Letter From My Brother Michael’s Letter Indicating A True Change Of Mind And Heart 281

281 the day he dies. To the woman he said that she would be in great pain in childbirth and her natural desire would be to rule her husband but he must rule over her. 2 In Christian marriage the man is the head of his wife, in the way that Christ is the head of his church. As the church is to be subject to Christ so the woman is to be subject to her husband. 3 This order has to do with the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and since God placed this curse on His creation after the fall, then that order remains to this day. 4 We should follow the order, set by Christ, for all relationships between men, wife, children etc. And not think we know better.

This order of relationships still continues to this present day, as demonstrated by the fact that the curse, placed by God on his creation, still remains. Therefore so should the order between men, women, children, church and elders remain in the church?

As a result and after discovering similar problems relating to women taking on leadership roles in a Church in the Philippines I wrote an account of my run in with the elders at Jesus is Lord church at warsash in my book ‘‘Mary, Mary Quite Contrary’’, or Alternatively, ‘‘ Does The Lord Jesus Want Women To Rule As Elders In His Church? I then left the Church and began meeting with a new group of Christians called The Christian Gospel Church that met in the Hilton Hotel in Farlington.

Letter From My Brother

My brother Michael had written to me in 1998 asking me to help him and I could tell from his first letter he was in a very bad way. He told me of another Englishman, Suny Wilson, who had been “set up” for a crime he did not do and was sentenced to death in 1996. Michael use to visit him on Death Row and spend time together. The Philippine Supreme Court acquitted Suny Wilson, on the 19th December 1999 through the help of Alan C. Atkins and Errol Wilkinson and he had given Michael a small paperback entitled “Mere Christianity” by CS Lewis on his release. Michael read this book and was later convinced that Jesus was the Christ the Son of the living God.

Michael’s Letter Indicating A True Change Of Mind And Heart

Dear David, 7th May 1999

With regards to me writing my life story etc, for you to include in your book! Please David forgive me but I am so screwed up, I just could not handle it right now. It takes me all my strength to just write this letter to you...

I am so very pleased that you are concerned for me and that you include

282 me in your prayers and your fellow Christians. I do believe in God and Jesus Christ but even though I pray and ask him to please forgive me, for all my sins, and to help me to be a better person and to take over the rest of my life on earth and to lead me into heaven - I do not want to go to hell because I know that what I am suffering now is nothing to the perpetual hell which would await me after physical death on earth. My faith is not strong enough and I am so very, very, confused. Even if I get out of here what am I going to do with the rest of my life. I am looking very old, skinny, withdrawn. I have not smiled in almost 4 years. Where am I going to live? How can I earn a living in my condition?

Oh, David I am so very afraid of the future and it hurts me so much to even think about it. I have become old before my time and all I can see is loneliness in some dingy rented room and no chance of ever finding some one (a lady) to love and share things with. Oh, David what am I going to do?

The only thing that stops me thinking about suicide is that hell will be waiting for me and the torment there will be a million times worse. Will I ever smile again? Will I ever love again? Will any one love me again? Is it possible to be happy again? I do not have any reason to live and that is so very frightening. Oh, David I know you have your problems that may be greater than mine and to be honest I do not know how you cope. How do you manage to keep working and keep your home going, the loss of you wife must be absolutely unbearable? May be you can suggest how I tackle my problems of the future, for me there simply is no light at the end of the tunnel.

When I leave here I don’t even have a pair of shoes. I will have to start all over again but the question is how do I start all over again? I simply have no will to live and I just could not cope with living on my own as I know I would not be able to fend for my self. To think of buying a property is really out of the question. What do I do? What do I do?

Another reason why I cannot think of writing my life story is because I am truly ashamed of many of the things I have done and I don’t really want to broadcast my evil past for every one to read. I have confessed to the Lord and I just hope He will forgive me.

You asked me how I felt about you becoming a Christian 30 years ago. Well I was quite proud of you but felt you were a little over the top but I never mocked you in any way. My heart broke with Karen Mead and the collapse of Tudor Charm and my divorce I will expand on that some other time so please David not at the moment, you may have to wait until I am released.

At the moment I am taking each day at a time and I keep praying that I will be acquitted of this horrible conviction, which I hope will give me added

283 strength to face the future. I am sorry my letter is so depressing, all I can do is pray to out the Lord for strength and guidance.

Once again David thank you again for not forsaking me and I am sure you will be always there to give me support.

Please give all my love to the Children

41 How My Life Was Effected

Whilst going through all these difficulties and emotional trials I am sure, as I look back, that I subconsciously created manic highs in order to avoid depression. This is my theory. Any way I did my utmost to be good at my job and also find another outlet to express my emotions.

In my endeavours to do my best for all my students I got my self into trouble at Fareham College, towards the end of the summer term. At that time of the year we held a practical examination, for the Electronic Servicing 224 course and I along with an external assessor, from Portsmouth College, was responsible to conduct the practical tests for the RTEEB Examining Board and to mark their work and ensure there was no cheating. It was a recognised national standard test.

On this occasion one of my better students, who had paid for his own course fees, made a simple error in the test he was conducting. I noticed his mistake and realised that this could result in a failure. So I altered his script to read correctly. Unfortunately the external examiner noticed the change and alerted the senior management of the College. I justified this action, to myself, because I was the best person and only person to judge if this student was capable to do such practical work. He had proved himself to me over the two years I had taught him and I knew him to be good. He just simply made a mistake. Fortunately the student was unaffected as he has sufficient marks to pass regardless of my alteration but the matter was brought to a disciplinary hearing and I could have been dismissed. In mitigation I had several personal testimonials, from former students, speaking on my behalf regarding my previous good conduct and beneficial help they had all received, which resulted in me getting written warning for one year. One former student was Mike Fisher from Gosport and Michael Evans from Petersfield.

John Sawyers funeral

At that time John Sawyer, one of my students died. He was a diabetic and lived alone at 6 Ranson Close, Titchfield.

The police rang me one morning asking if I knew John Sawyer. I explained I was his course tutor at Fareham College and he was one of my student doing a City and Guilds course in Electronics Servicing.