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There is a steam railway hidden deep in the Hampshire countryside that runs between the mall towns of Alresford and Alton. It is known as the Watercress Line. Nathaniel and Hannah and their parents were off for a daytrip aboard the steam train. Leaving their little house in the woods in the care of Pip the cat, they drove the few miles down to Alresford. Just as they arrived, a whistle sounded; steam flew up into the blue sky. ‘It’s time to leave!’ announced Dad. Waiting at the platform was a gleaming green engine. A tall guard with a peaked cap, mutton chop whiskers and a lollipop stare explained with glowing pride, ‘This is a Lord Nelson engine.’ Nathaniel blinked. ‘So this old steamy won the battle of Trafalgar!’ he whispered excitedly.
Leaving their little house in the woods in the care of Pip the cat, they drove the few miles down to Alresford.
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The guard’s mutton chop whiskers bristled irritably. ‘The train leaves in five minutes!’ he bellowed. Everyone found their seats as the whistle blew once more and coal smoke puffed through the air as Lord Nelson groaned and pulled the creaking carriages away from the station on their journey to Alton. The guard re-appeared, asking to see everyone’s tickets. Hannah, just two years and six months old, looked at the guard intently. ‘Are you a pirate?’ The guard had covered one of his lollipop eyes with a black eye patch since the train had left the station. ‘A pirate?’ the guard roared. ‘Do I look like a pirate?’ He waved his arms in the air, but only had one hand. The other was a hook. ‘Now don’t be rude, Hannah,’ chided her mother. ‘He’s just a guard doing his job.’ Looking out of the window Daddy and Nathaniel watched the rolling Hampshire cornfields pass by and listened to the steady chuff chuff from the Nelson’s boiler. Sitting opposite was a couple called David and Katy. Both were very tall. ‘Hello!’ said David to Nathaniel. ‘If that guard is a pirate then I am a magician.’ ‘Is he a pirate?’ asked Nathaniel.
“A Pirate!” the guard roared. “Do I look like a pirate?”
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‘Oh yes very much so. And I think we are in for some trouble!’ replied David. ‘But don’t magicians wear tall hats?’ queried Nathaniel. ‘What, like these?’ said Katy and as if by magic she produced from behind her back two wonderful tall black silky hats. She put one on over her mop of ginger hair and popped the other on David’s head of not so much hair (In fact he had almost none!) Mummy, Daddy, Nathaniel and Hannah sat and stared, quite lost for words. So did everyone in the opposite seats. ‘Wands!’ Hannah declared, firmly. ‘Yes, don’t magicians have wands?’ Nathaniel said in a very important voice. ‘Like these?’ smiled David and with a flourish he conjured two whip-thin black and white wands from his waistcoat pocket. By now Daddy had stopped looking out of the window and Mummy had stopped knitting her little tea cosy hat. In fact everyone was looking at David and Katy, who were smiling with pride at the success of their magic tricks. ‘Don’t magicians have wands?’ Nathaniel said in a very important voice. ‘Like these?’ smiled David.
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But the silence was broken by a crackle and a whine over the train’s loudspeaker. ‘This train has been hijacked by me and me hearties, and we’re going on a little journey to the coast to board my ship! No one shall leave and food from now on will be turnip gruel.’ It was the voice of the guard. ‘David,’ Nathaniel said quietly, ‘I think I do believe in magic!’ ‘Good boy Nathaniel! You might save the day if I grant you three wishes. But wishes aren’t that easy,’ David added. ‘For each one you will have to pay something back.’ ‘What should I pay back?’ said Nathaniel, thinking his piggy bank was not so full in his bedroom at home. ‘Well now let me see…’ said Katy. ‘As we are on a steam train journey, I think…I think…’ she snapped her fingers decisively. ‘That promising to go on another steam train for each wish granted should suffice.’ ‘But what if we don’t want to go on another steam train!’ interrupted Mum. ‘I might like to go on a shopping trip, or visit some lovely gardens with fine smelling flowers, instead of another steam train trip.’ 8
Katy smiled. ‘Well it’s your choice. The rules of magic are clear though, and must be obeyed.’ She tapped her wand on her hat. ‘And that’s that!’ ‘Yes,’ said David enthusiastically. ‘And of course if you use all your wishes up then it will not be three steam train rides, it will be all steam rides!’ ‘Sometimes two wishes are better than three,’ laughed Katy. Mummy was not at all happy at the prospect of several weekends being spent away on steam train journeys. ‘One journey is quite enough, Nathaniel. You are not to make any wishes. I for one shall make this my last journey. What nonsense!’ Hannah clapped her hands enthusiastically. ‘I like steamy trains!’ ‘So do I!’ chorused Nathaniel. Dad was careful how he chose his words but he was thinking it might be good fun going on numerous trips around the country. ‘Well I don’t see why not...’ he murmured absent-mindedly. ‘The rules, Nathaniel. Remember the magic rules…’ warned David. ‘What if I use all my three wishes and they all come true and we don’t go on a steam train journey again?’ asked Nathaniel, who was of an age to constantly ask questions. ‘That would be very silly,’ said David. ‘That would not be clever,’ added Katy. ‘As I say, the rules of magic are very simple and they must 9
never, never be broken.’ ‘Why?’ said Hannah innocently. ‘It would be foolish,’ hissed Katy. ‘It would be dangerous,’ David said gravely. ‘It would be most unwise,’ Katy murmured. ‘It would be very, very scary!” David added. ‘It would be...’ Katy trailed off and looked disinterestedly at her gleaming long red nails. She then looked up and smiled, menacingly. ‘We are magicians, do not dare to question us!’ ‘Now – enough time wasting! What do you think pirates might be afraid of?’ David asked, looking around the carriage for some sensible suggestions. Daddy rolled his eyes upwards. ‘For goodness sake! It was Peppa Pig week last weekend, this weekend it’s Pirates on the Watercress Line. It’s not real!’ As he spoke the door was flung open and the guard limped in. One leg was now a wooden peg and he had a large cutlass in his good hand. Following behind him was the cook and a raggle-taggle bunch of shifty eyed fellows with napkins wrapped over their hair. ‘Oo said Peppa Pig weekend?” bellowed the guard. Daddy now looked nervous. Pointing his hook at Daddy, the guard roared ‘Take him to the coal truck! We’ll make him work to fill the boiler.’ 10
‘Oh please!’ Mummy said, sighing with what Daddy thought was a rather sarcastic voice. ‘And take her too and put her in the kitchen to make pirate gruel!’ shouted the not so pleasant pirate guard. And off they were bundled, exclaiming indignantly that they had paid good money for this trip. David looked at Nathaniel and Hannah. ‘Remember—three wishes. Use them wisely or we shall all end up as slaves on a pirate ship.’ Hannah was grumpy. ‘I want my Mummy and I want a biscuit!’ In fact all the children were hungry and did not like turnips. Soon all the children on the train started chanting excitably: ‘We want biscuits, we want biscuits!’ Suddenly the carriage door was flung open again with mighty force and the pirate guard hobbled in. ‘My name is Cap’n Spike,’ he roared. ‘No one gets biscuits, they just cleans, washes and does as I tells ‘em. If you’re lucky then Cook lets you have some of his ‘orrible turnip gruel. Now all the little children with dummies will give them to my Mummy!’ In walked a very large woman with green bushy hair, smoking a pipe. On the end of her very large nose was an even larger wart. She was wearing an apron splattered with turnip juice. She didn’t have an eye patch but she did have one purple eye and one orange eye. ‘Very scary,’ stuttered Nathaniel. ‘I am scary!’ screeched Cap’n Spike’s mum. ‘and I’m ‘Orrible!’ she cackled, spittle flying from her lips. ‘All the children with dummies will go to sleep!’ And with that she produced her own wand dripping with turnip juice. She swung it in the air, covering the little children with green sludge. ‘Yes I am a witch and I can make you sleep!’ 11
With that all those under five nodded off and fell peacefully asleep. Katy and David looked intently at Nathaniel who did not go to sleep. ‘I am five and I will not sleep! he protested indignantly. ‘And what is your name, little boy?’ roared Cap’n Spike. ‘Well my name is Nathaniel and it has nine letters,’ he said proudly. ‘That’s a long name for such a little boy”, cackled Cap’n Spike’s mum. My name is ‘Orrible—Aunty ‘Orrible to you, and you will mind your ps and qs.’ Nathaniel went sensibly quiet. David and Katy whispered again, ‘Three wishes! Use them sensibly. What would scare a pirate?’ Nathaniel thought for a moment and then replied, quick as a flash. ‘ I want some dinosaurs!’ Suddenly there was a roar as loud as could be, making the carriage and engine of the Lord Nelson shake and heave. In fact every one, ‘Three wishes! Use them sensibly. What would scare a pirate?’ pirates, children and parents were very, very much shaken. ‘Oh dear,’ sighed David. There was a huge thud, then a scratching sound like long finger nails scraping on a school blackboard that made everybody’s hair stand tall. The poor Lord Nelson had a Tyrannosaurus Rex grappling and scratching on the carriage roof. 12
‘ROAR!’ The train rocked and shook. Looking out of the window, Nathaniel could hardly believe his eyes. Not only was there a dinosaur on the roof, circling up above the train now was a Pteranodon, the largest of the pterosaur family of flying reptiles. And as if that was not enough, what lay up ahead made the Lord Nelson blow its whistle and slam its brakes on hard. It began to slow down. Standing on the rail tracks was a Stegosaurus. This was enough to make Hannah and all the small children wake up and exclaim ‘I want my Mummy!’ There was another huge roar from outside the train and the small children exclaimed excitedly, ‘We want cake!’ before peacefully going back to sleep. ‘Look out! We’re going to crash into Stegosaurus,’ shouted Dad to the engine man called Jim. The plated dinosaur was sat firmly in the middle of the tracks. Engine Man Jim pulled on the brakes with a screech as the train slowed on the tracks. Sparks flew from the wheels and rails. Lord Nelson ground to a halt in a cloud of steam and smoke before the slumbering Stegosaurus. ‘Phew! That was close,’ Engine Man Jim grinned. ‘You can stop shoveling coal,’ he shouted at Dad. ‘I think those dinosaurs might be scared of pirates,’ he winked. Daddy, who had been using a shovel as hard as he could to heap coal into the Nelson’s hungry boiler, was as black if not blacker than liquorice. He stopped shovelling and looked at the Stegosaurus sitting on the rail track and the Pteranodon circling overhead. Mummy, green from the turnip juice, stopped chopping. The pirates were terrified, Cook was snivelling and shaking under the table. ‘I want my mummy!’ Cap’n Spike and his ‘Orrible mum were trying to make their escape out of the luggage carriage. 13
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Snarling and dripping his hungry tongue over long, long teeth, the T Rex lunged forward.
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They were soon followed by Cook and all the other shifty looking pirates running across the rolling Hampshire cornfields. Cap’n Spike hobbled as quickly as he could on his peg leg with Aunty ‘Orrible close behind. ‘Nasty horrible Dinosaurs!’ she screeched. The Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn’t going to let them get away so easily. It jumped off the roof of the train and within four easy dinosaur strides was standing over the miserable pirates. Snarling and dripping his hungry tongue over long, long teeth, the T Rex lunged forward. That was the end of Cap’n Spike, Aunty ‘Orrible, the cook and all the other shifty pirates. The Pteranodon swooped in for the fun and picked up Aunty ‘Orrible. In not more than three mouthfuls they were all gone. Now the thoughts of the mighty dinosaurs were focussed on the other dainty morsels aboard the train, especially the tasty little children. Nathaniel, like everyone else, had been watching everything from the carriage window. Now Daddy and Mummy joined him. Katy looked at Nathaniel. ‘You’ve two more wishes. What and who is brave enough to fight and kill a dinosaur?’ ‘Well…’ He thought for a moment, remembering they had been to Portsmouth the previous week to see HMS Victory. ‘If this train is named after a very famous person who won lots of sea battles maybe Lord Nelson can help us,’ Nathaniel said excitedly. ‘It is done,’ smiled Katy. Suddenly sailing through the sky came a mighty wooden galley ship, its sails blowing in the breeze, its hull painted yellow and black—the colours of the famous Victory. Cannons were firing with gusto and flags were fluttering from the main mast. Standing at the bow of the ship was a very distinctive figure, with just one arm and one eye covered by a patch. But this was no pirate. This was the very man himself that the steam engine was named after—Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson! ‘Oh my life!’ muttered Daddy. This was meant to have been such a quiet afternoon he thought, and 16
they hadn’t even reached Ropley station yet! To be continued‌
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