FR
EE www.allabroad.es
October 2013 issue number 27
advice, features, quizzes, puzzles, crosswords, markets, fiestas, what’s on + more!
This issue:
The Top 50 bestest ever JOKES EVER! Learning the
LINGO!!! Sue Sharpe More expat experiences!
PROPERTY ADVICE
Your health
with Sharon hulbert
DINNER IN THE DARK!! for the locals...by the locals..!
Abrimos todos los dias a partir de 18.ooh & los Sabados y Domingos tambien a medio dia We are open every day from 6.00pm and from 12.00pm at weekends
@pizzeriacocoa /pizzeriacocoa
Central Bar The
New IMPROVED menu! QUIZ NIGHT
Plaza De La Villa 32, Hondon De Las Nieves Tel. 96 548 0681 Also after the success of our GUEST CHEF in September we are planing another night for November!!
SUNDAY LUNCH
Served 12pm-3pm bookings ONLY
Now playing!
EVERY THURSDAY 8PM
HOMEMADE Burgers FISH & CHIPS
Friday 6.30 - 9.00pm
2 NEW Poker tables!
POKER NIGHTS!
U & DA ILY BLA CKLUNCHT IME SPE CIALS ARE BA CK. Full me nu & Ea rly bird menu Availab le Mond ay Tues day Wednes day & T hursday s 6.30 - 8 .30pm
BOARD
COMBO Platters & more!
SKY TV
LIVE football
in HD
NOW SHOWING!
BAR OPEN 7 days a week 10am till LATE! Kitchen FULL Menu available 11-3pm & 6-9pm every day (closed Sunday evenings)
Thursday 31st October
NEIL & LUCY PRESENT FRIGHT NIGHT
OOK!! FromLO ctober 8 FULL ME th N
Halloween Fun & games, scary disco, prize for best costume. Supper available. Everyone welcome.
T HT IGH NIG EN CE AC RA YR ITY C RIT AR HA CH OCTOBER SATURDAY 26TH
In aid of HOVAR (hondon valley animal rescue) tickets available In the bar or HOVAR charity shop
Skyefotos
YOU GUYS...! One thing that happens when you edit an expat magazine and have a radio show is that you get to meet some very interesting people. Whether that is exRadio Caroline DJ and sixties pop star Tony Moore – who I’ve worked with until recently. Or Stevie Spit star of the stage and last month and compere to stars from the UK at a charity performance at the Benidorm Palace. And that was just two of the people I met last month. That’s not including the larger than life
Real Radio International Weekly Lineup Listen online - www.realradiointernational.com Monday –Friday
08:00hrs -11:00 hrs
Dave Rave, AKA Huggy Bear, Fatman and other pseudonyms that can’t be men-
The Breakfast Show with Dave Bull
tioned in a family magazine. Then there’s Cathy Reynolds. Agony aunt in this
Monday Tuesday 11:00hrs – 14:00hrs
very magazine and certifiable in some minds (not mine...I’m scared of her...). Find her at her Curiosity Corner shop in Benijofar and be prepared; she will not disappoint you.
A Girl Called Soo Wed, Thurs & Friday 11-.00hrs - 14.00hrs Tony Capaldi
Steve at Howells Removals in Formentera is another who should go on the list as ‘interesting’ as he and his lovely wife Anne will insist on me joining them for a proper lunch of bacon sarnies and tea at their depot (if I time it right...). And I think Twink, of Gran Alacant, deserves a mention at this point if only for his Wurzles impression on the karaoke which needs to be seen and heard to be fully appreciated. Some of the pictures posted by some of my listeners are also a sign that readers and listeners are possibly getting too much sun and too much refreshment too! But keep them coming and we’ll start publishing the best (and worst) among them... Looking ahead and we have plans to travel once again and have plans to travel once again and explore this fabulous peninsula while at the same time capturing some images and experiences that may make you want to follow in our foot-
Tuesday –Friday
14:00hrs – 17:00hrs
The other side of the sheriff (Monday Captain Rai 14.00-17.00) Saturdays 10:00 hrs -13:00hrs The manic breakfast in bed with the sheriff 13:00hrs – 16:00hrs Weekend @ Bernies Part One 19:00hrs Saving The Seventies With Mike Walker
steps. I am making plans to have a stroll along the Camino de St James very soon – and that’s one that I can’t wait for but in the meantime I’ll be getting on my bike/train/bus and hitting the road, All Abroad style of course!
Sundays 10:00hrs – 13:00hrs
In this month’s issue we explore again with Sue Sharpe and she tells us of her
Weekend @ Bernies Part two
experiences in learning the lingo and Simone Segal joins us for some positive
19:00hrs
thinking. Ken from Gran Alacant had a fun night – eating blindfolded – and we’ve
Captain Rai’s Country Rodeo
managed to find (what is claimed as) The Top %) Jokes of all Time. We’ll see. (Maybe you’ve got a better one..?) Send the in to ask@allabroad.es and we’ll print the funny one. ;)
www.realradiointernational.com
ABOGADOS · BARRISTERS SOLICITORS · TAX ADVISORS Any legal problems?
965 480 737 / 606 056 282 info@pellicerheredia.com
contact us on: 96 669 5160 - 606 540 408 - ask@allabroad.es
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4
QUALIFIED GESTORA
Est. 1991
Fiscal help... VERSTEUERUNG VON MIETEINKOMMEN FÜR NICHTRESIDENTEN Es wird häufig angenommen, die jährliche Einkommensteuer für Nichtresidenten würde auf ein geschätztes Einkommen von Mieteinnahmen gezahlt werden. Dies ist nicht korrekt. Obwohl die Bezeichnung “Einkommenssteuer” zugegebenermaßen Anlaß zu Mißverständnissen gibt, ist diese Steuer nur eine nominale Steuer, die auf den Katasterwert der Immobilie berechnet wird. Sie befreit keinesfalls von der Verpflichtung, Einnahmen durch die Vermietung der Immobilie zu versteuern. Die spanische Regierung hat Pläne zur Regulierung des Ferienvermietungen vorgelegt. Daher beginnen die Steuerbehörden nun verstärkt, nicht versteuertes Einkommen aus solchen Quellen aufzuspüren. Und hierzu bedienen sie sich der Informationen über Wasser- und Stromverbrauch der Immobilie. Regelmäßiger Verbrauch von Strom und Wasserr in einer Immobilie, deren Besitzer Nichtresident ist, kann dann Anlaß zu einer Untersuchung seitens des Finanzamts geben. Nichtresidenten, die ihre Immobilie entgeltlich vermieten, sind verpflichtet, dieses Einkommen vierteljährlich in separater Steuererklärung zu versteuern. Die erstgenannte “Einkommensteuer für Nichtresidenten” ist weiterhin zahlbar und bleibt davon unbetroffen. Selbstverständlich reden wir hier nicht von der unentgeltlichen Überlassung der Immobilie an Verwandte. Sollten Sie diese Mieteinkünfte bereits in Deutschland versteuert haben, wird diese erfolgte Zahlung aufgrund des Doppelbesteuerungsabkommens von den in Spanien zu zahlenden Steuern abgezogen. Residenten versteuern Mieteinnahmen in ihrer normalen jährlichen Einkommenssteuererklärung, im Mai/ Juni des Folgejahrs. Sowohl Residenten als auch Nichtresidenten können jedoch eine Reihe von Kosten absetzen. Wasser und Strom für die Zeit der Vermietung, Müllabfuhr, Versichung und Gemeinschaftskosten, usw. Oben genannte Informationen basieren auf Angaben des Finanzamts zum Zeitpunkt der Veröffentlichung und sind nur zu Informationszwecken. Für weitere Informationen oder einen Termin kontaktieren Sie uns telefonisch 96 6697824 oder unter office@andreaburns. es. Web: www.andreaburns.es
Spanische Testamente
(auch BERLINER Testament)
Erbschaften/Nachlässe in Spanien Steuervertretung Nichtresidenten-Steuern Gewinnsteuer Vollmachten Notarielle Urkunden Immobilienübertragungen Übersetzungen
NON RESIDENT TAX VERSUS NON RESIDENT CERTIFICATE “But I am sure I pay the the non residents’ tax. The bank charges me for it!” Many times I have come across this statement by clients. This is not so and the confusion clearly arises due to the similarity between the two different concepts. By law, banks are obliged to ascertain the status of their clients -either resident or non-resident- regularly and pass this information on to the tax office. Most banks will do this on an annual basis, some every two years. For this, the bank usually sends a form to the account holder ’s home address. In the cover letter the bank informs about the laws and regulations with regards to this procedure and requests the recipient to verify their status (either non resident or resident) and return the signed form to the bank. Replies by clients are not guaranteed and if the bank has not been informed to the contrary by the account holder they will simply verify to the tax authorities that the current status has not changed. The bank then charges for this service by debiting your account for a “non residents’ certificate”. This charge has given rise to a lot of misconception by the sheer wording of it and since it is usually charged on an annual basis it has been confused with the annual taxes to be paid by the non residents. The annual non residents taxes will not just be debited to your account. A fiscal representative will prepare these taxes based on the relevant data of your property that the property owner has to supply.
For more information or an appointment please contact us on 96 6697824 or office@andreaburns.es. Web: www.andreaburns.es
Spanish Probate / Inheritances Spanish Wills Fiscal Representation Non-residents’ Tax Capital Gains Tax Power of Attorney Notarial Deeds Property Conveyancing * Translations
Avenida América, 32, GRAN ALACANT 96 669 7824 OFFICE@ANDREABURNS.ES
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5
LA
A submariner's thoughts
MAR Joaquín Ñeco Castaño
Los marinos decimos la mar y no el
ante su fuerza y violencia, nos recu-
to a millones de seres de muchísimos
mar, porque la consideramos como
erda aquellos refranes tan marineros
países de nuestra maltratada Tierra.
una amante de la que estamos enamo-
de “Quién navega en tiempo fuerte,
La mar, en fin, ha sido y sigue siendo
rados, que nos da buenos momentos,
dos dedos va de la muerte”; o el que
una vía de comunicación y transporte
algunas veces, y otras nos muestra su
asegura “Ola en contra, marinero a la
que ha hecho, sobre todo en épocas
cara más dura y amarga, pero a la que
batayola”; o ese otro que afirma “Cuí-
pasadas, que los hombres tuviesen
no podemos dejar de querer por mucho
date del perro que no ladra y de la mar
contactos personales y comerciales.
daño que nos haga.
en calma” y por último el que asevera
Durante toda mi vida profesional, he
En la mar, el espíritu se eleva en medio
“San Telmo en la arboladura, el buen
pasado muchas horas en medio de la
de su inmensidad y nos hace estar más
tiempo poco dura”. Y en esos momen-
mar y todas y cada una de las sensa-
cerca de Dios.
tos, sólo nos queda decir aquel otro de
ciones que he descrito, las he sentido
La mar ha sido, y continuará siendo, el
que: “Quién va por la mar, aprende a
y aun hoy, siento la necesidad de estar
lugar en donde reposan tantos y tantos
rezar”.
en contacto con esta amante, viéndola
que la amaron y a los que ella no les
La mar, ha sido el camino por donde
desde tierra o permaneciendo aunque
correspondió
han llegado civilizaciones importantes
sea unas pocas horas navegando en
En la mar, se siente uno más libre en
como la helenística, la cartaginesa o la
ella. Y mientras me quede un hálito
medio de su grandeza y muchas perso-
arábiga
de vida pensaré que no he estado más
nas en todas las épocas, tanto pasadas
acervo autóctono.
próximo a la verdad que cuando he es-
como presentes, sólo se han sentido
La mar, ha sido el camino por el que
tado cerca de esta amante: la mar.
así cuando han surcado sus caminos.
se han llevado a cabo grandes hazañas
La mar, origen de toda la vida que ayer
No he visto nada más bello, en toda mi
y descubrimientos que han engrande-
existió y de la que hoy existe. Quizás
vida, que un amanecer o atardecer en
cido a la humanidad.
por eso, la sentimos como algo nues-
la mar, cuando el Sol quiere asomar o
La mar ha sido, y puede que lo sea tam-
tro. Como si la lleváramos implantada
comienza a esconderse en el horizon-
bién en un futuro, el escenario épico de
dentro de nuestros genes, de la que
te y el cielo se tiñe de un rojo que va
grandes batallas en enfrentamientos
no podemos separarnos porque forma
cambiando de matices, a cada cual más
entre países o alianzas, en donde los
parte de nosotros mismos. Y aún hoy, el
mágico. Y qué decir de esas noches en
participantes han dado lo mejor de sí
hombre, sigue surcándola, sigue persi-
calma y con un cielo limpio y estrella-
mismos, inmolando sus vidas siempre
guiendo la aventura, sigue utilizándola
do, con la Luna reflejándose sobre ella,
con honor y caballerosidad.
como vía de comunicación, sigue ex-
que invitan a la reflexión y a buscar en
La mar ha sido, y continúa siendo, el
plotando sus recursos, sigue gozándola
el interior de nuestra alma, las sen-
lugar donde los indeseables cometen
en sus ratos de ocio. En fin, seguimos
saciones, recuerdos y añoranzas más
tropelías asesinando y secuestrando a
amándola porque de ella procedemos y
íntimas. Pero también, cuando nos en-
los que navegan por ella pacíficamente.
de ella nos hemos servido y seguimos
seña su otra cara y quisiera, como una
La mar ha sido, es, y Dios quiera que
haciéndolo. Quiera Dios, que pese a las
fiera furiosa, quitarnos de en medio de
lo sea también en el futuro, la gran
agresiones que está sufriendo, perviva
un zarpazo y se nos encoge el corazón
despensa que
para nuestros descendientes.
6
que han enriquecido nuestro
proporciona el susten-
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1st lasting
Impression leaves a impression…
By Sharon Hulbert Real Estate Consultant
OMG its October! The holiday makers
for us. I am not being flippant when I say
look good in a glossy magazine? Blue sky is
have gone home, sat (probably in a dull
impress the agent, any good agent should
a must! If it’s a cloudy day send the agent
boring office) and thought about what
advise you how to present the property
away!
a lovely time they had in the sun and
but in my years of experience it is amazing
must be down! Sorry boys!
have now started to research proper-
how negative you can feel when you leave
If you already have your property on the
ties in Spain.
a property if you have not had a warm wel-
market and you have not been successful
So now is the time to make a great 1st
come or had to battle with the dog to get
have a real good think why it is not selling!
impression if you are thinking of sell-
through the door! And Negativity does not
Press the REFRESH button! Don’t let it go
ing our property
Oh and one last things…Loo seats
stale…and make sure the Price is Right! Over priced homes don’t appear well in the
If you want buyers to be interested in
eyes of the buyer they think the sellers are
your home don’t show your property until
greedy and are trying to get more money
you have put in an effort to present it in
from them than the house is worth.
its best light. Once you make the decision to sell a home, your personal tastes
Buyers are on the internet all the time re-
are no longer relevant believe me you
searching properties so they can check out
will suffer less if you can come to grips
what other similar properties are listed for
with the fact the home is emotionally no
or have sold for (more important than the
longer yours the moment you decide to
listed price). Serious buyers have a good
sell. From the moment you make that
idea of the value of homes and what they
decision, the property is no longer where
can get for their money and if yours is
you live. It is an asset to be sold for as
overpriced they won’t look!
much money as possible and as fast as
I am off now to start a day’s work…Selling
possible.
properties…Love it…In fact just a quickie before I go… I viewed a beautiful villa yes-
So before any agent comes to value the
sell!
property and start to market it you must:
terday with a bright blue kitchen, the client said to me when we got there “I have seen
CLEAN AND DECLUTTER. ..LIGHTEN AND
So I diverse a bit…Make sure your agent
this on the internet but I hated the colour of
BRIGHTEN…IF IT NEEDS FIXING, FIX IT!
takes some good photos, 90% of buyers
the kitchen so I dismissed it!” Guess what I
A great looking home that is priced accord-
look at properties they have found on the
am just waiting for the offer to be accepted!
ing to the current market value will appeal
internet so it is critical your home makes a
to a far greater number of potential buy-
strong first impression online. Most buyers
ers than a poorly maintained home that is
form an opinion about a home within the
priced well above what the current mar-
first 7 -10 seconds. I am receiving so many
ket stipulates. When it comes to attracting
enquiries at the moment based on clients
buyers to a property, first impressions and
looking on the internet and asking to view
looks do count.
based on the impression they have made! So a few tips…
You have to impress both the buyer and the agent! We all have a lasting impression of
When choosing an agent, look at their web-
our first impression of a property, so please
site and have a nose at the photos Do they
if you invite us to your home get it ready
pay attention to detail? Would the photos
Our own contributors - experienced for expat info
7
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DINNER IN THE
DARK
By Ken B.
Reader's report on Restaurant Sala Soundtrax - Gran Alacant
I’m not usually scared of the dark but
Pepe marched us of into hell’s kitchen I
what was about to happen to me at
found myself leading a blind conga!
the weekend was not natural and cer-
Once inside after manoeuvring around im-
tainly strange. The idea of eating a
aginary obstacles the whole mood changed
five course meal in total darkness was
from bravado and false confidence to turn
not only frightening it was sheer terror. Just ask my wife Debbie, I can’t hit my mouth in the light! The concept of being left to fend for yourself without one of your senses is
into abject fear having to rely totally on others actions and instructions. We were seated and everything changed. Firstly it seemed everyone had to shout even to the person next to you. This must be something to do with other senses
bad enough but to be in contact with
compensating for the lack of one of sight.
sharp instruments and crystal glass in
This is where our guides for the night ex-
the dark is insane.
celled. They were polite but firm in their instructions and professional in their work
I won’t go into details because I think a
in being the eyes of more than a dozen
lot of sceptics would just pooh-pooh the
helpless novices of not having all senses
idea but I was extremely impressed with
available.
the whole night. The staff...or the ones
The food and drinks were delivered at the
we saw, Pepe and Vincent were absolutely
table with whispered directions to where
professional in their delivery of our fate for
they were positioned. The music began
the evening and were our guide dogs once
and we were on our own. It was amazing
we entered the fearful world of darkness
to suddenly find what a gastronomic ex-
and the unknown.
pert and wine buff you become when you
We were met on the terrace along with
don’t have to look convincing. Needless to
about another dozen guinea pigs to be
say practical jokes were played with mov-
told what the experiment was to include.
ing and disappearing cutlery, imaginative
We were to be blindfolded, led to a table
people tapping end seat guests on their far
and given a five course feast accompa-
side and general good fun was had by all.
nied by drinks relevant to the food and
Finally after over an hour of hilarity and
serenaded with music for the same end
excellent food we were asked to remove
result of knowing what you’ve just eaten
our blindfolds and compare what and
and drank. As on an aeroplane the ritual
where we thought we were and the reality
of safety procedure was explained to eve-
of being in a well-furnished and lit restau-
ryone. This basically was to put your hand
rant and bar. We were then asked table by
up if you needed the toilet and you would
table to approach the bar where the full
be steered to the correct facility. On com-
menu of food and drink were to be seen...
pletion of your visit in which by the way
yes seen!
the blindfold was removed, you would be returned to your black hole to begin the
After coffee and discussions on who got
process of reorientation into this gour-
what right and wrong and checking table-
met guess game without anyone knowing
cloth and floor for traces of who missed
you’d been!
what, we left thanking our hosts for a truly
Once everyone was au fait with the im-
un-missable experience. Once in the “light
mediate fear of entering the world of touch
of the night” we adjourned for nightcap
Pepe told me to hold onto his shoulders
not telling Debbie her mascara was now
and everyone likewise hold the person in
on her cheeks like Chi Chi the panda.
front we donned our masks like space-
In all honesty if you want a different night
men about to step on the moon and took
out with a bunch of friends I cannot sug-
our first giant steps into the world of food
gest anything more fun.
and dark. I don’t dance normally but when
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9
There’s a ship lies rigged and ready in the harbour…
Tomorrow for old England she sails, Far away from your land of endless sunshine, To my land full of rainy skies and gales – The Last Farewell (Roger Whittaker)
Sue Sharpe ….watch the fishing boats leave the safety of the harbour for their maritime night-shift…..
Welcome to the third post in the series cataloguing my
and left us to make our choices. I opted for the pasta salad and
recent trip back to the UK.
the beef stew and Phil went for the mountain stew and fish of the day. We had a bottle of white wine and a bottle of still water to go
Okay – So strictly speaking ‘she’ hadn’t arrived in port - but she
with it. Whilst my salad came prepared on a plate, Phil’s stew was
was on her way – which left us plenty of time to go back into the
brought to him in a casserole dish with a ladle and he was allowed
city centre to get some lunch. Unlike many cities, Santander city
to take as much (or as little) as he chose. The second ‘courses’
centre does not have the likes of Starbucks, Costa Coffee, Burger
were served with chips (hurrah!). Phil did point out to me that I
King or McDonald’s (thankfully) although you can find the burger
had just eaten in one sitting, the amount of food that I would nor-
franchises in the centro comerciales (shopping Malls) on the out-
mally eat over the course of three days – and he was right – I was
skirts. There are, you’ll be very pleased to hear, plenty of bars and
well and truly stuffed, so we opted for coffee, rather than dessert.
restaurants offering a Menu Del Dia. What’s a Menu Del Dia? It’s a
Nothing beats a nice stroll to walk off lunch, so we ambled
very popular menu which is served at lunchtime in many Spanish
our way back to the car soaking up some very welcome spring
eating establishments. It is, essentially, a set menu – but unlike a
sunshine, pausing from time to time to have a look at in a shop
three course meal in the UK, which would comprise starter, main
window (Phil’s wallet was now safe as they were closed for lunch!)
and dessert courses – it offers two ‘main’ courses (each course is
or simply admire the buildings, some of which I found very inter-
made up of a choice of three to five dishes), a dessert, bread and
esting. We arrived back at the car with at least two hours to spare
a drink (usually wine, beer or water). The prices vary from region
before we would be allowed to board the ferry. I know that some
to region in Spain but I think it would be fair to say that anywhere
people would find the prospect of hanging around in a glorified
between €8 and €12 will get you something to satisfy you until
car park for the best part of three hours to be quite boring, but I
later in the day (some, more upmarket establishments, offer ‘ex-
actually like it. Why? Because there are lots of other passengers
ecutive’ varieties for a few euros more).
waiting to do the same and I enjoy having a chat with some of them; about where they are from (Spain/UK)? How their jour-
We found a little place, just away from the main shopping area,
ney has been? If they are going, or coming, home? – You get the
a couple of years ago called Casa Mariano on Calle de Vargas and
picture! There are also all manner of motor homes and caravans
after taking a quick look at what some of the other bars had to
that carry the intrepid expat fraternity who like to explore Europe
offer decided to eat there again. Casa Mariano is narrow, the bar
with the freedom of knowing that a cup of tea is close at hand, no
and food servery takes up the entire length of the right hand side
matter where they are!
(as you enter) with tables with bench seats to the right. The waitress gave us a copy of the menu, took our drinks orders
10
Eventually people started to gather on the quayside to see if they
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10
There’s a ship lies rigged and ready in the harbour… could spot the ferry approaching and, until
yardarm (literally) so we headed to
it appeared, watch the fishing boats leave
the piano bar to have a wee drink
the safety of the harbour for their maritime
to settle us in. On other trips there has been
night-shift or take in the stunning back-
a pianist in the piano bar but, for reasons
drop of the distant mountains. Finally, the
unknown, the pianist has been replaced by
Pont Aven came into view and those of us
technology. A nice stewardess came and
who had gathered watched it approach and
opened a box close to the piano and a couple
manoeuvre into position. Once docked, the
of seconds later the keys and pedals were
arriving vehicles soon started to disembark.
moving and real piano music was play-
This is the generally accepted signal for
ing – I have no idea what kind of software
everyone to return to their own vehicle and
runs something like that – but it was quite
await boarding instructions.
impressive, if not a little confusing for those
Pont Aven
who were not seated as close as we were The boarding procedure is very simple: Wait
and who kept looking for the pianist. The
in your car until you are told to proceed, fol-
only problem I had was at the end of each
low the directions given. You will be asked to
song – do I applaud or not? – ‘Not’ seemed
show your passport at Passport Control and
to be the best solution! There were many
it is here that our vehicle may be examined
options available to us for dining and
by Customs (but highly unlikely!) Once you
entertainment but I was still stuffed from
have driven onto the ferry, follow the direc-
the large lunch so after a couple of gin &
tions of the staff who will guide you to your
tonics we left Sparky, The Magic Piano, to
parking space (NB – They do this every day
his evening audience (the programme was
and know exactly what they are doing).
on its second loop by this time) and retired
There will be a crew member nearby when
to our cabin where Phil finished off the last
you have parked who will give you a card
pasty and we bedded down for the night.
with the number of the deck level that you are on and the nearest door to enter the ship
IN THE NEXT INSTALMENT: A day at sea
(eg:6E). At this point you should make sure
and arriving in Portsmouth
……take in the stunning backdrop of the distant mountains…..
Sparky, The Magic Piano
that your handbrake is on and that your car alarm is turned off (the movement of the
Disclaimer: The content of this blog are the
ship may set it off which is annoying and no-
views and observations of the writer and
one is allowed access to the car decks during
may differ from those of the reader. The
the voyage so your car and its contents are
writer of this blog is not a travel writer and
safe). Take with you everything that you will
does not pretend to be one. If you find any
need for the voyage – overnight bag, books
of the content to be wrong or inaccurate
and (in our case) the cool-box with our re-
please advise the writer by posting in the
maining food. Finding your cabin is relatively
comment section, but remember to be nice!
easy but if you have any difficulty there are
The writer takes no responsibility for your
stewards on hand to give you assistance and
lack of sense of humour.
….hanging around in a glorified car park ……
direction. We had decided to upgrade from our usual inside berth to an outside one –
About the author - Sue Sharpe lives in the
which meant that we had a window/porthole
wilds of Extremadura which – let’s face
– although that was the only difference. It
it - is probably the best place for her. She
had a single bunk, (the second one drops
(and her partner) grow their own food; keep
from the ceiling!!), a table & chair and an en-
chickens and other sorts of hippy stuff. She
suite bathroom with shower (with toiletries
is occasionally allowed out in public to write
provided). Once settled we went to explore
for travel guides and maintains her own
the ship. It had been a couple of years since
blog about her life & experiences at www.
we last sailed on the Pont Aven and we
hiddenspain.info/wordpress. Should you ever
wanted to orientate ourselves.
encounter her while she is on assignment, approach with caution and preferably with a
By now the sun was quite a way over the
gin & tonic or chocolate! Menu Del Dia.
13
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Be Original - ALL ABROAD! -TEL. 606ME540 NU DE408 L DIA Eve
It’s hard to get by just upon a
Learning the lingo... by Sue Sharpe
smile……
Actually, Cat Stevens – or whatever you’re calling
to speak with the people who were being so kind and friendly to
yourself these days - it isn’t that hard, and I’m living
the foreign, grinning idiot.
proof! It’s true that a smile won’t pay the bills, or put food on the table, but it does help you to get by
Phil had pointed out to me that I was a great mimic (that’s a
when it comes to day to day activities in a country
whole other story, trust me!) and suggested that I watch a tele-
where the language spoken is not your default one.
novela (soap opera) or two to help pick up the day to day phrases
It’s not that I hadn’t learnt any Spanish before we moved here. I had spent a couple of years at night-school trying to get to grips with it. The problem with learning a language by this method is that although the courses are cheap, the enthusiastic body count at the start of each
that people use. Good advice. I started watching’ Destilando Amor!’ (Literally – distilling love) a really, and I mean really, crap Mexican Soap opera about unrequited love centred around a tequila distillery. Actually, it was so bad it was brilliant, I’ve seen heard of pornos with better plots. It was, however, very repetitive which is great
term dwindles dramatically once the major-
when you’re trying to understand it. Oh
ity of ‘students’ have learnt enough of the
and there’s a lot of stern looks and
lingo to see them through their six week
dramatic music too!
stay at their holiday home in Mallorca! I also realised within days of moving
The other series we both started
here that there is a huge difference be-
watching were American dramas, the
tween what I was taught and how the
likes of CSI, Criminal Minds and, my
locals actually communicate. Panic and
personal favourite, House (I was later
self-doubt attacked me with a classic pin-
to realise that Hugh Laurie spoke with
cer manoeuvre and I was so scared of of-
an American accent in this series and
fending someone by saying the wrong thing that I decided just to keep quiet and observe.
A smile, in fact, can get you quite a long way in a small community. I would go into the village to do the shopping with a spring in my step and a beaming smile, bidding everyone I came across a hearty ‘buenos dias’ which was always well received. The ‘International language of Pointing at Things’ also served me well during that time. The only mistake I made was trying to use my Spanish – if I got it right, it was assumed I was fluent and, therefore, was on the
“Ole”
receiving end of colloquial gibberish that was, to me, totally
?
incomprehensible. Many a time I would return home in tears through the utter
actually thought his character sounded a little sexier in Spanish). This was a very effective way of bettering my Spanish because I was familiar with the synopses of these programmes and so could work out a lot of the vocabulary being used by contextual deduction. I also know a helluva lot more about crimes scenes, criminal profiling and lupus now too!
The result is that I can now communicate with my friends in the village with confidence and if I occasionally suffer a vocabulary or verb tense failure, I can at least talk my way out if it without causing offence. They too have helped me tremendously with their patience and understanding. I still smile a lot when I’m in the village but now it’s because I’m so happy to be part of it and no longer the grinning foreign idiot!
frustration of not being able
15
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Benijofar Tel. 622 899 906
? AUNTY
Ask
?
CATHY (if you dare..!)
?
Dear Cathy My cat loves playing in next doors garden and sometimes uses it as her toilet, the neighbours have started throwing the cat poo into my garden should I complain???? Mona San Miguel Dear Mona How rude of your neighbours, your cat leaves them gifts and they throw it back, But don’t worry in certain parts of the world this is for good luck so if I where you I would check your Lottery tickets and Thank your Neighbour..... Dear Cathy I am 42 and have never been on a date with a woman. I feel life is passing me by and I should be experiencing these simple pleasures in life. Regards Freddie Gran Alacant Dear Frankie I have been waiting for your letter as your husband Tom wrote to me about your concerns some time ago...he told me that he may have the perfect answer. There are some new people in your area called the Longing Sisters, the eldest called Ayma Longing has put an ad in my Magazine looking for new (playmates) mates to go out with....You can contact Sheeza Longing on 768 879 232....Let me know how it goes.. Cathy
Cathy´s Curiosity Corner “The Best Thing Since
Sliced Bread!"
From the moment you walk in the door and a duck quacks at you, from somewhere, you know that this will not be an ordinary shopping experience. However, one thing that is certainly guaranteed at this place is that you will leave with a smile - whether you found something you really like or just from meeting Cathy. If you like to shop with a smile on your face I know of just the place, down in Benijofar. A smile, a giggle and a hearty welcome - that’s without mentioning the incredible amount of ‘different stuff’ to be found here at Cathy’s Curiosity Corner. Cathy´s Curiosity Corner in Benijofar really is just different. Take a wander around and you´ll be met by the amazing figure of Cathy who will welcome you as warmly as she does everyone and everyone who shops here is now her friend - just pay the shop and visit and I will bet you now that you come back as with a new friend in Cathy.
Dear Cathy My sister Ayma and I Sheeza Longing are New to this part of Spain and would like to know where we go to meet new People. We are both interested in the Outdoors and Love Dancing, Massage and Chemistry, we also have experience in Traffic Control as we both used to work on the Roundabout, keeping them up to Scratch....Do you have any suggestions as to where we could go. Sheeza Benijofar Dear Sheeza You have certainly got many skills that a lot of my readers are looking for... Both Male and Female readers seem to have the same interests as yourself and Ayema. Maybe you could start a group or Club for all these like-minded people and call it something like...The Magic Roundabout Club, I feel you will do very well if you follow my advice. Let me know how it goes and I can certainly put a LOT of Interested people your way... Cathy...
Prices are kept realistic as Cathy says she likes the shop to be an ever-changing oasis in the heart of the Spanish village of Benijofar, and it is just that. Whether I call in daily or weekly the stock at the Curiosity Shop is always changing and there´s always plenty of new and interesting pieces to mull over while you enjoy a coffee.
If you haven´t been to this place yet, don´t miss out on what really is the best shop I’ve seen in years!
OUR STOCK CHANGES DAILY!
Our own contributors - experienced for expat info
17
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Many people are unable to think beyond
NPK – Nitrogen, Phosphorus and Potas-
nutrients effectively. As important as
vitamins and minerals when supplements
sium, and although requiring only these
supplements are for your health, it is also
are mentioned. They never come across
to thrive, plants have evolved to concen-
important to understand that they are not
the many published scientific papers
trate other minerals for the benefit of the
all created equal. Supplements are graded
highlighting the healing powers of natu-
animals that feed on them. 50 years ago
under 3 categories. The best of these are
ral supplements. And these supplements
potatoes were a good source of vitamin
known as pharmaceutical grade supple-
are nothing more than naturally occurring
A, and today potatoes contain virtually no
ments. These supplements are of the high-
chemicals found in the body. Your body
Vitamin A.
est purity and quality, and their manufac-
is composed of several thousand of these
ture is regulated by the government. One
chemicals and today scientists have a more
Another reason for considering supple-
of the best supplement companies known
in-depth knowledge of their role in main-
ments is that many people eat processed
today is Douglas Laboratory.
taining health. This explosion in nutrition
foods, unfortunately a large amount of
research has led to the recognition of even
nutrients are lost when food is processed –
Medical grade supplements are in the
more nutrient classes such as antioxidants,
the reason why some manufacturers fortify
middle, and are prescribed in hospitals,
phytonutrients, flavonoids etc. Antioxidants
them with nutrients. Furthermore, as we
and then at the bottom are food grade
have become a buzz word in recent times,
age, our body becomes unable to produce
supplements. Food grade supplements are
and many have become aware of their role
adequate amounts of some of the most
what most people take as supplements.
in counteracting the deadly effects of toxic
essential nutrients it needs to function op-
They are the kind sold in pharmacies and
free radicals. Phytonutrients are a group of
timally. For example you may have heard
health shop and are of the lowest quality
nutrients found only in plants, hence the
of Co-enzyme Q 10 and how every cell in
because of the lax regulation around them.
name and now recognised as having pow-
your body needs it to produce energy, but
Food grade supplements cannot be used
erful healing effects against many diseas-
do you know that by age 50 your CoQ10
for therapeutic purposes, and as the name
es. Flavonoids have also gained importance
levels fall by half? And without energy,
suggests, can only be used to supplement
as a nutrient class, and are predominantly
your body slows down, and the ageing
food. Furthermore, manufacturers of food
found in red grapes – the reason why red
process accelerates. Your skin starts to
grade supplements are known to use the
wine is healthy.
wrinkle, and organs start to break-down.
inactive forms of nutrients perhaps due to
Furthermore, as we grow older the ab-
ignorance of the latest scientific research,
You may wonder why you need to take
sorption of nutrients from the digestive
or perhaps in a bid to save some mon-
supplements when you can get all your
tract also slows down. This is because our
ey, since most consumers are unable to
nutrients from food. Firstly, the food you
digestive system also doubles up as our
tell the difference anyway. For instance,
eat today is definitely not as nutritious as
detoxification system.
most vitamin E supplements contain the
20 or 30 years ago. And it was certainly a
synthetic form of vitamin E which is not
lot better 50 years ago. Recently, research-
The detox or detoxification system deals
as active as the natural form, and is now
ers from the University of Texas compared
with the poisons we unknowingly consume
known to cause some types of cancer.
the nutrients of 43 food crops, and found a
every day. The liver, gall bladder and the
Knowledge of supplements is also contin-
significant reduction in nutrient levels from
intestines all play a role in breaking down
ually evolving, and better products keep
1950 to 1999. A similar study published
these toxic substances as they enter the
coming into the market based on the latest
in the British Food Journal also found huge
body. These toxins can be in the form of
scientific research.
loses over the years of nutrients such as
the drugs we take or even certain foods we
Calcium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Zinc,
eat. Some of these toxins include mer-
You may know of CoQ10, but do you know
Vitamins A, B, C and E. Our modern day
cury, lead, cadmium, aluminium, pesti-
of its active form Ubiquinol? Or that in a
agricultural practice of continuous cropping
cides, insecticides, mycotoxins and many
few weeks’ time, something even better
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others. After a while, the digestive system
than Ubiquinol will become available? –
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Watch This Space! At MedB Diagnostics,
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The Central bar Hondon De Las Nieves We have a permanent charity tin at the bar for Sienna. She is the granddaughter of some friends of ours, & when she was a few months old
Simone Segal
They found out she has Hurlers syndrome. We do charity pool knockouts
I would like to tell you a secret,
change our health, our relationships, and
were the very words said by
our lives all for the better.
the great Earl Nightingale that
Can YOU do it? I’m here to tell YOU, YES
Myself & the staff & some regular
pricked my ears, listening to that
YOU CAN!
customers thought it might be a
How do I know, because anything I can do
good idea to get naked for a cal-
YOU can do better, ha, some of you might
endar, like the film, so eleven 50+
know that song! On a serious note, I have
ladies have done just that!
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Another two of our friends (shut-
TOO! Change your thoughts starting right
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now, it is all about choice and the choice
photographers back in England
audio totally changed my way of thinking. He was one of the many amazing
philosophers
that
in-
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How about saying, yes I can, to all the
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We Think About”.
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women in Japan 85+ diving for oysters
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Pleased to meet you All Abroaders!!!
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Email Simone at simmac@live.co.uk
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OFFICE: C/San Luis 2, 03187 Los Montesinos Alicante Tel. 966 720 959 Visit our website: www.easypost.es Email: alicantesouth@easypost.es
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ABOGADOS – SOLICITORS- BARRISTERS The European Succession will ADVOKATER - ASESORESRegulation TRIBUTARIOS
bring clarity to cross-border inheritances • överlåtelsehandlingar • Testament & arv • Lag tvister av alla slag • skatterådgivare & Bokföring • Fordon & körkorts registrering
This is the main conclusion of the experts, Lawyers in International Law, Mr. Pedro Heredia
Mr. Ignacio Pellicer Molla, a partner at the
Ortiz and Mr. Pellicer Ignacio Molla, from the
Pellicer&Heredia Abogados law firm, Lawyer spe-
PELLICER&HEREDIA ABOGADOS law firm on the
cialist on International Law, believes that this text
new EU cross-border succession framework.
will regulate the European successions, an issue with various legal and jurisdictional elements,
According to Mr. Pedro Heredia Ortiz, a Lawyer
in a “didactical” and above all “comprehensive”
specialising in international law, president of the
manner because it will determine, among other
International Law Section of the Bar Association
principles, jurisdiction, applicable law, mutual
of Alicante, and associate professor of the Master
recognition, implementation and the probative
in International Commerce (Alicante University)
nature of the decisions in the field of succession.
and Private International Law Department of the HAR DU JURIDISKA PROBLEM? Miguel Hernandez University of Elche, the reguVi talar och that latory engelska text of the newspanska European Regulation will come into force in August 2015, “must be laskandinaviska språk belled with revolutionary merit”.
Both of them agree that “the new regulation responds to the political objective of establishing a cooperation project” of the European Community in the dispersed and varied succession regulation of the States of the Union and a step forward in
Still, it will also leave issues undefined, such as
the area of Freedom, Security and Justice, in line
the margin left to the choice of the law of succes-
with the long-term mandates emanating from
sion, for which, firstly the role of Lawyers, and
Tampere, The Hague and Stockholm.”
then that of the European court will be essential. The significance of this regulation can be seen in Still, there are gaps or a lack of definition in the
various data: every year in the European Union
various and different family relationships, in a
450,000 inheritances are initiated between citi-
time like now in which gay marriages are com-
zens of different member countries, with a val-
mon, or issues such as children by surrogacy, as
ue in excess of €123 billion. Furthermore, eight
Mr. Pedro Heredia stressed. Likewise, it does not
million Europeans live outside their countries of
include the possible abuses that may be implied
origin and there are two and a half million prop-
by the multiple choice of laws and succession
erties that belong to people residing in States dif-
rules that the regulation allows.
ferent to where there assets are located.
Next to CAM Bank
26
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Oct 13 Fiestas
Fiestas de l’Altet, Elche October 4, Aplec de Sonadors, Mutxamel October 7, Virgen del Rosario, Rafal
of
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Hondon De Las Nieves
October 7, Día de la Comunidad Valenciana, Pilar de la Horadada
What are we up to?
October 9,
We have a permanent charity tin at
Moros y Cristianos, Callosa
daughter of some friends of ours, &
the bar for Sienna. She is the grand-
d’en Sarria
found out she has Hurlers syndrome.
Mare de Déu del Rosari, Guar-
We do charity pool knockouts raffles
October 10,
OCTOBER OFFERS! N! BREAD - PA
when she was a few months old they
October 10,
damar del Segura
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etc. and myself & the staff & some regular customers thought it might
From
be a good idea to get naked for a
Virgen del Remedio, San Fulgencio
calendar, like the film, so eleven 50+
0.60 cents
ladies have done just that! Another two of our friends (Shut-
October 10,
terbliss) are professional wedding
Virgen del Pilar, Benejúzar October 12,
photographers back in England & they came on a busman’s holiday as a favour to do the shoot for us.
Ntra. Sra. del Pilar, Los Montesinos
We had a ball, eleven naked ladies,
only 0.80 cents!
copious amounts of cava & wine +
October 12,
1proffesional photographer (a she by
Virgen del Pilar, Pilar de la
Something we probably will never do
MILK LECHE
the way, Ciara) at a secret location.
Horadada
UHT
again, (unless there is a big demand
Desnatada, Semi, Entera
for naked old ladies)
October 12, Fiestas Mayores, El Campello October 15,
What do we need? We are looking for sponsors €50.00
Mig Any, Onil
per month of the calendar.
October 20,
We need business logos for the ad-
Santísimo Cristo del Sudor, Calpe
verts, & all sponsors will be listed on the back as a directory The more sponsors, the more money
October 22,
for Sienna & The great Ormond street
Día de las Peñas, Benidorm
hospital
October 25,
Any printers or publishers want to get
Fira de Tibi
We are aiming to put them on sale at
involved?
RIOJA WINE - VINO Cuatro Castilles .75cl Bottle
the end of October
October 25,
only 3.49€
Thanks! Yvonne (Central Bar – see
Mercado Medieval, Callosa
advert)
d’en Sarria November 3,
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. . . h g u a l a g n i v ‘a 50 JOKES OF ALL TIME
TOP
40 I said to this train driver: "I want
30 I'm in a great mood tonight
to go to Paris." He said: "Eurostar?"
because the other day I entered a
I said: "I've been on telly but I'm no
competition and I won a year's sup-
Dean Martin."
ply of Marmite - one jar.
39 My phone will ring at 2am and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's
29 I saw this man and woman
that calling at this time?" I say,
wrapped in a barcode. I said: "Are
"I don't know. If I knew that we
you two an item?"
wouldn't need the bloody phone." 28 A group of chess enthusiasts
50 I went to the doctors the other
38 A lorry-load of tortoises crashed
checked into a hotel and were
day and he said: "Go to Bourne-
into a train load of terrapins. What a
standing in the lobby discussing
mouth, it's great for flu."
turtle disaster.
their tournament victories. After an
So I went - and I got it.
37 I swear, the other day I bought a
asked them to disperse. "But why?"
49 A seal walks into a club...
packet of peanuts, and on the pack-
they asked. "Because," he said, "I
et it said "may contain nuts". Well,
can't stand chess nuts boasting in
48 Went to the corner shop - bought
YES. That's what I bought them for.
an open foyer."
four corners.
You'd be annoyed if you opened it
hour, the manager came out and
and a socket set fell out.
27 Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
47 So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants. It
36 I backed a horse last week at 10
was Wedgie Kray.
to one. It came in at quarter past
26 I cleaned the attic with the wife
four.
the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
46 I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything - trying to pack
35 I went down to my local super-
myself in a small suitcase. I can
market and I said: "I want to make
25 I sent my girlfriend a huge pile
hardly contain myself.
a complaint. This vinegar's got
of snow. I rang her up and said:
lumps in it". He said: "Those are
"Did you get my drift?"
45 I tried water polo but my horse
pickled onions." 24 A sandwich walks into a bar. The
drowned. 34 A man entered a local paper's
barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve
44 A three-legged dog walks
pun contest. He sent in 10 different
food in here."
into a saloon in the Old West. He
puns, in the hope that at least one
sidles up to the bar and says: "I'm
of the puns would win. Unfortunate-
23 A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk
looking for the man who shot my
ly, no pun in 10 did.
into a bar. The barman says: "Is this some kind of joke?"
paw." 33 I was having dinner with Garry 43 You see my next-door neigh-
Kasparov (world chess champion)
bour worships exhaust pipes, he's a
and there was a check tablecloth. It
22 Slept like a log last night. Woke
Catholic converter.
took him two hours to pass me the
up in the fireplace.
salt. 21 A jumplead walks into a bar. The
42 I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags. He's
32 Four fonts walk into a bar. The
barman says: "I'll serve you, but
bisatchel.
barman says: "Oi - get out. We
don't start anything."
don't want your type in here." 20 I met a Dutch girl with inflatable
41 Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire
31 I'm in a Chinese restaurant and
shoes last week, phoned her up for
in the craft, it sank, proving once
this duck comes up with a red rose
a date but she'd popped her clogs.
and for all that you can't have your
and says: "Your eyes sparkle like
kayak and heat it.
diamonds." I said: "Waiter, I asked
19 I rang up BT. I said: "I want to
for a-ROMATIC duck."
report a nuisance caller." He said: "Not you again."
STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408
29
‘aving a laugh... is having an affair. She goes to a 18 "My therapist says I have a
11 Went to the doctors and said:
gun shop and buys a handgun. The
preoccupation with vengeance. We'll
"Have you got anything for wind?"
next day she finds him in bed with
see about that."
He gave me a kite.
a redhead. She grabs the gun and
17 When Susan's boyfriend pro-
10 A man walks into a bar with a roll
band jumps off the bed and starts
posed, she said: "I love the simple
of Tarmac under his arm and says:
begging and pleading with her not
things in life but I don't want one of
"Pint please, and one for the road."
to shoot herself. Hysterically, the
holds it to her own head. The hus-
them for my husband."
blonde responds to the husband: 9 I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost
16 I went to buy camouflage trou-
"Shut up, you're next."
three days already.
sers but I couldn't find any.
3 A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 8 "Doc, I can't stop singing The
15 Two fish in a tank. One says:
Green, Green Grass Of Home." He
"How do you drive this thing?"
said: "That sounds like Tom Jones
2 Went to the zoo. There was only
syndrome." "Is it common?" I
one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
14 A woman has twins, and gives
asked. "It's not unusual," he replied.
them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal.
7 Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in
The other goes to Spain and is
love and get married. The reception
named Juan. Years later, Juan sends
was brilliant.
a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving it, she tells her hus-
6 Police arrested two kids yesterday,
band that she wished she also had a
one was drinking battery acid, the
picture of Amal. Her husband said:
other was eating fireworks. They
"But they are twins. If you've seen
charged one - and let the other one
Juan, you've seen Amal."
off.
13 I saw this bloke chatting up a
5 A classic from Tommy Cooper - I
cheetah. I thought: "He's trying to
said to the gym instructor: "Can you
pull a fast one."
teach me to do the splits?" He said: "How flexible are you?" I said: "I
12 My mother-in-law fell down a
1 A woman gets on a bus
with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
can't make Tuesdays."
wishing well, I was amazed. I never knew they worked.
4 A young blonde fears her husband
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A BIG PAGE of
PUZZLE FUN!!
riddles
Across
1. What is the beginning of the end, the end of time, the middle of yesterday, and nowhere in tommorrow? 2. There are two Indians: a big Indian, and a little Indian. the little Indian is the big Indian’s son but the big Indian is not the little Indian’s father. How is this possible? 3. No legs have I to dance, No lungs have I to breathe, No life have I to live or die And yet I do all three. What am I? 4. If a man carried my burden he would break his back. I am not big but leave silver in my tracks. What am I? 5. I can be created by humans, but they cannot control me. I suck on wood, paper and flesh alike. I can be more of a hindrance than help. To my creators, I seem to be everywhere at once. What am I?
1. Hmm... a film studio 4. Slate-colored bird 9. Western brewer 14. He beat Joe and lost to Leon 15. Cookwear? 16. Gumbo ingredients 17. It’s not for naysayers 18. Whooping, for instance 19. Great 20. Capital of Mali 22. Be busy as a beaver? 24. Moslem leader 25. __, amas, amat 27. Hmm... a rapper 31. Rowboat 33. Samovar 34. Outer prefix 35. Corroded 38. Resonated 40. Hews 41. Em, not ‘M’ 44. Bird lover’s offering 45. Flightless South American bird 46. Indistinct 47. __ Wan (Star Wars sage) 48. Call for help 49. Where the stitches are 51. Hmm... a candy 53. Make do 54. Chances 58. Give way 60. Worship 62. A chaperone, probably 65. Inspect, in a way 67. Neither partner 68. Fergie, really 69. More slippery 70. Debtor’s letters 71. Like a lobster 72. Plow inventor 73. Hmm... a business model
Down
1. Noncommittal response 2. Make like a star 3. East coast city 4. Trunk item 5. Disturbance 6. Armed grp.? 7. Yuppie abode, perhaps 8. Draftable 9. It has rows 10. Giraffe’s relative 11. Former Boston Bruin, Bobby 12. Speakeasy tune, possibly 13. Comp. pt. 21. Intense 23. Come together 26. Aromatic resins (fit for a king?) 28. Link 29. Put out 30. Saunter 32. North of NY 33. Be a spoil sport at a costume party 35. __ Downs (Derby location) 36. Part of the Dutch West Indies 37. Associate 39. Manipulate 40. Sci-fi writer, Isaac 42. Jagged 43. Koop’s grp. 48. Where to find a forge 50. Stranger 52. Originally Zimmerman 53. Draw out 55. Ubiquitous fabric 56. The very young or very old may do this 57. Plasma 59. Like a cornerstone 61. French 101 verb 62. Biblical transport 63. Skip stones over water 64. Flimflam psychic, Geller 66. Pass on
Across
1. They might involve shills 6. Taco topper 11. Footballer Parseghian 14. Artwork supporter 15. Basket material 16. Turkish headgear 17. Painful trespassers 19. Libra mo. 20. ___hoo 21. Like Cinderella’s stepsisters 22. Ham it up 24. Painful embassy employee 26. Inherited 28. Got___ (Surprise!) 29. Laugh, perhaps 30. Vague 33. Painful stands 37. Soft drink 38. Mohammed’s markets 39. Likely 40. Painful sandals 43. Get together 45. Mosque masters 46. Croak 47. Paint remover 50. Painful fruit 54. More rustic 55. Troubles 56. Mel who’s in many crosswords 57. UK award 58. Painful, moldable stuff 62. Sec. relative 63. Actor Buchholz of “The Magnificent Seven” 64. A type of 52 down 65. Short for coolers 66. Cathartic plants 67. Twisted cotton thread
Down
1. “Hasta la vista!” 2. Voyageur’s vessel 3. Hefner’s neckwear, perhaps 4. Debussy’s “La ___” 5. Like a layabout 6. Pedestal 7. Covered in residue 8. Golfer’s concern 9. Spanish 101 verb 10. Poison in a play title 11. ...Alive, Magic Is ___ (Leonard Cohen) 12. Straight, pref. 13. People conquered by Cortez 18. ___ Khan 23. Speed freak’s drug 25. Bacon is known to do it 26. Gates, et al 27. Schedule abbreviations 29. Epoxy and mucilage 30. Test drive stat. 31. Proof of debt 32. Vichy, e.g. 33. Jakob ___, founder of modern theosophy 34. Attention 35. Shoulder fired weapon, for short 36. Sault ___ Marie 38. Check out 41. Part of a ceremony 42. Type of shrub 43. Vaporous 44. Common Market, abbr. 46. Bucks 47. It might make your mouth water 48. Three dimensional 49. Nice places 50. Wordsmiths 51. Pawns 52. Type of 64 across 53. Upright slab 55. Like an owl 59. Company with millions of members 60. For 61. Once was Clay
5. A baby 4. A snail 3. I am Fire. 2. the big Indian in the little Indian’s mother 1. Its E!! SOLUTIONS:
It's a toughy!
It's EASY!
Word: ACDEJLRTV
Our own contributors - experienced for expat info
31
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