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Note
What is really the difference between that which is truly valuable and that which is just modish? After all, things are just things, right? If only it were that simple. When it comes to things, there is a fine line. I grew up in a household with three siblings and my parents worked hard to provide a living and unfortunately for us they both had a defining character of the last century: thrift. I don’t know if it was your parents but it was mine, who would take pains to save a spoonful of red beans left in the pan or the single swallow of milk in the carton. Because the next bad day could be, well, tomorrow. On the other hand, my father always made sure I had the best that money could buy in sports equipment and goods. Go figure.
quality and indulging in extravagance. The Today’s MAN Little Black Book’s purpose is to define that line. We want to celebrate the value in things whether it’s how to determine proper alterations for a suit, how to get back into a woman’s good graces or how to improve your financial health. We want to continue to offer guidance on items, experiences and knowledge that have clear value and meaning for the Arkansas man.
As we’ve entered the new century, it’s clear that the culture has changed a bit. Men have become more avid consumers yet there’s still a fine line between pursuing
Cheers,
Enjoy this special issue and remember we at TM value your opinion on each and every issue. Your feedback is the driving force behind our work every day and is proof that our readers are the most important part of this magazine.
David Larkan
No.6
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{publisher}
PUBLISHER David Larkan david@todaysmanmagazine.com EDITOR Lee Ann Larkan editor@todaysmanmagazine.com CONTRIBUTORS Jesse Burks DPM, FACFAS Jason Ferruggia Harold Grubbs Rebecca Haden Bill James. Jr. PAGE DESIGN AND LAYOUT Deborah Szewczuk ADVERTISING SALES info@todaysmanmagazine.com TODAY’S MAN MAGAZINE Published by: RML Media, LLC P.O. Box 13030 Maumelle, AR 72113 SUBSCRIPTION For information on subscription rates for delivery to home or office please e-mail us at: circulation@todaysmanmagazine.com GOT A GREAT IDEA? WE WANT TO HEAR IT! Please e-mail us at: ideas@todaysmanmagazine.com To view our current issue or a past issue visit our web site at: www.todaysmanmagazine.com
a bi-monthly publication
on theInside {Features} Etiquette 9 10 13 14 16 22
Dress for a Black Tie Affair How to Make Proper Introductions How to Get Back in Her Good Graces How to Choose the Right Wine Anniversary Gift Guide How to Deal with the Police
29 30 32 35 36 39
How to Write a Business Plan How to Dance 10 Drinks Every Man Should Know How to Make How to Choose a Luxury Car Protect Yourself from Identity Theft High Profile
Lifestyle
Personal Care 41 42 44 46
A Simple Guide to Body Hair Removal A Guide to Choosing a Cologne Top 10 Habits to Improve Your Appearance Do It Yourself Stain Removal
Health & Fitness 49 50 52 54
Style 57 58 60 63 64
The Effects of Exercise A Nature Survival Guide It’s about Financial Freedom Developing Lean Muscle The Meaning of Color How to Choose a Diamond The Essentials You Should Have The Alterations You’ll Need Correct Methods of Clothing Maintenance
No.7
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
Proper
Etiquette {Need some tips?} From Dressing for a Formal Party, Introductions, Getting Back into Her Good Graces, Choosing the Perfect Wine, Anniversary Gift Ideas, and Dealing with the Police.
{Etiquette}
The
Black Tie
Seeing the words “black tie” on an invitation, many guys panic. Wrong response. “Black tie” means that you don’t have to make a decision, you’re guaranteed to be wearing the right thing, and – for most men – that you will look as good as you probably ever will look. Black tie occasions should equal complete confidence.
{Dress for a Black Tie Affair} If you’re going to a black tie affair, you wear a dinner jacket, which is also called a tuxedo. It’s going to be black, your tie is going to be black, and your shirt is going to be white. You might have worn a baby blue tuxedo to prom, but you’ve outgrown that now. Men don’t get any points for creativity when it comes to black tie.
However, if you wear a dinner jacket more than a couple of times a year, it’s probably more economical to buy one. Styles rarely change so you don’t need to worry about having your suit go out of style. You can have your own tuxedo altered to fit you perfectly, and you can choose the fabric you prefer.
If you just have to be creative, you have a couple of options. You can have a subtle tone-on-tone pattern on your socks. We’re talking about a slight black stripe on your black socks. You’re also going to be wearing black shoes. You can show your style with cufflinks, which can be silver with onyx (black) or mother of pearl (white) stones. If you must have a bit of color, you can have a colored handkerchief or suspenders, as long as you don’t show them to anyone but your date.
Either way, don’t wait till the last minute to choose your tuxedo. If you’re renting, you’ll have fewer choices. If you’re buying, you’ll have less time for tailoring.
Since you have very few choices to make when it comes to what you’ll wear, make the most of the choices you do have. The first decision is whether to buy or rent. There are advantages to renting your tux. All you have to do is go to one shop and get fitted. When it’s time to pick up your formalwear, you’ll have everything you need from shoes to shirt studs. When the party’s over, you return the suit to the shop and they clean it and care for it.
There are a few small choices in style available to you. You can choose between a shawl collar and a peaked lapel. You can wear a cummerbund or a waistcoat. They should be black, of course. Wear the cummerbund with the pleats facing up, and leave the bottom button of the waistcoat unbuttoned. Remember the sequence for getting dressed in a tux. Underwear and socks followed by shirt and pants. Add the cummerbund then jacket, followed by your tie, then shoes. When you do your black tie correctly, no one will notice your clothes, because they will be thinking only of how great you look. u
No.9
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Etiquette}
The
Introduction Introducing people to one another smoothes the way for communication and makes any social occasion more pleasant. So why do we, people who readily suggest that our friends like each other on Facebook , so often leave people to introduce themselves?
{How to Make Proper Introductions} For some of us, it’s because we’re not sure how it’s done. We stand there trying to remember the correct form, and so much time passes that the people we should have introduced go ahead and introduce themselves. Allowing this to happen, however, often makes your friends feel uncomfortable, either because they have the awkwardness of trying to get to know the other person without the introduction or because they suspect that we’ve forgotten their names. The basic rule for introductions is simple: speak first to the higher-ranking person. “Mr. President, may I introduce my niece, Angela?” This isn’t said with a rising intonation, as though it were a question. It’s just a formal statement meaning, “I’m introducing you.” You can use another phrase if you prefer; strict rules about exactly what words to use for an introduction aren’t observed as much as they used to be. The rule about speaking first to the higher ranking person is. For the purposes of introductions, women rank higher than men. Older people rank higher than younger people. Senior executives rank higher than junior executives, whether they’re male or female. Your clients rank higher than your boss. In modern life, some of these things may get tangled, as in a case in which your younger male client is meeting your older female boss. Make a fast decision as to who, in such cases, ranks higher in the situation you’re in. With practice, this part of the introductions will get easier and become more comfortable. You can do your duty in the way of introductions just by saying the names of the people: “Kim Young, Amanda Park.”
However, it’s more gracious to add some information, unless you’re right in the midst of a conversation. When you tell each person a little bit about the other in a social setting, it gives them something to discuss: “Grandmother, this is Malcolm from school. I told you about how we’re doing a project together in our chemical engineering class. Malcolm, this is my grandmother, Eva Fleischman. She used to work as a chemist.” In a business setting, this added info can give the people you’re introducing a chance to plan a quick strategy for the discussion, or to pretend that they remembered the other person: “Mr. Robinson, this is Daniel Benson, the COO of Acme Logistics. Daniel, this is Kyle Robinson of Apex Air Freight, who is looking into our warehousing services.” If you’re not sure whether two people remember one another, you can perform an introduction while also giving them a heads up that they’ve met before: “Maria, I think you know Jim Ellis, our sales manager.” You can follow exactly the same form in an email: “Jacob Moss, I’d like to introduce Stephen Mills, who is an expert on organic apple growing. I think he’ll be able to help you with the question you had asked me.” You can send this email to both parties, and they can consider themselves introduced. Proper introductions are never out of place. They make people feel more at ease, and mark you as a man who knows his way around – and remembers his friends’ and colleagues’ names. u
No.10
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Etiquette}
Her
Good Graces “The course of true love,” according to Shakespeare, who made a study of these things, “never did run smooth.” Therefore you can feel sure that at some point the woman in your life will become angry with you.
{How to Get Back in Her Good Graces} You can overcome this. A step by step approach is the key to success. First, cool off. Your natural inclination if she’s mad at you might be to be angry with her for being angry with you. This is the wrong frame of mind for wooing her back. If you don’t wait till you’re past that bitter feeling, you’ll be sure to burst out with accusations when the discussion gets heated. Go for a run, shoot some hoops, or play a video game till you’re sure you can stay calm. Try the direct approach first. First choice is face to face, followed by a phone call. If you can’t reach her any other way, text her and ask her to meet you. Then just ask if she’s willing to try again. “I love you” or “I miss you” makes a good introduction. Avoid an impatient tone of voice or any suggestion that it’s her fault. If the straightforward approach fails, you’ll need a bigger gesture. Choosing something that she has actually mentioned to you before has a double effect: it’s something she wants and it shows that you were listening. Naturally, this only works if you were listening. If not, you can call a friend or relative of hers and ask for a suggestion. The piece of jewelry she’s been longing for, tickets to a show she’ll really enjoy, or even fixing the shelf she asked you to fix can show that you really care.
You’ve made an honest request for a reconciliation and a good-faith gesture to show that you care. If she’s still rejecting you, it may really be over. Or she may be weakening, waiting long enough to make sure that you really get the point that she’s angry, or making sure that you’re serious. Now’s the time for logic. Not logical arguments to persuade her that she ought to take you back. Those never work. The logic is for you. Identify the cause of the rift. She probably has tried to tell you. Think back over your recent conversations like a detective, searching out clues to the cause of the quarrel. What did she complain about? Sometimes women complain about things that we can’t believe are serious. If you find yourself thinking that she can’t possibly really be mad at you because you left whiskers in the sink when you shaved, try cleaning the whiskers out of the sink and see whether that brings her back into your arms. There’s no point in promising to change if you really won’t, but there may be things you’d be willing to do if you think about it seriously. If you figure out where things went wrong, you may be able to identify the changes you’d need to make in order to work things out. If you realize that you’re not willing to make those changes, then this may not be the girl for you. u
No.13
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Etiquette}
The
Wine
Whether it’s a matter of choosing the bottle that impresses your date at the restaurant, pairing satisfying wines with the food at a dinner party, or just making sure you spend your money wisely when you buy a bottle for your own kitchen, you need to be able to choose wines with confidence. Easier said than done when you’re facing a long list of unfamiliar names on a wine list or rows and rows of bottles in a wine shop.
{How to Choose the Right Wine} The color of a wine is the first consideration. Whether a wine is red, white, or rosé depends on how long the skins of the grapes were left in the juice as it fermented. White wines are made without the skins, so they don’t have the tannins, which are bitter compounds found in grape skins. Whites are therefore lighter in taste, with less bitterness or strong flavor. With a mild flavored dish like fish or grilled chicken, white wine’s delicate flavor is perfect. With a strong flavored, spicy dish, white wines can seem bland and lacking in flavor. Red wines are fermented with the skins, giving a more robust flavor that goes well with heartier foods like steaks or stews. This is where we get the simple rule that white wine goes with fish and red wine goes with red meat. However, a hearty cioppino with lots of garlic and tomatoes calls for a red wine, while pork medallions with lemon and rice could be paired beautifully with a white wine. Think of the strength of the flavors more than the color of the meat. Rosés are made from darker grapes, but the skins are left in the juice only briefly, giving just a shade of color to the wine. Since some wines sold as rosé wines are just mixtures of red and white wine, it can be hard to generalize about these wines. Sweet and sparkling wines are
generally not served with a meal. Sweet wines, or dessert wines, can be brought out to go with dessert; follow the same rules as with the main meal and choose a red dessert wine for that dark chocolate mousse and a white dessert wine for the light sponge cake. Now you’re in the right aisle of the store or the right column of the wine list, you should feel free to ask the experts for advice. People who know about wine -- and that should include the salesperson at the liquor store as well as the wine steward at the restaurant – enjoy discussing it. Don’t apologize or announce how much (or how little) you know about wine. Just ask “What would you recommend with this dish?” or “How do you like the Sauvignon Blanc?” When it comes to budget, you can’t always tell a good wine by its price. A famous wine, grape, or even region will have a higher price than a lesser known wine. Experiment with an Arkansas Colombard; you’ll pay less than the prices of French Colombards and still enjoy it. When you find a favorite wine, whether at a wine tasting or just in a lucky choice at a restaurant, make a note of it. A wine journal, or even just a memorized list of your favorite red, white, and sparkling wines will make it easier to choose in the future. u
No.14
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
No.15
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Etiquette}
Your
Anniversary Anniversary celebrations began in medieval times when people celebrated 25 and 50 years of marriage. A husband would crown his wife with a wreath of silver for 25 years and of gold for 50.
{Anniversary Gift Guide} The tradition of gold and silver wedding anniversaries has stuck, but there is now a long list of other named anniversaries to accompany them. Each represents a different facet of the couple’s commitment, the stage their relationship is at and the number of years they have been together. Below is a list of the most popular anniversaries celebrated today and what they mean, but there are others. According to one American website, the 24th anniversary is for musical instruments, the 29th for new furniture, the 42nd for improved real estate and the 44th for groceries. Well, you never know your luck… When it comes to anniversary gift buying, our advice is to think laterally. For example, most people can’t afford to buy rubies for a ruby wedding anniversary, but how about a beautiful ruby-red throw, bottles of red wine or some colored glass or pottery? We’ve come up with a few more suggestions to get you started…
1st anniversary: Paper
Can it really be a year ago you said ‘I do’? Time flies when you’re having fun… Paper weddings have an edible tradition. If you opted for a fruit wedding cake, you can freeze the top tier and have it re-iced to eat on this day. Don’t stick to stationery for gifts on a paper theme. Name a star after your partner and present them with the certificate, or order a personal horoscope, or offer a voucher for a gift experience such as a helicopter ride over London? Tickets are, of course, paper.. so the world is your oyster! Then again, why not just pour your heart out in a love letter?
2nd anniversary: Cotton
Keep it simple on your second wedding anniversary: spend it tucked up in crisp, fresh cotton sheets. Or splash out on a second honeymoon.
No.16
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Etiquette} 3rd: anniversary: Leather
For your third, what about a leather-bound photo album or wallet with something to spend inside? Plus Jimmy Choo makes leather shoes…
4th anniversary: Linen
How about some lovely new bedlinen or cushions for your bed?
5th anniversary: Wood
In Wales, elaborately carved wooden ‘lovespoons’ have been given for centuries. The term ‘spooning’ - meaning ‘romancing’ - originates from this Welsh tradition. An alternative gift to each other could be a romantic visit to a log cabin!
6th anniversary: Iron
In his famous diary, Samuel Pepys (1633-1703) writes of going home ‘to be merry, it being my sixth wedding night’. P.S. a tip for your sixth: a steam iron is NOT a romantic gesture!
7th anniversary: Wool
For your wool wedding, you could snuggle up in new cashmere sweaters and watch Marilyn Monroe in the Seven Year Itch.
11th anniversary: Steel 12th anniversary: Silk
In Denmark, it’s traditional to make a big fuss of the 12-and-a-half-year anniversary. Called a copper wedding, friends and family build the couple half an arch made from spruce (you get the other half when you reach your 25th). The arch is decorated with flowers and lights and positioned at the door of your home. When it comes to silk, why not invest in some beautiful silk lingerie for yourself!
13th anniversary: Lace
Romantic lace is often associated with weddings. The veil made for Queen Elizabeth’s 1923 wedding to George VI required 12,000 hours of work and 12 million stitches. For your 13th anniversary, why not surprise your partner with a weekend trip to Bruges, home of lace-making?
14th anniversary: Ivory
Ivory comes from elephants, so if you want to follow tradition in cruelty-free style, choose the modern alternatives of opal or gold gifts instead.
15th anniversary: Crystal
9th anniversary: Pottery
If renewing your wedding vows appeals to you, your 15th anniversary - one of the first ‘big’ ones - could be the time to do it. You can make the service as formal or informal as you like, have a civil or religious ceremony, or fly to an exotic location to do ‘I do’ all over again.
10th anniversary: Tin
Anniversary symbols vary worldwide. In some cultures, your 15th wedding anniversary, for example, is called a ‘glass’ wedding. Time to blow your savings on a conservatory? A greenhouse? Designer his ‘n’ hers specs? Combine the traditions by toasting each other with champagne in new crystal glasses.
8th anniversary: Bronze Stylish ceramics make perfect pottery presents. On the other hand, your ninth anniversary is a good opportunity to exercise your own artistic talents. Take a trip to your local pottery café and create a personalized masterpiece for your beloved. At ten years old, your marriage is getting all grown up and hopefully, more mature. But not too mature! To celebrate a decade of togetherness, why not break out the jelly and ice cream and hold a tenth birthday party for your marital relationship? Invite your friends and family over to join in the fun. As a gift idea, tin may not sound too promising. Fortunately, there’s also a gemstone or precious metal associated with each wedding anniversary. According to this tradition, you can celebrate your first decade together with diamonds. Any excuse!
16th anniversary: Topaz 17th anniversary: Amethyst
Why are certain materials associated with different anniversaries? As the years pass, you’ll see that the materials become more durable and more valuable the longer the marriage - just like your relationship! Another theory is that they are designed to help you replace wedding gifts at the time they wear out…
No.17
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Etiquette} 18th anniversary: Garnet
You might not fancy buying each other garnets, but there’s nothing wrong with taking a weekend break in the home of these red gems - Prague. If you love the idea of a city filled with gothic architecture and romance, this is the place to go.
19th anniversary: Aquamarine
Aquamarines are the color of the sea, so what about a quick trip to the coast to celebrate your 19th anniversary? A stroll on the prom, a quick paddle and a champagne picnic on the beach can be a real tonic. As the poet EE Cummings wrote, ‘It’s always ourselves that we find at the sea’. An alternative could be a visit to a relaxing spa for the weekend. Continuing the water theme, fit out your bathroom with some beautiful new accessories?
20th anniversary: China
Congratulations - you’ve made it together through two whole decades! Invite friends and family together to help you celebrate. To mark your 20th anniversary, throw a roaring twenties fancy dress party , and Charleston the night away. You can always add another piece to your wedding china, as it’s fun to collect things over time. Prince Albert, for example, gave Queen Victoria a set of gold and porcelain jewelry bit by bit - a brooch before their wedding, a brooch and earrings for Christmas and a wreath on their fifth wedding anniversary in 1845.
21st anniversary: Brass 22nd anniversary: Copper
Brass and copper are not necessarily the most romantic of metals but use your imagination and you could make something of them. Copper-bottomed saucepans are prized by celebrity chefs, or be ‘bold as brass’ and take your beloved for an extreme sports experience such as bungee jumping or whitewater rafting.
23rd anniversary: Silver plate 24th anniversary: Musical instruments
This is an unusual one! Instead of an instrument, how about tickets to a concert, or a new cd for the collection?
25th anniversary: Silver
Silver weddings have a long tradition. In medieval Germany, husbands gave their wives a wreath of silver when they had been married for 25 years. ‘Sylver brydells’ are mentioned in an English church record of 1624, and the term ‘silver feast’ is attributed to the Germans in a letter to Dr Samuel Johnson in 1806. Couples may want to buy something to special to commemorate this first major milestone in their relationship. Choose from a huge range of silver items to celebrate your 25 years together - this could be a lovely silver frame for one of your wedding photographs, or even a piece of jewelry for each of you.
26th anniversary: Original pictures
How about having your portrait painted as a special anniversary gift? A less costly option is to enlarge and frame a favorite (wedding?) photo. Otherwise, keep an eye out in local galleries and choose something that you both love.
27th anniversary: Sculpture
This anniversary gives you a great opportunity to buy a lovely sculpture - either for inside your home or for your garden. You might even decide to take a class and make something yourself!
28th anniversary: Orchids
In China, orchids symbolise nobility, friendship, elegance and perfection - making these exotic, mysterious blooms an ideal anniversary present. Bouquets of orchids or orchid plants are breathtaking. If you feel like splashing out, many orchids originate from Asia so perhaps it’s time for a holiday!
29th anniversary: New furniture 30th anniversary: Pearl
Be pearly king and queen for the night with a Cockney themed party for your pearl wedding. You can feast on jellied eels and have a good old knees-up! Alternatively, keep it just the two of you and curl up in front of some classic movies from the 1930’s. In Indian mythology, pearls are said to be dewdrops from heaven that fell into the sea. These jewels represent peace, nobility and beauty, and would make a wonderful gift - but
No.18
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Etiquette} if you can’t stretch to pearls, use their color as an inspiration for a beautiful white gift, or just get romantic over a dozen oysters. Caviar is traditionally eaten with a mother of pearl spoon... I see an evening of Champagne and caviar!
There is no traditional material for the 39th wedding anniversary but the modern lists state lace, which also marks the 13th. 26 years on, it may be time to replace that tablecloth!
31st anniversary: Timepieces
40th anniversary: Ruby
32nd anniversary: Conveyances (vehicles)
You could always purchase that long-coveted Porsche for your anniversary, but if a car isn’t quite the right thing, why not just ‘convey’ your partner to a posh hotel to enjoy a weekend of luxury as a 32nd celebration? Or hire a limo for the night and enjoy the celebrity lifestyle.
33rd anniversary: Amethyst
The Victorians were fond of making rings with a message conveyed in the first initial of each jewel. So a ring with a Diamond, Emerald, Amethyst, Ruby, Emerald, Sapphire and Topaz on it spelt ‘dearest’.
34th anniversary: Opal 35th anniversary: Coral
Jewelry is the natural choice for this anniversary gift, as coral goes so well with jade, the gemstone associated with 25 years of marriage.
39th anniversary: Lace
Life begins at 40, and the 40th wedding anniversary is considered to be one of the most important after the 25th. Not surprisingly it’s been attached to one of the world’s most precious gems. Rubies are said to be rarer than diamonds - they symbolise health, wealth and wisdom and, of course, passion. Rubies are red, so why not plant a red rose in your garden as testament to your love? Or buy some vintage bottles and invite your party guests to toast the future and the past in vintage ruby port or red wine.
41st anniversary: Land
In 1659, John Evelyn wrote in his diary about going to a ‘forty-first wedding day feast’, one of the earliest references to wedding anniversaries in English literature. It looks as if all anniversaries were an excuse for a celebration back in those days - what a good idea!
42nd anniversary: Real estate
Jade was once used as currency in China and is considered to be lucky. Red coral is the most valuable kind. Alternatively, head to one of the world’s great coral reefs and go for a dive together!
43rd anniversary: Travel
36th anniversary: Bone china
Groceries don’t sound too exciting, but they can make a great present. Just remember to avoid standard supermarket fare and go for a luxury hamper instead.
37th anniversary: Alabaster
Although, generally speaking, it’s five- and ten-year anniversaries that are the most widely celebrated, there’s no reason not to mark the date of your wedding every year. So if you want to have a big bash on your 37th or 38th - go ahead! Try an alabaster carving or sculpture, as a gift.
38th anniversary: Beryl
Beryl is a little known, colorless gem stone in it’s pure form. Aquamarine is it’s blue version and it’s green is one of the most precious gems of all - emerald.
This couldn’t be easier. Enjoy a day or weekend away, or head off on the holiday of your dreams!
44th anniversary: Groceries
45th anniversary: Sapphire
Sapphires come in an array of colors - pink, yellow, white, green and red as well as blue. So get the shaker out and celebrate your 45th with a multi-colored cocktail drinks party. Use the Victorian language of flowers to let your partner know how you feel with a colorful bouquet. You could try freesias for faithfulness, alstromeria for desire - or just a red rose, for love.
No.19
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
1st Paper 2nd Cotton 3rd Leather 4th Linen 5th Wood 6th Iron 7th Wool 8th Bronze 9th Pottery 10th Tin 11th Steel 12th Silk 13th Lace 14th Ivory 15th Crystal 16th Topaz 17th Amethyst 18th Garnet 19th Aquamarine 20th China 21st Brass 22nd Copper 23rd Silver plate 24th Instruments 25th Silver 26th Pictures 27th Sculpture 28th Orchids 29th New furniture 30th Pearl 31st Timepieces 32nd Conveyances 33rd Amethyst 34th Opal 35th Coral 36th Bone china 37th Alabaster 38th Beryl 39th Lace 40th Ruby 41st Land 42nd Real estate 43rd Travel 44th Groceries 45th Sapphire 46th Poetry 47th Books 48th Optical goods 50th Gold 55th Emerald 60th Diamond 70th Platinum 75th Diamond
{Etiquette} 46th anniversary: Poetry
This is the perfect opportunity to be romantic - buy a poetry book, go to a poetry reading or even put pen to paper yourself.
47th anniversary: Books
Explore the literary theme for these anniversaries and take your love to Hayon-Wye, home of the famous book festival. It’s a charming, picturesque place, packed with bookshops where you’ll be sure to find a volume of romantic poetry for your partner.
48th anniversary: Optical goods 49th anniversary: Luxuries
Modern wedding symbols, such as luxuries and optical goods, might not have quite the same romantic ring to them as traditional materials like silver or rubies, but you could always buy a telescope and spend your anniversary stargazing together…
50th anniversary: Gold
You’ve spent half a century together - what better cause for a celebration? Golden weddings have been marked for many years. In medieval Germany, men would present their wives with a golden wreath on their 50th anniversary. This was said to symbolise harmony. Going for gold is the obvious choice for a 50th wedding gift and you may want to use the opportunity to buy each other new wedding rings to add to your old ones. You could even have special inscriptions made inside the rings to mark the occasion.
No.20
55th anniversary: Emerald
These precious stones symbolise love and rebirth and make beautiful jewelry. You can also use green as a basis for your anniversary party and give it a Celtic theme with some traditional Irish music. Or ‘go green’ and give your loved one a present with an ecological slant, so the gift endures for future generations too. Now’s your chance to take a dream trip to Ireland - the Emerald Isle, in celebration of your anniversary. You could even stay in a romantic castle. If you fancy somewhere a little warmer try Sardinia’s Emerald Coast.
60th anniversary: Diamond
The word ‘diamond’ originates from the Greek adamus, meaning unconquerable - which, if you’ve lasted 60 years, is the perfect epithet for your own marriage. Splash out in celebration of this fantastic event and buy a beautiful piece of diamond jewelry.
70th anniversary: Platinum
After 70 years together, you’ve earned your own platinum record. And like the metal, your marriage is strong, precious and rare. Eternity rings are a popular anniversary present. Of course, you can buy one whenever you feel like it, but it might be an ideal gift to mark a special anniversary like the 70th.
75th anniversary: Diamond
Although the 75th is the second diamond wedding in the anniversary calendar, it was actually the first to exist - the 60th was added in 1897 when Queen Victoria celebrated her Diamond Jubilee. There’s no modern symbol for a diamond wedding. Perhaps that’s because nothing beats a diamond. u
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
~
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{Etiquette}
The
Police
Most people have very little contact with the police. That is a good thing. Contact with the police generally means that something has happened to you or is about to happen to you. We all want the police around in times of need and not so much when we are in a hurry to get to a meeting. The police do not bring a big check and balloons to your door when they come calling. Most contact with the police is stressful, and the manner in which a person handles the contact with law enforcement can often help determine the end result of the situation.
{How to Deal with the Police} This article identifies four of the most common ways a person may come in contact with the police and some free advice on how it should be handled. If the simple suggestions found below are followed, it will help the police do the best job for you in your time of need and alternatively give your best chance at minimizing any negative results stemming from your behavior when it has somehow caught the attention of the police.
1. Traffic Stops
Perhaps the most common manner in which people come in contact with the police is due to a traffic stop. The Golden Rule of dealing with the Police is to be polite. I call this the “YES SIR, NO SIR” rule. You are not going to get anywhere being rude to a police officer. There is a large group of people that have trouble being polite to officers. Police are trained to deal with discourteous people; but they are human and how you treat them could affect the way they treat you.
When stopped by a police officer, always have your driver’s license and your paperwork ready. You don’t want to be seen digging around for your paperwork. This looks suspicious and can be taken by the police as a sign of danger. If you think you are going to have to dig for your paperwork, wait until the officer comes up to the vehicle before you start. I keep my registration and my insurance card in a holder provided by my insurance company and always have it on the visor so it is easy to get. The police officer will often ask you some question about whether you know how fast you were going or why you are in such a hurry. Any answer should be simple while keeping in mind that most excuses are not going to work. Sometimes, just telling the officer you are sorry is about all you can do. I often hear about people talking themselves out of tickets. While I am sure it happens, my position is that you are better off just being polite and limiting your attempts
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{Etiquette} to persuade the officer. You will have your best chance of doing something with your ticket in court. Officers tend to remember if you are polite or if you are a jerk. Most courts offer probation for first offenders; and for those with prior blemishes on their records, the officer’s approval of probation can go a long way in making that happen. Should you find yourself suspected of driving while intoxicated (DWI) you should remember that Refusal to give a breath or blood sample (Refusal) is a separate charge and prevents you from getting a permit to drive. There was a time that many people thought that refusing to give a breath or blood sample helped them get out of the DWI. Whatever value refusal has in fighting the DWI, you can get a permit to drive with a DWI but not when you refuse. There are a lot of down sides to getting a DWI, but most people find losing the ability to drive is the worst. If you don’t blow, the law says you do not get a permit. Of course, the best thing to do is call a taxi. Even a limo is cheaper than the attorney fees related to a DWI, and you don’t take a chance of hurting yourself or others.
2. Traffic Accidents
While you still want to be polite to an officer when you are involved in an accident, you definitely want to make sure that you tell your side of the story. That does not mean to argue your point; it simply means to make sure the officer knows what happened from your viewpoint. In most cases, you will be asked to write out a statement. This fact statement needs to be complete and include any and all facts you think are important. If the officer finds you at fault and gives you a ticket, treat it the same as you would a speeding ticket. Say “Thank You” and seek a positive result in traffic court. Signing a ticket is only acknowledgment that you received the court date and is not an admission of guilt. Make sure you get all of the other driver’s insurance and driver’s license information. Contact your insurance agent immediately, and make no statements to the other driver’s insurance company until you have spoken with your own.
3. You Are A Victim/Witness Of A Crime And You Call The Police
Something happens to you or in front of you and you have to call the police. When you call 911, the operator will ask you for details like your name, location, and what happened. This is almost always going to be a stressful event. It is very important that you remain as calm as possible and give the operator the most specific information you can. If you are too upset to talk and someone else is available to talk, let them talk so help can come as quickly as possible. The 911 call is not the time to give personal feelings about the person that has done something to you or for you to give opinions as to what is happened unless given in an attempt to help the police help you. It is very important to remember that everything you are saying is being recorded. Always tell the truth. Once the police arrive, it is even more important to be calm and relate the important facts. Important facts include all identifying information regarding any person you are identifying to the police. Failure to fully describe a perpetrator can hurt the police in their attempt to find them and also hurt the credibility of your identification if you are ever called to testify. When the police arrive, they often are forced to figure out what happened. Not surprisingly, the story that is told in a concise and understandable fashion will often form the basis of the officer’s opinion. That opinion can go along way in shaping the way that the police deal with the situation.
4. The Police Want To Talk To You About “Something”
You get a call or you find a card on your door saying that the police want to talk to you about “something.” Sometimes they will tell you what they want to talk about, sometimes they do not. The question is: Should you talk to them? My default position to this question is NO. I am not going to say that I have not had clients that gave statements to the police without my involvement and have ended up doing well for themselves. Helping yourself by talking without an attorney is the exception rather than the rule. I had a law professor who once told
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{Etiquette} me “most people talk themselves into jail rather than out of it.” I have found that to be true. Often people that get arrested are just like the fish mounted on the wall: They are only there because they opened their mouth. There are often times that it is a good idea to talk to the police, but rarely when you have no idea what they want to talk about or what others have already told the police. You should never talk to the police without a lawyer. Let me repeat that: YOU SHOULD NEVER TALK TO THE POLICE WITHOUT A LAWYER. When giving a statement without the assistance of counsel, you may find yourself talking in circles or giving conflicting or incriminating sounding evidence without intending to do so. The United States Supreme Court has also said that the police are allowed to lie to you while asking you questions. That means they can lie to you about what someone else said or about the evidence they have against you. Police, just like attorneys, are trained to test people’s stories. Someone trained in this way can get you to say one thing and then question you into a corner that makes it appear that you have conflicted yourself. If you are going to give a statement, you are better off having someone with you that is able to listen and insure that you say what you mean and that questions are clarified in a way that helps you from talking yourself into a trap. If you do talk to the police, with or without a lawyer, do not lie. You are much better off saying nothing then opening yourself up to the ramifications of getting caught in a lie. It is not uncommon for people to go to prison for lying about something even when there is not enough to charge them with the crime about which they are being questioned. Also, you should never guess. If you don’t know, then the answer is “I don’t know.” Above all: Never, Never, Never, admit to something that you did not do. Once you admit to “it,” it is very unlikely that no one will believe that you did not do “it.” There are a million variances on how one may come in contact with the police. The rules for dealing with the situation are really pretty simple: Be respectful; If going to speak, tell the truth; When in doubt, say nothing, and ask for your attorney. If you don’t have an attorney, call me and I will lead you to a good one. u
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William O. “Bill” James, Jr William O “Bill” James, Jr. is a private practice attorney and the founding member of the James Law Firm, practicing exclusively in the area of Criminal Law. The James Law Firm has 5 full time Criminal Defense Lawyers, making it the largest private Criminal Defense Firms in the State of Arkansas. Practicing in both State and Federal courts in Arkansas, the James Law Firm has offices in Little Rock and Conway. He can be contacted at 501-375-0900 or
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
WmJamesJr@aol.com.
Stand Out. The average American is exposed to anywhere between 300 and 3,000 ads every day. Brand momentum takes more than clever ads. It requires initiating conversation and being good listeners. We spend quality time, for our clients, listening to what their audience says. There is where opportunity lies.
Call 501-658-7875 or visit www.vividmarketinggroup.Com
Lifestyle {Need some tips?} From Writing a Business Plan, Dancing, Mixing a New Drink, Cars, Protecting Your Identity, and High Profile.
Plan
{Lifestyle}
Business
Owning your own business is part of the American Dream. 11% of Americans currently own a business, but 61% have thought about it. What’s the difference between thinking about it and actually doing it? In many cases, it’s the business plan.
{How to Write a Business Plan} A business plan is a formal document laying out the road map for your business. If you want to get funds from investors or a business loan from a bank, then you have to have a business plan. If not, you’ll still find a business plan useful. It can help you see the areas where you’re not completely prepared, it can be shared with other people who are in a position to give you advice, and it can help you focus your energies in the right places. Even the process of writing out your business plan can help you to focus your thinking about your business and transform it from a dream to a reality.
of your company, this section could include the history of your company, the qualifications of the key staff of the company, the specific strategies and challenges you foresee, and information about the day to day operations of the business. This is the place to go into detail on how you plan to get your product to market, why your location will work for you, who will do what within the company, and how you plan to manage your accounts receivables. The range of possible topics here is enormous, and each business will have a different set of issues to address.
Begin with a clear statement about your business: what exactly does your business do, and what goods and/or services will you offer? Who will buy your products and hire your services? What are your qualifications for the role you’ve envisioned for yourself? What are your goals for your business? A clear description of your business is an essential first step.
Next comes the financial section. Here you’ll need to put documents like your start-up costs estimate, a breakeven analysis, profit and loss projections for the first year, and a request for funding if your business plan will be used for this purpose. You may need help from your accountant for this section. Just remember to be conservative, even pessimistic when you come up with your numbers.
Follow with a market analysis. What kind of demand is there for your services, and what kind of competition do you face? This section of the business plan should be very specific and should contain real data: government figures on the growth of demand for your product, for example, and specific competitors in your market. Describe your organization, management, strategy, and logistics in the next section. Depending on the details
Clearly, no two business plans will be alike. There are lots of templates and sample business plans at the websites of organizations like the Small Business Administration. There are also software packages that can help you put your business plan together. However, the research and thought involved in creating your business plan are so valuable that experts agree: this is one job you should do yourself. u
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{Lifestyle}
The
Dance
Funky Chicken Anyone? Okay, How About the Moon Walk? Plenty of men are great dancers. Michael Jackson, Fred Astaire, Justin Timberlake… all great dancers. The average guy isn’t quite that comfortable. If you’re still traumatized from the incident at your prom and your woman likes to go dancing there are some things you need to know so you won’t be the bore of the party and reduced to talking to hors d’ oeuvres waiters all night.
{How to Dance} First, professional dance is as demanding as a sport. Ballet dancers are the equivalent of basketball players for athleticism. So it’s natural for us to think that we’re not good dancers unless we’ve got sweet moves that impress people. Women don’t think that. If you can move to the beat and enjoy yourself on the dance floor, she’ll be happy. So lower your standards, or at least clear your mind of all those movies you’ve seen where the guy is so sharp on the dance floor that everyone else stops, a spotlight comes on, and he wins. Dancing isn’t actually something people win most of the time. The other side of that coin, though, is that dancing is easier and more fun if you’re in shape. If you want to go dancing, keep up with the running so you won’t be out of breath, and maybe practice it a little bit. It’s a physical skill, so you’ll get better if you do it more often. You can practice dancing at home with a DVD. No one will know. The second thing you need to know about dancing is that it’s musical. You can’t dance comfortably if you can’t hear the beat of the music and move to it. You can definitely practice that. Move to the music when you’re
driving, put on some music when you’re around the house and just sway or bounce to it a little while you’re brushing your teeth or doing chores around the house. Listen to music when you run and keep in step with the beat. Move your arms to the beat when no one’s looking. When you get to the point where you can move freely to music when you’re alone, you’re halfway there. You have to get over feeling self conscious about it when you’re at a club. Look into your girl’s eyes, notice her happy face, and quit thinking about the other people on the dance floor. If you’ve gotten to where you can happily bounce a little and move your arms occasionally, you’re good enough to have fun. The third thing about dancing, and we’ve touched on it a little bit already, is that it’s social. It takes place when other people are present. So you need to be aware enough of your body in space that you don’t step on people, run into people, or push people out of the way. So, once you’ve gotten into the habit of moving to music, do some practice in situations where you have a little less space than usual. Face the corner in your
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{Lifestyle} house and move in pretty close. Move to the music when the band plays at a game – no one’s looking at you. Or take dance classes. Learning salsa dance or the foxtrot won’t exactly give you the moves you’ll need for ordinary evenings out dancing, but it will help you get used to moving in crowds. You can take your wife or girlfriend, of course, but there are always more girls than guys at dance classes and you’ll be welcome if you go stag. Once you get past feeling foolish, you can invite your date to come too. Now things to never do… Don’t jump up and down. Leave that move to a rock concert or frat party. If you don’t feel comfortable on the dance floor then don’t yell out “Woooo” while on the dance floor. It’s an instant attention getter and not in a good way. Don’t dance with clinched fists or open robot hands. Nothing says I’m a dork and don’t know how to do more than looking like you are on the verge on a heart attack. Don’t use too much alcohol to try and relax. It’s perfectly okay to drink a little bit to loosen up on the dance floor, in fact, it’s recommended if you feel that alcohol will help you open up, but you may want to refrain from getting on the dance floor if you feel the urge to get up on the speaker, do the funky chicken while doing the limbo, or worse yet -- dance like Seinfeld ‘s Elaine Benes. And last but not least, don’t pull a Napolean Dynomite and throw back a bottle of water then reply that it’s time to practice some dance moves. It is believed that a person’s dance moves are similar to his bedroom moves. Enough said. u
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{Lifestyle}
Drinks
If you’re an adult, you should know how to mix a drink or two without having to Google it on your phone as you stir. Here’s a basic repertoire that ought to allow you to build a nice drink for males or females at any occasion.
{10 Drinks Every Man Should Know How to Make} #1 Martini
4 parts gin 1 part French Vermouth Shake or stir over ice, pour into a Martini glass, squeeze a lemon peel over the glass, and garnish with an olive.
#2 Manhattan
3 parts Canadian Whiskey or Rye 1 part sweet Vermouth A dash of bitters Stir or shake with ice until very cold. Serve in a cocktail glass with a maraschino cherry.
#3 Sidecar
1 part Cognac 1 part Cointreau 1 part lemon juice Shake with ice and serve with a twist of lemon peel.
#4 Rusty Nail
2 parts Scotch 1 part Drambuie Serve it on the rocks with a twist of lemon.
#5 Mojito
1 part simple syrup 2 parts lime juice 2 parts rum 2 parts club soda Mint leaves Drop the mint into a tall glass with the syrup and lime juice and muddle: smash up the leaves with the syrup, using a muddler or an iced tea spoon. Fill the glass with crushed ice and pour in the rum and soda. Garnish with additional mint leaves.
#6 Long Island Iced Tea
3 parts vodka 3 parts tequila 3 parts white rum 3 parts Triple Sec 3 parts gin 1 part lemon juice 1 part lime juice 1 part simple syrup splash of cola Shake or stir with ice, serve in a tall glass and garnish with a citrus wedge.
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#7 Tom Collins
3 parts gin 2 parts lemon juice 1 part simple syrup To make simple syrup, boil equal parts of sugar and water together till the sugar dissolves completely. Cool the syrup and store it in the refrigerator till you need it. Mix all the ingredients over ice in your cocktail shaker and garnish with a lemon wedge and a cherry.
#8 Black Russian
2 parts vodka 1 part Kahlua Serve it on the rocks. Add cream to taste for a White Russian.
#9 Margarita
4 parts tequila 2 parts lime juice 1 part Triple Sec Mix with ice and pour into a salt-rimmed cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wedge.
and Cocktail #10
This should be your specialty, something unusual with an intriguing name. Go to used book stores and comb through ancient recipe books, keep the ingredients on hand at all times, and become known for your Between the Sheets (Triple Sec, rum, brandy, and lemon juice), Belini (pureed whie peaches and champagne), or Skip and Go Naked (lemonade, beer, and whiskey). Actually, by now you can find all these cocktails by Googling them on your phone, but a well practiced specialty will add flair to your parties. u
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{Lifestyle}
Cars
When you’re ready to reward yourself with a luxury car, you want to be certain of choosing the one that will really fulfill your fantasies.
{How to Choose a Luxury Car} Begin by defining “luxury” for yourself: do you want a luxurious driving experience, with a high level of comfort? Or is your definition of luxury, when it comes to cars, really more about performance? For a luxurious driving experience, Cadillac and Lincoln are the top American contenders. The Rolls-Royce is the quintessential luxury driving experience, with a BMW or a Mercedes-Benz as another luxury option among foreign cars. Less obvious choices that still offer a luxurious drive: Volvo provides not only an extremely comfortable ride, but also a very high level of safety. Lexus creates cars with a sporty look, but the quality leathers and elegantly designed cabins of Lexus sedans make them a luxurious choice. Acura is Honda’s top of the line offering, and it provides a high level of luxury with a lower price tag than most. Land Rover is the luxury choice for sports enthusiasts, as opposed to a sports car. Perhaps “luxury” to you doesn’t mean a butter-soft leather seat and great sound as much as it does a sporty look and precise handling. Jaguar and Porsche are the leaders in this group, with the sportier Mercedes-Benz options such as the S63 AMG coming up right behind. Lexus and Audi also make luxurious sports models. The Lexus IS-F is comparable to the Porsche Boxster, while
Audi’s S4 is a lot of sporty car for its relatively modest price. Luxury car makers know that they have to offer something distinctive to justify the prices (from $30,000 to ten times that or more), but don’t let yourself get seduced by heated seats or a coveted hood ornament. Do your homework just as you would with any car purchase. Check the crash-test data and safety reports from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety for the models you’re considering. Check the Kelley Blue Book values to see how each model holds its resale value. Ask your insurance agent about the premiums for the models on your short list – you may be surprised how much the ongoing cost of your luxury vehicle will be. With a short list of the cars you’re most drawn to in hand, it’s time for test drives. Don’t neglect used models, and don’t get attached to the car salesman: this is all about the car. Find the vehicle that makes you feel the way a luxury car is supposed to make you feel. Shell out for a mechanic to go over any used cars you’re considering, and make a final decision on the model you want. If you have more than one option for where to buy your dream car, you can begin negotiating and comparing dealerships. For luxury cars, you may not have more than one choice unless you’re prepared to travel. u
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{Lifestyle}
Theft
Identity
9 million Americans a year are victims of identity theft or credit card fraud. One quarter of the cases simply involve a thief using a stolen card, but some victims find themselves with loans taken out in their names, ruined credit, and years of problems.
{Protect Yourself from Identity Theft} How do thieves get the information they need to steal someone’s identity? One of the most common places is the wastebasket. Shred papers with sensitive information like credit card numbers, social security numbers, or bank account numbers. You can toss them on the fire or at least make sure that you throw them away at home and not in a public area where someone could easily get them. Think, too, about going paperless. If you get your credit card statements, bank statements, and other sensitive documents electronically, you won’t have any papers to worry about. While many people worry about sending this kind of information over the internet, electronic documents of this kind aren’t actually sent over the internet at all. A secure portal sends the information in an encrypted form from one server to another. It’s never out where internet surfers can find it, and also not kept in a file in any computer unless you save a copy on your own computer. Electronic information is only secure if it travels through a secure portal. You can tell whether a portal is secure
or not by looking at the web address bar. It’s at the top of your screen when you’re online. If you’re thinking about shopping online or filling out a form with sensitive information, look at the address of the site. If it says, “https” in the address, it’s secure. If it says only “http,” then it is not a secure site. Most websites aren’t secure, because they’re meant for information or entertainment, not shopping or banking. The “http” address doesn’t mean anything negative about a site. Just don’t give credit card numbers or other personal data at an insecure site. When you log into a secure website on a public computer (including the computer at work), don’t allow it to remember your password. Consider using a service like LastPass to manage your online passwords. Websites aren’t the only security issue online. Those messages you get asking for your bank details so a princess can send you money? They’re called phishing messages, and they intend to steal your information. Some are harder to recognize, though. They may seem to come from your bank, from PayPal, from the IRS, or from a
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{Lifestyle} charity. Reputable organizations won’t just send you an email like that, so you should ignore these messages or report them as spam. If you’re not certain, call the organization that seems to be sending you the message (don’t use a number given in the email you’re wondering about; look them up) and ask. Be cautious about those numbers in your daily life, too. Watch out about using ATM’s or even inputting credit card numbers on your own phone in public places. Someone standing behind you can watch and memorize the numbers. Don’t carry your social
security card, birth certificate or passport when you don’t need it; if you lose your wallet you could be giving a lot of sensitive data to anyone who finds it. Avoid using your social security number as your ID number for your driver license, student ID, or any other identification. You may be asked for your social security number, but this is usually just for convenience. Finally, check your financial statements and credit report from time to time to make sure no unauthorized transactions have taken place. u
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The Location Is Primo
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Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
Kirk
{Lifestyle}
Bradshaw {High Profile}
There are many success stories within the walls of Our House. Take Leah for instance; She moved into her own apartment in April 2010 after a ten-month stay at Our House Shelter. Through one of Our House’s many programs Leah received assistance with her utility deposit for electricity and full rental assistance for three months. Leah was then able to move into a neighborhood that is walking distance to her son’s school and very near her job. Leah also re-enrolled at Philander Smith College where she is studying biology with the intention of graduating in 2011. Upon graduation, Leah hopes to earn more money as a researcher and will consider going on to medical school. It is stories like Leah’s that keeps Kirk Bradshaw passion for Our House alive and energized. Kirk will steer the helm for Our House’s annual fundraiser Dinner on the Grounds on Friday, May 6th. With more than 400 friends and supporters slated to gather at the Governor’s Mansion gardens for a casual, outdoor Southern supper event, Kirk has his eye on raising a record amount to enable more success stories and awareness for Our House.
working homeless person, getting them back on their feet, and making sure they are never homeless again,” says Kirk. New to Dinner on the Grounds this year will be an exclusive after party at the Capital Hotel. Sponsored in part by the Oxford American Magazine; “After Hours for Our House” will feature music from True Soul Revue, a southern soul band that is a true local favorite. “This added element will bring new friends to the mission of Our House by offering a lower priced admission,” says Kirk. “Dinner on the Grounds will wrap up around 8:30 and we’ll crank up After Hours for Our House at 9:00. It will be the perfect close to the day,” he says.
“My involvement with Our House has opened my eyes to the misconceptions about the homeless community,” says Kirk. “Many folks feel the face of a homeless person is that of a drug addict or alcoholic, says Kirk. Actually, the largest growing sector in the homeless community is military related.” Men and women who have returned from military duty have reached out to Our House for help in transitioning back into their community. “People should remember that the next time they are encountered by a homeless person, says Kirk. Homelessness doesn’t have a face.”
After his role as chairman of Dinner on the Grounds and After Hours for Our House is over, Kirk will have little time to catch his breath before he embarks on his next project. Kirk serves on the City Year and Arkansas Literacy board of directors in addition to serving on the Our House board. Kirk has also agreed to sponsor a summer program that is being planned by Create Little Rock, the young professional’s talent development initiative at the Chamber of Commerce. Create Little Rock seeks to attract, retain and grow talent in the Little Rock region. The purpose of the internship initiative will be to help interns and clerks who are in Little Rock this summer feel more connected to the city. “It’s important for them to stay here when they finish their summer assignments or come back and make Little Rock their home after they graduate,” says Kirk.
As a financial advisor with Edward Jones Investments, Kirk brings a no nonsense approach to raising funds for non profits. “One of the most important things I learned while at NYU was the fact that donors want to see results with their philanthropic giving,” says Kirk. “Our House is about taking a
Sponsorship opportunities for Dinner on the Grounds and After Hours for Our House are still available. Contact Our House Development Assistant Manon Jacob at 501.374.7383 extension 228 or by email at events@ourhouseshelter.org. u
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Personal Care
{Need some tips?}
From Hair Removal, Cologne, Improving Appearance, and Stain Removal.
Hair {Personal Care}
Even as you’re using products to make the thatch on your head look as thick as possible, modern style demands that a man keep his body hair groomed.
{A Simple Guide to Body Hair Removal} Waxing
Waxing is one of the more common ways for a guy to keep his hirsuteness in line. When you go for a wax, the technician will spread hot wax on your eyebrows, back, chest, or whatever parts you offer up, pat on fabric, and then pull it off: fabric, wax, hair, and all. It’s not a very comfortable procedure, but it pulls the whole hair out so it lasts longer than shaving. Waxing also discourages the hair over time. This means that you can eventually end up with less chest hair, for example, and give up the waxing.
Electrolysis
Electrolysis is a more high-tech means of hair removal that hurts slightly less than the ancient technique of waxing. The technician will zap your hair follicle and kill it. While it can take a full year to completely remove hair, the FDA has approved electrolysis for permanent hair removal. It’s not impossible to perform electrolysis on a back or chest, but since it’s done one hair at a time, you are talking about a long procedure.
Laser Hair Removal
Laser hair removal uses a laser to destroy the hair, and five treatments will leave most guys hairless. This method isn’t painful, but it works best on people with light skin and dark hair. Discuss it with the technician if you don’t fit that profile; you might face the possibility of skin damage. Laser hair removal can also thin out hair, if you want to control unruly chest hair without removing it completely. While laser hair removal sessions cost more than electrolysis, there are also fewer sessions involved, so it may work out about the same.
DIY
Do it yourself methods include shaving, using electric trimmers, and plucking hairs with tweezers. Plucking hairs takes time and the practicality of the method depends on your having easy access to the hairs involved. We don’t recommend it for back hair, for example. Eyebrows, sure. Hold an ice cube against the skin where the hair is to numb it a bit, pull it taut, and pull the hair with a good quality pair of tweezers. Shaving and trimming are probably already in your repertoire, and you know how often you’ll have to repeat the treatment to keep your body as well groomed as you want it to be. There are special electric razors for shaving the back or buttocks safely. This method is both the cheapest and the least painful, but also the least longlasting. There are also depilatories, creams or gels containing chemicals which kill the hairs. Many of these are harsh, so it’s wise to do a patch test, trying the depilatory out on a small area before spreading it all over your back or chest. Try a couple of different brands before you give up on this one; all the formulations are different, so some might be too harsh for your skin while some might not work on your hair. With so many methods to choose from, you’re bound to find one method that works perfectly for you. u
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{Personal Care}
Cologne Cologne can give your style a bit of finish, make women want to stand closer to you, and make a statement about your world view. That’s a lot to ask from a bottle of liquid, so you’ll have to put some effort into creating the effect.
{A Guide to Choosing a Cologne} Choose a fragrance not on the basis of the ads you see or the swashbuckling packaging, but on the scent. Head down to the men’s fragrance counter of your favorite store – but make sure it’s a store that offers the chance to try the fragrance out, and particularly the chance to use slips of card for the first round.
walk into the store by learning a little more about scent. Scents are built like chords, from deep musky notes on the bottom through woodsy or spicy middle tones and finishing off with green or citrus notes at the top. A traditional men’s cologne might have ingredients like musk, sandalwood, and bergamot.
You can only smell about three different scents before your receptors give out and you lose the ability to smell at all. Spritz some of three different colognes on cards and smell them, then walk around a bit or take a good whiff of coffee to clear your olfactory receptors.
Some colognes head more in one direction than another. A musky scent will have dominant notes of musk or amber. A woodsy scent will have cedar, spruce, sandalwood, or tobacco. A green scent will have prominent notes of vetiver or herbs like rosemary, sage, and lavender. Ask the experts at the cologne counter to steer your towards fragrances in one of these categories.
Once you’ve narrowed your choice down, you’ve got to try the top contenders out on your skin. Cologne is made of chemicals, and they interact with your personal chemistry so that every scent smells just a bit different on you from the way it smells on anyone else. Spray cologne on the inside of your wrist. That’s a pulse point, so it’ll warm up and develop its full flavor there faster than if you put it somewhere else. There are other pulse points, but your wrist is the most readily accessible. Wait a minute and then sniff. Remember the three scent rule at this stage, too. If this sounds like a fun way to spend an afternoon, you’re set. If not, narrow down the options before you
Once you’ve chosen a brand of cologne that suits you, consider buying more than one form. Layering is the best way to wear fragrance. You use soap or shower gel in the same scent as your after shave, cologne, or other body products, and you’ll have a long lasting, subtle scent. By comparison, if you try to get the same effect with only cologne, you’ll be overpowering at the beginning of the day and lose the scent in the evening. Apply cologne to your pulse points: the wrists, the base of the throat, the inside of the elbow. You can change your cologne to suit your mood or choose a signature fragrance. u
No.42
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
Appearance {Personal Care}
{Top 10 Habits to Improve Your Appearance} No.10 Change your Bedsheets
Dirty pillow cases are a prime reason for breakouts, so switching your sheets once a week will reduce your skin’s contact with pore-clogging grime. It’s particularly important to lay out some fresh bedding if you frequently have a female in your bed, as residue from women’s makeup and hair products can get left behind on your sheets and subsequently be transferred to your face.
No.9 Shampoo no more than once a day
Ideally, you should wash your hair no more than a few times a week as over-shampooing can strip your hair of its natural oils, leaving it dull and brittle. If you’re a regular exerciser, however, you can’t get around lathering up on a daily basis, so make sure to follow up with an intensive conditioner. For men who can’t get morning workouts in, skip the shampoo session if you shower in the a.m. and suds up only after you exercise later in the day.
No.8 Floss every day and whiten teeth every six months
For a more attractive smile, nothing beats regular flossing as it gets rid of any unsightly buildup between your teeth. Take things one step further by using a drugstore whitening kit, which will do an excellent job of noticeably, but not freakishly, lightening the color of your teeth. Just make sure you whiten no more than once every six months or you could develop sensitive gums. For a week after whitening, avoid consuming products that could stain your teeth, such as red wine, coffee and soy sauce, and brush your teeth as soon as you can if you slip up.
No.7 See a barber every three to six weeks
Keeping your hair trimmed is an easy way to ensure that you always look polished. It’s also typically inexpensive and quick. Once you’ve found a barber you like, stick with him so that he’ll always get it right when you come in for a cut.
No.6 Shave after showering
Steaming up your bathroom is a bit like creating your own personal sauna. This humid environment will open up your pores, make your facial hair softer and plumper, and prime your follicles, all of which will reduce your chances of developing ingrown hairs and experiencing razor burn. If you don’t have time for a shower, create a hot compress by soaking a face towel in hot water and then applying it to your face for two to three minutes.
No.5 Cleanse, moisturize, apply eye care cream, and use lip balm every morning
A basic skin care routine is an absolute must for improving your appearance. Start with a mild cleanser, preferably one with a 2% concentration of salicylic acid to help zap zits. Follow it up two to three times a week with an exfoliant to really get the gunk out of your skin and slough off dead cells. Next, apply a moisturizer that contains a broad-spectrum SPF to replenish your skin’s moisture levels and prevent aging related to sun damage. Then dab on an eye cream, working from the outside in toward the center of your face, to hydrate and keep the thin skin in this region supple. Finally, slick on a lip balm with an SPF of 15 to keep your lips soft, smooth and kissable.
No.44
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Personal Care}
No.4 Avoid sugar and simple carbs
A diet that’s high in lean protein, vegetables, slowdigesting grains, and healthy fats is one that will reduce bloating in your belly and decrease any puffiness in your face. Furthermore, steering clear of sugar and simple carbs will go a long way toward eliminating acne or keeping it at bay as junk food, even in moderate amounts, is a common cause of troubled skin.
No.3 Get eight hours of sleep
Those seven to nine hours that you should be spending unconscious every day are when your body repairs itself. Skimping on this vital restorative process makes your entire system run less efficiently, and the signs of sleep deprivation show up on your face first. In fact, all it takes is a few nights without enough sleep before you start looking like a haggard zombie. On the other hand, prioritizing sleep will guarantee you appear refreshed and alert and it will also decrease puffy eyes and unflattering dark circles.
No.2 Drink eight glasses of water a day
Staying hydrated keeps you healthy and reduces the appearance of wrinkles. Sipping water slowly rather than pounding it also makes it easier for your body to absorb. Additionally, be mindful of your caffeine and alcohol intake. Both substances are diuretics, meaning they cause your body to release water, which can translate into pasty, dry skin and more visible fine lines. Offset your consumption of these beverages by drinking an 8oz glass of water for each caffeinated or alcoholic drink you indulge in.
No.1 Consider exercise non-negotiable
The No. 1 way to improve your appearance is to get fit. Start thinking of exercise as a must-do item on your to-do list and you’ll slow down the aging process, get betterlooking skin, increase your confidence, and on top of everything, you’ll feel amazing. Engage in physical activity in the morning, and you’ll benefit further by burning more fat and kicking off your day with a feel-good endorphin rush. An early sweat session will also boost your circulation, so you’ll have clear, bright skin all day long -- a potent sign to women that you’re a virile, healthy bedmate. u
No.45
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
Stains {Personal Care}
{Do It Yourself Stain Removal} Gold Bond Powder
Hair Spray
Lemon
Shortening
Hydrogen Peroxide
Glycerin
Salt
OxiClean Stain Remover
Liquid Dishwasher Detergent
Shampoo
Club Soda
Clorox Bleach Pen
Aspirin
Cream of Tartar
Rubbing Alcohol
Baking Soda
For: Grease How: Sprinkle on stain, let dry, brush off, and wash For: Rust How: Squeeze onto stain, add salt and launder
For: Tree sap How: Rub onto stain then rinse
For: Blood How: Apply directly to stain and launder
For: Mustard How: Apply to stain, let sit and rinse
For: Red wine How: Sprinkle on wet stain, let dry and brush off For: Anything How: Pour on stain, let sit for ten minutes and wash For: Anything How: Sponge onto wet stain and dry with towel
Corn Starch
For: Grease How: Apply to stain. Dry.
For: Anything How: Follow package directions For: Soiled shirt collar How: Brush on and launder For: Anything How: Follow instructions
For: Sweat stains How: Drop two pills in water, soak stain in solution For: Glass How: Sponge on and wash with detergent
For: Ink How: Spray onto stain, let dry, and then wash
For: Chili sauce How: Mix with lemon juice, apply and launder For: Coffee How: Add water to make a paste. Apply, let dry then rinse. u
No.46
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
“My new Stryker knee gives me incredible mobility but what really moves me is being able to play with my kids again.” If you suffer from osteoarthritis like Jeff did, you know how painful it can be. What you might not realize is that it will only get worse over time. That’s why it’s important to keep up with new advancements in joint replacement technology like the Stryker Triathlon® Knee System — designed to fit, feel, and move like your natural knee so it can help you kneel down to tie your kids’ shoes or climb stairs again. Stryker has been a company committed to developing longer lasting joint replacement technology for more than 40 years, and offers patients a wide range of knee replacement options utilizing advanced materials.
When you’re ready to get moving again be sure to ask your doctor for the option that’s best for you. To learn more about the Triathlon® Knee System and receive a free information kit with a list of Stryker specialists in your area, visit www.aboutStryker.com or call 1-888-STRYKER. Stryker provides educational information only, not medical advice. Joint replacement surgery, like any major surgery, involves recovery time and risks, including allergic reactions, blood clots, revision surgery, and in rare cases, death. See your orthopaedic surgeon to determine if joint replacement surgery is right for you, and discuss all the risks. The results and lifetime of joint replacement surgery vary depending on age, weight, activity levels, etc. ©2007 Stryker. Products referenced with the ® designation are registered trademarks of Stryker.
Jeff Gill, Stryker knee replacement, 2005
Health & Fitness {Need some tips?}
Effects of Exercise, Nature Survival Guide, Financial Health, and Developing Lean Muscle.
{Health & Fitness}
The
Effects of Exercise By: Jesse Burks, DPM, FACFAS
Zumba scares me. I don’t think I can move that quickly or in that many directions in rapid succession. Running? Riding? Yeah, I can run. I can ride. It’s fairly straight forward and doesn’t tend to challenge my coordination and cardiovascular system at the same time. I can “zone out” and still get a great workout. Zumba? Not so much. I’m afraid I would dislocate something or possibly impinge a vital nerve. It’s hard for me to think AND workout. Plus…I can’t dance.
{To Zumba or Not To Zumba} Even though Zumba probably isn’t right for me, it’s right for a lot of people. I respect that. I respect anyone – of any size or shape – that is willing to just be active, to just move. When I go to the gym, strap on my I pod full of Air Supply and Motley Crue songs and start pedaling, I’m envious. I’m envious of the pulsating drums I hear in the aerobics room. I’m envious of the sweaty, gyrating calories being burnt in that back room and the fun everyone seems to be having. But, before long the swish, swish of my feet and the soft sounds of “Even the Nights are Better” draws me back to my own exercise comfort zone. As a healthcare provider, I’ve seen thousands of patients in 12 years of practice. One pearl I can give you is that people are always healthier, mentally and physically, when they move. It may not be a lot of movement. It may just be a slow walk on a nice day. It doesn’t have to be anything as remotely intense as Zumba…or even running, but being active on a regular basis can add quantity, and will definitely add quality to your life. I think Matthew McConaughey, who was once called “pudgy” – prompting him to become an exercise fanatic – said it best, “I just try to sweat a little everyday.” The active patients I see may have aches and pains. They may have unfortunate injuries. BUT, I see just as many patients with aches, pains, and injuries that aren’t active.
In addition, these patients routinely have other health problems that complicate their orthopedic problems. In the comedy “What About Bob?”, Richard Dreyfus plays a psychiatrist hounded by an obsessive compulsive patient played by Bill Murray. Dr. Dreyfus publishes a book and encourages people to take “baby steps”. I think that is some of the simplest and most profound advice a patient can receive. No matter how old, young, sore, weak, heavy, or skinny, any type of activity – no matter how small it seems – is a start. From an older person simply walking a few laps around the inside of his or her house to the 20 year old who can deliver cattle on his back for Heifer International. It all adds up. One day I may venture closer to that back room where the drums are pounding, people are pumping their fists and hips in unison, and most of the outfits could be worn comfortably at most trendy restaurants. But, for now, I’m going to continue simply moving, running, riding and being scared of Zumba. u
No.49
Jesse Burks, DPM, FACFAS
Dr. Burks is a foot and ankle specialist practicing with OrthoSurgeons in Little Rock. He is a native of Bryant and still lives there with his wife and three sons.
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Health & Fitness}
Guide
Survival
Henry Schoolcraft visited Northern Arkansas in 1812 and kept a detailed journal, leaving us one of the few documents describing life in the wilderness that was Arkansas at the time. He was enchanted by the beauty of the Ozarks, but he also nearly died, though surrounded by water, wild game, and plentiful resources, because of his lack of wilderness skills.
{A Nature Survival Guide} 21st century Arkansas is a far cry from Arkansas in 1812, but you can still find yourself in a wild setting and in need of some survival skills. You don’t think of survival when you’re going hiking or going to the lake, but you still need some survival skills. They can be summed up with, “Remember you’re not in your living room.” That is, be sure to wear sunscreen, carry water, and tell someone where you’re going. Drink responsibly so you won’t be one of the hunters who falls out of the deer stand or one of the boaters who falls asleep at the tiller. Don’t touch those three-leaved plants and don’t play with wild animals. We know these things, but it’s easy to forget them when we’re out having fun. Beyond those basics, though, there are some skills that are worth learning before you get out into the wilds. Get yourself a flint and steel set and practice with it till you can light a fire without matches. Once you’ve gotten the hang of it, you can do this with your pocket knife and a good quartz rock. A piece of “char,” fabric that has been burnt to charcoal, is the traditional tinder for this method, but a bit of moss or bark will work, too. You’ll also need a nest of tinder, a bunch of dry flammable stuff gathered together into the shape of a nest so oxygen can get in. Hold the rock in one hand with the char and hold the knife in the other. Strike the rock with the knife till you get a spark, and let the spark fall onto
the char. Put the char into the tinder nest and blow on it gently till you have a fire. A magnifying glass will also start a fire, if you use it to focus the heat of the sun onto one spot and put your tinder nest there. Your glasses will even work, if you don’t have a magnifying glass with you. Put water on them to focus the beam better, and make sure you hold them in such a way that you get a concentrated beam of sunlight on the tinder. In our area, there are often natural shelters that will keep you protected from the elements. If you find yourself in an open area with no natural shelter, you’ll need to build a shelter. A lean-to or teepee made with sticks and covered with bark or branches will provide shelter from sun, rain, or wind. Get out your Boy Scout handbook and make one for fun in your backyard, and you’ll know how if an emergency arises. The “rule of three” says that we can live for three minutes without air, three days without water, or three weeks without food. Chances are, none of these deadlines will come up while you’re lost in the woods, but of the three, water is the most likely to become a pressing need. If you find a natural source of water, it’s best to boil it or treat it with water treatment pellets before drinking it. Contaminated water can lead to diarrhea and dehydration. Even if you never need these skills, having them will give you a sense of confidence when you’re out in nature. u
No.50
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Health & Fitness}
Financial
Health
The world witnessed a social revolution in Egypt this month. After three weeks of twitter facilitated rallies, President Mubarak resigned and turned the government over to the Egyptian military. I can not recall ever seeing millions of people celebrating for being placed under martial law. Watching the celebration, I was impressed with how valuable freedom is and how much we in the U. S. take it for granted.
{It’s about Financial Freedom} Based on the Egyptian “model” several countries with non-democratic governments have seen attempts by their citizens to demonstrate their way into freedom. Demonstrations are occurring in Bahrain, Yemen, Libya, Iran and Diuibouti. The result has been strong reaction from government leaders to quell the demonstrations, resulting in hundreds of demonstrator deaths. The demonstrations are also causing economic ripples in the regions involved. For many of these countries, financial markets are declining, trade relations are threatened, and military responses are being evaluated to protect existing commodity supplies, such as oil. The next few weeks will determine if government reactions affect the determination of the demonstrators, and if they will be successful. Many of those demonstrators who continue to organize and speak out will pay a high
price for their participation. They have incredible resolve and their desire for a better life for themselves and their children is motivating them to do whatever they can to make a change. Another major event over the past two weeks has been the discussion about the U. S. government debt and President Obama’s new budget proposal. For the next month, we will be flooded with information about the details of the proposal and how effective or ineffective it will be in helping us address the huge U. S. debt. As I reviewed some of the information that illustrated the magnitude of our debt, I realized how much of a threat it actually is to our way of life, including some of the freedoms we take for granted as “rights”. For instance, is health insurance a right or a privilege? How
No.52
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Health & Fitness} about owning a home? How about an education? I could go on, but you get the idea; many of the things we don’t think about until they are at risk are taken for granted or considered a right. Those rights we are given through the constitution or our laws, such as the right to vote or the right to assemble and demonstrate, have received less attention; less focus on them as valuable. We can put the U. S. debt into perspective by looking at the threat it poses to our way of life easier than counting zeros in the debt number. Most of us don’t deal in trillions on a daily basis so it doesn’t connect to a real value for us. So let’s look at the debt in a different light. Unless a debt, whether a car loan, mortgage or a national debt has the principle reduced, the effect is cumulative. That is, the debt grows and grows. In the case of the U. S. debt, we are now still paying for the invasion of Iraq in the Gulf War, the 2001 tax cuts and all the other expenditures of the past decade. Because we have not reduced the principle, the debt balance just keeps growing. In comparison to a family, this is the equivalent of running up the balance on the credit cards without paying of the principle balance. The interest charges just keep adding to the balance. As we make interest-only payments, the new expenditures just add to the existing balance. Eventually, we begin to struggle to pay the interest as it becomes a larger and larger percentage of our income. When families who have limited income do this, they see more and more of their take-home pay allocated to interest payments. If this continues, the family income can not purchase goods and services as they once did. This is what is happening to the U. S. debt service. Over the next decade, nearly 80% of the national debt will be from added interest charges. As interest rates increase this will only become a bigger problem. Families can not increase their income at will, but the government can raise new income through increasing taxes, reducing expenditures such as Social Security payments, Medicare and Medicaid. It can also reduce tax cuts to receive more tax revenue even if tax rates are not increased. However, unlike entitlement programs, the interest payments can only be altered through budget cuts. That means spending less.
According to the Administration, the interest payments on the U. S. debt will quadruple over the next decade, and every man, woman and child will in the country will be paying more than $2,500 per year in interest. Starting as early as 2014 , this will be more than we are spending on education, transportation, energy and all other discretionary programs except defense. Under the current budget proposal, the only expenditures greater than servicing the debt would be Social Security and defense. Since the nation’s debt is growing faster than the economy, the debt will begin to threaten what we do as a nation in providing services that a lot of us consider “rights”. It is apparent that we must make some changes in order to protect the integrity of our borrowing ability and to protect those services the government provides to us that we have come to expect. I believe we should seriously consider what our role should be in making our voices heard that change is needed and needed now. We can not continue to ignore our debt and threaten our way of life. I believe it is time to become vocal to our elected officials to get serious about reducing our debt. I hope each of us places a high value on our freedom and the standard of living we enjoy. It is important for us today and more important to our children and grandchildren so they won’t inherit a situation that could have been corrected. u Text By: Harold Grubbs RFC, AIF® Financial Analyst for Financial Management, Inc.
No.53
FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT
I N C O R P O R A T E D
www.financialmanagementinc.com
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
Chain
{Health & Fitness}
Reaction
By David Larkan
The serious athletes who are finished for the season are probably already thinking about off-season training. Maybe you had a decent year in your sport but your competition always seemed to be bigger and faster. You’re tired of being told that you’ll grow into it, that speed isn’t something that can be taught.
{Developing Lean Muscle} You remember some of the guys in the locker room being really jacked and one thing is for sure they didn’t get that way from the school weight room. Now, another season has come and gone and it’s time to make a vow to become, to transform into the athlete inside you. Yes, rest is important in growth (and to recover from injuries), but too much rest brings atrophy. A strong off-season training program can prepare a player to “bring it” when the new season comes around. A whole new level of success awaits you if you find the right training regimen and aren’t afraid to change some things up. The key to realizing the gains and making vast improvements is to search out innovative ways to constantly train muscle groups to work together not in isolation. One more note, the only thing that cannot be taught is to have heart, a passion that burns deep to be the best you can be. If you have heart, then all things are possible.
to your routine. Adding chains to weights that you are already lifting will increase the weight at the end of the lift, maximizing contraction. Chains draped or wrapped on your body can add weight and resistance to push ups, deadlifts and more. The added resistance of a heavy chain makes you recruit more fast-twitch muscle fibers, the ones that grow the fastest and strongest (and often the biggest). Chains add a unique drag to the barbell known as accommodating resistance. The extra resistance helps to work more muscles and can give you unreal pumps and blast you through those plateaus we all encounter. This will help give you developed lean muscle mass and improve your overall performance and conditioning. At Train Elite chains are just one of the explosive tools we use in our arsenal. You owe it to yourself to come check us out. u
Chances are that if you have spent some time in an elite training studio, you’ve seen someone working out with one or more chains. While training with chains may benefit you with the imagery of toughness and power there are plenty of physical benefits to adding chains
David Larkan is owner of TRAIN Elite and is available for consultation and training. For more information call 501-749-0123 or visit trainelite.org.
No.54
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
Not Your Typical Gym
individual or small group training TRAIN Elite 1501 Club Manor, Ste 2 Maumelle AR www.trainelite.org 501.749.0123 www.facebook.com/trainelite
Style {Need some tips?} The Meaning of Color, How to Choose a Diamond, Must Have Essentials, Alterations, and How to Maintain your Clothing.
Colors {Style}
You put on that conservative navy suit and classic white shirt, and reach out to select a tie. Or you pull on some jeans and grab a T-shirt. You do one of these things, or something very similar, every day when you get dressed. Whether you’re a fashion maven, follow the rules, or take a practical approach to clothing, you can’t help making a statement. Your choice of colors sends a message.
{The Meaning of Color} Wearing black can be the most conservative choice, or it can be an announcement about how powerful you are – or plan to be. Unless you’re dressing for a situation where black is required (a black tie event or a funeral, perhaps), black is a power color. Red is also a power color. In fact, it has an aggressive side. A black suit with a red tie or black jeans with a red shirt tells the world you’re powerful and aggressive. Nothing wrong with that, but that may not be the best choice for a job interview, a date, or a press conference. Red is a warm color, and it is physiologically exciting, as are the other warm colors, orange and yellow. Orange and yellow can make people around you feel upbeat and excited, which is why so many sports teams use these colors. However, in a situation in which that energy level isn’t appropriate, they can make people irritated. Bright yellow, especially, is very eye-catching and hard to ignore. Both yellow and orange also have traditionally been associated with the lower classes (ever since the Middle Ages, when these were cheapest colors of dye). Wear these colors in fun situations, or go with very pale versions: a butter yellow tie can be mentally stimulating without overwhelming anyone.
Trying to look approachable? Go with blue. Blue is the favorite color of the majority of people in the world, and it carries a message of loyalty. Even with a black suit, a blue tie reminds people that you’re true blue. Pink makes you look friendly. A pink shirt or tie can be a good choice if you’re worried about seeming intimidating, or to lull someone into a false sense of security. Green is a color associated with wealth and abundance. Hunter green and other deep greens are often perceived as upper class colors and they radiate self confidence. Shades like sage and olive feel like neutrals, but also suggest creativity. Yellow greens are trendy this year. Greens mix well with other colors, so think of olive pants, a hunter green sweater, or even a narrow tie in the green of the fruit (not the peel) of a lime. Purple was once the color of royalty, and it still tends to make the wearer seem unapproachable. Wearing purple is like saying, “I’m different from you!” When that’s what you want to say, a scarf or tie is the right amount of color to make that statement without looking eccentric. u
No.57
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
Diamonds {Style}
Buying a diamond is always a special occasion, whether it’s for an engagement, anniversary, or another special occasion. The cost of a diamond is determined by four primary criteria, the 4 C’s: Cut, Color, Clarity and Carat Weight. Sissy Jones of Sissy’s Log Cabin in Little Rock and Pine Bluff, who has been selling diamonds for 41 years, says that modern shoppers usually “study up a little before they come in.” Here are the basics:
{How to Choose a Diamond} CUT
The cut of a diamond determines how it sparkles in the light. When a diamond is cut correctly, light is reflected from one facet to another, then dispersed through the top of the stone. If the cut of the diamond is too deep, some light escapes through the opposite side of the pavilion. If the cut is too shallow, light escapes through the pavilion before it can be reflected. Don’t confuse the cut of a diamond with its shape. Diamonds can be cut into a number of shapes, depending on the qualities of the rough stone before it is cut. The most popular diamond shapes are round, marquise, pear, emerald, oval and heart. Sissy Jones, though, says that young women prefer the princess cut. Whatever the shape, a well-cut diamond is the work of a master diamond cutter. When the cut is right the diamond gives more sparkle.
COLOR
Diamonds range in color from faint yellow or brown to very rare pinks, blues, greens, and other colors known as “fancies.” The best color for a diamond is no color at all. A totally colorless diamond allows light to pass through it easily, resulting in the light being dispersed as the color of the rainbow. Colors are graded from totally colorless to light yellow. The differences from one grade to the other are very subtle and it takes a trained eye and years of experience to color grade a diamond.
CLARITY
A diamond’s clarity is determined by using a 10-power magnifying glass and a trained eye. The grades of clarity
include Flawless (FL), Internally Flawless (IF) – minor surface blemishes, Very, very small inclusions (VVS1 VVS2), Very small inclusions (VS1-VS2), Small inclusions (SI1 – SI2), Inclusions visible to the naked eye. Most diamonds contain very tiny impurities known as “inclusions.” An inclusion can interfere with the light passing through the diamond. The fewer the inclusion, the more beautiful the diamond will be. Diamonds can be more brilliant than any other gemstone. A diamond that is free of inclusions and surface blemishes is very rare and therefore very valuable.
CARAT-WEIGHT
This is the weight of a diamond measured in carats. One carat is divided into 100 “points.” So that a diamond of 75 points weight is .75 ct. The carat-weight of a diamond is the easiest measurement to determine. Most importantly, two diamonds can be of equal carat-weight, but their value can differ greatly due to their cut, color, and clarity. Jones emphasizes that there are a lot of factors involved in the price of a diamond. At Sissy’s Log Cabin, she says, “We ask how much they want to spend, and we get ‘em into the best diamond for the money.” There’s more to it even than that. “People love to buy diamonds,” she continues. “It’s a token of love, and women love to receive diamonds.” Don’t rush into your diamond purchase. Take your time and evaluate your choice carefully. It took thousands of years for nature to form your diamond and the skill of a master diamond cutter to bring your diamond to you. The time you spend now can bring you a lifetime of pleasure. u
No.58
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Style}
The
Essentials
The most fundamental and stylish possessions a man can own are the ones that help him enjoy life. There are ten things every man needs to have in his wardrobe, no matter what kind of work he does, where he lives, or how old he is.
{The Essentials You Should Have} 1. Suit. Angles are Attitudes.
Every man deserves at least one jaw dropping suit. All bad suits are more or less the same—bad. Good suits, however, are a more diverse and complicated species. Identifying what makes the best of the best is far from straightforward. Cloth, detail and color come into it and finish is vital, but it’s the cut that ultimately counts. ….is one reliable source for such a suit. The …brand offers bespoke and off-the-peg clothing and the cut is sharp and will set you apart from the notch-label wearing masses. It’s a suit that could emerge in any decade and look pretty sharp in any one of them. You can go with navy or black, but charcoal gray is the most versatile color for most men.
2. Make a Clean Break With a White Shirt.
There is not a more diverse weapon in a man’s arsenal that a crisp white shirt. You can never have too many and you can never wear them too often. Traditionalists prefer a medium spread collar that sits high on the neck, with a quarter inch of stark white cuff on the wrists. Bonus point for a matching pocket square.
3. Tie One On.
With a wide range of shirts, trousers and jackets available for men now, how to choose a tie that will go well with most of your ensembles is an inevitable question. Purchase ties according to the event. Have a range of ties that not only suit your boardroom meetings but also perk up your office party or the informal business gathering. A solid dark color, a subtle geometric pattern, or a diagonal stripe is the classic option. Make sure your tie is darker than your shirt, and avoid having it match anything else you wear. Choose a tie that is thick enough to withstand daily tying and removing routine. While thin fabric may wear or tear off easily, thick fabric will make the knot look bulky and ugly. Silk is the first choice, but cotton or a traditional knit will be acceptable.
4. V is for Versatile.
A V-neck sweater is a versatile garment that can be dressed both up and down. A casual look can include a V-neck sweater worn with shorts or jeans and a T-shirt underneath the sweater. For dressier occasions, they can be worn in combination with khaki trousers and either
No.60
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Style} a solid colored or patterned collared shirt. Choose a solid color that will bridge business to casual, and make it a color that works with that tie of yours.
5. Read My Hips…Blue Jeans that Fit.
Why are blue jeans, that most blameless and universal item of apparel, the one thing men always get wrong? A list of offenses against what may be the perfect garment include bad washes, machine made wear holes, bleached in crease marks called whiskers, rises so high it makes the guy look like he’s wearing Huggies Pull Ups or so low they create entirely unwelcome dorsal cleavage. It sounds simplistic, but to find great-looking jeans now, look first for fit. Stick to dark blues and let real wear do the job of distressing your trousers. Say no to whiskers, in other words. Buy jeans rinsed if you cannot stand to break in trousers that initially feel as if they had been cut from a refrigerator box with a utility knife. Whatever you do, steer well away from those pale blue relaxed-fit denims that caused the president so much grief when he was accused of wearing mommy jeans. The essential element of jeans style is nonstyle — that, and one other thing: They have to fit your rear.
9. T-Shirt—The classic white T shirt is a must.
Depending on the circles you travel in, you might choose a polo shirt here or a Henley. A casual knit shirt to throw on with jeans is what we’re going for here.
10. Climate Control—Basic Coat.
The first basic function of a coat is warmth. If you live in a place where a coat is more an accessory than a necessity, opt for a lighter material and a shorter cut. You’ll want something more like a jacket that ends right at the waist like a pea coat or even a leather jacket. A trench coat should work in most climes as well. Wool and tweed are still very classic fabrics for coats that last a long time; read all the directions for storing and caring for these fabrics, however, because that can effect the durability. Lately, cotton polyester blends are common for every kind of clothing, including coats. If you plan to have only one coat in your closet, and you want it to last for several years, you need a black or a dark gray coat. These are a smart investment, and every man should have at least one coat that he can wear to work, out to dinner, and to a casual event with friends without looking improperly dressed. u
6. Walk Tall with Leather Shoes.
Stylish men know the value of a well-stocked shoe collection. Good quality shoes that work well with your suit are a necessity. It may not be fair, but lots of people judge a man by the quality of his shoes, so go for the best you can afford and take good care of them. Everything from the style (e.g. lace-up, loafer) and color (e.g., ink black, brown, burgundy) to leather (e.g., calf, crocodile) are elements to consider.
7. A Leather Belt.
A simple leather belt goes great with jeans or dress pants and never goes out of style. The most important tip: Match the shoes.
8. Khakis.
There may come a time when you can’t wear jeans to an event and you’d feel conspicuous in a suit. Go for flat front if you feel too young for khakis.
No.61
{10 Essentials} Suit White Shirt Tie V-neck Sweater Blue Jeans Leather Shoes Leather Belt Khakis T-Shirt Basic Coat
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
{Style}
Alterations
Looking really sharp in a suit is all about the fit. Suits are made for hypothetical men, though, so chances are good that your off the rack suit won’t fit as well as it could. When you buy a suit, you should expect to need alterations.
{The Alterations You’ll Need} Choose your suit according to the fit in the shoulders. The shoulder seam should be at the edge of your shoulder, and you should be able to button the jacket comfortably. “Comfortably” means not only that the buttons meet the buttonholes, but also that you can move your arms easily with the buttons closed. If these two things are right, then the suit fits. It’s much easier to make a sleeve shorter than to make it longer, so ready to wear suits are made with sleeves that are too long for most guys. Your sleeve should reach the ulna, that little bone that sticks out a bit at the edge of the wrist. A sliver of the shirt cuff should show when your arms are relaxed at your sides. If the jacket’s sleeves are longer than that, have them shortened. Since you buy your suit according to the fit of the jacket, there’s a good chance that you’ll need to have the pants tailored to fit at the waist. American cut suits usually have a larger waist size than European cut suits, so you may be able to find a better fit by choosing between the two. If you really need a completely different size in pants and jackets, some stores will sell the pieces as separates, or you might go with a sport coat and pants instead of a suit. However, tailoring the waist of the pants isn’t a major alteration, so plan on having the tailor do that when you have the pants hemmed.
Suit pants normally aren’t hemmed when you buy them, and they’re made long enough so that you can have cuffs. Cuffs are a classic look and can be very nice on a tall guy, though they can make a short guy look shorter. With cuffs or without, you can choose between a full break, where you pants hit the top of the heel of your shoe, or a half break, which is a couple of inches shorter. The “break” refers to the way that your trousers hit the top of your foot and break, or fold slightly. It’s a matter of taste, but generally a full break is recommended for wider pants and for guys who don’t want to show their socks. “Waist suppression” is the technical term for bringing the waist of a jacket in to make it narrower than the jacket is immediately under the arms. Some guys look better in a boxy jacket and some look better with the waist nipped in a little. If your jacket fits well at the shoulders and seems way too loose at the waist, a tailor can use waist suppression to improve the fit. The changes your tailor makes to your suit may seem like small things, but the difference in the way you look and feel can be considerable. Once you’ve discovered what it does for your self confidence to wear a really well fitting suit, think about having your favorite jeans tailored to perfection, too. u
No.63
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
Maintenance {Style}
Assembling a great wardrobe can take a lot of thought, time, and money. It makes sense to take good care of it.
{Correct Methods of Clothing Maintenance} First, get your closet in order. Replace those wire hangers from the cleaners with wooden or padded hangers that will support the shape of your clothes. Clean off the floor so your clothes can hang freely, and reduce the amount of clothing in the closet if your gear is stuffed in with no room to breathe. Get a tie rack if you wear ties. Now, when you take off your suit at the end of the day, hang it outside the closet (the back of the bathroom door is good, since steam from your shower can release wrinkles and perk up the fibers) and brush it with a clothes brush to remove any crumbs or stray hairs. If there are lots of wrinkles, take a steamer to it. Doing this regularly will keep you from having to take jackets to the cleaners as often. Check your clothes whenever you undress to see if they have any stains, spots, or buttons hanging by a thread. If they’re not ready to wear, don’t put them away. Hang them near the door so you’ll remember to take them to the cleaners, or wash and mend them yourself. Washing clothes isn’t complicated, but you do need to be familiar with your fibers. Wool becomes matted and shrunken if it meets water, agitation, and heat, which is a pretty good description of your washer and dryer. Wool sweaters should always be washed by hand and left flat to dry. Cotton, on the other hand, won’t usually shrink in the washer, but will shrink from the heat of the dryer. Some cottons, including denim, shrink up, but not in. Corduroy pants should be turned inside out before washing, and should be removed from the dryer while they’re still damp and hung to finish drying. Just check the care label before you throw anything in the washer or dryer.
Mending’s not that hard if you catch it before there’s much damage. If an inch or two of seam has come undone, you can use a needle and thread to replace the stitches. Just put the needle in where there’s a hole from the original stitching, and pull it out where the next hole is. Sewing on a button that has come off is just as easy. Put the replacement button where the original button was, and sew up from the inside of the fabric and through the button. Check how the other buttons are sewn on – straight across in one or two vertical or horizontal rows, probably, through the holes of the button – and match them. Once you have a couple of strands of thread, put a straight pin through the threads between the button and the fabric. This will keep the button loose enough that it won’t come off again easily. Storing out of season clothes in a dark, dry place keeps them at their best for next year. Have them cleaned or laundered before you put them away, or stains that you can’t even see right now will set and show up after a few months, at which point they’ll be impossible to remove. Cleaning clothes before storing them also helps you avoid moths. Hanging clothes should be hung in a breathable fabric garment bag. Fold wool sweaters away in a cedar chest (smells better than mothballs) or in a drawer with cedar blocks. If space is an issue, think about under-bed storage boxes. The garage isn’t the best place to store clothes, because the heat and the possibility of insects may shorten the life of your clothes. However, if the garage is the only place available, be sure to label the boxes so you can find them again easily when it’s time to unpack. u
No.64
Today’s MAN Little Black Book 2011
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