FR
EE
Andrea Burns Be ready for 2014
s road.e allab www. 30 ber num e issu 4 Y 201
jANUAR
advice, features, quizzes, puzzles, crosswords, markets, fiestas, what’s on + more!
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HAPPY ! T I S T O W W NE
ALL ABROAD
Dave Bull
Edited by Sue Sharpe
k! eak! brea Ta a br ke a Take with
What can I say about New Year that hasn’t already been said, or slurred apart from it looks to be a fascinating year ahead here at All Abroad magazine with the Pocket Rocket Pam King now hitting the streets and meeting customers on behalf of the magazine. Since Pam started helping us in November the response has been fantastic thank you and Pam will soon be in your area to deliver her wonderful banter and personality to locals, wherever you are!
MONDAY/MONTAG/LUNES
1.Benidorm - 10€ 2. Algar/Guadalest - 13€ TUESDAY/DIENSTAG/MARTES
1.Denia/Javea - 15€ (Jan 14,28, Feb 11, 25,)
2. Jumilla - 27€ (inc. Meal + Bodega)
Here at All Abroad HQ things, as ever, are a little quieter in the winter months but it does give us a chance to catch our breaths a little and come up with some new ideas for 2014. Watch this space as there are several on the table – most involving something happening to me I notice but then where’s the fun in being
(Jan 21, Feb 04, 18)
3.Altea/Jalon Valley - 22€ (inc Meal at Monroe’s Carvery) WEDNESDAY/MITTWOCH/MIERCOLES
1. Benidorm - 10€ (Market day/ Marketplatz/Dia de Mercardo)
2. Alicante - 7€
run of the mill?
THURSDAY/DONNERSTAG/JUEVES
One suggestion which is a hot favourite for summer could well see me and Geoff from G.A. Tattoo literally on the run and seeing how far we can get to raise some money for some deserved charities in the region.
1. Cartagena - 10€ *Boat trip -17€ inc boat *Mar Menor Train inc train Boat trip + Train - 20€ inc both tickets (Jan 09, 23, Feb 06, 20)
2. Villajoiosa/Alicante - 12€
New ideas for the magazine and for just enjoying ourselves in general are the plan and if you have any ideas you’d like to see us try – either in the magazine or as some sort of challenge (steady...) then the team here are up for it! They tell me that anyway but when it comes to the day let’s see who steps forward... or if this lot take a step back..!
-Market, choc factory & castle -Marketplatz, schkoladen fabrik, castle -Mercardo, fabrica chocolate, castillo (Jan 16, 30, Feb 13, 27,
2. Alicante - 7€
(Jan 16, 30, Feb 13, 27) FRIDAY/FREITAG/VIERNES
1.Murcia -
- 10€
(Jan 10,24, Feb 07, 21,)
2. Condominia/Ikea/Thader 10€
With Real Radio now broadcasting in Gran Alacant and Torrevieja and looking to
(Jan 10, 24, Feb 07, 21)
expand further it seems that we will be bringing you more and more info early
(Jan 17, 31, Feb 14, 28)
in the mornings on The Breakfast Show which is a live show broadcasting from inside Ruby Tuesday’s bar and restaurant in Gran Alacant. Locals have been sticking their heads into the studio to say hello and ask for requests while the show goes on. It’s great fun and if you would like to come along and join in with the show – and grab a coffee – then myself and Rupert (my producer) will be
3.Caravaca/calasparras - 12€ 4. BENIDORM PALACE COACH + MEAL + SHOW = 51€ COACH + SHOW = 35€ 5. Benidorm Night Out - 11€ SATURDAY/SAMSTAG/SABADO
1.Valencia - 16€ (Jan 11,25, Feb 08, 22,)
2. Alcala del Jucar - 26€
more than happy to see you!
(inc. Meal) (Jan 18, Feb 01, 15)
Big thanks as ever to Sue Sharpe for putting right the wrongs that I frequently
1. Benidorm - 10€
SUNDAY/SONNTAG/DOMINGO
type! (And thanks for reminding me!)
(Market day/ Marketplatz/Dia de Mercardo)
2. Altea/Benidorm - 13€
Have a great one!
FIESTAS! - FIESTAS! ORIHUELA Medieval Market 01 FEB FEV Mercado Medieval
10€
08
12€
AGUILAS MAR MAR
Carnivals Carnivales
VALENCIA
17 MAR MAR
Floral offering Ofrendo floral
VALENCIA
19 MAR MAR
FALLAS
16€ 16€
LORCA
18 APR ABR
Easter week Semana Santa
CARAVACA
02 MAY MAY
Running of the horses Caballeros del vino EVERY FRIDAY
12€ 12€
CV Mm-440-A.
(+34) 96 671 7783 - 675 956 059 info@viajesrosatours.com www.viajesrosatours.com More Trips MANY MORE AVAILABLE
CORDOBA MADRID GRANADA ASTURIAS ANDALUCIA TOLEDO ANDALUCIA EXTREMADURA BARCELONA
contact us on: 96 669 5160 - 606 540 408 - ask@allabroad.es
3
CAMPO
OR COAST?
Where should you buy?
Dave Bull
For lots of people thinking about mov-
Along the coast you can get pretty much anything
ing to Spain the decision is whether to
you want, somewhere – there’s often more choice
buy that tumble-down farmhouse and
too. However, inland you’ll find things often harder
spend some time and effort working on
(or further away) to get hold of but the ‘locals’ will
it amongst the olive trees or hit the coast
soon get to know you and with a bit of luck (and a
and relax?
few practised words in Spanish) you’ll be part of the community.
We’ve been asked many times by people thinking of making the move to Spain. ‘Where is it better to live
Nowadays with Spain’s superb modern roads you can
in the country, or on the coast? But it really depends
pretty much get anywhere in a reasonable amount
on what you are looking for in Spain.
of time (we rarely get traffic jams here – inland or on the coast) and the routes either from or to the
The coast offers cooler temperatures in the summer
Campo to the beach and back, or into major towns
and of course the beaches and larger expat com-
and cities are straight-forward and swift these days,
munities that have established themselves close
if you want them to be. Access is also good now to
to the Mediterranean. For
all the airports; well worth
the new arrival it’s always
considering what you real-
tempting to head where
ly want out of Spain, cam-
the majority of your coun-
po or coast? Plenty of fel-
trymen are. The language
low expats or just a few?
for one is less of an obsta-
Easy access to shops, bars
cle along the coast as many
and services, or a bit of a
businesses employ English
drive? Peace & tranquilli-
speakers (mostly but oth-
ty & a little isolation or in
er languages are spoken
town where there´s more
along too) and are set up
going on?
to cater for the expat. Whatever you decide it’s worth some serious thought Inland it can be a different story and a little more
before you spend too much money but our recom-
challenging for some. The richness of Spanish villag-
mendation to anyone not sure would be to head for
es, sun-baked in history and tradition is emphasised
the coast and get into the ‘life’ first and then visit
in small inland towns and here you more often will
the campo once you’ve settled to see if that could
find a more traditional Spain than that of the coast.
be the future for you. Many have chosen that option
While the seaside restaurants and café bars have
and found that getting to know Spain (the easier
adapted and evolved over the years to cater for the
way) by living along the coast before heading in-
huge influx of foreigners during the year, but espe-
land and enjoying the rural side of Spain after a few
cially in summer, the ‘Campo’ is still very much the
years. Whatever you decide you’ll be made to feel
Spain of anywhere between twenty and sixty years
welcome wherever you end up and by spluttering
ago. That that is not a criticism either.
along in broken Spanish for a while will earn you a bucketful of lot from the native.
4
Along the coast you can get pretty much anything you want, somewhere – there’s often more choice too. However, inland you’ll find things often harder (or further away) to get hold of but the ‘locals’ will soon get to know you and with a bit of luck (and a few practised words in Spanish) you’ll be part of the community.
QUALIFIED GESTORA
Est. 1991
Fiscal help... EIN NEUES JAHR
Januar, für die meisten der unbeliebteste Monat des Jahres. Noch nicht so ganz Warmgelaufen im neuen Jahr macht es das Wetter einem nicht leicht. Und Weihnachtsgeschenke, Flugtickets zu den Lieben und das schicke Schwarze für die Neujahrsparty sorgen dafür, dass es einem beim Betrachten des Kontoauszugs auch noch kalt runterläuft. Man fragt sich besorgt, was wohl sonst noch so abgebucht wird. Besonders relativ neue Wohnungseigentümer in Spanien sind mit den jährlichen Zahlungen noch nicht recht vertraut. Daher gebe ich Ihnen nachstehend eine kleine Auflistung der wichtigsten jährlichen Zahlungen, die an die Gemeinde und das Finanzamt zu entrichten sind, mit den jeweiligen Fristen: • Alcantarillado y Basura (Gebühren für Abwasser und Müllabfuhr) - Abbuchungen per Lastschrift erfolgen in den meisten Gemeinden im März /April • Die jährliche Einkommensteuererklärung für Residente für das Steuerjahr 2013 ist in den Monaten Mai und Juni einzureichen. • Residente haben außerdem zwischen dem 1. Januar und 31. März das Steuerformular 720 einzureichen, in welchem Besitz im Ausland, Konten, Immobilien, etc. anzugeben sind. • Die KFZ-Steuer ist ab Mai bis zum 5. Juli zahlbar, danach wird ein Säumnisbetrag aufgeschlagen. • SUMA (IBI) (Grundsteuer) - Abbuchungen per Lastschrift erfolgen in den meisten Gemeinden am Anfang September • Die jährliche Einkommensteuererklärung für Nichtresidente für 2013 ist zwischen Januar und Dezember einzureichen. • Einkommen aus Vermietungen für Nichtresidenten ist jeweils spätestens am 20. des Folgemonats nach Quartalsende einzureichen. Die Zeitschrift “All Abroad” hat einen A1-Wandkalender gedruckt, in dem die spanischen nationalen und örtlichen “Fiestas” angegeben sind. Meine Kunden dürfen sich bei mir im Büro gerne gratis ein Exemplar abholen. Ich wünsche Ihnen allen ein frohes und gesundes Jahr 2014 ! Für weitere Informationen oder einen Termin kontaktieren Sie uns telefonisch 96 6697824 oder unter office@andreaburns.es. Web: www.andreaburns.es
Spanische Testamente
(auch BERLINER Testament)
Erbschaften/Nachlässe in Spanien Steuervertretung Nichtresidenten-Steuern Gewinnsteuer Vollmachten Notarielle Urkunden Immobilienübertragungen Übersetzungen
A NEW YEAR
January, generally the most unpopular month of the year. Not quite warmed to the new year the weather doesn’t help much either. And Christmas presents, flight tickets to our nearest and dearest and the nice black number for the New Year ’s party have squeezed the life out of our credit cards. While we are running cold watching our bank balance we wonder what will be debited next. Especially relatively new home owners in Spain are not yet familiar with the annual payments. Below a listing of the most important annual payments to the local and tax authorities with the corresponding deadlines. • Alcantarillado y Basura (sewage and rubbish collection) – in most municipalities direct debits are charged in March/April • The annual income tax declaration for residents for the tax year 2013 is to be presented between the months of May and June. • Furthermore, residents have to presents the tax form 720 between 1st January and 31st March in which they declare their worldwide assets. • Road tax is payable from May until 5th July, after that a penalty will be charged. • SUMA (IBI) (ground rates) - in most municipalities direct debits are charged in September • The annual tax declaration for non residents for the tax year 2013 is to be presented between January and December. • Non residents’ income tax returns for rental income have to be presented by the 20th of the month following the end of each quarter. The magazine has printed a full colour A1-size Year Planner 2014, including Spanish fiestas (national and local) and many useful services. My clients are welcome to pick up a free copy in the office. I wish you all a Happy and Healthy Year 2014 ! For more information or an appointment please contact us on 96 6697824 or office@andreaburns.es.
Spanish Probate / Inheritances Spanish Wills Fiscal Representation Non-residents’ Tax Capital Gains Tax Power of Attorney Notarial Deeds Property Conveyancing * Translations
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5
Y Z -A R A C NEW YEAR!
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A very AR! HAPPY NEW YE CARS! from all the staff at CLUB
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7
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EATING IN THE UK
IN THE FIFTIES
FREE & legal TV and at the highest quality with no monthly payments and no more expensive in-
•
Pasta had not been invented.
•
Curry was a surname.
•
A takeaway was a math-
yoghurt. • •
ematical problem. •
A pizza was something to do All crisps were plain; the
•
A Chinese chippy was a for-
•
Rice was a milk pudding, and
• •
•
Brown bread was something
Surprisingly muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
•
seen a picture of a real one. •
Coffee was Camp, and came Cubed sugar was regarded
tling it and •
Only Heinz made beans.
•
Fish didn’t have fingers in those days.
•
Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.
•
charging more than petrol for it they would have become a laughing stock.
•
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Water came out of the tap, if someone had suggested bot-
as posh. •
Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever
in a bottle. •
Sugar enjoyed a good press
•
using tea leaves and never •
“Kebab” was not even a
Prunes were medicinal.
Tea was made in a teapot green.
Seaweed was not a recog-
garded as being white gold.
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking
•
Cooking outside was called
•
only poor people ate. •
after-sales service.
in those days, and was re-
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
since 2004 and offers a superb
word never mind a food.
never, ever part of our dinner. •
ating succesfully in the region
nized food.
eign carpenter. •
vice, DIGINOVA has been oper-
camping.
not. •
Indian restaurants were only
Reliable and offering great ser-
found in India. •
only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or
People who didn’t peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
with a leaning tower. •
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
stallations.
The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties was.... elbows
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DRIVING in Spain
by DAVE BULL
And sometimes (as many
what you see, or more ac
quite what you get. Some
(fictional car hire compan
the shirt sued off my bac
A LOT OF PEOPLE DO THAT
CAR HIRE (at least Dick Turpin wore a mask…)
of fuel into the car that y
size of a wheelie-bin. Wh
or not we’re not sure yet
‘There’s so many road signs along here that I never know
You know how it is. You’ve just had a two hour flight
which one to take notice of’. That sentence, i can con-
which if you plan to spen
listening to some Lithuanian trying to sell you aftershave
firm, will not stop a Guardia Civil officer from drawing his
here means that you mig
and spent two hours previously in the departure zone of
weapon (in this case a pen, fortunately) and proceeding
ling at home – with a full
some airport back home (which was more expensive than
to write a speeding ticket. The fact that I was apparently
on the ‘extra drivers’ tick
Monaco) and the last thirty minutes watching everyone
going faster than the fastest allowed speed on this road
ence in the industry and
else’s luggage passing on the carousel before yours finally
didn’t help my case and he ripped it from its pad, point-
the car is insured – not th
appeared. Now you just want to get to your intended
ed to my payment options, saluted and said ‘now sod off
company no more money
destination as quickly as possible. The only thing standing
stupid.’ He didn’t actually say the last part…but he might
for it handsomely.
(sitting actually) in your way is Felipe from Belgium, the
as well have done.
clerk at the car hire desk, who boasts the charisma of a
. But you knew all this alr
slug…but works a little slower.
read the terms and condi
I was off to meet someone in a petrol station. I’m sure
out for that one because
you’ve done it –arranged to meet someone in a car park or
Frustrating isn’t it? And by the time they’ve finished add-
public place so you could follow them back to your holiday
find any! And on those th
ing up all the ‘extras’, on top of what seemed a good deal
home or a show house, or to collect your Viagra… But if
as vague as a Spaniard g
when you booked it on the internet, you feel like you’ve
you have done it you’ll know what I mean when I say it’s
er themselves (but unfor
been financially abused by Felipe the slug, if there is such
a bit like an eighties cold war spy plot where the two cars
which bits of the car aren
a thing, if not I’ve just invented it. Don’t get me wrong,
pull up side to side and one guy will say ‘do you have the
comes with the car. For e
I’m not knocking all of the guys and girls in the rent a car
merchandise…?’ which obviously in the case of the Viagra
the underneath, flat batte
offices – I used to work with them and some of them are
buyer still happens but for most it is a case of meeting a
a pothole… it goes on, an
kind and helpful but the Felipe’s of this world exist…so
stranger in a public place. Suddenly recognising them and
at Autojumbo will offer y
we’ll pick on them.
that will cover the bits th
then a quick intro’ before you’re off.
good because in the smal You see over the years, things have changed in the car
This time for me it was in a petrol station in the middle of
find MR Vague has been b
hire world, less than ten years ago travellers were hap-
nowhere and a place where the attendant had no hair, and
‘exclusions from insuranc
py with a Seat Marbella (Fiat Panda) that had no aircon,
only one tooth that I could see. Her husband didn’t fare
this insurance…’ of which
no power steering, no stereo, no airbags or even comfort
much better although he was slightly better blessed with
actly what it is you are co
come to that. But with the advent of the internet based
ivory…and had retained the power of speech.
companies over recent years, who have offered more and
So you end up paying a l
more for less and less in an effort to beat the competition, Again it was the same with me feeling like Harry Palmer
now convinced you it is n
customers now require all the luxuries but at the su-
waiting for a car to glide by and give me the nod. The fact
without, even though you
per-low prices that, on first impression, look very accom-
that he turned up and blasted his horn making me jump
head feeling like you’ve j
modating indeed, but…
plane back to the UK aga
like a scared kitten did slightly dampen that idea somewhat.
10
Why all the extras? Becau
emergence of the online and what seem at first glance, ‘budget’ companies the price to actually rent the car is extremely cheap, so they need to make it up somewhere, and Felipe is not letting
PAINT IT BLACK? What’s happened to cars? Have you noticed that over the
GENERAL BUILDER
years the colour, or more accurately, the fashion for the colours of cars that are churned off the production lines around has now evolved to ‘officially dull’? Twelve years ago when I was renting out cars to holiday-makers at Alicante airport I had 13 cars. Two dark blue, two light blue, four green, one white, three orange ones and one pink but now you look at the cars on the road and every one of them, apart from anything over ten years old, will be a version of silver. Maybe it’ll have a hint of green or blue or red but mostly it’ll be silver…ish, or worse some variant on gunmetal grey. Gunmetal grey? What dullard came up with that one, a colour that isn’t even a colour
y of you have written to tell us)
and is the effect of making a tube of metal very, very hot.
ccurately, what you expect is not
In the 70’s, 80’s and even in the relatively downbeat 90’s
ehow or other ‘Autojumbo’ our
the cars on the roads of the world were proper colours that
ny for this exercise so I don’t get
looked distinctive in colour, and shape, from those around
ck…) can squeeze 50€ euros worth
it.
you’ve rented that is roughly the
hether they are using aviation fuel
Nowadays you’ll be lucky if you can tell a Passat from a
t. Another charge is a baby-seat
Mondeo and as they’re painting them all with the same
nd more than a couple of weeks
colour it doesn’t really matter what you buy.
ght as well have left the little dar-
I was in a queue of traffic the other day and I’m not kid-
l time nanny. I’ve not even started
ding when I say the five cars in front of me were all shades
k box yet but I know, from experi-
of silver and the one behind me was silver with a ‘hint of
because we all know that in Spain
bluebell’ as its no doubt described on the brochure.
he driver, that it costs the hire
There’s not even any black or white cars around anymore.
y to add drivers…but they charge
You can’t count hearses – especially around here – but
• BUILDING • PAINTING • PLUMBING • ELECTRICS • TILING • • CONSTRUCCIÓN • PINTURA • FONTANERÍA • ELECTRICIDAD • AZULEJOS
white used to be the colour of choice when we were playing car-counting in the back of dad’s red Austin Princess
ready of course…because you
and as for black? Where are all the gangsters? Any self-re-
itions on the website? Just watch
specting (and well off) crook should have at least one in-
on several sites we couldn’t even
timidating black set of wheels in which to cruise but i fear
hat we did…well they were about
they too have fallen victim of the current mode for dull and
giving directions. They also cov-
are driving around in silver Skoda’s because they look the
rtunately not you) by telling you
same as a Merc.
n’t included in the insurance that
example, tyre damage, damage to
ery, days off road after you’ve hit
nd on. However, those kind people
you an insurance (at an extra cost)
hat aren’t covered…still with me?
ll print of THAT insurance you’ll
busy again and inserted the line
ce can be partially covered with
h there is no explanation as to ex-
overing, or not.
load of ‘extras’ that ‘Felipe’ has
not worth hitting the streets
u haven’t got a baby, and off you
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see the arrows?’ He said, ‘Arrows? I the other half are glad you’re getting hands. She ‘Your up, had gone. and whisper something and 11•• I’m on aawhisky lastpillow week finish drinking hot bath! • What a kangaroo eat for I’msaid, ondidn’t whisky .. .. ..my last week finish drinking thethe hotarms bath! 13 •13 What doesdoes asoft kangaroo eat for even see thediet Indians.’ what’s coming even to even you. Gambling Pork chops pretty black.’ I said, ‘Are Driver sweet’. I said, ‘chocolate fudge’. lostthree three days! Dreams breakfast? Pouched eggs eggs I Ilost days! Dreams breakfast? Pouched 9 • Gambling has brought our family 16 • I bought some pork chops and the doctor, ‘It hurts when
aises arm]. He said, ‘Well,
together. We had to move to a smaller told the butcher to When them lean. a couple of customers just what they I asked Fortune Teller night I dreamt I was eating a aMarriage I’ve Fortune still got my gloves 8 • A drunk was 7driving his car down Teller 7•make •Last Last night I dreamt IAdvice was eating Marriage house. He said, ‘Which way?’
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(2) ten thought amarshmallow. wonderful little (notWhen really) wentMusic to aa fortune fortune teller and she pound INever woke •14 My•wife said ‘Take me inme your 22••I Iwent to teller andMarriage she ten pound marshmallow. When Itucked woke My wife said ‘Take in your a one-way street when aofpoliceman 15 •shop, tell14 people your troubles. 10 •Cathy, I took saxophone lessons for six 17 • I said to my wife, ‘I can’t eat this Dear away behind Citroen garage in Benijofar that sells arms hands. Shestopped said, ‘Your my pillow gone. and whisper something soft and m?’ She said:looked ‘It doesn’t at my months until I dislocated my jaw. How beef stew.’ Sheup, said, ‘Shut up! It’s the had looked atSince my hands. She said, ‘Your up, my pillow had gone. arms and whisper something soft and him. The cop said, ‘Didn’t you Half of them are not interested and tosupposed Spain my husband has debut it bothers me.’ He did Imoving know I was to blow in custard pie!’ such a variety of what can only be described as interest-sweet’. I said, ‘chocolate fudge’. future looks pretty black.’ I said, ‘Are Driver She said:future ‘Well, everylooks the small end? Undertakers thatwhen he is black.’ going to enjoy HISarrows?’ retirement pretty I the said, ‘Are Driver I said, ‘chocolate fudge’. the doctor, ‘Itcided hurts see He said, He’ll ‘Arrows? I the other half are sweet’. glad you’re getting wind it up, he bites my Betting 18 • Never trust aning undertaker. good quality used furniture and curiosities, theyAdvice youkidding? kidding? I’ve still got my gloves drunk was driving hishis carcar down and11sit around do nothing (apart from drink 88• •Aand • You know what agot racehorse is gloves always let you down you I’ve still my A drunk was driving down Advice ises arm]. He said, ‘Well, didn’t even see theoffIndians.’ what’s coming to you. ered a range of adjectives from fascinating to15 . . . play an animal that can take Doctor beer, golf, sleep andseveral break wind) and(3) a one-way on! street whenranging a policeman • Never tell people your troubles. the chef,on! ‘Why have you thousand people for a ride at the same 19 • I said to the a doctor, ‘Can you givestreet when a policeman one-way 15 • Never tell people your troubles. Gambling Pork chops when I ask for help all I get is the response mysterious and pretty muchsaid, everything else inyou between.Half of them are not interested and nd in the alphabet soup?’ time me something for my liver?’ Hehim. gave Doctor stopped The cop ‘Didn’t stopped him. The cop said, ‘Didn’t yousome Half of them are not interested and thatJester he has worked all 9 his life and now his m groping Doctor for words!’ me a is pound of onions. Gambling has brought our family 16 • I bought pork chops and 3 • I said to•tothe doctor, ‘It•with hurts see the arrows?’ He said, ‘Arrows? I the other half are glad you’re getting 12 What do you call an out-of-work Sleep time rest. I’m so angry himwhen as• II have I asaid the doctor, ‘It hurts when the arrows?’ He said, ‘Arrows? I the other half are glad you’re getting or told me3 to • drink bottle to jester? Nobody’s fool! 20 sleep like asee baby . . I wake up Youmove see Cathy´s Curiosity Shop in told Benijofar really is what’s n rushed into hospital together. We had to to a smaller the butcher to make them lean. I do this’ [raises arm]. He said, ‘Well, didn’t even see the Indians.’ coming to you. worked all my life and looked forward to myevery morning around 3am. screaming I do this’ [raises arm]. He said, ‘Well, didn’t even see the Indians.’ what’s coming to you. just that. Take a wander around and you´ll be met by Put-down in Spain toohouse. but it has turned into Gambling e boy and said, ‘Doctor, He said, ‘Which way?’ don’t doretirement it.’ Pork chops 21 • There’s no end to his talent – and don’t do it.’ Gambling Pork chops the imposing figure of Cathy who will welcome you as a nightmare. Do you think I should up sticks no beginning either. Alarm clock 9 • Gambling has brought our family (2) 16 • I bought some pork chops and has swallowed an alarm Music Marriage and go back to England where I canBallet enjoy as she does has everyone and everyone shops Alarm clock 9warmly • Gambling brought our who family 16 • I bought some pork chops and 22 • I was a dancer once in Swan • A woman rushed into hospital We had move to toldwife, the butcher make id, ‘An 4alarm clock? Does 10 • Ihim took lessons fortosix 17a•smaller I said to my ‘I can’ttoeat thisthem lean. my retirement alone and leave to hissaxophone beer together. Lake. I fell in. here is now her friend – just pay the shop and visit and 4with • A woman rushed into hospital together. We had to move to a smaller told ‘Which the butcher herdrinking little boy andthe said, ‘Doctor, house. He said, way?’to make them lean. Doctor (4) pals until money runs out? ?’ She said: ‘It doesn’t months until I dislocated my jaw. How beef stew.’ She said, ‘Shut up! It’s I will betand you 23 • I went to seehouse. my doctor he now that you come back as with a new with her And little boy and said,bean ‘Doctor, He said, you think it would thealarm wrong my little boydohas swallowed Music Marriage (2) ‘Which way?’ said ‘I want you to lie down on the but it bothers me.’ He did I know I was supposed to blow in custard pie!’ friend in Cathy. couch.’ Ijust said, ‘What for?’ He said, ‘I thing to do ifswallowed I kicked him in an the privates my little boy has alarm Music Marriage (2)
y has swallowed an alarm
aid, ‘An alarm clock? Does
clock.’ He said, ‘An alarm clock? Does
10 • I took saxophone lessons for six
Finally... British TV made simple!
17 • I said to my wife, ‘I can’t eat this
to sweep up.’ She said: ‘Well, every the smallwant end? Undertakers before getting on the plane? Waiter clock.’ He him?’ said, ‘An clock? Does 10 • I until took Isaxophone lessons for six beef17 • I said to my‘Shut wife,up! ‘I can’t it bother She alarm said: ‘It doesn’t months dislocated my jaw. How stew.’ She said, It’s eat this Debbie. Torrevieja 24 • I told the waiter, bringthis me aTardis of a place lay all sorts of treasures, art Inside wind it itbother up, he bites my Betting 18my • Never trust an undertaker. botherhim, him?’ said: ‘It doesn’t months until I dislocated jaw. beef stew.’ SheHe’ll said, ‘Shut up! It’s a chicken. butShe it bothers me.’ Hechicken. So he brought did Ime know I was supposed to blow in Howcustard pie!’
deco. traditional. Italian made, retro or just ‘Just a minute,’ I said, ‘It’sClassical, only got 11me.’ •every You know what aI racehorse is supposed always let you down Dearbut Debbie, said, ‘Why?’ Sheitsaid: ‘Well, the end? bother him, bothers He did know I was to blow in Undertakers custard pie!’ one leg. ‘It’s been in asmall fight.’ I said, the down-right daft and funny! Cathy´s shop is just as ‘Well, bring me the winner.’ You poor poor girl, what was this man like . . . an animal that can take several Doctor (3) time I go to wind it up, he bites my Betting 18 • Never trust an undertaker. He’ll said, ‘Why?’ She said: ‘Well, every the small Undertakers Cannibals a place end? for selling as it is for meeting and Cathy when you lived in England? If he was the cannibalsmuch 25 • Two were eating a finger.’ 11 • You know what a racehorse is always letNever you down the chef, ‘Why have you thousand people for a ride at the same 19 • I said to the doctor, ‘Can you an give time I gosame to wind it should up, he bites my Betting 18 • trust undertaker. He’ll clown – one said to the other, ‘Does encourages all her clients to come back and see her, then you have seen this comhe taste funny to you?’ Soup . . . an animal that can take several Doctor (3) d in the alphabet soup?’ timeand all of this me something for my liver?’ He gave finger.’ 11 • You know what a racehorse is always let you down ing. But perhaps he wasn’t or others who are under the same orders, and enjoy a 5 •for I said chef, have you for acan ridetake at the sameandof19 •Doctor I said to the doctor, ‘Can you give is ato bigthe surprise to ‘Why you? I suggest you talk thousand Soup . coff . . ee an animal that (3) groping words!’ Jester aseveral pound onions. and apeople natter amongst some fime ne furnishings him (when he isalphabet sober) and soup?’ share your got yourtohand in the time me something He gave trinkets. 5 • I said to the chef, ‘Why have you people for a ride at the same 19 • I saidfor to my theliver?’ doctor, ‘Can you give What do youthousand call an out-of-work Sleep feelings and the hopes12 you•had for a shared He said, ‘I’m groping for words!’ Jester me a pound of onions. handa in soup?’ time something retirement. Ithe also alphabet thinkjester? we should have a lit- fool! r toldgot meyour to drink bottle Nobody’s 20 • I sleep like ame baby . . I wakefor upmy liver?’ He gave Doctor (2) • What dorealistic you call an out-of-work Prices are kept as Cathy says she likes the shop Sleep tle chatgroping so contact for me through the magazine 12 He said, ‘I’m words!’ Jester me a pound of onions. screaming every morning around 3am. 6 • My doctor told me to in drink a bottle Nobody’s fool! I sleep like a baby . . I wake up email and put ‘Cathy’ the subject line and jester? to be ever-changing oasis in the heart of the Spanish 20 •Sleep Doctor (2) 12 • an What do you call anPut-down out-of-work they will pass your contact details on to me. village of Benijofar, and it is just that. Whether I call in screaming every morning around 3am. 6 • My doctor told to drink a life bottle jester? Nobody’s fool! 21 • There’s no end 20 to • Ihis sleep like–aand baby . . I wake up Be strong and me remember it’s your talent daily or weekly the stock at the Curiosity Shop is alwaysPut-down Debbie! screaming every morning around 3am. beginning 21 • There’s no end to his talent – and changing and there´s always plentyno of new and interest-either. Kisses, Cathy Put-down no beginning either. Ballet ing pieces to mull over while you enjoy a coffee. 21 • There’s no end to his talent – and Ballet
From ONLY
Dear Cathy, My wife doesn’t know I’m writing this but I really need a quick word and some advice on how to put her straight. You see we came to Spain to retire a few years ago and since then all she has done is complain! I’ve worked hard all my life (I know she had a full time job too, but it was sitting down all day) and think I’ve earned a rest but all she does is complain that I haven’t helped her clear up or walk the dog or something. I’ve offered to get a cleaner in to help her but she just went mad!? And the last thing I want to do after a day’s golf is to come home and have to do the washing up or something but she can’t see it. I’m sure a few wise words from you would make her see the light Cathy? Thanks in anticipation, Derek. Torrevieja. Dear Derek, Call me. Now. Cathy.
€179
22 • I was a dancer once in Swan
*
no beginning either. Oriental and Asian throws adorn aLake. few of the I walls fell in. 22 • I was a dancer once in Swan Ballet while a duck (a noisy one…) guards the entrance and Lake. I fell in. Doctor (4) 22 (4) • I was a dancer once in Swan further into this Aladdin´s Cave an antique wooden Doctor 23 • I went to see my doctor and he rocking horse gently trots back and forth – odd seeing 23 •Lake. I fell in. my doctor and he I went to see said ‘I want you to‘Ilie down on the as I was the only one there at the time… saidDoctor want(4) you to lie down on the
fitted!
couch.’ I said,couch.’ ‘What for?’ He said, ‘I my I said, ‘What for?’ He said, ‘I 23 • I went to see doctor and he *For new clients transferring their Fancy a haggle, barter and a natter?want Cathy usually to sweepwant up.’ to sweep up.’ said ‘I want you to lie down on the
custom to Diginova from another does so if you have something to sell or are looking for Waiter Waiter couch.’ I said, ‘What for?’ STB. He said, ‘I company & using existing something that will enhance your home, and make it 24 • I told the waiter, bring me a 24 • I told the waiter, me aup.’ wantbring to sweep that little bit different, pop in and you´ll find somethingchicken. So he brought me a chicken. chicken. So he brought Waiterme a chicken. that´ll make you say, ´now what is that..? ‘Just a minute,’ I said, ‘It’s only got ‘Just a minute,’ I said, 24 • I‘It’s toldonly the got waiter, bring me a
Call: 966 695 714 ‘Well, bring me the winner.’ Mobile: 660 631 ‘Just a minute,’ I said, ‘It’s only got ‘Well, winner.’ what really is the best shop I’ve seen in years!bring me the Cannibals one leg. ‘It’s been in470 a fight.’ I said, 380 - 691 629 Cannibals 25 • Two cannibals were eating a ‘Well, bring me the winner.’ 25 • Two cannibals clown were – www.diginova.tv one eating said to athe other, ‘Does Cannibals clown – one said to the other, he taste funny to ‘Does you?’ diginova@ •email: Two cannibals were eating a he taste funny to 25 you?’ clown – one said to the other, ‘Does live.com he taste funny to you?’ one leg. ‘It’s been in a fight.’ I said,
So Ihe brought me a chicken. one leg. in a fight.’ said, If you haven´t been to this place yet, don´t miss‘It’s out onbeenchicken.
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1.Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game. 2.The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot. 3.Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound. 4.It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it. 5.When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red. 6.Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die. 7.Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart. 8.Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Sixyear-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. 9.Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. 10.The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down if it weren’t for the fact that the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over. 11.Never hold your nose and cover your mouth when sneezing, as it can blow out your eyeballs. 12.The world’s smartest pig, owned by a mathematics teacher in Madison, WI, memorized the multiplication tables up to 12. 13.In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives. 14.Every Labrador retriever dreams about bananas once in a while. 15.Approximately one-sixth of your life is spent on Wednesdays. 16.You can actually sharpen the blades on a pencil sharpener by wrapping your pencils in aluminum foil before inserting them. 17.111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 18.12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. 19.123,000,000 cars are being driven down the U.S’s highways. 20.160 cars can drive side by side on the Monumental Axis in Brazil, the world’s widest road. 21.A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off. 22.A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate. 23.A cow produces 200 times more gas a day than a person. 24.A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. 25.A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours. 26.A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21inch tongue. 27.A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel can. 28.A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. 29.A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. 30.A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee. 31.A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. 32.A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove. 33.A whale’s penis is called a dork. 34.America once issued a 5-cent bill. 35.An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes. 36.An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. 37.Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. 38.Ben and Jerry’s send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one
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flavor: Mint Oreo. 39.Dolphins sleep with one eye open. 40.Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it’s kissing the conveyor belt. 41.If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. 42.If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom. 43.In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10. 44.It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (Don’t try this at home!) 45.More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money printed throughout the world. 46.More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes. 47.More people use blue toothbrushes, than red ones. 48.Mosquitoes have teeth. 49.Most Americans’ car horns beep in the key of F. 50.Most cows give more milk when they listen to music. 51.Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin. 52.Most lipstick contains fish scales. 53.Over 1000 birds a year die from smashing into windows. 54.Owls are one of the only birds who can see the color blue. 55.The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. 56.The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year. 57.The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night. 58.The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing. 59.The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable. 60.The only nation whose name begins with an “A” but doesn’t end in an “A” is Afghanistan. 61.The “save” icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk, with the shutter on backwards. 62.There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. 63.There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball. 64.There are over 52.6 million dogs in the U.S. 65.There are more chickens than people in the world. 66.There are more plastic flamingos in America than real ones. 67.There are only four words in the English language which end in “-dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. 68.There are only thirteen blimps in the world. Nine of them are in the United States. 69.When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food. 70.Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland. 71.You’re born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206. 72.You’re more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day than in any other weather.
73.Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland. 74.The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in Jello. 75.The starfish is one of the only animals who can turn it’s stomach inside-out. 76.The state of Florida is bigger than England. 77.The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter Pan.” 78.The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. 79.The Neanderthal’s brain was bigger than yours is. 80.The oldest known goldfish lived to 41 years of age. Its name was Fred. 81.The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world. 82.The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher. 83.The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado. 84.The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F. 85.The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672. 86.The katydid bug hears through holes in its hind legs. 87.The “L.L.” in L.L. Bean stands for Leon Leonwood. 88.The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.” 89.The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds. 90.The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural. 91.The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. 92.The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane. 93.The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “Its A Wonderful Life”. 94.The condom – made originally of linen – was invented in the early 1500s. 95.The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. 96.The Earth weighs around 6,588,000,000,0 00,000,000,000,000 tons. 97.The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies. 98.The electric chair was invented by a dentist. 99.The elephant is the only mammal that can’t jump. 100.The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.
LMED..?!!
oVERWHE
15
Let It Roll Sue Sharpe
An early start was required as the ferry was due to depart at 10:30. We’d said our goodbyes the night before, to save
Boarding began early (probably because of the rain) and,
our hosts from having to rouse themselves so early on a
once aboard, we soon found our cabin, having taken the
Sunday, so all that needed to be done was put the final few
time to find out where it was on the outward journey. Once
bags into the car, and away we went. Even though the jour-
the ferry had left its mooring we began to get ourselves
ney to Portsmouth is only a short one (30 miles), we al-
settled for the next 24 hours. I had decided to read Perfect
ways like to leave plenty of time for our journeys for fear
People by Peter James on this leg and in hindsight, it prob-
of being caught in traffic or having car trouble such as a
ably wasn’t the best book to start reading when faced with
breakdown or puncture. With hardly any traffic on the A3,
– ahem – choppy conditions! (if you’ve read it you’ll know –
we arrived at the Portsmouth International Port in plenty of
and if you haven’t – you’ll have to read it now, won’t you?).
time. The ferry port is very well signposted on all the ma-
I will freely admit at this stage that I am not the greatest
jor roads approaching Portsmouth. Simply follow the signs
sailor and the combined motion of the ferry and the (excel-
and head for the Brittany Ferries check-in booth(s). As with
lently written) first few chapters of the book were making
the Santander check-in, you will need to show your ticket
me feel quite queasy.
and passport(s) and, in return, receive your cabin key(s), rear view mirror hanger and information about the ferry
Why the heck do you travel by ferry? – I hear you ask – The
(Brittany Ferries operate two ferries on this route and your
cabin, I reply! I am absolutely fine if I can get myself hori-
return trip may be on a different vessel). You will also be
zontal. The rocking (& rolling & pitching & yawing) motion
told which line to join to wait for boarding.
of a boat sends me to sleep. The only slightly worrying bit was that I’d have to take the top bunk - I would like to re-
Unlike Santander, Portsmouth ferry port is not just a two
mind you at this time about my fear of heights (yes, I know,
minute walk from the city centre. If you want to visit the
it’s only a couple of meters). Phil is a true gent and allows
historic dockyard - home to HMS Victory, The Mary Rose,
me to sleep on the lower bunk but in this situation it would
Naval museum and so much more – I would suggest going
have meant that he’d have to run the risk of disturbing me
before you check-in. Obviously, if you are on the 10:30 sail-
(it’s never a wise idea to wake a sleeping Sue!) when he
ing (as we were) there simply isn’t sufficient time to visit.
was ready to turn in. I gingerly padded up the (removable)
I would thoroughly recommend travelling to Portsmouth
step ladder and threw myself headlong into the pillow. With
the day before to enjoy the many delights it has to offer.
a couple of bottles of water with me to keep me hydrated, I
As well as the historic dockyard there is Gunwharf Quays -
was ready to let the high seas do their worst and promptly
with over 90 outlet brands – it’s a great place to pick up a
fell asleep – at 3.30pm! I awoke the next morning at 9am
last-minute bargain and is also where you’ll find the Spin-
refreshed, but not yet ready to leave the bunk as we were
naker Tower where, when you reach the top (if the lift’s
still a couple of hours out of Santander and still bouncing
working!!) you can enjoy breath-taking views of the city.
over the waves. When the headland came into sight I de-
This historically significant city has much to see & do – find
cided to be brave and move to the lower bunk take some
out more here! We, of course, were there on a wet, cold
shots of the headland including the impressive Palacio de
Sunday morning and our ferry was due to leave before any-
la Magdalena.
thing was open so we settled for a coffee & a bun from Costa Coffee in the ‘new’ terminal building (which was opened by Vince Cable MP on the 10th of May 2011).
16
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– The Journey Back Home Sunday 17th March 2013 – Despite the rough crossing the ferry docked on time and
Disclaimer: This article was originally posted on my
in no time at all we were back on dry land (phew!) and
blog: www.hiddenspain.info/wordpress. The content of
heading south, reversing the same route that we had
my blog are the views and observations of the writer and
taken on the way up to Santander. Why is it that the
may differ from those of the reader. The writer of this
homeward journey always seems to go quicker? Maybe
blog is not a travel writer and does not pretend to be
because it’s all downhill? (Joke). Maybe it’s the longing
one. The writer takes no responsibility for your lack of
to be back in familiar surroundings? Who knows? What-
sense of humour.
ever the reason, by late afternoon, we were crossing the border back into Extremadura and were only a cou-
About the author - Sue Sharpe lives in the wilds of Ex-
ple of hours from home. We arrived in Alange just af-
tremadura which – let’s face it - is probably the best
ter the sun had set and, after stopping at a local bar to
place for her. She (and her partner) grow their own food;
get something to eat, arrived home just after 10pm. We
keep chickens and other sorts of hippy stuff. She is oc-
would have to wait until morning to collect Alan from
casionally allowed out in public to write for travel guides
the kennels and so, after unpacking the car, we settled
and maintains her own blog about her life & experiences
down with a (large) drink and enjoyed being back, on
at www.hiddenspain.info/wordpress. Should you ever
our terrace, in our home in Extremadura (without having
encounter her while she is on assignment, approach with
to fight for a place on the bed – at least for one night!).
caution and preferably with a gin & tonic or chocolate! Photos & text © Sue Sharpe 2013
Our own contributors - experienced for expat info
17
Bob Morris takes a stroll along the Mediterranean coast.
The Image: http://www.montorocastro.es/
Sierra Helada By Bob Morris
I had been told by several people about the Sier-
drops down to the rocky s
spectacular, especially fro Gobernador. At this point
of the cliff that some of us
and headed a short way in at a safer point.
ra Helada, the range of cliffs, stretching along the
We got taxis to Albir and started the walk at the car park
coast from Benidorm to Albir. I then read up on it
at the top of the street “Cami de la Cantera”. Here there
At one of the many stops
and decided that although it was a linear walk that I
is a tourist information hut from which you can obtain
view of the Isla Mitjana, t
would go for it as when I reached Albir I knew that
very good booklets in Spanish and English describing the
nidorm and Albir which ap
there was a regular bus service back to Benidorm.
nature reserve of the Sierra Helada, and a map of the
the rare Audouins Gull, on
walk.
Eastern Mediterranean. M
started and hoods came u
I mentioned this walk to one of my walking friends and before I knew it there were 10 of us doing the walk and
You should not be fooled into thinking that this is a gentle
very rare birds could have
that my one day hike had turned into a walk and a night
cliff top walk, Bridlington it is not. The climb from the car-
and we wouldn’t have kno
in Benidorm.
park is very steep and all along the walk are deep gulleys
There are that many ups
with some quite treacherous paths in the wet (probably
not seem to be getting clo
The hotel has booked, a convoy to Benidorm, and the
best not to try this walk in bad weather). The thing about
and there was the famous
walk started. We decided that it would be a good idea to
gulleys is that for every down there is an up.
you have not actually bee
time for a group photo on
commence the walk in Albir and finish in Benidorm (noth-
sussed.
ing to do with being in a pub sooner). In fact this turned
In fact a book I have, Costa Blanca Walks by Charles Da-
out to be a good decision as the weather was not kind to
vis says that it is “as rough and rugged as anything in the
us and no sooner had we got into a bar at the end of the
Region”. If you are doing it you do need proper walking
Then comes the last ridge
walk that the rain, which had been threatening all day,
boots and a head for heights. Some sections of the path
which is such a landmark
came down in torrents.
touch within a metre of the edge of the cliffs with sheer
at the northern end of the
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shore. However the views are
down to “La Cruz” where people have stuck all kinds of
om the antennas on the Alt del
messages to dear departed. Reminded me of the shrines
the path is so close to the edge
that are all over the Yorkshire Dales where motorcyclists
s climbed away from the path
have come to grief.
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nland until we rejoined the path From this cross it is just a road walk down into Benidorm
STEAM CLEANER
and everything the place has to offer and goodness didn’t
s we made there is a fantastic
we partake. I will not go into details in order to protect
the small island between Be-
the guilty and I do realise children, those of a delicate
pparently is the nesting place of
nature, and wives read Jungle Drums. I won’t even name
nly found in the Balearics and
the guy whose dentures I found in the sink in the morning
Mind you at this point the rain
with
AUTO-DETECTION
of floor type!
when I went to clean my teeth.
up, heads went down, and these
e been doing things on our heads
If you don’t feel you want to do this walk then from the
own or cared.
car-park in Albir there is a short, energetic stroll along
s and downs that Benidorm did
the road to the lighthouse, El Faro del Albir, with fantas-
oser but then one more climb
tic views of Altea and Calpe. You don’t have to spend the
s site of the hotels which even if
night in Benidorm but all aches and pains are soon forgot-
en there you have seen. This was
ten if you do.
only
99.90€
nce the camera timer had been
e and you can see the cross at the far end of Levante beach
e promenade. We made our way
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It's a toughy!
Across
1. Sock 5. Yiddish ‘trash’ 9. Less 14. ___wolf 15. Van Morrison’s homeland 16. Make the innocent look guilty 17. Like poultry allowed to forage 19. Most populous English-speaking country 20. Alchemist rewrites Charles Dickens classic 22. Wane 23. Nice summer 24. Snake 27. City in the Evergreen State 31. School grp. 34. Decorated 36. 4,840 square yards 37. Art supporter? 39. Alchemist rewrites Alexandre Dumas classic (with ‘The’) 42. Mission San Antonio de Valero 43. Merit 44. Friend 45. Abbreviation in an ad 46. Withhold 49. Humor magazine 50. ___ -mo 51. Me in Montreal 53. Alchemist rewrites Ian Fleming classic 61. Seventh month for Moslems 62. Fine china 64. Saudi’s neighbor 65. Draft status 66. SAS is based here 67. Parking spot and corner office, perhaps 68. Season to be jolly 69. Enthusiastic exclamation
Down
1. Grp. with panda logo 2. Cowboy’s concern 3. ___ code 4. Irritate 5. Like some dads 6. Peal 7. Hence 8. Sailboat stabilizer 9. “Desert Storm” aircraft 10. Bert’s buddy 11. ___ vs. Roe 12. Author Ludwig 13. Scan 18. BBQ favorite 21. ___ Shannon 24. Draw a bead on 25. Climb 26. ___ colony 28. Pains’ partner 29. Doctor 30. Four: prefix 31. Sacred song 32. Inventor Nikola 33. Synthetic resin used in paint 35. Like a night light 38. Doctors org. 40. Lacking certain defences 41. Unfriendly 47. ___ voyage 48. Zilch 50. Was offensive, in a way 52. Nome dome 53. Something on stage 54. Feeble 55. Not open, not closed 56. Stratford-Avon connector 57. California lake or park 58. Priceless? 59. ___ does it 60. Stir up 63. Negatives
It's EASY!
Across
1. Usage fee 5. Ponders 10. Nursery items 14. Nabisco product 15. Son of Cain 16. Halo 17. Keep out of... 20. Hawkeye State 21. Supervise 22. Gee preceder 25. It stretched from Germany to China 27. Map abbreviation 28. “___ de Lune” (Debussy) 30. The first of a famous trio 32. Religion founded 5th century AD 36. Telephone (slang) 37. A meal 39. Beer type 40. Do not puncture... 43. Janis ___ (singer) 44. Overthrows 45. Fog 46. Part of a brooch 48. Actress Winger, to friends 49. A swindle 50. Globe 52. Il ___ (Mussolini) 54. Needlefish 55. Fatigues 59. Mechanical repetition 61. ...are closer than they appear 66. Not written 67. Concur 68. Small amount 69. Rowboat 70. Commence 71. Night light
Down
1. Rocky hill 2. Pay dirt 3. Field 4. Places 5. Catcalls? 6. Let loose 7. Interest group, abbr. 8. Nymph who missed Narcissus 9. Hindu god, ‘The Destroyer’ 10. San Diego players 11. Smokey to Simone 12. Family ___ 13. Reasonable 18. Happy ___ 19. Actor Joseph Gordon-___ 22. Imitative 23. Like Brussels lace 24. Wheat meal 26. Matured 29. Stopping place 31. 60s draft dodger, perhaps © 2006 dave fisher 33. Tying 34. U.S. acquisition of 1867 35. Trusted guide 37. Tear 38. Stockholm’s airline 41. Containing copper 42. Flightless bird 47. To a great degree 49. You ___ would! (Sure!) 51. Greek letters 53. One is Halley’s 55. Ash, for instance 56. Longest river in Spain 57. Open a crack 58. High ranking NCO 60. ___ Brockovich 62. A Gershwin 63. Future flounder 64. ___ 60 (stat) 65. Sought election
Word: ACEGIMNOS
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