12 minute read
Matters of Life & Love
Matters of life & love BY SARAH TOLMIE
Dearly Beloved
READER QUESTION: “As we head into 2022, I am not feeling my usual excitement for another year. Just because this last horrible one has ended, doesn’t clear the slate. Will there be more pandemic uncertainty? I also feel a lot of grief and anger about the planet. I thought that by my senior years, the world would be getting better. Looking ahead, it feels a bit overwhelming. How do I find the joy for what’s ahead? ”
Generally New Year is my all time favourite time of the year. New Year’s Day has for a long time been for me THE best day of the year. I usually love the ‘clean slate’ feels and am excited to start afresh. I’d set new goals and intentions. I’d feel a surge in my mojo after a summer break and launch into the year with positive anticipation. I’d even start my January 1 with the sunrise and a plunge in the ocean and all would be good again.
But I hear you. What a year! What a few years! The sense of collective weary, grief and anxiety cannot be cleansed by a few days of summer at the beach, some harbour fireworks and the clock ticking over to another year.
The trauma of 2019–20 fires, the 2020–21 pandemic and the many waves of the pandemic with its knock on effects on job security, the economy, mental health and relationships, has flooded our nervous system into chronic fear, anxiety and stress. We have all felt the deep grief and disconnection with separation from loved ones.
And of course, if you care for the planet, how can you not get angry at the ‘circus & politics’ of climate change inaction, when all the while Mother Earth is in peril. The losses and ruin to habitat, eco–systems, wildlife and the natural environment make me weep. It makes me angry. It can cause feelings of overwhelm and helplessness.
It’s impossible to be joyful before we can fully acknowledge the big feelings. While the problems remain, the feelings do also. They are not meant to go away. Our feelings have an important job and that is to help us to direct our behaviour and responses in the most helpful and useful way. The big feelings we are full with from the last years are still inside us and they need to be honoured.
We may indeed need to cry and wail and weep. We may need to shout out into the night sky our rages and shake our bodies with unexpressed anger and at the loss of agency and control.
And then, only then, can you pick yourself up. Once feelings get expressed and acknowledged, they will often gift us their wisdom, and guide us on what to do next. Every feeling also has its opposite, flip side. Joy is very much the travelling companion and heart buddy to grief. How else can you reach the heights of joy without knowing the depths of grief? Out of anger and helplessness, come forth like a king tide, the ideas, actions and convictions that fuel our next plans. Beyond the muddle of overwhelm and stress, if we can bravely walk that dim corridor, the light beckoning us can lead to a clarity and focus.
Trust this dear one. Allow your feelings their rightful place, hold them lovingly and carefully and respectfully and let them tell you their insights. This will for sure galvanise your mojo for another year. I suspect for all of us, with 2022 being an election year, this year will be need to be a one of action and clarity. I know for me, the long time caretaking responsibilities for the well being of myself, my family, my community and my planet will be leading my goals and actions.
Much love, Sarah x
Sarah Tolmie – Life & Love: Sarah is a marriage therapist, life & love and relationship coach, end–of–life consultant, an independent and bespoke funeral director and holistic celebrant. She provides holistic care, mentoring, guidance, healing and transformation for individuals, couples and families at their most important times of life & love – at end–of–life, in love & relationship, and in ritual and celebration. Sarah has a relationship online course for couples called “Creating a Miracle Marriage” and a free resource and video series for families facing dying, death and grief called “Landscapes of Life & Love and Loss”. To find out more, visit www.sarahtolmie.com.au.
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Foxy Silvers
Delivering Arts & Culture for 55+
LGBTI seniors experience higher rates of loneliness and social isolation than their non–LGBTI counterparts.
With a third of all 55+ Australians living alone and facing further new challenges and stresses associated with retirement and ageing, which can impact their mental health and well being, the Naughty Noodle Fun Haus has aligned its 2022 programming with the NSW Ageing Strategy (2016–2020) which commits to recognising the diversity of seniors and the specific needs of LGBTI older people for programs which are “appropriate and inclusive for the ageing LGBTI community and HIV positive older people” (FaCS, 2016, p.21)
Naughty Noodle is launching its 2022 Cultural program “Foxy Silvers” with the inclusion of an extensive & diverse 55+ relevant program from Live music, storytelling to the launch of a new 55+ LGBTIQ social club. “Foxy Silvers 55+ Social Club is a regular social happening for people of diverse sexualities and genders (LGBTQ+) aged 55 and over, a partnership of the Coastal Twist Festival and ACON Health, the initiative is to empower older Central Coast LGBTQ+ people to lead rich and stimulating social and cultural lives, while creating new friendships and building community connections, getting out and about experiencing Arts, vibrancy and connection with others. The goal is to build community through social, cultural, and creative programs and events, including a monthly social coffee club, film evenings, and group outings run by and for older LGBTQ+ people. “
Foxy Silvers is launching at Baker St Café Gosford as part of Coastal Twist Festival Wednesday January 19th our first Coffee Club social, and all registered guests will receive $5 off their coffee or meal. This is a free event, but you must be registered to attend. www.coastaltwist.org.au/whats-on
Coming up will also be free access to Queer Stories and Queerscreen film afternoons as well as live blues music sessions throughout the year after the Coastal Twist LGBTIQ Arts and Culture festival wraps up. Coastal Twist Festival also has Auslan and discounted pricing across all events from Art exhibition, Cabaret and comedy afternoon which is the closing event of the Festival Sunday 23rd January.
To join the “Foxy Silvers” Coffee club Wednesday 19th Jan at 11:30am, Baker Street Café Gosford please register today at www.coastaltwist.org.au/whats-on
Cooking for one is never much fun!
There’s always more food than you can possibly eat and then there’s all that washing up just for dinner. For some it’s hard to learn how to make smaller meals now the kids have all moved out, even when there’s two of you to feed.
If you’ve had enough of cooking or looking for a few easy meals throughout the week, let me introduce you to Activate Foods. They’re a local family business who have been making healthy & delicious ready made meals from their Erina kitchen & retail store for the past 5 years. Owners, Marty & Megan are passionate about creating meals that taste home made with flavour created from the ground up. Unlike other meal providers, they make just about everything from scratch including stocks, sauces and curry pastes.
So what can you expect from an Activate Foods ready made meal if you haven’t tried one before? Well for one, they’re a great portion and approved by local dietitian Nicole Saliba from Eatsense. They’re a well–balanced meal to ensure you’re getting enough micro & macro nutrients. You can choose between fresh options such as Dukkah Chicken Salad or Lemon, Garlic & Thyme Roast Chicken to keep in the fridge for the week or you can choose from their frozen range, to have on hand any time, such as Beef & Red Wine with sweet potato mash & broccoli or Moroccan Lamb with brown rice & pumpkin.
In their Erina store, they often have people coming in looking for a delicious meal they don’t have to cook for themselves or asking about meal deliveries for their parents to ensure they’re getting enough nutrition when they lose the desire or capability to cook for themselves.
They offer a no fuss buy–as–you go service so there are no contracts or direct debits. Simply order online for home delivery whenever you need it or purchase directly in store.
SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Check out their rotating menu at www.activatefoods.com.au or pop in to their Erina store 7 days a week at 222 The Entrance Rd – Phone 0405 919 306.
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3 Legends in Concert
See Normie Rowe, Dinah Lee and Jade Hurley in concert Three Australian music legends come together to present 3 Legends in Concert!
The line–up includes Australia’s first King of Pop Normie Rowe, the Queen of the Mods Dinah Lee and Australia’s King of Country Rock Jade Hurley. The trio bring back the energy and excitement from the Wonder Years of the Sixties – the perfect reflection of an era. The audience is guaranteed a sensational show of great music and wonderful memories, proudly presented by Bob McKinnon and Brian Fogarty.
NORMIE ROWE AM was Australia’s first King of Pop with hits including “Shakin’ All Over”, “Ohh La La” and “It Ain’t Necessarily So” and starred in a myriad of stage shows including “Annie”, “Chess”, “Evita” and as Jean Valjean in Les Miserables. He has “DONE IT ALL”.
DINAH LEE (the ONE AND ONLY Queen of the MODS) is a New Zealand born SUPERSTAR with her International Number One Hits “Don’t You Know Yockomo”, “Reet Petite” and “Do the Blue Beat” and is acknowledged as New Zealand’s greatest musical import to Australia.
JADE HURLEY OAM dubbed by Johnny O’Keefe as “Australia’s King of Country Rock” is Australia’s very own “Piano Man” with the unique “record” that every record he has released has achieved GOLD, PLATINUM or DOUBLE Status in Australia and New Zealand.
THIS IS NO TRIBUTE SHOW – THIS IS THE REAL DEAL Tour Date: Thursday 24th March, 2022 – Laycock Street Theatre, Gosford NSW 2.00pm and 7.30pm – Bookings: (02) 4323 3233 www.centralcoast.nsw.gov.au/theatres
Bob McKinnon and Brian Fogarty Presents
in concert
normie ROWE dinah LEE jade HURLEY
Don’t miss the chance to relive all the great memories and all the great songs when these three music legends come together for TWO SHOWS ONLY!
Thursday 24 March, 2022 – 2pm MATINEE ALSO a 2nd Performance – 7.30pm LAYCOCK STREET THEATRE
5 Laycock Street, Wyoming BOOK NOW: Box Office: 02 4323 3233
www.centralcoast.nsw.gov.au/theatres
