Sharing the Message September / October 2016
The Ozark Area Newsletter Vol. 6
ozarkasc.com
Message from the PR Subcommittee! If you have any artwork, poems, events or birthdays that you would like to submit for the upcoming newsletter, or subscribe to receive this bi-monthly newsletter please let us know by contacting us at: ozarkareanewsletter@gmail.com http://cte-yakima.org/perseverance-word-of-the-month/
Perseverance: Webster definition- The quality that allows someone to continue trying to do something even though it is difficult. I began my journey of recovery as Feb 8, 2003. This was 131/2yrs ago. Even today I have to motivate myself to persevere in my daily life, continuing to be of service, to take meetings to City jail, County jail, and to other institutions. Also being of service on the Narcotics Anonymous hotline for several years.
Six months into recovery I was in a 3 car crash being the middle car. I suffered 3-4 degrees burns on my neck and light burns on my face and upper chest. The rest of me was bruised very badly from breast to upper thigh. Also my car was totaled. With assistance from my sponsor and my spouse and friends in N.A., I received my 6 month key tag and recovered wonderfully. Throughout my recovery I have dealt with death of loved ones and health issues - from Type2 diabetes to severe sleep apnea. But, I continue to work steps and sponsor women in recovery to remind me that I can persevere through anything as long as I continue the process of using my tools of Narcotics Anonymous.
An addict Vickie M.
PLEASE NOTE: The opinions expressed herein
are those of the individual contributor, and not the opinions of the Narcotics Anonymous as a whole. The Handbook for Narcotics Anonymous states that: “The 12 Traditions of NA should serve as the basic guidelines for editing your newsletter… the language of NA recovery should be used.” This newsletter will be examined by our Public Relations Subcommittee before it is distributed to ensure we are keeping in line with our traditions. We welcome any feedback in accordance with our traditions. Please indicate if you would like that feedback published.
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Living Clean Quote! WE don’t think our way into a new way of living, we live our way into a new way of thinking. (Pg. 23)
Home Group: Clean Date: Favorite Slogan:
Miracles 9-23-06 No Matter What
I was born and raised in St. Louis. There was a lot of domestic violence and alcoholism in my family. Both of my parents divorced and remarried a couple of times – each having children with their new spouses, so sometimes I felt like the odd ball. That continued into adulthood – the feeling of being different, and a lot of times, feeling alone. I found out I was an adoptive child when I was 21. I was so hurt and angry that they would keep that from me. I was pregnant and my husband had just left me. And the timing of all of that was more than I could bear and I wanted to die. I walked through life very angry and lost because I felt as if I no longer had an identity. I felt rejected by my birth parents, any my parents (as I knew them), kept a huge lie going for 21 years. I didn’t really know it at that moment, but what I subconsciously doing was going through the years trying bury the hurt and anger; with gambling, to various relationships and marriages, to finally crack cocaine. Drugs allowed me to be a victim. They allowed me to forget about being a rejected child. They allowed me forget about failed relationships and marriages. They allowed me to forget about the abusive relationship. The drugs allowed me to escape reality and they allowed me not to feel. Cocaine became my best friend, my lover, my god. My drug of choice and I had an intense love affair with so many highs and lows. But oh, as with most things, there was a price to pay. I went from being that mom that went to the band concerts and sports practices to the mom that was stealing my kids’ savings and disappearing for days. I became that mom that would spend the last money on dope rather than food. I wanted to stop many times. I actually stopped many times, but I couldn’t stay stopped. I’d tell myself, “just one more.” There’s no such thing as “just one more” for an addict like me because one is too many and a thousand never enough. Thankfully, on September 23, 2006 my family practiced some tough love. No more coming to my rescue. No place to go. No one to talk to. I was desperate, completely broken and bankrupt. The lowest day of my life turned out to be the best day of my life, but I didn’t know it at that time. I had a Divine appointment. I called so many treatment centers and there were no available beds. I closed the phone book and broke down pleading with God to help me. A voice whispered, “Open the phone book back up and look again.” I did. There was one I missed. I called and there was a bed for me! It was through H&I that I heard the message of hope. Thank God for H&I! I went through treatment and upon completion, I asked to be sent to a long term facility. It took me a while to wholly and completely get involved in my recovery. I fell into the trap of thinking social acceptability equaled recovery. I did the bare minimum. After years of being clean but being miserable I decided to make a change and do what I saw my predecessors doing. I got involved in service and have remained involved in service in one form or another. I follow the suggestions outlined. I try to live by the spiritual principles outlined in this program. Those things I used to do in active addiction – I don’t do those things today. I have a loving God in my life. My God and I have a loving, intimate relationship. I have a whole fellowship of people that love me and want to help me in my recovery. So, this is the year of the decade for me and by far, this has been the hardest year in my recovery journey. From health issues, to being laid off from my job a couple of months ago, to trying to find employment, being, to being a student, to trying to make sure my mom is ok in St. Louis; where she is in a nursing home, to holding several service positions. Some days it feels like I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I can’t seem to get the dating thing right – I guess because at 51, I finally realized my worth and won’t settle for less than God’s best. I’ve decided that it’s ok being alone. And there is a difference between being alone and lonely. This gives me the time to focus on my relationship with God, get more involved in my own recovery – learning the real Meri, and focus on school and finding a decent job. Thank you NA for giving me a life (even on the hard days), thought I never thought possible.
11th Step – Prayer & Meditation This journey in my recovery has been such a positive thing in my life. In the beginning of my recovery, I struggled with a Power greater than me. That relationship has grown over the last 27 years. Prayer has really impacted my life. When I hit a brick wall and I don’t have the answers, I have learned to pray and ask my Higher Power for help. Just like it took a long time to learn to ask others for help, the same happened with my Higher Power. But because I have learned that my Higher Power hears my prayers and answers my prayers, I don’t have to be so controlling or crazy trying to find the answer. I can trust that my Higher Power has my very best interest at heart. My tough part of this step even today is to be still and meditate; to quite the mind and listen to what my Higher Power has to say. Not that I hear voices, but the Spirit will move me sometimes in a mighty way. But because I have the connection with my Higher Power, I am willing to follow direction. So in June of 2014, I got this thought that came into my head. My parents were getting older. My dad has Alzheimer’s and my mother doesn’t drive. I am living in St. Louis – where my two children and 4 granddaughters live. I am very close to my children and these sweet babies. I had been trying to buy a house in St. Louis. In fact, I even put two bids on two different houses but nothing went through. I found three houses in Aurora to look at. Two were right up the street from my parents’ home. I came home, bought a house and transferred with my job. My mother died in May of this year. I was able to be with her the last 18 months of her life. We had to put my father in a nursing home after my mother was diagnosed with the cancer in January 2016. I am forever grateful that my Higher Power put me back here to help my sweet parents. I was able to give back after all I had put them through in active addiction. I am so grateful for Step 11 and the way that it moves us closer to our Higher Powers. The steps are such a fabulous way to really recover and heal from the horrors of our addiction! If you have not worked them, I encourage you to get a sponsor and work the steps – in the order they are written. You will be surprised at what a difference they will make in your life. Remember, we have a choice. I hope and pray that you choose to recover and live. In Loving Service, Michelle L. 5-2-89
I'm Ed and addict with one disease. My disease has many different symptoms. I suffer from a disease of more. More of anything that will change my feelings. I used many things to change the way I felt. I was addicted to drugs, sex, gambling, stealing, and any kind of abuse that caused more pain. I didn't know that until I started working the program of Narcotics Anonymous. Working steps with a sponsor has opened my eyes and gave me an understanding of what the disease of addiction means to me. I'm a member because they told me when I got here that the only requirement for membership was to have a desire to stop using. I found that desire by working the program of Narcotics Anonymous, not Ed's program. When I introduce myself as an addict, then I know I don't need to say anything more. I'm not an addict and a _____. I'm just an addict. You see, I'm addicted to everything that changes the way I feel. If introduced myself as an addict and a whatever, that implies that I have more than one disease. I'm addict that works just one program. The program of Narcotics Anonymous.
STEP TEN I'm an addict and my name is Marty. The following is my experience, strength, and hope on the Tenth Step of Narcotics Anonymous: Not only is the Narcotics Anonymous program about stopping the use of drugs and losing the desire to use; Recovery in Narcotics Anonymous is about learning how to live. I gained the tool I needed that would help me sustain a new way of life from the Tenth Step. I have been clean for over 8 years, and one thing I know from my own experience is that the disease of Addiction has not let off the gas for one second. I got a disease that can't wait to get me caught in its cross hairs so that it can set me up to knock me off the count! The previous steps helped me get in touch with the deadly nature of the disease of Addiction. I have accepted the full measure of my disease, and understand that its aim is always jails, institutions, dereliction, and death. For that reason, I choose to practice the spiritual principles of integrity, vigilance and selfdiscipline to the best of my ability on a DAILY basis. These are spiritual principles that I have found crucial to the Tenth Step. In the last 8 years, the disease of Addiction has shown up in my life in the form of many manifestations other than the uncontrollable use of drugs. In my experience, I can, and have, become the same dishonest fraud, the same thief, and the same cheater that I was in active Addiction. It took me 6 years to finish a 4 year college degree because I was dishonest about my attendance, or lack thereof, because I was lazy and wouldn't finish assignments, and because I chose to cheat the system and cheat myself. I've been fired from jobs in early recovery because of no call/no shows, abusing sick time, and not following other policies. I was never able to sustain any kind of intimate relationship with a significant other because of character defects, lies, manipulation, and self-deceit. All the while, I kept lots of these behaviors a secret because I was afraid to look at myself and share honestly about what was really going on with me. Steps Four, Five, Six, and Seven were tools that allowed me to inventory those patterns at about 3 years clean, and I had some breakthroughs. But it was my Tenth Step that gave me what I needed to continue in my new found beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, and ideas! See, in It Works: How & Why, it states "Self-examination, confronting what we find in ourselves, and owning up to our wrongs are critical elements of conducting our lives on a spiritual basis." If I'm not continuing to take personal inventory and promptly owning up to my wrongs, then I'm short circuiting my opportunities to grow spiritually. I have found that being transparent about my life has propelled me forward; where before I used to keep quiet about my life and it only buried me. Today, I share honestly with my sponsor, I write out inventories, I tell on myself, I make myself visible in meetings, and I live with the most integrity that I've ever lived with in my entire life! Man, what a great gift, and what a tremendous amount of freedom that gives me! Today, I'm a college grad, I'm a 3 time All-American in NCAA athletics, I'm a Juvenile Probation Officer for the state of Nebraska, and I'm engaged to be married. I have been in a committed relationship for over 5 years thanks to the spiritual principles of honesty, integrity, and self-discipline. I was able to stop cheating in school. I was able to stop taking advantage of my employers. I was able to quit stepping out in my relationships and give all of myself to one person. Thanks to a Tenth Step inventory, and some fortitude, I'm able to maintain this way of life. The Tenth Step doesn't make us perfect. As a matter of fact, we laugh at the illusion of perfection. However, it has given me the tools to be a moving target, stay self-aware, and conduct my life on a spiritual basis and to do it every single day. My life has been transformed by the Program of Narcotics Anonymous and for that I'm eternally grateful. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to share. Love & Respect, Marty M. (Lincoln, Nebraska)
July & August Anniversaries Aaron S. -1 yr Michele Y. – 3 yrs Natasha D – 3 yrs Travis P. – 4 yrs Nicole C. – 4 yrs Marlin C. – 4 yrs Tayve P. – 4 yrs Eric R. – 7 yrs Stella N. – 8 yrs Kathy H. – 15 yrs
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Against All Odds
For everyone that contributed to this newsletter. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. Your words inspire and encourage the readers as they continue on this journey we call “Recovery!” PR SUBCOMMITTEE
Kim S. – 18 mos ……………………. Katie L. – 2 yrs Jocelyn B. – 8 yrs Tara S. – 8 yrs Amanda D. – 10 yrs Dale S. – 20 yrs
But Do It
Lynnette B. – 2 yrs ……………………. Kaleb G. – 4 yrs Melissa W. - 11 yrs.
Fifth Tradition
Ed H. – 8 yrs
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Miracles
Rick T. – 9 yrs
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Point of Turning
Mike B. – 1 yr
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Stray Katz
Jacobb L. - 3 yrs
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Survivors
Chris M. – 18 mos Joy S. – 1 yr Lucky L. – 1 yr KL W. – 10 yrs Ray M. – 14 yrs Danielle – 16 yrs
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We Do Recover
TOTAL CLEAN TIME IS: 184 Years!
Show Me Regional Meeting, October 8-9, Columbia, MO
5th Tradition Annual Halloween Dance, October 29, Salvation Army – Joplin, MO
Against All Odds Annual Turkey Bowl, November 12 – Pittsburg, KS
Ozark Area Annual Chili Cook Off, November 19, Impact Life Church
“More Will Be Revealed� 1 2
4
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All of the words in the puzzle can be found in the "Fifth Edition Basic Text" Chapter Ten pages 97 - 103
6 7 8
9 10
12
Across
11
13 14
15
17
3.
16 18
4.
19
8.
20
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10. 22
23
24
25
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12. 14.
27
18.
28
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EclipseCrossword.com
Learning to use our literature helps us stay clean, the solutions are always in there. 20.
Down 1. 2.
5. 6.
7. 9. 11.
"By carrying this ________ to another addict, we are reminded of our own beginnings." (pg 99) "We need to constantly review our ________ and thoughts if we are to stay enthusiastic and grow spiritually." (pg 100) "We make mistakes, and we ________ and learn from them." (pg 98) "Since the beginning of our recovery, we have found that ________ doesn't come from material things, but from within ourselves." (pg 103) "We came to ________ that we had no power to change the outside world, we could only change ourselves." (pg 97) "This ability to ________ is a gift and grows as we grow spiritually." (pg 102) "Words cannot describe the sense of spiritual ________ that we receive when we have given something, no matter how small, to another person."
13. 15. 16. 17. 18. 21. 22. 24. 25.
(pg 100) "However, by realizing the will of our Higher Power, dreams do come true in ________." (pg 102) "Our opinions are sought and valued by non-addicts in areas other than ________ and recovery." (pg 100) "We cannot afford to become ________, because our disease is with us twenty-four hours a day." (pg 97) "We are often _______ at how things work out for us." (pg 102) "Before recovery, we were unable to even conceive of the thought that ________ brought gifts." (pg 99) "Whatever pain we ________ will pass." (pg 99) "Through ________, we allow addicts to become part of us." (pg 101) "Helping a suffering addict is one of the greatest experiences ________ has to offer." (pg 100) "This extra effort is ________ to our recovery." (pg 98)
23. 26. 27.
28. 29.
"As addicts, our skill at selfdeception will be at its ________ in such a situation." (pg 98) "Our real _______ is in being ourselves." (pg 101) "We have found that the way to remain a productive, responsible member of ________ is to put our recovery first." (pg 102) "Today we have ________ feelings of love, joy, hope, sadness, excitement." (pg 97) "A ________ awakening is an ongoing process." (pg 101) "In recovery, our ________ of fun change." (pg 102) "As we grow spiritually we become attuned to our feelings and our ________ in life." (pg 101) "Narcotics Anonymous offers addicts a program of recovery that is ________ than just a life without drugs." (pg 103) "We learn to become ________ and to admit when others are right and we are wrong." (pg 98) "This is a program of ________ abstinence." (pg 98) "By working the ________, we are rebuilding our fractured personalities." (pg 97) "We have the ________ to live the knowledge acquired by staying clean, when we work with newcomers." (pg 100) "Honest sharing can dispel our fears of ________." (pg 99) "Remember that we, not our doctors, are ultimately ________ for our recovery and our decisions." (pg 99)