camouflaged the dirt roads. Their pale-colored shirts were stained a charcoal grey and there was grim building under their nails. Bending down to comfort a child beggar, her guide aggressively swiped her arm away from the hope-lit face. “Sick, no touch,” the guide explains in broken English. “No touch, no touch.”
Inheriting Discrimination
FEATURE ARTICLE by Napat Luan.
Bobbi, the founder of the nonprofit company, “Tribe of Lambs.”
Aid for AIDS The prejudice and stigma behind the Human Immunodeficiency Virus in India. At just the youthful age of 25, she was experiencing a midlife crisis. Being a stylist and dance teacher, she knew she fostered creativity but was that really all she had to offer as a global citizen? Dance classes and fashion advice? Being born and raised in the mountainfilled province of Alberta, Canada, Bobbi was stuck in a constant state of comfort with the exception of the sub-zero winters. She
craved a change. She’d forgotten how it felt to greet new faces, see new landscapes, experience a new culture. A new norm. Jumping on a plane, her year-long journey of self-discovery and empowerment began in South Asia. Bobbi adored the thrill of culture shock but she couldn’t wrap her head around the number of abandoned children that
Throughout Bobbi’s travels, she began to register the children’s alarming living conditions but she didn’t completely comprehend the magnitude of their illness until her guide identified the disease as the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. As stated by AVERT, the virus which is commonly known by its acronym, HIV, attacks one’s immune system, making it difficult to resist infection and diseases. People living with HIV are categorized in three stages, acute HIV infection, chronic HIV infection, and Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, also known as AIDS. AIDS is the last stage of HIV, meaning the immune system is completely damaged and can no longer combat infection. Although this disease is a common problem worldwide, according to AVERT, India is suffering from the third largest HIV epidemic in the world because of the lack of mother to child prevention. “After becoming aware of the huge issue which receives limited attention, I decided to concentrate our efforts there,” Bobbi explains as she summarizes her travels in India. “It’s hard to be a witness to children struggling to have their basic human rights met and understand how we, as citizens of the world, have allowed this to happen.” The stigma and
“It’s hard to be a witness to children struggling to have their basic human rights met and understand how we, as citizens of the world, have allowed this to happen.” discrimination related to the disease is a common reason why most individuals living with HIV have a low quality of life. Most children born with the virus lose their parents due to abandonment, AIDS, or are simply unable to provide the necessary medical treatment to care for the disease as the treatment cost an extensive 618,900 US dollars according to WebMD. D i s t u r b i n g l y, t h e I n d i a n government does not support HIVpositive children, denying them a right to education without discrimination and refusing the kids housing at government-run
orphanages. Not only does this reinforce the fear and stigma surrounding the virus, but it also leads to increasing cases of child labor, prostitution, and beggars.
Forming the Flock Bobbi’s travels around India allowed her to reflect on her privilege and brainstorm ideas to contribute to the HIV crisis. “I began to consider what this life is, what I have to offer and what I wanted to create for myself and others,” Bobbi says. Her epiphany led to the creation of the company, “Tribe of Lambs.” The business sells ethically made jewelry, aiming to support and fund the needs of HIV-positive children in India. “Tribe is representative of the community we’re building,” S h e c l a r i fi e s . “ L a m b s a r e representative of the children. Like anything, there is strength in numbers.” The “Tribe of Lambs” company logo.
Although HIV is most commonly linked to adults, parents can easily pass the virus onto their child before they are born. According to
the World Health Organization, mother-to-child transmission rates range from 15% to 45% during the breastfeeding period, pregnancy, labor, or delivery. “I saw an opportunity for a business model,” Bobbi recalls, looking back at her experience of creating the company. “[It] not only fostered my entrepreneurial spirit but also offered a platform to make an impact in the world. Helping kids, who often don’t have a choice, was my main focus.”
“Helping kids, who often don’t have a choice, was my main focus.” Since India is a country rich in raw materials, handicrafts, and skill, jewelry was the perfect product to sell. After Bobbi’s first trial run of the business, funded through an Indiegogo crowdfunding campaign, her team became committed to the cause. “I realized [something] straight away,” she reveals. “This was awesome! And oh my gosh, this isn’t going to be easy.” Her team has since been able to fund 8 short-term projects, each focusing on improving different aspects of living like providing winter clothing, building libraries, and installing solar panels at group homes. Not only do these campaigns allow her to visit new provinces to directly deliver the donations, but she is able to meet many of the 584 kids her team has supported. Other
Rings and bracelet produced by the “Tribe of Lambs” company.
long-term goal for the company is to create an annual program to grant tuition fees for children at R a y ’s C h i l d r e n ’s H o m e , a n orphanage housing HIV-positive kids.
Role Model Mindset Even with the funds supporting HIV-positive children, some of the kids are simply too sick and are unable to regain their strength. “This year, we faced the death of an HIV Child first hand,” Bobbi explains. “Being there with him during his final days really reinforced the importance of our work. While there is tragedy behind a child dying young, there is value in the fact that this child had the opportunity to experience joy, family, warmth, education, love and creative expression in his final few years, where prior to coming into our care, he was destined for much worse,” she nods, expressing the importance of her work. Bobbi also insists that combatting the HIV stigma and discrimination is her most important task despite the many challenges and demands involved with her job. “My priorities have shifted to the well-being of others, including the
kids, our artisans, customers, and all those impacted by our work,” she clarifies. Bobbi’s dedication and selflessness perfectly models the ISB values of care and commitment as she consistently dedicates her time and efforts to the lives of others. Not only did she decide to leave her family and hometown behind to work in India, but she also sacrificed her opportunity of becoming a professional dancer to fully commit to the company. “I had always hoped “Tribe of Lambs” would allow me to use my energy in life for good, for connections, for impact, and my own freedom,” she beams when asked how her involvement with children has affected her mindset. “It has been a humbling experience to see the generosity of others, both strangers and otherwise.”
allowed “Tribe of Lambs” to aid over 500 children. Her determination and experience demonstrates how an idea can evolve to become reality, proving that everyone has the ability to make a difference and contribute to change.
Working for Change
“What if we all tried to live with a little more compassion?”
Thanks to Bobbi’s hard work, everyone has the ability to easily help the children suffering from HIV in India with just a few clicks of a button. The profits earned from the jewelry sales have
Bobbi will be continuing to develop the company by building new facilities throughout India and will begin partnering with multiple nonprofit organization to promote awareness throughout the UK, India, and Canada. “It has been profound to see the impact which can be made in the world, for social change, with little effort,” Bobbi concludes. “Many questions have arisen for me around the ethics, values, and morals of life. What if we all tried to live with a little more compassion?”
Bobbi pictured with kids at Ray’s Children’s Home.
FEATURING: David T homson W ritten by Kate McArthur
DAVID, ISB'S SECRET W ARRIOR
W
hen you think of courage, what do you imagine? Maybe a soldier, a firefighter, or people like Malala and Rosa Parks? We tend to think straight to the extremes like someone saving their neighbor's cat from a burning building or signing up, voluntarily, to take English 10 Challenge. Well, what if I told you the extraordinary attribute of courage was hiding in the ordinary? W hat if I told you that courage was sitting drinking a caramel frappe at the Grind? Picture this, a friendly, bubbly, kind boy who has role models David and his dad rafting near their summer home in I daho. such as his parents and the empowering Michelle Obama. He loves his family, his friends, and of course Brooklyn 99. T hose who don?t know David too well, who maybe have a class with him, Bullying is repeatedly using David was bullied relentlessly see him in the hallway, or even actions or words to intentionally from 3rd to 5th grade. David, teach him, would never guess that hurt someone. Actions or words. who is gay, was called things David, a friendly teddy bear of a W hen asked about his like ?fagot? and ?stupid?. He guy, is a warrior. knowledge surrounding bullying started to believe what the as a kid David replied, ?I ?d bullies were saying. He felt never been told what bullying worthless. David felt so was.? Schools will talk about hopeless, he attempted suicide. how to respond to bullying but L uckily, 5th grade David was sometimes forget to explain not successful in this. what it means to bully. One of T he effects of bullying are the most common detrimental to our health and misconceptions is the idea that if well being. According to it?s not physical it doesn?t hurt.I n David?s case the bullying sociologist Robert W. Faris, and Professor of sociology, Diane was both physical and verbal, Felmlee,?Victimization is also ?You don?t just get pain from significantly related to suicidal someone punching you,? he told ideation, social isolation, anxiety me. T he confusion around the and depression, low self-esteem, definition of bullying is physical health problems, and dangerous because children diminished academic won?t be able to get help unless performance and school they know what to get help for, attachment.? and when it?s time to get help.
H ow do you define bullying?
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?You don?t just get pain from someone punching you.?
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Bullying has extremely negative effects on both our mental and physical health. Usually there is a connection between the two, like a domino effect, with one leading to another. Physical and emotional pain distributed by the bully causes psychological pain. Abuse may lead to hurting oneself physically to try and distract from or control some of the mental pain. I n David?s case, it took the situation getting physical for David to realize it was bullying. Before he was bullied he?d known bullying as a typical boy behavior. He said,?So I just thought that they were just being themselves.?Rough play and foul words were dismissed as normal. An added complicating factor to David?s stor y is his sexual or ientation.
byauthor
A study done by the Gay, L esbian and Straight Education Network shows that,?LGBT secondary-school students experience higher rates of bullying based on not only their sexual orientation and gender identity, but also their appearance and body size. They?re also more likely to experience sexual harassment, cyberbullying, and property damage, among other forms of intimidation and abuse.?T hese findings are clearly mirrored in David?s story as he was targeted by bullies because of his sexual orientation.
After David?s suicide attempt he began to confront the bullying that made him feel so worthless. He has since changed schools, has made many friends, and has become the welcoming smiling face walking down the hallway that we get to see everyday. I n 2016 David told his story for the first time very publicly at the I SB middle school diversity assembly. W hen asked about what drove him to get up and speak that assembly day, David responds, ?I have no idea.? He remembers suddenly telling the current 8th grade counselor, who had been sitting next to him, ?I need to speak.? He described the situation as if he were watching over head, an out of body experience. ?I did my actions without speaking,? he said. I t?s courageous, to say the least, to get up in front of the whole middle school, come out as gay, share a suicide attempt story, and to remind us all of the importance of thinking before we speak. David shared his story so that not only are we reminded of the severity of the consequences caused by bullying, but so that others would know that they are not alone. Since being bullied, instead of focusing on forgetting these awful incidents, David has used them to make him the person he is today. He?s used these experiences to remind others of how we should treat people and to let people know that it gets better. He has been a mentor to the middle schoolers. He is also now the secretary of a new club, harvesting hope, where they raise money to purchase seeds covered in a water based polymer that already has anti pesticides in them. T his is so that farmers don?t have to spray fields, decreasing the risk of respiratory disease in local farms around T hailand. And David is an active member of our school?s GSA/ GEC (gay straight alliance and gender equity club). I nstead of hiding fr om bullying David battles bullying.
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I gnor ing the pr oblem
T ime to Dive in
T here are things in life we try to ignore. L ike our dog?s puppy eyes when they beg at the table, or that enormous pile of homework that continues to grow exponentially.?People don?t like to deal with unhappy things, naturally,? David told me. Bystanders tend to be scared that the bullying will be re-directed at them. Standing up to someone can be scary and intimidating. David said that people like to think that, ?if they can?t see it it doesn?t exist,? so acts of bullying are ignored.
Ok if we?re being honest, completely removing bullying and all forms of harassment, is impossible. However, reducing it and making it socially unacceptable is very possible. To minimize the stigma surrounding bullying such as it being the victim's fault or that opening up about being bullied is a sign of weakness, we have to start at the roots, families. I t?s really important that families talk to their children about bullying so that kids don?t continue to have misconceptions and misunderstandings. Parents also need to talk about kindness because,?Your parents are going to mold who you are,? David says.
Sometimes it?s ignorance, rather than the intentional disregard for bullying, that inhibits our ability to prevent bullying. ?I also think that parents and teachers and adults need to know that children are so much more cruel than they think they are,? David cautions. We often put it past children to be able to cause any real damage but we need to remember that we?re products of our surroundings. Sociologist Robert W. Faris, and Professor of sociology, Diane Felmlee, say that, ?exposure to aggression and conflict in the home consistently relates to aggressive behavior. Parents who are aggressive or neglectful, use corporal punishment, or engage in serious conflicts with each other are more prone to have children who bully.? Children imitate their environment and the people in it. ?T hey can be cruel in so many ways,? David recalls. Kids can be cute but that doesn?t mean they are not capable of doing wrong. I t seems like the fact that children are capable of being mean is overlooked.
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I t may be difficult but, I t?s important that schools remember to confront verbal aggression and the power of words when they educate their students on bullying. W hen asked about how to get this message across David says, ?I t?s kind of hard to tell people how much words hurt unless they?ve been hurt by words before,? he continues, ?I don?t know if there?s much that we can do besides T RY.? T r ying is the key piece. ?Put in the effort to make your community a better place, personal satisfaction, and you?ll be working towards bettering your community,? David advocates. David?s story is one that could?ve turned out very differently. T hankfully, it turned out for the better. As individuals, we don?t have control over what bullies do or how they treat people, but we can control how we respond and how we treat others. David says, ?For the people that are going to read this or that have heard the speech (the diversity assembly speech),? the best thing you can do, ?is think about what you?re saying before you say it,? ?Would you want someone else to say that about you? Or want someone else to do that to you? And if the answer is no it?s probably something you shouldn?t say or that you shouldn?t do or act upon.?
So, think, before you speak. 4
November 2017
Interview Magazine
Micronesia to Manhattan
From the smalls islands of Micronesia to the bustling metropolis of Manhattan, a story of a young woman who loves life and will help people at all costs. - Nolie Giles
In the midst of the bustling city of New York only 2 blocks from central park stands an aging brick building. Unaware passersby walk though lost in their own personal bubble. High on the top floor lays an office overlooking central park, the perfect place to sit and people watch. However, the office is void of its occupant. For she is away travelling to who knows where to work on her latest project. This office belongs to Kelly Larson and over the past few years she has become a big influence in my life. Her work is inspiring and her dedication to helping the world astounds me. November 2017
She stands tall with brown eyes and short brown hair, she wears small narrow rimmed glasses which she constantly pushes up her nose. Kelly has a loud voice, yet the way she speaks makes her seem easy going and approachable. Her life is a constant stream of action and projects with barely a minute to breathe. But Kelly loves her job and wouldn’t trade it for anything. From my interview I could see that Kelly fully encompassed the well known quote “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Interview Magazine
Since the Beginning Starting from a young age Kelly knew she wanted to help people. Kelly started her young adult life playing basketball the Pacific Lutheran University which was a Division 3 school in Washington. “The sport grounded me and gave me a new sense of structure” she said when I asked her about the benefits of playing a sport t h r o u g h u n i v e r s i t y. Throughout college she maintained a busy schedule of work, studying, and sports. But that all seemed to change quickly as she looked into public service and charity work. “The beginning of my last semester in university I began applying for service positions with many different organisations.” It was a long process of contacting programs and weeding out the one for her. Her final choice was the Peace Corps.
covers 2.1 million square kilometers of ocean, it only covers 702 square kilometers of land. Kelly’s application was granted and she began her training soon after college. When she was being dropped off on the island, she stood watching the boat and all of her friends leave, her first thought was that she was “completely and utterly alone.” In her had she knew that once the boat let she wouldn't have anyone. Looking out over the water the other islands were just a blur in the distance. When I asked her about a challenging moment from her time on the island she said that the “hardest moment was when I first got off the boat and realized I didn’t know the language or where I was living. I didn't even know what job I was doing. But the thing is that with time you just find your way, and people may help you find your way, but if not, you just have to figure it out."
“We made 11 dollars a day, we lived on dollars and dimes.” - Kelly Larson
“I knew I wanted to go abroad and learn new languages and experience different cultures” Kelly says when I ask her about the Peace Corps. The Peace Corps is a government-run volunteer program founded in 1961 by John F. Kennedy to send people from the United States to other places to volunteer and help communities in need. Kelly’s application was granted and she began her training soon after college. Her final location was Mosh island in the lower Morlocks of Chuuk State, Micronesia. According to Micronesia’s official website, Micronesia lays about 800 kilometers from Philippines and while the country
November 2017
Call to Action Once the initial shock passed, Kelly immediately threw herself into the community and took it upon herself to learn their language and adapt to the culture. The main religion practiced throughout the island was Protestantism because of the missionaries that had
travelled to the islands and influence them. One aspect that she had not expected was the conservative behaviour regarding women and men.
Interview Magazine
When I was interviewing Kelly she says that during her first week she was being lead around by her host mother when they entered a room with men scattered around. Some were sitting on the floor, some were standing. Then her host mother got onto her knees and walked across the room on her to the other door. Kelly’s first thought was “oh my gosh, there is no way that I am doing that!” But soon after she followed. Being nearly 6 foot this was not an easy task. Little did Kelly know that women Micronesian culture dictates that women must never be above men. This means that even when passing a man a woman on this island would bow her head so she didn't stand as tall as a man sitting. Women were also expected to stay within their house boundaries. However, Kelly remarks that her excuse for not following the strict rules of house boundaries was that she was there for the whole island and not just for that family. Kelly recalls, “People called me Rapan. This meant that I was rebellious and went beyond my boundaries which was not appropriate for a woman on the island. ” Kelly reflects, “Time passed slowly there. There were no distractions, I couldn't just pick up my phone and scroll for hours on end.” Settling back into the world was difficult after spending two years with no access to creature comforts and technology. She remembers that she became very judgemental of others and thought too highly of herself at times. She also felt anxiety about work after Peace Corps. Little did she know that her next job would be with the United Nation's, leading her to another island.
Back in the Game After her two years in the Peace Corps, Kelly knew she wanted to keep working in public health and still wanted to travel. When she found the opportunity to work and volunteer for the UN, she jumped on it. Kelly’s most memorable assignment was in the Solomon Islands with a small island community. Her job there was to place clean water filters in ground water shallow wells. However, her job went further than that. Solomon Island culture limited a woman’s responsibilities. The main repairs and tasks were given to the men. Since women used the most water for cooking and cleaning Kelly thought it best to teach the women how to work and tend to the filters. Kelly’s boss was an engineer whose main priority was efficiency while Kelly’s was a connection to the people. This led to many challenges for our volunteer. Kelly summed up this experience best when she says,
November 2017
Kelly’s New Home
“Sometimes the best learning experiences come from negative situations.”
Bloomberg or Bust After working for a year with the United Nations, Kelly returned home and decided to take a job with New York’s Department of Health. She spent five years focused on traffic safety in communities throughout New York, mainly East Harlem and the Bronx. She also worked on helping public health clinics by educating doctors about each community's most pressing issues. This work lasted five years until she landed on the doorstep of the mayor of New York. In 2008 she began working with the Bloomberg Foundation and since then she has led numerous projects ranging from drowning prevention to road safety in 54 countries. She now manages a large program that has been running for 12 years and has over 259 million dollar invested in it. This road safety program works with 15 countries. This program targets law enforcement, the structure of the roads, and vehicle safety. Developing countries battle police corruption so Kelly worked closely with police departments to build trust. Kelly says, “One large cause of accidents is that roads are built for cars, not people. They were built for speed, not safety.” This links to one of the main goals of the project - road structure. Lastly, one of their many projects in Thailand is helmet and seatbelt laws. Overall, Kelly has been apart of life changing projects. Kelly states, “I keep getting more work and more responsibilities which must mean I’m doing a good job.” While Kelly loves her job right now, she doesn't get the same hands on experience like she did when she was with the Peace Corps. She thinks that the Peace Corps or any volunteer work is a great way to start off your life after college because it really teaches you how to be independent and how to care of others. Kelly would like to work with the Peace Corps again before she retires. As we finish our interview Kelly laughs, “I started off my career with the Peace Corps and I think it would be wonderful if that’s how I ended it.”
Interview Magazine
A fight for Freedom in an
Encaged Society The story of Lorraine Michaud Through the words of Ludovick Bernier-Michaud
In the mid 1900s, high school was not a place where many women thrived to succeed, for Lorraine Michaud, she felt encaged in this system and surprisingly, working in bars and restaurants was the only way for her to get the freedom she needed.
orn and raised in a typical baby boomer family, with young parents and a lot of kids. She was the last child, in a proletarian family of 7 in the suburbs of Quebec, Canada. Her parents, both very conservative and traditional, made it harder for her to have that freedom and autonomy she always wanted. Unlike the millions of other women in Canada, who had not much goal other than to become a housewife, raise kids and never get much of an education, she was always looking for that independence. Although she went through her early teenage years in school. By 10th grade, it was time for her to stop school and start working. When asked about it, she replied with a quick and bitter “Because it was time I start working.� In 1980, the dropout rate for women was around 16.6% percent and she was one of those girl. But one thing did make her standout from the rest, she was dropping out to work, to be independent and to break social barriers.
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Work was something not many women of the time were familiar with. Things like cleaning, cooking and helping raise a family was a more accepted occupation. It was not the first idea that came to her parents mind either. Looking at my grandma, I could not imagine her in this type of environment. She was the type of women to go out there and discover and learn and disregard others opinions. A strong will to have more freedom in a society, who then restricted a lot of it, is what lead her to start working. At the age of 17, she had already signed her first contract and was working to bring income to her family rather than in-house benefits. The job was not an exciting one and meant doing boring things like distributing mail and every now and then, get to use the typewriter. After a few months, the feeling of being encaged in the society remained.
Lorraine Michaud Now a grandmother, returned to school at the age of 65 after having dropped out of high school, 48 years earlier, in the 10th grade
Proudly standing by the entrance of her sons office (United Nations, Germany)
Alongside her 2nd husband who is an inspiration to the entire family
Her son, planning refugee camps in Burkina Faso
ithin her first few months as a bartender, she met a man named Mario who was to become her first Husband. Mario came from a family of bootleggers, he was an uneducated but very elegant and Svelte man. According to my dad, “He was the best dancer of the town”. Her life took a sudden turn as major decisions were quickly taken. “We married, I was 18 years old, at 20 I was pregnant and at 21 my first and only son, Yanick was born” she reveals. Within 4 years she had gone from being an average school girl to being engaged and having a son. Back in the 1970s, the average age for women to get married was 23 years old. Hers being a fe w ye a rs e a rl i e r, w a s something a little less common but nothing compared to how rare it is today. Being engaged and having a son was to many women the time to become a typical housewife. Being the independent and determined women she was, she saw this as motivation to push herself to work harder and longer, to be able to grant her child the best possible education.
A different Education For her this education did not necessarily mean, to attend the best school or to be the best at math. It was to teach him everything that was “out there”. That started, with her finding a more inspirational father figure. When my dad turned 4, she had already found
and inspirations was the Journalist, Lise Bissonette “I talked to her many times at work, and she made me want to travel and to discover and to learn” she recounts. As she collected all this inspiration from people at her work, she tried to transfer this passion and knowledge to her son, Yanick. She wanted her son to stay in that world of learning and knowledge gain for as long as possible because that would be key to raising a successful child. As she explains her philosophy: “everything you learn and do is in your mind it can not ever be taken by someone else.” by giving her son all these opportunities that she never got, she was able to increase his chances of going to university and taking his life in hand. She explains that what was motivating her to give him so much was that in the back of her mind, she always thought “he has to go to university”. Never did she think though, that he had to become a lawyer, or a doctor..etc. He had to do what he enjoyed. For her, the best way to do this, was buy providing love and giving him opportunities to do different things and the things she never did. She
“I wanted him to do, what I did not get to do. - Lorraine Michaud that better father figure. She claims that “When he was young I would ‘open doors for him’ so he could see what he liked doing”, she wanted him to know what he could do and be aware of all the possibilities for him that were out there. When she started working in bars and restaurants as a waitress, she was often serving famous business people or journalists. Looking through that small, circular kitchen window at the way they talked and ate, it made her see things differently and want to have more challenges as a mother. One of her biggest role models
explains that the by dropping out of school at an early age, she realized just how powerful knowledge is. As she grew up she faced tough situations like lack of money. One day she had enough, the next it was gone and the knowledge she had gained over the
was more than ready to retire as it meant it was her turn. It was her turn to do the things she never got to do. She could finally gain what she wanted most, knowledge. Throughout her life, she always loved reading and writing and although she took some
One of her biggest Inspirations, Lise Bissonnette years was the only thing that “will alway stay with you, unlike other things”. The Accomplishment As her son was accepted to McGill, she thought to herself “wow, he has everything he needs to face life”. As she had given him the most powerful thing, knowledge and opportunities to do what he loved. All the things she never got and needed, she gave to him. She describes the moment as not just an accomplishment for him, but also one for herself. Back to Power At the age of 65, it was time to put an end to the long and late shifts of working in restaurants and to retire. It was not an easy decision but the date had been written for a while and she
quick lessons to try and improve it, it was never the type of lesson and education she was looking for. When she finally heard about a short course in philosophy at
university air” which described as an “extraordinary feeling”. Although she had always told herself, one day, “I will go back to university”, actually being there was a big step and in a way, a dream come true. 48 years after dropping out of school, here she was, back in that place, at the age of 65. She now continues to live by her philosophy and says yes to everything related to learning. She makes it clear however, that she does it for herself. “I do it for me, not for others, but for me only”. Being someone who never cared about what others had to say, she got married and broke numerous social stereotypes because it meant she could gain knowledge and give it to others and to herself. When asked about what she would tell kids in school today, it was clear that she was talking from self experience.
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All the things I never got and needed, I gave to
him. Laval University, she new it was her chance to get back into the years of education she missed in her life. “As soon as I heard about this, I said yes!” the way she explained the moment, with so much pride and sense of accomplishment, was inspirational, all her life, she had worked hard to provide her son with enough to make it to university and here she was “breathing the
- Lorraine Michaud She would tell them, to “enjoy all that powerful knowledge that is offered to you and to never take all that beautiful knowledge for granted”. As she says, knowledge is beautiful and powerful, and us kids need to realize how grateful we are to be able to attend school and revive the most powerful gift there is, the only thing in this world that will stay with you forever.
Penniless, Perseverant,
Promising A lesson on strengthening one’s moral fibre, taught by boy thriving under the poverty line
T
he cry of a rooster shatters the silence at sunrise in a small, remote village situated in the Chandpur district, Bangladesh. And with it, the eyelids of a fourteen year-old boy open to stare blankly at the rusty sheet of tin that covers the compact shack he shares with his parents and seven siblings. He arises wearing a confusing, yet telling expression on his face - one that embodies the admirable outlook on life he lives by. A pinch of dread for the hardship his daily life presents to him prevails, but it’s neatly contrasted with the fierce determination for an education that he’ll stop at nothing to receive. His name is Mohammed Raihan. He lives a daily life that proves how neediness can be a hindrance to success and happiness, but never a preventer of it. Perhaps a walk through it will demonstrate how:
The Daily Daybreak Voyage Getting to school safely and on time is the first of many trials for Raihan. His house is separated from Rajrajeshwar Omar Ali High School by a dozen kilometers of rural Bangladesh. For him, being picked up by a bus or even cycling to school is your equivalent of taking off in a private helicopter. “Everyday I walk to school,” he explains.
Easy enough? The catch is that school isn’t close. At all. “Getting there takes around two hours. It’s very far.” Shoes, of course, are a luxury; Raihan makes the full trip in ragged sandals, which many of his classmates aren’t fortunate enough to own. The CIA world factbook reports a whopping 47% of Bangladesh’s labour force to still employed by agriculture, and Raihan’s story tells no different. His long walk to school takes him past thousands of rows of pungently perfumed, bright yellow mustard plants and patches of livestock contently roaming about. That is - until he stumbles across the river.
In the middle of his journey lies a vast river, and crossing it no easy feat. “I take the boat when I can, but sometimes they refuse [to take me], or don’t even show up. In that case, I need to instead swim across the river, so I bring an extra set of clothes to change into after the swim”. Truly, Raihan’s commute is the epitome of primitive transportation methods, but it’s not stopping him from going to school. If walking two hours just to get to school every day is a stretch, swimming across a river as well would only have to make you reconsider whether an education is worth it. He walks to school with a long pole in his hand to act as a
Raihan’s commute is the epitome of primitive transportation methods, but it’s not stopping him from going to school. beacon to tie his backpack to. It’s contents stay dry while he’s forced to wade through the murky river that’s in his way from getting the education he’s still determined to receive. By the time Raihan reaches the end of it, he’s drenched in dirty water, but still tied safety to the end of the pole is his school bag containing books and pencils, completely dry. That’s more than enough to satisfy Raihan.
The fuel for a fortunate future School starts at 9 o’clock, and Raihan, after walking (and sometimes swimming) for a couple of hours, arrives on the brink of time. Rajrajeshwar Omar Ali High School is a small institution founded by Omar Ali, my grandfather, and it’s far from the school you may be accustomed to. It comprises of just one small field and five classrooms, all of which hold about 50 students. And with no cafeteria, students often need to last the whole day on just breakfast. Raihan explains, “On days that dad gives me money to buy lunch, I take lunch from vendors outside school. But if he doesn’t, I go hungry for the day.” Yeah, he would likely take serious offence to complaints about Epicure.
A classroom at Rajrajeshwar Omar Ali High
But in a place with people so desperate for an education, these limitations don’t stop the school nothing but a from being blessing - a miracle giving hope to hundreds of desperate, yet budding young villagers that are otherwise destined to be trapped by the poverty cycle like the countless generations that came before them. It’s in the classroom that it becomes evident that Raihan’s just as brilliant as he is underprivileged. “I managed to get a scholarship with hard work. I sat for the PSC exam, and I was able to get some stipend money.” According to Bangladesh’s Directorate of Private education, the Primary Scholarship Certificate exam, or PSC, is an extremely competitive standardized test given annually to young students by the government to compete for scholarships. Every year, the top five percent of students receive stipend money, and in spite of the hardship he faces, Raihan is amongst the exceptionally intelligent students that earned the money. As it turns out, these funds were absolutely necessary for Raihan to cling on to his education. When asked about the greatest difficulties he faces, Raihan says, “My dad wants me to quit school and stay home and help him with work”. But thanks to the well-deserved scholarship, he’ll be staying in school, pursuing his dream. “I want to
An infographic illustrating the life of many Bangladeshi farmers - a life Raihan is motivated to escape (Chronic Poverty Network)
go to Dhaka University and become a marine engineer”, he tells me. “I want to get a job somewhere, not just be a farmer like my dad. I want to escape the village life.” Raihan’s story is beginning to unfold in a rather ironic, yet intriguing way. He lives every moment of every day believing that if he perseveres through this ‘village life’ for long enough, he’ll be presented one day with a ticket to a future void of the hardships he needs to temporarily push through: university. Perhaps, in a way, it’s the dread for his daily hardship that allows him to withstand it.
Time Off It’s 5 o’clock and after a long day of school, Raihan begins to make his way back home. That means another two hours of traversing through fields and roadsides, walking past poverty
that would pain for us to see and do nothing about, as if it’s a regularity to live in such harsh conditions. “By the time I get home, it’s 7:00pm”. When asked what he does in his free time when he gets home - whether watching TV, for an example, is on that list - Raihan seemed surprised, to say the least. “Of course not! We don’t have any TV. We don’t have electricity either, only one solar panel for lights”. In fact, the World Bank reports that only 62% of the population has access to electricity, and only ten years ago, that number was 50%. He explains that playing cricket with his friends is a way to pass time, and that he helps his dad with field work on days that school is off. But his immediate response upon being asked what
his hobbies are is far more intriguing that his unique commute to school, academic excellence, or difficult living conditions. Raihan has a secret passion: growing plants. As he puts it, “I like to grow my own plants, as a hobby”, but not for field work or agriculture. To me, this hobby alone holds a serendipitous symbolic value in a strange, yet beautiful way - a perfect parallel accompaniment to his inspiring story. His plants grow strong in spite of the the at times harsh weather and difficult environment that surround it. It’s constantly surrounded by the countless stalks of chili, jute and mustard that Raihan’s father grows; yet, it has its unique characteristics that make it worth cultivating separately.
“
There will always be problems, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only work very, very, hard and persevere through my hardship Sweet Dreams Soon after getting home, tending to his plants, and eating dinner, Raihan returns to the cushioned block of wood he proudly calls his bed. It’s where he began his difficult, yet rewarding day, and it’s where it’ll end. He dreams that so will all the rest of them, until one day, he’ll find himself in a dorm at Dhaka University. He’ll be the boy who, against all odds, worked hard enough to leave
A Rajrajeshwar Omar Ali High School class photo
”
the poverty cycle and begin training to become a marine engineer. How does he do it? What’s the glue that keeps his life together when his dad can barely afford his education and is pushing him to drop out? When all four of his sister’s are married off? When he spends two hours a day walking to and from school, sometimes needing to swim across a river? When he lives in a small shack with no electricity with nine other family members? When, at the same time, he’s one of the most gifted students in the district? I’m dying to know. And so I ask. “Of course, life is very difficult,” he begins to tell me in Bangla. “There will always be problems, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only work very, very, hard and persevere through my hardship. That’s why I succeed”
By Sajid Farook The Challenge Post November 6 2017
To Whom Much is Given Much is Expected
Service, something we all have to
do and something that most of us look at like a chore instead of an opportunity. As students, we have only ten long boring mandatory hours we are forced to contribute to the community each year. Stuck in dull places and doing work only by requirement. However Al Colella spent his entire life dedicated and in love with what most of us turn our backs to. By Valeria Rubio
Al Colella was set to live a life of doing what he could for others from the start. ?I was in college but I knew that I would have to serve 2 years sooner or later. So I chose to enter the army and I was proud to do so?, he stated as he began talking about start of his adulthood. He was drafted into the army in March of 1953. Being in the military was, ?both an honor and a duty? to Al. Almost a decade later and ?Germany still looked like it had been through a major World War. It made a big impression about the cost of war. Not only in the widespread destruction of cities and towns but also the impact upon the many people who had to experience that war, both in Germany and other troops who were fighting the war against Germany.? Joining the army, putting your life at risk for your country is an honorable and selfless act. It is also eye-opening to what this world is capable of. ?The biggest thing I learned was that war has a terrible
cost, an immeasurable cost to all involved? Al said and he would continue to see this during his life.
1800 Help Hot-line His time in the war and his new understanding of the tragedies many face during life inspired him to continue on his path of service. Al began working with something that hit closer to home. ?I had a family member, one of my 4 daughters, who struggled during life. I understood that many people struggle throughout life and they need a helping hand, a helping voice? he explained. He joined a worldwide organization called Samaritan Hot-line in 1983. Dr. Madelyn Gould of Columbia University found that ?12% of suicidal callers said talking to someone at a suicide Lifeline prevented them from harming or killing themselves?. Although 12% seems to be low that is someone?s life that they were able to
listen to the person making the phone call and to be absolutely non-judgmental about that person. It was extremely energy consuming because you?re focused on the person and their needs.? Overall it was another chance Al took to change someone?s life. Not only did he save hundreds of lives by just taking the time to speak with people but he was also able to learn and grasp a deeper understanding and connection with his own life. ?You learn, you become more aware that life is very special. Life is a gift and it?s not always a gift for a lot of people and we are very fortunate.?
keep living. A suicide hot-line has extreme pressure because people?s lives are in your hands. ?It?s a huge responsibility but it?s also a huge opportunity to be there for someone?, Al commented about dealing with the pressure. Al wasn?t fazed by that and saw the positive affect working with Samaritan had. One of the most memorable moments he said, was spending ?over 18 hours on a phone call with a person who really needed some shoulder to lean on.? However the most important and bottom line of it all Al explained was,?that person moved from being very distraught
"Life is a gift and it?s not always a gift for a lot of people.? about life to maybe life is worth living.? With having so much responsibility came challenges and one of those were the patience and energy required on every call with each person. ?The biggest and most important responsibility is that you
process.?Because I had worked at the Samaritans, I was able to sit down with people who had come out of
"Volunteering was an opportunity to serve"
Ground Zero working on that site,? Al sa . He first got involved through a church group in Rhode Island where he was living. He went up as a member of a church group to do whatever he could to help and explained that, ?given that 9/11 happened and I can?t change that but volunteering was an opportunity to serve.? Al was grateful to be able to help not only Light After 9/11 A new kind of war ?The common element across everything the victims but had just begun Al I?ve gotten involved in was that because I also the people there called it. ?The appreciate how lucky I am, how people also have helped me that I understood like the volunteering, ?It attack on the twin saying says to whom much is given much about towers that was a is expected. I had great people in my life was supporting and different kind of a that lifted me and the moral of that is that advocating and war, that was a war at some point in your life you pass it on and you help others. That has been a key being there for against terrorism,? note of my life.? all the hundreds Al introduced the of people; the September 11 attacks. Al called it ?a firefighters, the construction workers, dirty war?, because it was something the army, FBI. There was an that was beginning to impact the enormous contingent of people who world. During his time in the army he experienced and defined war as worked at Ground Zero.? Al worked armies of one country fighting those with Saint Paul?s Chapel next to of another country. Having worked Ground Zero where they would with Samaritan as well allowed Al to provide meals, a place to sleep or be ready and help with the healing psychiatric counseling.
The War Elephants’ Dream A coach’s mission to transform football in Thailand. Starting first with the youth.
A
s the sun slowly sets below the haze and as the traffic builds up along the street, Andy Clawson stands among his players orchestrating drills and tactics as his players train for their w e e k e n d m a t c h e s . H e ’s demonstrating, directing, but above all, he’s teaching. The game of football or soccer, is synonymous with modern
Thai culture, yet Thailand has failed to represent itself on an international stage. Andy, a football coach in Bangkok, hopes to change that. and bring Thailand’s World Cup dream to a possibility. At first, Andy’s an intimidating character to approach. He stands upright, confident, and stern. But what makes him such a successful coach is his incredible knowledge and
November 6, 2017 By Brandon Lin professionalism. Andy remarks, “My mission is to make every player I coach complete, in all aspects of the game. From skills to nutrition.” And when he coaches, his knowledge and incite is what allows him to build fantastic players. However, what he does off the pitch demonstrates his commitment to transforming Thailand’s youth football.
His Story
FC Bangkok
Andy’s not the likeliest candidate for a youth football coach in Thailand. Born and raised in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Andy has coached since he couldn’t continuing playing at the age of 17.
Then, Andy created FC Bangkok, a youth football club in Thailand emulating clubs in the UK and Europe. FC Bangkok has broken new ground for youth football in Thailand by combining European coaching with both international and Thai players.
When asked about football in his youth, he says, “Football was all young lads did when I grew up. Things were slightly different as we played a lot of street football and didn’t have the facilities that is on offer today,” he recalls, “We all played local football and then went for trials at 13. Here we got selected for regional teams... At 15 we moved into professional club youth systems.” Andy first came to Thailand, around five years ago. “A friend asked me to coach clinics here, and I randomly decided to stay,” he says.
Andy points out,“We have raised the bar with coaching standards for youth players using academy coaches and UEFA licensed staff we are able to replicate elite level training” And as a result, FC Bangkok is arguably the most successful youth football club in Thailand. With numerous tournament successes in Thailand, Asia, and even in Europe.
The Motive Football is an escape route for kids everywhere, especially in developing countries like
Thailand. It’s a dream for children, that they can escape their bleak future for a glorious one. It’s why football is so popular around the world. “I relate to every one of those lads, the dream that one day you can become a pro player,” Andy reflects, “I was very much like them when I was their age growing up in Belfast.”
“The dream that one day you can become a pro player” His Work This newly found success to Thailand’s youth football program is a direct result of the work Andy has put in. But Andy’s more than just a brilliant coach, he’s created the building blocks for European academy-like football in Thailand. Andy’s done much more than just being a fantastic coach. He’s outlined problems in Thailand’s youth football program and has set himself to solve them. “Thailand’s facilities are primarily 7 a side fields. Which limits the growth of players into European academies,” says Andy. Andy’s combatted that by creating the first 11 a side league for youth players in Thailand. Left: Andy and FC Bangkok’s under-16 team competing at Gothia Cup in Sweden.
Left: Andy guest coaching at Real Madrid, a p ro f e s s i o n a l team in Spain
What does it take Andy became a soccer coach when his playing career fell through because of injury and realized that football was his biggest passion. Although coaching often seems like a back up plan for players that don’t make it professionally, Andy demonstrates that it takes more than that to becoming a successful coach. He professionally pressured becoming a coach which he says, “Like most things, you need a passion to become successful, you don’t need to have played at the highest level but you must study the game and coaching methodologies.” Andy’s one of the few youth football coaches in Thailand that hold UEFA licenses. The rest, Andy mentions, “are the other coaches at FC Bangkok.”
“Like most things, you need a passion to become successful, you don’t need to have played at the highest level but you must study the game and coaching methodologies.” Professional Football in Thailand Professionally, Thailand has reintroduced a league system similar to the ones in Europe. In the past, Thailand national team, known as the War Elephants’, has won five ASEAN Football Championship titles and the team has a history as the most successful team in Southeast Asia. Yet, in the last ten years, Thailand’s biggest success has been second place in the ASEAN games.
An article by The Nation reflects on this when it states, “While players and football clubs have improved, management of the two organizations remains unprofessional and there is no transparency.” The article then went on to quote Newin Chidchob, president of Buriram United, one of the largest clubs in Thailand’s professional league. “All decisions [to manage the league] should come from club members, not from the FAT (Football Association of Thailand) or a few people,” says Mr.Chidchob.
Improvement is Evident However, this year, professional soccer in Thailand has done very well. Muangthong United, our local Pak Kret football team in the Thai Premier League played very well. Muangthong United advanced to the quarterfinals of the AFC Champions league, a league where all the top teams in Asia compete together. Muangthong United beat teams from China, Japan, and Saudi Arabia. A very impressive run for a small team from Thailand. Thailand’s national team reached the final stages of qualification for the 2018 World Cup. Although they didn’t achieve the dream of
qualifying for a World Cup, it was the closest yet. An article from Fox Soccer stated, “Kiatisuk Senamuang’s side were the surprise performers in the second round of AFC qualifying for football’s showpiece event. The War Elephants were undefeated in Group F, and impressively held big-hitting Iraq both home and away as they topped the group.”
What’s to come For Andy and FC Bangkok, Andy hopes to build FC Bangkok into a professional adult team. But not just any professional team, one that is just like one in Europe. “My dream is to have a club with a
professional adult team, and a fully functioning European style youth academy in Thailand,” he says, “Of course this will be very difficult, but I think it will be possible.” F o r T h a i l a n d , t h e Wa r Elepahants’ must continue building their team. Perhaps in four years time, some of Andy’s players, like Gunn, will be playing for the national team. The next World Cup in 2022, may finally be Thailand’s time to shine.
HILLTOPSTO HIGH-RISERS Concretejunglesare wheredreamsare madeof asTaniaWaghmareshowsus thereisnothingyoucan't do.
On a cloudy afternoon at the steps of Dhaka University, hunched over a pile of books was Tania Waghmare, a 34-year-old gypsy, mother of two, and a newly admitted university freshman. Hailing from the lush Chittagong Chakma hill tribes, the gray concrete jungle seemed to swallow her up; she wore simple garb, hair loosely tied in a braid trailing down her back. Deep sunken eyes accompanied her smile as she marched up the university steps like any other aspiring student with hopes and dreams of their own. Her modest appearance masked her real story: the one highlighting the decades of toil and hardships faced by this unlikely hero.
WRITTENBY:AVAALAM
Th e Ch it t agon g Ch ild Flashback 20 years to the expansive rolling hills of Chittagong with tea gardens dotted with harvesters and hand-woven pine needle baskets on their backs. This hilly area of immense beauty is home to a total of eleven ethnic tribes, the indigenous people of Bangladesh. Tania Waghmare was born in the largest of these ethnic group, the Chakma tribe. The Chakma tribes are proud people who have held onto their heritage as the majority of the population are subsistence farmers. ?Things were simple yet beautiful back then? states Waghmare. Her childhood memories mostly took place on a slope by the banks of the river as her father, just like the generations before him, farmed and fished while her mother worked in the tea plantations. ?We were proud, simple folk, nothing more,? says Waghmare, laughing as she elaborates about her childhood shenanigans. Th e High Pr ice of Tea Being the oldest of five carried specific responsibilities, and for Waghmare these duties fell upon her from a young age. From 7 years old, she began working after school with her mother, enduring the cuts and snake bites that come with spending long, hot hours in a tea plantation. ?I didn?t mind working in the gardens,? says, Waghmare. ?I would sometimes stuff my pockets with tea leaves when no one was looking.? The late afternoon hours playing in the plantation soon became a full-time job; by the age of 14, Waghmare found herself working almost daily in the tea plantations. ?I think the crops either died or were rotten that year and my father could not sell
them at the market,? recalls Waghmare. ?It falls on the shoulders of the oldest to support their family, and I did what I thought was right.? According to UNICEF and the Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics, there are 3.2 million child laborers in Bangladesh and ages 12-14 work at least 14-28 hours per week. So it began, this new lifestyle for young Waghmare as she toiled away at ten to 12-hour shifts with little breaks in between, earning a mere 82 rupees per hour (1.2 USD). ?It was supposed to be temporary at first? however once she settled into working, she saw how the money she earned helped her family along. She didn't return to school, knowing that her sacrifice would keep her brothers and sisters in school.
"I WASN?TSURPRISED,MANYOFMY FRIENDSWEREALREADYMARRIED," According to the Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics, of those children aged 5-14 working, only 25% continue to attend school at the same time. Child labor is a commonplace phenomenon in Bangladesh; many young children become roadside chai vendors while others weave between cars at stop lights selling cheap goods. Waghmare joined this demographic of young workers, even taking over for her mother 's duties two years later when she fell ill, leaving half of the family?s earning to her. ?Family matters above all else in our culture and you do what you have to for them,? states Waghmare. Th e M ar r iage Com plexit y The weeks before her 17th birthday, Waghmare?s parents approached her with the proposal of marriage; they had arranged a very suitable match to a successful young man in the city. ?I wasn?t surprised, many of my friends were already married,? claims Waghmare. Not only would this catapult her into a world of the unknown, but she would also have to grow accustomed to the new lifestyle with a stranger. Despite not having the chance to meet her husband, Waghmare accepted the offer with little hesitation. "At that moment I decided to leave my whole life behind," recalls Waghmare. Despite never leaving the hills in 17 years, she was now aboard a bus hurtling towards toward the city, towards uncertainty. Now more than ever did her hopes of completing high school seem beyond reach for Waghmare.
Th e Hom e Wit h ou t Hope For the next coming years, Waghmare would give birth to two children, a son and a daughter by the time she turned 20. Waghmare had left comfort and stability back with her family in Chittagong, and she was left to raise two kids on her own in the unforgiving, unfamiliar urban landscape of Dhaka. ?It was all a blur,? says Waghmare. ?I became a mother above everything else; my kids were the priority.? Waghmare?s husband was mostly occupied with his job, traveling around the country and was often not at home. ?When it came to our kids, it was my job,? says Waghmare. ?I loved raising them, but I felt lost in the city.? In a study published by the Scientific Research Publishing Bangladesh, it is common for members of indigenous groups to feel displaced as Dhaka. Not only do they face challenges with the drastic change in environment but endure social exclusion due to their unique ethnic belonging. ?I looked different, so people treated me differently,? says Waghmare, recalling all the instances people sneered and called her out on her ?pale skin and small eyes? and a myriad of other discriminatory slurs. ?I wanted to go back home so many times.? Racial slurs and insults became a daily occurrence for Waghmare. "I realized that people aren?t always very kind? explains Waghmare. "During times like this, maintaining our resolve shows us who we are.? In spite of all the adversity, Waghmare stood her ground and raised her children to reflect her strength and resiliency.
"MAINTAININGOURRESOLVE SHOWSUSWHOWEARE" Th e Dr eam s St u f f Is M ade Of Dhaka is evolving to become a hub for new thinking, and with this comes abandoning restrictive, traditional practices. As the social culture adopts an open-minded outlook, the conservative norms of arranged marriages and women?s limited access to education have declined. According to a study by the Scientific Research Publishing of Bangladesh, the report outlines how the percentage of women undergoing arranged and forced marriages have decreased to a staggering 14.7%. Bangladesh has struggled to overcome many of its stubborn traditional practices, and while this step may be small, it is a step in the right direction. Although the city built many walls around Waghmare, it also tore down the most repressive barrier: the one discouraging Waghmare from finishing her education. "It had been 20 long years; do you know how much time that is?" says Waghmare. "I would tell myself that maybe it was too late.? This gloomy outlook would change one fateful Sunday morning. Th e Su n day M or n in g It was late July she recalls when Waghmare fetched the newspaper from outside her door and sat down with a hot chai in her hand. She glanced over the headings to see if anything perhaps caught her eye and nearing the last page, Waghmare spotted something. "The title was tiny, barely noticeable," recalls, Waghmare. Published on July 17, 2011, the
Daily Star released an article highlighting the reduction in the male to female ratio; that year produced a record number of applicants, female applicants to be specific. Waghmare had grown up with the understanding that her gender, her responsibilities to her family would dictate most, if not all, the opportunities she would be granted in life. "These girls were doing something I had dreamed of doing since I was little," says Waghmare. This moment was a revelation, an epiphany for Waghmare; no longer would she be held back by false notions about what she can and cannot do; no longer would she feel inadequate and robbed of her right to an education. She was empowered to abandon her title of 'the housewife'. ?It was a risk in more ways than one,? claims Waghmare. Yet she knew that the time had finally come for her to attend to some unfinished business. ?I got to be selfish for once,? laughs Waghmare in disbelief. Th e Jou r n ey For w ar d Waghmare is now enrolled at Dhaka University for a bachelor 's degree in education with a side major in history. She plans to return to her village and give back to the young boys and girls the dreams she thought was impossible. ?I only hope that they do not wait as long as I did to go after what they want because we are all fortunate enough to live in a time where anything is possible.?
Married at First Sight Indian Arranged Marriage Up Close
I
watched for hours. The artist poised and graceful; gentle strokes of intricate detail; my eyes beginning to slip in and out of focus. With every flower only a slight reminder of the rich culture that exists beyond my line of vision. I never completely understood how someone could sit so still for an unsettling eight hours as someone drew all over their arms and feet. As the deep maroon set in so did the fact that my cousin would be married the next morning. Only five years before we sat side by side giggling uncontrollably at somebody else’s wedding-ditching our heels under one of the tables and eating more then we should have. I knew nothing of the man she was bound to promise her life to the following day, and as far as I knew, neither did she. How? You may ask. How on earth would someone be able to promise their life to an individual they had only heard of. The day had arrived. I sat there craning my neck to see my stunning cousin gliding across the dance floor, her eyes dazzling. A woman, who I’m sure I was related to tapped me briskly on the shoulder and beamed, “I can’t wait for your wedding.” It was then that I realized the thought had gone through the minds of many of my relatives. Not knowing what to say I laughed understanding that denying wanting an Indian wedding could almost seem ignorant and rude. Arranged marriage is a tradition that has surpassed the trials of time in India. It holds a special place in the hearts of many. That’s when I decided to peer through this curtain which hid away the secrets of one of the most common Indian traditions. To do so I spoke to my aunt Upasna and her daughter Kritika, both going through with arranged marriage at different points in time.
Kritika with her husband and family as they said goodbye. Mother, Upasna, in the center.
Kritika only three short months ago, at 28 years old. You would think that a tradition that promotes a family giving away their daughter would counter the improvements made for women in India. An increasing literacy rate of 30.62% in 1991 to 57.93% in 2011. According to the Human Development Data, schooling years for girls which once barely hit 6.4 in 1990 have now reached 11.9 hours in 2011. Now this doesn’t mean that problems relating to inequality cease to exist but changes are being made. I watched as my aunt, Upasna Suri, handed her daughter the red sari she wore on her wedding day, tears of melancholy sadness trickling down her cheek. I had to ask why she believed in arranged marriage. And her answer took me by surprise. “It is tradition. When I was married, I never questioned the system. Girl’s have always been taught to be open to compromise. If I could’ve been married by choice, maybe I would have. I think Kritika’s marriage was different.”
Carrying on Tradition
She was married in 1989, a time when the idea of “right or refusal” What are these differences? As far as I had just been brought to the table. could tell there was a lot in common. The rate of sex-selective abortions in Kritika was married to a man named India at this time was high. When Jaideep a few months after they had met. parents wrap their baby in a pink The wedding took place in Chicago, a blanket, they already begin searching plane ride away from New York, the for suitors. The cost of an Indian place she had called home. Only wedding for a woman is immense. graduating with a Masters from The dowry stems or the Columbia a year before, “present” a bride will she was offered a position at Coke as a “I would’ve liked to award her husband's chemical engineer. A job meet my husband before f a m i l y i n c l u d e s which would involve marriage. It can often be diamonds and gems. “My family spent years traveling the world. “I saving up for these wouldn’t say marriage a gamble.” gifts.” Additionally, altered my aspirations there is this fear of the inbut simply slowed them down”, Kritika laws which snakes just beneath the remarks. The same was true for Upasna. surface. Something usually the female She had quit her job as a teacher in India in the relationship will feel as the to move into her husband’s home. “It’s husband is painted as being powerful the girl who must move, unfortunately, and more or less in control of the it’s just the way it has always been.” It relationship. wasn’t until I pressed further that she elaborated. Questionable Tradition
Kritika and her husband’s first dance after the ceremony.
Upasna had met her husband Anil once before they promised their lives to each other, a commitment that is never taken lightly no matter the culture. Before she knew it her wedding was over and she was moving away from her childhood home to her husband's abode. To my surprise she stated, “I would’ve liked to meet my husband before marriage. This allows one to find someone of their caliber. It can often be a gamble.”
As Upasna sat there I noticed her eyes trailing off as she delved deeper into the retelling of wedding stories. One tradition in particular caught my attention. The bride changing her last name to that of her husband’s is common in western culture and in most cases isn’t given much thought. In Indian arranged marriages the bride will change her last name as well as her first. The identification bestowed upon her as a child is wiped clean. The wife’s name is decided by combining her and her husband’s astrological charts. And that isn’t it. If the bride has a middle name she will change that to match her husband’s first name.
“I was Sumen before marriage. I think it is believed the girl changing her name represents a strong bond between the husband and wife. To be honest I don’t understand it.” I found out later that my cousin’s story was quite different.
opportunity. Government run schools available for girls are popping up across the country.
Self-Arranged Marriage
Oftentimes parents will not pay large sums of money for their daughter’s education. According to Liz Willen, writer for the Atlantic, lunch, books, and sanitary napkins are free at these schools. The right to education act was passed in 2009 and aims to put all children 6-14 in school. Around 50% of students in India are enrolled in these schools. There are many systems in place. What stops these girls from taking advantage of these opportunities is often parental pressure or external force exerted from those who hold the power within a family. To older generations women’s goals include two simple things: marriage and children. The end. But it isn’t. It is key to continue to work against these societal norms and barriers that restrict young women from going beyond what is expected; making decisions for themselves. Maybe this could start with marriage. Arranged matrimony is deeply rooted in the lives of so many, it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. This doesn’t mean that it will not undergo change and adaptation. Kritika’s wedding is a great example. Both Kritika and her mother are strong advocates for women’s rights and have taken a twist on this age old tradition.
Although her husband’s family would not admit to it, they had been seeing each other years before. The tradition is so deeply rooted in the family. The couple had met and brought the idea of an arranged marriage up to their parents. Some call this a “self arranged marriage”. A concept just recently catching a glimpse of the light of day. Arranged or not, the two would’ve been married. They chose this type of matrimony because of this belief that it will improve marital stability, wishes for the future, and create this interconnection between families. “I feel very happy and blessed that I get to marry my friend and not a stranger”, Kritika comments, beaming. Her parents had taken a modern approach. At her wedding, the dowry system was present but more westernized. Both Kritika and her husband exchanged gifts, eliminating this burden that once fell solely on the bride to be. Additionally, Kritika remains Kritika, the same girl who taught me the importance of work ethic and bravery. Characteristics that radiated from her as she entered the wedding surrounded by guests dancing in the street. “Older generations are just stuck in that traditional lifestyle”, Upasna exclaims reflecting on her culture. The Indian government has taken huge leaps in providing girls with
Gender Inequity
“In college, I majored in math and engineering. I guess you could say you don’t see this too often. I arranged my own marriage, that too. Great things are happening for girls.”