Matters of life & love DearlyBeloved

BY SARAH TOLMIE

READER QUESTION: “I get very stressed around the Christmas and Holiday period. Being on the Coast, all our families on both sides spend a lot of time with us. It’s a lot of entertaining and managing cousins of various ages, let alone the adult siblings, it can get a bit wearing. I secretly wish they’d all stay home. Am I being a Christmas grinch?”

Dear Beloved,

I can understand the potential to become a Christmas grinch – it takes a lot of energy and giving out at a time when it is the end of the year, and the beach is calling. Yes.

And then, when I look at what is happening in the world, with Ukraine and Russia; and with Israel and Hamas, I can’t but not feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the life we have possible in our peaceful and beautiful country. My mind thinks how blessed and lucky we are to have our families, be safe and be able to be together.

There is little I can personally do to bring peace to the world on the scale it needs, and yet, what I know I can do is treasure and maintain peace inside my family, which is my world. The Christmas message is about peace and love. Peace on earth can begin with your family and our immediate relationships.

I find it amazing how in one family, there can be such difference and diversity. There is nothing like your family to bring out the most intense emotions, responses and reactions. Families really do bring out the best and worst in us. It is the best relationship skills training ground ever.

If you can create, sustain and enjoy acceptance, harmony and diversity in the arena of your family life, then that is the energy and expectation you bring to meet the outer world. If you run from your family encounters – even conflicts – if you feel or experience non–acceptance or exclusion, these will be painfully repeated experiences in the outer world. What we learn is what we live and create.

Look at our world right now! How is peace on earth possible? Bring peace, diplomacy, compassion, forgiveness –and joy, celebration and love – to your family and community interactions and I believe the world will have the best chance to change.

When we can master our family dynamic maybe we can get the grass roots of change underway in our own microcosm, and we will all be playing out part to affect the macrocosm, helping to combat wars, racial intolerance, bigotry and discrimination a global scale.

As we hear the Christmas carols and the prayers for peace on earth, and Happy New Year, my plea for you is to play your part, and strive for peace in your family. Remember your common unity and deeper connections. Bring love, gentleness, tact, respect and great listening, and a good amount of humility and humour.

Resist your Christmas Grinch and welcome your family with open and generous arms and do all you can to live and love and laugh together, like the world depends on it.

Happy holidays. Happy families. Much Love and Peace, Sarah x

Sarah Tolmie – Life & Love: Sarah is a marriage therapist, life and love and relationship coach, end–of–life consultant, an independent and bespoke funeral director and holistic celebrant. She provides holistic care, mentoring, guidance, healing and transformation for individuals, couples and families at their most important times of life and love – at end–of–life, in love and relationship, and in ritual and celebration. Sarah has a series of online courses – “Creating a Miracle Marriage. Online Course for Couples” and “How do you feel? Using the intelligence of our emotions to heal and be whole in Life and Love and “Landscapes of Life and Love and Loss. Traversing the pathways of dying, death and grief”.

To find out more, visit www.sarahtolmie.com.au