see them so much, and we look forward to co-locating after the military so that our children can come and go between our homes as they please.

Communication is key… even for the kids.

The kids are also allowed to call anyone in the family over video chat. We work together to send small gifts and care packages to their family members. As parents, we learned that helping the girls celebrate all of their family has helped the adults foster and repair our own relationships with each other, as well as close the distance the girls may feel with faraway family members.

Visit https://www. militaryonesource.mil/leadersservice-providers/parenting to find resources from Military OneSource on parenting, counseling and tools to strengthen your family.

Tara Glenn’s husband, Justin, with daughter Elsie. Submitted photo.

Active-duty moms want to breastfeed without pressure

By Tiffany Eve Lawrence

In recent years breastfeeding has become a hot topic on the list of trending, controversial conversations. From the “Breast is Best Campaign” to “Fed is Best,” moms reveal a variety of emotions when it comes to a very personal decision. They’ve been judged and shamed for choosing not to breastfeed and have also been made to feel like they are indecently exposing themselves if they nurse in public. The reality is, even mothers who take on the feat of breastfeeding face their own set of challenges depending on how their body produces, the unique needs of their baby and their daily environment.

Jamieson almost gave up on breastfeeding. When she realized it was postpartum depression, she got help. Submitted photo.

Active-duty mothers are not exempt from these challenges, and they even have an additional set of obstacles.

Rachel Taylor, a certified lactation consultant who has worked with active-duty mothers, finds the most common concern is the length of time these service members will be able to breastfeed their babies. Federal law requires employers to accommodate mothers with a reasonable break time to express milk only during the first year after baby is born, according to the

Department of Labor. So, where does that leave mothers who want to continue to nurse? If they can’t express, their milk supply starts to subside.

Alyssa Simmons and Nichole

Jamieson are both E4 Specialists in the Army and new mothers. While their babies are younger than a year old, both mothers are pleased with the support they’ve received during their transition back to work.

Simmons has been in the Army for six years. She and her husband are dual military, stationed at Fort Carson, Colorado, and their son is six months old.

Jamieson, a single mother to her seven-month-old, has been in the Army for five years. She’s also stationed at Fort Carson.

Both women open up about how their breastfeeding journey has been so far.

How was breastfeeding for you initially?

Simmons: My son spent a week in the NICU and I wasn’t allowed

The Simmons family set breastfeeding milestones. Their next goal is to make it to nine months. Submitted photo.

to breastfeed him until he was five days old. He had a lip and tongue tie so it was very painful. Surgery was advised against because he has a bleeding disorder.

Jamieson: He latched perfectly. I was very blessed with my chain of command because everyone in my unit is currently deployed. I’m lucky to be on rear duty and have a commander that is supportive of me breastfeeding.

Share the wildest thing that has happened to you in regards to breastfeeding.

Simmons: The night my milk came in we were eating out. I had to get up every 15 minutes and hand express in the restroom because it felt like boulders were sitting on my chest!

Jamieson: The first time I had to breastfeed in public was pretty awful. I was at a grocery store and I didn’t bring my cover with me. When I started nursing, an older woman walked by me and said, ‘That is disgusting and you are so disturbed to do something like this in public.’ I lost it on her. I told her to leave the baby section because I’m a single mother and I’m going to do what I have to do.

How have the challenges of breastfeeding affected you mentally and emotionally?

Simmons: People don’t talk about the moments when you resent it. I would just want my body back and not to be a food machine. But verbalizing it makes you feel like a bad parent.

Jamieson: In the beginning it hit hard. I would be up seven times in the middle of the night to nurse because he would cluster feed. He

ate all the time and my breasts hurt. It fueled my postpartum depression.

What has been the hardest part about your breastfeeding process after returning to work?

Simmons: On lunch I would go to his daycare to see him and nurse, but he cries hard when I leave and then I would just cry in the parking lot. I decided to stay away and make it easier for him.

Jamieson: I used to pump three times a day, but now I nurse during the day at lunch and I don’t pump until I get home from work. I’m still able to produce what my son needs. If everyone was still here and not deployed, I feel like my supply would decrease because I wouldn’t get enough pump sessions in, so I’m really lucky with my situation.

What stood out about the prenatal breastfeeding class you attended?

Simmons: They encouraged breastfeeding, but they also said if it’s not succeeding and you don’t feel like it’s good for your mental health then stop.

Jamieson: When my sister went to a breastfeeding class, they said breastfeeding is the most important thing. Her milk never came in and all she could think about was how they made it seem like you’re a bad parent for not breastfeeding. Here at Evans hospital, they said “fed is

best” and I didn’t feel pressured. There are also counselors who can help if breastfeeding isn’t working for you and your baby.

There is no concrete end to the debate of how a mother should feed her baby, just as there is no end to the judgment that follows whichever choice she makes. What Jamieson and Simmons value most is that they didn’t feel pressured by their prenatal team to do something that might not work for them.

Jamieson’s advice to moms is, “If you can’t breastfeed, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. If it takes a toll on you mentally then get help. If I didn’t do counseling, I wouldn’t still be breastfeeding.”

Simmons adds, “Stop listening to people who say it’s easy and natural because some people have to work at it. Just be prepared for where your breastfeeding journey takes you.

Explore your duty station one kilometer at a time

By Jessica Evans

Modern-day spouse clubs are opting to shake up the traditional model of support by offering unique opportunities to connect. United States Army Garrison Bavaria, as an example, established a hiking and running group to help spouses stationed overseas get outside and explore new surroundings. It not only improves relationships, but it also impacts health.

For most of us, the passing of the seasons is seen through windows and rushed commutes from one indoor location to the next. Market-research group Nielsen says that adults are spending over 11 hours in front of a screen. Four years ago, it was only nine. This digitally-connected world has its benefits — especially for those stationed far from their comfort zone — but it also has drawbacks. The National Institutes of Health says that more screen time is directly related to higher body mass index numbers and less overall life satisfaction.

Though it is known that going outside is essential, it can be hard for spouses to find their tribe, especially when they’re new to an area. Fitness specialist Anna Olson says it’s among the reasons she loves her job, because she gets to help bridge that gap.

Parkstein is a small town of roughly 2500 residents. Submitted photo.

“For me, seeing spouses get stronger and more engaged with their community is amazing. Not only are they here to get stronger, but they start to feel better too. That’s a big win,” said Olson.

Seeing the world one kilometer at a time

Running has been shown to have innumerable health benefits. Among those, the American Medical Association reports that runners have less risk of developing chronic conditions, have stronger hearts, and greater lung capacity. Aside from the physical benefits, running can also help reduce stress and increase the feel-good hormones produced in the brain. Some find running intimidating, but Annamarie McCormick-Howell is out to change that. She thinks that running is one of the best ways for spouses to connect with others, especially when they’re new to the community.

“Everyone deserves to have someone cheering for them,” said McCormick-Howell.

With both undergraduate and graduate degrees in the education field, McCormick-Howell has been encouraging service members and military spouses to better themselves in one way or another

during her nine years as an Army wife. It all started with a desire to provide the Army community with a reason to get outside and log some distances, even if those distances are small to start.

Built on the idea that the community at large should have access to quality encouragement, McCormick-Howell says running is one of the most accessible, social sports. She thinks that it’s the best way for spouses stationed overseas to get to know their new “home.”

“Once you take that first step, your running routes are literally limitless. There’s a space and style for everyone. It’s the best way to be a tourist. Choose a race near your new military home that goes through a cool city and allows you to see it through a different lens,” said McCormick-Howell.

The Neustadt bike path is one of many attractions for military families looking to explore outdoors.

She works with MWR Bavaria and offers running classes to get military spouses outdoors.

Hikes and climbs

The vast Oberpfalz Forest is a mountain range in central Europe divided between Germany and Czechia. This dense forest region surrounds most of the installations in Bavaria and makes for fantastic hiking — if you can navigate the trailheads being in German and learn the rules. Not only can hikers discover amazing historical treasures, like towns steeped in medieval history, but there are also pristine natural settings that make a perfect backdrop for a restive weekend adventure.

Castles and restaurants are in abundance in this region but getting to them can be difficult. Fortunately for those stationed here, Grafenwoehr, Germany, has a solution.

Christa Rolls, an active-duty military spouses, heads up the “Get Into Nature!” hiking program that shows local residents the beauty of the German countryside. She plans monthly hikes and is an integral part of the Education Outreach Program, which assists those with an interest in hiking who may feel like it’s an inaccessible activity for them.

“Maps of much of the region are already established, so we pick a hike based on distance. We’re looking for hikes that are five kilometers or less, especially since lots of spouses bring young kids on the hikes,” Rolls said.

To educate spouses about this dynamic area, she tries to make each hike engaging and fun. There’s plenty to see in the area, like Parkstein, Germany — a small town built on a dormant volcano that offers a decent hike and lots of geological history.

“If we see a cool tree, we’ll stop and talk about that. We try to integrate the hike with environmental science and ecology education. If we find bugs or fungi, we’ll talk about those things and try to get our hands a little bit dirty,” she explained

Instead of just watching the seasons pass through the windows, “Get Into Nature!” encourages participants to find something new

to appreciate in the region.

“We try to allow people the chance to integrate with the environment really well, to feel more comfortable getting outside, especially here in Europe where people can potentially feel sometimes isolated ... It’s hard when you don’t know anybody, and the signs are in a totally different language,” Rolls said. ““Get Into Nature!” helps eliminate some of these challenges.”

We protect your smile

As a military retiree, you now have choices in your dental coverage through the Federal Employees Vision and Dental Insurance Program (FEDVIP). Delta Dental has proudly provided dental coverage to the military retiree community for the last 20 years and is proud to offer you choices in FEDVIP.

Choose Delta Dental Here’s why:

• Choose from two high-quality, affordable plans designed to meet your needs.

• Preventive care shouldn’t cost you anything, that’s why it’s 100% covered when you visit a FEDVIP network dentist.

• Chances are, your dentist is already a part of our large, nationwide FEDVIP network. Learn more at deltadentalins.com/fedvip/tricare

Federal Employees Dental Program is administered by the Federal Government Programs division of Delta Dental of California through its subsidiary Delta Dental Insurance Company (DDIC).

Kids Rank bakes up entrepreneur program for military children

By Alison Paul Klakowicz

Military kids are building success one cookie at a time with a new program aimed at training young entrepreneurs.

Sweets by Kids: A Military Child Company was launched by Kids Rank, a service-based organization designed for military kids. It engages participants in hands-on, skill building projects and volunteer opportunities. The entrepreneur program runs for eight weeks, teaching students in sixth through 10th grades about business from a wholesale perspective — including the process of bringing a product to market from idea to distribution.

Last month, Sweets by Kids announced its newest sweet treat called the Lemon-der, a delicious lemon lavender cookie.

“All money goes back into Kids Rank so we are able to run all of these different clubs and programs,” said Andrew Washington, a 13-year-old middle school student and member of Sweets by Kids public relations team.

Andrew emphasized that all sales proceeds are reinvested back into the club’s programs and supplies in order to create a successful business and program.

Kids Rank’s mission is to support the physical, emotional, intellectual and social needs of military children through structured activities that encourage resilience. Participants are awarded ribbons in recognition of members’ achievements in categories such as adapt, bravery, courage, and determination to build lifelong skills to successfully meet life’s future challenges.

“The entrepreneurial program does a great job at providing the kids

with a foundation for basic life skills such as budgeting and public speaking. We want our kids to move forward inspired and with a sense of confidence,” Stacey Reisinger, an Army spouse and program coordinator for Kids Rank, said.

Youth work in teams of finance, logistics, marketing and public relations. In 2018, Sweets by Kids sold over 3,600 cookies wholesale, retail to a local grocery store chain, and to a dozen corporate partners and individuals throughout Illinois. This year the team is determined to drastically increase that number.

Avery Reisinger, 13, is this year’s cookie theme originator as she was inspired by a Lemonade War at her middle school where she served lemon and lavender lemonade. Hence, her inspiration for the Lemon-der cookie.

“I love it because it gives kids the opportunity to make relationships and grow,” Avery said.

Kids Rank Club and Sweets by Kids was the brainchild of Kelcey Liverpool, a military spouse and executive director of the organization.

“It is amazing to watch kids sit in front of corporate organizations

such as a major hotel chain and grocery chains, and have confidence to pitch the message (of Sweets by Kids),” said Liverpool of the team participants.

When asked about the future of the organization to reach military kids outside of Illinois, she explained that growth plans are on the horizon.

“We would like to be a national organization. … we have a really good board. … but want to go slow so we do not affect the integrity of the program,” she added.

ARMY-NAVY

Whose year will it be?

By Crystal Kupper

The very first time the Army and Navy football teams met on the field, more than 270 Corps of Cadets members gave 52 cents each to pay half of Navy’s traveling costs.

It’s safe to say that the annual Army-Navy football game has gotten slightly more expensive since November 29, 1890. But the spirit of one of the oldest rivalries in college football — and certainly the one with the most pageantry — is still intact, culminating this year in the 120th meeting between the Black Knights and Midshipmen on December 14.

“It’s seriously the most special football game played all year; you hear about it for months on end,” says Army captain and senior linebacker Cole Christiansen. “I remember my first time [playing Navy], I was awestruck.”

That’s a common feeling amongst the men from the United States Military Academy at West Point and the United States Naval Academy, not to mention the millions of viewers around the globe. And why wouldn’t it be? The Army-Navy contest is called “America’s Game” for good reason, with patriotic touches abounding: the “prisoner exchange,” where students who attend the rival school watch the

game with their home team. The “March On” hours before kickoff. The flyovers. The Star-Spangled Banner. Each team joining the other in singing both fight songs at the game’s end, no matter who wins.

Lately, that’s been Army — for the last three years, to be exact. Though Navy ultimately leads the series overall with 60 wins versus Army’s 52 (plus seven ties), the Black Knights have nabbed the W every time its current seniors have competed against the Midshipmen.

“In competition, [the Black Knights are] not my friends; on the field, they’re not my friends,” asserts senior Midshipmen linebacker and captain Paul Carothers. “It’s something I’ve always said, that my dad always said: in competition, we’re supposed to battle.”

Army finished the 2018 season ranked No. 19 in the Associated Press poll, while Navy has cracked the top 25 in the current season. Millions from dozens of time zones will be glued to their screens, including American troops stationed across the map. The Commander-inChief’s trophy, given to the winner of each season’s series among the football teams from Army, Navy and Air Force, is always a fiercely contested point of pride.

So yes, Carothers and his teammates will certainly have their battle. Which is exactly how both Navy and Army want it.

“This game is very emotional,” says Elijah Riley, a senior captain and defensive back for Army. “It doesn’t matter who’s having a bad or good season. It’s always going to be a very hard-fought game.”

Indeed, because as any military academy graduate can tell you, the Army-Navy game is about so much more than just a pigskin and some uprights. It’s a visual representation of the military’s deepest-held philosophies and values — a veritable four-hour drama of everything the nation’s men and women of the Armed Forces stand for.

“We don’t just represent ourselves; we represent the Navy as a whole,” says senior center and captain Ford Higgins. “We’re the United States military. We’re the top fighting force in all the world, and that’s how we act when we go on the field. We come out with same attitude that we need to attack this every single day, much like our friends do out in the fleet.”

Of course, there are some finer points to perfect. Riley, for example, says that Army has been focusing on “taking care of the little things on

U.S. Naval Academy and United States Military Academy football players prepare for the snap at the 2018 Army-Navy football game. Photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Sarah Villegas.

and off the field,” especially in areas like getting off blocks and tackles quickly.

“That’s plagued us early on, so every day we’ve been getting the little fundamentals right [in practice] so that they’re second nature,” says the Long Island native. “We’re working on keeping that energy high, staying passionate and getting the little things right.”

Christiansen, his teammate and an engineering management major, agrees. “We have to be the tougher football team, not flinching no matter what happens,” he says, his calm words coated in West Point training. “You want to stay consistent and clear-eyed for the objectives at hand.”

Held for the 89th time in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Lincoln Financial Field will host once again in 2019, the fourth “City of Brotherly Love” location to do so. Just four miles away from the stadium stands the home of Tadeusz Kościuszko, West Point’s principal designer.

There it is again: history and connection to those who came before them, a unifying theme for the teams’ captains.

“All of us are extremely blessed to have this platform to represent the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps in the best way possible,” says Higgins, a Georgia son. “At the end of the day, we’re all part of one team, and all of us are excited to join that team one day.”

That day is coming within the next year for the graduating seniors — a fact making this year’s contest all the more meaningful to players, coaches and fans.

“These are our brothers, and [the ArmyNavy game] is our baby, so to speak,” says Naval Academy’s Carothers.

“We’re important to each other.”

“I love what our superintendent [Vice Adm. Sean Buck] has told us: we don’t play for second place,” he says. “We’ve taken that approach to

the Army game, because people are relying on us to always get first.”

In football and in life — making this one rare instance where both sides rise victorious.

mi s sion of s e rving our nation by honoring our de f enders, W h ether building specially adapted smart homes for wounded families, l i f ting spirits at home and abroad wit h a live concert put on by Gary S inise and the Lt. Dan B and, or brin g in g WW I I veteran s to the National WWII Museum in New Or l eans, the Gary Sinise F o undati o n serves America’s h eroes and their loved ones with a host o f year-round programming .

What do employers really think of military spouses?

By Rebecca Alwine

When it comes to looking for a job or starting a career, there are many theories on the best way to approach a new company. For some, highlighting your military spouse status is frowned upon, but for others, it’s the best way to get your resume before a potential employer. Hiring managers, too, have differing ideas on this topic along with varying levels of familiarity with military spouses. In every situation, there are pros and cons to divulging your military spouse status during the job hunt.

Some seek military spouses

Some companies seek out this demographic, and advocates of military spouse employment urge all spouses to start with companies who have a reputation of being military friendly.

Martin Aragona, Jr, and his wife, Lori, own several businesses in Jacksonville, North Carolina, an area heavily populated by military spouses and veterans because of its proximity to Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune and surrounding bases. The Aragonas own Marlo Construction, Inc. and Biagio’s, a restaurant and coffee shop in the downtown area.

Aragona has learned to identify military spouse job seekers by their resumes because of the frequent moves and out-of-state addresses listed. Knowing they are often hesitant to reveal their status, Aragona encourages it.

“We feel like military members and their spouses are assets to our community and to our businesses. So, for us, it would be a benefit to disclose their status as a military family,” he said.

He also acknowledges that while he is open to hiring military spouses, not everyone feels that way.

“Some businesses may give pause, in hiring military spouses, out of fear of a quick move out of town,” Aragona said. And that’s a legitimate concern.

But the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported last year that Americans held an average of 7.8 jobs by the time they turned 30. If military spouses move and change jobs every three years — and the average age of a military spouse is 31.5, according to the 2015 Department of Defense Demographics — then they would change jobs less than the average American.

Overall, it comes down to communication, Aragona says.

“However, if both the business and the spouse are open and upfront, usually, a mutually-beneficial arrangement can be found,” he explained.

Not everyone knows what military spouses have to offer

On the flip side of the discussion are hiring managers who don’t have any military background or experience. They see resumes with multiple career fields, frequent moves and gaps, but do not understand the value a military spouse can bring to the table. And while they cannot legally discriminate against a marital status, military spouses all over the world have experienced this.

As a veteran and federal employee, Brandon Stackpole thinks that military spouses should reveal their “status” on their resume. He believes this because it helps to explain the constant moving around, which would otherwise be a red flag on a resume. Stackpole is a supervisory IT specialist who works on Fort Gordon, Georgia, and frequently sits on hiring panels.

When asked about the hesitation hiring managers may have regarding military spouses, Stackpole answered honestly, “Yes, hiring managers often do, even if “unofficially.” And whether agreed with or not, their hesitation is not completely unfounded. Employers think about money and longevity, and military spouses cannot always offer longterm solutions. That doesn’t mean they should be discounted as a great asset for a few years, but there is still quite a way to go to educate and explain this to all employers.

It’s important to note that military spouses are not a federally-protected class. There is nothing that makes not hiring a military spouse illegal and discriminating against someone because of their marital status is not a requirement in every state.

Military spouses are sought after

“I have absolutely hired people because they are a military spouse and bring a different perspective and amazing worldliness to a company,” Jennifer Blackwood, former director of early learning centers in both Maryland and Virginia, explained. “Most military spouses that I have met have a unique ability to make friends anywhere they go, have an incredible work ethic, are versatile and adaptable, and have a desire to support and nurture the people around them. Who wouldn’t want

to hire a person with all of these underlying qualities?”

Blackwood, a former military spouse, has also seen a bias toward military spouses.

“There are definitely hiring managers who hesitate when hiring military spouses. Depending on the job, consistency and longevity are very important and being aware that one will have to hire a replacement in two years can be very unsettling,” she said.

Military spouses know and accept these facts, but they want a chance to prove themselves.

“Depending on the company and type of job, it might take four months to complete the interview process from start to finish and then another two months training someone. Investing in someone who is not going to be around long term can be a difficult thing to overlook,” she added.

Overall, employers want to be able to trust their employees. They want to receive resumes that are a true representation of the applicant and they want to hire quality employees. If you are a military spouse, you don’t have to tattoo it on your forehead, but you also should never feel forced to lie about it. Some of the recommended solutions are to use your cover letter as an opportunity to explain any breaks in employment on your resume and research companies actively recruiting for military spouses. The Military Spouse Employment Partnership is a great starting point as it lists more than 390 companies that fit that description.

Visit https://msepjobs. militaryonesource.mil/msep to view the companies that pledge to hire military spouses.

OPERATION HEAL OUR PATRIOTS

By Tiffany Lawrence

Remember ★ Honor ★ Teach

Since 1981 the White House Historical Association has released a new Official White House Christmas Ornament for the holiday season. It sequentially recognizes our nation’s presidents and tells a historic story of their presidential term. This year’s product has a military presence and is intended to show respect and appreciation for veterans and those who serve.

A YEAR LONG MISSION.

Each December, our mission to Remember, Honor and Teach, is carried out by coordinating wreath-laying ceremonies at Arlington National Cemetery, as well as more than 1,600 participating locations in all 50 states and abroad. It is never too soon to get involved. Volunteers and wreath sponsorships are needed each year to reach the goal of honoring and remembering as many veteran’s as possible in cemeteries across the country. Wreaths Across America receives no government funding.

To register yourself or your company to volunteer, or to sponsor wreaths, visit www.wreathsacrossamerica.org

The ornament is an intricatelycrafted helicopter to represent the VCH-34 Army helicopter and HMX1 Marine helicopter, which are the two executive flight helicopters that President Eisenhower used regularly. Although he served as a five-star general in the United States Army, he chose to use both helicopters so as not to show preference between branches.

Onlookers don’t usually give much thought when the president takes off and lands on the south lawn of the White House, but the 34th President of the United States was the first to brave this feat. The 2019 ornament, in his honor, acknowledges his innovation and the fact that he started this tradition.

Through Operation Heal Our Patriots®, Samaritan’s Purse provides combat-wounded veterans and their spouses with a week of Biblically based marriage enrichment classes as well as ongoing chaplain care. This is just one way we’re helping to meet the physical and spiritual needs of hurting people across the globe in Jesus’ Name.

Franklin Graham, President | samaritanspurse.org | © 2019 Samaritan’s Purse.

Stewart McLaurin, president of the Association since 2014 says, “Until we started working on this ornament I didn’t know that Eisenhower was the first to take off and land on the south lawn. It’s a great reminder of his presidency and those who serve our country. It’s very patriotic but also a historic tribute.”

Opening each ornament is like unraveling a gift loaded with valuable traces of history. The box includes a booklet detailing the moments of Eisenhower’s term that impacted the country, along with rarely known facts about his life. There are also photos of the president landing on the south lawn and landing on board the USS Des Moines in 1959.

In recent months, the Association has held military events to highlight Eisenhower’s ornament. In September, city officials and members of Congress gathered at Fort Rucker, Alabama, where Eisenhower’s Army helicopter is held. The October event was held in Quantico, Virginia, home of HMX-1.

Because of the particular connection the 2019 ornament has to the military, the Association has its first ornament corporate sponsor in Lockheed Martin. Sikorsky, a Lockheed Martin Company, has made the presidential helicopter since 1957, making it a natural partnership with Lockheed Martin, its parent company.

“It’s nice to have their support and affirmation,” McLaurin acknowledges.

For many Americans, acquiring the ornament has become a holiday tradition.

“There’s a national following of people who collect them and give them as gifts. I’ve learned from my own experience that once you start giving them, people expect to receive the next one the next year. Some people

will get one from the year of their friend’s birth as a gift. We continue to make them so if you come into our shop or go to our website you can buy ornaments all the way back to 1981,” McLaurin said.

To add this patriotic reminder to your tree or to start a collection, visit https://www.whitehousehistory.org/2019.

Green Beret receives

MEDAL OF HONOR

President Donald Trump presented the Medal of Honor in October to U.S. Army Master Sgt. Matthew Williams for actions on April 6, 2008 that saved the lives of his fellow soldiers.

Then-Sgt. Williams was serving as a weapons sergeant in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. His complete disregard for his own safety, and concern for the safety of his teammates, ensured the survival of four critically-wounded soldiers and prevented the lead element of the assault force from being overrun by the enemy, according to Lt. Col. Loren Bymer, US Army Special Operations Command spokesman.

The Texas-native graduated from Angelo State University with a

Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice, and then enlisted into the Army under the 18X Special Forces enlistment program in September 2005. Throughout his career, Williams deployed multiple times in support of Operations Enduring Freedom and Juniper Shield, serving in numerous positions.

His awards and decorations include the Silver Star, Bronze Star Medal with two Bronze Oak Leaf Clusters, Meritorious Service Medal, Army Commendation

Medal with two Bronze Oak Leaf Clusters, Army Achievement Medal, Army Good Conduct Medal with Bronze Clasp and four Loops, National Defense Service Medal, Afghanistan Campaign Medal with three Bronze Service Stars, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal, Noncommissioned Officer Professional Development Ribbon with Numeral “4,” Army Service Ribbon, Overseas Service Ribbon with Numeral “3”, Valorous Unit Award, Combat Infantryman Badge, Parachutist Badge, and Special Forces Tab.

Williams pictured with his wife, Kate. Photo courtesy of U.S. Army Special Operations Command.

President Donald J. Trump presents the Medal of Honor to U.S. Army Master Sgt. Matthew O. Williams Wednesday, Oct. 30, 2019, in the East Room of the White House.

Photo by Amy Rossetti.