Sharing the Message May/June 2016
The Ozark Area Newsletter Vol. 4
ozarkasc.com
STEP
7 In many ways Step Seven represents a turning point in the recovery process. It forms a bridge between the inner work of the first six steps and the final steps which emphasizes the outer work – the changes in our behavior. Our shortcomings may seem to clutter our personal road out of the past. Just because we are working steps doesn’t mean our life is as it should be. We can ask God to change our attitudes. When He deals with our pride, we will be able to stop hiding behind our reputation. We can allow ourselves to become “anonymous”, each of us known just as another person struggling with addiction.
Sandee A. (But Do It)
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Basic Text Quote! Yes, we are a vision of hope. We are examples of the program working. The joy that we have in living clean is an attraction to the addict who still suffers. (Pg. 53, 6th Edition)
I have to say the only spotlight that's ever been on me was from a police car or helicopter, so this is for sure a new experience! HA! In all seriousness I am extremely grateful to be clean today and have been given the opportunity to be of service to the fellowship that has truly shown this addict that recovery is possible for ANY addict. You know my story before Narcotics Anonymous is a lot like many other people’s. I was born into an addicted family that was full of abuse, hate and dysfunction. My early childhood memories are seeing my mom get beat half to death, always seeing my dad screwed up on something, moving from place to place and always feeling alone. I learned how to disconnect on many levels at a very young age because nothing was ever stable or consistent in my life. I honestly couldn't tell you how many schools I went to and all the places I lived while growing up until about the age of 10, I never really connected with anyone and don't have any childhood friends. My mom finally got away from my dad when I was around 5 I think and being a single mom she did what she had to do for us to survive. Sometimes that meant working 2-3 jobs at a time so I spent a lot of time alone locked up in an apartment not allowed to answer the door or answer the phone because mom didn't want people knowing I was home alone. My social skills were terrible, I didn't know how to fit in and really had got to a point where I didn't want to because there was no point because I knew I would be moving before long anyways. I learned how to stuff my feelings in so many ways, but when I found drugs I found my in! I started smoking pot regularly when I was around 11. I liked the way it made me feel and the way it made me not feel. A few years went by, I was in the 7th grade and I got caught at school selling some pot in the bathroom. I had to go through a counseling type session and manipulated my way through that and was back in school within a couple of days. By this time my mom had remarried. We became stable and my life completely changed. I was in the same school system, was making friends, got involved in sports and I was the happiest I had ever been in my life! We ended up moving out of the school district but I kept going to the same school and life remained the same until the school found out that I was not in district anymore. I remember being so mad and thinking, “Why me?” While all this was happening, my grandpa was dying and he was my everything. When my grandpa passed away December 20, 1988, my entire life took a turn that no one saw coming. From this point forward, everything was about the getting, using and finding ways and means to get more. I saw people all around me going to prison and literally dying in front of my very eyes. I went to treatment on December 23, 1997, played the game got through the 28 days and went on about my business, 9 days later - loaded. Things got worse and got there fast. I found myself in places I had never been before. I was pissed at God and everyone around me. Everything was something or someone else’s fault, just like the rest of my life. I was at the end of the road and I didn't know what to do so I tried to get back into treatment, and it wasn't an easy road. I finally got in and got clean, really clean for the first time in many years on May 17, 1998. I moved to Joplin after getting out of treatment and that's when I went to my first Narcotics Anonymous meeting at We Do Recover. This is where my journey in recovery really begin. I did everything that was suggested. I got a sponsor, went to 90 meetings in 90 days, got the literature, started working steps, started praying, got involved in service and bottom line found freedom that I didn't even know existed. Days grew into months, months grew into years and I was in a place I had never been before in my life. Because of the gifts of recovery, I really became a responsible, productive member of society both in and out of the rooms. I was able to obtain a carrier where I was respected and I loved what I did. Because of recovery, I was able to travel all over and experience Narcotics Anonymous from the group level to the world level. Over time I slowly took back my will and my life and found myself backed in that corner that the Basic Text talks about. The disease started telling me that I didn't have a disease. I started to believe that I wasn't an addict anymore, that I was really young when I got clean and that I just needed to grow up and thank God for the program because of it I had grown up. There’s a whole lot more to it but bottom line is I stepped away from everything that got me clean. The sponsor, steps, meetings, service was no longer needed because I had already made the decision. I got loaded in January of 2010 and life stopped. From that point forward, it was all about me and everything spun out of control. The things I "never" did - I ended up doing. I quickly turned back into the liar, the thief, the angry lost person I was in 1998. I lost my career, became homeless and stopped living one day at a time and started living one bag at a time. I was more lost, lonely and empty on the inside than I had ever been before. I was suicidal, spiritually bankrupt, physically broken and hopeless. I had gotten to the point where I had exhausted every character defect and asset I had left and nothing worked. I was on the run from the law
facing two pretty serious felonies and had gotten to the point that I knew turning myself in would probably save my life. I was at the end of the road and I knew there was a different, way but was convinced that it wouldn't work for me again. I had gone too far. I was a lost cause. I remember talking to God and telling Him that I couldn't go any more, I was in tears asking why and said, “please help me.� I finally fell asleep and my new clean date is December 13, 2014. It took me about 3 weeks before I could make it out of the house but when I did I went to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. I was ashamed and still believed that it wouldn't work for me but I just kept going. I had people hug me, tell me that they loved me, and to keep coming back. That's what I did, I kept coming back. I got a sponsor, went to 90 meetings in 90 days, started working steps, got a home group, got involved and out of myself and started talking to God again instead of at Him. It's been so humbling to experience recovery again, to realize that I am that any addict. I am so grateful for the people that I have had in my life that taught me how to live because that experience is so valuable to me today. I am fully aware of who and what I am today. I am also fully aware the I can't survive without Narcotics Anonymous, sponsorship, the steps, meetings and God. I wake up every day grateful that I am clean, that I want to live today and I am able to enjoy life again. My stories not over... Never Alone Never Again, Just another addict
March and April Anniversaries
Anna S. – 2 yrs. Ali D – 8 yrs. Yvonne G. – 29 yrs.
But Do It
Pat D. – 33 yrs.
Fifth Tradition
Toni H. – 18 mos. Marty A. – 4 yrs. Lucas Q. – 5 yrs. Althea W. – 31 yrs.
Point of Turning
Dakota P. – 1 yr. Daniel A. – 2 yrs. Karen C. – 10 yrs.
Spiritual Principles
ARE WE THERE YET? We don’t give up on ourselves We don’t allow ourselves to get in our way We give ourselves a break We become part of “No matter what” And no compromise No matter what, I’ll do what it takes not to pick up
Mike H. – 1 yr. James D. – 1 yr. Mike P. – 2 yrs. Walt R. – 2 yrs. Keith C. 2 yrs. Chrysta C. – 4 yrs. Bruce A. – 15 yrs. Gary K. – 20 yrs. Bob G. – 30 yrs. Pam M. – 31 yrs. Shelly W. – 31 yrs. Kitty G. – 32 yrs.
We Do Recover
TOTAL CLEAN TIME IS:
297.5 years!
Little by little we become better There’s nothing we can’t do together Like birds of a feather We flock together We share experience, strength, and hope We speak to a power of choice It understands our pain and struggles We allow it to give us strength and courage We become happy, we have fun We get to live love Little by little, day by day, hour by hour Minute by minute, we gain power To know nothing about everything We live simply, so others might simply live No other way than the NA way.
Wade J.
I'm an addict named Amanda and my clean date is August 15th, 2006. I was asked to share about humility and to show my gratitude to the NA program I am willing to help - even when it's uncomfortable. The Basic Text defines humility as acceptance of both our assets and our liabilities. As someone who works in the accounting field I found comfort in understanding that this meant both the good and the not-so-good parts of me. The seventh step "We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings," focuses the power that humility truly holds. It has always been my favorite step. In the past it has brought me relief from step six and the character defects that I had become painfully aware of. In fact, the step working guide states that step seven "may be the point when we first feel a sense of compassion for ourselves". It goes on to state that "it's deeply moving to realize for the first time that we're truly just human and trying our best." In my childhood, in my active addiction, and at times in recovery, I have struggled with perfectionism and feeling unworthy. My sponsor was the first person I was able to be completely honest with and she accepted every part of me, even the ugly parts I tried to hide from the rest of the world. She was practicing humility with me and showing me how to apply this spiritual principle to my life. It took a while for me to be able to practice this new spiritual principle with myself and others. What I found when I practiced humility was peace. I no longer had to judge myself or others for being human. Instead of criticizing myself and others I felt compassion and understanding. Without humility I would not have been able to find forgiveness with myself or others. Once I was able to realize that I am human - no better or less than anyone else - I could look at some of the things I had done that were still causing me shame and guilt. I could finally see the situation for what it really was. This does not mean that I could excuse my behavior, it just meant that I could see myself as an addict who was doing the best I could in active addiction. Today I know better so I can do better. Practicing humility gave me freedom! Once I was able to do this with myself I could finally forgive others. This was the greatest gift recovery gave me. Thank you Narcotics Anonymous.
Ozark Area Service Committee Meeting May 22, 2016 Subcommittees at 12 – 3p, Business meeting at 3p
For everyone that contributed to this newsletter. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. Your words inspire and encourage the readers as they continue on this journey we call “Recovery!”
Show Me Region Narcotics Anonymous Meeting July 8-10, 2016 Howard Johnson – Columbia, MO
PR SUBCOMMITTEE
Ozark Area Annual High on Life Picnic August 12-14, 2016 Roaring River State Park – Camp Smokey SMRCNA 2016 August 26-28, 2016 Jefferson City, MO For more information on these events, see the flyers in your home group OR on our Area’s website:
www.ozarkasc.com
When I first entered NA I was very intimidated. It wasn't the program or people, it was recovery that scared me. Everything I was about to endure was new territory including committing to change in a new way of life. Walking into an NA meeting, I was welcomed with open arms. Though still lost and anxious, I was told to just keep coming back, so I did. As I listened to people share I learned every individual has their own stories and problems, but together we all want the same thing. And in this journey through life, knowing I wasn't alone gave me hope in my recovery. I continue to learn so much about myself and a life I only dreamed of. Thanks to the fellowship of the NA program, recovery is possible. Nicole P.
This step was the step that had the most impact on my life, my character, in my first set of steps. My sponsor told me to pray for willingness and stop there (actually she said, and shut up). But I was determined to do this perfectly, haha, so I prayed for the willingness and then added things like willingness to not be greedy. Oh how funny the God of my understanding is, as situations showed up over and over again that showed my greed. I did not like it. The step working guide tells me that applying the spiritual principle of willingness means, very simply, that we are willing to act differently. It does not necessarily mean that we will act differently or even that we're capable of doing so.
In my first set of steps I really looked at honesty. Part of that honesty was not taking things that don’t belong to me…stealing. That sounded simple enough. I know it’s wrong, it can’t be that hard. Once I made that decision to not steal (not to be willing to not steal but to NOT steal), I was amazed at how often I the opportunity presented itself and how often the thought of ‘nobody would know’ rolled around in my mind. But it was this part of the step working guide that I held close to me: ‘Even if we're not consciously aware of it, even if we sleep just fine at night, the result of acting on a defect when we have the ability not to is an impairment of our spiritual growth. If we continue being unwilling, we'll eventually paralyze our spiritual growth.’ I was loving the spiritual growth. I could see God working in my life. I did not want to do anything that was going to PARALYZE that growth. Now here I am with close to 7 years clean and still criminal thinking comes to my mind first in many instances. I tell myself that something is wrong with me, that I am not ever going to be ok. My character is who I am. I developed ways of getting my needs met in addiction, even before using drugs. I was an active addict for 30 years, more than half my life. I am not a bad person because of my defects. I am a human, learning to live more spiritually. Sometimes I fail miserably, and it causes me pain. I learn from that pain and become more willing for the next situation. Today, I have a life I could never have imagined. It takes work to keep that. I am willing to do that work because I want to keep what I have. More importantly I want to be the kind of person that is loved and can love others. I want to walk with my Higher Power and I can’t do that with a paralyzed spiritual growth. Just for today, I have willingness…. Thanks for letting me share, my name is Kim and I am an addict.
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All of the words in the puzzle can be found in the "Sixth Edition Basic Text" Chapter Three pages 13 - 16
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"We are _________ _ seeking recovery." (pg 13) 15 5. "Any _______ of getting better disappeared." (pg 15) 16 8. "Although we are not ________ 17 for our disease, we are 18 responsible for our recovery;" (pg 15) 19 20 21 22 10. "Most of us realized that in our 23 addiction we were __________ 24 25 26 committing suicide..." (pg 13) 15. "We are _____ free." (pg 16) 27 16. "Our disease can only be 28 arrested through ________ ." (pg 16) 29 17. "We were searching for an _______ when we reached out and found Narcotics Anonymous." (pg 15) 19. "We sought _______ by using 30 again and again..." (pg 14) 21. "We find that we suffer from a EclipseCrossword.com Learning to use our literature helps us stay clean, the solutions are always in there. disease, not a _______________ dilemma." (pg 16) degraded ourselves in our own eyes." 23. "Surrounded by fellow addicts, Down (pg 15) we realized that we were not 14. "Often doctors didn't understand our _______ anymore." (pg 15) 1. "We seemed to be incapable of facing ________." (pg 14) 24. "After coming to N.A. we _____ on its own terms." (pg 13) 18. "We _________ our surroundings and realized we were _____ people." 3. "Many of us _______ to support our living situations for our problems." (pg (pg 13) habit." (pg 13) 14) 27. "We ________ to change our 4. "It is a great gift to feel ________ 20. "Regardless of what we tried, we playmates, playgrounds and again." (pg 16) could not ________ from our disease." playthings." (pg 16) 6. "_________ had become our way of (pg 14) 29. "This is a program for life and self-esteem was non-existent." 22. "We placed their use ahead of the ________." (pg 16) (pg 15) ________ of our families, our wives, 30. "Before coming to the 7. "Acceptance leads to _________." (pg husbands, and our children." (pg 13) Fellowship of N.A., we could 16) 25. "...or sought help through medicine, not _______ our own lives." (pg 9. "Any form of ____________ _ was _______ and psychiatry." (pg 13) 13) frightening and unfamiliar." (pg 14) 26. "We were addicts and did not _______ 11. "Helplessness, emptiness and it." (pg 14) ________ became our way of life." 28. "We tried substituting one _________ (pg 15) for another but this only prolonged our 12. "The progression of the __________ pain." (pg 14) was not apparent to us." (pg 14) 11
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