Sharing the Message Mar/Apr 2016
The Ozark Area Newsletter Vol. 3
ozarkasc.com
STEP
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Message from the PR Subcommittee! If you have any artwork, poems, events or birthdays that you would like to submit for the upcoming newsletter, or subscribe to receive this bi-monthly newsletter please let us know by contacting us at: ozarkareanewsletter@gmail.com
"Made a searching and fearless inventory of
PLEASE NOTE: The opinions expressed herein
ourselves." Once I got to the fourth step, I was terrified. Not knowing what I was going to find
are those of the individual contributor, and not the opinions of the Narcotics Anonymous as a whole.
out about myself was the scariest part. I prayed a lot about this step and spoke to my sponsor. With the help of God and my sponsor, I was able to be open minded and completely honest. Believing that the person I had lived as for so long was a demon; I found by working this step that I was not that demon. I found out who I truly am and even who I am not. This step gave me insight to the changes I needed to make in my attitudes and behaviors. I remember the feeling that I had when I realized that I had never written nor talked about many of my behaviors. They had always just manifested in my mind for years. The feeling I had was freedom and that's what this step did for me. It gave me freedom and it gave me new direction. In Loving Service Paige H. (Against All Odds)
The Handbook for Narcotics Anonymous states that: “The 12 Traditions of NA should serve as the basic guidelines for editing your newsletter… the language of NA recovery should be used.” This newsletter will be examined by our Public Relations Subcommittee before it is distributed to ensure we are keeping in line with our traditions. We welcome any feedback in accordance with our traditions. Please indicate if you would like that feedback published.
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Basic Text Quote! The ultimate weapon for recovery is the recovering addict. (Pg. 15, 6th Edition)
W I LLI N GN E S S Letting go of self I move toward the light, Allowing in a wave of peace and giving up the fight. I didn’t know how truly sick I was Till I surrendered to a spirit watching from above In the midst of chaos, I felt serene I learned what it meant to live my life clean Willingness to try this one day at a time Awakening to a life that could only be mine So I cleaned up the wreckage and took a deep breath I took some suggestions and avoided certain death Through the ups and downs of life and circumstance I learned to stand tall and move with life’s dance I watch those who still suffer and it tears me apart This disease knows no mercy and it breaks my
I a m H e r e B u t I a m N ot I am here but I am not The sun is out yet it feels so dark You are here and then you're not The music plays and then it stops You speak to me then your not Our hearts beat then they stop We are here but we are not The sky is clear so why do I feel the drops Because I am here and you are not.
Jennifer S.
weary heart A chance to live free, in bondage no more I will never take for granted walking through that first door I live and let live, with my hand always there To help the next person and show them I care From a spark my recovery has become a large smolder I am grateful for the chance to turn one year older From willingness to desire and then onto passion I live this life to the fullest and in true recovery fashion Together we do what no man can alone Breathe hope into spirits adrift and find a place called home.
Brenda M. Artwork by Leah J.
Clean Date: Belly Button BDay: Home Group: Favorite NA Slogan:
8-4-14 8-7 Fifth Tradition Give yourself permission to recover.
My name is Lynnette and I just hit my 18 month mark; first time ever in all the years going in and out of the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. I can honestly say this is the first time in all of my past attempts that I truly and honestly want to be clean. What a huge and amazing difference! I come from a family with a very long history of mental illness, addiction, and abuse. All these components add up to a whole lot of chaos, followed by a very cold and empty way of life. So here’s my story…. I was the kid in diapers sneaking the half drank can of beer down the hallway. I can’t really remember a time without the alcohol or drugs in my environment. I grew up believing that drugs and alcohol were a very natural and normal part of life. I was 11 years old when I snorted my first line and I was 19 when I unknowingly made a complete lifestyle change and an ongoing commitment to that needle. It wasn’t until my dad was indicted and me losing my girls to DFS for the second time that it had crossed my mind that there just might be an alternate way of life. As much as I wanted my girls, I couldn’t stay high and I couldn’t be not high. I attempted to check myself into treatment numerous times in Springfield. However, every person I knew, every feeling I had and every decision I made were all very negative forces in my life. So, I went and told on myself that – that I just couldn’t stop and I needed to go to treatment somewhere else; and so my journey in Joplin began. I checked into a women’s treatment center. While I was there, I was presented with a different way of viewing things and a different way of living. I started having supervised visits with girls and during this time, I met one of the most amazing men of my life, John. He was my children’s foster parent and he loved my kids like they were his and he loved me and believed in me like a parent would. I followed up my completion of treatment with a halfway house which at the time was called the Dare House. It was there that I had began to hear the message. From that point on, I knew in my heart of hearts that this is where or what I was gonna have to do to live or survive. “Through our inability to accept personal responsibility, we were actually creating our own problems.” So here was my problem: I knew NA was what was gonna save my life, but I resented all of it. I had encountered so many failed attempts at getting clean because I was doing to despite myself. All of this was accompanied with long term abusive, sick relationships with men who never loved me. There was one relationship in particular that I had found myself doing things I never imagined I would – and the lows were worse and the depths were disturbing. It was here that I lost any kind of self-worth or self-respect. During this time, I had lost my kids for the fourth time and I had found a moment of clarity. This was the time in my life there was a never ending feeling that time stood still and just completely filled with a haunting feeling of emptiness. Just wishing something would happen. Whether it be prison or death. I just wanted something to change. I remember kneeling over my daughter’s bed smoking a bowl with her and just literally bawling that I was tire, so tired. It has taken me a few more attempts since then. Here is where the change for me happened. I heard the phrase, “Give yourself permission to recover.” It changed my life completely. I found a healthy fear of my disease and I took some suggestions. So to the addict who feels like they’re tired of trying or tired of picking up that white keytag, I would like to say to you that you matter and there is in fact an addict that needs to hear your story. In loving service, Lynnette B.
January / February Anniversaries Patrick M. Peggy S. Laura D. Vicki A. Sandy B.
10 yrs. 11 yrs. 14 yrs. 14 yrs. 23 yrs.
Against All Odds
Kim S. Katie L. Dwayne S. Sheri E. Sandee A. Mike S. Doug B.
1 yr. 1 ½ yr. 3 yrs. 9 yrs. 14 yrs. 15 yrs. 16 yrs.
But Do It
Lynnette B. Justin A. Brandy G.
1 ½ yr. 1 ½ yr. 2 yrs.
Fifth Tradition
John S. Joe S.
1 yr. 3 yrs.
Miracles
John E. Gary M. Andrea R.
2 yrs. 4 yrs. 15 yrs.
Spiritual Principles
Chris M. Prevance B. Vickie M. Ray Mc. Ray S.
1 yr. 5 yrs. 13 yrs. 25 yrs. 27 yrs.
We Do Recover
TOTAL CLEANTIME IS:
232.5 YRS!
My name is Jocelyn and I’m an addict. When I first came to Narcotics Anonymous I had no trust in anything. I did not trust the people, myself, the principles, the program, the process, the steps let alone a sponsor. And because of the lack of trust I was not able to stay clean. One day I realized that if I don’t take the risk I will never be able to stay clean. Besides I told myself that if I could trust some participating addict to give me good drugs and not steal my money to get me high (often times it was a bust), then I could make the effort to trust in the program of Narcotics Anonymous. What is trust? The dictionary states, “trust is to believe in the reliability, truth, ability strength of…” Wow, scary idea, huh? Well, take baby steps I was told. So, I took a moment to actively seek a sponsor who portrayed the spiritual principles the program talks about. I found someone who had integrity, was honest, caring, shared hope, and purposely lived a program with oodles of unconditional love. Her whole desire in life is to stay clean and help the still suffering addict. When she agreed to sponsor me, she showed me things I would have never dreamed possible. She not only gained my trust she taught me how to be trustworthy. Today, I’m able to trust in the process, the program, the principles, others and most importantly myself. The program of Narcotics Anonymous not only gave me freedom from active addiction, it gave me a life worth living and a belief system of the sky’s the limit. Jocelyn B. (But Do It)
Life before recovery was all about survival. Now I don’t just have to survive and live my life by default. It takes a huge amount of courage for me to make choices on a daily basis. It takes courage in order to be part of living life and not just surviving misery - in my disease and my ignorance. Growing up takes courage. So does subjecting everything I know about the truth of the world and myself to revision and changing my behaviors. The more I feel the need for change and the pain of staying the same, the stronger my desire and the deeper my courage to do something different becomes. Things like: getting and investing time in a sponsor, going to different meetings, sharing where I’m at, and building a relationship with a higher power through actions like prayer and meditation. Reading our recovery literature, getting to know and becoming part of other members’ lives outside of meetings are a few things that have also been important to me on my journey. In active addiction, I wasted a lot of courage doing things that made me and my life worse, only to find myself in meetings – clean and terrified, or unwilling to do things that would make me and my life better. In recovery, it’s the new and healthy suggestions we take that helps us gain a courage that goes beyond what we are capable of alone. If it wasn’t for the mustard seed of courage to “keep coming back” to meetings and the desperation to surrender, first to the disease, then to working this program, I wouldn’t have known the depths possible to my courage. Throughout our journey in life and recovery, opportunities will present themselves to us whether they’re from our higher power, life on life’s terms or the disease of addition. We will face crossroads. If we do what we’ve always done – run, get high, ignore and distract ourselves, we’ll never grow, but if were courageous enough to do something different, the next right thing, and utilize the tools of the program, they will take us to places we’ve never been and we’ll become a different person. Ultimately, I believe that the process of the NA program has helped me become more of the man I was intended to be all along. Without the drugs, bad influences, and poor decisions I made due to the fear I lived with, and the character defects that I used to just survive in this world in my skin and in my head. Thanks for letting me be of service. Anonymous
What Service Work Has Done for Me and My Recovery When I first came to Narcotics Anonymous, I hated myself. Some people talk about how they couldn’t look at themselves in the mirror. I could look at myself and I would say the most hateful things to myself, like ”you’re a piece of s**t, you’ll never amount to anything, you don’t deserve to live….” Really, I did think that I was a monster that poisoned the whole world around me. So to say that I had low self-esteem when I came to recovery was an understatement. Then something really cool happened. I had somewhere between 60-90 days clean and my home group was having a business meeting. This girl who I really looked up to asked me if I was going to stay for the business meeting and I thought “me? Are you sure you want me to stay?” I felt like I had been invited to a special club, when really any home group member is welcome to go to the business meeting. At that business meeting, they asked me if I would be willing to chair a meeting on Thursday nights. Again, I wondered if they really wanted ME to chair a meeting— the same person who had done horrible things while I was using, the same person who felt like they were never good enough. But I agreed to chair the Thursday night meeting. They gave me a key to the meeting hall (which was my very first key to put on my clean time key tags!). I showed up every week to chair that meeting. I got there early and made coffee. I stayed late and cleaned up. I got to know people in recovery. I attended business meetings. I started to feel a part of, instead of apart from, everyone else. I chaired that meeting for a long time. What I got from it and how it helped my recovery is something I am very grateful for today. I felt good about myself for showing up and chairing that meeting every week. It was the first thing that I felt good about myself doing in a REALLY LONG TIME! When I thought about using, I would think about having to give that key back and not chair that meeting and it was enough to keep me clean. That key meant so much to me, because people trusted me for the first time in years and I followed through on a commitment I made (which I hadn’t done in a long time). Chairing that meeting, along with working steps, staying clean, and finding a Higher Power, allowed me to build up some selfesteem. I no longer feel like that horrible monster---I actually like myself today. And that took A LOT of work for me to be able to say that! When I get involved in service work, it helps me feel like I belong. When I started going to business meetings, I got to know other addicts. When I started going to area business meetings, I got to know addicts from other towns. It helped me build my foundation and really good friendships, like I’d never had before. For years, I never felt a part of ANYTHING—I always felt different and less than. Service work allowed me to feel like I belonged; like I mattered. Finally, service work—whether it’s H & I (whoop whoop!), making coffee, chairing a meeting, being GSR, sponsoring, being secretary, or any of the various ways that we can do service work —allows us to give back to our fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. When I got here, people took me under their wing and taught me how to stay clean and find a new way to live. Every day, addicts listen to me and share their experience, strength, and hope. Narcotics Anonymous helped me develop a life that is really worth living today. I know that I can never repay that debt. But service work allows me to give back what was freely given to me and share the message of hope with others. After all, I can only keep what I have by giving it away. Grateful Recovering Addict
We Do Recover 27th Birthday March 19, 2016, 6:30 pm New Creation Church – 18th & Connor
Ozark Area Service Committee Meeting
March 20, 2016 Subcommittees at 12 – 3p, Business meeting at 3p
For everyone that contributed to this newsletter. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. Your words inspire and encourage the readers as they continue on this journey we call “Recovery!” PR SUBCOMMITTEE
Show Me Region Narcotics Anonymous Meeting April 8-10, 2016 Howard Johnson – Columbia, MO PR Subcommittee Flyer Day
April 16, 2016 - 1:30 pm – Garvin Park
H&I Speaker Jam
April 23, 2016 – 2:30 to 5:30 – Salvation Army For more information on these events, see the flyers in your home group OR on our Area’s website:
www.ozarkasc.com
“We admitted to God, to ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” I can recall like it was yesterday, doing a fourth and fifth for the first time. At the time, my sponsor Steve G. was out of town working. I had my own apartment and I was involved in a relationship that I had no business being in. So, I came up with this idea to work a fourth and fifth with my girlfriend’s ex because I knew he would cosign my sh*t; or so I thought he would. As I’m working my fourth with him, he’s steadily calling me on my sh*t. I felt total humiliated as I should have. But when we got to my fifth, I thought to myself I’m not sure I even want to go thru with this. But as I’m going through my fifth with him, something was happening that was much bigger than what I had previously thought. I started to experience love, compassion, and empathy. You see, there have been many times before I was too scared to reveal who I really was because I thought that if you really knew me, then you wouldn’t accept me for me. This step is better known as “Surgery of the Spirit.” We’ve opened up old wounds and exposed our most carefully constructed lies for the deceptions they were, and we’ve told some painful truths. We’ve dropped our masks in the presence of another person. Our relationships begin to change after this step including the one we have with the God of our understanding. I know for me, it lead to the very insight needed for the exact nature of my wrongs and the exact nature of those wrongs turned out to be my character defects for Step Six. What a journey it has been thus far.
Love, KL W.
*pg numbers from the Sixth Edition
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EclipseCrossword.com
Down 1. "We MUST ______ what was done to us from what we did to others." - pg. 38 2. "Our Sixth Tradition tells us some of the things we MUST do to ____________ and protect our primary purpose." - pg. 69 3. "We MUST realize that we are not ____." - pg. 36 4. "We MUST carefully choose the______ who is to hear our fifth step. We MUST make sure that they know what we are doing and why we are doing it." - pg. 32 5. It is said that for ______ to be of value, the results MUST show in our daily lives." - pg. 47 7. "We MUST totally _______ ourselves to the program." - pg. 84 9. "If we have _________ , it is important to keep in mind that we MUST get back to meetings as soon as possible." - pg. 83. 12."We MUST, use what we learn or we will lose it, no matter how ____ we have been clean." pg. 85 13."Our experience tells us that we MUST become willing ________ this step will have any effect." - pg. 37 14."We MUST give up this old ______ and face the fact that reality and life go on, whether we choose to accept them or not." - pg. 55 15."An _________ of recovery in our groups is one of the most valued assets, and we MUST guard it carefully, lest we lose it to politics and
recover." - pg. 18 19."When we are prepared, we MUST try out our newly found way of life. We learn -the program won't work when we try to ____ it to our life. We MUST learn to _______ our life to the program." - pg. 57 20."We MUST remember the ____ that they have known." - pg. 41 22."A second admission MUST be made before our ________ is complete." pg. 21 Explanation: It is not enough to admit that we are powerless over drugs, we MUST also admit that our lives had become unmanageable. 25."We MUST face our _____ and our feelings." pg. 15 26."Eventually we are shown that we MUST get ______ or we will use again."- pg. 85 29."We MUST give freely and ______ that which has been freely and _____ given to us." - pg. 49 30."Assets MUST also be considered, if we are to get an accurate and complete ____ of ourselves." - pg. 29 31."We MUST live and work ________ as a group to ensure that in a storm our ship does not sink and our members do not perish." -pg. 63 36."We MUST smash the _____ that we can do it alone."- pg. 85 37."We MUST relearn many things that we have forgotten and develop a new approach to life if we are to _______. " - pg. 81 38."Staying clean MUST always come ___." - pg. 85 39."We MUST use what we learn or we will __ it in
Across 6. "Some things we MUST accept, ______ we can change." - pg. 95 8. "Everything that occurs in the course of N.A.________ MUST be motivated by the desire to more successfully carry the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers. - pg. xxvi 10."We MUST be _____ ." - pg. 33 11."We MUST remember that ______ have been placed in trust that we are trusted servants, and that at no time do any of us govern." - pg. 64 15."Some things we MUST ____, others we can change." - pg. 95 16."In order to receive we MUST be willing to _____." . pg 107 17."Our disease involved much more than just using drugs, so our recovery MUST involve much more than simple______" - pg- 55 18."No matter how painful life's ______ can be for us, one thing is clear we MUST not use no matter what!" -pg.102 21."To improve ourselves takes effort and since there is no way in the world to ___ a new idea on a closed mind, an opening MUST be made somehow." - pg. 78 23."Recovery found in Narcotics Anonymous MUST come from within, and no one stays ___ for anyone but themselves." - pg. 83 24."We MUST be done with the ____ and not cling to it." - pg. 29 27."When we feel the old urges come over us, we think there MUST be something wrong with us, and that other people in Narcotics Anonymous couldn't possibly __________ " - pg. 82 28."We MUST always remember that as individual members, groups, and service committees we are not and should never be in ______ with each other." pg. xxvi 32."Although He already knows, the ____________ MUST come from our own lips to be truly effective. Step five is not simply a reading of step four. - pg. 32 33."We realize we MUST do _________ . - pg. 81 34."We MUST first understand what N.A. is. Narcotics Anonymous is addicts who have the desire to stop using, and have ___ together to do so." - pg. 73 35."As with each step we MUST, be ________ .. -pg. 39 37."We never know when the time will come when we MUST put forth all the effort and _____ we have just to stay clean." - pg. 96 40.. "We come here _______ and the power that we seek comes to us through other people in Narcotics Anonymous, but we MUST reach out for it." - pg. 83 41."___ is a MUST in Narcotics Anonymous." - pg. 63 42."In order to achieve our _____ aim, Narcotics Anonymous MUST be known and respected." - pg. 74 43."We MUST be_____ to do whatever is necessary to recover." - pg. 96 44."We MUST be constantly on guard that our decisions are truly an ______ of God's will."