SHARING OUR EXPERIENCES

SHARING OUR

Experiences

This summer, Enable sat down with Chrissie, who is 59, and David, who is 14. Both Chrissie and David have a visible di erence and despite growing up in di erent times, the stigma they have faced is similar. Here, they both share their experiences and the questions and advice that they have for each other

EXPERIENCE

When Christi ne, who goes by Chrissie, was three, she was in an accident that left her with third degree burns on her face, arms, body and thighs. Growing up with her four siblings and in nursery, Chrissie didn’t feel like she was treated diff erently, but everything changed when she started school.

“As I grew older I realised children would treat me diff erently and I didn’t know why because my family didn’t treat me diff erently so why would other people?” asks Chrissie. “Once I was at school I started to get bullied and the name calling started.” David, who has the skin conditi on bullous ichthyosiform erythroderma, had a similar experience when he made the transiti on from nursery to school.

“It’s quite rubbish really, I have to wake up every morning and put cream on, I’ve got blisters that always come open and I can’t walk around that much,” shares David. “I can’t enjoy things like playing football, riding my bike or going out with my friends most of the ti me because they all like doing acti ve things and I just have to sit on the side.

“It was kind of the same for me at nursery, everyone would just play and it was nothing diff erent, but as soon as I got into primary school people treated me diff erently.”

People avoided David and treated him like his skin conditi on was contagious. Eventually he stopped going to school.

“I only had one or two people I was friends with and even then, they sti ll didn’t really talk to me because everyone else would think ‘why are they talking to the weird person?’,” admits David. “No one wanted to speak to me and I was really just alone.”

Chrissie

CONFIDENCE

These experiences were detrimental to David’s confi dence, but things started to change when his teachers stepped in.

“I took a break from school and the teachers actually had an assembly with everyone in my year,” reveals David.

“They showed them my creams and bandages and let them smell them and feel them, aft er that they accepted me. Since then I’ve got a lot of friends.”

As David approached the end of primary school, he started to worry

Keep on smiling and helping people understand

that he would experience the same prejudices in high school, but this wasn’t the case.

“Moving into secondary school I thought it would be the exact same thing, I would have to try and make friends and people would make fun of me, but I haven’t had one single issue,” he enthuses.

Like David, Chrissie’s confi dence was aff ected due to people treati ng her diff erently and bullying her for her appearance.

“You want to fi t in with the crowd around you, you see all of your friends hanging out, laughing and having fun and you want to be included in that,” shares Chrissie. “Being an outsider, you feel like you’re alone and it did aff ect my confi dence a lot.”

SHARING

Both Chrissie and David have connected with Changing Faces, the UK’s leading charity for everyone with a scar, mark or conditi on on their face or body. The charity supports people with a visible diff erence while campaigning to change percepti ons and end discriminati on.

“There was nothing like Changing Faces around when I was young, there was no support and no one I could call for advice, I just had my family and friends who helped me get through everything,” admits Chrissie. “It’s been quite a long journey.”

Chrissie came across the charity by chance while on a counselling skills course and aft er being encouraged by friends, decided to share her story.

“It’s really good to be out there and educati ng the general public,” emphasises Chrissie. “It just makes me feel like I’m part of helping others as well now, that’s why I became a campaigner.”

David fi rst heard about Changing Faces during a dermatology appointment where he was introduced to one of the charity’s counsellors.

“I met her and spoke to her a few ti mes about how I was feeling about my skin and she gave me some advice on how to deal with it,” shares David. “She said they were starti ng a youth group so I joined it and I’ve done lots of things with them including going down to London for a video, I was on the radio

You want to fi t in with the crowd around you

David

and have been in a few magazines and newspapers.”

Since joining the group, David has also spoken at a children’s conference in Edinburgh, campaigned to Scotti sh Nati onal Party MPs and been part of the BBC’s lifeline appeal.

“It’s made my confi dence go sky high,” enthuses David. “I’ve even had a few ti mes where my teachers have asked me to do speeches to the school on Changing Faces.”

With their own understandings of how negati ve percepti ons and sti gma can damage confi dence for people with a visible diff erence, Chrissie and David want to see things change.

“I’d like to see people being a lot more accepti ng and I think educati on is the key, if we can help more people understand that just because you look diff erent, it doesn’t mean that you are any diff erent, then people could be a lot more open minded,” off ers Chrissie.

“I would like the staring to stop to be honest,” adds David. “People should realise that not everyone’s the same, I think when people look diff erent it doesn’t mean they’re evil or have no friends, it’s just a visible diff erence.”

CONNECTION

Having had the opportunity to speak with David and hear about his experiences, Chrissie shared her advice with him, she says: “I think what you’ve achieved at only 14 is absolutely brilliant. To have the confi dence you do at your age is absolutely wonderful. I didn’t have that confi dence at that age, I didn’t learn that unti l later on in life and I just think whatever you’re doing just keep on doing it. Keep on smiling and helping people understand.”

Knowing that Chrissie was able to move past the negati vity she has faced, David had one questi on for her: “Do you sti ll experience the negati vity?”

“I experience it sti ll yes, but it’s the way you react to it,” highlights Chrissie. “Growing up as a teenager I used to get very angry and get into a lot of arguments with people about them staring at me, but later on I’ve learnt to walk away from it and not react to them and I think that’s basically part of self-care really. As long as you’ve got a good group of people around you, which I know you have, then you’ll get through it.”

FOR MORE INFORMATION Find out more about the support available from Changing Faces visit www.changingfaces.org.uk