Adventures In Online Dating - Part Ii

Since our first issue my online dating adventures have taken me all over the virtual map. At first I was surprised that men were contacting me from California, New York, Louisiana, Georgia, North

Carolina and Alabama. Let’s be honest, even 50 miles away can be inconvenient, but isn’t it all worth it if you can find that rare magical connection?

Most of us over the age of 50 own our own homes, have a circle of friends nearby and hope for someone who can be part of our world. While some of the “out of town suitors” I encountered were really fascinating and interesting, I still wondered how anyone could possibly be Mr. Right if he lived so far away. How much can you text, Skype and talk on the phone without seeing that person on a regular basis? Is geography a deal breaker? It certainly begs the question, “Am I looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Here?”

Mr. Alabama

On a normal Monday morning I was on my way to meet a friend for an early morning walk, when my phone chimed. “How does happy hour and a sunset look for today?” I was surprised to see the text was from Mr. Alabama. Hmm... What did he mean?

Of course I responded like anyone who lives in paradise, “It’s always beautiful here in South Florida.” Then I began to wonder, would Mr. Alabama really drive 10 hours to Florida to meet me for happy hour? If so, where would he stay? Where was he right now? Was my “Prince Charming” about to ride in on his white horse? A strange combination of excitement and disbelief took over my morning as I wondered if this guy was for real.

Later that afternoon, I received another text asking, “Where would you like to meet?” Wow, this guy is good…talk about spontaneity! He definitely got my attention. At 6 p.m., his next text read that he’d checked into a local hotel. I thought

it best we meet at the hotel’s beachside Tiki bar and he agreed. (Okay, men take

heed: No matter where you are meeting your date, be a gentleman and greet her at the door. It is a nice touch that goes a

long way!) Since you can never assume that a man knows what you’re thinking, I sweetly texted Mr. A with my front door request.

When I arrived at the hotel Mr. Alabama was nowhere in sight. My thoughts were running wild, maybe he didn’t receive my text, maybe he decided not to show up, and maybe it was all a big joke… I walked outside to the beach bar to see if he was there, but I couldn’t find him in the maze of people. At that point, I figured something was wrong and decided to go back to the hotel entrance. As I was walking I stopped and turned around, only to find Mr. Alabama right behind me with a great big smile. I said, “Mr. A is that you?” And he said, “It’s me; I just read your text.” We gave each other a big hug, and that was the beginning of our late afternoon adventure.

A real coincidence…

As we were getting to know one another, a couple from Kansas sat down next to us and asked how long we’d been married. We laughed and told them that this was our first date and that we had met on a dating site. They shared that they had also met online…what an interesting coincidence! I was intrigued and asked them which site. They told me they had met on a “gaming” site where they played characters in the virtual game. Their characters had “virtually” married online in the game before they had ever met! They told us that after playing the game for more than a year, they decided to meet in person in the “real” world…and they fell in love and officially got married. It was a beautiful love story – he was 53 and she was 67 years young! Suddenly the fact that my date was someone who lived hundreds of miles away didn’t seem so strange at all. Surely, if they could virtually marry and then fall in love in real life, then perhaps a long distance romance had a chance.

Hidden talents

As the evening progressed, Mr. A and I chuckled about the marriage of “online gaming and candy crushes,” and we each shared some of our own funny dating sagas. We talked for a long time, with each of us sharing equally and no one making it all about themselves. He told me that he had friends who lived nearby, and asked if I would like to meet them. At this point, I felt safe and secure enough to accept his invitation. When we arrived at his friends’ home, I noticed a guitar sitting in the corner of the room. He casually picked it up and before I could say anything, he began serenading me with an impromptu song he conveniently named, “Francesca.” This man was full of pleasant surprises! He could barely sing all the words, since we were both laughing through his rendition of our day’s first encounter. Needless to say, it was hilarious. The evening ended sweetly with a request for a second date. As much as I wanted to see him again, I already had made plans for the next day. I had previously committed to attend the grand opening of a posh new art gallery in Palm Beach.

A second date…and flowers!

I decided to accept his request by inviting him to accompany me to the opening. He agreed, but confessed that he had only packed a pair of jeans, a shirt and a hat. I asked, “Why did you pack so lightly?” To which he replied, “I didn’t know how long I would be staying, or whether there would even be a connection.” I decided that since he was being such a good sport, I would do the right thing and ‘dress down’ for him. I looked in my closet for the perfect outfit, and settled on a gorgeous black silk jumpsuit. When I answered the door, there he was with a bouquet of sunflowers. I barely noticed his casual attire, since my only thought was, “How could he have possibly known how much I love sunflowers?”

We arrived at the gallery to a room full of women in gowns and cocktail dresses accompanied by men in suits and tuxedos. Mr. A didn’t seem to mind, and it turned out that I wasn’t the only one affected by his charm. He won the hearts of everyone there, including the band. He enjoyed the art, the people and especially me. We didn’t want the night to end…I felt like Cinderella and he felt like Prince Charming. I was lost in the moment, not concerned about the “pumpkin”…in this case the physical distance that would eventually separate us when we awoke from our fairy tale date.

…and fond farewells

The fun continued through our third and last evening together. After a full day of sightseeing and an evening of music, dinner and dancing, we stopped by the local market to pick up some items for his return car trip. It was closing time, and as we were checking out, the cashier noticed his Southern accent and asked, “Where are you from?” He proudly responded, “Alabama.” She immediately began singing the song “Sweet Home Alabama,” and all the other cashiers joined in. Before we knew it, we were being serenaded by a choir of singing cashiers. You just can’t make this stuff up!

We parted with sweet sorrow when Mr. Alabama checked out of his hotel for his long trip back home. Our time together was so wonderful and so precious. As I watched him drive away I experienced feelings of both gratitude and uncertainty as I remembered my original question, “Can it really work out when two people live so far apart?” Does one just enjoy a couple of lovely days with a sweet, charming, entertaining person or can it turn into something more regardless of living miles apart?

I guess I don’t have all the answers, and only time will tell. I do know this: life is short. I am glad that I didn’t let geography stop me from experiencing “Sweet Home Mr. Alabama.” As I watched him drive away, I thought, “So long, Mr. A…until we meet again”.

It’s a new day, with new beginnings and new adventures! Good luck and have fun.

Until next time, Francesca

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