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It is hard to believe how quickly 2013 is moving along. There are so many events to attend, projects to complete, and progress to be made. It is beyond my comprehension when I hear people say that they are bored.
name just a few. I am a firm believer that we do not need to be directly affected by a malady or injustice in order to empathize and do something to address the problem. For instance, my mom, sister or I do not have to have breast cancer in order for me to Now that Marriage Equality is the law of the participate in a fundraiser for this sinister land (Washington land, that is), same-sex affliction. There are many ways to contribute: couples are taking advantage of this newly help plan the event, contribute money, attained right. We are also seeing the benefit provide goods or services, volunteer, or be a to local businesses that cater to those seeking participant. We all have the ability to do one wedding-related products and services. This or more of these things. Imagine what we advance in civil rights has been a long time in could accomplish if each of us gave of coming. We went through a hard fought ourselves in these ways. battle...and we won! But, now is not the time to sit back on our laurels and be satisfied with I would be remiss if I didn’t express my what has been accomplished. There are other gratitude for the writers that have once again states in our union that are stuck in the pre- contributed their time, energy, and experience November 2012 era of marriage inequality. to provide the Out and Proud Community While the Supreme Court will be deciding the with this second issue of Proud Times. fate of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) Furthermore, our Managing Editor Kurt and California’s Proposition 8, we should Schmierer has gone above and beyond understand that equal rights for all is far from expectations. He has set up interviews and reality. We need to ask ourselves, “how can recruited new authors and advertisers. I thank we help and support others to attain each of these individuals for making me equality?” We cannot let “those other people” PROUD! take responsibility and bear the brunt of the workload. It behooves us to join forces and Together, we can make our world a better continue the momentum. place. This is just one issue that requires our attention and action. In addition to matters specific to the Out and Proud Community, there are many other causes that require our involvement. We can join movements to eradicate homelessness, hunger, hate crime, bullying, suicide and domestic violence--to
Dean Ellerbusch Proud Times Executive Editor
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NEW to Proud Times Loss and Life
Shane Bitney Crone Interview by April Rose Schneider
Ask Amazon
Have a problem? Amazon can help
!
by Miss Amazon Rivers
Creating the Life You Want Jason and deMarco Interview by J'son M. Lee
Livin' in the 509
Ongoing Fictional Series by Jerry Rabushka
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Captain's Log
by Dean Ellerbusch
Learn About the Columnists 14 Loss and Life 6
Shane Bitney Crone Interview by April Rose Schnieder
24
Ask Amazon
Advice Column
52
Resources
by Terra Price
Special thanks to Geoff Scanlan of GLS Photography for this issue's cover and page 5 image.
Jason and deMarco Interview
Livin' in the 509
Geoff’s photography can be viewed at: https://www.facebook.com/GLSPhotography.design
Creating the Life You Want by J'son M. Lee
30
Teaching Gender Acceptance
If you have enjoyed the first two cover photos of Proud Times, you can thank photographer Geoff Scanlan of GLS Photography. We are truly fortunate and honored to be able to share this passionate artist’s talent.
Miss Amazon Rivers
26
52
Ongoing Fictional Series
34
Comedy Corner
Prints of most of these photos are available for purchase. Greeting cards and other items may also be ordered.
36
Relationships: LTR
Please feel free to contact Geoff with questions or comments: glscanlan@gmail.com
37
Spearmint for Hair Reduction
40
Conflict and Communication: Changing One Little Thing
by Jerry Rabushka
with Debbi Sullivan by Al Lozano
by Cynthia Bussell
by Memphis Rainne
42
Spokane's Bridal Festival
43
The Effects of Negative Thinking
48
How to Choose a Proper Dog
50
by Ricki Zipkin
by Sidney Andrews by Andrew T.
A Different Kind of LOVE by J'son M. Lee
“I’m inspired how we are able to look at the same places and objects, yet all see different things. Our individuality is defined by our own perceptions. ” ~ GeoffScanlan
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EXECUTIVE EDITOR DEAN ELLERBUSCH
MANAGING EDITOR KURT LEROY SCHMEIRER
Having lived most of his life in Southern California, Dean brings a fresh perspective to Spokane. One of the first things he sought out was a local "Gay Rag." There was none to be found. Because of this, it's been difficult to know what's happening in the local Gay Community.
Kurt has been painting off and on for 30 years. While in high school, Kurt catered to the tourists in Alaska by painting local scenery on gold pans for keepsakes of their visit to Alaska. After graduation Kurt moved to California and fell in love with photography, working in various labs and with well-known local photographers of the San Francisco bay area.
In the past couple of years, Dean has had some success connecting with members of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender sub-communities. He feels there's a need for additional ways for this Kurt stayed in the photography field when he moved Community to communicate. This is why Proud back to Alaska where he used his artistic talents to Times is so important to him. Communication is key. explore the world of graphic design for sign companies, print shops, and later his own business as a graphic designer.
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COLUMNIST SIDNEY ANDREWS
COLUMNIST MEMPHIS RAINNE
Memphis obtained a Bachelor of Liberal Studies in Humanities at Whitworth University (2010) and is currently finishing an M.A. in Communications and Leadership at the prestigious Gonzaga University in Spokane, WA. Her focus has included diverse interests in human services of the poor and indigent, civil rights and communications.
Sidney Andrews is a retired nurse, author and encouragement speaker who happens to be gay. She has a BS degree in psychology from Worcester State College, has three grown children, and lives in Port St. Lucie, Florida, with Kate, her partner of almost forty years. For more about Sidney, her life, and publications, go to http://sidney-andrews.com.
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Memphis was born and raised in the beautiful Northwest and enjoys spending time with her children in the outdoors, camping and fishing. She is also a published, amateur photographer and published author of poetry in many anthologies. Her ties to the LGBT community have resulted in many published newspaper articles in the “Sasquatch Times� along with belonging to several national advocacy groups for social justice.
COLUMNIST APRIL ROSE SCHNEIDER
COLUMNIST RICKI ZIPKIN
Despite the vicious onslaught of merciless fate over the course of five decades, April Rose Schneider has persisted and persevered as a member of the third gender. A survivor of sex reassignment in Bangkok in 2001, she spends time in Arizona thinking, writing and philosophizing. Shortly after graduation in 1969, Ms. Schneider left Ohio and headed out for parts unknown eventually residing in Tennessee, Florida and California be-lingering as a fast-food worker, truck driver, night club manager, massage therapist and radio announcer.
Ricki originally hails from Southern California. She moved to the Pacific Northwest in 1989 and now resides in Spokane. As a mother of 5, Ricki had a part-time job as a wedding coordinator for a small church in Kent, Washington. She booked the weddings, ran the sound system, helped with photography, did the wedding rehearsals, and trained the guest ministers. In 1991, a same-sex couple walked into the church and asked Ricki for help planning their wedding. She spent 3 weeks trying to Currently, Ms. Schneider lives in New Mexico where find a minister to agree to marry the couple. When no she writes and grows and sells healing herbs to those one came forward, Ricki became an ordained in need. One of the most passionate and prolific minister. She has performed close to 300 wedding unknown writers of her kind, she spends her time ceremonies for both heterosexual and same-sex roaming the foothills of the Sangre de Cristo couples. She is hoping to bring her experience and Mountains with her two dogs and spouse of thirtylove of weddings to couples living in the Spokane two years. area. We are extremely PROUD ofApril Rose Schneider! She went above and beyond to provide this excellent interview with Shane Bitney Crone. The amount of time and effort she invested in this piece is truly appreciated. Thank you April.
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COLUMNIST CYNDI BUSSELL
COLUMNIST AL LOZANO
Al was born, raised and attended school in Central Washington State and has enjoyed a rewarding career in video broadcasting all over the world for over 30 years (which also put him on-site during the lifealtering aftermath on September 11, 2001). Al is involved in Spokane community social networks, participates and is planning community fundraisers for the LGBT community and local businesses through his community Bears Group and is also a prolific writer. Cyndi Bussell is a longtime writer, farmer and social media junkie. She lives in the forest with her hersband Sevan, two dogs, two cats and a flock of chickens. She is very active with Spokane Trans* People support and social group and also writes at http://candiussellcorner. blogspot. com
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Soon to celebrate his 23rd anniversary with his partner Rich, Al enjoys riding his mountain bike, walking, hiking and cooking from scratch as a major form of relaxation. In his spare time, he also enjoys discovering new areas around the beautiful Northwest.
COLUMNIST ANDREW T.
Andrew was born and raised in Spokane Valley and lives here to this day. He has always been good with animals and has always tried to have a pet. Growing up, he always had pet cats; but, their main purpose was to keep mice from getting into the house. He spent many a summer day out on the back side of Playfair (the old closed down horse track) and spent his time working with horses. In his youth, he didn’t have his own horses, but his friends and family did; he was never without a steed to take on a trail ride or show at a 4-H competition. In 1999 he became the superintendent at the Spokane Interstate Fair’s OMok-See Department, overseeing this speed and agility based horse riding event. Over his 14 years of being in charge of that department, he added 25 events to the Spokane Interstate Fair Horse Department.
COLUMNIST J'SON M. LEE
J’son M. Lee, though born in Brooklyn, NY, is essentially a North Carolinian. He graduated from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, earning a degree in Speech Communication with a concentration in Performance Studies. Lee is the Owner and President of Sweet Georgia Press, a small publishing and editing firm located in Baltimore, MD. He is the author of Just Tryin’ To Be Loved, the “Friends or Lovers” short story series (“Best Friends”, “More Than Friends”, and “Can’t Be Friends”), “love One” (short story) and “One Family's AIDS” (short story). Lee also co-authored the multiple award-winning book, How could my husband be GAY? , with Ondrea L. Davis. For more information about the author, please visit his website at http://www.jmccoylee.com/ or http://www.sweetgeorgiapress.com/. We greatly appreciate both ofthe submissions J'son M. Lee has provided for this issue. In addition to his article "A Different Kind ofLOVE", his interview with singing duo Jason and deMarco is ofthe highest quality. Thank you J'son.
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ADVICE COLUMNIST MISS AMAZON RIVERS
JERRY RABUSHKA FICTIONAL SERIES AUTHOR
Miss Amazon is a proud member of the Spokane GLBTQAI community. She is a small business owner and a graduate of Gonzaga (BA –Public Administration), Gonzaga Law, UC-Davis (BS viticulture/enology) and Cornell University (MA – Hotel Management). She had served on many boards such as the ISCS Board of Directors, Leadership Spokane, INBA, Gay City, and the Seattle Gay Clinic (Board Chair 1990 – 2000). She looks forward to sharing her insight with the loyal readers of Proud Times. In addition to being over educated and underpaid she has made every mistake possible and recovered…most had first and last names...suffice to say, she substituted mencandy for self-esteem in her 20’s...and 30’s. She is a straight shooter (while only accused once and he was asking for it!) who will tell you where the bears shit in the woods and how to catch one of those sexy hairy beasts! Expect good advice mixed in with a fair amount of humor…and remember...Miss Amazon loves YOU and all you do! Send your questions to amazon@missamazon.com
Jerry Rabushka is a playwright, novelist, composer and musician. He has published many plays which are produced by schools and community theaters. For a long time he produced original plays in St. Louis, many of them "gay-themed"; plus, he provided a stage for touring LGBT artists. He has won several writing awards; recently he won a contest sponsored by "Saints and Sinners", an LGBT writing festival in New Orleans. He's written songs in all styles for his band and also has been part of a ragtime revival-bringing back a lot of rare tunes from that era in new arrangements. He is very excited about the opportunity to write for Proud Times. You can find his novel Star Bryan at http://www.rebelsatoripress.com/star-bryan-jerryrabushka/ Hear his band, The Ragged Blade Band, at reverbnation.com/theraggedbladeband Find a lot of his plays online at brookpub.com and hitplays.com
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was a lot of time spent trying to make sense of everything--trying to do whatever I could to not go Shane Bitney Crone is a passionate LGBT activist. into a dark place. But, after I posted the YouTube Shane's path to activism, according to him, began video, things really started to get better for me. Then, with the untimely accidental death of his partner I felt for the first time after Tom passed away that Tom. As Shane went through the grieving process, he something good might come from it. After posting learned painful lessons about hate and bigotry, and that video, I heard from thousands of people from all the importance of legal safeguards in LGBT over the world who encouraged and supported me-relationships. On his path to recovery, Shane and that has really helped me be happier than I was transformed his pain of loss and victimization into before that. Now, I'm in a much better place. Of incredible activism. Find out about Shane's course, some days are still pretty hard. But overall, transformation in the following interview with Proud I'm grateful and in a much better place. Times writer April Rose Schneider. You were raised in Montana? By April Rose Schneider
Hi Shane--and thanks for taking some time out of your day to talk with me and Proud Times magazine. You've been busy lately. It's been over a year and a half since your partner Tom fell to his death while taking photographs from the fourth floor of a building. Is that correct? Yes, it was one of our best friend's apartment building. We had been there many times. We here at Proud Times extend our deep condolences to you and your family. How are you holding up? Thank you for that. The year following the accident was by far the most difficult period of my life. There
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Yes, I was born and raised in Kalispell, Montana--in Northwest Montana--right next to a beautiful national park. I believe I was the fifth generation to live there. And do you still live there? No, after I graduated from high school, I moved to Los Angeles around 2004. Did you come out in Montana? No, I knew when I was very young that I was different somehow. I didn't know that I was gay. I didn't even know what gay was--and it was hard growing up there because I felt like people did not understand me. I was just kind of confused. The only
memory I have about being gay was the movie Philadelphia. That's the first time I was exposed to a movie about a gay couple. So growing up I lived with the idea that I would end up like Tom Hanks’ character and get sick, and eventually die because I knew that I was like him. I spent many years with anxiety and panic attacks because I was sure I was going to die ofAIDS. So, it was a pretty traumatic childhood in that sense. But, for most of my life I knew one thing and that was I had to get out of Montana--and I knew that California was a place where people could go and be free to be who they were--and it helped me a lot throughout my childhood knowing there was a place I could go.
So Montana wasn't like BrokeBack Mountain ? No. But, when I saw that movie in L.A., it hit close to home--and what's amazing now is how things have changed with television series like Glee and Modern Family and with gay characters on so many shows-that I 'm so happy about that--because kids are so influenced by movies and TV--and I think it helps them know that there really are characters on TV that are like them--and that they are okay. Could you talk about when and where you came out and how your parents reacted to the news? I always thought that there was no reason to come out
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until I found the person I was going to spend my life with--and when I met Tom--and I knew he was the one--I felt like it was time. So, I told my mom during one of her visits--and she had always known--but, she didn't want to believe it. But, she was very supportive and, once I told my mom, it seemed like everyone in the family knew--even though I had asked her not to say anything. But, I was glad it was finally out there and that I didn't have to come out individually to the rest of my family members--and eventually, they all reached out to me to let me know they loved and supported me. Do your parents still live in Montana? Are your parents religious and do they attend church?
make me nervous about how they would react, because it is not accepted there. I didn't know anyone who was gay. I had a feeling that my mom might accept me, but it was my dad's reaction that I feared-and I just felt so lucky that he did support me. Can you describe their experience in the community--and in their church? In general, were they supported after you came out? Even though my family knew, in general it wasn't talked about. It was only after some of the stories about me came out that people started to talk about it.
Where and what year did you graduate from high school--and what kind of plans did you have for Yes, my entire family lives there, except for my sister your life after graduation? who lives in Texas. But overall, my family is very very conservative and very religious. My parents are I went to Flathead High School. For most of my life I no longer together. They were divorced--ironically, knew I wanted to go to California--and managed to on the day I was born. But, considering our convince myself that I wanted to be an actor--partly surroundings and where we lived in Montana, it did because I needed a reason to move. So, after I
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blamed me for turning him gay--and then she thought California had turned him gay. Then his mom called his dad at work--who then rushed home and eventually pulled a gun on Tom--and I heard about all What sort of things did you do there to earn a this while I was in Montana--and just felt so helplessliving? -and after that, Tom left Indiana and didn't go back When I was still in Montana, I attended International for a long time. It was really hard on him. He was such a positive person. It was really just shocking, Performing Arts Camp, where I met a girl who because he was such an ideal son--at the top of his became a really good friend. She had an uncle who class. He went to a great university. He was the lived in Los Angeles. So, I reached out to him and captain of his swimming team. He played many when I got there, he introduced me to one of his instruments. He sang. He spoke different languages. friends who worked for the show Entertainment All these things that, up until a certain point, made Tonight and The Insider. So, I was very fortunate to his parents so proud of him that they would brag get a job working on those shows as soon as I got about him--and, all of the sudden--once he told themthere around the end of 2004. -it was as if all of those accomplishments meant Was that where you met Tom? How did you meet? nothing--and that was really hard on him. Was Tom out? Was it an instant attraction? Can you describe what life was like for you and Tom as a couple? Yes. A friend that I had while I was working in television was going bowling--and there was a guy He was the first guy I dated. He was my first she wanted me to meet--and I wasn't even out then, so it was just like this person she wanted me to meet everything. We met at a time in our lives when we for networking--and that's where I met Tom--and he were just discovering who we were--when we were coming into our own. We met at that crucial time of was one of the most outgoing people that I'd met-and I was definitely drawn to him, although he didn't self discovery and I'm just glad we had each other realize what was going on either. It was like we had then. I had moved to California to be an actor. But it these mutual friends who were setting us up despite was clear, after a very short time, that I did not want to be an actor. So, I stopped taking acting classes, and the fact that neither Tom or I was out. But, it was stopped pursuing that. The one thing Tom and I both shortly after that, when we were all hanging out again, that we exchanged phone numbers and started had was a passion for music--and he was the one in the limelight--doing commercials--writing music. hanging out more--and we fell in love. That's what he was doing to make a living. Together, we started to promote singers and artists on social Talk about Tom coming out to his family. When media like YouTube and MySpace--and we built a did you meet them and what was it like? business together as social media consultants. It became pretty successful and exciting. We loved the Yes--well, eventually we both became more comfortable with our relationship. My mom came out idea of getting new music out there. for a visit and I came out to her--and she was supportive. After that, I encouraged Tom to come out Could you talk about the day Tom died in May 2011? to his family--and his mom in particular--because I It was a day of weird events--almost like out of a thought that since my mom was so supportive, that horror story. For example, for the first time ever, he his mom probably would be too. I had met Tom's accidentally took both of our car keys. So, I was mom before. Of course, when she came out for a stranded here when I got the message from our friend visit, we were just “roommates.� So, we both went who was with him that he had fallen. If I had my car home separately for Christmas--and that's when he came out to his mom--and she was furious. First, she keys, I would have been able to get to my friend's in graduated, I worked all summer, packed up my car and drove to L.A.
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time. But in reality, it was kind of a blessing, as it would have been traumatizing to be there at the scene. It was just all very surreal. We had been up there many times and I had just been texting with Tom just fifteen minutes before he fell. I am the cautious one--always taking precautions to make sure nothing bad happens. So, I made him promise me that he would stay away from the edge--and he promised me he would. So, when I was told he had fallen, I thought it was a joke. But then, I realized that it wasn't a joke--because he didn't answer his phone. When I found out that he was in the emergency room, I went there. But, they wouldn't tell me anything because we weren't family. Legally, we weren't-though marriage was something we dreamed about. During that time, it was legal in California. We thought gay marriage would continue to stay legal. Had we known it would not stay legal, we probably would have gotten married at the time.
our home--which Tom and I had paid for together. My family stayed at a motel. We waited for the coroner to release his body, because he needed to perform an autopsy--given the circumstances of the accident. So, Tom's mom asked me to take her to a hotel, where she promised she would keep me updated and let me know when they were going to release his body. But instead, she just left and I haven't heard from her since. And, as you tried to come to terms with Tom's death, you must have been devastated at the moment that you were refused admittance to the emergency room? Was this your AHA! moment-when you realized that love did not qualify you as family? When I was at the E.R., I had a friend come and stay there with me--and he was fighting with the nurses just to get them to let me see Tom's body--and eventually, I was able to go to the room where he was and be with him. But, in my mind, I didn't think that was going to be my last goodbye--and, as I mentioned in the YouTube video, when I went back to get some answers, they wouldn't tell me what they did to try to save him or whether he ever regained consciousness. They wouldn't tell me anything--and, had I known that I would never find out the answers, I probably would have tried harder to find out right then. Tom's mother was clearly homophobic. Yet, she didn't mind taking advantage of your kindness. She stayed at your home and she asked you to help with the funeral expenses? Yet, you were threatened with violence shortly after taking his mom to the airport? Could you talk about how that felt?
She had come to visit us a couple of times since Tom had come out--and she had never apologized for the Eventually, the doctor came in and told us that Tom violence that had happened when Tom had gone didn't make it--and I couldn't really process it. I had home. But we had hoped that, when she came, it was just seen him that morning and it just didn't seem her way of accepting us. She had been here in real--and then his mom came into town the next day-- California about a month before he passed away--and which was Mother's Day. I thought she would come it was that trip when I really thought she had begun to with her husband. But, she came alone. She stayed at accept us. But, when she came out to L.A.--only
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twenty-four hours after Tom died--she was already asking about bank accounts--suggesting that I was the one who should pay to have Tom's body shipped back to Indiana and pay for the funeral--and I just couldn't process it. I couldn't think about it, as my mind was blank. If she wanted to, she probably could have taken everything. After all, she was his mom--and I thought, “okay, if this is what she needs.� So then, she took his body back to Indiana and didn't really tell me anything. It was only when my mom and my friend who was with Tom when he died, were at the airport in Phoenix, that I received a phone call from one ofTom's relatives, letting me know that I wasn't welcome at his funeral--and that if I did show up-that his father and his uncle had planned an attack on me--and described how they would hurt me if I showed up. Knowing that Tom's father had pulled a gun on him, it was just too much of a risk for me and
my mom. I just couldn't afford to take that chance and put us in a situation where we might be killed. Grief makes people do things you just can't imagine. Eventually we did go back to Indiana, with the help of some ofTom's friends--and stayed at a secret location--and on the day ofTom's funeral, I was at the Chicago airport--and at least I was only a couple of hours away from him while it was happening. So, first the love of your life dies accidentally--and things just spiraled downward after that. Could you talk about this low point in your life and then what happened to bring you out of the darkness? What helped me during those first few months was putting together the memorial in Los Angeles, where Tom could truly be celebrated for who he was. Going through the photographs and videos of us was tough. It gave me something to focus on. We had friends
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from college and from high school who came--and it was really a beautiful service--and I felt so fortunate to be surrounded by people and friends who did accept us and acknowledge our relationship. But, just a month after that, I was scared. Tom's mom told me she was going to come back and go through the rest of his stuff. But, would she come unannounced-alone? Would she blame me? I just didn't know what was going to happen.
reached a point where I was getting sick of letting other people control me--and letting the fear determine all the choices I was making in my life-and being controlled by people. It went back to my time in high school when I was bullied and letting people treat me that way--and finally, I just got tired of living in fear. I had just had it--and thought it was time to speak up for myself--and it was really therapeutic for me.
Tom's mom had made a comment while she was here--that she didn't understand why there was going to be an L.A. memorial. She thought only one service should take place. But, this is where his life and friends were--not Indiana. Tom went to a boarding school in high school and then straight to college. He hadn't lived at home in Indiana for a long time.
I wanted to do something with what had happened to me. So I thought, “why did this happen and what can I do with this--rather than sit here and feel sorry for myself?” Then I thought, “the least I could do was to inform people and help them prepare for the unexpected.” We just don't know what can happen, but we don't think it can happen to us--but it can and it does--and I wanted to show people that Tom and I-although we were two men and were a couple--we still loved each other.
For the months following Tom's death, you benefited from widespread support from the LGBT Community.
But once I made that video and posted it, I never The month after he died, I was still in shock and it thought it would resonate with people the way it did. didn't feel real. I didn't go to his funeral. I didn't go to It was unbelievable that within a few days, it was the burial--all those things that people need to gain seen by a million people. It was incredible and, in a acceptance--I didn't have that--and some days I way, I felt like I was keeping Tom alive. You know, would wake up and think, maybe this hadn't once you lose someone, other people can just get on happened--because I didn't get to experience any of with their lives. But for me, it felt like life had just it. stopped. So I put the video out there and, all of the sudden, lots of people were finding out who Tom And since November, you have been a busy guy. was--and the results were amazing. There were all Talk about how this idea for the initial YouTube these conservative straight men that never supported called “It could happen to you” developed?--and the idea of an LGBT relationship, who were reaching then there was "No freedom until we are all out to me saying they finally “got it.” They saw why equal”--and then "What would Jesus say..." video. equality was important. I never thought that would happen. I was approaching the anniversary of his passing--and Tom and I had been filming everything together. You And about that--“...what Jesus said about know, my generation tends to film everything--maybe homosexuality”--was that dark humor? some things that shouldn't be filmed. So, for me, the year after he passed away, I tried to do what was I posted that video because I often get comment from recommended--like talking out loud or looking up people who genuinely mean well--and want to save toward the sky and talking to him. But, it just felt odd me--and want me to know that Jesus did not support to me and the thing that felt most comforting was same-sex relationships. So, I did some research to doing a video diary. At first, it seemed a little odd. find out what Jesus really said--and as far as I could But, once I got used to it, it felt so therapeutic--and tell, there was nothing in the Bible regarding what so, as the anniversary of his death approached, I Jesus said about homosexuality. I never want to tell
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people how they should feel. But, I do want them to know that it hurts when we don't have equal rights-and it hurts when people judge our community--and when they say we aren't able to love the same way they do.
I was approached by Ricki Lake's producers, who were doing an episode about coming out. Apparently Ricki had been so touched by the YouTube video, that she wanted to give me the platform to share it with a wider audience. Honestly, she was one of the most kind-hearted, genuine people that I've ever met. You never know how television personalities really are, but Ricki was just incredible--and since I've been on her show, I've heard from so many people. It was just a wonderful opportunity--and I'm very grateful to her for an opportunity like that. It sounds like you felt pretty comfortable in front of a camera?
What's weird is, when I did an interview with CNN and there was a camera under the table, you would have seen my legs shake like never before. But with Ricki, I wasn't nervous. Right before I went out for that interview I said to myself, “okay Tom, I need some of your courage right now.” So, I went out there and it was okay--and I think a lot of it had to do with how genuine Ricki was--and she made it easy to just relax and talk. From what I've heard, she has always Some people say that we shove our gayness in their been a huge supporter of our community--and we faces--and I don't agree with that. I am not trying to need people outside the community to support us, shove anything in anyone's face. I'm trying to respect because we can't do this alone. So, when people like everyone's views, yet show the humanity that exists her stand up to support us, it's really quite a gift. in our community. It's easy for people to hate the idea of same-sex couples. But, when they come face-toCould you talk about your “Love is Louder” face with us, it makes it harder for them to be against project? it. That's why I think it is so important for people to share their stories--because it brings it home to those My birthday was coming up--and I was just trying to people who don't understand. do what ever I can to be involved with organizations and groups who are bringing awareness to these And you've received awards like “Spirit Day issues. For my birthday, I wanted to do a fundraising Ambassador” and “Leading Man of 2012”--and campaign for an organization called “Love is recently you were on Ricki Lake's talk show. Louder,” which was started by a friend of mine, What was it like talking to a nationwide audience Brittany Snow. It was an anti-bullying campaign to about your life? educate schools--and they send out information packages to give teachers the tools to educate and Prior to Ricki Lake, I had done a bunch of interviews help kids who are being bullied. I'm not a celebrity on CNN and ABC and a bunch of different media and I don't have a lot of money. But I thought that, by outlets. I don't really enjoy being in a media making this video (“Love is Louder”), that I could spotlight; it makes me nervous and uncomfortable. raise a thousand dollars in a month. But, a thousand But, I know this is what I have to do right now--that I dollars was raised in a little over eight hours--and I had to find the courage to speak up and tell our story. think it's amazing.
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Linda reached out to me, because she wanted to tell our story and make a film about it. I was actually approached by a handful of companies and people who wanted to make a movie, which was shocking to me. So, after meeting with a bunch of people--and then Linda again--it became clear to me that Linda was the one to tell the story. Her mom has passed away from an AIDS-tainted transfusion. So, she had When it was legal for a short time to get married in experienced first hand of what a lot of gay men who California, Tom and I went to a friend's same-sex died ofAIDS went through. Linda is very passionate wedding in Palm Springs, California. We ended up human rights issues and equality. She wasn't sitting at a table with Linda Bloodworth-Thomason about just some Hollywood director who wanted to make a and her husband Harry--and we had a great We met and decided that there were so many conversation--and we told them that we wanted to get movie. people who wanted to help spread the message, that married, but we weren't ready at that moment. Fast we wanted to do something in which everyone could forward to several months after Tom's death, I involved. So, we decided to use KickStarter.com received a call from Linda. She and her husband had be raise the money to make the film--and the response done a bunch of television shows in the eighties and to was unbelievable--that thousands of people donated nineties and a documentary for the Clintons--and and that there was support from celebrities like And it looks like you scored big on the website KickStarter.com--with the highest level of funding ever achieved out of over 7400 films for a forthcoming documentary called Bridegroom ? Could you talk about that--and start by telling us who is Linda Bloodworth-Thomason?
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George Takei and Neil Patrick Harris and Fran Drescher--all these celebs who had seen the YouTube video and wanted to help this film get made--and yes, it became the most funded project in Kickstarter's history--and the past several months have just been unreal. I continue to be blown away by the love and support from strangers. The one thing that has become clear to me is that my story may not be that unique (compared to a lot of gay men), but so many men who have experienced a loss--and experienced the hate from their partner's family after the funeral-or not knowing where their partner is buried. They've reached out to me. And kids and teenagers have reached out to me to stand up for them and to speak for them. Even though I'm scared and quite a bit out of my comfort zone, I'm trying to make the most of this and push myself by thinking of those people. It keeps me going and gives me the strength to speak up--because it is scary putting yourself out there. But, I have to. People are counting on me and I don't want to let them down.
If you had the chance to send a message to the LGBT community, what would that message be? Try to do whatever you can not to live in fear. Try to do what you can in order to love yourself, because that is the one thing I struggled with my whole life-because Tom really loved himself and so he was able to love me as much as he did--and I'm so grateful for that. Probably, the most important thing I could say to people is to speak up. Because, if you think your voice won't make a difference, I'm telling you that it can and it will. I hope people can see that I'm just an average person who decided to share my experience-and look what happened. It doesn't matter who you are--it's never too late to speak up and stand up for yourself and join this movement. If we are to change things, we have to stand together and speak out. And finally, did you want to talk for a moment about estate planning?
Definitely, because there are some states that offer protections for same-sex unions. But, most don't--and until it is legal, I plead with people to have those awkward conversations with the people they love. Plan as much as you can for the unexpected, because it will prevent a lot of heartbreak for your family. That was the one thing for me with Tom--I just think Thank you. I really do appreciate that. The idea of that if his family had thought about what he wanted, doing a speaking tour is another thing that really instead of what they wanted, that so many things scares me. But I think, if the opportunity presents would have been different. But, they weren't thinking itself or if someone else knew how to do that, I am about what Tom wanted--and we didn't have it definitely open to it. It might be good for me as a anywhere. So, his family just did what person to do that, because my New Year's resolution documented wanted to do--and I don't want that to happen to is to continue to challenge myself. I think the more I they challenge myself to speak out--I think the more likely anyone else. that teenagers will see that they can do this too. I Proud Times thanks you for your time Shane. don't know what will happen, but I think that the documentary right now is my main focus. We've been in the edit room seven days a week and it's ninetyfive percent done--and I'm really hoping that this film has the same impact as the YouTube video on a much larger scale. I was really hoping that Tom's family would be a part of it, but we reached out to them and they never responded. I just hope that the film reaches some film festivals, so that it reaches a larger audience. I know I am not the first person to say that you have become kind of a symbol for our LGBT community. How does this change offortune feel-and what are you plans for the future? Have you thought about a speaking tour?
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...behold! Miss Amazon: You are so lovely! How do you keep so beautiful??? Please share your secrets! PYT in Veradale
2 oz Sweet Almond Oil 2 oz Grapeseed Oil Drizzle ofVitamin E Oil Mix all ingredients in a measuring cup or bowl. Sugar can be substituted for Medium Sea Salt if you want a finer scrub instead of a soak. Add to your favorite container. Recipe makes 20 ounces.
Well Pudding, I agree. I have held together fairly well Stay beautiful PYT and remember...Miss Amazon over the years, but it is because I make my own soaks loves YOU! and scrubs to care for my skin. My favorite is a Warm In a pickle, help Amazon! Vanilla Sugar Bath Salt Scrub. You can make it yourself...here's the recipe: WARM VANILLA SUGAR FOAMING BATH SALT SCRUB Ingredients: 20 oz Bail & Wire jar 1 oz Warm Vanilla Sugar Fragrance Oil 8 oz Fine Sea Salt 6 oz Medium Sea Salt 2 oz Powdered Spa Sea Salt 2 tbsp SLS (SODIUM LAURYL SULFOACETATE)
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Miss Amazon:
I have a problem that my friends all envy. . . but I am sick and tired ofdealing with it. Because ofnature, I am better endowed than most and am a show-er and a grower. The challenge is that when I go down to the bar. . . because you can see the outline of"it" in my jeans. . . all these men think it is there to touch through my jeans. This is not the way I want to be treated and I feel like a piece ofmeat! What can I do?
Oh Pudding...Miss Amazon can feel your pain and probably would want to if she met you in person. As Shakespeare would say...The Pudding doth protest too much, methinks. You have lived with the monster for decades and you know how to properly tuck it away (if not ask your local drag queen). If this is such a challenge, then wear looser fitting pants and tie that anaconda down! Remember...Miss Amazon loves YOU!
Straight to Bed Miss Amazon: I have a very full life and love all aspects ofit, with the exception ofromance. I would love to find a boyfriend, but all I seem to meet is "straight" guys who want booty calls. I always end up being the other "woman" and I just end up feeling used when they leave after they are done. What can I do to meet men who will want to date me. . . not just breed me? Suffering in Spokane
Well Pudding...sometimes we ask questions just to verify what we know to be the right answer. If a straight guy wants to have a relationship, he will have it with a woman or come out. Some men will stay on the DL indefinitely in order to keep their relationships and self-concept intact. Miss Amazon thinks you are attracted to these men because they are safe...they will not ask you for anything beyond sex...so you have no chance of being hurt...in theory. But, as you can testify, it hurts when someone only wants you for sex. The time has come my dear Pudding to leave the booty calls behind and get involved in places where you can meet single gay men. We have a wonderful LGBT Center in Spokane and a number of drinking establishments...if that is something you do. There are also numerous social organizations in town that would love to have you volunteer. Please know that you are not alone...most gay men go through the stage that you are in and come out the other side better for it. Good luck Suffering and remember...Miss Amazon loves YOU and all you do!!
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By J’son M. Lee
Inspired by the African American Civil Rights Movement, the LGBT community finds itself in a perpetual battle for equality. As gay rights advocates became more vocal, so did the gay rights opponents. Legalization of gay marriage seems to be the current hot topic. At last count, only 10 states allow same-sex marriage; with a handful of others allowing civil unions or domestic partnerships. Emotions are high on both sides. Although we have made great strides, there is still so much yet to be done.
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As our battle continues, it becomes increasingly more important that we make the most of our lives in the interim. Equality may not be imminent, but that doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice our happiness. It is still within our power to create the life we want. Singing sensations, Jason and deMarco are the epitome of this mantra. The duo, who also happen to be life partners, make life look effortless. The couple met in 2001 and dated for a year. They have been together ever since. Despite their diverse backgrounds (Jason Warner comes from a Pentecostal faith background while deMarco grew up Roman
Catholic), the couple has managed to integrate their sexuality and spirituality within their relationship and professional careers. On the matter of their relationship, Jason says “There is no textbook or model...we get to create the kind of relationship we want, and everybody’s looks different...without having such a strong spiritual life, we may not be together...” I switched gears a bit and asked the singers about their music. Some people call their style Christian, while others refer to it as Pop. I asked them how they define their music, and Jason replied, “Society always wants to label everything, and I think it
encloses people in a box. That’s how we felt early on in our career. We were pinned the poster boys for gay Christian singers. In 2006...we released ‘This is Love,’ which was our music video which went on to be #1 on LOGO. We finally felt like we broke free from this box we were put in because it was so much larger than a gay Christian issue. It was a mainstream Pop song. I think that’s how we became who we intended to be...” The couple considers themselves more spiritual than Christian. They are firm believers that religion divides people and spirituality unites. To promote this message, the couple embarked on a 35 day tour
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beginning February 1, 2013. They traveled through 22 southwest and west coast cities. Not only does the tour commemorate their 10 year anniversary as a singing duo, but it also promotes their message of family and diversity. “Straight, black, white, Asian, man, woman, adopted, fostered or gay, we are all part of this human family and most of us want the same thing. We hope to find someone to love who will love us in return; and maybe have a family with that person,” says deMarco.
absolutely create whatever life we want for ourselves. Nobody is going to hand it to us on a silver plate. We have to go out there and do our homework. We knew what we wanted and figured out how we were going to make that happen...the same thing with our personal relationship...we see the life we want and we’re going to keep working on it because it’s what we both want,” says deMarco.
Jason and deMarco recognize how blessed they are. In an effort to give back and give others an Jason and deMarco not only talk the talk, but they opportunity to create the lives they want, they started walk the walk. They found love, but realized a non-profit called SAFE. The goal for SAFE is to something was missing. They began discussions provide a Safe, Affirming, Family Environment for about having kids five years into their relationship. youth and young adults in need. For more At the seven year mark, they got serious about it. The information, please visit their website at couple had been traveling so much and came to the http://safehavenforall.ning.com/. realization they could go on at that pace where their career was their life or acknowledge there was “Anything is possible; with commitment, with faith something more. For them, that something more was and with action anything is possible.” a family. Their story of becoming parents is a fascinating one. Jason will soon release a book ~Jason and deMarco entitled The Journey ofSame Sex Surrogacy which he hopes to release in the fall. The abbreviated version is that the couple ultimately ended up with fraternal twins (Noah and Mason) who will turn two in May of this year. As if their story couldn’t get any more fascinating, Jason is the biological father of Noah, and deMarco is the biological father of Mason. In Texas, two same sex people are not allowed to go on a birth certificate. As such, the couple legally adopted each other’s child. How’s that for creating the life (or in this case, lives) you want? With a loving partnership, a great career and two beautiful boys, this couple has created an amazing life. They want to impart what they’ve learned to others in in the LGBT community. Through their lives and their music, they continue to inspire us to live our best lives. “A lot of people are looking for what we found with each other. We have had bumps in the road. There are so many different kinds of relationships out there. For our relationship, it’s 100% communication and 100% responsibility...honor your partner’s feelings...have fun. It’s so easy to get caught up in the little things that drive you crazy about each other. We can
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Graphics by Mich Rabushka Lysik
A Fictional Series By Jerry Rabushka “Are you sure you want this?” Rhonda Watt huddled on a couch avoiding eye contact with her husband, wishing she could look without sorrow. He felt the same. “I don’t want this at all.” “Well, I’ll stay here and undo the last ten years of my life.” “You call me if the heat goes out.” “Oh, it’s out all right.” Skuff put the last box in his car. He’d be back for more; there’s always something you leave behind. The wife and the life couldn’t come with. It was a relief, and it wasn’t. Now he could have anything and anyone he wanted, other than the impossible of what he had; which, when he looked it over, wasn’t what he wanted either.
“I mean you, Skuff.” Spoken with such drool and reverence, 20 years of pent up demand dropped those jeans to a final resting place. Jasper noticed the ring too late. “You come back when that’s gone.” Skuff skulked home and hid what he thought everyone could see. Three months, four or five, it boiled over like oatmeal in a small pot. About the fortieth time Rhonda asked what was wrong. That oatmeal burned. ---------------
He wanted go to a diner and play with fries and ketchup, but it was cold and furnaces were breaking. Emergency call—Mikilana Kalani. A lot more musical than SkuffWatt, her name rolled over his tongue like a pineapple shake. She bemoaned having moved from Hawaii to Spokane and offered to pay a rush fee. Skuff rushed.
It was fifteen degrees, with ugly treaded snow that Some early 20s thingamabob named Rolie had long since wore out its welcome. accosted him at the door. “You are the most wonderful man! It is so cold in here.” Miki lumbered into the room, she looked about 60 and the very of portly; a motley assortment of folks Say five or six months ago, it was Jasper--a client. definition followed to hail him as savior. It was a rambling old SkuffWatt could fix a furnace like no one else in house. Spokane. He could troubleshoot; he could find a problem before it found you. The last thing anyone Ms. Kalani had a… well she could finally say “a wanted in that city was to have the furnace go out plus a bizarre dog pound of younger folks when winter barged through on its way to Missoula. wife,” living with them because they had nowhere else to Jasp called him up for an inspection, but it turned go. into more. At 36 years old, Skuff was 30-extra How annoyingly coincidental, he thought. pounds bulky, had a nice mustache, and he looked good in a grease-stained blue shirt and jeans that “Can we keep him?” asked a young and scrawny refused to stay up comfortably. Rolie, bouncing like a slinky. “He’s hot in that real man kinda way.” “You’re awesome,” said Jasper--shaggy, blond, and as pale white as Skuff was black. “Rolie, quiet!” Miki was embarrassed. “Yep, I keep ’em running.” ---------------
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“I’ll break the furnace again.” He glanced and sulked. “Oh, a ring.” Skuff momentously pulled it off. “Not no more. Look, I’m just here to give you some heat,” he defended himself. “That’s what I want.” Everything about Rolie was grating at him. “Oh come on, you’re the furnace guy. You’re every boy’s dream.” “Enough,” said Miki. “Don’t make me get the leash.” “Come on, tell him, tell him. She’s a newwwlywed. Don’t they look fab?” Mikilani’s new-wife-yet-old-partner was Lilly, a lifelong resident of Spokane. Miki gave up a balmy Hawaiian lifestyle for Lilly--for a long time now, “livin’ in the 509.” No one was sure what they actually did for that livin’. With no kids of their own, they’d taken in three homeless stragglers from the LGBT community. Skuff hated to mix personal and professional; but after Jasper, perhaps that milk had been irrevocably spilled. “I’m gay.” It was the first time he’d said it out loud, in front of people. Of course, he said it to a cuckoo clock rather than any one in the room. “Marriage ended about an hour ago. I don’t know what to do.” “Well, we’re hooked up,” said Miki. “Maybe we’ll help you out.” “She’s the resource queen!” Rolie squirted. “Right now,” Skuff said evenly, “I just want a window to stare out of.” Hopefully, with men walking by.
To be continued in the next issue
...
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Complete Music Video Photo is a locally owned franchise location that has been in the wedding and event industry for over 35 years. We simplify your plans by offering DJ, Videography, Photo Booth and Photography services all under one roof. As a native ofSpokane, I am connected to all the local wedding and event vendors in Central and Eastern Washington as well as the Idaho Panhandle. I am also familiar with all the LGBT friendly event businesses in the area. We keep our pricing affordable without sacrificing quality. Along with our intense focus on quality we firmly believe that having all our services under one roofwill make it easy for you to get caught up in the fun ofplanning your wedding or event without having to shop around to four or five different wedding event service providers. I’m excited to help you plan your special day! Sincerely, Christian Rosenau
March 2013 www.ProudTimes.com Page 33
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My sister Terri (age 6), I (age 4) and my parents visited my grandmother. When we were leaving, Terri was distraught over the absence of Grandma. So my grandmother gave Terri two imaginary mice, Hector and Jehosefat. For a good 2 hours in the back of the car, my sister played with those mice, and not me. So I asked for them, and she held out her hand. I pretended to scoop them up and pop them into my mouth, chewed and swallowed. Terri was crying. When my parents found out what I had done, they laughed. We got Terri calmed down. But, because she was mad, she still wouldn’t play with me. My father asked what we wanted for dinner when we stopped. I said, “Nothing for me thanks. I just had a couple of mice. I’m stuffed”-and my sister started to cry.
My sister Terri, (age 7) and I (age 5) heard about Hell at a Sunday church service. That night, when we lay in bed, I told Terri, “I’m going to Hell. I’m going right now. I’m going down, down, down…it’s really hot!” My sister started crying and my mother came through the door. She asked, “what’s going on in here?” My sister said, “Debbi’s going to Hell!” Without missing a beat, my mother said, “I know she is. But, what’s wrong with you?” During hunting season, there is often a tragic event where hunters shoot other hunters. Only Native Americans should do that. They use every part of the hunter. March 2013 www.ProudTimes.com - Page 35
By Al Lozano
Many of us have searched for a long-term relationship (LTR). Most of us watched our parents, relatives or friends in their commitments to each other and marriages for many years; 10, 20, 25, and even 50+ year partnerships can be easily found. These days, is 2 years considered a “long term”? When does a relationship move from simply “being together” to actually becoming an LTR? For myself and many others, there is no time limit; it just takes place as both individuals grow and the commitment to each other evolves and strengthens. Relationships mature at different paces for each couple. My LTR with my partner Rich is in its 23rd year. Our anniversary is on the last day of October, as this was when we realized we were going to be together for a long time. For me, a relationship lasting 3 years is an LTR. An LTR can be found in any number of ways: introductions by friends, online chat rooms, phone apps, message boards and even Craigslist. No longer is Craigslist used only to sell your recently acquired grandmother’s collection of knick-knacks or other relatives hand-me-downs. On any given day you can
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find ads for people seeking LTRs on Craigslist. It is possible to find love online.
My partner Rich and I met in Spokane’s Dempsey’s Brass Rail (a bar/nightclub which is now but a memory); it was a chance Sunday night meeting on the upstairs dance floor. There was a time when people gathered in droves and danced upstairs. While times have changed since I met Rich in 1990, I still believe there is nothing more exciting than meeting a future LTR partner in person. Seeing a person’s mannerisms--the way they carry themselves, the way they talk and express themselves--allows each to observe the other’s characteristics. Text messages or online chats can be misinterpreted and may lead to missed opportunities.
years and will be celebrating their 25th anniversary in 2013. Their story is somewhat unique, in that they met online back before Facebook, MySpace, Growlr, Scruff and the many other social platforms we take for granted today. They have endured 4 different moves that took them from Baltimore to Denver to Salt Lake City and finally here to Spokane. Though their relationship has had its ups and downs, Richard and Michael knew from the very beginning that their relationship was going to last a lifetime.
There are things which help to keep them together and centered. Both consider themselves “geeks” in one way or another--be it their interest in comics, About 4 years ago, Rich and I met another LTR boxing, and Star Trek. In Richard’s case, he stays couple and have since become good friends with grounded with his love of ‘80’s music, karaoke and Michael and Richard. They have been together for 24 bacon! Often times, one’s uncertainty is the other’s strength. As they near their 25th anniversary as a couple, Michael mentioned that sometimes he takes Richard for granted; but, sometimes stress “is what it is” and “you do the best you can, you do what you have to do to get though it.” Michael and Richard enjoy an exciting and relaxing vacation every few years. They have decided to invite friends and family on a cruise to Mexico as they celebrate their 25th anniversary this autumn. According to Michael, going on a cruise is “a great bang for your buck”; especially with today’s tight budgets, it is well worth the cost. This will be their 5th cruise and the 2nd for Rich and me. We are happy we will be able to be there for this special occasion. Richard said it best (looking back on his and Michael’s LTR), “we are just like everybody else; we can make it just like everybody else and make it last and be happy and have fun.” I could not have said it any better myself.
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intrigued. After procuring a pound of bulk spearmint for about $15 USD, I started to drink a quart of tea a Spearmint tea is a great addition to the arsenal of the day--which is about twice the needed dose. Since I transitioning woman. Spearmint has a chemical in it like tea, I make a lot of it. I would drink half in the that has anti-androgenic properties. Mainly, it acts on morning and half in the evening. It took about a the follicles of the facial and body hair, interrupting month to notice any results, but I eventually started to the androgen receptors in the follicle that would see it. My body hair grows in a lot slower. I can go a signal the need to produce hair when testosterone is week or two before I need to re-shave my legs. present. It does not interfere with the hair on your Instead of shaving twice a day to control the hideous head, which is a big bonus to many of us trans shadow on my face, I can go two days before I need a women--me included! shave. Also, the thickness of the individual hairs and the density of hair have been substantially reduced. For centuries, women have used spearmint to combat My hair is much more femme than before. unwanted body hair. Turkish researchers have confirmed that the stuff works (Grant 2010). There I call spearmint tea my “HRTea.” are also many testimonials of trans women who have used spearmint tea to great effect (MTF Transexual, Spearmint has medicinal properties beyond hair 2011). reduction. It treats fever, flu, cold and calms a nervous stomach. Transsexual and transgender women can add spearmint to their regimen of Hormone Replacement I like to make a quart of strong spearmint and black Therapy (HRT) without fear of side effects, and it is tea in the morning. I drink half and save half for latter rather effective. I have used spearmint tea to great in the day. Like many medications, it is best to take effect. Prior to drinking the tea, I was on estrogen and more than one dose daily. Spreading it out 12 hours anti-androgens; but, my body hair had only apart would work best; but, as I like to add regular tea responded in a minor way. I was rather upset, as I to my brew for flavor, I don’t drink it too late in the would shave 2 times a day and I couldn’t keep up evening due to the caffeine. with the hair. Then, I read about spearmint and I was By Cynthia Bussell
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Here is my HRT recipe: I boil a quart of water. After it boils, reduce the heat to simmer and throw in about 1/6-1/4 of an ounce of spearmint tea to the water (a moderate handful). Add a tablespoon of lemon and a small pinch of salt. The lemon adds acidity to the water and assists the chemicals to release from the plant material. For flavor, you can also add a couple of normal tea bags. Cover and let sit for 15 minutes. The brew needs to steep for at least 15 minutes, as this is how long it takes for the majority of the anti-androgen to release from the plant material. Then strain. Sugar and lemon make it yummy.
References
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Grant, P. (2010) . Spearmint herbal tea has significant
anti-androgen effects in polycystic ovarian syndrome. A randomized controlled trial. Phytother Research, 24(2):186-8. doi: 10.1002/ptr.2900. Web. <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19585478>. MTF Transexual (2011) . “Finally Got Spearmint
Tea. ” Susan’s Place Transgender Resources. Web. <http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,1058 56.0.html>.
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partner at all I felt she was doing wrong instead of looking within myself to at least find the balance I I am not familiar with a lot of couples who, at the needed to get me through the breakup after four years onset of their relationship, ask each other, “So, how of working living and raising children together. Even do you deal with conflict?” We are more likely to ask if I would have changed one thing in how I reacted to how many relationships and how long the our conflict, it might not have changed everything. relationships were, in order to establish whether or But, it could have made me understand myself better, not our “next ex-wife/husband” goes in the “alright allowed me to be more spiritually balanced and be for now pile” or the “forever pile”. Interestingly, not more of a loving individual to my children, friends a lot of studies exist to support the theory that same- and myself. sex relationships last longer because each gender speaks their own language. If women speak the same With today’s trend towards inner-peace and selflanguage and men speak their own same language, discovery, one has a multitude of choices to create the relationship should last longer, right? Incorrect, at change within self; however, trying to create a “new least from the communication perspective. We are you” is not usually recommended. Embracing self individuals; therefore, we make errors in judgment, and understanding how we react to conflict is fail to listen when we should and we are reactive and important to create any change in our relationships. defensive. This is not a trait of one sex or the other, Understanding ourselves first gives us a window to but a human trait. see things from a different perspective. This is not saying we have to delve deep into a painful past, but According to a study at the University of Cincinnati, understanding why we react to certain “buttons” our led by Psychology department Assistant Professor partners push is helpful. In, The Four Agreements, a Sarah Whitton, same-sex couples “are at heightened Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel risk for breaking up, due to a number of issues Ruiz (1997), he outlines the four agreements as: “Be including lack of social and community support, impeccable with your words, don’t take anything stress of discrimination and a lack of longstanding personally, don’t make assumptions and always do cultural norms for same-sex relationships (University your best.” Even if we choose only one of these of Cincinnati, 2012). Even withstanding issues like things to practice, we can reduce our finger-pointing this, same-sex couples still have power over their and find ourselves more in the center of who we are. communication styles and conflict management within the relationship, regardless of their lack of References: support outside the relationship. University ofCincinnati (2012, November 14). Change can occur throughout life and is not Research explores relationship-building program for something that is only for the young at heart or body. male same-sex couples. Science Daily. Retrieved Even changing one small element of our conflict 2013-02-03. management style can vastly improve our communication issues. I remember all too well in the Ruiz, Don Miguel. 1997. The Four Agreements. throes of my first, tumultuous, same-sex, Amber Allen Publishing. San Rafael, CA. relationship, completely pointing the finger at my By Memphis Rainne
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photographers, caterers, bakers, musicians, etc.), I asked the vendors if they were same-sex-friendly. At I had the opportunity to attend the Spokane Bridal least 95% said, “yes”--many, excitedly so. I also Fest at the Spokane Convention Center on January asked them if they had an issue with me mentioning 12th and 13th. It was quite an eye-opener and a little their business in Proud Times. The majority said they overwhelming for many couples that looked like deer had no problem with this, while some seemed a little caught in cars’ headlights. There were so many reticent. I wish this wasn’t the case, but I understand. vendors eager to share their products and their Spokane seems to have a pretty conservative base expertise--such as caterers, photographers, and and, if you are a struggling business, it might be wedding venue providers--there were even places to difficult to openly take a stand on this issue. get spinal manipulation and spiritual healing. There is simply not enough space to list all of these Even though it has been a few years, as a wedding amazing vendors, so we will be putting together a officiant and part-time coordinator, I have attended resource guide highlighting local vendors which will many wedding festivals and kept up on the trends. answer some questions and help in planning for that Currently, photo booths are the latest craze and special day. people are looking at more rustic and unconventional wedding venues. Another trend? Same-sex marriage For those interested, Inland Northwest Professional is legal in Washington State! The Advocate has Resource Organization (INPRO) is hosting a Bridal named Spokane the “third gayest city” in the nation. Fair on March 23rd from 10am to 4pm at the Red The criteria which gave Spokane this ranking were: Lion Inn at the Park. Admission is free with a LGBT elected officials, fabulous shopping, roller donation to the food bank. I would recommend derby, and marriage equality. (Breen, 2013.) setting a firm budget prior to attending and decide what is most important. For example, if pictures are This year I attended the Bridal Festival with a new most important, then look for other areas where you goal in mind. I wanted to see just how same-sexcan cut back. friendly the wedding community has become. I attended the festival on both days and was still unable Hopefully, I will be attending next year’s Inland to visit all of the vendors’ booths. I watched the Northwest “Wedding Festival.” fashion show and was pleased to see that the clothes were not all focused on wedding gowns. Several Resources: choices were offered; several appeared to be complimentary for same-sex couples. Every booth I Breen, Matthew. The Advocate. Gayest Cities in approached (event rentals, ice sculptures, America, 2013. 9 January 2013. Web. By Ricki Zipkin
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By Sidney Andrews
Negative thinking about self or others has an insidious effect on one’s life. It is a gradual accumulation of destructive thoughts that become a habitual way of thinking, talking and acting. Then, one day we wake up and realize that the life we dreamed about didn’t materialize. Somehow, we allowed years of negative thinking and self talk to convince us we're not smart, worthy, brave, strong or prepared to achieve personal or professional success.
Refining our thoughts is likened to cleaning out the closet and getting rid of clothes that no longer fit, serve their purpose, are outdated, or worn. So it is with our thought filled minds. If we are to live our best life, we must unload the negative thoughts that Robert Schuller, well-known evangelist from the no longer contribute to living the life we envision for Crystal Cathedral in Orange County, CA, in one of ourselves. his sermons said, “Negative thinking is deadly!” He’s absolutely right. Negative thinking deadens our Save your best clothes and preserve your best desires and kills our dreams and aspirations. Negative thoughts. Make room for the new and improved, self thinking robs us of our self-esteem, self-worth, selfthinking, independent and loving you. love, self-respect, and self-confidence. Some of us have stepped out of the closet and brought our old, worn out, moldy and outdated trappings with us. The habit of negative thinking is useless and limiting. Breaking this habit is difficult. Yet, to become more of who we are--or choose to be-it is quite necessary. After all, cleaning closets isn't for sissies.
Who of us would be content to settle for less than the best life has to offer us? Yet, we do. Don't we? At some time or other, we tossed out our own dreams in favor of living someone else’s dream for us. Then, when we found ourselves empty-handed and shortchanged, we blamed everyone and everything around us, for what we unknowingly allowed to transpire.
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Whether due to fear of confrontation, rejection, ridicule, or lacking in self-esteem or self-worth, we handed over the key that unlocks our personal longings and secret dreams. Whatever the reason, we gave our power away--convinced others knew us better then we knew ourselves--and as a result we settled for less than the best life has to offer. It is time to rid ourselves of this preoccupation of what others think about us--what we are doing, should be doing, or aren't doing. Pause for a moment and ask yourself:
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• What in my thoughts is keeping me from experiencing love, laughter, joy and even bliss in my life? • What part of me have I sacrificed, to please and make everything right for everyone else in my life? • How many times have I said “yes” instead of “no”, out of fear of what someone might think? • How often have I regretted not speaking the truth about who I am, out of fear?
â&#x20AC;˘ Why don't I feel that I matter and deserve better? These are tough questions we must answer ourselves, if we are to live our authentic truth and best life. There is nothing outside ourselves that can limit our potential to live a life rich with opportunity, fulfill our dreams, and become the creator of our own life story. The one and only obstacle in our way are the thoughts we entertain. Each of us is made up of boundless, spiritual energy just waiting to be awakened in us. Are you ready to trust and have faith that, if you get out of your own way, there will be a solid foundation that will not be shaken by any storm? What happens as we awaken and realize the rewards of being and living our authentic truth? Whatever that truth might be, we light the way for others to follow. We become like a lighthouse that stands firm on solid rock, defying the fury of the elements, forever beckoning, directing, and guiding ships to safety with the pulsing of her light. We, as a GLBTQ community, can be the light that reaches out into the darkness. We can show the way to others who, like us, desire to know that within them is an indomitable spirit that serves as a guide to our inner most thoughts. Be self-propelled, believing, daring, and unafraid on your journey. In and under all circumstances, be authentically YOU!
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Products: https://crystalrose. myrandf. com I have struggled with my skin for the past decade. As it turned out, my problems were due to an undetected gluten allergy. Once I removed the gluten from my diet, my active breakouts ceased. . . but the damage had already been done. My skin was left red, bumpy and scarred on the surface. I have tried expensive microderm treatments and used department store products to clean and cover the redness. No matter what I tried everything; all that stared back at me in the mirror was an irritated and bright red face. Yuck. To top it off, my face constantly hurt with a severe tingly sensation (as ifbeing poked with pins and needles).
Business information: https://crystalrose. myrandf. com Call or Text 509-389-0458 Email: crystalrose@myrandf. com
A friend introduced me to Rodan+Fields Dermatologists products (from the doctors behind Proactiv). She gave me a sample ofthe Microdermabrasion Paste which, ofcourse, didn't undo 10 years ofproblems in one wash; but, it was the first thing I had tried in the last decade that left my skin with a softer texture. This had my attention. I decided to purchase a business pack which included 2 different regimens to try. I thought, ifthis stuff worked for my face, I might as well tell others about it as a consultant. After just one week ofregular use ofthe Anti-Age regimen, substituting the Unblemish spot fading toner, my redness was down by 70% and the pain was gone completely. After another 2 weeks, my scarring and redness had gone down another 10%, with only a few damaged spots remaining. I would say that Rodan+Fields had proven itselfwithin its 60-day money-back guarantee! Additonal bonus: because I chose the Anti-age regimen, adding in the Serum (like Spanx for your face), my ugly forehead wrinkle had greatly diminished virtually diminished. Double-bonus: for the first time in over 10 years, I was able to walk out my front door foundation-free! The products proved the motto “Changing Skin. Changing Lives. ” Now, I’m here to tell you about it with confidence! Crystal Rosenau
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By Andrew T.
Dogs are very affectionate and make wonderful pets. However, they require time, money and attention. Ideally, a dog should be walked at least 30 minutes, twice a day. Professional training is a good idea to address behavioral problems. In addition to being brushed on a regular basis, nail-clipping, haircuts and other grooming are necessities. In addition to medical emergencies, annual veterinarian appointments should be arranged. Conservatively, the yearly cost of owning a dog is about $1,000. If you truly do want to get a dog as a pet here are some things to consider. Determine if your pet is going to be an inside or an outside dog. An inside dog will require serious potty training. If left alone for lengthy periods of time without access to the outside, a wonderful product called “Potty Patch” allows the dog to use this “facility” when needed. Climate should also be considered when choosing a dog. Short hair dogs do well in warmer weather,
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whereas longer hair breeds are better suited for the cold. With the advent of doggie clothes, short hair breeds can be made more comfortable in colder weather climate. However, a Siberian Husky would be miserable in the Arizona desert. A pet owner’s home should also be taken into account when selecting a dog. Living in a single bedroom apartment is not conducive for a Saint Bernard, but is a perfect location for a small dog. Similarly, small or medium-sized dogs would be suitable for larger homes without a yard. Having a spacious home with a large yard allows you to have any size dog. Regardless of the location or size of your living environment, a sedentary person should look for a dog suitable for an inactive lifestyle. Animal Planet’s website includes a list of such breeds (http://animal.discovery.com/breed-selector/dogbreeds/laid-back-dog-breeds.html). This website has answers to many questions about the plethora of breeds that are available. For example, Australian Shepherds and Border Collies are working breeds
that can suffer from depression if they are stuck in an apartment and don’t have a job to do. It is helpful to learn there are organizations that offer herding classes and agility courses that are great outlets for working dogs, as well as most other breeds.
she had to be careful because Nikota could stretch out and push her off the bed.
On one occasion, Nikota’s heroic actions averted certain tragedy. The neighbor’s two aggressive dogs got loose and came running onto Nikota’s property, I am a big proponent of pet adoption. In my opinion, chasing down a young neighborhood girl. As she was there is no better place to save an animal than from a running towards the house, Nikota dashed past the shelter. When choosing a dog, I strongly suggest girl on a direct course to the attacking dogs. He avoiding breeders and animal stores. Pet store bulldozed through the first dog, then grabbed the puppies have a myriad of issues starting with second by the scruff and thrust it to the ground. As multiple contagious diseases, poor health and lack of soon as the girl was safely inside, Nikota let go of the socialization. You usually pay more then what the first dog and stepped off the second dog. He calmly market value of the breed is--along with the fact that walked back to his front porch and laid down. they are usually mixed breeds instead of the pure Meanwhile the other dogs quickly retreated to their breed advertised. Don’t get sucked in with the idea home. Nikota was an amazing, loving and caring dog that the store has a return policy if there are any that made everyone he met a loyal friend. When it issues with the new pet. What usually happens to was his time to go, everyone who knew him mourned returned puppies is they are euthanized. The and still thinks of him fondly. reluctance towards breeders is not with every breeder. Some are very good and responsible. Others are just in it for the money and do not care about the wellbeing of the animals. Also there are so many deserving dogs in shelters and rescues that you can find any specific breeds you want. Taking these points into consideration will help you choose a appropriate dog. Remembering Nikota
This issue’s reader submission is about a dog named Nikota. Nikota was half German Shepherd and half English Mastiff. He had a body of a Mastiff and a head of a Shepherd. He might have had a smaller Shepherd head, if it were not for his huge Mastiff teeth. When Nikota approached--even if he was smiling--he looked so vicious and you didn’t want to get on his bad side. At one hundred and thirty pounds he could knock you down just by running into you. With Nikota lying on the porch, no one would dare try and break into his owner’s house. When he wanted to play fetch, he would bring you his favorite toy (half a cinder block). When you see a dog playing fetch with a cinder block, you realize that you don’t mess with him. He also loved to sleep on the bed with his owner. Being a hundred pound light weight,
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and dreams. I want someone who is completely committed to me--someone who makes my heart As I get older, I find that my notion of relationships flutter at the mere thought of them. I am unabashedly changes. When I was younger, I wanted nothing more a hopeless romantic who believes there is a special than a good-looking muscular man, with little to no person out there with whom I can build a life. Is that concern for stability. Now that I am older, I desire unrealistic? Am I too caught up in the movie ideal of commitment and stability over superficial love and falling in love? attachments. I want someone who is financially secure--someone whom I can depend on in a crisis. I As I ponder these questions, I am confronted with the want someone who is my intellectual equal--someone reality that maybe I am in the minority. I have heard who will challenge my convictions and force me to many gay men say they want to be in a relationship, look at life differently. I want someone I can trust-but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found that few want to put in the work--and someone whom I can share my innermost thoughts relationships are a lot of work. Along my journey, I by Jâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;son M. Lee
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realized many of my friends were in seemingly happy relationships, but there seemed to be a common component that troubled me. Whether open or surreptitious, many of these happy relationships were not committed ones--at least not in the traditional sense. They were open relationships--a form of nonmonogamy in which the partners are in a loving, supportive relationship, but are sexually active with other partners.
that the couple assigned value to their anatomy. For now, the partners only have sex with a third party independent of the other. They have discussed sharing someone, but it has never actualized.
With the exception of how they handle sex in their relationship, all other components resemble that of a traditional relationship. Even though their sexual dynamic is a choice, the couple admits that they each become jealous from time to time. They wonder if a I never thought I was of that ilk (i.e., the unfaithful bond is being formed with the third party and if the type); but, as I looked at their relationships, I person the other partner is sleeping with is better in wondered if the paradigm of gay relationships had bed than they are. Admittedly, all types of things run shifted. I wondered if this was merely a different kind through their heads. For this reason, they agree that it of love borne out of some evolved ideal of happiness is important to keep the lines of communication open. or if this option was manifested out of nothing more than the inability of gay men to commit. I decided to After speaking with the couple, it appears they have a interview one of my friends and his partner to learn happy, healthy relationship. I concluded my interview more about this relational choice. We’ll call them with the question, “What would be your response to Justin and Todd to protect their privacy. people who say you are having your cake and eating it, too?” Justin responded, “I would say it’s true, but Justin and Todd are an attractive, professional African I’m doing it with someone I’m madly in love with American couple. Both come from a stable, twowho has the same sexual desires as me.” parent home. The couple has been together for a total of three years. They committed to each other after a Well folks, there you have it. Whether we agree with year of “sex with no strings.” The couple their choice or not, there is something to be said for acknowledged early on that they enjoyed having sex finding a relationship that works best for you and the with other people. As such, they created a person with whom you choose to share your life. relationship that worked best for them. The couple With infidelity running rampant in our community, has two rules when it comes to sex with a third party: there is also something to be said for a couple that safe sex is a must, and the other partner must perform has found a way to circumvent the pain of infidelity. in the role of “top.” I thought it was very interesting Hell, let’s all have cake!
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By Terra Price
men are not complying with gender norms and may therefore not be fully accepted (by bigoted or The development of a given person’s gender identity ignorant people) as a full member of their gender. But is the product of a complicated process involving you don’t have to be gay to be called “queer.” Any genetics, hormones, and environmental pressures child who does not conform to community gender which one could take a lifetime to study and still not norms may face the bullying and harassment so well fully understand. What I would like to address here is known to GLBT individuals. the impact which is easiest to understand: environmental pressure. Before I go any further, In many communities, failure to conform to gender allow me to clarify; I am NOT saying that we can norms or stereotypes may hold dire consequences. teach, shape, or train children to be boys or girls, gay, Let’s set aside the extreme examples of countries straight, or otherwise. Gender and sexual identity are wherein failure to conform can be a literal, legally too intrinsic to a person to be altered by external endorsed death sentence, and focus on the beautiful forces. What we can (and do) impact is their US ofA. Even in the most diverse and educated expression of these intrinsic states, as well as their portions of our country, non-conformity can and does acceptance of the expression of themselves and lead to increased incidents of harassment and outright others. physical abuse, especially in communities wherein the religious institutions teach that failure to conform As most of the readers of this article will be aware, is unnatural or un-godlike (Adamczyk & Pitt, 2009). there is a lot more to gender than what you do or do The Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC, not have between your legs. That which the world at 2008) states that GLBTQ children are much more large tends to think of as gender is mainly composed likely to become victims of violence, harassment, and of a given person’s biological sex, known sexual discrimination at home or school. Due to these orientation, and outward gendered expression. In stressors, GLBTQ youth are at significantly increased most cultures, children who’s biological sex matches risk of depression, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, up with cultural behavior norms (including being and represent a greater portion of successful suicides attracted to people of the “opposite” sex) are than their minority status would otherwise predict considered “normal” examples of their perceived (Russell & Joyner, 2001). gender. This is why you might hear people refer to a This is a concern for ALL people who interact with gay man as not being a “real” man. Men who love children, not just those raising or working with
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GLBTQ youth. First of all, you may be interacting with one of these precious souls and just not know it yet. Thinking back on comedian Tracy Morgan’s 2011 tirade about homosexuality, in which he stated that he would stab his son to death if he turned out to be gay, I remember a lot of outrage about the hatefulness of his words, but little if any mention about how these words might impact his sons. What if one of his three sons did turn out to fall somewhere within the GLBTQ spectrum? His words and actions could already have caused his sons harm by teaching them to feel ashamed and afraid any time they feel like doing something which does not conform to their father’s ideal image of masculinity. His words have probably also harmed other young people; by saying those things, he sent his sons the message that this kind of bigoted behavior is acceptable. Perhaps his sons are out there right now, mocking a girl wanting to play football, or calling a boy in cooking class a fag. Just as this problem of intolerance is rooted in our behaviors, so is the solution. From the very moment of birth, children are being sent environmental messages regarding gender norms. Initially, it is parents--then later, it is television, peers, and educators--that play a game of show-and-tell, communicating to children how someone of their (perceived) gender is “supposed” to act (Ehrensaft, 2011). Before we even learn the words “boy” or “girl,” we begin to learn our family’s gender norms by observing who picks us up, cleans us, and feeds us. If, for instance, those activities are modeled primarily by a female, those activities begin to become associated with femininity (Cunningham, 2001). The activities and behaviors children see modeled by adults influence what activities and behaviors they believe are normal and appropriate. If you want the children in your life to engage in a diverse array of behaviors and activities, and/or accept others who do, you must lead by example. Research shows that children will follow suit (Davis, 2007; Cunningham, 2001) and, classroom by classroom, family by family, child by child, the world will become a safer and more accepting place for everyone.
References
:
Adamczyk, A., & Pitt, C. (2009). Shaping attitudes
about homosexuality: The role of religion and cultural context. Social Science Research, 38(2), 338351. doi:10.1016/j.ssresearch.2009.01.002 Cunningham, M. (2001) . The influence of parental
attitudes and behaviors on children's attitudes toward gender and household labor in early adulthood. Journal OfMarriage & The Family, 63 (1), 111-122. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2001.00111.x Davis, S. N. (2007) . Gender ideology construction
from adolescence to young adulthood. Social Science Research, 36(3), 1021-1041. doi:10.1016/j.ssresearch.2006.08.001 Ehrensaft, D. (2011 ). Boys will be girls, girls will be
boys: Children affect parents as parents affect children in gender nonconformity. Psychoanalytic Psychology, 28(4), 528-548. doi:10.1037/a0023828 Suicide Prevention Resource Center [SPRC]. (2008). Suicide Risk and Prevention for Lesbian,
Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Youth . Newton, MA:
Education Development Center, Inc.
Russell S.T., Joyner, K. (2001) . Adolescent sexual
orientation and suicide risk: Evidence from a national study. Am J Public Health, 91 (8), 1276–81. Retrieved from EBSCOhost
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Resources
OutSpokane
PO Box 883 PO Box 65 Spokane WA 99201-0883 Spokane WA 99210-0065 509/720-7609 Website Facebook Website Facebook iscs@icehouse.net OutSpokane meetings are held every 1st and 3rd The ISCS is arguably the oldest organization of its Tuesday at The LGBT Center (1522 N. Washington kind in the Spokane Metropolitan Area, providing for St., #102 from 7:15-9pm. OutSpokane™ a 501(c)(3) support and concern of issues of the Gay, Lesbian, tax exempt volunteer organization, exists to fund, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning communities host and coordinate Spokane’s Pride Parade and of Eastern Washington and Northern Idaho. A variety Rainbow Festival, the largest celebration in Eastern of shows, Drag Shows, Fundraisers, Outings, Washington in support of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Camping Trips, Raffles and Auctions are used to Transgender and Queer or Questioning people. Our promote this unity. Our goal is to seek out the needs family-oriented activities provide many educational and provide for those needs as humanely, efficiently opportunities and experiences that advance visibility, and as readily as possible. We are registered in the advocacy and empowerment of our diverse State ofWashington as a Non Profit Business Entity community of GLBTQ people, their families, friends and have a Board of Directors in place, regulated by and allies in the Inland Northwest, Eastern Articles of Incorporation and By-Laws as required. Washington and Northern Idaho. We refuse to discriminate on any basis and work toward our goal of providing services for as wide of a Pride Foundation range of needs as we are able. To do this, we use Pride Foundation funds set aside in special accounts, all raised PO Box 2194 voluntarily by our community, and all funds are Spokane, WA 99210 issued as needed. Farand Gunnels – Regional Development Organizer for Eastern Washington Inland Northwest Business Alliance (INBA) 509-481-0402 9 S. Washington, Ste. 618 farand@pridefoundation.org Spokane WA 99201 Website Facebook Twitter 509/455-3699 Website Pride Foundation provides grants and scholarships; Interesting speakers every month. Great opportunity inspires a culture of generosity that connects and to network with other business people in the area. strengthens Northwest organizations, leaders, and Meet new people in town and have fun. Bring a students who are creating LGBTQ equality. friend. The location of the event is rotating every two months. Please check the web site for this month's Spokane PFLAG location. PO Box 10292 Spokane WA 99209 Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Center 509/593-0191 (LGBT Center) Website Facebook 1522 N. Washington St., Ste. 102 Support@SpokanePFLAG.org Spokane WA 99201 Membership meetings are on the third Tuesday of 509/489-1914 each month at 7:00pm at Bethany Presbyterian Website Facebook Church (2607 S. Ray St., Spokane WA 99223). All Local community resource center. Our Mission is to are welcome. build a vibrant LGBTQ community through Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays promotes the collaborative programs promoting education, health and well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and advocacy and wellness. transgender persons, their families and friends Imperial Sovereign Court ofSpokane (ISCS)
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through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, the end discrimination and secure equal civil rights. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.
College Groups Central Washington University Diversity Education Center
SURC Room 253 400 E. University Way Ellensburg WA 98926 509/963-1685 Website dec@cwu.edu Committed to creating an atmosphere on campus of acceptance, equality and inclusion for all persons regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. EWU Pride Center
105 Showalter Hall Cheney WA 99004 509/359-7870 Website Facebook pride@ewu.edu We are here to support the needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning and ally students, faculty and staff at Eastern Washington University.
Gonzaga University HERO
Unity House 709 E. Desmet Spokane WA 99258 Website hero@zagmail.gonzaga.edu Social group for GLBT students. Gonzaga University School ofLaw - OutLaws
Website Facebook mpaladin@lawschool.gonzaga.edu The GSA-Outlaws is devoted to promoting an inclusive law school community for LGBT students, faculty, and staff, as well as their allies. The organization fulfills this mission through many social, academic, and professional events that create campus dialogue on LGBT civil rights and legal advocacy. North Idaho College Gay/Straight Alliance
Facebook theshort1@live.com Our mission is to promote a positive and supportive environment for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, questioning and straight people as well as those who support them. Spokane Community College - ST:GLOBAL QSA
Betsy Lawrence - Advisor 509/533-8103 BLawrence@scc.spokane.edu Facebook Gonzaga University GLBT Resource Center globalstqsa@gmail.com Unity Multicultural Education Center Commonly referred to as Global, stands for Gay, 709 E. Desmet Lesbian or Bisexual Action League, Straight and Spokane WA 99258 Transgendered: Queer-Straight Alliance. Global's 509/313-5847 purpose is to promote awareness and provide Website Facebook resources and a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, lgbt@gonzaga.edu questioning, ally, transgender, transsexual, The LGBT Resource Center at Gonzaga University is queer, asexual, intersex, and non-heteronormative identified inspired and guided by the university mission and values of faith, service, justice, leadership, and ethics. people. It aims to serve as a center for supporting community, networking, research, and education related to concerns shared by students, staff, and faculty of diverse sexual orientations, gender identities and expressions.
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Spokane Falls Community College - The Alliance
Barbara Williamson - Advisor 509-533-4507 Website Facebook GLBT and allies group to provide a safe space and to educate our community. University OfIdaho Gay-Straight Alliance
ASUI Office - Idaho Commons, Room 302 Moscow ID 83844 Website Facebook alliance@uidaho.edu Social support group for students.
UNIVERSITYOF IDAHO LGBTQA OFFICE
PO Box 441064 Moscow ID 83844 208/885-6583 Website lgbtoffice@uidaho.edu A safe and welcoming space for members of the university community to explore aspects of sexual orientation and gender issues in an open and nonjudgmental atmosphere. They strive to promote full inclusion of LGBT persons and their allies at UI and to eliminate homophobia, heterosexism, and sexism on their campus. Washington State University Women's Resource Center
Wilson Hall, Room 8 PO Box 644005 Pullman WA 99164-4005 509/335-6849 Website The Center works to promote a safe and supportive climate that enables women to engage as full and active participants within the university system. The Center helps transform the educational environment into a more inclusive and progressive institution by assisting, supporting, and mentoring women at Washington State University.
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Washington State University GLBTA
PO Box 647204 - CUB401 Pullman WA 99164 509/335-4311 Website glbta.aswsu@wsu.edu The mission of the Gender Identity/Expression and Sexual Orientation Resource Center is to support education and advocacy for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and straight-allied students, staff, and faculty, as well as alumni/ae and members of the Palouse community. Washington State University Gender Identity
Expression And Sexual Orientation Resource Center PO Box 647204 Pullman WA 99163-7204 509/335-6388 hstanton@wsu.edu Support and resources for the GLBT WSU community.
Open & Affirming Congregations Rainbow Cathedral Metropolitan Community Church
225 N. 2nd St. Yakima WA (Between Martin Luther King Blvd and Lincoln Ave) Pastor: Rev. Jane Emma Newall 509/457-6454 Website therevjane@juno.com Celebrating God's Expansive Love in the Yakima Valley 6:30 PM Sundays River ofLife Metropolitan Community Church
2625 W. Bruneau Pl. Kennewick WA 99336 509/628-4047 Website Christian church celebrating diversity and affirming GLBT people. Sunday services at 11:30 a.m.
Seventh-day Adventist Kinship
Website
Book Group - GLBT
Meeting at The LGBT Center 1522 N. Washington St., #102 Unitarian Universalist Church Spokane WA 99201 4340 W. Fort Wright Dr. Website Spokane WA 99224 Have a passion for books? Want to share your passion 509/325-6383 with others and make new friends, all the while Website Facebook exploring interesting titles and subjects? If so, then admin-asst@uuspokane.org The Center's Book Group is for you. The Group We join together to create an inspiring and nourishing meets the 1st Tuesday of the month at 7pm at The liberal religious home. In the wider world, we Center. Always welcoming new folks to join and champion justice, diversity, and environmental make new friends!!! stewardship. Unity Church
2900 S. Bernard St. Spokane WA 99203 509/838-6518 Website Facebook terri@unityspokane.org We are a community of love and acceptance dedicated to spiritual discovery. Westminster Congregation United Church
411 S. Washington St. Spokane WA 99204 509/624-1366 Facebook Founded in 1879, Westminster celebrates over 125 years of dedicated service to God and the people of Spokane.
Social and Support Groups
Destinations
509/850-0150 Website Facebook Secretary@DestinationsOfSpokane.org Destinations is an all-inclusive social group in the Inland Northwest encouraging interaction, mutual understanding and friendship between all sexual orientations and gender identities. We provide social settings and activities for people from diverse points of view to network, form bonds and create alliances. Equality Spokane
509/723-2498 Facebook info@equalityspokane.org Equality Spokane's mission is to help motivate, inspire, encourage and bring Spokane's lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered people along with their families and friends together.
Bi-Social in Spokane
Facebook GettingBi@gmail.com A social group of varied ages and interests gathered to chat, play, and plan.
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