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What happens when there’s no client brief and the only person you have to please is yourself? 10 Commercial creatives cut loose. September 2016 at Depot Artspace
$15.00 All proceeds to The Youth Suicide Prevention Project
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Whitecliffe is an award-winning tertiary arts and design education specialist.
TANYA MARTUSHEFF
FOUNDATION FINE ARTS PHOTO MEDIA GRAPHIC DESIGN FASHION DESIGN ARTS MANAGEMENT ARTS THERAPY SHORT COURSES
(evening, weekend, school holidays)
www.whitecliffe.ac.nz 2
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Restless creative minds gravitate towards advertising, design and the uncertain world of commercial creative life… to be not only creative but also ‘a creative’. It can be richly rewarding and enormous fun, but it can also challenge and repress delicate, artistic temperaments. The process of conceiving ideas to a deadline can be brutal. Sometimes you must synchronise with a multiplicity of disciplines and rely on business people whose taste and understanding of new ideas can be ‘iffy’ on a good day and downright off on the balance. Brilliant concepts can be diluted, bastardised and sometimes betrayed by people with misaligned agendas. The talents showing their work in the Escape Artists exhibition may have seen it all. Some began their careers long before the digital era - when craft skills Gutenberg would recognise were still being used - like hand-rendered visualisations to convey ideas to clients and letterpress printing. Most segued to digital, adapting and embracing the changes and opportunities afforded by the arrival of the Macintosh. These days commercial creativity is increasingly intertwined with technology. Projects can be completed easily by individuals that, in the past would have required a host of specialists. It is possible to design, write and distribute ideas across the world with little more than a laptop and a web connection. At the other end of the spectrum are complex campaigns that require dozens of skills, from concept to code, created by the kind of plastic minds that embrace innovation as well as craft.
The unifying theme of all of the participants is their love of ‘the big idea’ and recognition of the crafts that realise novel concepts. Many have escaped the advertising and design related businesses completely. Others remain in a low orbit, still attracted by the gravitational pull exerted by their love of craft and new opportunities to contribute their skill and talent. All seek an escape in their art practice, enjoying the freedom to express their ideas, experiment, perfect technique and to restlessly create stuff - because it’s innate… even when the only reward is the work itself. As a footnote and counterpoint we’ve included an essay by Linds Redding, former adman, penned just before his death. It is beautifully observed and shows the polymath nature of so many creatives - Linds could not only make you laugh at a commercial for lollipops, but also the futility and vanity of the thing you thought you loved - your own creative ego. Each of the Escape Artists have contributed a selection of their work for this publication along with a brief insight into the origins of their creative practices and a little advice for young people planning careers in the creative sector.
Artists’ work featured with permission. Each of the artists featured in this publication retain all rights to their own work, which may not be reproduced without express permission.
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Grant Alexander Since 1966 I have been into design up to my eyeballs. It’s unlikely I will ever get out. Along the way I have worked alongside many clever advertising types. Writers, art directors, photographers, illustrators. Most of them didn’t wear as much black and never took themselves as seriously as many of those design types you see haunting cafés these days. How I got in? When I started out design needed all the advertising help it could get. It was a sideline craft best practiced by architects, engineers and advertising types in their spare time. Then along came Apple and the rest is history. Good design had gone mainstream. And once good design is complete we need good advertising to tell the world all about it. When somebody recently said we should not fear housing intensification in Auckland we should fear bad design they summed up why good design matters. Advice for young creatives entering the field of commercial creativity: Don’t waste time polishing a bad idea. Even if your technical skills are mouth-wateringly good. Better to present a good idea simply. Or even better - share it with somebody else and watch it get better still.
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Copy of a copy of a copy Mixed media 400mm x 600mm
Breadboard Art Mixed media 280mm circumference
Plain to See Mixed Media 137mm x 43mm
Look at me look at me Mixed media 400mm x 300mm
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Peter Burt
Peter is an ex art/creative director now in a semi-retired mode but still doing freelance projects that come along. He has created a series of hand-finished cards featuring NZ native species in a stylised way which sell very well and these are content for his exhibition works. Peter’s history in advertising was the era when hand-executed visuals and ideas were the order of the day and his abilities were sought after. Although those days are over Peter has embraced the computer age and works comfortably in the Macintosh environment. ‘I left school and joined J Inglis Wright in Dunedin as a layout/copywriter junior. The managing director liked my ability and suggested I move to head office in Wellington. There I met some brilliant visualisers/art directors imported from London. They shaped the way I was going to work for all my agency days. Then came Campaign, a small creative group that merged with Dormer Beck in Auckland making it one of NZ’s bigger ‘shops’. I joined the board in 1978. And In the 80s Saatchi acquired us and a new era began. At the end of the earn-out from Saatchi I left to start my own design group B&H Design. I sold my share from this in the mid 90s.’
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New Zealand Tui and Flax Watercolour
Shore, Sea and Swamp Birds Watercolour
CHES AND DALE Ches and Dale were characters that caught the attention of all New Zealanders in the 1970s with a catchy, foot-stompin’ ‘down on the farm - we really know our cheese’ jingle and animated ad. Everyone loved them and would sing along with the commercial. Ches and Dale made Chesdale cheese slices part of our vernacular. Peter Burt drew this original illustration as a part of a series of from the 80s for a collectable card series.
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Alistair Guthrie Really I am the interloper of this group as I am still in, I haven’t escaped because it’s still fun inside. I got in (to photography) via the fortunate lottery of birth - my dad was a ‘snapper’ in Taranaki. That gave me access to cameras, darkrooms and knowledge. So here I am still creating (pixels now). I think I’m just getting started. I have a lot more to say and do. Advice for young creatives entering the field of commercial creativity: Be sure to take advice, soak it all in, but beat your own drum & make it fun. If it’s not…go for a surf.
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Brian Harrison
I first trained as a typographer, then got into commercial art after seeing a life drawing class at AUT. I remember one assignment was to do a nude study at home. As I didn’t have a girlfriend willing to pose naked I chose a well endowed and beautiful girl from Playboy magazine (artistically posed). I got good marks. “Well done Brian...” commented the tutor. “Now tell me...Is that your girlfriend?” “Yes.” I honestly lied. Most of my training was on the job, doing storyboards and layouts for senior art directors in ad agencies. If you didn’t develop a fast style it meant long nights. Conveying the idea was more important than the technique. Which is why this assignment makes me nervous. But hey, it’s a great chance to catch up with some old mates and do my bit for the cause.
Recycled 10 pin skittle in naive style Mixed media High Street Commercial project Mixed media
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Josh Lancaster
Josh Lancaster is a young Auckland artist whose artistic endeavours are winning plaudits similar to those he received as one of New Zealand’s top young advertising creatives. In 2015, he decided to leave a successful career to follow his dream of being an artist. His bold lines and saturated colour make for distinctive, original artworks including depictions of some of Auckland’s more quirky landmarks. The Regulars, his first solo show opened in July at Ponsonby’s Smyth Gallery. More of his work can be found at the gallery or by searching for Josh Lancaster Paintings on Facebook. How I got in? I met my career-long creative partner Jamie Hitchcock at design school in Wellington in 1998. We were offered jobs at Clemenger BBDO after Jamie worked on a student brief for a drink-driving campaign. I think we were hired so Clemenger could recoup costs after the resulting lawsuit, involving a large New Zealand brewery. How I got out? In 2008 I started painting at night out in the shed, the idea being it would be a nice antidote to the stuff I was doing during the day. It got a bit bigger than I had ever anticipated and in 2015 I left advertising to give painting full-time a go. Advice for young creatives entering the field of commercial creativity: Find people you love and respect and work your arse off for them.
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The Milk Bar Acrylic on Canvas 760 x 760mm
Late for the Ferry Acrylic on Canvas 1220 x 920mm.
Devo Acrylic on Canvas 760 x 760mm
Calliope Sea Scouts Acrylic on Canvas 1220 x 920mm
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Tony McNeight I live in Devonport, where I grew up. I am still working as a creative for clients here and in Australia. I am also a passionate travel sketcher and teacher plus a children’s book illustrator and a commissioned painter. In 2015 I created the Giant Poppy Art Project in the Auckland Domain where 59,000 red metal discs were written on with heartfelt messages and placed in a Poppy shape the size of a football field. In 1972 I graduated from what was then ATI with a graphic art diploma. After working for some small obscure companies I landed a job as a junior creative at G/S/I advertising. From there I was lured to Colenso on a fat salary and fatter accounts where art directors had a relatively free run creatively. I then travelled to London to ‘hone’ my creative craft and came back and set up my own design company (all pre-computer). After 15 years of self-employment I was offered a creative partnership with a large independent design company where I worked till being bought out by another even larger company. I still retain some clients from this time. Advice for young creatives entering the field of commercial creativity: Creativity is a wonderful gift to be acknowledged and nurtured. With so many new media platforms to showcase creativity today, it’s an exciting time for young people in the communications business but try not to let the ’tools’ drive you. The ‘big idea’ is still, and will always be, the key to giving you the edge in a competitive marketplace. It’s not easy out there. Listen and be open to advice from older and wiser campaigners. You may just learn something new and interesting.
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‘Extinct Moa’ Pen and watercolour Size 280 x 240mm
Pohutukawa Acrylic and oil pastel Size 1500 x1500mm
Red`s Green car Pen and watercolour Size 280 x 240 mm
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By day I still earn my living helping people
Later I created a kind of cookie cutter TV ad
and brands to tell their stories. By night
model (Family Health Diary etc), to eliminate
I make pictures. My work is digital, but
the fancy ‘creative’ bit, possibly. I got really
it is lovingly hand carved from pixels, by
into technology at the start of the millennium
candlelight, with pixel carving tools.
but started a magazine called Idealog to learn about publishing instead. You leave main-
David MacGregor
As a kid I thought I’d be a graphic designer
stream ad agency life but still ‘join the dots’
- whatever that meant. But being the best
in different ways to civilians. Your skills are
in high school still didn’t make me good
reassigned to new areas, rather than truly
enough to earn a place in design school.
‘escaping’ - it’s a bit like the Hotel California -
I accidentally fell into the ad course at ATI.
you can never leave.
Later I found a production job in an ad
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agency, in-spite of my Mohawk ‘barnett’
Advice for young creatives entering the
and not having parents in the business.
field of commercial creativity:
By night I created ideas for my company’s
Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer and don’t be
clients. I left them lying around the office.
afraid to say ‘no’. Don’t fear giving up early
I was earnestly waiting to be ‘discovered’
(sometimes surrender is an option and a better
as ‘creative’ - the cleaners threw most of
one at that). Half of life is improvising. The
them out…and rightly so.
other half you have to make up as you go.
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Roy Meares After spending three years at art school near Liverpool my Dad said I ‘needed to get a job!’ So I spent time in a couple of dead loss ad agencies in Liverpool with a plan to hopefully break into the London scene when I had something to show. But first I wanted a brief holiday in New Zealand visiting my family who had moved there in the mid sixties. After a spell painting schools on the South Island’s West Coast I tried for a job in a tiny agency in darkest Palmerston North, won my first award then got snapped up by a very cool Auckland shop, MacHarman. The rest, as they say, is ..... Advice for young creatives getting into commercial creativity: Absorb all you can from the best there is. Then never settle for Bronze.
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Rita Angus - ‘Cas’ 750 x 750 mm
David Hockney ‘A bigger splash’
Frida Kahlo 180x 140 mm
Edward Hopper ‘The house by the tracks’ 750 x 750 mm
750 x 750 mm
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Fraser Williamson 20
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The Hunt 2010 Acrylic on Board 500 x 1000 mm
Wildness 2015 Acrylic on Board 600 x 400 mm
I drift in and out of advertising as I am not strictly an advertising person. My association has been as an illustrator who has worked on various campaigns. Perhaps the most notable was the last generation of Anchor milk labels. Various dairies around New Zealand still have a scary looking cow or bull staring down from the window. I have been commissioned by other members of the exhibition group over the years and so was invited by them to participate. I studied Graphic Design at what was then the Auckland Technical Institute and is now AUT. I then proceeded to play bass guitar in a few bands, train as a psychiatric nurse and work as a secondary school art and art history teacher. I worked as warehouseman at Penguin Books for a couple of years which led me, in a circuitous way, back to art. I became one of the designers and illustrators at the Pacific Island Resource Centre and from there began to illustrate children’s books. This in turn led to my doing my first exhibition of paintings for the Flagstaff Gallery in Devonport where I have been exhibiting ever since.
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Scott Wilson Scott Wilson is a Devonport-based artist working primarily in charcoal to produce high-contrast drawings of subjects that interest him. Taking art at school and looking for an avenue for my drawing and design skills, I enrolled at ATI (as it was known in those days) for their graphic design course. I worked at a couple of design studios before picking up a lot of storyboarding work for Auckland advertising agencies. I found a niche freelancing in-house, first for McHarman advertising with Bob Harvey, before relocating to Saatchi & Saatchi where I freelanced for 20 years. The need for storyboards has waned over the years as digital communication in its various forms has gradually overtaken traditional media. I found I needed to diversify into other areas: Illustration, branding and cartooning, which I now mix with my renewed passion for drawing. I guess you could say I’ve come full circle back to my childhood love of drawing things. Advice for young creatives getting into commercial creativity: You must be passionate and perseverance is the key. Get your work out there any way you can and make contacts with people who can help you along the way.
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Flora Charcoal on paper 2014 He-Man Charcoal on paper 2014
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A Short Lesson in Perspective Linds Redding was one of the most respected creative talents in New Zealand advertising. He is familiar to Devonport locals as the chap behind The Department of Doing then The Department of Motion Graphics.
We’ll spare
you his credits; they were many but, as you’ll learn from this arch tale, they weren’t really what mattered to him.
He shares his thoughts
on the enterprise that consumed his attention most of his working life. The story is from his blog, written in the year between his diagnosis and death. It subsequently became something of a viral sensation on the web. You can still read it at LindsRedding.com
Linds Redding
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Many years ago, when I first started to work
surveying the fruits of our labour. Usually
Exciting new tools. Endless new possibilities.
in the advertising industry, we used to have
about a third of the ‘ideas’ came down
Pressing new deadlines. With the new digital
this thing called The Overnight Test.
straight away, before anyone else wan-
tools at our disposal we could romp over
It worked like this: my creative partner
dered past. It’s remarkable how something
the creative landscape at full tilt. Have an
Laurence and I would spend the day
that seems either arse-breakingly funny
idea, execute it and deliver it in a matter of
covering A2 sheets torn from layout pads
or cosmically profound in the white heat
a few short hours. Or at least a long night.
with ideas for whatever project we were
of its inception can mean absolutely nothing
At first it was a great luxury. We could cover
currently engaged upon – an ad for a
in the cold light of morning. By mid-morn-
so much more ground. Explore all the angles.
new gas oven, tennis racket or whatever.
ing coffee, the creative department was
And having exhausted all the available
Scribbled headlines. Bad puns. Stick-men
coming back to life, and we participated in
possibilities, craft a solution we could have
drawings crudely rendered in fat black
the daily ritual of wandering around the airy
complete faith in.
Magic Marker. It was a kind of brain dump
Georgian splendour of our Edinburgh offices
I suppose. Everything that tumbled out
critiquing each team’s crumpled creations.
quickly realised, we could just do three
of our heads and mouths was committed
It wasn’t brutal or destructive. Creative
times as many jobs in the same amount of
to paper. Anything that was completely
people are, on the whole, fragile beings;
time, and make them three times as much
ridiculous, irrelevant or otherwise unwork-
letting each other down gently and quietly
money. For the same reason that jumbo jets
able was filtered out as we worked, and by
was the unwritten rule. Sometimes just a
don’t have the grand pianos and palm-court
beer o’clock there would be an impressive
blank look or a scratched head was enough
cocktail bars we were originally promised
avalanche of screwed-up paper filling the
to see a candidate quietly pulled down and
in the brochures, the accountants naturally
corner of the room where our comically
consigned to the bin. Something considered
won the day.
undersized waste-bin resided.
particularly ‘strong,’ witty or clever would
On a productive day, aside from
Or, as the bean counters upstairs
Pretty soon, The Overnight Test
elicit cries of “Hey, come and see what the
became The Over Lunch Test. Then before
the mountain of dead trees (recycling hadn’t
boys have come up with!” Our compadres
we knew it, we were eating pot-noodles at
been invented in 1982), stacked polystyrene
would pile into our cramped room to offer
our desks, and taking it in turns to go home
coffee cups and an overflowing ashtray,
praise or constructive criticism. That was
and see our kids before they went to bed.
there would also be a satisfying thick sheaf
always a good feeling. This human powered
As fast as we could pin an idea on the wall,
of ‘concepts’. Some almost fully formed
bullshit filter was a handy and powerful tool.
some red-faced account manager in a bad
and self-contained ideas. Others misshapen
Inexpensive, and practically foolproof. Not
suit would run away with it. Where we used
and graceless fragments, but harbouring
much slipped through the net. I’m quite
to rely on taking a break and ‘stretching
perhaps the glimmer of a smile or a grain
sure architects, musicians, mathematicians
the eyes’ to allow us to see the wood from
of human truth that had won its temporary
and cake decorators all have an equivalent
the trees. (Too many idioms and similes?
reprieve from the reject pile. Before trotting
time-honed protocol.
Probably) we now fell back on experience
off to Clark’s Bar to blow the froth off a pint
But here’s the thing.
and gut-feel. It worked most of the time,
of ‘Eighty-Bob’, our last task was to pin
The Overnight Test only works if
but nobody is infallible. Some howlers and
everything up on the walls of our office.
you can afford to wait overnight. To sleep
growlers definitely made it through, and
on it. Time moved on, and during the 90s
generally standards plummeted.
the next morning at the crack of 10 we’d
technology overran and transformed the
reconvene in our workroom and sit quietly
creative industry like it did most others.
the benefit of hindsight, is that we became
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Hangovers not withstanding,
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The other consequence, with
more conservative. Less likely to take creative
pin-head (too many again?), the view back
drive themselves. Just wind ’em up and let
risks and rely on the tried and trusted.
down from six months is quite giddying.
’em go.
The familiar is always going to research
And sobering.
better than the truly novel. Research
was the new god. The trick to being truly
different from the outside. And here’s the
motivated by money. That’s why so few
creative, I’ve always maintained, is to be
thing. It turns out I didn’t actually like my old
of us have any. The riches we crave are
completely unselfconscious. To resist the
life nearly as much as I thought I did.
acknowledgment and appreciation of the
urge to self-censor. To not-give-a-shit what
I know this now because I occasionally
ideas that we have and the things that we
anybody thinks. That’s why children are so
catch up with my old colleagues and work-
make. A simple but sincere ‘That’s quite
good at it. And why people with Volkswagens,
mates. They fall over each other to enthusi-
good’ from someone who’s opinion we
and mortgages, Personal Equity Plans and
astically show me the latest project they’re
respect (usually a fellow artisan) is worth
matching Louis Vuitton luggage are not.
working on. Ask my opinion. Proudly show
infinitely more than any pay-rise or bonus.
Thinking out loud takes a certain
My old life looks, and feels, very
2. Truly creative people tend not to be
off their technical prowess (not inconsider-
Again, our industry masters cleverly exploit
amount of courage and is best done in a
able). I find myself glazing over but politely
this insecurity and vanity by offering
safe and nurturing environment. Creative
listen as they brag about who’s had the
glamorous but worthless trinkets and
departments and design studios used to
least sleep and the most takeaway food.
elaborately-staged award schemes to keep
be such places, where you could say and
‘I haven’t seen my wife since January, I
the artists focused and motivated. Like so
do just about anything creatively speaking,
can’t feel my legs any more and I think I
many demented magpies we flock around
without fear of ridicule or judgement. It has
have scurvy but another three weeks and
the shiny things and would peck each
to be this way, or you will just close up like
we’ll be done. It’s got to be done by then,
other’s eyes out to have more than anyone
a clamshell. It’s like trying to have sex, with
the client’s going on holiday. What do I
else. Handing out the odd gold statuette is
your mum listening outside the bedroom
think?. What do I think?
a whole lot cheaper than dishing out stock
door. Can’t be done. Then some bright
I think you’re all fucking mad. Deranged. So
certificates or board seats.
spark had the idea of setting everyone up
disengaged from reality it’s not even funny.
in competition. It became a contest. A race.
It’s a fucking TV commercial. Nobody gives
3. The compulsion to create is unstoppable.
Winner gets to keep his job.
a shit. This has come as quite a shock I can
It’s a need that has to be filled. I’ve barely
tell you. I think I’ve come to the conclusion
‘worked’ in any meaningful way for half a
from the same affliction. Our technology
that the whole thing was a bit of a con.
year, but every day I find myself driven to
whizzes along at the velocity of a speeding
A scam. An elaborate hoax.
‘make’ something. Take photographs. Draw.
electron, and our poor overtaxed neurons
Write. Make bad music. It’s just an itch than
Now of course we are all suffering
The scam works like this:
struggle to keep up. Everything has become
1. The creative industry operates largely by
a split-second decision. Find something
holding ‘creative’ people ransom to their
occasional severed ear or descent into
you like. Share it. Have a half-baked
own self-image, precarious sense of self-
fecal-eating dementia, the creative impulse
thought. Tweet it. Don’t wait. Don’t hesitate.
worth, and fragile – if occasionally out of
is mostly little more than a quaint eccentricity.
Seize the moment. Keep up. There will be
control – ego. We tend to set ourselves
But introduce this mostly benign neurosis
plenty of time to repent later. Oh, and just
impossibly high standards, and are invariably
into a commercial context.. well that way,
to cover your ass, don’t forget to stick a
our own toughest critics. Satisfying our own
my friends, lies misery and madness.
smiley face on the end just in case you’ve
lofty demands is usually a lot harder than
overstepped the mark.
appeasing any client, who in my experience
This hybridisation of the arts and business
tend to have disappointingly low expec-
is nothing new of course – it’s been going
is a good thing. And sadly missed. A week-
tations. Most artists and designers I know
on for centuries – they have always been
end is even better, and as they fell by the
would rather work all night than turn in a
uncomfortable bed-fellows. But even artists
wayside, they were missed too. “If you don’t
sub-standard job. It is a universal truth that
have to eat, and the fuel of commerce and
come in on Saturday, don’t bother turning
all artists think they are frauds and char-
industry is innovation and novelty. Hey!
up on Sunday!” as the old ad joke goes.
latans; they live in constant fear of being
Let’s trade. ‘Will work for food!’ as the
exposed. We believe that by working harder
street-beggar’s sign says.
would be an unreasonable luxury. I’ve now
than anyone else we can evade detection.
‘enjoyed’ the better part of six months of
The bean-counters rumbled this centuries
undoing of many great artists, many more
enforced detachment from my old reality.
ago and have been profitably exploiting this
journeymen and more than a few of my
When you’re used to turning on a six-
weakness ever since. You don’t have to
good friends. Add to this volatile mixture
pence, shooting from the hip, dancing on a
drive creative folk like most workers. They
the powerful accelerant of emerging
So. To recap, The Overnight Test
A week would be nice. A month
needs to be scratched. Apart from the
This Faustian pact has been the
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digital technology and all hell breaks
But in it’s own way it is dangerous and
myself that there was nowhere I’d rather
loose. What I have witnessed happening
demanding work. And as, I’ve said, the
be was just a coping mechanism. I can see
in the last 20 years is the aesthetic equiva-
rewards tend to be vanishingly small.
that now. It wasn’t really important. Or of
lent of the Industrial Revolution in the 19th
Plastic gold statuette anyone? I’ve seen
any consequence at all really. How could
century. The wholesale industrialization and
quite a few creative drones fall by the
it be? We were just shifting product. Our
mechanisation of the creative process. Our
wayside over the years. Booze mostly.
product, and the clients. Just meeting the
ad agencies, design groups, film and music
Drugs occasionally. Anxiety. Stress. Broken
quota. Feeding the beast as I called it on
studios have gone from being cottage
marriages. Lots of those. Even a couple of
my more cynical days.
industries and guilds of craftsmen and
suicides. But mostly just people tempera-
women, essentially unchanged from the
mentally and emotionally ill-equipped for such
middle-ages, to dark satanic mills of mass
a hostile and toxic environment. Curiously,
production. Ideas themselves have become
there never seems to be any shortage of
Well of course not. It turns out it was just
just another disposable commodity to be
eager young worker drones queuing up to
advertising. There was no higher calling.
supplied to order by the lowest bidder. As
try their luck, although I detect that even
No ultimate prize. Just a lot of faded, yel-
soon as they figure out a way of outsourcing
their bright-eyed enthusiasm is starting to
lowing newsprint, and old video cassettes
thinking to China they won’t think twice.
wane. Advertising was the sexy place to be in
in an obsolete format I can’t even play any
Believe me.
the eighties. The Zeitgeist has move on. And
more, even if I was interested. Oh yes, and
so have most of the bright-young-things.
a lot of framed certificates and little gold
artists and artisans? Well, up a watercolour
statuettes. A shit-load of empty Prozac
of shit creek without a paintbrush. That
Well it was a close shave. Very close. And
boxes, wine bottles, a lot of grey hair and a
one thing that we prize and value above
while on the inside I am indeed a ‘delicate
tumour of indeterminate dimensions.
all else – the idea – turns out to be just
flower’ as some Creative Director once wry-
another plastic gizmo or widget to be
ly observed, I have enjoyed until recently,
for myself again. I’m not. It was fun for
touted and traded. And to add insult to
the outward physical constitution and rude
quite a lot of the time. I was pretty good at
injury we now have to create them not in
heath of an ox. I mostly hid my insecurity
it. I met a lot of funny, talented and clever
our own time, but according to the quota
and fear from everyone but those closest
people, got to become an overnight expert
and the production schedule. “We need six
to me, and ran fast enough that I would
in everything from shower-heads to sheep-
concepts to show the client first thing in
never be found out. The other thing I did, I
dip, got to scratch my creative itch on a
the morning, he’s going on holiday. Don’t
now discover, was to convince myself that
daily basis, and earned enough money to
waste too much time on them though, it’s
there was nothing else, absolutely nothing, I
raise the family which I love, and even see
only meeting-fodder. He’s only paying for
would rather be doing. That I had found my
them occasionally.
one so they don’t all have to be good, just
true calling in life, and that I was unbeliev-
knock something up. You know the drill. Oh,
ably lucky to be getting paid – most of the
of perspective, is anything of any lasting
and one more thing. His favourite colour
time – for something that I was passionate
importance. At least creatively speaking.
is green. Rightho! See you in the morning
about, and would probably be doing in
Economically I probably helped shift some
then… I’m off to the Groucho Club.”
some form or other anyway.
merchandise. Enhanced the bottom line
for a few companies. Helped make one or
So where does that leave the
Have you ever tried to have an
So how did I survive for 30 years?
It turns out that my training and
So, was it worth it?
It sounds like I’m feeling sorry
But what I didn’t do, with the benefit
idea? Any idea at all, with a gun to your
experience had equipped me perfectly for
two wealthy men a bit wealthier than they
head? This is the daily reality for the
this epic act of self-deceit. This was my gig.
already were.
creative drone. And when he’s done, some-
My shtick. Constructing a compelling and
time in the wee small hours, he then has to
convincing argument to buy, from the thinnest
good idea at the time.
face his two harshest critics. Himself, and
of evidence was what we did. “Don’t sell
everyone else. “Ah. Sorry. Client couldn’t
the sausage. Sell the sizzle” as we were
The Overnight Test.
make the meeting. I faxed your layouts to
taught at ad school.
Pity.
him at his squash club. He quite liked the
green one. Apart from the typeface, the
ends, holidays, birthdays, school recitals
sitting in some darkened studio or edit
words, the picture and the idea. Oh, and
and anniversary dinners were willingly
suite agonizing over whether housewife ‘A’
could the logo be bigger? Hope it wasn’t
sacrificed at the altar of some intangible but
should pick up the soap powder with her
a late night. Thank God for computers eh?
infinitely worthy higher cause. It would all
left hand or her right, do yourself a favour.
Right-ho! I’m off to lunch.”
be worth it in the long run…
Power down, lock up, go home and kiss
your wife & kids.
Alright, it’s not bomb disposal.
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A R T I S T S
Countless late nights and week-
This was the con. Convincing
As a life, it all seemed like such a But I’m not really sure it passes
Oh. And if your reading this while
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Machinarts.com
See pages 14-15 for further evidence. Correspond mac@davidmacgregor.com
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5#
Individual Salesperson for North Shore *. *
Year ending 31st March 2016
As a third generation Devonport resident, Trish has been helping vendors to make their next move for the past 14 years. If you are thinking about selling and would like a market appraisal, call Trish.
Trish Fitzgerald Residential Sales 021 952 452 • t.fitzgerald@barfoot.co.nz
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A R T I S T S
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