A Pot-Pourri of Email Openers

A Pot-Pourri of Email Openers

Gunjan Nanda

'How to kill Isolation boredom' 'Sick of the inside of your house?' 'New skills for a new reality' 'New Normal: Picnic at home'

I wake up to the buzzing of a new email alert every morning 'Feeling Stressed? Schedule self care with these 5 easy steps' Hmph. Stressed while at home? I think this is the best paid vacation I would have ever asked for

'Stay safe, Play from Home and win unlimited real cash daily' Hah! If I had a nickel for every email I've ever received like this one But wait, did you see what they just did? They're taking advantage of this golden opportunity of being home You're home, away from friends, maybe away from family, too much time on your hands, maybe too little because you're overburdened with WORK FROM HOME But for those lucky few, 'earning real cash' might just be it, a saviour in a physically distanced world

'Check out our exclusive selection of Face time ready shirts' (Because who wears pants anymore?) I think of the realm we live in, and the realm we need Much like the broken clock in 'Alice in Wonderland', perpetually stuck at six Are we stuck?

'Stretch marks? Cellulite? Veins? XYZ waterproof body makeup has you covered' Pretty sure I'll need this after eating tons of cheese-laden deep dishes and coffee cakes (Add to cart)

'Travel with your taste buds’ Interesting! Always thought travelling was an actual verb. Although my palate does like the idea of being guided Thai for dinner? Naan and Paneer for lunch? Count me in, Virtual Chef!

'Why Physical Distancing might last for some time' Now this one got me thinking

See, here's the thing about distancing yourself from the world, you should do it anyway Do it in a way which isn't obnoxious or nasty Do it in a way that saves lives (politely) Behaviour is the one thing we, as humans, have very little control over Everyone is stressed out, fearful and anxious for their own health, we need to be sensitive and sensible Try not to be the town watchman

MOVE BACK, someone says Didn’t you just come back from one of your international travels, another one says '6 feet apart' was never this consuming ...

(Another email buzz)

Together at home: We may be apart right now, but in some ways we're more together than ever’