Getting your “pre–baby body back” is not what Mother Nature intended

Getting your “pre-baby body back” is not what Mother

Nature intended

BY LOUISE HURLEY

Personally, I’d like to delete the phrase “get my/your pre–baby body back” from our society’s vocabulary. It’s a goal that many mums tell me they want to work towards, and in general it means feeling the pressure to get back to the same weight, the same clothes size or the same body shape as they were pre–pregnancy. In my opinion, I believe that it’s an unfair expectation and can actually be damaging to a mother’s physical and mental health. Here’s why…

ƒ A mother’s body goes through significant physical changes when growing and birthing a baby. Her internal organs rearrange themselves to make room for her growing baby, her uterus had to stretch to 500 times its pre–pregnancy size and the joints in her pelvis had to become wide enough for her baby’s head to fit through (even if she had a c–section birth, her pelvis would still have changed) ƒ Whilst some changes, such as pelvic floor dysfunction, are temporary (when the correct rehabilitation route is taken), other changes are longer

lasting or permanent, for example, hip width, thickness of connective tissue, breast shape, shape of abdominal muscles, internal and external scarring, skin elasticity and skin texture. With all of this in mind you can surely see how unrealistic the goal to return to a pre–baby body is ƒ Being a parent is HARD WORK most days, and for a lot of mums there’s a pressure to always be on top of their motherhood game (wearing clean clothes, hair done, not looking tired when actually they’re exhausted, taking their little one to all of the baby classes, making healthy meals, and so on). Throwing in the unrealistic expectation that they should look like they haven’t had a baby is going to add extra strain to a mum’s mental load and become one more thing they feel that they’re not doing well enough.

It was never Mother Nature’s intention for mums to bounce back and look like they haven’t had a baby. A mum’s body is meant to look different to what it was, because it IS different. If there’s one thing I hope that you take away from this article it’s that different is not the same as bad or worse. Different is just different.

So why do so many women feel that they should be working towards getting their pre–baby body back? Here is what I’ve noticed from working with mums over the years and being active on social media: ƒ In today’s society and our typical western culture, there’s a lot of pressure in the media to “bounce back” or return to pre–pregnancy weight, shape and size. This message may not always be obvious, but think about all the cellulite creams, firming lotions, stretch mark treatments and weight loss products that are advertised with mums as the target audience ƒ All too often we see “before and after” posts on social media. The way a person is posing for the photo, the lighting used or filters added are all used to enhance the illusion of the

“after” photo, making the goal of matching up this standard extremely unrealistic ƒ The language people use can have a big impact. The words “you don’t even look like you’ve had a baby” are often given as a compliment (I

Throwing in the unrealistic expectation that they should look like they haven’t had a baby is going to add extra strain to a mum’s mental load

have certainly been guilty of this in the past, before becoming a mum’s fitness professional) and women are often praised when they fit into their pre–pregnancy jeans just weeks after having a baby. Before I go on, I want to make clear that there is nothing wrong with fitting into your pre–pregnancy jeans after having a baby. My point is that using it as a compliment or using it as a goal is usually not helpful.

Let’s be realistic, for mums to accept and love the changes in their body after having children will feel impossible some days, but I do believe that all mums should learn to take the time to respect and appreciate what their body has done and what it’s capable of doing. It’s easier said than done, so for any mums striving to get their pre–baby body back, here’s my advice on what to leave behind and what to focus on:

DON’T BELIEVE ALL THAT YOU

SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA Before and after photos on social media often use angles, lighting and filters to make the after photo look different. Ask yourself this, “What positive impact does this person/social media account/service/ product have on my life?” If it makes you feel as though your body is flawed in the way it currently looks then unfollow the account. You have the power to turn away from it and choose what you see and read.

UNDERSTAND YOUR BIRTH STORY Even if you gave birth years ago, once you’re postnatal, you’ll always be postnatal. Understanding what your body went through during pregnancy and birth can help you become more compassionate towards your body and you can better understand your recovery.

DON’T FOCUS YOUR MENTAL

ENERGY ON YOUR WEIGHT, SIZE,

SHAPE OR BMI. They are not accurate measurements of health. A healthy body does not only come in one size or shape (despite what social media will have you believe). Instead, focus on getting a fully functioning pelvic floor, or reducing back pain, increasing muscle mass and fitness so that you can chase your children or increase bone density.

BE CLEAR ON YOUR GOALS AND

THEN ASK YOURSELF “WHY” Why is this goal important to you? Keep asking yourself “why” until you can really get to the bottom of your goal. You may find that you change your goal once you get to the true reason.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE

SELF–CARE Investing time, energy or money into self–care reinforces to yourself and your family that you are worthy and that you are enough.

Louise Hurley – As a MumSafe™ trainer and Pregnancy and Postnatal Corrective Exercise Specialist, Louise’s mission is to help mums at every stage of motherhood safely start or return to exercise. Louise is the owner of Strong Mums and runs small group training and 1:1 PT. Find out more at www.strongmums.com or on social media @strongmumsgosford.