the little things By Amanda Hayward
Don't Forget to Take Time for YOU
K
Mar. 1 and Apr. 7 • 8:30 a.m.
ids come first. That is in the parenting rulebook. Putting your kids first means tossing your dreams out the window, right? Wrong. And here's why. I was a little wary about signing my kids up for all of the extracurriculars they asked to do: cheerleading, football, baseball, gymnastics. All I could think about at the time was running back and forth; no time for fun on the weekends; no time for my adult hobbies and interests; locked in and living the sports life for a majority of the year. It is totally OK to go all in and invest lots of time and energy into your kids' dreams. However, we should save some of that energy for our dreams, too. Why? When we feel accomplished, we won't only be happier parents for our kids, we are showing them how to follow their dreams and work hard for what they want. Eva, my 6-year-old, asked to join gymnastics so she can learn to do a cartwheel before cheer begins; and Will, my 10-year-old, really wants to practice pitching before baseball kicks off. So here I am, doing my best to help my kids work hard for their dreams, all while trying to fulfill my own. I want them to see that if you really want something, you can work for it and you can do it. If I’m not living what I am teaching, am I being the best example I could be? Of course it’s easier said than done, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t put forth all of our effort. In addition to feeling guilty and selfish, life is busy and you may think that there is not enough time. So naturally, you put your kids first and forget about you. We are tired, busy moms and dads. (Just writing about all of this makes me tired). However, I try to look beyond all of the busy talk. We are the example, and we need to be happy, too. For whatever reason, these days parents tend to live with this awful guilt, telling ourselves that we shouldn’t be doing things for us: going grocery shopping alone; taking a couples vacation; spending a day solo. Remember that these tiny breaks are essential to a happy, healthy parent. Yes, pursuing both [your kids wants and yours] will be hard, but if you really want it, the time is there. If we show this to our kids, then they will more than likely push and work hard to be who they want to be, and do what they want to do. But they can’t do it without our support and example. I think - without me, how can my kids fulfill their dreams? Without me, they can’t go to practice. Without me, they can’t just go sign themselves up for something they really love. They need me to be the backbone and get them started and believe in them. That alone is eye opening to your kids; live your dreams in addition to that and there you have it - happy kid, happy mom and dad. Throw on your soccer mom hat and watch your kids have the time of their life; then afterward, go ahead and do that hobby you’ve been dreaming about. Ask grandma and grandpa for help to watch the kiddos while you run to the coffee shop and brainstorm your new business idea. Don’t forget, while you follow their dreams, follow yours, too!
EDITOR 2 march 2022
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