COMMUNITY Coast

"80 Stories High" by Central Coast local Dr John Irvine

Nada – an incredible story about grandma Nada becoming the surrogate for her daughter who couldn’t have children

Nada works as a fitness instructor at our local gym. She was in her fifties, so you can imagine my surprise when I noticed the unmistakable pregnancy bump, but it was none of my business, so I left it at that. Then Nada took pregnancy leave, and I didn’t see her for many months. This is her story as she conveyed it to me on her return to the gym.

Two years earlier, Nada learned that her daughter couldn’t have children as her uterus was not fully formed. However, as Nada’s daughter had viable eggs, an option was surrogacy.

The family didn’t dare trust an overseas surrogate, so they thought they were stumped. However, Nada’s research indicated that post–menopausal women could become surrogates. She contacted the IVF clinic, and they agreed to take her on.

Then began the two long, arduous years of preparing Nada’s uterus with estrogen and progesterone so that her uterus could carry the embryo. Of course, they also had to go through the legal and psychological hoops before the authorities finalised a contract.

With that behind them and the legal green light, now began the long process of extracting seven eggs, five of which were successfully created into embryos using her son–in–law’s semen. Due to the external semen use, these embryos needed to be quarantined for four months in case of any infectious diseases.

The medical team then selected the most viable embryo, after which they had to wait ten days to see whether the transfer had succeeded. Success! Can you imagine Nada’s feelings? Not only was she carrying her own grandchild, but she also experienced the overwhelming realisation that she was helping to create a family that would not have been possible if it wasn’t for her!

The night before the due date, Nada and daughter bunkered down in the hospital, ready for induction. To their relief and delight, the baby was born hale and hearty, and the daughter and husband now had a family.

But not content with that, ten months later, the family repeated the exercise and another healthy little sister was born.

I’m sure Nada could have publicised this incredible story in magazines and top–rating TV shows, but Nada is a true humble hero. She just says it was literally a labour of love! It’s not quite a fairy tale ending because her daughter and family live far away in a large country town. But she does see them, and they are still gob–smacked at the whole exercise and its life–giving outcome.

As a male, I find it hard to fathom the depths of such love, to not only go through so much to bring another human to life, let alone repeat the process another generation later, but then nurture the offspring for the rest of your life. And to every Mum, no matter what mistakes you may have made in the process, you offer a glimpse at the ageless edge of eternity.

“80 Stories High” is an uplifting collection of short stories about ordinary people doing extraordinary things for those they love. They are from the memoirs of Dr John Irvine, one of Australia’s most heard, read and seen Paediatric Psychologists.

WOMEN CELEBRATING WOMEN OVER 60

The foundation of my life comes from being brought up at Mangrove Mountain, with my Nonna coming here in 1928, with my mother aged six, from Northern Italy to a farm which was already bought by my Grandfather father, Peter Comensoli (senior). They lived in a slab hut with a dirt floor and she cried for three months! Her name was Dominica but as it was unknown locally she called herself Angelina – known as Angie. These days, the excitement of farming in a beautiful community makes me tick. Even though the Mountain has changed we have a sense of community, understand farming and keeping sustainability alive. I want to retain that lifestyle that I have been brought up with and be able to pass it on. Family and friends make my life what it is. Nonna Angelina had a saying; “be kind and giving and you will reap the benefits in the end”. I live by this saying. I believe in kindness and look at the good things in life, enjoying the day and accepting what it brings. I still love going to Gosford as I connect with it – it stemmed from visiting the Packing House with my brothers. I have strong memories; even stronger as we lose people. I lost my three brothers recently and that changes your life but you have to step into the real world but I’m really better connected to my time capsule! Grief is critical to our mindfulness. It’s a strange thing. People say “get over it”. We shouldn’t advise that to others. Be kind to those who are going through it or have to relive it. Being brought up in an Italian family makes me live this – my mother said “you give everything for familigia”. It’s hard to get used to family and friends not being here. Later in life you rely on your lifestyle. For me I love my farm.

Sue–Ellen Harris enjoys bringing people together. Through her working life as a teacher and facilitator, the most wonderful element was connectedness – valuing the person in front of her. Availability and connectedness have a place in our world – if we have time, we get to know others. She has created a platform here and on her Instagram page, allowing women over 60 the opportunity to be seen, heard and appreciated. Message her with what makes you tick as an over 60! Instagram: seover60_women