Introduction: To Feminist Thought & Action
The Interactive Archive Of Two Confused Advocators of Feminism
By Luxsi Young & Cassadee Hirsch Fall 2015
Feminist: noun a person who supports feminsim. Feminsim: noun the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. Masculinity: noun possession of the qualities traditionally associated with men Femininity: noun the quality of being female; womanliness Gender noun the state of being male or female Sexuality noun capacity for sexual feelings a person’s sexual orientation or preference: Feminist: noun a person who supports feminsim. Feminsim: noun the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. Masculinity: noun possession of the qualities traditionally associated with men Femininity: noun the quality of being female; womanliness Gender noun the state of being male or female Sexuality noun capacity for sexual feelings a person’s sexual orientation or preference:
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Gender Diary: Luxsi Young Barbie Girl: Chloe O’Neill Ongoing Series: Cassadee Hirsch Luxsi Young: Past Work Gender Diary: Cassadee Hirsch Connect The Dots The Generic Woman Coloring Book Ongoing Series: Luxsi Young Peak-A-Boo Zine: Cassadee Hirsch Ongoing Series Continued A Confusing Photoshootwhere they wanted me to style a woman Masculine by Cassadee Hirsch
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Introduction to Feminist Thought & Action Gender Diary Luxsi Young Choi
You may have heard a lot of women explain to other people, growing up as a kid they used to be a tomboy. They dressed like a boy, wanted to fit in as a boy, wanted to do things that boys did. Well, to no one’s surprise I used to be a tomboy or I prefer a ‘boyish girl’ as well. I had a strong personality, I hated to wear skirts not because I wanted to be a boy or thought that skirts were ugly but because I wanted to run around and explore and I loved to be comfortable. I really hated when my mother used to put my hair up into two pigtails I would always take them out and complain to her that I had a headache from how tight they were, I also hated when my mother chose out outfits for me to wear because they were extremely uncomfortable for me. I understood why my mother wanted me to act a certain way as a young girl, she was a miss Korea, therefore growing up in her arms she always thought me to behave a certain way as a young girl should be and act a certain way to become lovely girl and bloom into a lovely young woman like she was. As a child I felt an enormous pressure to meet her standards, she would make me stand against the wall on my tippy toes and would put a book on my head just so I can have a better posture. She made me do ballet but as I grew older I decided to go into hip-hop instead and it was much more fun and comfortable for me because I could freely express my movements. She used to stretch out my legs every night so that I would grow tall like her but I ended up short and she was disappointed. However, as I grew older and older she started to accept me gradually she started to accept me as who I am and what my interests were, and I am grateful for that but I know that she still does not understand some of the choices I have made or will make in my life. As a young girl I think that the main reason why I geared toward wanting to be a ‘boyish girl’ was because I felt like my brother had more freedom in comparison to me and to this day I am jealous of how my mother treats him.
Earliest Memory: The earliest memory I have about my own gender identity is when I was still living in Korea. I was in grade 1 or 2 (most likely 2) I knew that I was a girl and I was attracted to both girls and boys, however I was more interested in girls. I say this because I remember having a strong feeling towards my best friend at the time and I would like to categories this strong feeling the same as having a crush on someone. I was possessive over her, I would stand up for her when other kids bullied her, I would get her snacks when I got snacks, I would hold her hand and kiss her when we walked around. I have never expressed these feeling out loud or openly to anyone else but in my own head. My mother and her mother thought we were just best friends but I really did like her a lot, however I never told my mother that because my in culture, this was not acceptable nor did I have any knowledge on what homosexuality was. I just thought whatever this feeling I had was not normal and I just kept it to my self for a very long time.
Entry 1:
I moved to Canada when I was in grade 4 and for high school I was sent to a boarding school on an island on the coast of Vancouver, my parents thought it would be great for my brother and I to experience other cultures especially Western culture so that we could learn English. Moving to Canada was the greatest and the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Great because I got to learn English and learn many eye opening experiences but worst because, I felt as thought all of my past feelings I could not express as a young girl exploded all at once and I went through a depression. As I teen I was very detached from things especially when I went to high school. My best memories of my childhood or teen years were with my elementary school friends. When I started attending boarding school, I became very sad. There were so many rules to keep up to. My whole life I just wanted to be comfortable with my self and be free and I could not do that at school. I always got into trouble at school for doing what any curious teenagers would do which was to break the rules. None of the girls in my house really like me except for one girl who was my best friend. Other than her I always hung out with the boys during breaks and go adventuring in the woods with boys and climb tree trunks and walk across rivers etc. All the boys I hung out with accepted me like brothers or true friends, I felt more comfortable talking to them about myself compared to girls. Boarding school was hard for high school and me in general because I felt like I could not fit in with certain group of girls. I had friends here and there but it was not like how I was a friend with some of my guy friends. Girls were more judgmental and would always talk behind other girls’ backs. It just was not for me, I started to channel my feelings into art; I always loved art since when I was a young girl so I started to paint a lot in high school. I painted every night during our free times mostly painted naked girls, I was really interested in women’s body figures maybe I was expressing my old crush and my feelings towards women I do not know but I did carry on to painting naked women in literal and abstract ways. My art teacher thought I was crazy, but I thought there was nothing wrong because many famous artists did and I did not see a reason why I could not paint naked bodies.
Entry 2:
It was not until couple of days ago I truly accepted my sexuality, I feel as though I have been very oppressed through my high school years. Especially attending a strict boarding school, not many people came out fully owning up to their sexuality. I am attracted to both male and female however I have never had intimacy with a woman because as I mentioned I just realized and fully accepted my sexuality recently. I think being in New York has helped me a lot to open up about myself as a female; I have a boyfriend who so gratefully understands my situation and supports me in every way. Being a feminist is so important especially in a city like New York because there are many young women who are willing to express themselves and put them selves out there for whatever the cause, rather if it is something for themselves or for the public. I feel like I have a voice here in New York, I do not like to think that I have a voice in Korea, I did not feel like I could express fully what I was interested in. Male dominance is a huge culture in Asian, although Korea has come a long way since I first left there it still is not on the same level as a city like New York. MY grandparents did not believe in me becoming an artist or even attending university. My grandparents always used to say, you are a woman it is a waste of time to attend school, just find a rich man and get married your life will be easier. And I always nodded my head even though I did not agree. As an adult now I told my mother that I need to study art and I need to study it in a city like New York or somewhere in Europe. As being an artist himself, my father was always supportive of the idea of studying art he was the one who wanted us to study abroad starting at a young age. He wanted my brother and I to see more than just Korea and wanted us to experience and fully understand the world. I think that was a great help in becoming the woman I am today.
Entry 3:
New York is truly a great city for an aspiring artist like me, and to be able to study at a school full of diversity is a great opportunity. Taking this course, I have learned a lot about being a feminist and at first I was very confused because I only defined feminism with one meaning, which was equality. I learned that there are many different layers and opinions by many different people of what they identify feminism as. And taken from what I have learned this class, I will explain a little bit about what feminism means to me. For me being a feminist was having the same equal rights as men. Growing up from a culture that was dominated by male society, it was always hard for me to see an example of a strong woman; therefore, I did not know how important this issue was. I was always told to behave and act like a lovely girl, especially from my mother and I always had to contain my self in social settings. However, as I grew older and had the knowledge of experiencing western culture I learned a lot of things. I started to see many strong women figures not in just famous settings but around me as well. I saw friends mothers’ who worked, friends mothers’ who worked with the board of education and when I came to New York I met many young woman who already had a strong voice in their art and strong stance and belief in what they do. It was very empowering to meet all of these young women doing what they do in their daily lives. However, to some extent I do not agree with their understanding of feminism, this does not mean I do not believe in their work I simple have a different understanding of it. As I mentioned earlier, I used to paint naked women in my work. For a long time I was very comfortable in expressing sex and naked bodies in my work however, after taking this class this mind set has changed a little bit. I do agree with the fact that this is important, however I do feel like that a lot of young women are using their naked bodies to express art and it is really over done in this 21st century. I stopped making art that includes nudity, because I felt as thought it was almost an attention grabbing work rather than a meaningful work. I also just felt like being naked in social media or through art is not going to change where feminism stands right now, a lot of young women are doing this and I think they are really missing some elements in what I define feminism as. I believe that feminism is a woman who works hard to make a change in the society to better women’s reality. Someone who takes the advantage of their art form and uses it to express a deeper meaning to connect with the audience the real problem we are facing in our society. To me this is the kind of a feminist I want to be or practice to become. There is no right or wrong definition of what feminism means, I agree that feminism is a broad topic for many people. New York city is all about individualism and it is understandable for young women to be a liberal feminist however I think that being too liberal separates the feminist society.
Outro:
I define myself as a feminist, but I would like to be defined as who I am as a person first. The word feminist or feminism does not necessarily have to be the main focus around my artwork or anything in general. I am a woman who believes in strong women. I do not degrade men, nor do I think every man is sexist or dominating. I do not want to be a boy I am proud to be a woman who is strong like a woman not strong like a man. I am an artist and a designer who want to deeply use this issue and topic through out my work and find a deeper meaning to connect with my audience. I do not want my art to be focused around feminism but around me because who I am as a person defines my feminism.
Barbie Girl: Chloe O’neill
Chloe O’neill is a model and Journalist, studying at Eugene Lang as a sophomore. We met with Chloe earily in the morning to discuss trans issues and trans idenity.
Tells us a bit about yourself? What is your sign?
I am a girl from upstate NY! I came to live here in New York City last year to study at The New School. I write poetry. I am a Cancer. My mom is a Aries and my dad is a Scorpio.
What your career endeavors? What are you currently studying? I want to get my PhD. in Science and Technology Studies and teach in a university and write books. I see myself living in New York or some other large city. I just got accepted into the BA/ BFA program in The New School, so starting in the spring I will be studying Design and Technology at Parsons and Culture and Media at Eugene Lang College. How would you define your aesthetic? What colors are choice in your wardrobe and what brands are you fan-girling? I like to play with the limits of good taste. I am really interested in monochrome colors paired with different textures, so I like to work with denim, pleather, knit etc. pieces. I also like to dress femininely, and can’t get enough of the color pink. In this way, I imagine my aesthetic as the lovechild of Moschino Barbie, early fashion, and Eckhaus Latta. Right now I am really into the brand ADER.
I heard you were beginning to model, tell me a bit about this! Yes I am! I have gotten into modeling through having mutual friends who were also starting to model. As a transwoman, I feel like the public’s conception of my body is something that is degenerate or less beautiful. For me, modeling helps fight damaging beliefs about the trans identity and beauty, at least for me in my mind.
What does Gender mean to you?
Gender is something that is socially constructed but socially ingrained in sex, being the biology, of a person. As you are part of the trans community, where have you found a support system? I have found a lot of support in the memoirs of other trans women. Seeing beautiful trans women in the media like Hari Nef, Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, has also always been a huge inspiration for me. As I have begun to transition, I have also made connections with other people who were early in their transition. Talking with other trans girls has been the most helpful for me.
How is your transition going?
My transition is going very well! With a couple exceptions, I feel very accepted and supported by all of my peers. I feel so much happier and confident than I ever did before. So far I have realized how much I still have to learn about myself and the world around me. I feel like I am always changing; it is my goal to just become a better and better person.
When did you know you were trans?
I had moment throughout my life where I had the realization that I was trans, but it was something that I buried deep down because it was too scary to think about. As I have gotten older I have realized that being myself is worth it, even if its harder than being what other people want me to be. How has your life changed in the past months? As I said before, I have become a lot more confident. I have made a lot of new friends in the trans community. I have new hair, my name has changed, and I’ve fallen out of a committed relationship. I feel like I have a lot more changing to do! What do you wish many Americans would understand about the trans-gender community? I wish that people would understand that gender exists in a spectrum – meaning that trans people don’t pop from one side of the gender binary (male/female) to the other.
We all exist somewhere inbetween or even outside of this binary. In this sense, the presentation of gender, especially in transgender people, doesn’t have to fit in that binary. For example, know trans women who don’t like to wear dresses, and trans men who wear makeup!
How is the Cis gaze in acceptance to the Trans community?
A lot of cisgendered people are “accepting” of trans people in the media, but still hold them at a lower social status to their peers. Many cis people are also weirdly invasive about trans bodies. Don’t ask me weird questions about my body that you wouldn’t ask any other random person that you meet!
Words of advice for your past self?
Trust yourself!
Words of advice for people who are coming to terms with their trans-identity?
I would say that you should find and connect with as many people you can to build your support system. Everything is easier with a strong support system. Once you find those people you can rely on you can be more and more comfortable taking risks with yourself.
A Gender Diary: The Introductive Experience of Cassadee Hirsch
Cassadee Hirsch, 1998, First Preschool Photo
While stumbling into my twenties, and losing much of my innocence in the process, gender has undermined my self-esteem. Constantly, I feel as though my gender has hurt who I am as a person, particularly as a child. Through my adolescence, I rejected being a female due to the weakness that it seemed to possess. I hated the concept of being girly; I hated pink, I hated makeup, I hated boys; I was shamed for my physicality when playing sports, hearing “You throw like a girl,” “You hit like a girl,” “We’re definitely going to lose with a girl on the team.” By the age of five I rejected being a female all together. I rejected femininity. Often as a child, I would yell at adults who told me I was beautiful or dropped words like princess. I use to wear baseball jerseys and jeans to school every day, as well as a cap that covered my waist length hair. My mom would always insist I participate in shopping sprees with her and my sister, but I preferred Chicago Cubs games with my brother and dad. I grew up wanting to be a boy so bad. I stood when peeing at the age of four and my mother screamed. I use to play war on the playground with boys and throw snowballs with them, holding back tears when an ice ball made contact with my eye. I would wrestle. I was too much of a girl to truly fit in with the boys, but I was too much like a boy to fit in with the girls. I was never invited to sleepovers; I was always stubbed as the weird outcast at social gatherings, due to my rejection of womanhood and my exclusion from boys. As a child, my sister and mother would taunt me with teases of getting my period, as well as boys I liked, and the idea of one day wearing makeup or having large boobs, they would say “Those who don’t want them get them!”.
Cassadee 8 (right) Samone 18 (left) Big and Little Sisters I was acting like myself, but society chose to coin young girls like myself as “tomboys”. I remember watching HBO’s Sopranos and Sex and the City at a very young age with my parents and being disgusted by its depiction of women. This would be the first step in a spiraling path of anti-womanhood. I was kicked out of five different preschools, accumulating over 150 action violations by the time of first grade, due to fistfights caused from teasing on the playground. As I grew older, I would constantly receive suspensions from my primary school due to speaking too much in class, causing issues and acting symmetrically to my male peers-- though they were never punished. It was almost as if this behavior was classified as natural for males, and punishable for females. Within the past three years, I have begun to see myself as a child much differently. Instead of feeling like a bully and regretful for my actions, I realized most of this self-blame has been due to my gender. I have actually begun to grow angry at children’s films, especially Disney films, which I used to enjoy. Listening to the lyrics of the musical parts now, one has to feel some bit of rage, especially when you’re five your old niece is watching them and singing along. Recently I had a horrific moment when watching The Little Mermaid with her this summer, Arial visits Ursula to give her voice away to meet Prince Eric on land. In the midst of her “Poor Unfortunate Souls” solo, when Arial asks how she will communicate with Prince Eric without a voice, Ursula replies: “You’ll have your looks, your pretty face! And don’t underestimate the importance of body language, ha! The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber They think a girl who gossips is a bore! Yes on land it’s much preferred for ladies not to say a word And after all dear, what is idle prattle for?” (The Little Mermaid, Walt Disney Pictures)
Rylee Grace, Age 5
While my niece continued to sing and dance, I saw in shock the hidden social constructs I had innocently ignored at her age. As a “loud, opinionated, and conformational” female, I realized it wasn’t due to these “unwomanly” traits, but due to societies ideas and normality’s. What made this revelation much worse was my niece was watching the same scene as me. A “harmless” fairy tale that could help accommodate to the possibility of a lack of confidence, low self-esteem, and/ or limitations in her goals/plans. With a birds-eye view, a childhood of warmth and safety can crumble, no matter how safe and innocent they are. My childhood has definitely contributed to my lack of trust in peers, low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. The majority of adults discover similar things, I think. Many women grow up to become feminist due to a realization that their lives were indeed purchased and gifted to them—not earned by their choices due to societal blockage. Sadly, I can’t help but feel an impending doom for every little boy and girl I come across.
At the age of fifteen, I remember getting my first period and feeling so ashamed. This was it; this was my body defining who I was becoming. I remember hiding it from my mother and pretending like it never happened, and teaching myself how to use a tampon (a common bonding ritual between mother and daughter.) My lack of “femininity” continued to separate myself from my community further and further, to the point of affecting my relationships with family members. My extended family thought I was homosexual, my parents were concerned with my social skills, and my sister constantly belittled my lack of conventional womanhood. That same year I began to discover fashion and used it for my own personal self-expression and empowerment. I began to love heels, skirts but still allowed pieces of my “tomboy” identification to show through. While transitioning into fashion I refused to speak. I wanted to allow the clothing to do the talking for me. As my male friends began to trade their friendships for girlfriends, and teenage girls still rejected me, I found comfort in my closet.
Cassadee, age 16
On my first day of high school, I remember not knowing anyone and walking through the halls ready to make friends when a few male seniors sprayed a large bottle of mountain dew on my head. A gender role and stereotype they are contributing to, I continued to walk to class, holding back the urge to call my mom to come pick me up. As I walked into Latin class, I remember the immediate confrontation of being called ugly as I was assigned to sit with a table of five boys. Many teenagers and adults hear this a few or many times in their life, but my thoughts immediately responded to images of the “perfect” women dubbed by society. Many times in childhood I had been called ugly, but this moment really created the attitude I kept throughout my entire time there--disgust and annoyance. Women constantly face sexism when working or interviewing at a job, and I have heard stories and experienced (When Hilary Clinton ran for president in 2008, many reporters confirmed they wouldn’t be voting for Mrs. Clinton due to her face.) A woman’s self worth being defined by their appearance.
At sixteen, I began to date my first boyfriend, a boyfriend that was emotional abusive due to what I assume were from his struggle with fitting into the ideal masculinity. A constant issue he seemed to have was my lack of his association with female identification, as he constantly compared me to actresses in movies or how our female friends seemed to act with their current love. I was never willing to do the things expected of me. This blatant sexism allowed me to appreciate my womanhood. If I didn’t feel like having sex with him, I would reject the idea all together for the night, often causing him to roar in anger and ask me why I couldn’t be like “normal” women. He would say he was in lingering pain from his erection and would be in a bad mood due to it. At first I fell for many traps, after all, this was the first boy to ever pay attention to me. He would constantly scold and scream at me privately and publicly for conversations and engagements I would have with our friends. This only made my voice more refined and powerful, I didn’t want to filter my mind but filter the content I allowed to enter it. Recently I thanked myself in appreciation for coming to New York and breaking up with this particular boyfriend of three years. Thanking myself for respecting who I was, and moving when he would constantly tell me I would fail. Surprisingly he introduced me to a clique of feminist teenagers who educated my introduction to feminism. Many being men and many being women, we would discuss our lack of gender normative behavior, our lack of believing in gender identity and the force that comes with social constructs. I began to identify with societies social constructions, finding Noam Chomsky to immerse linguistically in my thoughts. Since I had always struggled with social anxiety due to my appearance, I still always had a very outspoken voice, one that tended to land me in the Principal’s Office. When I discovered Feminism I began to use this voice with purpose, still landing in the Dean’s Office of my public high school, and receiving suspensions-but now for open class arguments about the Woman’s Only Baking Club that denied my gay friends admission, (The concept of this club was to bake treats for the male sports teams at my school. The argument began by me asking one of the jocks if he would allow said gay friend to bake him those cupcakes he was eating, his response, “Of course not!”) Confronting a teacher who would make me run in my heels when I didn’t feel like participating in gym, (her explanation being I have to learn how to look good and chase after my future kids.) or using my voice to protect my female/male friends for their appearance, whether through slut shaming or teasing. Oddly, coming to New York City, I thought gender would be perceived entirely different, but again one always sees the grass to be greener on the other side. I was extremely excited to take this feminist course, and oddly feminism/politics comes through in all of my other classes, something I am very vocal about. But while in this class, I feel very divided and unsafe in esteem. I get anxiety, due to the way other students are treated by peers. Arguments are due in any controversial class like this, but I wish they came with explanations and not eye rolls.
Anna (16), Cassadee(15), Matt (17) I have realized much of my self-esteem has been lowered due to these Gender identifications, and notifications of being “weird” to my peers. I was a bully due to this as a young child, due to the social construction of not being submissive, and though I regret much of my own teasing, I can’t help but blame the lack of acceptance little girls and boys receive for their denial of gender norms. I identify as a CIS-woman and I am proud of it, but I do not believe in defining gender. I do support anyone who defines himself/or herself through gender. Feminism allowed me to find comfort in my “femininity”, and allowed myself to accept my gender more fluently as a function rather than a complete identity.
Connect The Dots differnt shape
The Generic Female Coloring Book
By Cassadee Hirsch
Draw & Color in Your Idea of What a Woman Looks Like, and What a woman is.
Manifesto This books represents different kinds of important female figures in the media and history. Its motive is to challenge the definition of the ‘generic’ woman and the idea of womanhood. these pages outline a surface level representation of different kinds of women, in hopes to continue this process of including a larger range of womanhood, and thus representing the indefinable image.
Gloria steinnem activist & Journalist
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The f irst problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.
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Angela Davis Political activist, Scholar & Author
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To understand how any society functions you must understand the relationship between the men and the women.
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Rani lakshmibai warrior & Queen
Virginia woolf Author
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As a woman I have no country. As a woman my country is the whole world.
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Frida Kahlo Painter
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Nothing is absolute. Everything changes, everything moves, everything revolves, everything ffllies and goes away.fl
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Hari Nef Super Model
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I don’t want the same trans story to be told over and over again... gender can be customised however you want.
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Joan of arc warrior
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One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrif ice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.
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Beyonce singer
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power is not given to you. You have to take it.
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Martyred Meena activist Founder of Rawa
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I’m the woman who has awoken I’ve arisen and become a tempest through the ashes of my burnt children I’ve arisen from the rivulets of my brother’s blood My nation’s wrath has empowered me My ruined and burnt villages fill me with hatred against the enemy Oh compatriot, no longer regard me weak and incapable, My voice has mingled with thousands of arisen women My fists are clenched with fists of thousands compatriots To break all these sufferings all these fetters of slavery. I’m the woman who has awoken, I’ve found my path and will never return.
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Yoko ono artist, Singer, activist & Writer
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This society is driven by neurotic speed and force accelerated by greed and frustration of not being able to live up to the image of men and woman we have created for ourselves; the image has nothing to do with the reality of people.
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Laverne Cox Actress
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By Focusing on Bodies We don’t Focus on the lived realities of that oppression and that discrimination.
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Yayoi Kusama Artist & Writer
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My Life is a Dot lost among thousands of other dots
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bell hooks Author & Activist
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I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance.
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