WOMEN FRIENDLY WORKPLACES

9 TRUTHS WHICH WILL SERVE YOU WELL AS THE WORLD CHANGES

There’s good news and bad news for women in leadership.

First the bad news: We live and work in a world that still tips the advantages toward men. We still face plenty of challenges. But the good news is very good news: Women have never been better positioned to lead the way in the 21st century workplace. We already have the strengths and the (so-called) “soft skills” needed to make organizations thrive, and one by one, we are creating a more diverse and inclusive workplace. To take advantage of this golden opportunity, Jackie Gaines says we need to get proactive about equipping ourselves with the tools and tactics that set us up to shine.

“No matter where you are today on the career ladder, the habits you are sharpening right now will determine your success in the future,” said Gaines, M.S., R.N, author of “Wearing the Yellow Suit: A Guide for Women in Leadership” (Huron|Studer Group Publishing, 2020, ISBN: 978-1-62218-110-0, $24). “And they will make a drastic impact on your workplace as well.”

Gaines wrote “Wearing the Yellow Suit” to help women do just that. It is full of powerful, useful, and candid advice to help women on every rung of the career ladder reach their goals and succeed in their chosen fields. It focuses on topics such as developing must-have management skills, breaking out of the standard business uniform, mastering the art of “respectful truth-telling,” harnessing your natural characteristics as a woman, and navigating motherhood and menopause.

“In the 40 years that I have been a leadership executive, I’ve learned the ‘secret sauce’ habits and skills that create exceptional leaders,” Gaines said. “What I have seen over and over again as women take their place in leadership positions is that women bring unique attributes to all organizations. When we lead our way, everyone thrives.”

Read on to learn some essential truths Gaines has discovered over the years:

TRUTH: You don’t have to abide by the same old gender-biased dress code. Just because men’s workwear consists of muted colors and dark suits doesn’t mean you have to mimic this look. Be professional but stay true to yourself, embracing the colors that reflect the “real you.” Wear that yellow suit!

TRUTH: The many roles women play set you up perfectly to be a leader. Women are wives, mothers, teachers, caretakers, disciplinarians, housekeepers, and more, Gaines said. The same skills women have perfected over the years to balance their lives make them excellent leaders. Harness your ability to juggle many tasks at once, your strong organization skills, and your nurturing instinct to help you and your team excel.

TRUTH: “Soft skills” are in demand. Purposely develop and hone them. Women are well suited for the skills that are valued in today’s workplace: emotional intelligence, relationshipbuilding, collaboration, and teamwork. We are good listeners, creative, and empathetic. We are naturals at multitasking, connecting the dots, and being inclusive. Continue to sharpen these skills throughout your career.

TRUTH: You need to deal with your female guilt. “Women were once expected to stay home and care for their spouse and children,” Gaines said. “While times have changed, female-leader guilt is real. To help alleviate it, write down the reasons you work and remind yourself of them often. Trust yourself and the choice you’ve made for your family. And make the most of quality time with those closest to you.”

TRUTH: Real strength is in unity! Do not continually choose business partners who are “like you” simply because it is comfortable. The secret to creating a high-quality, highperformance work team is the ability to use the strengths of each team member and the blending of their different viewpoints, personalities, cultures, processes, procedures, and operations into a tight, cohesive team that has bonded by overcoming shared adversity.

TRUTH: You do not have to go it alone. Mentors are valuable tools for success. Mentors see your potential, open doors, help you discern what is important to you, and teach you to navigate corporate waters. Every female leader should look for a mentor to offer this kind of guidance. And when you are ready, find someone to mentor.

TRUTH: Motherhood does not need to slow you down. If you take time away from your career, absorb as much current information as possible. Schedule a date with yourself at least once a month to review an article, read a book, take a class, or chat with a mentor about hot topics in your field. This approach will keep you sharp until you are ready to return to work.

TRUTH: People love leaders who keep meetings productive but short. “The average person wastes about 250 hours per year in unproductive meetings,” Gaines said. “Use a standardized agenda with a focus on the strategic priorities to stay focused and on topic.”

TRUTH: Optimism impacts everything. Negativity breeds more negativity. You could be the source of negative or positive energy in the organizations you lead. It is your choice. Just remember, leaders set the tone for an organization or those who work for them.

Whether you are a recent college graduate, a C-suite executive, or anyone in between, you will find the guidance and wisdom you need to take your career to the next level and beyond. Go ahead and wear that yellow suit! 

Women are better positioned than ever to lead the way in the 21st century workplace.

Cheese Head and Hula Girl

 by Darlene Buechel

Shortly before Christmas in 2019 I received a goody package from my friend Michelle in Hawaii.

I was excited to check out the Hawaiian Kona Coffee, Furikake party mix, chocolate-covered macadamia nuts, and shortbread cookies. The enclosed Christmas card and letter turned my wintery Wisconsin Wednesday into a temporary tropical escape.

I know people get packages from all across the U.S. and beyond, but what made this delivery extra special was the fact that 2019 was the 50th year I’ve received letters from Michelle—a lady I’ve never met in person.

Michelle and I were both fifth graders in 1969. My teacher, Sister Simona, made learning fun and exciting at St. Mary School in Hilbert. I still can picture her dark-skinned, chalk-smudged face and wide grin as she danced down the aisle in black habit and veil while Simon and Garfunkel belted tunes from old 45 rpm records. Michelle spent fifth grade at Cathedral School in Honolulu in the classroom of Sister Mary Simon. Both nuns, we later learned, were members of the Franciscan sisters and Sister Mary Simon was originally from Wisconsin.

Sister Mary Simon sent a list of her students’ names and addresses as well as a photo of each to Sister Simona in Hilbert and Michelle and I were teamed up as pen pals. I remember thinking Michelle looked cute and exotic with her dark hair and dark skin while I looked like the pale, boring, blond that I was. Back then stamps were six cents and I tried to ignore the bitter taste as I licked the back and plopped it on the right corner of the envelope. I neatly addressed my first letter to Michelle, printed my return address Darlene and Michelle are pictured from their seventh grade class photos.

in the corner, and proudly dropped it off at the Post Office on Main Street in Hilbert.

Since this was a class assignment at both of our schools I knew I’d get at least one letter in return, but I hoped my new pen pal would find my letters so exciting that we’d write back and forth for all of fifth grade. Little did I dream we’d be still writing over 50 years later!

I wish I’d kept copies of my early letters to Michelle and I wish even more that I would have kept my correspondence from her. After the 2019 Christmas delivery from Michelle I emailed her to compile some facts about our Cheese Head and Hula Girl writing relationship.

When we first became pen pals we talked about friends and hobbies. My Catholic School pals were Mary Lynn, Dawn, and Lynn. We played Barbies at recess along with Double Dutch jump rope. Michelle remembered playing jacks and Double Dutch with her buddies Loraine, Karen, and Carol. I took tap dance lessons and played the clarinet (badly). I camped with my family during summer and ice skated and built snowmen in winter time. Michelle fished with bamboo poles and took hula lessons at the YWCA. One of my childhood highlights was tap dancing on stage at the Park for Hilbert 4th of July—and getting paid 10 whole dollars! Michelle recalled baton twirling in the King Kamehameha parade as she marched to music and tried to avoid the horse poo.

Our early letters featured family too. I’m sure I mentioned middle child woes with Dennis (19 months older than me) and Diane (13 months my junior). Michelle is the only girl in her family and is second oldest after Greg. Her pesky younger brothers are Kevin (7 years younger) and Rodney (10 years younger).

In some of her letters Michelle listed the foods she liked. While I mostly chowed down on boring stuff like hamburgers, pizza, and spaghetti, my Hawaiian friend was exposed to Chinese, Japanese, Hawaiian, Italian, and Korean fare. Pizza was my favorite childhood food, but I also loved cherry soup (a recipe passed down from

Grandma Brantmeier—cold soup with cherries and dumplings). Michelle said she’s always liked seafood—especially sushi—and a good Chinese roast duck or dim sum (appetizer-sized dumplings that are filled with meat and steamed or baked).

I started my job as a bank teller right after high school. At the time I was interested in psychology but didn’t know how that could lead to a career. Michelle, on the other hand, went to the University of Hawaii at Manoa and graduated with a Bachelor’s in Psychology. After college Michelle got a state job with the Department of Social Services and then a federal job after that. Most of her 30-year federal career was spent at the Pearl Harbor Naval Shipyard. I spent over 22 years working as deputy clerk (also a government job) so I guess we had more in common than we thought.

Both of us have also been lucky to have long marriages. Rich and I tied the knot on Oct. 23, 1982 in Chilton; Michelle and Erick got married July 26, 1986 in Honolulu. Over the years we shared the joys of being a mom. When Danielle was born in 1985 and Ben in 1987 I sent photos, stories, and articles touting the joys (and frustrations) of parenthood. Michelle became a mom in 1991 when her son Troy was born. While my kids (and grandsons) live within five miles of our farm, Michelle’s only son runs a Korean fried chicken franchise in Burma—over 6,800 miles from Hawaii!

Luckily, Michelle and Erick like to travel so they see Troy a few times a year. Michelle recently retired from her government job and is looking into part-time work in a travel-related field to hopefully get travel discounts. Rich and I don’t travel much due to the farm (and our distaste for air travel) but maybe one of these years Michelle will hop a plane and finally meet this Wisconsin cheese head in person. Until then, hopefully we’ll keep writing—even if it’s just a few emails throughout the year and a package at Christmas.

Over the years I’ve wondered if any of the other Hilbert/Honolulu pen Darlene displays goodies received from Michelle last December.

pals from 1969 still keep in touch. Any hobby or activity you can do for over 50 years deserves to be celebrated! These days I don’t grab my purple troll pen or flowered stationery to correspond with Michelle, but I’m happy to send an email or a typed letter (with postage of 55 cents) to catch up with an old friend. Thanks for the memories Michelle—hopefully we’ll have many more to share. 